Give My Regards to Javasu

kicked diet coke not too long ago. I used to drink a lot of it and it spend a couple of months and I happened. What water that stuff? I only drink water and iced coffee. Now, Hm, you know, run and clean? Okay, let me tell you something else. It's ridiculous, all right. Later on me chasing century clout and conning the public by pretending to be a princess from an imaginary island. I like that me too. This is Ridiculous Crime, a podcast about absurd and outrageous capers, heists,

and cons. It's always murder free and ridiculous. So is Naron, I have a question for you. Have you ever told a significant lie about yourself to other people? Have I ever? In fact, one of my best friends I made our like our friendship was made based on a lie. Yeah. So what happened was who is orientation in college? It was like the first day, like your orientation, and there's this bus that there's loading students. I'll think, we'll take you down to the each and have like the whole thing.

So I'm like, cool, I'll roll into the beach. You know I love beaches, so you do moon dogging. So I get on this bus moondogging in it up and uh, I see this all these really hot Spanish girls at the back of the bus and a bunch of Spanish dudes. They're all like, also hot if you're into Spanish dudes, right, So just a bunch of attractive Spaniards are in the back of this bus and there's one dude, this Korean dude sitting there in the Chicago Cubs hat talking in

Spanish to them. No. I understand enough Spanish to get around, but not enough to really do my thing. So I went up and told him, hey, man, are you from Chicago. He's like, yeah, and so I then told him I was from Chicago and we bonded over that so that way I could go and talk to all those hot Spanish girls and by hanging out with him, and we went down to the beach and we all partied together and it worked out great. He and I became the

best of friends. Did he ask you what neighbor? Oh? Yeah, I know Chicago well enough that I could like name high schools and stuff, But you could name high schools in Chicago like New Trier High. I knew like plenty of Lincoln Lincoln Wood anyway, so that's disturbing, Thank you. I just listened to two stories. I had all these details. Anyway, he meets my mother for the first time. What's his first question? Hey, what part of Chicago do you live in? And I was like, oh right, I forgot i'd ever

tell him. So that's what we found at the truth we never lived in Chicago. And he looked at me like the darts in his eyes. How long was this from the bus ride to the reveal? Probably ten months. Wow, that's a long time to keep you know, I wasn't committed to it. I forgot you talk like that would have been the fun part that if I would do it again, I would definitely be like, Okay, all right, lying, Well, we've all done that. We've all kind of painted ourselves

as someone else, right, especially when we're young. Oh yeah, totally. And we exaggerate, we fabricate, so like people in their resumes, why do we do that? I'm good at XCEL proficient, extraficient, But like, why do we do that? We do that to make ourselves more interesting, or to get further in life, or to avoid questions. So we think about people who don't tell the truth or who exaggerate, and I think a really good example of that is a lady named Mary Wilcox. Mary Wilcox no w I L L C

O c K S stop, I'm gonna stop. So Mary was born She's born in in England, in a little village in Devonshire, just north of Exeter. Is this making any no is anywhere close to frog? Well? Oh my gosh, she's like right near frog, well super close to frog. Well she's really eccentric, prone to depression, rad little kid. And but you know the time, girl, and the thing

is is that she's not rich. She's you know, her dad's a cobbler and her mom spins wool and she also the mom like we did corn fields or something or wheat fields like English peasants viage shoes one right, and here she's eccentric and prone to depression. But I think the only the rich are allowed to be eccentric, especially in England. Yeah, anywhere then you kind of otherwise you look down upon, but you get to be weird. Oh yeah, if you're you're rich eccentric. If you're poor,

you're crazy. Right, So, but she wants more in life, you know, like she sees the world in a different way. She's this crazy wanderlest She just wants to see the world, which really was not open to her at that time. It's difficult. You're stuck in Devonshire in correct. Yeah, that's when she came into this world. But she she kind of figures out how she can navigate that world and

make it interesting for her. She learns how to read, which was a big deal then for someone and no and like peasants, and you know, it just wasn't it wasn't something that was sort of on offer. I would imagine. Um. She also learned how to swim, and that was a big deal. You know, they preferred their their poor people drowning. And so she gets a gig as a servant. That

makes total sense. You can see that happening. And next door to where she is working, there's this Jewish family and first she'd be friends their servant, and then she befriends the whole family and they, um, they teach her how to write, and they teach her all in English, in English, but they teach her also they teach her the Hebrew alphabet, and they teach her all this really cool stuff, the Jewish diet, and they just sound like

this really neat family that it's just gets along with everybody. Um. She gets fired from her gig though, because she's not she's a little bit flaky, you know, she's kind of a daydreamer. Uh. And so after she's fired, she gets arrested because she stole a piece of cloth and she do is going down how fast? Yeah, And she started to get more and more desperate. She dresses herself like a man and gets a job as a footman on

the back of a like a servant. Yeah. On and h one night she's in this snowstorm and she's trying to make her way back to where she works, the home where she works, and she's all wet and cold and like shivering, and they take her in and they go to help change out of her clothes and they're like, that's not a man, she's not. She's so cold, she's so cold, she's like chattering at her teeth, and she's trying to like I did, don't do, and then they like strip her down, thinking it's just going to be

some dude. No, So then she gets fired again, and I write around that time. She then gets married, but it's me and then also, oh it's not a love marriage. Yeah, she gets married. She only married, she's only married to the guy for nine months, and she has a kid. So what that makes me think is that that's why she got married. So she has a kid. She marries the guy whose last name is Baker, and so she becomes Rry Baker keeps us in mind, are you getting

are you okay? Good? You're writing it down. She has to give the kid up because she's so broke, and you know, the guy splits. The kid passes away not long after he's given up, So it's just like a really hard luck story. She starts to sort of moving around. She makes her way up to Bristol, which is north of where she was from near Wales, and she gets lodging with this woman named Mrs Neil, and yes you do, Mrs Neil. Now she's totally desperate to go to America.

That's her absolute dream. And in the meantime she's entertaining Mrs Neil's kids by making up languages and stuff like that. And one day she's down at the docks and she sees these French women women down by the docks. I don't know what they were doing. It's weird for a weird place for French French women. Long we're still coastlined down by the docks. Yeah, they're just you know, hanging out, vibing. They were there for the chowder. Um. But Mary notices

that they're getting all this attention. Now I think I know why they're getting but it marries you. She's like, oh, they're so exotic, they're so interesting, and she sees all the attention they get. So she dresses up and goes down to the docks and is all all hall like making up languages and pretending to be French or like speaking with a French accent. And she's asking for money and she's getting it. People are like, oh, you're so

beautiful and exotic. Here, here's this a tuppance, there's here's that I don't know what they're giving up. And she's like, I'm going to save up this money to make it to the US of a this new nation that's out there. Um so here this is just building it up. Right if you were in her position, like, if you wanted to go somewhere and you had absolutely nothing, what would you do? What do you mean, like, am i her? Am I a woman in England? Or am I a

woman in England? Yeah, it would be a different story. Like you in England, black man in England, I have a very different So I'm like, okay, what am I stealing? And how I'm getting to the box and stealing a boat? My hiding. So it's just something to think about, think about what her options were. And then we're going to take a quick commercial break, okay, because I'm gonna need to do some math. Yeah, you're definitely going to. Then we're gonna come back and I'm going to let you

know how Mary brought the ridiculous Okay, so we're back. Hi, Hey, how you doing. I want you to picture this. It's Thursday, April three, eighteen. A woman staggers into Almondsbury, England, into the town square. It's Mary, but she's no longer Mary. How does that work? I'm about to tell you. She's wearing all black and a turban. She's learned to tie a turban completely, Yeah, she's learned to tie a turban. She's it's very sort of Mrs Howell from Gilligan's Island

in my mind. And so she's got this turban on. It's her outfit has almost like an Asian styling to it. So it's she looks way out of place in Almondsbury and everyone is talking about her amazing eyebrows. They are on early fleet. They're beautifully arched. I'm imagining them as those nineties really thin, like oh yeah, probably not. Maybe they're like maybe she just penciled them on like wicked heavy. But she got like chardon eyebrows are like super high. Okay,

that's what is That's what she's doing. But she's also got the turban. She's a looker, I wish, oh yeah. But she's also tired and hungry, and she had like a couple coins on her, and one of them is a fake sixpence, which just fun fact at the time counterfeit money. If you had it, it could be punishable by death. Wait, just on your person, not that you made it or you were to be using it. You have it possession is yeah, that sounds okay, We're going.

So she's got some coins, she has some soap. She has a little piece of soap wrapped up in a cloth and like pinned to her outfit. Is there some keep clean? I thought maybe she was like writing on soap. I'm from I don't know about she was going around soaping people's windows. She knows how to write, and so she because she's stumbling in and she's really not saying anything, and she's just just like disheveled mess. They take her to the house of the county magistrate and his name

is Samuel Warrel. Don't worry about it, and the county magistrates basically the old school sheriff. Yeah, and I don't know, I mean hose also like the lawyer these the law of the land. Uh. So he and his wife have this Greek servant who speaks all these languages and none of them, none of the three of them can understand what she's saying. She's like la and they're like, oh,

that doesn't what can you keep going? So they finally figure out that her name is Caribou, but not like the animal like c A R A b oo, so it's like the heart, the boo of my heart. So she's like pointing at herself, all Caribou, Cariboo, like whatever you say, lady, and everyone is trying to decode what she's saying. So like travelers come through there sending out messages like send us your language experts, and people show

up there. I don't know what she's saying wild. She becomes like a challenge, like totally she's the she's the local puzzle. Finally, this Portuguese sailor comes to town, which like you know, I suppose happens, and he says, oh, I can I can figure out what she's saying. It's not a pure language, it's a mix. It's some from the coast of Sumatra and other kind of aisles from the east. And she tells him that she's from an island called Java su Okay and that she was abducted

by pirates and that she jumped overboard and swam to shore. Okay, and there she is. She's okay. So she's in Java, Java Sue, sorry, Java Su, speaking her weird language. She's abducted by pirates. The pirates then take her somewhere to the Atlantic, where she jumps overboard. I would hope, so unless it's like five miles off and she's one of

those long distance swimmers. So basically she's had to cross the or either around like the Cape of Africa to the Cape of Good Hope, South Africa, and then you come back up around the top and then she's got to get up like trade winds, cross the equator and then like get all the way up to England. That's like heck of a journey. Yeah, that's her. And then at the end of that she's like, you know what, I'm getting off this boat. But I've got my soap and I've got my phony coins. So she she that's

how she said. Now we're she in the Portuguese sailor and on this and he's like, oh, no, I can understand, Like if he's saying she speaks this mix of languages, don't know, he sounds fishy. Have you seen an istar? Yes, there's the scene with Dustin Hoffman is doing the fake language and Warren Beatty comes down and he pretends he understands him that's going on. And I think that she looked like Warren Beatty and he looked exactly like Dustin Hoffman in the in the like the lithograph in my

head of Warren Batty was wearing a turban. So wait, is that her life story? Um? So she he probably was running his own con the Portuguese. He probably wasn't even a Portuguese sailor. He's just you know, he's from Devonshire. Yeah, and he's just pretending. So. But the thing is is that everyone has this like hunger for the exotic, right. They want to have this interesting person that's come into

their little village life and the worlds. The magistrate and his wife are skeptical, but they decide, you know what, we're all in. We believe her. This is great, We've got this weird oddity in town. I think too that this is like, this is the Georgian era. What does that mean? I mean, I know what it means. What does it mean? Well, I think what's more important it's also the Romantic era, when you're talking about literature and

the arts, the Romanticism. So the writers and poets of the day words Worth, Shelley Blake keats byronic huge influence as those are the Romantic poets, um and they they think that deep feelings are the most real thing, more than reason, and everything is sort of pastoral. And they also there's like a huge lean on orientalism in the Romantic era. So you have like Samuel T. Coleridge's Kubla Kan super heavy on the orientalism, and it becomes really,

you know, big thing with the public. There's always all these exotic settings, supernatural, exotic, extravagant events, the characters, all this other stuff. Right, So keeping that in mind of what's kind of the zeitgeist of the time, Mary Slash Caribou starts telling people she was born in China, and I guess she's using her made up language to convey this. She says she's born in China. She says her dad is named Jessu Mandu. He's a nobleman. Natural, yeah, super

Chinese name. Says my dad was a farmer always yeah, just like when people are reincarnated, it's yeah. And she said her mom was a Malay woman and she her mom was killed in a fight between cannibals. Between two cannibals were fighting, and as she tried to stop it, feeling like she had like a pirate adventure romantic era um refrigerator magnet side, she's just thrown up. She's a pirates, cannibals Chinese nobleman. Now this is also, this is this

English woman. I don't know how she's passed for Chinese. Well, I mean, I guess if you don't travel much, you didn't know what Chinese looks like, a little bit like, oh well this this must be Yeah, she said so, but here's some other stuff. Right, so we know she knows how to read, right, she knows the Hebrew alphabet. She knows how to swim. She's also a really good fencer. Why is she where is she getting less? I don't know. So she's a fencer. She can use a bow and arrow.

Of course, I'm not even a question anything anymore. So, I mean, this is the thing is that you see this woman and she's telling these crazy stories. But at the same time she's got these mad skins, crazy skills. Yeah, I'm with it. So it's like what you can believe her. Yeah, she's really in the skinny dipping Okay, who is it that? Really? She also prayed to this god that she called Allah Talah. She just always takes something and goes just to the left of it. I've heard about Allah. What if it

doubled up? She's like, really know enough about Islam, so I'll do an islam adjacent Ala to law. They stole from our people, but from my people, and they took that name. Like this incredible. You know, she's amazing grouping of cultures that she's compiled, I suppose through her reading. But again, how do you know how to fence? But also this is like what eighteen fifteen, there's very little known.

There's very few people could be like that's actually not true, right, But she would challenge people to sword fights and like apparently she could fight with a sword in one hand and a dagger in the other. She's like fighting Pirates style. Yeah, totally her. And so do we know if she actually ever was with pirates? No, the timing doesn't work that she when she walks basically from Bristol and then it's like help, help, somebody help, I just washed up on shore.

She shows up like seventy years past the end of the age of piracy, so it's like, yeah, an old pirate new she's like a leftover it was. It's like you know those the guys like in World War two who didn't know the war was over and there, Yeah, totally, So like she's on one of those pirate ships that they're just like like, why isn't there anything good? We're lost, man, I've been drinking their own pe for like a decade. Sorry,

so help me a lot to law. Uh. They keep trying to decode her language because don't forget she still is acting like she doesn't speak English the whole time, the whole time. And yeah, so she starts to you know what, I'll write down my language. I am supposing that we've retained the Portuguese sailor this whole time. So he's like, let me act as the translator. She says, she'll write it down. So she starts writing down her language. They send it off to Oxford to be like where

where is this from? Help us? And they you know, there's a down at Oxford in a row. He looks it over and he gives this official verdict. What is it? He calls it humbugs Oxford. You know, they have nothing better to do than sit there and go no, big nope. And this news comes back and people are still like, she's amazing, isn't she This Chinese pirate queen. She's so convincing. So she's acting like she doesn't understand English, and she's eavesdropping on what people are saying about her, so she

can kind of know what they're expecting. And like someone's like, well, if she is really from that region, she's probably I'm not going to drink alcohol, and so she would turn it down. So when they come in and they like try and tricker like here have some brandy, and she's like in her language, no, no, no, you know please no, A lot to law wouldn't allow it. And she's like, oh, well you know what she got us. So they're all talking in front of her like, oh, she doesn't understand

what we say, but she knows everything. She's also secretly studying these maps of like so that she can point things out, and people would come with documents and she's like reading them upside down because they think she can't read in English, and she's really sneaky. Then she starts

making these appearances in London. They're like sending her off to London as this amazing oddity, and she's getting into the papers and it's getting oh yeah completely, so she's like and they're like, oh my god, she's so amazing. And then she like runs around with a dagger and it really was and it doesn't take much. And so she's in the papers and she's just like getting more and more fame, which she knows she's got to love. And then Mrs Neil picks up a newspaper. Remember Mrs Nei,

oh yeah, you told me to remember her. Yeah, did you check your notes? So Mrs Neil reads about her and it's like, you know what, I'm going to Bristol, that little b I'm going down. She's just like she's I'm sure that she's like all mesmerized by this story. And then sees a picture of her and it's like no, no, no, no, no no, that's not Cariboo. No no, no, no, no, no, load up, everybody. She calls her footman, load up and

off they go. So the jig looks to be up that Cariboo has no idea that Mrs Neil has made. There's no way. So she's just you know, doing some light NiFe knife fighting in the yard and skinny dipping and doing her thing, and here comes Mrs Neil galloping. But maybe she's on lone horseback. She didn't load up a carriage. Yeah, just like she she put her pocketbook on and just got on the horse. Yeah. So I'm gonna leave you with that tension of Mrs Neil racing

to Bristol. Don't and think about that, and then we're going to take a short commercial break. So as I was saying, Mary Slash Princess Cariboo, my girl doing her thing, you know, she's naked in a lake and Mrs and then she drives off and reapplies her arched eyebrows, ties up her turban dagger. Yeah. The other thing too, is that like she was following like a vegetarian diet, which freaked people out then because meats such like a you know,

commodity of like it's a good thing. And she really liked curries and stuff really Yeah, so that was another thing. We're like, oh, so anyway, so she's just like eating a bowl of curry, some lentils. I just want to she just got out of the lake Mrs Neil walks into the house and let's pretend she just kicked the door and yeah, and she says, ah, Mary, why are you here? Wait a minute? She has all this time, and that's her entry line. I mean, you gotta come on.

I thought that was stone cold Mary. Why are you here? Mary? Why are you here? That's how I read it, And she has an American accent. It's crazy. Yeah, I'm with you, I'm with you. It just means like I would be like thinking about that line the whole way. Yeah, she was, and she just honed it. Her eyes narrowed when she said it, Mary, why are you here? There's so many ways that you can Yeah, why are you here? Why are you here? You can do that? Are you here? Mary?

The French? Mary comes clean? Because stone cold Mrs Neil came in, squinted at her, said, sounding exactly like Clint Eastwood, why are you here? And Mary's like, okay, fine, fine, She starts speaking English. Everyone's just a dog like. Their eyes went out of their faces. On springs. There's what people like. People are running around, little kid's hair caught on fire, Strangers are running into each other. It was chaos, pandemonium.

Cats and dogs living together. Everything comes crashing down for Mary Cariboo and the poor townspeople. Their worlds or doesn't. So now everybody knows that princess Herbs a fraud and everything is exposed. Mrs Neil's like, oh no, she's not a princess. Her dad's a cobbler. Oh no, her mom picks, you know, weeds out of a wheat field. She was once arrested for stealing a piece of cloths. This new petty as yeah, and so you know, everything's exposed, and

what do you think happened? What? What do you think happened to marry? At that point, the charming Portuguese gentleman returns to the story, whisks her away, puts her on her fishing vegetable, and they go down to the coast of the Iberian Peninsula and live happily ever after eating much better food that you know what Mary would have Mary would have really liked that. Yeah, but see it's not as not as bad as you think it'll be. Instead of having this blame and calling her a fraud,

everyone feels really bad for her. They pity her. They're like, oh man, she her life was so terrible. She had to make all this stuff up, this poor little you know, sprite Princess Cariboo. And the Press, the precursor to the Daily Mail, they're like, this is awesome, this is amazing, and they find it super amusing and entertaining. So they're writing all these pieces about how she pulled one over on all the rich people. And she's she's so talented because i mean, let's face it, she does have all

these crazy skills. Um. But they love they love that so many people fell for it. It was just like it. They looked at the people who fell for it as the idiots, and she was. She was a smart one who got one over on everybody. It's kind of a come up in's for the rich that everybody enjoys. Yeah, and the press is like, you know what, you guys were all asking for this to happen because you're so caught up in how magical and exotic things are and you want the latest weird stuff in your life. Well

this is what happens. So she's she's unscathed, right, So she has you know, all of her benefactors and land that have been parading her around and you know, treating her to all this stuff. They decide that they are going to help her reach her lifelong dream. Do you remember what her lifelong dream was? Yes, they do, yes, Okay, long time listener, first time call her. She wanted to go to America. America. Yes, she like she wrote the song that Neil Diamond would later record, Come and do

America exactly the very same. Think about it though, is like we've just gone through the war, just gone through the War of eighteen twelve. Oh yeah, fighting the British. Yeah, and she's like, give me out of here, I'm gonna go there and they'll love me. Then, so they put her on a ship to America with three chaperones. Three chaperones are they more like minders? There are three religious ladies. I guess they're just there to make sure she doesn't

wild out in America. I've never been chaperone. I don't know how it goes well or by three religious ladies. No less well, you don't know about that. So this is in June of eighteen seventeen. Now remember when did this first all go down? You said you were taking notes. Yes, yes, she was born in sev eighteen fifteen, I think is when she was going April of eighteen seventeen seventeen. So they put her on They put her on a boat

to America in June of eighteen seventeen. Account she only got away with it for two months, but it was the best two months. So she she gets to America and she goes to Philadelphia, a city brother we love. So she's all Caribou takes Philly. Um, she was not much of a success. There was a tough city, tough, tough town. They say through all batteries at people. Is

that where they have where's gritty? Yeah? He's the mascot for the note for the Philly Flyers, right, Yeah, so maybe she tried to perform in an early gritty costume and it's just tall went. I think Philly has just always been a really tough town. It's pretty amazing town. It's great. I love it, but it's it's saying it's a town. Everything that New York thinks about themselves Philly is Yeah, they are actually walking the walk Philly and

Jill Scott's from Philly, Chilly from Philly. Yeah. So here's Princess Caribou taking the stage. She's not really a financial success. She's just this weird oddity that people are like, why did I pay to see this woman like shadow box, you know, a pirate. I don't know. It's strange, So that kind of peters out. Then she decides to go to New York, New York City get a rope, so

she writes letters to the folks back home. She's complaining about the horrors of celebrity, right, Okay, so it's like she we know that she does not have a really strong relationship with the truth. So she goes over there and no one's really, you know, lauding her, and she's this kind of sideshow act. But I love that she's writing home, like, oh my god, I owe all. I am dogged by my fans. My fan base is just really strong. And I've been picturing her as Angelina Jolie

this whole time, and I think it works. Yeah, okay, just like the personality, the way she's like, I'm an eccentric and like I don't belong here, so I'm gonna speak a made up language. And then you go to New York goes I hate the celebrity yea. I wish they would leave me alone. They're like who Yeah, It's like the people who talk about their haters and no

one even knows who they are. I love when people do that for you, you know, thank you, Like I don't want to listen to the haters, Like people have no idea who you are, what you're doing, so that you don't even have dislikers. Yeah, Caribou was, she was on that on that vibe back then. So she wears out her welcome in New York because no one cares. She goes back to England. No one cares, especially for someone like her. But she decides to, you know, just

live her life. So she is reformed. She's no longer Princess Cariboo. She's back to being Mary, and she still Mary Baker, Mary Baker. Yeah, and she marries a really nice guy, has a baby girl baby you know, grows up, thrives um. She spends the rest of her life doing

a job. And take a guess. If you're a former Java supe princess who knows how to fight pirates in sword play and I'm good and close with a knife for close up work, yeah, I would say my next job is probably gonna be giving guided tours of the mermaids off the coast. That's close. That's close. She she sells leeches for the rest of her life, like surgeons,

I need something to believe. Yeah, but you know what the thing is in my mind, my imagined detail is that she gathers the leeches by skinny dipping, and then she gets out and it's like peel them from my buddy. No, I'm not skinny dipping, And then a bunch of leeches were attaching themselves to her body, like yeah, well, anyway, um, what is this Japanese animal? She went from having being like the local novelty to making her way to America and making it into the papers and such comes back

lives this life of anonymous leechmongering. And she got buried in an unmarked grave, so we can't even go lay some leeches on her headstone. But that's the story of Princess Caribou. There's an interesting in September of eighteen seventeen, so she'd already hoofed it back to England by then. This there's a newspaper in Newbern, North Carolina that ran this little piece. I'm going to read it to you. It's it's such a typical sentence structure of that time.

And Meanders takes his time Okay, are you gonna read it in like an accent? It's from North Carolina. I could do that, but I'm not going to. So the bubble, which during the last five or six weeks has formed a rich theme for the ridicule of every person who deserves credit for an ordinary share of common sense, has

at length burst. Miss Caribou, who talked heathen Greek, swam like a fish, dived like a duck, worshiped the sun, flourished a dagger, and ate curry, and they italicized Curry in the paper, proves to be neither more nor less than playing Mary Baker, the erratic child of honest parents in the humble village of with Ridge in the County of Devon m So. I thought that sums it up really nicely. Like here, you know, all these people who should have common sense, and like this her story is

totally illogical. They got caught up in it. She has all these skills, but she's just playing all Mary Baker, the curry eaten son, worshiping, dagger, flourishing duck, diving, fish, swimming, heathen Greek speaking Queen Mary. So she had a good six week run, and I really hope it gave her a lifetime of good memories. Oh yeah, I respect to charlottean game. What's your ridiculous takeaway here? Um, don't go swimming to attract leeches. Only if you have to dive

off a pirate ship, exactly. And if you get offered a chance on a pirate ship, don't jump off. Don't jump off, just stay on. She could have, well she didn't. Actually, Um, you know, Joan Didion said, we tell ourselves stories in order to live. Oh, it's one of my favorit quotes. And so we want life to be you know, interesting, exciting, and sometimes we know that they're just stories that we tell ourselves, but believing those lies makes us feel better. It's like I said, lying is good, no harm, no

foul on that one. Tell me beautiful lies, Tell me lies. Don't be sorry. That's beautiful, keep going not. You can find us online at at Ridiculous Crime on both Twitter and Instagram. If you have a tip about a ridiculous crime that you'd love to hear us yammer about, or if you want to tell us about a ridiculous crime that you've committed, please email us at ridiculous Crime at gmail dot com. So we will see you next time, and take care of yourselves, liars, and be good to

each other and lie pretty to each other. Ridiculous Crime is hosted by Elizabeth Dutton and Zaren Burnett, produced and edited by Crown Prince Dave Kusten. Research is by Countess Marissa Brown. The theme song is by Sir Thomas Lee and Travis Dutton, Fourth Duke of Flavortown. Executive producers are Captain Ben Bolland and Admiral Noel Brown. Ridiculous Crime is

a production of iHeart Radio. Four more podcasts to my heart Radio, visit the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.