Ridiculous Crime is a production of Iheartradioy Elizabeth Dutton.
I'm good, okay, well quite frankly, I'm good. How about you?
How are you not good? Bob? No, I'm just kidding. I just like to say that I do have a question for you. You know what's ridiculous?
I do fifth degree theft, and I'm just kidding. What's ridiculous is okay? You know how like you go on you know how you go on vacation sometimes, Oh yeah, I have done You've done.
That a long time ago, and I've done that. It's a new thing, but I've been doing that.
And you know, people buy souvenirs and you're like a collector guys, I like, do you get souvenirs?
I sometimes buy souvenirs, like yeah, But oftimes I will just I have to admit this. I'll like grab a rock and keep a rock.
Oh yeah, I've done that.
I try not to take something really pretty.
But I'm a little Yeah, I do that. I usually get try and get a magnet.
That's dope. That's fun. But I'm on the side of the that's totally fun.
My mom gets mugs and so sometimes vacation and rub it in her face by getting her a mug.
She loves that collection of face rubs.
And if they have you know what I love. They don't seem to have him around very much anymore. Match Books, Oh yeah, I've got a lot of Yeah, I have a lot from like old fool.
Restaurants, old bars.
Yeah, me too, So match books. I've never been to Lake Como in Italy.
Lives there.
Yeah, I mean he's invited me so many times.
It's very, very deep that lake.
No, it's about three feet deep. It's the whole thing.
No, it's ridiculous. It's really shallows three.
Feet at the center. And George is like, Elizabeth, you got to come out. And I'm like, I haven't got over. Have a busy on the go lifestyle many and anyway. But I was like thinking about it, like if I went to Lake Como and I waded out to the middle of the thing, what souvenir would I get myself?
What what souvenir from my trip to from from the middle of the lake, or just to remember your.
Time in general? Maybe aside from like George klean.
About how about a hand painted wine bottle?
Oh my god, sure they do so no Zaren.
That's not what I would.
Go to one of the you know, handful of shops they have les are in Como is a little shop. I don't know.
It's something of the.
But there's a handful in that sell a very specific souvenir and it's one hundred authentic from Lake Como. Oddly enough, the can is in English. Okay, it's a can of Lake Como air. What fresh air trapped in a can? I mean, they're kind of cool looking cans.
Right, WHOA they've been doing that from Canada.
Yeah, there's a Canada, does it? They actually in just after World War Two in Naples, Napoli, there was a guy who was taking old US war ration cans and saying it's air from Naples and selling it. So yeah, but like this, they don't sell it online. You have to go, I mean, come on, otherwise, what's the point. Yeah, and you can just crack it and huff it, and it's got all the same qualities, all the ingredients that listen like ninety eight percent nitrogen et cetera, et cetera.
But then so one breath of air, but then point.
Zero zero zero zero zero zero one percent of it of it lake Como secret formula?
Is that on the can?
Yeah? Really, it's right here. Look I don't have the can at the website. And you know what that is?
What is that?
That is one George Clooney Pubican. Oh god, and that, my friends, that's ridiculous.
There's a lot of things.
It's a lot going on right there.
You know what else is ridiculous besides that? Tell me performance enhancing drugs?
Oh? I thought you're still talking about the can.
No, I'm leaving that fast behind. We were talking recently, you me, producer, do you about microdosing PCP?
Right?
This is kind of like the opposite of that.
I say microdose everything? Why not a little bit here there?
Yeah, it's tiny bits? How could it hurt? But you know, like in some sports, right, people take drugs to cheat, like crack. Well, yes, gif you're the eighty six mets, But like for other people, it's like steroids, blood doping.
Epo let's epos.
I had him to a second.
It's a is it made of crickets?
I believe it's an enzyme and it helps with the blood absorption of oxygen.
I take digestive enzymes. Is that? What that is?
Very similar, but there's also the clear in the cream. Remember berry bonds Berry, Yeah, exactly. Well, there have been a lot of stories we know of athletes using a chemical advantage. Lance Armstrong comes to mind. Right, most of these stories aren't ridiculous. Some of them obviously are totally But today, Elizabeth, I have a story for you about a guy who, uh, well, he entered a magic the Gathering tournament and he competed. Elizabeth. He's a he's an
E sports athlete or whatever I guess get tabletop sports athlete. Anyway, he did this well high on psychedelic mushrooms. My god, that was his performance and anting drugs. Now, some folks may not count magic mushrooms as a performance anting drug, but just you wait, this is ridiculous crime a podcast, aboubsurd and outrageous capers, heists and cons always ninety nine percent murder free and one percent ridiculous.
All right, Zaren, I am now convinced that you have been putting together a.
List all the things in the world that irritate and cringe me out because you said magic gathering an e sports and now I'm just gonna you tell the story.
I'm going to keep ripping my hair out, and and people on shrooms doing it, you know, doing it to like get over on other people like you and magic and chaos. I'm all shroom.
I like agents of chaos. Oh my god, Daren.
Gathering un I think you know, it's it's ridiculous to watch if they do these things that they do. When I say the words that I say, Have you ever eaten magic mushrooms? Elizabeth sideways on shrooms?
I know there's like a church here in Oakland.
Do they get a sacrament? They have it?
Yeah, they have around the law candy bars and stuff.
Yeah, but they usually put it in chocolate because it doesn't taste good. Oh really, yeah, I've eaten my fair share, sure you have. I liked them at first. They were dope. They were fun. Sometimes it was super laughy.
You know.
The times is like you know, of hilarious or other times it's very sensual, like you have visual distortions, auditory hallucinations. Music gets extra lush, uh, fabrics, materials. They become that mesmerizing.
It's it's interesting, right and into a delicious portobello mushroom sandwich.
Yeah, just give you this just a little, a little, a little more, just a little extra maybe that if it was rotten, like if it was bad, maybe we can get close. But honestly, Elizabeth, I don't really like mushrooms. I don't do shrooms anymore. They make my stomach sick.
So that I know, I've yea.
I spent my first three hours basically doubled over and paying.
Going sensitive tummy to begin with.
Yes, I do, yes, but for me, it's like, hey, give me LSD now we're talking. But I'm not advocating for anybody else, right, But Elizabeth, do you know the history of people getting twisted on that?
I would imagine it goes back to like the druids foraging around and digging up into cow poop.
Is even older than that.
I imagine it would go back to the caveman like hopping on a wooly mammoth. I imagine it.
Went back to hold my fire stick. So it turns out streams were one of the first drugs we ever liked. Right, Our first and oldest drug of choice was pot, Like we've been dealing with pot forever, yeah, but then we got into beer like around four thousand years ago, huh. But with shrooms we started doing that about. It depends
on where you look. There's there's rock art in Algeria that shows people eating shrooms and getting twisted, and that dates to about seven thousand, nine thousand BC, which would put that at about nine thousand to eleven thousand years ago, almost three times as long as we've been or two times depending how you count it, as long as we've been drinking beer beer.
Now.
There's also rock art in Spain that suggests mushrooms were a key component of ancient religion rituals, so like some of our like our caveman religions. Right, so this was a four thousand BC, right, so about six thousand years ago. But the real champion mushroom chewers out there are found in Mexico, Central America, and in North America up in here the Pacific Northwest. They got a bus right now,
there's the Aztec. They had this word and I will probably pronounce this incorrectly, but I will try tao nut coal. I can try that faster ten nutscle. Anyway, it literally means the divine mushroom. And I apologize for my pronunciation. I'm terrible at that. But the Spanish conquistars when they arrived. The monks. They documented how they are all these mushroom meeting folks, and they had these strange effects when they
eat these mushrooms. And they had no experience with this because even though there were cave arts in Spain, they'd forgotten all about this because of religion. Right, So they're like, what are they doing? So these men of God they chalk up the effects of this mushroom, of course, to communion with the demons and the devils.
They're just jamming out on Mexican loops hours sitting there in a cozy curta.
The conquistitter's coming along. What's the meaning of this? So the mushrooms they get banned as the drug of pagans, shamans and other idolators. Right, So this doesn't stop people from getting wicked with the shrooms. So it keeps going, keeps going. Eventually, in the eighteen hundreds, European scientists finally discover the mushrooms. They're like, hey, wait a minute, what is this?
What?
What?
There's an interesting memorable introduction though, because one of the first scientists to discover the we'll say the psychedelic aspects of the mushroom did so by accident. So there's this man in London. He was accidentally serving magic mushrooms to his family for breakfast. I'm guessing about forty minutes later, the family was having the strangest morning of their natural born lives.
In an actual English fry up.
Exactly like the beans are moving. So if someone had to call for a doctor, as they called themselves at the time, an apothecary. Right, because this is seventeen ninety nine, Okay, right, this gets written up in the London Medical and Physical journals.
They got like high heel shoes of buckle, big buckle, baby.
So this apothecary went to work to save the family from their hallucinations and delusions and so forth. The youngest boy, he's the most difficult to come around, right, he and I found this. They said he had loved eating. He he was just nibbling. So this kid, he apparently quote was attacked with fits of immoderate laughter, nor could the
threats of his father or mother refrain him. So yeah, they're threatening him with the buckle belts and the shoes and they're like we will beat you with an into your life. Stop laughing, boy, he can't stop it. It's the mushrooms. So after that early introduction magic mushrooms, they pretty much mostly remain a Meso American drug. Right, it doesn't really bubble up because they're like, I don't want my boy gibbering like an idiot like that, So it
doesn't It's not like cocaine. When they discover it, they're like, now this is a good drug.
So I would imagine that they would they would equate it with the you know, sort of liked being possessed. Yeah, and so that it's not you know, when they get all coked up in they acts not.
Good for business, you know, I mean really Western drug takers for the most it's either you want escapist or you want good for business. So it's cocaine, caffeine, or it's like you know, heroin and pot.
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
So anyway, nineteen fifty five, a paaras scientist, they attend an indigenous mushroom ceremony in Mexico. They document it all because they're scientists or ethnobiologists, and they write up the story of their time in the jungle and about getting twisted in. The stories and photos they get published in Life magazine. In nineteen fifty seven, Elizabeth. Can you guess who just happened to read that Life magazine article? And we go on to change the world because of it.
Just imagine them, like, I don't know, in a dentist's office picking up an old copy. What is this?
Thomas P Magic, Founder, the Magic, the Gathering carts.
No Timothy Leary?
Oh okay.
So he reads this Life magazine all about the mushroom rituals in Mexico and he's like, huh, how soon can I get down to Old Mexico Way? And of course he bounces down there and he finds the mushrooms. He eats a bunch, flips his lid, loves it, opens his head up, airs it out right, let's the Holy Universe come rushing in. He's like, oh my god, I'm a psych go not and then he goes back to the US.
Newborn psychonot goes back to Harvard, where he is a professor, right right, young professor though, so he and his partner Richard Alpert, they start the Harvard Psilocybin Project, like we're going to study this scientifically, even though just don't talk to Tim too much about it, right, So at this point it's totally legal to experiment with mushrooms. Nobody has the rules about this, right, this is nineteen sixty ish. The rules will come around sixty four to sixty five.
They'll make it illegal sixty eight I think. Anyway, the point being mushrooms and payoty all that stuff is basically illegal, so they're playing around. Timothy Leary starts giving prisoners magic mushrooms to see if it helps them, like remake who they are, like it happened to him down in Mexico, right, So six months after that he finds that shrooms did in fact help the prisoners. Recidivism falls by forty percent.
Interesting.
I thought that was interesting.
I've heard a lot about, you know, people treating complex PTSD totally it, and it's fascinating to me this notion of how you kind of rewire them.
Reset a lot of the connections, revalue and rewait some of them.
I've never done any psychedelics or hallucinogens because I'm so afraid that I'll lose my mind and not be able to get back there.
Actually is a moment the first time you do it where you go well, I always think like this, Yes, almost everybody has that moment and the answer is No.
I am like a hairline fracture away from just losing it and already, and I don't need that PoTA cup cract.
So at this point we have Timothy Leary, right, and he's like, who else can I give these mushrooms to besides the prisoners? So he starts going, well, grad students there, they have to listen to me. So he gets these grad students from the Divinity Program, that second program of like, let me give these mushrooms to these people. See how it plays out. Doesn't go so well, right, because these people they're not prisoners, they're like grad students. So they
write their own records. They think it's controversy, Elizabeth. It blows up in their face. Both Larry and Richard Alpert. They get kicked out of Harvard, right, So they lose their prestigious jobs. Now we're in nineteen sixty three. Can know what happens next? Tim Leary goes west, launches this acadelic revolution in California. We've talked about that bus, the Brotherhood of the Eternal Love, right, Okay, so back to mushrooms.
The next big pioneer is inspired by Larry Terrence McKenna right in sixty seven, he's in Berkeley, he's a student at cal He's heard all about this, and that's where he decides to get into his quote opium and cabal phase. So, in other words, he starts studying Tibetan folk religion and smoking opium. Then he decides to travel to Jerusalem and see, like how those ancients got high in the desert. Right, So then he's like, it's good. Sixty nine, he bounces over to ne Pall see how people get high in
the Himalayan planes? Right, He's like, hey, what are you shaman smoking? Right? So then at this point he's like, oh, how do I afford all this? I'm just this student bumbling around. He's like, okay, I'll get into drug smuggling, which seems like that's the move in the late sixties, I think. So everyone's like, oh, I want to see more of this world. I'll get into drug smuggling.
Right. It's great, you know, and you can pick up all sorts of souvenirs, you.
Meet interesting people, you know. So he gets involved, just like the Brotherhood Eternal Love in terms of moving various, like the product is hashish opium. Everything out of that part of the world right out of the Afghanistan and so forth.
Right.
So now he gets caught with one of his loads by US customs. So he's like, oh, I need to get out of here. He needs a new gig. He ditches out and he goes down to Indonesia where he becomes a butterfly collector. Oh yeah, so he's basically living one of those epic baby boomer lives like you just couldn't do unless you are a baby boomer. You have jet travel, you gotta have a there's a certain window where there just like bounce around the world. Yeah. Then I became a butterfly collector.
But it's like his consciousness was expanded. Oh totally, he collects.
But once again, the baby boomer thing, they were the first ones to kind of like really go off. I mean, before this you have William william S Burrow's doing his stuff. I mean you have previous generation of the beats, you know. But really the hippies I want to are like go make tramp into the jungle and bring my brother. Right. Well, anyway,
his mother, Terrace McKenny. His mother passes away, so he has to return to America after all his drug smuggling bouncing around the world collecting butterflies and mushrooms, and then he goes with his brother back to the nation of Columbia because like, okay, we got mother in the ground. Hey, brother, let's bounce out. I'm gonna show you this world. Right Totally, his mind's of wide open, Elizabeth, you pointed out. So
he's like, let me go open my brother's mind. So they go tramping off in the jungle and they try DMT. You've heard about DMT. It's like a super strong psychedelic. Then they also try magic mushrooms, and that totally is their thing. They're like, Okay, this one's out of all this stuff we've tried. This is the thing. So he gets heavy into that and he decides that mushrooms will be the key to unlocking the Jugian collective unconscious of humanity. Okay,
oh yeah, the great symbolic world mind, Elizabeth. The mushrooms, he decides, is the magic material that the alchemists were after that would unlock the Philosopher's stone.
Maybe.
Yeah. He hears this voice, Producer, d you may know about this from some of your religious readings. He hears the voice of Logos, which he then calls the teaching voice.
Oh yeah, the word from God, the very exactly logos is the word. It's the all spark from transformers.
Is it's word up.
So he's basically got God whispering in his ear through the mushrooms, Elizabeth. So at this point we're deep in the jungle. He gets all the way out of there. The early seventies, he returns to Berkeley. They let him finish back his studies because again, baby Boomer, that's how it was for them. He graduates with a degree, publishes
a book, publishes another, launches this whole mushroom revolution. Now that we live in where people are actually considering turning mushrooms into a treatment for as you pointed out, complex PTSD. So these two kooks lead to this point where people are going to be like, hey, I may have some alleviation for my suffering God bless see. Yeah, now do you have a different view of magic room?
I have.
It.
I'm fascinated by it. Okay, I terrified for myself, but fascinated for others. Okay, interesting, Yeah, I don't think negatively.
Let's take a little break. When we get back, I'll introduce you to magic. The gathering and we see how long this good will carry over?
That that's the line, Elizabeth Zaren, we're back.
Hi, how are you feeling so good?
So?
Didn't you always worry? Like Zaren? Where is is this a crime? I want you to know that magic mushrooms they are right now going through a part of legalization where people are trying to legalize them. Right so I looked into it. Or again they passed that initiative to legalize it for mental health treatments. That was twenty twenty.
Twenty twenty two, Colorado voted to decriminalize magic mushrooms. Currently in the our assembling California, they are looking to legalize a bunch of psychedelics, not just magic mushrooms, but lsd MDMA, DMD, mescaline, ibogaine. They're going nuts over there in California.
I think in Oakland proper, I guess there's a law about how I.
Didn't look at the civic Yeah, down to the cities. But yes, that we have decriminalized it.
From what I have, yes, it's that you can't sell it, but possession of the spores is legal.
Exactly so, But in all but two states it's still illegal to have mushrooms. So everything we're talking about here, these are criminals, Elizabeth. I just wanted to make that clear.
Okay.
So now the DA they will describe I haven't described mushrooms for you, so I thought i'd let the experts do it. Please do the DA will describe mushrooms thusly, in a really dry way. Mushrooms containing psilocybin are available fresh or dried, and have long, slender stems topped by caps with dark gills on the underside. Fresh mushrooms have white or whitish gray stems. The caps are dark brown around the edges, in light brown or white in the center.
Dried mushrooms are usually rusty brown with isolated areas of off white. Did that help you at all? Not really? Not really right? Especially it's like light colored mushrooms wh they're dried right.
Well, it kind of sounds like I had like this huge mushroom outbreak in my raised beds over the winter of the summer.
I remember you t tolding me about it.
Like oyster mushrooms. There was a size of a dinner plate.
They were insane for you.
What if they were magic?
Oh my god, you can be getting sideways.
I would i'd have like five million dollars.
You could have gotten your whole block sideways. Yep, Like you went to five million dollars, I went to your whole block. Now, typically with mushrooms, I don't know if you know this, you eat them, right, I would assume, so you can also drink. You can drink them as a tea, okay, right, you can even usually you'd noticed with chocolates, so with other foods. My friend Chris So once put magic mushrooms on a slice of pizza and didn't tell me about it, and then I ate those.
He had a great time laughing at me will waiting for me to start tripping. And then I tripped in his in his house with him sober and me by myself, just going off tripping, and we had a great but rascal. This is the same guy we had a I once we had a a paint fight. We were painting, pouring five gallon buckets of paint on the inside of each other's cars and on each other's cars. He poured paint from a roof under me. I threw painted so very bad.
We were past the point of this being like, oh, that's a terrible thing to do to somebody is what I'm saying, but it's wild. There was some good American fun.
My point.
Elizabeth is the DEA, So the drugon Force and agency. They have thoughts about eating magic mushrooms giving them to your friends unknowingly because.
Some people it's like assault, isn't it?
Well some people freak out? Yeah, well yeah. According to DA, there's psychological consequences, including hallucinations and an inability to discern fantasy from reality. Panic reactions and a psychotic like episode may also occur, particularly if a user ingests a high dose.
Oh see, I would have the panic attack to end all panic attacks, because I'm always at a state of like mild panic attack red on a scale of one to ten. Are you having a panic attack? I'm like always at two?
Oh really, Okay, that's lower than I thought.
Throughout the day, it ebbs and flows, and I think at least once a day I get it up to crank it up to about seven eights.
Yeah, okay, there you go. I thought you'd be like, I start around three or four, I work it up to seven.
Erections on the world, Sarah, I'm trying to be optimistic, right though.
Okay, Well, as with anything Elizabeth, if you don't know this. In toxicology, the dose makes the poison, they say, right right, Well, with mushrooms, that's kind of difficult to know what an appropriate dosage is because you're just eating handfuls of dried mushrooms. Some have real high concentrations, some don't, and they look exactly.
Like saren that is exactly like halapeno peppers.
This really is, Elizabeth, some ub or you know.
A lot of peppers. You know, you take a bite, you go, okay, that's fine, you take it. Oh howdy?
Like, oh can I get rid of this part of my tongue?
So that's exactly the same.
So we've established that, uh, you know, magic mushrooms may not be the I don't know best drug for performance enhancing since you really can't know how much you're taking, right and if you get it wrong you may have a freak out. Yeah, okay, so enough about that, Elizabeth into magic the gathering, so the tabletop gamed. What do you know about it?
Uh? I just reacted.
So it was by this guy, a cat named Richard Garfield. Now actually a guy Richard.
I was like, wait, Garfield's first name is Richard.
Dicky Garfield back in nineteen ninety three. Right, it's a lot of things. It's a trading card game. It's also a tabletop game. It's a collectible. It's genius from a capitalism standpoint.
I think that ownership of the cards in the Venn diagram with those who keep toys in boxes, it's an overlap, like on shelves. You're talking about a perfect circle.
Yeah. I think he may be right.
I know I'm right. Baby.
I got friends. I can ask him they play this game.
I don't have friends.
Do you know that magic clocks a billion dollars a year annually?
I'm not surprised, right.
But is it fun for you? Elizabeth? I doubt it.
But I gotta be honest. I've never played it.
Oh great, I have the rules here right in front of me. How do you play the game of.
All the magic? People out there? Like, don't listen to me. I am a curmudgeon. I'm no fun. You're not hurting anyone, you do you?
You're not making fun of that.
You're just not in shape and run around and throw your cards down, you know to hey man.
H Well, since you asked, how do you play the game?
About?
Do you play great question, Elizabeth. Are the wizards the game You and another player are dueling wizards?
Of course there wizards. Do you have a staff with like a crystal orb? You can bring that if you beat someone to duck?
You cannot, but you were not.
Do the toes of your shoes curl up.
Onto each other if you are high ranking?
High ranking wizards?
These are just any old wizards, Elizabeth. They have a special name. They're called planes walkers.
Do they smell like mothballs?
No? They do not smell. Yes, like like wing walkers are the air circus. But these planes walkers, they walk the planes of existence walkers.
That's the shoes the zodiac war by.
The way, oh look at you.
Fact you to take it back to something cool.
You must be fun at dinner parties.
I've never been invited.
We used to have in an office I worked at. The creative side was all like hardwoods, and the executive side was all carpets, so we called the executives carpet walkers.
That's good, that's a good card. So these these planes walkers, right, You duel the other wizard by drawing cards from your deck of magic cards. And these cards are spells which you take turns playing and then responding to the spells other wizards drop. I won't get into all the details of how the magic spell cards work because I know you'd have so many questions. We'd be here all day. Really, So all the different kinds of cars and wizards they
wage battle. They take combat damage against the wizard's life total, right, which is usually like twenty to start. So that's why they they have these twenty sided dye that they use to keep track.
Right, I didn't know that. I thought it was just cards war. Oh yeah, those are you just slapped down?
Kind of? Yeah, you'll I'll explain.
Right, like magic, huh, good play my.
Second card now, so magic the gathering. Obviously, I'm no expert, right, I barely have I'm not even passing deck. No, I do not. But I did research it. I watched a bunch of competitive matches. I did. I watched a bunch of competitive matches.
Why am I surprised?
Well?
I had to know the language and see the rhythms and see like how people score, and like what they get excited about.
What do they wear when they're doing I'm not going to do that. They wear like wrap around sunglasses.
It's not like poker where you want to hide your face. You're not like bluffing people, so you don't need you know, you don't have like Magic Gathering people who are like low cut cleavage shirts so you can distract people.
They wear wizards hats.
No, but I mean something. I think some events probably people get a little more dressed up.
Leather, fingerless gloves, yes or no, like.
The bike gloves on the cards that I saw, But that doesn't mean it doesn't happen. Well, in my head, you're, as I said, your typical magic. The gathering features the two wizards and they're dueling, right, and that you can also have a whole melee of planes walkers if you want to. Right, they get a bunch of wizards together and I'll fight at once. But these days, Elizabeth, you can play on a table on a computer on your phone while you're sitting in the subway. But the story
is about a tabletop game. So let me lay out the table for you so you get an idea. I went to the official Magic Gathering website. Well, this isn't a metaphoric table. So step one the setup. The instructional YouTube video that I watched promised me that setting up the playing area is easy, and it turns out it is, which is good because you and I both like easy. So apparently you lay out your gameplay area with three stacks of cards.
Right?
Do you have your your deck of magic cards? You don't call it a deck? Oh look, Elizabeth, of course, is you're ever playing magic the gathering, please don't call it a deck. If you remember one thing I tell you today, remember that because I don't want some wizards looking at you like who brought the new deck? So just remember that. What are we going to call it? Great question, Elizabeth. A wizard in the no calls their
deck a library a library. Yeah. Now, next you shuffle your deck I mean library.
And three stacks out of your.
Oh yeah, I'm getting to the library and I'm getting to it.
Do you divide the stack of there's.
Different ones different You got your stack, your first one the library, so keep that one in mind, the library. Right, Then you draw your cards. The numbers can be determined by the dueling wizards. It's usually seven cards, you know, right, So once you draw, that's called your hand. So now you got your hand? Yeah, okay, So your deck is the cards that you're dealing to yourself for your hand. You got it your library.
Own personal library.
Okay, so then you got a second group of cards. Think of this as your discard pile. This one also has a name. You want to guess what is called the cauldron the graveyard. Good guest, though, oh thank.
You, beacause you know you know that I've told you before that when people try and explain.
Games, that's why I'm explaining it.
Like I'll like, in my mind, I'm floating in a field and chasing a butterfly, and I just.
Why do you think I've tathered you to this moment? And I'm excited a game to you that we're not going to play. This is even better.
Yes, the graveyard, and I'm watching I'm watching the blood pressure cuff as this happens, so I can live narrate how this is going.
Third stack up cards that were removed from the game. Now, if you were paying attention, the first one I said was a discard pile. So wait, what's different about this discard pile from this other removed? Well, this third pile it's called the exiles. So wait, exile's graveyard. What what's the difference? Again? Great, question, Elizabeth, really bringing your your A game to this. So the difference is the cards in your graveyard can be resurrected. The cards in the
exiles pile cannot. They've been removed from the game playing dimension.
They rise up and return back after exile.
Come on now, So finally on the table is the area called the battlefield. That's where all this stuff is happening. So you lay down cards that your opponent, the dueling wizard, lays down cards.
What's on these cards?
I'm so glad you asked, Elizabeth. So, uh, you got all this? You want me to repeat a section on Okay? So each turn, each turn is broken up into five phases. We're the first main phase. That's where you can play like a land card or you can cast a spell card. Yeah, I know it makes land or spell the different things. Okay, yeah, right, So like if a land card, it doesn't matter you put it down, it may last. In a spell card, it gets turned into either an effect or a creature.
So land is it's not like, oh, this is a mountain or this is Galilee. I don't know.
I wish I had answers for you. Yeah. So the second main phase, you play a land card during say your first main phase, right, but instead of me just giving all this stuff, I don't know, I know, I have like their language like that way i'll know I'm tell you the correct no, no.
Because I mean I'm gonna have to. You can't even.
Understand the game yet there, so we're still on the second, you're going to dazzle and then according to the official website for the Magic the Gathering quote, all types of cards except lands are spells while you're casting them. For example, angler Turtle is a creature card. While you're casting it, it's a creature's spell. When it resolves, it becomes a creature. Spells can only be cast during your main phase, except for instance, which can be cast any time.
What intarnation is an angler turtle spell.
It's just like the name of a creature. So you go, I'm gonna play my Angler Turtle and the and then like they go, oh you got, you know, like a block or a combat damage kind.
Of situation comes and gets here.
I'm glad you asked that. This brings us to the third and fourth main phases. Attacks in blocks quote, creatures deal combat damage by attacking and blocking. Each creature deals combat damage equal to its power. This damage is dealt during the combat damage setup, and any other kind of damage doesn't count as combat damage, even if it's dealt during the combat phase or is the result of a
creature's ability. So basically, the card will have like plus five on the top right when the person's like, oh, I got to take plus five damage. Essentially that may not be exactly correct, but that's listening. I just simplify.
I talk a lot of smack on these fans, and it's just because I'm not smart enough to do this.
I know that. That's why I'm taking all this time to explain it. Smart enough to understand.
We got a turtle, it's five.
So now we get the fifth phase. The end step, remove any damage from the creatures still in play, resolve any of the interurn effects, and pass the turn to your opponents. You got that, you kind of like you drop cards. You're like, I'm dropping the Angler Turtle, and then the person's like, oh, that is five points damage. The other person's like, wait, I can do an instant, which is that when they can do a block, and I go, this blocks your Angler Turtle.
What are you even talking?
It doesn't matter you got all that, Elizabeth, So we're gonna move on. Yeah, you're ready to get tripping and see what competitive magic gathering.
Is, Like, I need magic mushrooms.
The reason we know about it. The story I'm about to tell you is that this walker decided to do some shrooms and compete at a magic the gathering event, and then he wrote about his psychonaut adventure for an article published by O. G. Gowker in May of twenty fifteen.
Rip do g Gocker? Right?
So the byeline for this gonzo semi anonymously penned article who gives only the initials because once again the drug is illegal, Elizabeth. So he's known as coward CML. But since you would say that, I found his government name, it's Chris Morris Lent, So there you go. However, out of respect for his byline, we'll call him CML. So, as CMO explains in his article, quote, bringing to shrooms was a spontaneous decision, but I would never have eaten
them without some prior experience. Oh yeah, By prior experience, he means his previous spontaneous shroom nibbling. He's seen Elizabeth. CML was watching the NFC Championship game. The twenty fourteen NFC Championship game with Aaron Rodgers and the Packers facing Marshawn Lynch in the Seattle s.
Are you, CML?
No, I have not so since I know you don't know hot football. It's a very famous game. But I'll just I'll tell you this a couple of highlights. You know why he did what he did with the mushrooms.
Wait a second, This is when Aaron.
Rodgers was on the Packers and then Marshawn Lynch, your guy was on the Seattle Seahawks.
Was this the quake?
Not that? But so the game opens up. Aaron Rodgers, he throws an interception to your guy Richard Sherman.
Oh, I like him.
Yeah. Then Russell Wilson, Ciara's husband, he gives He gives the Packers the ball back when he throws an interception to Haha Clinton Dix.
Oh.
I don't even know that's his street name.
Ha Ha is right because his name's Clinton, is it?
His government name is Hashwan Treyshawn Clinton Dix. Anyway, we're watching this game. In the first quarter, CML gets the idea he needs to eat some mushrooms. Well, of course is like, I'm gonna help the team right where he put it quote, I ate some caps and stems. Five minutes in, I felt great. Fifteen minutes in I flat out doors. So it didn't quite work out right. So that's how it goes the mushroom. Suddenly you have to go and commune with nature, right or is he put
it quote? After communing with nature, it came back in and I lay on a couch in a room where I could hear reports of endless defeat and size of frustration issuing from the television and the sectional. It sounded like fiction. The game needed a new narrator. This is also how mushrooms go. You think you can influence things like NFL games with the power of your mind perhaps, and who knows, maybe you can. I don't know. Maybe fans each week are doing you know, psychic battle, right,
and that's how they're doing me. It could be well anyway, CML. He goes back in to do battle with the TV and change up the scene for everyone, as he puts it, quote, midway through the third quarter, I walked back to the TV, concentrated, and I envisioned a fake field goal. It worked, Elizabeth. It was one of the key plays of the game.
The coach called a fake field goal right, and he has this holder who's also the team's punter, take the snap, and then he springs up and he runs to his left, and the whole defense chases after him, and then they think it's a blown snap, and then the punter throws back. But he throws back across the field to a rookie. Not just any rookie, Elizabeth, it's a tackle, which is an offensive line. They're not supposed to catch the ball.
They never touch the ball. He gets the ball that this guy is a secret he played tight end in college. So he changes the ball right, yes, and then he runs broksymore. He lumbers down the field right and then boom, he scores a touchdown. Seahawks are on the scoreboard. Packer's still up sixteen to seven, though, CML goes, thanks to me, we're back in it.
Wow.
Yes, so the game is far from over. Seahawks still down now. Cml's like. As the game grew, grimmer I fantasized about scenarios where the Seahawks won. Can you guess what happens, Elizabeth? No, these fantasies grew out increasingly albandas she says, until one of them came to life. As
I knew it would, defeat had never been an option. Next, after that success with mushroom mind melding or whatever he thinks he did, our hero decides that he's gonna take that same never say die attitude to the world of competitive Magic the Gathering.
That makes sense.
Yeah, let's take a little break and when we get back, we're gonna go into Magic the Gathering with mushrooms. Elizabeth arn So we've gotten through all this stuff. Now we're at the like the moment. Yeah, we're like at the castle walls about to go busting in. Now, why did this guy want to go to a Magic the Gathering and do mushrooms? I mean, you wouldn't think that's a good idea. Why did he?
I don't know. I mean I've had a lot of bad ideas in my life.
We see this guy. He used to be a professional online poker player. Yeah, and then he washed out of that, and he's like, I gotta get back and refresh my love of the cards.
So he's smart enough to remember how to play a card game totally.
So he turned to Magic the Gathering to like refresh his love of the game. And then he went and he I'll let him tell it. CML says quote in January, I won a qualifier and earned a comped ticket touss to battle the most powerful planes walkers in the multiverse. What he got free tickets to Brussels, Belgium in Europe to go over there and compete with the best ling wizards the gathering. He takes the trip, has a terrible time,
of course, hates it right so bad. In fact, he writes an article just tearing down the Magic Pro Tour. Really yeah, he puts in that quote. Magic appeals only a niche demographic because its events don't matter and even suck in a lot of ways for the competitors. Contrast with esports, which have iconic pros and have reaped the rewards of their real advertising budgets. My article elicited some polarized responses, which brought me great joy.
So did you know that there are colleges that have sports teams.
Yes, I'm very familiar.
College collegiate.
You can be like signed and get a scholarship to be an esports star.
Yeah, for like you know.
Welcome to the President.
Elizabeth let candy cash.
So one day he learns our dude CMO learned that the Magic pro Tour has an event planned in his neck of the woods. Right pro Tour stop in Portland, he can go troll the magic community on his own backyard.
A magic tournament in Portland, Oregon.
Yeah, Elizabeth, do you hear it? And he's like, I should bring shrooms to that.
It's resonating through the canyons of my mind.
You ready to get groovy and some shrooms and go to magic the gathering stop pro Tour in Portland. So the day of the competition, weekend starts about how you might imagine it. CMO says, quote, our journey begins on a Saturday at six am, a time I'm more likely to stay up until then to get up by In my living room were three friends, a strip club DJ, a software engineer, and a costplay photographer, which is almost enough to fool you into thinking that the world of
competitive magic is diverse. I felt horrendous. There was only one thing that can restore my equilibrium. I wish you could see your face right know. I can you guess what that one thing was that would restore that? You can deliver in for this guy.
Well, first of all, why so early? Why do they start this thing?
So you got to do a road trip. They got to drive there, They drive a couple of hours, they got to get there in time for the Competitionoms, yeah, mushrooms. I mean he's like, hey's Strip Club DJ, hand me my backpack. He's like, I don't have it. Cosplay photographer down the list again. So he's all teed up ready for his day, sets the mood for the road trip, and then CMO in his article and I feel like I have to include this because it's such a genius choice.
He quotes from the Insane Clown Posse. He says, quote, if magic is all we've ever known, then it's easy to miss what really goes on. But I've seen miracles in every way, and I've seen miracles every day.
That's insane. That does not I thought they were all bull Scoomy, I got your fist off the beats.
Maybe a little bit more or so in the look, but a lot of their stuff is very positive.
It's all okay anyway.
Well, so these guys are all now in the car, right so Strip Club DJ, costplay photographer, software engineer, and are shroomed out magically gathering competitor. Yeah, and then he's like, you know, he's like, okay, I need to get my head right. So he gobbles a handful of mushrooms.
Right, they put on their trench coats, they get in the car, and.
Then, of course, because you know everybody knows the Hunter S. Thompson thing, he puts in. He writes out, quote, we were somewhere around Lacey when the drug started.
How you've gone like four pages into the list.
I'm so deep. So at this point they're good zooted on magic mushrooms, feeling the colors with their fingers, tasting the sky with his mind. Eventually they arrive at the Greater Portland Convention Center. Yeah, so they've safely arrived. CML eats another handful of mushrooms. Of course, gobble. Now you got to be stayed, you know, properly twisted. So but he declines to smoke a joint with his friend because he doesn't want to mess up his mind.
That's a bridge too far.
Yeah, we got his mix just right. You know, Bill might be run and Rich Dumley run and lean inside the convention center at the Magic Tournament he sees the first round pairings are up on the big board, and Elizabeth, I want you to be able to see this scene. As CML puts it, quote, magic tournaments are, for lack of a better phrase, visually stunning. The sheer number of people four hundred and seventy two players in Portland, several
thousand at some other events. The chaotic lurch towards match pairings and orderly arrangement side by side at long, narrow tables, the glaring lights and ugly carpets. You have to see it to believe it. Clad in orange and sweat eye was a part of it.
Pad an orange and swell, oh yeah.
He's got an orange T shirt on. I'll get back to that in a second. Twisted head full of psilocybe and hallucinating, ready to go. I look down at my hand, the flesh darkened and shriveled against the bright day outside. Was I to be slain and lobottomized and reanimated into a dread zombie to do the bidding of vile necromancy? Or was this the first sign of my transcendence to a higher realm, the tender that would ignite my planes walker spark, I swiped right on myself and walked toward
the first round. Okay, love the pros I could see on your face. He turns that squirreling mind against his first opponent. I'd seen my opponent's deck the day before, so I stared at him through my shades and read his soul. Oh shades told you, yeah, sunglasses on you. So he's reading his opponent's soul. Wins the first first match, goes outside, thinks about Walt Whitman, gobbles some more handfuls of mushrooms, goes back inside, now ready for round two.
He's confronted with the fact he can no longer trust his ears because now he cannot tell auditory hallucinations from reality.
His opponents is terrifying.
His opponent says to him, I read your article, and then he's like, what, so you think the article that trashed the Magic Pro Tour in Europe? Right, So goes and tries to apologize, I'm sorry, and the opponent thinks that he mishurt him, right, So he's like, no, I said I read your article. So CML says, I've definitely eaten too many, right, So he's just like starting to get a little scattered. He's polite though, so he manages to tell us a like what did you enjoy the article?
And you go, oh, I did, right, and then he just destroys the guy. He's like, all right, next win. So round two done in one right. Round three. A camera crew picks him up and they start filming him because they're like, oh yeah, so now there's gonna be an audience at home watching him on YouTube or whatever. CML wins again. He's just stacking up early wins, right. His software engineering buddy comes over. He's like, hey, would
you classify shrewds as a performance enhancing drug? Now? He doesn't answer the question because he's convinced that there's this guy walking up to him in a really brusque and officious manner, right, and he thinks, oh, that guy's from the CIA, right, So he's convinced of it. Right, The guy is not from the CIA, as't no, yeah, true, he's a journalist from the team that had covered the Magic Pro Tour event in Europe and recognized him and
also obviously read the article bashing the stuff. So he's like, yeah, heyde you do you read Chuck Closterman. I want to know if you reach checks. So the two of them have their thoughts. Do you have thoughts on Chuckloster?
You know?
Well, so anyway, as you might guess, CML, he reads Chuck Closterman, the guy from the the guy who's not from the CIA. He says of Chuck Closterman, quote, you know how he covers things, but he thinks he's better than everyone else. So in my opinion, that makes him kind of an So the two men then discussed the merits of being it like Chuck Closterman. They decide his writing would be better if Klosterman was actually smart and
not just a collector of culture. They're just bad mouth and poor Chuck Closterman.
Right.
Then they describe should CML dude like write some coverage? Right, and in a very Hollywood way, they're like, yes, let's talk about this at a later date. Now, my man, CML. He drops his sunglasses and hits the door marked exit. This is day one, right, So he into friends. They go out to celebrate the success so far. They eat some Greek food. They empty two bottles of wine at dinner.
As they drink, you know, he's still discussing his shroom enhanced performance and he's also still tripping because he's been gobbling shrooms all day. So at this point at the tour, for the tour event, just for those keeping score, he's eight and one.
Wow.
Yeah, not bad, right. So after dinner they want to go celebrate more. They go out for more drinks. They get some whiskey sours. He's convinced this will help sober him up.
Well, nothing's so like a whiskey.
Sour, right, But I always say that's my granddad used to say, that's.
That they taught me in elementary school.
His plan fails, Elizabeth, though, he but he still enjoys this beautiful moment of reverie. And he said, and I quote, all of life appeared before me. Boozy and diaphanous two health goths walked by Portland is all about chill hedonism, about not working and thinking playing magic there, all the stress and dyspepsia, that was well, that was hellenormative. Shroom's off, whiskey on, I'd be able to sleep. I hubered back to the hotel and did just that. So now we're
ready for day two, Elizabeth healths health Goths. Yes, how do you think he starts Day two? That's right, more shooms. I started my morning with sir, shrooms, he says, And he goes downhill from there, and I quote, there seemed to be no point in not eating them until I understood there was nothing to get rid of the putrid taste, or was there beside my leg with some moist and fishy my Greek leftovers. There was no fork in the rooms. I stole one from the hotel lobby and chased down
the shrooms with the salmon skewer. There was more salmon left after Wait, so then I ate more shrooms.
Wait, okay, So he eats something leftover salmon, It's gonna upset your stomach. And then he takes salmon leftover salmon that has not been refrigerated, has in his pocket.
Up against his body, Warmed by his body.
He warmed, I'm getting food poisoning.
Oh yeah. So now he goes back to the Pro Tour, the tourney event at the Greater Portland Convention Center. He wins the first round easily.
Right.
A tournament judge walks by and says, with a smirk, I hear you've added a Chitucky's to your diet today.
Oh and is he still wearing the pants that he has.
He's still wearing the orange shirt Elizabeth, but his.
Pants had salmon in it. He's got to be a pleasure.
Also now that he thinks that the judges are onto him right, and that could be a problem because you know, we're joking about it now. The judges are joking about it then, but their story could change later if he wins it. All they're like, this is performance enhancing drugs. So he denies it to the judge's face, right to him. He's like, oh yeah, he's like Peter talking to the Romans. He's like, I don't know what you're talking about. So next he sits for a match against a friend. That's good,
nice friendly match. His friend goes, hey, the rumor's true. I hear you been shroming your way through the tournament. So he's like, everybody's talking about it. So he's like, hey man, and his friend actually says that I thought you'd like this. Why Why would you think shrooming for multiple days in a convention center playing magic was a good idea?
I love this guy.
His answer is both poetic and philosophical. He says, why anything.
I feel like, why is he surprised that people know that he's doing mushrooms. And I feel like he's been telling everything.
Yes, I think so and his friends EA, strip club DJ, the cosplay photographer.
The rule in the software once you tell a strip club DJ.
P Yes, so he and his friend now don't.
Tell a strip club DJ and anything he wouldn't in.
The paper or right in the sky. So at this point where we oh, yeah, the tournament's going on day two, our anti hero CML, he is about to qualify for the elimination rounds of the tournament. That's how well he's doing. Think playoffs right, right? So he in this dueling wizard or they're in a match and they discuss intentionally tanking this match, like ending in a forced draw so that they can both qualify for the elimination rounds. And his opponent tells him, you'd be the most awesome guy ever.
In CML agrees I was the most awesome guy ever. He really knew how to flat or someone on trooms. So after that, he wins his next match that went catapult him onto the main stage. Now he's up back onto the camera table where the match will be filmed broadcast. There's announcers who are calling the game on This is the footage that I watched on YouTube. Yeah, so his first game before the cameras. Perhaps he gets a little self conscious, I don't know, distracted. Maybe the mushrooms are
backing up on him. But he doesn't do well. He actually he's hell leave it to him, he said, quote congratulations and good luck. I said, moved by my own generosity. It's easy to be a gracious loser when you're on shrooms. It's also easy to be a gracious loser when it doesn't matter much. But if that's true, then why do we ever get salty after losing a magic Elizabeth? So
at this point in the playoffs, he's in the seventh spot. Right, tournament official comes over to talk to him, and he was like, was I being ousted for five counts of delinquency and hooliganism? I was shrooming. Everybody knew I was shrooming. It's like you a little bit right, Mostly though, he's imagining things, because the official then walked past him to the guy behind him, tapped him on the shoulder and then said, oh, yeah, you've got ninth. You're out right.
So he's like, oh, and that's the guy who he had split the draw with to get him. Man guilty. Anyway, onto the quarterfinals. At this point, cml's head fully spinning, questioning reality. Convinced everyone knows he's on mushrooms.
And he said, he still has to do calculations.
I put down the cards and they get about how many cards they have. And yes, so anyway, he's rolling good, he says, like Jesus from the Big Lebowski. He rolls his way into the semis. So at one point when he looks down at his deck box, you know, he's a hallucinating so much that he sees this symbol and decides, that's the tree of my ancestry. Yes, the tree of his ancestry does not help him. He plays badly that round, but the tree of his ancestry, So somebody pulls it
out because I don't know. He must have dropped the craziest combos of creature cards ever, But I wish I could tell you, But let's be real, I know you wouldn't care. So my man CML must reminded troll. He wins his way into the finals the big Game, Elizabeth, At this point, you need to have a visual of our hero CML wearing the orange T shirt over a
button down collared shirt. So that looks so the collar started unevenly popping up out of the orange T shirt, which is always a great look, and then the orange T shirt looks like it's from the bottom of a pile of dirty clothes. His shortish brown hair is kind of matted, and he has the sunglass is on top of his head like a seventies movie star, but on him it's like he forgot they were up there anyway. His face is decorated with a mustache, but that's obscured
by the uneven two week old beard. His eyes swimming in his face right to the top of it all off. He has this sort of goofy grin. Okay, the mushrooms and he hits the finals heavily. Mushroom codd look right, and the whole finals is just quite a scene. I watched the thing on YouTube. It's amazing. But rather than me tell you about it, Elizabeth, I'd like you to close your eyes and I'd like you to picture it. No,
you are in the Greater Portland Convention Center. The air is conditioned, and the sounds of the crowd give the room. It's vibe hushed conversations like you'd hear at a chess championship or a golf tournament. At the moment, you are at a table and there is an expensive video camera trained on you. There are also headphone wearing announcers watching your every move and commenting on it for the viewers at home. This all makes sense because you are facing
CML in the finals. You are a dueling with Of course, I am that's right, Elizabeth, your planning for the whole mcgilla. This it's you versus him to win all the kit and caboodle of this pro magic tour. You look over your library of cards one last time. Your mind is set. You look up from your cards when you hear your opponent CML say to no One in particular, I am where I need to be? Come again, you replied, not
sure you heard your opponent correctly. Your opponent, he doesn't answer. Instead, he sort of stares at you with eyes like swirling pinwheels of an inebriated cartoon character. He mutters again once again, too, no one in particular. A flashback within a flashback within a flashback that makes absolutely no sense to you. So instead You play your first card. He counters with his card, the Temple of Malady. You check your cards, nothing good
to counter. You have to draw. The announcers say it's not the best mood, but you should be in fine shape. Your pinwheeled eyed opponent grins at you, then plays a death missed Raptor, and he lays down his hand. You put his whole spread. You put a hand to your forehead. Has he got you? He has got you? Has any what card can you play? The announcers speculate what cards you have in your hand, what cards you have in your deck? You stall for time. Your opponent has definitely
got you up against a magical wall. Meanwhile, he confidently grins at you like a drunk cheshire cat. You can see the game and move on to game two. But again, early on, he's got you playing cards and stepping into his trapped It's like he can see through the deck. It's like he can see into your soul. Then you hear him say you're pretty sure to himself once again, I am one with my deck. I am the whip
of Arebos that resurrected the Hornet Queen. I am the satire wayfinder that blazed a fretty trail through the Virgin Lands. I am the temple of Malady that sucked dry the forest of impurity and affliction. Before you know it, twenty five minutes later, it's all over. You've lost. You're not sure how he did it, but his cards were like piano keys under the fingers of Franz Lipt. He played the game so beautifully it was like he indeed was the whip of Arabos that resurrected the Hornet Queen. He
did it, Elizabeth, They did it to you. Can you like? It's just tell me how it felt to be at a magic the Gather.
I played that draw for.
And by the way, he won and successfully trolled the magic the Gathering community wins it all right, agent a chaos, which I thought you would appreciate. He did it on magic mushrooms, which I appreciated. Now, one question, can you imagine if you were his significant other, you had to spend this weekend in the Portland Convention Center rooting for your dueling wizard.
This person actually went up there.
I don't think he has. I was just throwing it out there as a speculation after his performance enhanced victory CMO has to pop over and give a winner's interview on camera. Somehow, on camera he seems kind of sober. Of course, obviously he's not all told. Dude wins five thousand dollars. Wow, splits the with the top four players. Oh real, nice guy. He takes on twenty two to fifty.
On the way home, CML still has a head full of mushrooms, and so as the road is rolling on underneath the car, he says, and I quote, I closed my eyes to Vista's endless geometry, all was well, there you go. It's a little trip for you, Elizabeth. What's our ridiculous takeaway here?
Oh? Stay far away from Portland, Oregon when you're on mushrooms and wanting to play magic together. I don't know.
You can find this in Santa Cruz.
That's true.
You can find this cry, that's true. There's somebody. What is it about that?
What is it that the woods us to.
That you won't find? I want to know to people playing magic, the gathering in the desert, or is this more like the Pacific Northwest kind of thing?
I think it's I think you can only buy them New Mexico.
Let us hear Arizona, South Nevada raised house. So my ridiculous takeaway, Elizabeth, thank you for asking. Right is I found a game that I don't think you'll ever play. And you love games.
I do love games.
Yeah, but I'm going to buy a Magic the Gatherings.
What if I get so into it that's all I do.
Then I'm gonna find somebody who like, really like a kid who wants you to play.
I don't have the wattage in my head to make it work.
Sure you do, well, you move for a talkback. We can refresh that wattage, producer. Do you got to talk back? Ready? Sure? Do you? Oh?
Oh my god, super I love you.
Hi, Saron and Elizabeth.
Uh So.
The other night I went to my first ever live comedy show with my friend and while we were waiting for the main act, there was trivia up on the screen and the question was this was the first person to win a Grammy for Comedy Album. And I turned my friend and said, oh my gosh, we were just talking about that, and she was like what, And then I realized it had been me listening to a Ridiculous crime and Zarin talking about Bob Newhart. I love the show.
Thanks at the bar trivia for yeah, I love that.
Yeahs was bar trivia, they said trivia, they did say. Anyway, as always, you can find us online Ridiculous Crime on the social media is We're over on the Blue Skies now and so look for us there, and we have our website, ridiculous Crime dot com. Check it out. We got all sorts of merch for you. And obviously we love the talkback, so go to the iHeart app download it, leave us a talkback maybe here at your voice here. And also you can email us if you like Ridiculous
Crime at gmail dot com. As always started deer producer d Thanks for listening. We will catch you next crime. Ridiculous Crime is hosted by Elizabeth Dutton and Zaren Burnettes, produced and edited by the satire Wavefinder That Lazed of Freddy Trail. Dave Houston is starring Annalis Rucker as Judith.
Research is by the inventors of the tabletop card game Tragic The Ungathering Marissa Brown and Andrea Song Sharpened Tear, Our theme song is by the Temple of Malady that Sucked Dry The Force of Impurity and Affliction aka Thomas Lee and Travis Dudno. Host wardrobe provided by Botany five hundred guest hair and makeup by Sparkleshow and Mister Andre. Executive producers are Magic the Gathering pro Tour announcers Ben Boleen and Noel.
Brown Cime Say It one more Time.
Cry Ridiculous Crime is a production of iHeartRadio. Four more podcasts My heart Radio, visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.