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Elizabeth. How you doing, Zaren?
I'm great? Really, Oh I've I've never felt better.
Really. That's smile on your face just sells it.
It feels so good.
Right now, I got a question for you. Yeah, do you know what's ridiculous?
I do? I do? Do you like? Uh? Do you like wild and unexpected taste sensations?
Sure? Yeah?
Okay, So I want you to think about, like, what's your like?
Feels like a set up?
What would be like the best toothpaste ever?
Come on, that'sh chocolate Mermaid flavor?
Perfect. Okay. So I'm not going to tell you where I got this. I cannot reveal who told me about this.
Oh God, this is gonna be bad, isn't it?
The calls coming from inside the house. Anyway, I'm going to read you the blurb and then you got to guess the parts that are taken out. Okay, Boca, that's like a tooth like a mouth company.
They do like toothpaste and Spanish.
And like yeah but with a K b Oka and they do like mouthwash and that kind of stuff.
Sure.
Boca has teamed up with to create a one of a kind flavor sensation. Just like Boca is all about celebrating pure ingredients and unforgettable flavors for that and taste is irresistible, a flavor that excites the palette and awakens the senses. Now you can carry that craving with you from morning tonight while also enjoying healthier teeth. A match made in flavor heaven. And now something truly worth smiling.
About, paprika, butter and bacon.
Well, think about what that would I mean, legitimate lisair and think about like what would you be talking about?
I do not know?
Okay, So who did they team up with? Grillo's pickle? And so, just like Boca, Gorillas is all about celebrating puer ingredients. And so they were saying for pickle lovers that briny, sweet and tangy taste is irresistible.
As a toothpaste, yeah.
And so it's cucumber. Dill is the flavor of the toothpaste. Usually you brush your teeth to get the dill pickle flavor out of your mouth. Uh huh, there you go. So that's it. That's ridiculous.
Picklemongers use vanilla to wash their hands to get the smell off their hands. He said, like, what if you put it in your mouth and then just like breathe on.
It walked around all day.
Yeah, it was a bit. That's ridiculous.
It's made especially for close talkers.
I'm giving you that one.
Yeah, thank you.
You got a second. I got one for you.
I got all the time in the world.
Okay, do you remember how I used to be a journalist.
I do remember that.
Yeah, that's not the ridiculous part, but.
That it was kind of ridiculous.
I was telling somebody about the state of the industry the other day. Use flash, it's bad.
It's terrible.
So anyway, we got to talking and he reminded me about a story I did a while back. I was like, oh, yeah, that's right. That's one of my favorite stories I recovered, right, and so I was like, ah, I should tell Elizabeth that story. It's about this guy who died in La right. Yeah, well I lived down there, right and his dad did you do it?
No?
I did not do that one. His death unleashed this super strange mystery that gripped LA for a while. The thing was, Elizabeth. When this dude died, his body was left in an suv oh yeah, and the reason why his dead body was left in the suv was for the CIA or some other super spy organization to come and retrieve his dead body. Oh yeah. The problem was they never showed up, so his body stayed there for weeks, right up until the LAPD discovered him. And that's when
things got super weird. Okay, you see, Elizabeth, Allegedly this dead guy was a shape shifting half alien, half human hybrid who was secretly a super spy guy for the US government. Yeah. Like I said, this story is all kinds of while this is ridiculous crime A podcast about.
Absurd and outrageous capers, heists, and cons, it's always ninety nine percent murder free, a one hundred percent ridiculous ridiculous.
Oh Elizabeth, oh zaren? Do you like stories about aliens, UFOs and UAPs which is what they call them now and all that kinds of freaky show?
Or why not? You do I like anything weird? You know?
When I was doing my research on this one, I was surprised to learn that your favorite band, the Decembrists, have never recorded a song about aliens.
That is kind of well, if aliens drowned, they would.
I mean, I'd assumed they'd have a song about it, like, I don't know, a charming summertime encounter with an alien spacecraft while standing outside of philatalist convention and while conversing with a color blind butterfly collector.
You know, yeah, are they listening?
The lyrics are there?
Bro.
My point is, I think they could make a hell of a song out of this story in particular, So pay attention. Anyway, enough hype, let's let the good times roll was bit. This story begins with a woman named Catherine and Lebron Goren who comes home and finds her fiance's dead body in the suv right where she left it. Oh, just so you know, she didn't kill it, Okay, In this story, the guy died of natural causes.
Just like behind the wheel of an suv.
No, she put him there, oh boy? Yeah? So anyway, he was not supposed to be in the suv when she got back, because it had been like two weeks since Catherine left her fiance's body in the suv and it's summertime in La. She left him covered in bags of dry ice, but those had melted long ago in the summertime sun, so now she comes back to this mummified body in the suv, wrapped up in blankets.
Well, I mean, I don't mean to be gross, but mumified are like bloated out.
I think at this point we're getting into the mummification period. I think the gas is pretty much leaked out, but I know it's smell crazy in there, right. So his fiance, Catherine lebron Goren, she gets over her shock at seeing him still there because you see, Elizabeth this she expected, as he said, some super secret government agency to come and collect his body. So you know, as far as she knows, he's half alien, half human hybrid superspy guy. So she's like, now, come on, come get your guy.
So she's like, when she sees they didn't do that, she phones her lawyer, right, so maybe he'll know what to do with this dead super spy guy. So he listens to his client's story and he's like, I should probably charge her more. And then he's like, okay, look, look I'll handle this. So he hangs up with her. He calls the LAPD and he tells them, you know, I got a dead body you can find. I can tell you right where to find it. Yeah, what for real, Like,
how do you know where this dead body is? Sir? Well, he's like, look, look, it's my client's fiance and she says she left his body in the suv. So that's some super secret spy agency. He could come and claim his body, just as he had instructed her to do. So really, it's on him. The ALAPD is like, is the suv parked on a city street? The lawyer has to be admit, yeah about that? What if it is? So the LAPD sent some cops out to find this
dead body in the suv park on a city street. No, turns out it's parked, not like in downtown La or it can skid row or someplace where people like leave things to be forgotten. No, the suv is parked in Pacific Palisades. Oh, which, if you don't know, it's this rich little neighborhood. I'm on a bluff above the Pacific Ocean between Santa Monica and Malibu.
So it's like money, money, money, peach boys saying of it exactly.
So anyway, this story erupts as soon as LAPD got to get the body. The next day, the newspaper headlines are announcing in bold typeset, twelve hundred guns, two hundred and thirty thousand dollars in cash. Dead body found in suv left to rot for weeks parked on the street in wealthy La neighborhood. People were like, what is going on with this story? So it turns out the dead body just the beginning of this mystery the LAPD. They are shocked when they find that. They track the dead
body back to a condo. The alleged half alien human hybrid super spy guy was keeping the aforementioned arsenal of twelve hundred guns inside, yes, of a booby trapped condo. So when the police go in, there's like, you know, crossbow bolt samed at the door, you know, IEDs in the bathroom. Right, So they're like, oh no, right, and so the the twelve hundred guns. By the way, that's worth approximately five million dollars, right, this is like so serious, cat.
That takes up a lot of LOTO.
Oh yes, yeah, a longer room for twelve hundred guns.
Yeah.
So anyway, soon enough rumors start to swirl together with fact, and the news story started reporting on all the guns this guy has, and then they start talking about the alien talk. Then that creeps into the news and the black Ops agency talk, and that all comes into the second wave of stories. Right now, the lawyer for Catherine lebron Gorn, he helped all this along because he's the guy who called the LAPD, right, So he tells reporters when they come calling on him, He's like, look, this
guy could have been working for anyone. Oh yes, So that proporter's like, what what do you mean? Right, So he also the reporter they find out from the lawyer. He added that his client was told by the mysterious dead man that he had multiple storage units all around the LA area, right, and inside of those were probably more guns. But not just more guns, but also bulletproof super spy guy SUVs and an amphibious assault vehicle for
his black ops missions. He's got like James Bond like garages around all.
Yeah.
So at this point the half alien human hybrid super spy guys talks starts really cooking, right because reporters find the mother of a missing woman who's involved in this story. The missing woman her name is don Marie vad Bunker will get into her in a little bit. She's the assistant of Catherine de Broun. Goren. Okay, the fiance, the mysterious dead guy.
Right.
Yeah, so Catherine's rich, right, She's this daughter of a guy who built a real estate empire and fortune in La back in the day, and she now just coasts on that largesse.
Yeah.
So that's how she can have an assistant and a half alien human hybrid. You know, she can afford it.
That's just that's the hottest successor.
You kidding me? So the assistant she goes missing, right, and her mother grows worried. So she inserts herself into this narrative by contact or the press contacts her. She contacts the press. I do not know, but she does interviews, and she claims that her daughter told her. She's terrified of what's going on because you know, her boss's boyfriend is an alien, so she's scary. Yeah right, so you know it's specifically Elizabeth. He is a reptilian shape shifter.
That's really hard to hear.
Yeah, exactly, especially for a mother and her boss. Catherine was also an alien according to Don Marie.
Oh really terrifying totally.
She's from some distant watery planet. Yeah. But not only that, but the assistant, Dawn Marie told her mom that she saw the mystery dead guy shape shift into his reptilian form. She said she saw she saw it with her own two eyes, Elizabeth. Wow, yeah, did you see that there were congressional hearings on Capitol Hill this past week about
UAPSE aka UFOs. I saw headlines but okay, well the news flash the leading experts say aliens are real, and that we've recovered spaceships and so have other countries around the world, and there are possibly biologics, which means recovered bodies. Wait, yes, your thoughts.
This should be like headlines. The headlines are crowded.
Yeah, a little bit right now. Wow yeah, so all this UFO stuff gets admitted, right, and so you'd think this normal alien talk would be like, oh, big news, as you said, right, Yeah, back then it was big news because this was like speculation. So people are going now that we have facts, we're like, God's boring.
I kind of judge everything by do I get a BBC breaking news ort and I didn't get an alien?
Yeah, I don't know why. Apparently they're waiting for like an actual body. They're like, show them, give me the body where I can put my finger in it. So anyway, do you know about reptilians, Like, I'm just kind of breeze past that you know about David I and the say that.
Cat Yeah yeah yeah. And it's also like it's totally anti Semitic, oh yeah, and racist in a lot of senses. Yeah, but it's it feels to me like a very nineties conspiracy theory, very Adbusters. Oh yeah. Yeah.
So David IKI, for those who don't know, is a brit and he published books, and one of his books is about vampiric blood drinking aliens who are humanoid reptilian looking creatures and they can obviously shape shift, because who wants to look like a reptile? So these lizard people, as they get called, Yeah, he says that Queen Elizabeth was one of them. Also most of the British royal family sure, yeah. And then that means also the Bush
family because they're related. So he says, George W. Bush, and I assume his father, George H. W. Bush, all reptilians.
Sure.
So these lizard people they're from apparently the Alpha Draconis solar system, and they are here on Earth and they live in subterranean bases waiting to take over.
I've never been there, but I hear it's beauediful.
Yeah, great sunsets. So this guy David Ikey, right, he didn't come up with this idea on his own. The idea had been around for a while, and most folks they trace it back to the writer of the Conan, the Barbarian fictional universe. Yeah, Robert E. Howard, And he had a story called Shadow Kingdom, and in that story he's got shape shifting serpent headed snake men. And then you know, fast forward a few decades and you get now online videos of people trying to prove that Beyonce
and Miley Cyrus are lizards. So thank you Robert E. Howard. Anyway, not long after hearing about some of these shape shifting reptilian alien talk from her daughter don Marie, the daughter goes missing. So the mother's like, the alien's got my baby. Then weeks later, her mother receives a handwritten letter from her daughter. She's fine, Elizabeth, and the postmark is from Sacramento. That's kind of weird because she's from LA. They're like, well,
what's up with that? Moving on, Yeah, her mother's like, uh, well, I'm glad I heard from her and then she never hears from her again. Hmm.
Yeah.
But anyway, thanks for her mother's concern and adventually, I mean, it's legitimately troubling, oh totally, but thanks for a mother's concern and her coming forward to the press and also filing a miss persons report. Some police action takes place on this story.
Okay.
Yeah, A little while later, the police up in Oregon contact the mother and they inform her they just they found don Marie. She's no longer missing. Don't have to worry about her. Yeah, she was just walking around in a motel parking lot after dark by herself, late at night, and the cops recognized her from the missing person's bulletin they've been put out, so they pulled over. They spoke with her outside the motel parking lot and they told
her and about her mother filing the report. She's like, oh, tell my mom, I'm fine. And also, by the way, I'm kind of a strange from her, so don't tell her where I am, but tell her I'm fine. I'm clearly not missing. So they do that, okay, and then she disappeared again.
Kind of sounds like last through this.
Oh dude, I'm telling you this story, like you keep thinking, oh, I got my hands on it, and then it shape shifts away, Lizzie. So as more early news stories come out, reporters find that the mystery dead guy, he's this creature of habit, right, they start asking people who did you know him? Did you know him? They talk to neighbors, They find some waiters who come forward and they tell
the reporters about this mystery dead man. He would always come to their restaurant, and of course he'd always eat the same thing. He ordered raw filet mignon raw, don't even put a match under it. He told the waiters how he liked to eat that because he believed it was vitally important to eat bloody cuts of red meat.
Oh my god. So he's like a quoto dragon.
Basically, I remember vampiric blood drinkers. So anyway, occasionally he would mix this up. He'd also order a raw buffalo steak, so when he wanted to mix it up, boom. But he liked the red meat anyway. Raw red meat is part of a growing theory online that this mystery dead guy was indeed a half alien half human hybrid, because that's the only explanation right, of course, probably part reptilian. So keeping score, what do we have going so far? We have an eccentric gun collector. We have a secret
arsenal big enough to invade Cuba. We have a rich fiance who is the heiress of a real estate fortune in La. She has an assistant who told her mother that her boss and her boss's fiance are both aliens, and that she's personally seen it that her boss is a shape shifting reptilian. We also have a super spy guy doing black ops missions for a secret government agency we've yet to name check that maybe possibly part of inter cosmic warfare. Of course, you're falling along so far.
Oh yeah, okay, but I haven't told you this guy's name yet. His neighbors they nicknamed him Skinny Bob. His government name was Jeffrey Allen.
Lash Jeffrey Allen is Skinny Bob. That's like, that's totally like a nickname I would have for a neighbor or a dog. Well, yeah, but I mean, like, you know, you have your neighbors.
That you know their name an Cavamack references.
Yeah, exactly, Well, Elizabeth.
When I first started covering the story, this Dudejeffrey Allen Lash, was a John Doe in the La County Morgue. Right, they've been there for six weeks. No autopsy results were released, which was odd. Yeah, and uh naturally obviously that helped fan the flames of online theories. And this mystery dead guy was, you know, indeed, shape shifting half human, half
alien hybrid super spy guy. Right. Because the lapd kept stalling and saying, oh, we need a little more time, people were like, they're trying to get together their cover up.
Yeah, cause of death, excessive raw red meat.
So let's take a little break, okay, And after these cozy commercial breaks, I queued up just for you, I'll introduce you to Jeffrey Allen Lash, the man, and we'll solve this super weird mystery together.
Nice, Elizabeth, we're back, sarn.
Okay, how you doing.
It's ridiculous.
I was checking online forums for this story when I was doing my research.
I love online form oh the best, just.
The collection of opinions. I found this guy, Jeffrey Allen Lash. He had a father, obviously, because a lot of people do, and his father was quite an interesting fellow. Elizabeth. We talked about the occult scene in and around LA in the forties and early fifties. The scenes kind of ties together a very interesting mix. You got Hollywood folks and then like there's also physicists and scientists from the Jet
Propulsion Lab in Baceadena. Then he got your amateur occultists in the vein of like Aleister Crowley and Anton Levy and they're hanging around with like a young l ron Hubbard in his pre scientology days. And then you throw in like Ronald and Nancy Reagan who come into the scene because they're into the occult and alleged sex and drug parties. It's a wild bit, right. Jeffrey Allen Lash's father all up in that scene.
Oh oh yeah, his dad.
He was certainly an odd fellow, right, So he's super secretive. Also, he's a scientist, a microbiologist. He founds his own lab, which he was the lab director for like thirty years, so he's good at it now. Around the time young Jeffrey Allen Lash was born or made or hatched or whatever he was, his father was working with a pioneer in gender affirming surgery. At the time. This guy was known as a back alley sex change surgeon.
Oh interesting.
Yeah, his name is doctor Elmer Belt and he's huge with like UCLA medicine. But he was also considered the first person to perform the gender affirming surgery in the United States.
Wow.
Yeah, So his father's association with doctor Belt is also what gives some folks online the asked to keep cooking on their conspiracy theory with the mystery dead Guy's father in the back alley sex change surgeon work together on a secret plan to create a half alien, half human hybrid and then raised him to be a super spy guy.
So anyway, in this confusing first weeks when everybody's trying to sort fact from fiction, there was one man who came forward and he said, I knew Jeffrey Allen lash right. I knew him over the years, and I watched him change. The man was a local AM radio reporter. I love that the station kf I AM in LA. His name is Eric Leonard, and since he'd personally known the mystery dead guy all that's all over the local news, he agreed to sit down for an exclusive interview with his
own station. So Leonard said he'd want to set the record straight, right, so.
He gets interview himself.
No, we actually going did talk to people, but that'd be great. He's just turning his head, So Eric Leonard says on air, and I quote, part of my job is to know lots of unusual people, and in those travels I wound up crossing paths with this guy. So then he gets into how he knows him. He goes over what he recalls of Jeffrey Allen Lash. Acording to Leonard, Lash was a very interesting character when I first ran
across about fifteen years ago. He was a very wealthy person who was extremely secretive about everything in his personal life. He didn't want people he meant to even know his name. He was paranoid, clearly, and that paranoia got worse over the years. He thought he would become the target of outside evil forces. He wanted to take his things, steal his money, get ahold of his gun collection, which was really one of his prize possessions.
Yeah, I think so.
Yeah, So you get a little sense of this guy paranoid, doesn't like seeking wealthy anyway. Leonard says he learned about Lash's health troubles and quote, it appears that he told friends and others that he had als, but it may have been something else. He knew maybe two years ago that he was going to suffer a horrible death, and he'd begun planning for that, and he was living his life in a way that everybody would find highly unusual.
Wow.
So yeah, in this reporter's estimation, could this man he knew be the shape shifting, half alien human hybrid black ops superspy guy everyone's talking about. Leonard unsurprisingly had his doubts. The best of my knowledge, and from the few interactions I had with him, and certainly from the stories that people who knew him much better than me, they told
me he was a kind of a harmless kook. He was somebody who was very well off, and if he didn't have money and means, he probably would have been treated by society very very differently.
Oh yeah, you can be weird as all get out. Oh you got enough money?
The British eccentrics showed us the way.
Oh yeah.
Now this raises the question, was last just playing at being a super spy guy because he had money? Or if so, why would he want people to think he was a reptilian? That doesn't quite jive? And was he actually wealthy? Was even that true. Ye, back to Leonard, he'd never worked today. As far as I knew, the money came from his father's side. He had a mother and father, they're both deceased. He has no relatives anywhere, no brothers, no sisters. He was the end of the line.
He was the sole recipient of his family's wealth. But he was extremely evasive about where that came from. But the best I've been able to deduce his father worked in science and had patents that were licensed and were involved in some very very heavily used pharmaceuticals, and the royalties from that came in the millions, millions of millions
of dollars. When I first met him, he was receiving a disbursement from the family trust somewhere in the neighborhood, and this is an educated guest, somewhere in the neighborhood of thirty or forty thousand dollars a week a week, yes, one hundred and twenty month, Yeah, one hundred and sixty dollars a month. Yet, depending on which one you guess.
What pharmaceutical money.
Yeah. How much trouble with that theory is that microbiologists rarely patent anything.
You don't know, not anything that's worth.
A fortune, and his father was just that. So was this any of this true? Right? Well, let's just get past all that, because Leonard doesn't know the answer to that. Does he Was this guy a super spy guy or not? Leonard?
Good question.
So, according to the KFI AM radio reporter, Leonard, from everything I know, it's very unlikely, especially because the two people I know that know him are the real deal. They're involved with actual stuff, with actual agencies, and they are very serious individuals. Well, isn't that exactly what they would hey, Leonard?
Yeah?
I mean if they know him and they're both big muckety MUCKs and real agencies, they are like, oh yeah, I don't worry about that.
I know zero muckety MUCKs and real agencies, and this guy's got two exactly.
And they're both trying to act like there's no story here.
Yeah.
So, try as he might, Leonard obviously did not help put out the flames of online theories. He let them burn on. At this point, Elizabeth, I started doing research on this story, and I reached out to some folks. I did some interviews, and at one point I tracked down Don Marie's mother. Okay, and I asked to speak with her. I'm like, give me the goods.
Yeah.
Now, Elizabeth, you thought this story is odd, Here's where it takes another turn. No, wa, yeah, I drove up to meet her. She lives up like a Inventora County and I go and I talked to Laura vad Bunker, that's the mother. I asked her about her daughter, and she interrupts to tell me that she adopted don Marie earlier that year. She adopted a thirty nine year old woman.
Wait, yeah, you can you do that?
Oh? Yeah, totally. Can you adopt anybody if you want to?
You can't?
Yeah, you can. You just have to do the lookout where well they have to agree to. But you see, don Marie had been dating their son, okay, the bad Bunker's son. Yeah, they got married and then the vad Bunkers helped the couple to get a house. But not long after that, things kind of go south. Her son walks out on don Marie. That leads to this terrible downward spiral for her. Don Marie then loses the home,
she loses her car. At some point, the family's like, we understand if you want to, like, you know, annull the marriage, and so she did. She annulled the marriage to their son. But the bad Bunkers were like, but we love you, We're not prepared to say goodbye to our daughter in law. So they adopted her and they dropped the in law part and they just made her
their daughter, which means she's now her ex husband's legal sister. Yeah. Right, So anyway, that was about the same time that don Marie got a job working for Catherine Lebron Goren as her personal assistant.
Well, you know, like when you hit a low point in life, you've got to go get a job working for some like rich.
Yeah, that's a good call because it'll at least keep your life interesting exactly. So at this point she's mostly taking care of like processing legal paper work because I remember real estate Empire allowed to leave.
I forgot about the real estate thing. I was like, Oh, she's just in a lot of trouble.
No, she has lawyers, but you know, anyway, so she's going mostly dah. Marie is going through boxes of contracts for her boss, Catherine, and at this point she's yet to meet her boss's mystery fiance. Then six months before he dies, don Marie gets brought inside the circle of trust. She meets Jeffrey Allen Lash, although she knows him as Bob Skinny Bob. Yeah, he can introduce himself, is he I'm Bob oh? I remember, he doesn't want people to
know his name, not even his fiance's assistant. According to our adopted mother, though, this is when don Marie started to change lauras she noted that do Marie's diet changed dramatically. All she wanted to eat was raw food. She said this was a suggestion from Jeffrey Allen Lash. Only eat raw meat, anything with blood in it.
Oh God.
This is just the start, though, because soon don Marie starts talking about how Jeffrey Allen Lash is so important in her life, and then also he's secretly a shape shifting half alien, half human hybrid. Her adoptive mother starts to question some of this weirdness, right, She's like, what's going on, Dummer. He's like, I'm healing him, I'm helping to save the world. That's the raw meat talking you
all protein hopped up. So to prove to her adoptive mother how special Bob is aka Jeffrey Allen Lash, she arranged for Laura to meet him, right, just because I forgot to tell you this. Laura is a wreaky healer, you know, like lay your hands on people but don't actually touch them, and so she's called in. Of course heal Bob. All right, So Laura meets him. He's in an suv because that's just where he loves to be, and he's acting weird as ever. The mother Laura, she
performs a wreaky healing or Reichy healing on him. She told me that she said he was the sickest man alive I've ever seen.
This is so fringes of la, Like you had a deck of cards with all the elements of fringe la. You started pulling him lagor like the magnet poetry refrigerator exactly.
They just overturned the box and just started throwing things up on the refrigerator. Was like, oh wow, this is an amazing story.
Does Aaron tell this story?
So at this point, don Marie and her mother they're trying to like it's kind of suss out, like is he actually a half alien human hybrid super spy and so dah Marie told her adoptive mother, who was willing to entertain the idea. And I quote, this is Laura telling the story about Don Marie. So one day she came home very emotional and crying. She said, there's a god. There's a god. There's a god. And I said, okay, what's going on? And she says, I saw Bob and
really he has yellow eyes. He's got like a reptilian body. And I said, how did this happen? And she tells me I saw him in the suv like that, and I'm like, okay. So I started being very careful with her mentally and emotionally. I saw major changes in six weeks that I could not explain. She was devoted to Catherine and Bob. It was like she gave up her whole life to.
Do this six weeks.
Six weeks.
Yes.
So now that she's actually met him and seems somewhat reasonable, I had to ask, you know, did Laura think that jeffreyon Lash was a half alien half human hybrid? You did the wreky on him?
She saw him in the suv? Was he dead then?
No, he was a lot more just close to death.
Man. He looked terrible.
So she told me, and I quote, our government says there's no area fifty one. Our government says there's no UFOs. Our government says we've never recovered aliens. Well, we all know, if you do your research on it, that's a one hundred percent lie because apparently we as humans cannot accept the truth that we are not the only ones here. Okay, well the government has come around, So I gotta give her.
That one as like, well, what else is?
Youre? Right? And so anyway, after that one weird encounter. So, according to Laura, the mother DN Marie once told her that Lash told her that quote. He was half alien, half man, and he was a hybrid, and he was a high security operative for a government agency that we don't know about. And the only thing that I can think of that would be higher than the CIA is the DA. There's also a man who came forth and sent us a picture and he said, Bob worked with
the DIA in nineteen ninety six. What's the DIA The Department of Defense Intelligence Agency?
Oh oh, oh, okay, yeah, it's like.
The CIA, but for the right, like bigger, yeah, for the military. More So, I had to follow up on this, right, being a diligent journalist, I asked well, wait, someone emailed you and told you Bob worked for the DIA, And so she told me, yes, under a different name, it wasn't Jeffrey Lash. The man came forward from another agency that deals with extraterrestrials and things like that. And what I got out of my conversation with Bob was that
he was working on aliens. But you can't find any information online about Bob or Catherine, just what their parents did. That seems very odd to me.
Like, here's the thing. When I hear crazy stories like this, I always have to take a pause and be like, what if it's true?
Yes, right there you go. That's how I do it. I always like to keep open the potential of like, well why not. Yeah, it's a much more interesting world alive. Bit So I asked her, do you think he is a secret Black Ops half alien spot? She thought a moment, and then she told me I thought about this for a long time. Either he believed this one hundred percent or he's one hundred percent sociopath. It's one or the other. There is no third way.
Well he believed it when.
Yes, so she was yeah, exactly so, mostly though, she's just worried about her adopted daughter, because she in MINDA Marie is still missing at this point. So she had sent that one suspicious hand letter from Sacramento. But at this point when I talked to her, she's only heard from the police in Oregon. So and she may be an adoptive mother, but she's still a mother. She still
got a mother's full concern, so adopt this exactly. So she was worried that Da Marie was hiding out, perhaps from some secret government agency.
Anyway, you got to go to the Pacific Northwest or something like that.
She may know too much. She's probably hiding up there with Bigfoot. So Catherine de bron Goren at this point resurfaces. She comes back to La she finds her fiance's dead body in the suv. She calls her lawyer, he calls the LAPD. And clearly she's not hiding from anyone. So what's the story there, or she is hiding she's bad at it. But her lawyer told the press that his client quote still very much believes that her dead fiance
was working with the CIA. So the LAPD is quick to determine there was no foul play.
Why is the lawyer making public state he doesn't need.
Doesn't need to. I don't I do not know. I think he just likes talking to the press anyway. Since there's no murder for them to investigate the LAPD, he's like, well, we're just gonna focus on the booby trapped condo and all those guns and the storage and its Yeah, now, your people, Elizabeth the web Slute, they stay on this case and the guns because the guns they had for probate court. Which brings us to Jeffrey Allen, Lash's lawyer. Okay,
his name Bob Rentzer. He was Lash's on call lawyer for roughly a decade, and in fact, he'd been called into action with a time or two before in the past when Jeffrey all and Lash ran into some trouble with the law.
He's actual Bob.
Yeah. So there was this burglary back in the day and all of Jeffrey all and Lash's guns were stolen. He was distraught. He filed a police report, and then he filed an insurance claim. Then the company paid out on all of his guns. But then the LAPD started to find his guns at different raids and crime scenes and they collected them and then they returned the guns as they were recovered. And then this is where the
story takes another weird turn. But rather than me tell you about Elizabeth, I'd like you to close your eyes and I'd like you to picture it.
Well.
It's a call morning at the Lost Hill Station of the LA Sheriff's Department, and you, Elizabeth, have been transferred from the Flying Squad in London and are doing an immersive exchange with the LA Sheriff's Department as part of a pilot program. At the moment, DCI Dutton, you are seated in the lobby of the Lost Hill Station waiting
for your liaison officer to arrive. So you flip through a two year old copy of law Man magazine as you wait, But you hear this tremendous promotion outside, and being curious as you are, you pop up out of the uncomfortable seat and take a short walk over to the sliding glass doors. A slide apart and you step through to the outside. The desert air greets you. It's dry, Chris. You're filled with the sounds of men working unloading a truck.
Perhaps You walk around the corner through an open gate into a police yard where you spy inmates from the detention facility at the sheriff station busy loading a truck with what looks to be hundreds of guns. The inmates are under the watch of a few Sheriff's deputies, each one of them tot's a shotgun. The inmates move in an or procession, walking back and forth between the open back of the truck in the crates of the guns on the loading dock of the sheriff station. You wonder yourself,
fly me, that's a mess of firearms. The guns are wrapped in wax paper. They're sealed. You can't actually see the guns. But what else is gun? Shaped like that? Over your shoulder, you sense some movement and see the approach of two men. One is a rumpled lawyer, the kind you find in an office and a half abandoned strip mall in the valley. The other, you assume is his client or his maybe his junior partner, due to
the fact that he never speaks. The lawyer walks into the seat, his client trailing after him, and you hear the lawyer ask, are those my client's firearms you're loading? A sheriff deputy calls over and says that they'll be done loading them soon and that they can drive them home or do whatever his client wants with his arsenal. You study this man, the client. He doesn't look back at you. Instead, he's just hyper focused on his guns. You can see his jaw kind of clench. He's pissed.
It's something. All you can tell is that something ain't right with this guy. His lawyer turns back to quietly confer with his client, But standing where you are, you're close enough to hear what is said as his words kind of drift over to you, carried by that desert breeze. The lawyer tells his client that those are all your guns, not one is missing. But the client is still staring at the deputies handling his weapons. He replies, to clenched teeth,
there's one that's unwrapped. Look at it. To my mind, that destroys the pristine, original condition of the firearm. It's been spoiled. You silently wonder yourself, is this guy the most American guy there? Ever?
Is?
Elizabeth? What you just witnessed was Jeffrey Allen lash having his stolen guns returned to him. But if you can believe that the La Sheriffs would come back and take his guns again. Oh yes, but anyway, let to take a little break and after these home baked ads, we'll get to the truth of this mystery. Nice and we're back, Elizabeth, Yes we are. So how you joined this one so far? I love this right because in all these directions you don't know where it's We'll see if we can land this bad boy.
Please.
All right, I know you don't go in for the woo woo quite like I do, but you are open minded, right, yeah, you will entertain it nearly as long as I will. So I got to ask a question for you. How much did Jeffrey Allen Lash love those guns?
I would say a lot, Yeah.
Right, little worrisome, Yeah, the teeth clenching. They're like, don't touch my guns are not pristine. I mean, dude's like not right.
Well, he's like the kind of people who have like the figurines in the box.
Oh yeah, yeah, totally. But if the figurine could kill like thirty people, well some cans. Now remember how you were there when he had them returned to him his guns and he got all weird bad right because I touched the bear wood skin or whatever the.
Guns were at various places. They weren't all in one location.
Yeah, they had to be collected and given back, but.
They were able to get all of them. Apparently, that's weird.
Yeah. So the insurance company they had paid out on these stolen guns, right, so when they find out that Lash got his stolen guns back, the insurance company is like, bro, that's fraud. So they filed charges against Lash. So what does that mean. It means the sheriff deputy you have to come back out and seizeon and pound all of his guns again. And you know how that's gonna go. He hated that, I say so. Now, dropping back into
this ongoing saga of stolen is seze guns. His lawyer, the real Bob Bob Rentzer, swans back in like a legal superhero from a strip mall, and he helps Lash navigate the many intricacies of the La County courts. He gets the fraud charges dismissed, He gets the guns returned to Lash yet again. Now, after that whole stolen gun debacle and getting it returned and then taking in returned and so forth, Lash is now worried that people are gonna take his gun. So yeah, this is probably when
he starts booby trapping condos anyway. Yeah, but he was a super spy guy. Why did he have to go through the open court to get his guns back?
That's a good well, you know, you don't want to draw sure, but.
It seems like kind of a strike against him being part of a super secret black OPA team. So, just like with Don Marie's adoptive mother, since I have Lash's lawyer on the phone, I asked him, what was this dad like to deal with personally? Yeah, Renzer told me it was very, very nice to me. He wasn't demanding at all, very friendly. In fact, he'd been to the house several times. He was always welcome at the house. I tell you we had an attorney client relationship. We
also had a very cordial, friendly relationship. We would go out to dinner together. I was friends with his father. That's how I met Jeff Okay. I asked where the money came from? Did you know the dad right?
Exactly?
The lawyer, He explained, I had no idea he was getting his money. He didn't never appear to have a job like he was always available at all times during the day. It was never like also you after work. I don't think he ever used that word work in any of our conversations. Huh, So, what about the big question? Was this dude a half alien, half human eivor or not? Bob, So, over the phone, I asked him that. He laughed at me, Elizabeth, He's like, I'm a lawyer, come on, brother. I was like, Bro,
I have to and he was like all right. So when I did ask him and he decided to answer, he said no. And if he was, he would have told me that's ridiculous, son. They never would file criminal charges on him or any of his cases. If he were a government agent, they would have brought disciplinary proceedings against him when that case was filed criminally against him for the insurance rod. So we got a pretty good answer there.
Yeah.
So I said, well, what was he really like then, Bob? And he's like, well, a bright, average ordinary guy with an extraordinary interest in guns. Yeah. I'd say five million dollars worth of guns qualifies as more than an extraordinary interest. Yeah, maybe obsessive. Anyway, he chalked all this obsession on guns to a complex human emotion. You know what that human emotion was? Elizabeth Renser says, how do you explain love. Oh gun, he loved guns. You can't explain love. It's
an emotional feeling. It's so true, Elizabeth. You can't explain love.
Especially when it's an inanimate object.
Yeah, and some men they would love guns like other people love puppies, you know. And that second may be the key to underwinding this mystery. But according to his fiance, Catherine lebron, Gorn's lawyer, Lash, remember I told you stash guns all around the LA basin, so it's just the ones they found. And he also said that he likely paid the rent on them for at least ten years in advance, which means sometime about next year, quite possibly, a bunch of storage units in LA will come up
for auction. So some lucky buyer out there might win an arsenal of guns, maybe some amphibious assault vehicles or a bulletproof suv.
Who knows.
Good luck La County. But that mystery we will have to wait on. Anyway. The mystery we can solve today was Jeffrey Allen Lash, a shape shifting half alien, half human hybrid superspy guy for a secret black ops government program. Hell, that's a mouthful. It is to answer that we need to introduce a new character, a mysterious blonde woman Elizabeth.
As reporters interviewed the neighbors, and me being one of them, the story came out about how every night a mysterious blond woman would pull up in a Mercedes ben in front of the booby trapped condo townhouse, the one of the Pacific Palisades. The mysterious blonde, as I said, every night, and she'd show up. Her car has no license plate, just like Jeffrey al and Lash's car always had no license plate, had no license never, never for years.
So they came down from Oakland exactly.
But every six months he would go get a new least Mercedes or whatever and then just do the things.
It style.
So each night, though, this woman in the Mercedes with no license plates, she'd drop off a green trash bag on the front steps of the condo every night, every night, full of what's in the bag?
The bag?
Elizabeth, So I wondered about this little detail. It was like, every night, why is a mysterious blonde dropping off a trash bag? Is it drugs? Is it money? Is it ammo? So it couldn't be very heavy because the mystery blonde didn't look all that strong for the people who saw My guess was money or drugs? Yeah, maybe cancer drugs, maybe more all natural health food supplements. Well, after Lash died, the green bag ritual stopped, so there was certainly some connection,
right the bags wore for him. The mystery blonde who is she? Well, it wasn't Catherine lebron Goren and it wasn't don Marie Vadbunker. The mystery blonde though she did have a lawyer, so she lawyered up and she wouldn't answer questions from her reporter anyway. The mysterious blonde woman's name is Michelle Lyons. Okay, and Jeffrey Allen. Lash was apparently in a complicated love triangle. Michelle Lyons is the
owner of a lucrative computer consulting firm that works with lawyers. Right, so it means, just like Catherine de bron Gorn, she also has money. So she gave this money freely over to Lash so he could enjoy his great love of guns.
Oh Man.
Now, her lawyer estimates that over the years, Lions gave Lash about a million dollars. What Yeah, because she wanted Lash to feel the love. Yeah, and she and he kept his relationship separate from her and didn't tell Catherine de bron Goren about it. And that's who's condo he lived in by the way in Pacific Palisades with Catherine debron Goran.
So she just lived there.
She had all the real estates. So she's like, oh, she lived there too with her.
She lived there too. And then this lady's dropping off god knows every night.
Yes, And so I was like, did they know about each other? I think they'd be pissed. But apparently Michelle Lyons knew that Lash lived with Catherine lebron Goren. She just didn't care because you know, she was convinced that that was his roommate and business partner. Okay, And so she's like, oh, yeah, they just lived together. Yeah, they're just you.
Know, I'm giving him millions of dollars.
He has a roommate, totally full grown adults who lived together in a townhouse their business partners.
Elizabeth, did did Catherine know about the blonde? Oh?
Yeah, I'll get to that in a second, but first I feel like I should answer your question about the green bags. Yeah, what's in the green bags?
I don't know.
You were right it was all food. It was it was the raw meat that he liked to eat. It was all the meals that Lash would need for the next day.
Meal prepped him.
Yeah, meat totally in a trash bag. And she had known Lions, had known him first. She had been cool with him for thirty one years, thirty one. For thirty one years, Elizabeth, And for thirty one years, she never took a vacation, so she would always be available to him if he needed to her to bring him his daily bread or whatever. Thirty one years, no vacation day. She took care of him every day for thirty one years. As he got sick, I think then she started bringing.
Him there yeahs of food, but was just always on call for thirty one years.
And as you were wondering did they know about each other, Lions and lebron Goren both knew about each other. But more than that, they spoke on the phone every day. Every day they talked, and.
So they just thought the other was just a pal.
Yes, they were both convinced that the other one was just like his galpal, his girl Friday. So so for a decade at least, both of these women believe that they are the super spy guy's one true love and that the other one is just his business partner. And he tells them just don't ever bring up what we got and they don't. So because he demanded they keep his secret safe lifestyle. I got to keep my super spy guy's secret safe. And he's like, shuah, no problem.
So anyway, the cover story works for this decade, these you're rich women keep buying this guy guns. He gets up to twelve hundred guns, and however many are in the storage units. And uh, you know. Also, by the way, I found out, Jeffrey all and Lash had no money of his own. Of course, he did not inherit money from his microbiologist father. He had a cult leader's ability to convince these women to pay for his dreams. Wow. So yeah, not only did that he collect guns, he
also was just a collector in general. So when they got inside and the police got inside the townhouse, they found a collection of fifty thousand DVDs and another sixty thousand CDs and figures. So what are his favorites? I knew you'd want to know.
I'd like to do it. Point break, No, did not have did you know that? Point Break came out in nineteen aety one.
Thank you for telling me that, I'd like to keep that at the four of my mind. So apparently he was really into early two thousands justin Timberlake. He was very glad when Justin brought the Sexy back. Oh my god, yeah, because it fits with this guy, because on his bookshelf for all these books by pickup artists, he's that guy. So he'd use psychological war games against these women all his life, basically conning them into aiding his obsessions.
He didn't think it was weird. It like he had all these books.
Yeah, apparently they weren't looking at his bookshelf so they didn't notice. He was like this amateur pimp trying to buy an arsenal with their money. And then one day, obviously he died. So that's when all this like the cult leader like hold he has on them, it comes apart, right, But he'd prepared them for the moment of his death. So when he died, Catherine Debron Gorn as I told you, she wrapped his body and blankets, hauled his dead body into the suv where she loaded it down with bags
of dry eyes. Then she grabbed Don Marie and they cut right. No secret blacks off. Super Spy agency comes to retrieve the body. So, now faced with the reality of his rotting Corpselebron Goron has to call her lawyer when she gets back and she's like, can you make this go away? Meanwhile, she goes and she hides her assistant who did know too much and she was worried that she may talk not about super spy guy's secrets, shape shifting aliens. She just knew too much about what
was going down in this condo. Yeah, like, oh, she's a liability.
So he told her that he he says to the Catherine, when I die, that is the most agent of chaos move and I love it.
I thought that'd be going in your will, some weird thing you've got to do, like it involves chemistry and like blankets.
It's body in an suv and the Feds will come get it. One last, last, one, last agent of chaos moment.
So the La County Coroner's office, right, they eventually release autopsy report. Okay, yeah, and as if they wanted to keep the flames of conspiracy theories going, no cause of death was listed. Oh interesting, And also they did not list if he was a half alien human hybrid or not. They didn't clear that up, so yeah, but there you have it. So Jeffrey Allen lash he's this charming, delusional, exploitative con man who convinces people he was an alien superspy.
Some how, this cover story works for more than a decade to afford him one of the nicest lives I've heard about in a long time, and one of the most expensive places to live in the world. He got to entertain his obsessions, he got to go and like you know, eat well, he got out, had a lot of love being thrown at him. He was just bumping some justin Timberlake whenever.
He wanted feeling it.
So anyway, all these people, they somehow decided to express their love for each other in guns, which.
Is just yea, that is weird to me.
Think they're all like, I love you, here's money for a gun. Oh, I love you, Thank you for the gun. So in the end, Elizabeth, there's really not much mystery to this one. It's one of the most terrestrial stories you'll ever hear. Yeah, man emotionally manipulates others to pay for his paranoia and arm himself for a war that never comes. It's about a human of a story you ever hear. So it's a ridiculous takeaway here, Elizabeth, oh Man.
I think that, you know, sometimes we find ourselves in situations and you're so deep into it that you can't see how preposterous things yes, And then it's like if you tell someone actually, hear the words coming out of your mouth, not that I've ever been in that such hear the words coming out of your mouth, and you're like each word, You're like, oh my god.
Okay, now I hear.
It, now I hear it. Now. Yeah. So I you know, I we we look at these ladies and we're like, what in the you know? But like, I mean, this is a severe case of it. And I feel like they heard it out loud and still were like, yep, a lizard.
Boyfriend, gotta keep a secret, keep it safe.
Aaron, what's ridiculous takeaway?
Oh Man? Let me just luxuriate in this moment, right. I don't have one, Okay, so there you go, makes sense. Yeah, actually I do have one, tiny one, yeah, which is like I think that, uh, money is a really interesting thing because you give it to people and they rarely seem to do anything to help themselves or make the world better. They just do weird stuff, and they do controlling things, and they do like, oh, wish fulfillment. Like when I was a kid, I never could have this.
I'm gonna go get this. But it's never like, hey, I'm gonna go help these people. I mean, like, I know there are people who are like that, but they don't tend to be the ones who get the money. It's the these people who are like, I'm gonna get money. I'm like, what'd you do with it? I bought a bunch of guns.
I never used well that it was a twelve hundred guns. You're not on.
Fire all them. You probably didn't touch all of them.
No, And it's like it's not for I mean maybe one is for home.
Protection too, Yeah, you only have two hands.
But the rest it's like, what are you what? Yeah, yeah, I guess it's it's a collector.
Thirty mm I got an invader. No, that's a thirty And I've.
Said I don't understand collector mindset, and but at the same and like I can get like if you have a couple things, sure, but twelve hundred of anything. I don't care if it's guns, anything.
Anything that's not rice. I'm like, dude, you got a problem.
That's well.
As always, we appreciate you listening to us, But before we go, should we do a talkback? Elizabeth?
Yes? Please?
All right, pretty you can hit us up with the talkback. Oh my god, I w.
What's up?
Elizabeth Zaren and producer d. This is Caitlin from Madison, Wisconsin. I just heard you mentioned the pickle witch at Jimmy Jones and I had to stop what I was doing and go get one. My first observation is it is cold to the touch, as you might imagine. It's a pickle on the outside instead of bread. I'm about to try it and I'll let you know how it is. Hey, guys, it's Kaitlin testing the pickle Witch Part two. It is as you might expect, very juicy. I now have pickle
juice all over my jeans. But it's not about alternative. If you don't want bread, why not have a pickle instead of lettuce? It was quite tasty. I must say I liked it. Thanks for the show. Love listening to you guys. Hope you're doing great. Love from the Midwest.
Bye, Hey, Caitlin, come on now, you're amazing.
That great taking one for the team seriously.
And I love that. It's like cold and damp, but it is. It is a curious tempted.
I would try one. Probably have to not have pickle juice on my jeans because that'd be a bit weird for me.
He's such a trooper.
I appreciate.
It's amazing and I love her well.
As always, you can find us online at Ridiculous Crime on the social media's and now we're on blue Sky, so check that out. And we have our website ridiculous Crime dot com where we have lots of new merch if you need something to hold your hot beverages or to cozy your up to your body. Also, we love your talkbacks obviously, so please go the iHeart app download it, leave a voice message for us there and perhaps you
will hear your voice here. And of course you can email us if you like it, Ridiculous Crime at gmail dot com. As always, start the email Dear producer d thanks for listening. We will catch you next crime. Ridiculous Crime is hosted by Elizabeth Dutton and Zaron Burnett, produced and edited by Skinny Bob's long lost soul brother Fuzzy Dave Dave Houston and starring Annals Rutger as Judith. Research is by Amphibious Vehicle Collectors Marissa Brown and Andrea Song
Sharpened Tear. Our theme song is by Our Bulletproof house Band, the Super Spy Guys Thomas Lee and Travis Dunn. The host wardrobe provided by Botany five hundred. Guest hair and makeup by Sparkleshaw and mister Andrada. Executive producers are Ben I'm from a Galaxy Far Far Away Bowlin and Noel Time Bandits is an underrated movie Brown.
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