Ridiculous Crime is a production of iHeartRadio Zarah.
Yes, Hell Hello, Sorry, I was buried under some interns.
Oh were you?
Yeah, you're having a cuttle fight.
That's I'm gonna tell each charge.
Oh that sounds bad. It sounds really their four legged interns.
Elisam okay, well, okay, so bad. You know what's ridiculous?
Yes I do.
Oh spill it, sister.
Okay. So I was very excited to learn that the Ghanaian seti, their unit of currency, was the world's best performing currency in twenty twenty five. Oh good, Yeah, that's not ridiculous. So that's good. But it did it searts nearly fifty percent in value against the US dollars.
I'm suspicious, but this is good.
Yeah. No, And then this has caused some problems back home. Right, so there are people who are not super fond of this, like well, for instance, the goods have become more expensive, like inflationary proper.
Yeah.
So there's a group of people who've been now petitioning the government for change, right and well, I'll just read it to you. They are The group is called the Ghana Drunkards Association, and they have issued a three week ultimatum to the government to reduce the price of alcoholic beverages. They claim to have sixteen million members nationwide and they're going to stage a massive demonstration if they're demand for
lower priced alcohol and other drinks. They point out not just alcohol, but all these drinks are and to date, quote the price of alcoholic drinks keeps going up. If you purchase alcohol, there's an increment about fifteen percent, and this affects vendors. We've learned that the set he has gained some strength, and prices of some items have been reduced. However, the cost of alcohol remains high. And so they're upset
because they're like, this is part of our culture. So I mean, they literally say that we have given them, the government a three week grace period to meet us so we can deliberate on how to reduce the prices of alcohol. They're a very serious group of drunkards, Elizabeth.
And they're going to do a protest, yes, notably to boycott the alcohol.
Well you know, no, no, come on, be ridiculous. Yeah, but they said, we're not just concerned about drinking for fun. This is our livelihood and social fabric. When alcohol becomes too expensive, it affects our community and economy and culture. Yeah, so they were talking to the Guinahan government good luck, con and Druggards Association Luck ridiculous.
That is one hundred percent ridiculous. Do you want to know what else is ridiculous? Yeah, getting arrested for being crazy when the truth is Saren, We're all crazy.
That's true, that's so true.
This is Ridiculous Crime A podcast about absurd and outrageous capers, heists and cons. It's always ny nine percent murder free and one hundred percent ridiculous. Yeah.
You damn.
Said before, and I'll say it again. Yes, I love a good character, you do. I love a good eccentric.
You will text me when you find one.
We we need weirdos, you need them, and I feel like our current society seriously shuns them. You think so, well, Yeah, I'm talking about like genuine weirdos.
Not people who want people doing it for the ground.
Yeah. And it's not attention seeking behavior and it's not negatively impacting others.
Ah, it's so social mavericks.
Yes, people who.
Are they're just out there.
They're like, I got to live by my own rules.
Yeah, it ain't hurting nobody here in the Bay Area. That used to be common. Yes, people living on the fringe, like being aborious, like existing way beyond the present in terms of how they saw the world and the way they expressed them.
A lot of rainbow children, Star warriors.
Yeah, and that died out. It was it was run off by tech money.
Really could honest literally could.
Like the tech folks. They all wear the same clothes. And I'm painting with a broad brush purposefully.
Of course, they like to eat.
And shop at chain places because it will always be the same wherever they go at upscale chains. But you know, still sure, And don't say I'm overstating it, because I've seen it with my own eyes, own.
Eyes, you know, I've entered that into my Yeah, it's part of the bit, I.
Says, says I.
I love that, Ah Streeter.
So, in honor of the San Francisco weirdos, in honor of the crazy dreamers everywhere, in honor of those who create their own reality for the benefit of humankind, I have a guy for you today.
Who is it?
This is an ode to an outsider in praise of the eccentriccentric. I mentioned this guy a little while ago, saying I should do an episode about him. This guy, Joshua Abraham Norton aka Emperor Norton aka Norton, the first Emperor the United States and Protector of Mexico.
Totally.
He is one of my favorite San Francisco Gold Rush characters, and he's actually one of my favorite characters full stop.
Large.
A year or two ago, you invited me to come with you as you went on the Emperor Norton Historical walking Tour in San francs.
Yes.
It was like a private It was just.
Us and the three of us walking around San Francisco. Good.
Amazing, I was. It was not something I would have imagined that I'd love as much as I did. It was fascinating, engaging the guy who plays Norton totally fabulous if you ever have a chance to recommend it. So good. One thing that stuck with me when was when we were walking down the street, if we passed a cop on foot, they'd salute the Emperor and say Emperor yes. Yeah, And apparently that's what cops back and the day did
for the real Emperor tition. Yeah. But when that's back when weirdos were allowed, so to have the cops today do the same thing for the guy leading a walking tour while in costume. Felt like a little slice of old San Francisco totally because the guy who plays Norton, he's an eccentric type too. I love him. He's like classic San Francisco.
He's a clamper too, so he's into the whole, like keeping things weird.
Yes, and so it's eccentric San Francisco in my mind, real San Francisco. So let me regale you with the tale of real Emperor Norse.
I love this.
Please no Norton. He was born in England to Jewish parents in eighteen eighteen. Okay, his dad was a farmer and then a merchant, and when he was two years old, his parents moved the family to South Africa. They went as part of this like colonial effort. British colonists were sent by the UK government to live in the Eastern Cape of South Africa.
Okay, yeah, they're trying to take over for the Boers that yeah.
So by eighteen thirty nine he was living in Port Elizabeth, South Africa. He and his brother in law started a business together but it flopped and then it lasted only like a year and a half. He bummed around, He worked for his dad for a little bit, and then he was like an auctioneer. But then he had this urge to move, so he hopped on a ship to Liverpool and from there he headed to Boston. Shipping up to Boston. That was like eighteen forty six or so.
By eighteen forty nine, the fateful year of gold discovery in the Hills, Norton was in San Francisco already. Oh yeah, he was there. So later accounts would say, quote in eighteen forty nine, on the fifth day of November, Norton arrived in San Francisco from the Cape of Good Hope via Rio de Janio and Valparaiso. So legend was that he arrived in San Francisco with forty thousand dollars on him.
Damn.
There is also a speculation that in between Boston and San Francisco it was like three year period that he'd stopped off in South America and done business there and made serious cash. So whether like the some thought that the forty thousand was like an inherent tints from his father either way, or if it's just like a juiced up version, we can only speculate either way.
He's got stack.
He's got stacks. This author, Theodore Kertschoff. He wrote a series of essays in eighteen eighty six in German called Californish Colt will be the I'm saying, so it looks like Californish culture builder. Okay, but it's like cult Bielda. Anyway, it's an amazing name. I want our friend Derek to make a vehicle named after that.
My German friend Derek, you are, you know, beloved.
He's a major friend of the show. He's like, he's an honorary intern. Really, I'd say so, even though he has two legs and so forth.
It's true.
Yeah. So anyway, it translates to Californian cultural images. Oh not California culture Builder, which I think is cooler, but either way sounds good.
Yeah.
So he said that Norton was one of seven passengers aboard the steamer Francesca out of Rio headed for the Bay San Francisco Bay on the twenty third of November eighteen forty nine, and so that that was a gold fever boat, right. Yeah, we have records that the boat arrived, but not who was on it. And that was really really common at the time. It was just a free for all.
Yeah, I'm sure that the purser jumped ship.
Yeah yeah, there's no immigration station there nothing. You just jump off the boat and run.
Because it's not a state closed down.
You're like, and there's a record of ships, but that's because they were hauling cargo and stuff like that. So let's go with this as our truth here. That's how he got there. So no matter how it happened, he wasted no time setting up shop. He set up a real estate and import business called Joshua Norton and Company. That's as plexible title. And it was a success. In just three years. He turned a two to a four, turned a four to an eighth. So what was forty
grand when he first got here? By eighteen fifty one he had two hundred and fifty grand. Wow, that's more than eight million dollars today. Damn.
He's not a businessman, he's a business man. Yeah.
So Norton from just another guy showing up to the gold Rush to like a successful businessman respected by the community. He was in with the city's elites. He joined all the good social clubs. The Swells invited him to all these amazing parties, he networked with the best of them. He had totally made it in this fantastic boom town. But saren, Yeah, it wouldn't last.
Oh what happened?
He made all the right choices until he didn't. What can we explain this to you?
You see, I wonder where he could go wrong. He's doing so well.
It's amazing. Okay. So eighteen fifty two, there's a famine in China. Things are dire so coming out of the First Opium War in the Treaty of Nanking, the Chinese were on the losing end of that agreement with the British, and so you add in then the Taiping Rebellion, there's a drought. So between eighteen fifty one and eighteen seventy three, ten to thirty million people died of starvation. They're just not they do. Don't have it.
Humiliations, they call it.
Right. So there's a rice shortage in San Francisco. Okay, rice prices as a result of this, rice prices.
Spiked because all the rice is going to China.
It's coming it was coming from China.
Oh, and they're just holding they're just holding onto their own.
Yeah, they didn't have the rice production in California, like they.
Have Oh, interesting, so that's a more modern Yeah yeah.
So I mean there really there was nothing going on in Central Valley.
Like that's why I thought they got to feed people that rice is a cheap starch.
Yeah. So the rice prices it was, they were up nine hundred percent. Yeah. An importer came to Norton and said, look, I had this huge opportunity. You can corner the market on rice in San Francisco. There's a shipment of rice coming from Peru, and you can buy it at twelve and a half cents a pound as opposed to the going rate of thirty six cents a pound. Huh, and it's only Yeah, it's going to cost you twenty five
grand and then you can flip it. So he's like, yeah, it gives them a two grand deposit on the contract. The boat was scheduled to arrive December twenty second, eighteen fifty two. He was stoked. He was about to make serious cash. He had the cash on delivery money ready. Twenty three thousand dollars. Ship comes into harbor, unloads, Norton pays up. He's sitting on white gold seriously. But then more ships started showing up from Peru and full of rice.
Oh so that wasn't the that was the only one shift.
After another with way better rice on board.
That's all I was thinking is that anywhere the Spanish would have been there were they would have had rice start being cultivated exactly.
So he gets America like it's like the crud rice, and then like the.
Goods, he doesn't even get the goods st No, so the.
Good stuff starts, you know, coming in the market's flooded. Rice goes down to three cents a pounds and he is thinking he's buying it at twelve and a half cents. So Buddy's underwater on a boatload of subpar res. He'd been had bamboozled, so he tried to get the contract nullified on the grounds of fraud. The fight went to court, wound its way through there for two years, and it wasn't a cheap fight.
No, he's got paid the legal.
Cost him and then bankrupted him. Basically. In October of eighteen fifty four, he finally lost. The California Supreme Court ruled that the contract held What Yeah, so there he is, He's broke, dejected, He couldn't jumpstart his business because he's his cash is gone. So he ran for office as you do. Eighteen fifty five, He's like, I want to be in charge.
Is that right?
He ran for San Francisco tax collector in eighteen two, Sara. He did not win.
I'm guessing not.
Filed for bankruptcy in eighteen fifty six on the August twenty fifth, eighteen fifty rice. Yeah, rice a'rony the.
San Francisco tree. The irony of this, I know it runs deep.
So the San Francisco Daily Evening Bulletin they published a notice. In August of eighteen fifty six, Joshua Norton filed a petition for the benefit of the insolvency law. Liabilities fifty five eight eleven dollars, assets stated at fifteen thousand dollars uncertain in value.
Whoa, So he lost everything, lost everything off of one attempt at corner. So he gets got too greedy in a sense.
Yeah, I think he thought I'm going to get one up.
On it everybody. And again it's he didn't investigate the rice market of South America. No, he didn't really recognize that how many there were rice coming before you make a purchase that big you need to know a little bit about the mark.
All the right choices. Until he didn't.
They got it.
Wow. So this is like a tipping point for him. He lost touch with reality. And in eighteen fifty eight he made an announcement he's running for Senate, and when people headed to the polls the next year, his name wasn't on the ballot. It was like just a general announcement. He didn't file.
Yeah, and then he's like, oh, get into bars, open doors.
So he's this ailed businessman. He's lost everything, he lost his fancy digs. He was at this point, he's living in a boarding house.
He has no family, no wife, no maub himself.
Gone are the glamorous parties, the social set had like passed him up.
Of course, the connections in.
The power gone. And it's not that he'd lost his mind. He was still sharp and insightful. He'd lost faith in the system. He kind of broke him. He's disillusioned with everything. He felt that he had to help get everything, society, people, the city back on track. He could do it. He could get people back to where they needed to be.
Yeah, the world's out off kilter.
Yeah, I mean he tried sales for a little while after his bankruptcy. Ran an ad in the paper offering China sugars for sale, but it wasn't a goer. I don't even know what that is. Yeah, China sugar product.
Yeah.
So for a few years he scraped by. He was living in this cheap boarding house, staying under the radar. Yeah, quite a change from his earlier days. But then he made a splash. In July of eighteen fifty nine, he took out an ad in the San Francisco Daily Evening Bulletin newspaper. It wasn't so much an ad as a manifesto. It reads as follows manifesto from Joshua Norton, Citizens of the Union. The Union is threatened with dissolution. Dissensions exist
between the North and South. Measures affecting the general welfare cannot be got through Congress. Confidence ceases to exist with foreigners in the integrity and stability of the institutions of the country. Will you inaugurate a new state of things? Joshua Norton. So it's like, oh, what is this?
Does he understand a manifesto is not supposed to be an open question.
No, it's you know, he's.
A manifesto, are you guys juting it so like you know, but it's.
Like pretty much your basic crackpot stuff totally having worked in municipal government for a period of time, like this the stuff you.
Get the city council.
You got three minutes, yes, but then two months later he's back with another message like this is like pre
Zodiac good messages. At the peremptory request of a large majority of the citizens of these United States, I Joshua Norton, formerly of al Goa Bay, Cape of Good Hope, and now for the last nine years and ten months past, of San Francisco, California, declare and proclaim myself Emperor of these United States, And, in virtue of the authority thereby and me vested, do hereby order and direct the representatives of the different States of the Union to assemble in
Musical Hall in this city on the first day of February next then and there to make such alterations in the existing laws of the Union as may ameliorate the evils under which the country is laboring, and thereby cause confidence to exist both at home and abroad in our stability and integrity. Norton the first Emperor of the United States.
If you're going to lose your marbles, have fun with her, have a blast. If your country is in civil war, be the one I'm gonna have.
I'm going to be the voice. I'll do it fine. Everyone wants me to do it. No longer. Joshua Norton, He's now Norton, the first Emperor of the United States. So his message ran in the paper, not as a proclamation or called arms, but as a comic bit is the way they the paper's fund it, like, oh, what an eccentric we have on our hands type thing. And from that moment until he took his last breath, Joshua Norton was now emperor in the eyes of the good
people of San Francisco for real. So according to this documentary Timothy speed Levitch quote, some say he'd gone mad, others say he'd gone wise.
Distinction.
Yeah, let's take a break and I'll tell you more about Joshua Norton and his grand visions when we get back, Zaren, Yes, Okay, So Joshua Norton, Dude.
I'm loving Norton the first because of one thing, Elizabeth that people just asked me when I was young like, what do you want to do it for a living? And I thought this was a career path. Apparently it's not. Is I wanted to be a holy fool. I saw what they got to do, and I'm like, that's the move, right, you just get to live in your own world. And everyone's like, oh, we just let him do this thing. How do you do that? He nailed it, He figured it out. You got to go bigger than I thought.
He's like, I'm gonna be emperor.
He hit the sweet spot right like this time and place totally.
Yeah.
So he was keeping himself busy with lots of decrees he got to. He'd hand them off to the local papers. They were happy to run them because like, this is great copy and it wasn't limited to San Francisco papers. They would run them and then those would get picked up by wire services and they ran all over the country.
Oh for real? Oh yeah, the syndicated the brother.
Yes, so just like and it just built up the like San Francisco's coooky reputation for decades.
Yeah, he helped the stabblers to come.
Yeah. So on October twelfth, eighteen fifty nine, he called for the formal abolition of the United States Congress.
A very popular and again.
He invited everyone to meet up at the musical hall in February of eighteen sixty.
The great American music called San Francisco.
No, it just doesn't exist anymore. He was like, let's do this, folks, let's gather, let's tear tear it. Let's get together and.
Tear it all down, show up at the music hall.
So through eighteen sixty one he ran ten more proclamations. Let me give you some highlights. October twenty fourth and twenty seventh of eighteen fifty nine, he went after the California Supreme Court. He first invited appeals to his authority. Then he officially abolished the state Supreme Court. Remember you know he had that beef against the rifies.
They made him poor.
Yeah, so they'll pay for that. November third, eighteen fifty he censured defamatory publications. So he said that quote scurrilous and untrue articles shall not insult the nation's honesty, just in general. Just don't lie.
So like, don't stop it, France.
You stop it. No, he's talking about the public papers. No more yellow journalism. Off knock it off, pals.
So he wasn't like badmouth America in your press is American press.
You're making us all dishonest.
Okay, Yeah, I like that.
November seventeenth, eighteen fifty nine, he condemned the John Brown Insurrection issued a proclamation alerting that quote treasonable and malignant motives in Virginia and Maryland must be punished, even at the risk of bloodshed. Just an interesting position for him to take, given his later views. December twenty eighth, eighteen fifty nine, he then removed Virginia Governor Henry Wise Oh for hanging John Brown, and he appointed John C. Breckenridge's replacement. Kind of an about face.
Wow, he really flipped on that one.
He did a flip, but he kind of he thought about it a little more than he's like, you know what, I'm going to pull this governor. He's bad, he's bad business problem.
Yeah.
January fourth, eighteen sixty, he summoned the US Army to depose Congress. He ordered military action against Congress because no one was enforcing his decrees.
Oh, so he's like turning the cannons on Congress.
Yes. And I need to note here that the February first, eighteen sixty music Hall had to be rescheduled because the place. So the place burned down on January twenty third, Oh like, no worries. On January twenty eighth, he made another decree that the venue would be moved to the Assembly Hall, and that would be February fifth.
To update your calendar.
So you know, slight little adjustment.
Down the street. Don't worry, convenience. February five, refreshing eighteen.
Sixty, he called a national convention. He wanted representative all the states to come to a different music hall.
Plats music hall on the music hall.
Yeah, party, different music hall. We're going to ameliorate the nation's ills, guys. But just like posse up, yeah, les, here's a big dog one sure. On July sixteenth, eighteen sixty, he dissolved the United States of America, the whole thing.
Yeah, he declared, finally somewhat brave enough to do it.
He declared the Republic dissolved, and he advocated for a temporary monarchy. Was like I'm doing my Rodney Dangerfield collar pole.
So he basically saying, we'll keep this United States part and America part, but it's now no longer republicsh no longer. It's under I'm the captain. Would you be an empire?
He's the emperor, I think, so, you know whatever. So he slowed down a little on the decrease after.
That, Oh, I took it out of He's pretty much gone to the top.
What was there to do? He didn't stop. In eighteen sixty one, he expanded his title. So there was unrest in Mexico and he figured they needed his help, so he changed his title to Emperor of the United States and Mexico.
It was also a big move eighteen sixty one. I mean, the United States is in civil war. He doesn't know that's going to.
Play out right, quite frankly, where he was in San Francisco had been Mexico exactly.
Let's reconnect this matter.
Yeah, But then he thought better of it the next year and he decided to be Emperor of the United States and Protector of Mexico.
It's more, Yeah, he's like, they're good on their own. I just want to like shield them.
I'm going to protect that. Yeah. So eighteen sixty two, he demanded that Catholic and Protestant churches formally ordain him emperor in response to the divisions causing the Civil War, like apparent, Yeah, it wasn't so much a sectarian thing, but you know, okay, well, yes, July twenty fifth, eighteen sixty ninety, went futurist.
Ooh.
He announced his support of this like innovative airship. In fact, he ordered San Franciscans to provide financial backing for Frederick Marriott's airship experiments. I'm digging that's a sign of the tech industry to come.
Future thinking. I love this, and also like, that's really early on that.
Yeah. He August twelfth, eighteen sixty nine, swinging for the fences, but in something that made sense if you were living under an emperor. He abolished major political parties.
Of course, you don't need them anymore.
He officially. He officially dissolved both the Democratic and Republican parties in order to quell partisan strife. I can get with that, sure. Between eighteen sixty eight and eighteen seventy eight, he released a flurry of proclamations, more than seventeen defending the rights of the Chinese in America. He wanted equal treatment for Chinese immigrants, including the including He demanded admission of Chinese testimony in courts.
Oh, yeah, because it couldn't testify it.
And this is even before the Chinese Exclusion Act of eighteen eighty two.
Just about to say, it's just so.
He saw how poorly Chinese immigrants in San Francisco were treated. They were the working backbone of the city and they contributed greatly and still due to the culture and spirit of San Francisco. Pained him to see how they were mistreated and abused. There's this one from.
April Chinatown, right right where he is.
Yeah, so there's this one from April eighteen seventy six proclamation by Emperor Norton. Whereas the attempted legislation of the State and City of San Francisco to offer an indignity to the Chinese will bring the American lawmakers into contempt. And whereas we are determined to keep inviolate our treaty
obligations between the Empire of China and the United States. Now, therefore, we Norton, the First Dia Grascia, Emperor, do hereby order the military and police authorities to arrest and have promptly punished all persons who shall counsel any outrage or in dignity against the Chinese.
First, I love it.
Also, he's got the language so good and the all caps whereas oh, well, his proclamations were often before their time, like the airship thing. He spoke out against corruption and fraud of all corporate political personal He supported women's suffrage.
Damn.
He demanded fair treatment and enhanced legal protections for not just Chinese immigrants, but all immigrants and all racial and ethnic minorities. Yeah. For instance, he decreed that black people should be allowed to ride public street cars and be admitted to public schools across the nation.
WHOA, Yeah, he desegregated in America.
He did, like eighteen seventy in defensive days.
It was actually before technically had been fully segregated. Because before you get to focus in, he's like, he's going to stop that.
It's like, I know how they're all off.
I can see how reconstruction's failing.
Yeah. He defended Native Americans. He proclaimed, quote all Indian agents and other parties connected with frauds against the Indian tribes were to be publicly punished before as many quote Indian chiefs as could be assembled together.
We're going to bring the Indian agents. Had the ice for Native American issues, at the time, He's like, look, we when bring the Indian chiefs together, make these guys get exactly. I think a lot of people get behind that.
I think so if you were to classify his belief system, he was a religious humanist who didn't believe in organized religion. He saw Puritanism as a grave danger to society. He was a staunch believer in separation of church and state, so far even though he wanted the Catholics and the Protestants to deem him and you're.
Going to have spots.
He was strongly against blue laws.
You want people to know to drink.
Well, anything closed. If he had to force something to close on Sunday, or any probition of any commerce on Sunday, he said it quote discriminated against the Germans and the Jews. Huh the Germans they like their beer.
Well, yeah, it's true, I guess. So.
He believed in technology as a means of advancing social well being and prosperity. He believed in fair taxes and their applications towards a robust transportation infrastructure.
I mean, there's a really good platform so to hear for it.
In fact, he was the one who championed the idea for a bay bridge linking San Francisco to Oakland.
That was his idea.
Yeah, it was in response, Okay, there was Why did they call it the Emperor Norton Bridge. Well, that's there. They're trying to get it real. Yeah, there's a movement for that. So December eighteen seventy one, The Evening Bulletin ran an editorial about this proposal that the Central Pacific Railroad Company had. They wanted to build a bridge across San Francisco Bay at its narrowest point, and they wanted the people of San Francisco to underwrite a three million
dollar bond issue to pay for the job. That's like eighty million today, which would be a bargain totally.
Anyway, you couldn't build a road then, So.
The Bulletin was firmly against this idea, mainly because the narrowest point was well south of San Francisco and would link to very rural areas on the East Bay. So it's like rural area to rural area. Scond to do.
It's not helping anybody. It's like where we currently have the bridges at the bottom of the day, like.
That Sano Bridge would be like where the Sanitaeio Bridge is. So Emperor Norton springs into action. He called for a bridge between San Francisco and Oakland via what is now You're ba Buena Island. It was Goat Island at the time. Boom Yeah. Then he doubled down and he demanded an underwater tunnel from San Francisco to Oakland.
He nailed the Bart Tunnel.
Room.
People thought he was crazy, or like crazier than he already was. Sure, but history, as you said, bears him out. So the San Francisco Oakland Bay Bridge opened on November twelfth, nineteen thirty six, sixty four years after he argued for the exact same thing in the exact same place. You're bre Buena Island at all. The trans By Tube for Bay Area Rapid Transit BART opened September sixteenth, nineteen seventy four.
That is a full one hundred and two years after he called for an underwater rail tunnel connecting Oakland San Francisco.
He's like a Jules Vern he just saw it before other people said no.
I mean, granted, not all of his proclamations were serious.
Naturally.
August thirty, first, eighteen seventy, he'd decreed, quote, let there be peace socially under penalty of grabbing the first young lady we can get our hands on. We command the ladies to forthwith supply us with an empress. Wait, what he's just like, find me a girlfriend.
He's like, by decree, get me a woman. No, get me a girlfriend, and he's asking the ladies to find him one wrestle.
Yeah, I love this social commentary in the San Francisco Chronicle from eighteen sixty five. Quote. We have received the following quote unquote proclamation from Emperor Norton, and presume that the fact of it having reference to operatic manners furnishes the reason of the chronicle being selected on this occasion as the medium for propagating the imperial will. So here it is the man that has no music in his soul is fit for treason, stratagem, and spoils. Let no
such man be trusted. The Emperor's royal will and pleasure is that all his lady subjects should take their husbands and friends to the opera and refine and improve the public taste. The nation that supports music shows an advancement in civilization and refinement twenty one December eighteen sixty five, Norton the First.
As a lady subject, Do you.
Agree, amen, Yes, I totally agree with that. There's this nonsense from September of eighteen seventy quote. Whereas we have been informed that one phil Magilder alamagazumum wang doodlum Larium Murriam is engaged plotting with conspirators to usurp our prerogatives and is a traitor to our person and scepter. And whereas all movements of such nature tend to weaken the stability of our government at home and cause it to
fall into the contempt and ridicule with foreign nations. Now, therefore, we Norton the First Dio Gratia, Emperor of the United States and Protector of Mexico, hereby decree that Philip Magilder Alama Gazulam wang doodlum Larium Murriam be appointed chief of Police to ex Emperor Louis Napoleon Boudaparte, and that be forthwith leave our realm to fill such appointment.
Frands like you go be.
The police achievement.
Friend.
I feel like there's some inside city joke here that I can't decode the name. I don't know who he's mocking whatever. You know, So he's going after someone who's like, you know who you are?
Everybody know.
Yeah, And that's what I find with a lot of old papers is they make statements and obviously are referencing something else that everyone knows about.
Anyone. What was I think it's like kind of like the Becky with the good hair. It'd be really hard to know what that means in the future.
Yeah, So what was ebraor Norton's life like on the day to day when he's writing all these proclamations. I'm so glad I asked you to ask that he started his morning by reading every single local paper, and there were more than just a few. Busy Yeah, and they need stroll around the city dressed in Imperial garb. So he wore a regimental uniform, sometimes a Union uniform, sometimes a Confederate uniform.
He's just like, I got a bunch of these.
Yeah, You're like whatever looked most official to him that day. He get the uniforms is like hand me down donations from the army base at the Presidio. And so he carried this huge hand carved walking stick, and when he was feeling fancy, he'd put on oversized gold epaulets on his uniform okay, and he'd carry a sword instead of the walking stick. And he wore a.
Beaver hat brandished or like in a saber.
Like in a saber.
Okay, So it's it's on his hip. He's not like walking around like waving a somebody would.
Like maybe gesticulate with it. Occasionally he wore a beaver hat with an ostrich How much this exactly he had is huge, yeah, huge ostrich plume in his hat. He always wore a carnation on his lapel is any meaning well, no flores would give him day old flowers that were beyond their cell by day, and so he would. They would just you know, as a.
Courtesy to them.
He wore shoes that he cut holes in his own shoes to relieve his corns.
Oh god.
Yeah. So in the afternoons he would go to the library and he read books there or he worked on his prop.
Clamation reader the Emperor.
Yeah, he played chess at the library.
And now with a regular partner or just anybody.
He'd go. In the evenings, he would go to like public debates or lectures.
Yeah, talking series.
Maybe he would sometimes go to the theater because the owners of the theaters held a prime seat for him on all opening nights. Really, yeah, he had his own He lived on other people's charity. So the Masons of which he had been a member in his original days, his old and his old business partners, they all paid his rent at the boarding house. The yeah, citizens bought him meals and drinks and like paid his general living expenses. He referred to these as taxes.
I mean, he's going to be like an honor. If you see him in a restaurant, you go over and.
Like let me, or the owners like please no sit. And he.
Wanted to be a holy I don't even need money.
But so like he started printing up his own promisory notes. They can in all these different denominations, So.
He made his own money.
Yeah, the notes were payable at seven percent interest in eighteen eighty I don't know, and most places in the city honored it as legal tender. And he was listed in the local directory and in the eighteen seventy census as emperor emperor nor in.
The first and do you think people are exchanging them? Like you know, knowing that, like, oh, this will be good for you. If I can do this, you can then spend it over.
I think I'll just eat the cost or whatever. But I've got this.
Nobody's actually second time.
I think it was just only from him.
You only want to get him from me.
You know, he was good for business totally. So imagine tourist shops sold little plaster figurines of him?
Are you kidding?
Because people were reading about him in.
The paps no national internet exactly.
So he lit his boarding house was at six twenty four Commercial Street, which was a nine by six room. It cost him fifty nine by six, nine by six, no closet, a little wash based.
Nine by six and lie down in one direction.
That block of Commercial is now named after him. In fact, you and I went to the dedications they renamed it. Do you know who worked three doors down at the morning call newspaper?
Ok, I cheat and say I don't say it? Is it Mark Twain?
Yes? It is Samuel Clemens. He was a huge fan of the Emperor.
I love that. Yeah, and he knows you know. It's like, how do you never appreciate this?
Exactly? Let's take a break and we'll get to the actual crime. I mean, we'll have some side quests first, but I do promise you a crime back in a flash.
Zaren Elizabeth, We're back.
One of my favorite Emperor Norton tales is about his dogs, Bummer and Lazarus.
Yeah.
So Bummer and Lazarus. They are these two straight dogs who became beloved local celebrities in San Francisco during the eighteen sixties. They were known for their absolutely remarkable rat catching abilities. They had like street smarts, and they were really bonded together, and they were pretty much like the most famous dogs in the city's history. They were featured in newspaper columns and cartoons, especially those by Samuel Clemens.
He wrote about him, Bummer was this like shaggy black Newfoundland or Newfoundland terrier mix who earned his name from bumming food from butchers and saloon patrons. Oh they like they you know, sitting at the bar and they're like, have a pickle. Oh, they're so cute. It's a big old, big old buddy. He became well known in the city around eighteen sixty because he was like an amazing rat killer. Like they'd turn him loose into a building and then like he'd kill fifty rats and kind out. Yeah, so
a rat problem. They had a huge were probably in like basements of bars and restaurants and stuff. So Lazarus was a smaller mixed breed dog. He entered the picture when Bummer rescued him from a dogfight in eighteen sixty two. So Lazarus was like badly wounded. Bummer nursed him back to health, like in a doorway, hence the name, you know, Lazarus who was raised from the dead. So the pair they're inseparable. Newspapers like the Daily Morning Call.
How did Bummer nurture Lazarus? I mean are you talking like?
Yeah, like treated the wounds and then went out and would bum food and bring it back and then cuddle around Lazarus and just nursed him back cool. So like the Daily Morning Call, the Daily Alta, California, they published all these stories about the dogs, and they treated him like characters in a serialized novel. And at the time then street dogs were like often rounded up and euthanized.
Bummer and Lazarus got official immune due to their popularity and how useful they were, and then it was extended to other dogs later when Lazarus was once arrested by a new dog catcher. There was this crazy public outcry and they got released the exactly. So over the years, stories emerged that Emperor Norton had adopted or was like always accompanied by Bummer.
And Lazarus to travel together.
Yeah, and like he treated them as his imperial guard dogs or companions, and like in some illustrations at the time, the three are shown walking together, with Bummer and Lazarus flanking the emperor as he patrolled the streets.
Imagine three of them.
Here's the thing, like, there's no really like reliable contemporary evidence that he actually owned or cared for them, Like no one the city owned Bummer.
And last put them together.
Yeah, but like you know, contemporary accounts about Bummer and Lazarus showed them as like more attached to the local bar scene, but they crossed paths frequently, and they all were in the same central name around Portsmouth Square and Montgomery.
So they were all characters in the area.
So yeah, and so this idea of them as a trio became like this popular legend, particularly after they died. So people at the time did think, like, you know, we see them together, but all these editorial cartoonists use them as as symbols of a bygone era after they were all gone. So, if you will indulge me, then I want to make this lore into cannon.
Canon.
So I want to say that the Emperor had a connection to street dogs. Yeah, so that said, Saren, close your eyes.
Oh you're going to do it.
I'm going to do it too. I want you to picture it. It's January twenty first, eighteen sixty seven. It's a typical gray day in San Francisco, the city that knows how it rained yesterday, but today is just heavily overcast and drizzling. That place where fog is toying with the idea of becoming rain. The sound of a fog horn pushes through the low, gray, flannel sky. You're standing on the corner of Montgomery and Washington in San Francisco.
More than one hundred years later there would be a giant, pyramid capped skyscraper where you stand, taller than you could ever imagine. It's impressive today though, built in eighteen fifty three. Where you stand is the largest commercial building west of the Mississippi, four stories and home to studios and apartments for writers, including Mark Twain, Brett Hart and later Ambrose Bears,
Robert Louis Stevenson, Jack London, George Sterling, Emma Goldman. Carriages roll by, their horses, huffing and snorting as they stroll toward Telegraph Hill. The footfall of passers by creek on the boards of the elevated wooden sidewalk. Some as they pass pat you on the head. See Zarin, You're a stray dog named punk. Everybody knows and loves you. Bummer and Lazarus under Who's rat catching Tutelid you trained passed
on a few years ago. You uphold their tradition of vermin elimination, as well as companionship to the real leader of this great city, Emperor Norton. You stand today right next to him. He's a little worse for wear right now. Is current uniformist really threadbare? He stinks and his hands and face are dirty. They're smudged with ink. After an all night proclamation writing session, you sense a disturbance in the force. You look up and see a quote special
officer approaching. His heavy steps match the dull look behind his eyes, armand barbier. You've had run ins with him before you let out a low, soft growl. Special officers aren't actual cops. They're auxiliary guys, basically goons hired by the fat cats and the business owners to watch over their stuff. Unlike the cops, he has no respect for the likes of you. He derives great pleasure from kicking a stray dog right in the ribs or stepping on the tail of a wayward cat. Basically, he's the worst.
He reaches the corner where you and the Emperor stand. He holds out his trunch in a thickly lacquered billy club if ever there was one, and pokes it at the Emperor, smashing his carnation. Two lone pale pink flower petals detach and flutter to the ground, landing in the grimy gutter. Move along, there, you bum Barbier, says, you. Growl again. The rent a cop looks down at you and makes an attempt to kick you in the shanks with his blocky, muddy boot. You're too quick and screwed away,
leaping to the other side of the Emperor. You won't abandon your friend in this moment. The Emperor clears his throat and announces to you that he is nort In, the first Emperor of these United States and Protector of Mexico. He doesn't appreciate being spoken to in such low terms, nor, he says, will he tolerate such man handling and rough attention. You move along now, or I'll charge you with vagrancy, you filthy hobo. Barbier grunts. The Emperor ignores the officer,
regally turning away from him with a raised chin. Look here, you, the officer shouts, grabbing the Emperor by the elbow. A carriage pulls to a stop, and the driver, a wells fargo courier, looks down at the action. Everything all right here, he calls out, mind your own business, pal barks the officer. The courier pauses for a moment and then rolls on, looking back a few times. As he makes his way
down the block. The foghorn sounds again. The officer begins to pull the Emperor down the street, ready to shove him down the block, when a crisp dollar bill falls from his imperial pocket. The officer freezes. He reaches into the Emperor's pockets and pulls out more bills, a good wat of cash. He looks at the emperor with confusion than irritation. Why you ain't no bum running around dressed like a tattered clown and carrying all this cash. You
must be crazy. We can't have your types on these streets. Mister I hereby arrest you on the charge of lunacy. You're coming with me, And with that he begins to drag the silent but dignified Emperor Norton down the block toward the police. You look down the block and see that the courier has stopped again and is watching the scene from atop his buggy. You take off down the road, letting out sharp barks as you race at full speed. When you reach the carriage, you leap into the shotgun seat.
You stare at the courier and he nods at you. Good boy. He says, let's go get help. We got to save the emperor. So Zarin, the Emperor was taken to the station, booked on a charge of lunacy really yeah, and scheduled to be approved by a judge for transfer to the state insane asylum in Stockton. Damn yeah. So the press gets win to this though, and there is
absolute outrage, like people just lose it. The Bulletin wrote a scathing editorial quote, in what can only be described as the most dastardly of errors, Joshua A. Norton was arrested today. He's being held on the ludicrous charge of lunacy, known and loved by all true San Franciscans as Emperor Norton, this kindly monarch of Montgomery Street, is less a lunatic than those who have engineered these trumped up charges. As they will learn, his Majesty's loyal subjects are fully apprized
of this outrage. Yeah, and then the Daily Alta chimes in, quote, Norton was in his day a respectable merchant, and since he has worn the Imperial purple, he has shed no blood, robbed nobody, and despoiled the country of no one, which is more than can be said of any of his
fellows in that line. WHOA yeah, right. So the police chief, Patrick Crowley, he knew he was going to have a riot on his hands if they shipped Emperor Norton off to Stockton, So so he immediately releases Norton issues and apology. The Emperor, ever, the gentleman, announced in the papers an imperial pardon for armand Barbier, that special officer who busted him. He's a gentleman. And it was also from that day forward that police officers saluted the Emperor when he passed
them on the street. We look bad the door, and that extends to today's historical reenactor. So it was on the cool, dreary, rainy evening of Thursday, January eighth, eighteen eighty, that the Emperor bid his city farewell. He was on his way to attend a regular monthly debate of the Hastings Society at the Academy of Natural Sciences. He was almost there, is just across the street, when he collapsed on the sidewalk and died. He was sixty one years old.
So the next day, January ninth, the San Francisco Morning Call ran an obituary with the headline Imperial ashes quote on the reeking pavement, in the darkness of a moonless night, under the dripping rain, and surrounded by a hastily gathered crowd of wandering strangers, Norton the First, by the grace of God, Emperor of the United States and Protector of Mexico, departed this life. Other sovereigns have died with no more
of kindly care. Other sovereigns have died as they have lived, with all the pomp of earthly majesty, but death having touched them. Norton the first rises up the exact peer of the haughtiest king or kaiser that ever wore a crown. Perhaps he will rise more than the peer of most of them. He had a better claim to kindly consideration
than that his lot. Quote forbade to wade through slaughter to a throne and shut the gates of mercy on mankind through his harmless proclamations can always be traced an innate gentleness of heart, a desire to affect uses, and a courtesy, the possession of which would materially improve the powerful living princes whose names will naturally suggest themselves.
I like the how respectful they were, and I got to the essence of his value to the city and to all of us in comparing him to the real.
Leaders, that he could be an example totally. So. The Chronicle published coverage of his funeral with the headline leis more the king is dead. He died with six dogs and no personal effects to his name. The members of the Posh Pacific Club, they all chipped in to give him this regal sending off. Ten thousand people attended the funeral in wake Damn. The line to pay respects to the coffin snaked out the door and down the street.
The cops had to come to manage the crowd, and the crowd was a cross section of the city, right, So there were the elites, the criminals, the clergy, the banker's maids, clerics, ladies who lunch, all ages, all origins, people of all ethnicities, all walks of.
Life, all the true San Franciscos, true San.
Francisco's, but also in the true San Francisco the majority of the mourners were everyday workers. Yes, the people who kept the city humming. They loved him and believed in him. So five years after his death, Mark Twain published Adventures of Huckleberry Finn. The character of the King is modeled after Emperor Norton. The Emperor also appears at as the.
King in The Duke from Huckway Finn. Yes, totally.
The Emperor also appears as himself in Robert Lewis Stevenson's novel The Wrecker. He's in there. In nineteen thirty four, San Francisco moved all the residents of its cemeteries except for the one of the Presidio to Colma of the city because they'd run out of room, and so the city,
the city's only seven miles by seven months trained. Yeah, and so in that great cemetery eviction, Emperor Norton's remains were moved from the Masonic Cemetery to Woodlawn Cemetery in Colma, and they had like a whole reburial ceremony with full civic and military honors and a new headstone. Yeah. And there are those who visit the grave often, like as a pilgrimage. One of those groups friends of the show you mentioned him earlier, the Ancient and Honorable Order of
e Calampus Vitis. They made an appearance in Our Drake's Plate episode Clampers. And so that is my ode to weirdness, my elegy for the fringe, my celebration of the flyers of the freak Flag. Thank you for indulging me. This was a humphort episode for me, very nice comfort escapist episode. Saren, what's your ridiculous takeaway?
A couple of things I learned even though we take the tour, I still learned stuff in this episode, So thank you for doing research.
The tour is great because it's focused mostly on San Francisco history, but you're like, he tells it through the eyes of the Emperor. It's I cannot recommend.
I recommend it. You can find it online. Just look up the Emperor Norton's Tour Walking Tour.
Yes, so good, so good.
Also, I did have one though, that I think is interesting to the point you've made or the points you made throughout, which is possibly, in my opinion, one of the greatest Americans ever lived is somebody who named himself Emperor.
And I like the I of that well, and he encapsules I know you and I have talked to about like what this notion of America or the United States is, and that I always classify it as you'r the Walt Whitman version of it. The witmen esque version of America is what I subscribe to. And like this vast possibility and vast capabilities and potentials, vast community and very inclusive,
you know. And so that's what Norton locks into that of like here he's got this whitman esque version of our best selves and our most giving selves, and in taking a title. He's absolutely giving and shining a light. I mean, he's obviously he knows he's not going to dissolve Congress. But when you make those kind of statements that it shines a light for people. So and you know, my god, you gotta have fun exactly know.
What I mean? Like, you gotta have fun in this life.
One chance at it. So anyway, I like it, Dave, I need to talk back. That's my takeaway.
I want.
You knew do want about a school group because I've heard of it and you need to do one.
Thank you so much for this podcast. I love it.
It's our pleasure is That's what it's called. A skull group or just find a group about skulls.
Skulls all right, we's like skull and bones.
I'm gonna look up a skull group and start there.
Let's do it. Okay, We're on it, dude. Uh that's it for today. You can find us online at ridiculous Crime dot com. We're also at Ridiculous Crime on Instagram, Blue Sky. We're on YouTube now Ridiculous Crime Pod with just the most adorable uh illustrations, animations, I should say or whatever. Both of them drawings Pictures Pictures Email us Ridiculous Crime at gmail dot com, leave it talk back
on the iHeart app reach out. Ridiculous Crime is hosted by Elizabeth Dutton and Zaren Burnett, produced and edited by Dave Cousten, Emperor of BofA, starring Annalise Rutger as Judith. Research is by expert in uniform repair and hat plumage, refreshing Marissa Brown. The theme song is by Thomas Lee, protector of Mexican Food, and Travis Dutton, Protector of Mexican Spirits. Host wardrobe is provided by Botany five hundred. Guest hair
and makeup by Sparkleshot and mister Andre. Executive producers are Pacific Club ad Hoc Funeral Fundraising Committee co chairs Ben Boleen and Noel Brown.
Gigs Quime Say It One More Time, Geequius Crime.
Ridiculous Crime is a production of iHeartRadio four more Podcasts my Heart Radio, visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.