Always on my Mind: The Theft of Albert Einstein’s Brain

I want to work with something that's going to help me get there. But what if that's like feedback of enthusiasm. You can see how many people are excited to try it. I wasn't too excited, but everybody seems so excited. I'm going to give it a go. Their excitement doesn't make me excited. You know. The other thing that I don't like is when people comment, well, I didn't like this recipe, but then again I substituted, and then they list like, instead of turkey, I used fellow, and then it's just

one thing after another. Well, of course it's not going to turn out it asked for two cups of flour, but I only had four tablespoons used us that. But it didn't really come out negative reviews. That is ridiculous. It's ridiculous, and my my opinions on it are ridiculous. Well, I kind of got it will be in a bonnet. Yeah, well I like that one. Actually it is. I don't really follow the recipe scene. It feels ridiculous. You're not recipe corps. No, no, well, I don't even know how

to read a recipe? Is all that stuff in the beginning, I'm like, when do we get to the rescipe words? Well, no, I mean that's the story. I read the whole story before I can get to like you. But you don't because now they a lot of times online they'll have jumped to recipe and I hit that so fast that I don't care about their journey. I just want the recipe. Yeah, I like that. Are you ready for the story? Have

a stolen Brain? No? Not really? Well this was That's what I got for you, So it's a good one. It also has a rep recipe. This features a great American road trip, stolen brain from a very famous person and the trip to reunite it with that man's granddaughter. Okay, so you're ready for part three of our trilogy of the stories of famous stolen body. So ready. This is Ridiculous Crime, a podcast about absurd and outrageous capers. He

and cons. It's always murder free and one ridiculous Elizabeth. Today, I would like to tell you the story of a man and his stolen brain. And that man's name is Albert Einstein. That's a brain right there, that's quite a big brain. Yeah. Now, just to get us started, have you ever thought about how much you're worth? I mean your your body, not like your like sense of like value, the street value of my body exactly. Look, yeah, I'll run it down. What you have, what you're working with?

All right, You've got a body. It's sixty oxygen carbon, ten percent hydrogen, nitrogen, and calcium by percent phosphorus. Then you've got some trace elements potassium, sulfur, odium, chlorine, magnesium, iron, iodine, silicone, a bunch of manganese, fluorine, copper, zinc, arsenic, aluminum, just

a bunch of stuff. Right now, if we set the prices for all these minerals, and we ignore the recent spike in rare earth mineral prices and inflation prices, and we just go off of like nas your body would be worth five dollars. That's generous. Yeah, not just your body, my body. Anybody's body is about worth five dollars. Mine might be worth a little more because I've all those percentages, but attitude, like a T shirt, does the gold or silver in my mouth count? Because I have gold and silver?

So I guess bump up. Like but when I asked all that, I don't really mean what is your body's worth? But like, let's just consider well, I mean we do put a price tag on body part, like you are walking fine like a black market kidney. Okay, I'm thinking living body. No, no, no, I mean, like you know, like individual you can put it on a scale body parts. So look at kidney, Like what will that run you about a couple of grands on the black market? Right? Yeah,

I would imagine it seems about right. I don't really know the prices. I don't talk to people who like harvest kidneys, but I read some new stories. I see the prices. Well, they're supply chain issues now and for are and with inflation, the prices have got have been going up. So Let's say you have, um, just one kidney, right, how much would one kidney be worth? Because you know it's gonna be very valuable to the person who's waiting for the transplant, right right, right, And we typically sell

functional organs on the black market. So basically the price and the value of that organ depends on how useful it is, right well, and how clean it is, how clean it is, So someone who doesn't really drink a lot of water and holds their p in a lot, their kidneys are not going to be very valuable. Are you looking at me? I feel like you're looking at me. Let's just say sometimes I run a little dark. I

think you're telling on yourself here. So let's just say you go like, there's a four day old kidney, right, the four day old kiddy. No nobody wants a four day o kiddy. You need a fresh kid You need

a fransplant. Right. So after a couple of days, no matter how good the kidney is, how about how clean the person is, how much water they drink, it doesn't matter because the kidney is going to go bad after a couple of days of the body right spoil, which we'll call it right now, let's flip it and let's say it doesn't matter we're not using the kidney for transplant. Let's just say we want to own the kidney because

it once belonged to Prince. It's Prince's kidney. How much for Prince his kidney on the open market right now? That totally changes thing. Even though it's just one kidney, it's still more valuable because of whose it was, right right, Okay? Essentially how much you think prince is kidney would be worth? I don't know. I think like it depends, I suppose on on what people want it for. Yeah, I think that's very key. Is it going to be sort of like freeze dried and then crushed pulverized into a dust

that people could snort? Is it going to be used? I was thinking, like you're going to crush it up and they give away a little pieces like the True Cross, and like the fans could all get a piece of their kidney. Oh yeah, they could sell that as a commemorative or you could blend that dust into like some purple paint and then paint your Chevy shovel Prince is kidney purple paint your Ford Taurus Prince Purple, Prince Kidney Purple, I like that likes going with I, you know, to

be on Shark Tank. You really should. I mean the business center you have, it's amazing. It's amazing. So now let's just go to our man of the hour, Albert Einstein. That's right. What do you think the value of, say, his brain would be on the open market. Now that's interesting because I would think that for research purposes that people are you laughing at me? I think that's honey. Research purposes are like we can just unlock the brain

and find the stuff. Well, I mean, like, what if go with me on this one here, seatbelt it go on. But if you look at Einstein's brain and then you cut it open and there's like gems inside, special brain gems that we didn't know existed. Oh snap, what if other people have the brain gems? How do we activate them? What if you cut it open and then a little man jumps out? This, by the way, would love this too. The cart is a little man who jumps out of the brain. See where I'm going with this. It makes

so much sense. I'm just waiting for you to get to the pineal gland and the seat of the soul and we'll just have all. Well, the issue of Albert Einstein's brain and what it's worth has actually been a debate for about almost a century. I found this out when I was researching. It turns out that the world famous Jewish physicist was a target of the Nazis, and they had designs on his head. In fact, so much

they put a price on his head. Now, according to the journalist Michael Patternettie or Paternity He and I quote, in nineteen thirty three, a German newspaper reported that Theme and Extreme Nationals organization had put a bounty of five thousand dollars on Einstein's head. When he heard the news, Einstein touched his hair and said, I did not know what was worth so much. Then he fled first to Britain and onto the United States to Princeton. We're in

nineteen forty he became an American citizen. Five thousand dollars on Einstein's head back then. This is why when you see a Nazi, you punch a Nazi completely, like no question. Yeah, this is of mindset. This is what we have to stamp out. YEA. So Einstein big fan of America. He gets to America flees the Germans. They don't get to put a price on his head. Now when he gets here,

his head is still super valuable. And I don't just mean that the theory of relativity and the photo electric effect and all the various things that he gave to the world of science, but also by this time, and we're now after after World War Two, we're into the fifties and Israel has been formed, and Israel says, you know what his head is worth it as the leader of a new state. We could have Einstein be the

first prime minister of Israel. So they go to him, they go, hey, Albi, he want to be a prime minister and he's like, no, I'm working on the world peace right now. I swear to God this is his thing. He turns down being the leader of the newly founded Israel because he was really worried about the atomic age. Now, I I don't know about you, but I just kind of imagine his father sitting there like Senator Einstein, Governor Einstein, I had such hopes for you think he I think

he's surpassed all that. Well, no, it's the whole Godfather. I was just picturing, like, you know, He's family would be so upset to him not to be the leader of Israel. I'm just guessing. I don't have no idea. Maybe his father didn't care about world politics. But the point is that Einstein, he wades into world politics, decides it's not for him. He finds that the world leaders

are resistant to change. So by the fifties, he's pretty much just focusing on his gravity research and trying to get the last bit of his theory relativity all like worked out, so you can include gravity because he's over the Earth. He's just like by nine five, Einstein is now seventy six years old. Okay, he feels worn out. Einstein, he remarks to a friend in the weeks that leading up to him getting a hospitalized. He says, I finished

my task here. He's just done right now. At the same time, his doctors are warning him like, hey, Albert, we need to perform surgery. You got this condition and your body. Your a orta is hardening, You got issues with your arteries. You can suffer a fatal aneurysm. So Einstein, when here's this from his docks, he tells them, lets it burst. I don't know why my Einstein is so all over the place, but there you go. So dude's done with you. Ear if he's like just all the

way over what I've said? Right. So, as his health is deteriorated, he's admitted to Princeton Hospital. His son Hans Albert, flies out to from Berkeley, California, where he's a professor, and his stepdaughter, Margot, she's there by his bedside. Everyone wants to succeed him for his last moments, and on a Sunday night, the attending doctor checks on Einstein. He seems to be fine. His son should be there in the morning. Sometime after midnight, the nurse, a woman named

Alberta Rosel. She comes into Einstein's room to check on him. She finds him labored breathing. He's just struggling to breathe. He looks real pale, He's thin from not eating, and at this moment he's just sitting there muttering in his native German. The nurse listening to Einstein, she doesn't speak German. It's totally lost on her. Whatever she's saying. He then kind of sits up, takes in two big inhales, exhales, and passes away. His final words are lost to time

because the German is misunderstood by the nurse. It's like the curse of a genius. He's last words are misunderstood. So the next morning, the world learns of Einstein's passing. Right, so this news conference is hastily announced by Princeton Hospital. Meanwhile, around this same time, in the basement, there's a crime going down. Yes, hospital pathologist Dr Thomas Harvey is scheduled performing autopsy of Einstein's body. His mentor couldn't make it, so the task fell to him. So time to meet

our anti hero of sorts, Thomas Harvey. Now, I want you to just try to get you into the mind of this Guy's a forty two year old doctor. He's a husband, father of two. He was raised by Quaker parents in a Louisville community. He would later attend Yale, then he would go to med school. There, he gets a job at Princeton Hospital, where he's now working as a pathologist. Up and commerce striver. Good career in front of him right now. Before he performs the autopsy on Einstein,

Dr Harvey had met Einstein a few times. He knows the guy had gone to his house to take blood work and I quote Dr harveystead of Einstein. He was very informal and cordial, a very kind sort of man. Right now, he hadn't, as I said, he had not expected to be the one to cut open Einstein's body. He was supposed to be his mentor, doctor Harry Zimmerman,

who was a neuro anatomist at Yale. Right. But as Dr Harvey recalled from and I quote a fellow up in New York, my former teacher, Dr Harry Zimmerman, he was going to do the autopsy, but then he couldn't get away. He rang me up and we agreed that I'd do it. Imagine my surprise cast them into this role, right, Okay, Elizabeth, We're going to take a trip back in time to April, to the fateful Princeton Hospital, and I want you to

picture it. I'm there, okay, the day April eighteenth, nine fifty five, in the Princeton Hospital morgue lies the body of the world's most famous scientist. It's near eight am in the morning and Dr Harvey arrives at the morgue. It's a green tiled room, well lit, quiet as a crypt. You see that there are all sorts of hoses and vacuum tube, as well as silver bowls, stainless steel hand tools.

There's a scale for weighing organs, as the operating tables, and of course there's that really big refrigerator unit for all the dead bodies. Now you watch the scene as it plays out before you. Now for the rest of us, I'll read from the account from journalists Michael Praternity. Quote. Harvey says he took a scalpel in his fingers and sliced Albert Einstein open with a y incision, tracing down from each collar bone and scoring the belly, the skin

giving away like cellophane. Now, after the skin is peeled open, you marvel at the glistening organs revealed. It's like looking at slim good body. Except for slim good body, it's a seventy six year old German American physicists exactly that. Doctor Harvey reaches into the cadaver and you see him as he quote pulled back two heavy slaps of skin like drapes. He took a saw on his right hand

and cut open Einstein's chest. Inside the wet wonderland of the body, his wet his body is a wet wind and he like that, So the smell were, at least from this wet wonderland was just as intoxicating and intense as you can imagine. Right. So, You're watching Dr Harvey route around in Einstein's chest cavity, and as Paternity puts suit quote, he remembers fingering Einstein's heart and then then the stomach. Then a criminal temptation sets in. You watch as the doctor decides and then axe on his plan

to steal the brain of the genius quote. Working quickly with a knife, Harvey taunsered the scalp, slicing from below one of Einstein's ears, around the back of the head to the other ear, and then up and over the crown of the skull in an arcing motion. The skin peeled back from the bone with a ripping sound like masking tape being pulled away from a surface. Harvey again shocked to the skin on the face side, so that now the dome of vanilla white skull was revealed in

its entirety. Bearing down on a bus saw, he cut through Einstein's head. He cracked the skull like a coconut. He removed a cap of bone, peeled back to the viscus menengus and snipped the connecting blood vessels and nerve bundles and spinal cord. And then at last, and there it was a huge, rough pearl. He reached with his fingers into the chalice of the man's creatium and removed the glistening brain. I am so queasy right now. I'm so sorry. That was Oh so pathologists. You watch him,

is he secrets away of the brain? You know, I love a gross out, but yeah, that's a bit much. So. Dr Harvey's sitting there with you know, Einstein's brain in his hand, playing like you know, York with York. He decides, I'm gonna keep this thing for myself. I gotta have this, and so he's secrets away the stolen brain. He fills out the death certificate, official cause rusher of the arterial sclerotic puts in birthplace OLM, Germany, citizen of USA, occupation scientist.

And that wasn't like that. It would take a while for the world to learn the brain of Albert Einstein had just been stolen, grabbed like a cat burglar snatching up crown jewels. And after this break, we'll get into what happened to Einstein's wet calculator. Welcome back, Elizabeth. You have a chance to towel off and kind of recollect yourself. I got some fresh air, I drank some water, blinked really hard. Okay, Okay, I'll be okay. I got no more gross outs for you. All right, this is just

pure narrative now. Okay. Now we have a brainless Albert Einstein and a press conference coming up to announce his passing. The Princeton hospital is all abuzz. Oh, and a press conference that they said, and they're going to wheel him out. We can. We did, had convertible lines. It took like an old sweater and shoved it in the cavity where his brain was. Oh look what I'm doing. Now, where

is today's newspaper? Because the intrigue is just beginning. Okay, we have the this press conference, and down in the basement is brainless Albert Einstein. Things are about to go off the rail for Domino to check on. For of course, Dr Harvey he claims he never stole Einstein's brain. He hasn't been his story forever. He always claims. Look, it was just the big misunderstanding. Sure, you know, like hops I was like, oh, I meant to put it back,

he got stuck in. I took it home in my car keys I was like, oh, I should bring this back. I hate when that happens. And then I didn't have anything to put it in. So anyway, the idea is unlike to say, the wrong briefcase he tooks home, it is actually he's very aware that he took Einstein's brain him. Come on, dude, you know you took a brain home with you. I mean, unless his house is riddled with other random brains, no, actually know it is like his

only one. Only it's the beginning of his brain collection. His home brain locker is empty save Einstein's brain. He just has one very important brain. So Dr Harvey explains, and I quote from told us to the Miami Herald quote. I was the one who removed the brain, of course, and had it. The family knew that I knew some good neuropathologists, and so I guess asked me to keep it. They thought it might throw some light on his genius. I guess, so he's of your mind. There just there

may be some brain gems in there. We can find crystals, brain crystals, power crystals, you know all the various head crystals that have possibly up there. Now, he also wasn't alone.

I pointed out that you were there for the most But then also there was Dr Otto Nathan, who was a colleague and a friend of his and also was the executor of the Einstein literary estate, so he had the family's blessing somewhat, and he was just there as a spectator, like an emotional support, a sandwich and a drink, going yeah, cut in and then I'm like up in the eaves, dry heaving now. But he's he's a doctor, he's a little more familiar. He'd gone through all of

the like desensitization necessary for these guys. It must have been like hot tickets, like I'm gonna cut Einstein, open you one in on this. He's like, oh, yeah, you want to see the wet wonderland of ees. He's wearing his Einstein T shirt. He's going to the concert. Dr Nathan, He's apparent he was fully aware of what everything was going on. And this is what Dr Harvey says. Now, there was another doctor there, Dr Dean, who he was

the one who signed the official death certificate. So two other doctors are there to apparently see this theft go down, if it indeed went down. After the autopsy, they take Einstein's body over to a funeral home, then over to a crematorium. So he was he was cremated, and the family sprinkled his ashes in the river, and they basically freedom from his earthly existence except for the brain. The brain remained here, and so he had people in there

as witnesses. He would he used like a sleight of hand, shove it in his pocket. Look over there. He wasn't. He was by himself for a few minutes. So there was an opportunity, and you know what that means. Opportunity pants part of motive. So news leaks about this stolen brain. It somehow gets out. Turns out the news story is such that it makes all the way up to the New York Times, and New York Times writes about it, and they run with the headline, key saw it in

Einstein brain, which is a great headline. I like that one. So the news story spoke about Einstein's brain. Quote may shed light on one of nature's greatest mysteries, the secret of genius. So everybody's right there with you on this idea that Einstein's brain must be able to reveal to us something about how he constructed the reality he did. They want to talk to the little man who lives in there exactly. Knock knock. Can we talk to day Card?

You know who's in there? Buzz the animatronic. That's what it's all coming together. Now, he's making connections all like this. So there's a second press conference scheduled for a couple of weeks to announce like what they're gonna do with the brain. The second press conference doesn't materialize because the Einstein family catch his wind of the New York Times story. They're like, wait, what where is his brain? No one told about the about the brain being missing. We just

burned up the body. What the double hockey sticks? Now? Dr Harvey wasn't the one who gone to the press. It was Dr Zimmerman who said the thing about the brain. He let it slip and basically he was like, you know, hey, yeah, my boy, Dr Harvey, he's going to bring me the brain if Einstein, I'm gonna do this fabulous study. So he was hyping himself, and by hyping himself, he creates this huge problem for the Einstein family. And that's when Dr Harvey goes into hiding. He's like, I'm taking his

brain and I'm cutting. So he's like in a gross motel room with the brain in a jar next to hime sitting on the bed. Next look when he blows over, I'll take you somewhere nice. We'll go to the tropics. Baby. He has the brain in a jar and there's a wig on the jar. Incognito mode um. Elizabeth, did you know that Einstein had an equation for happiness in life? He equals mc squared different equations. I don't know. I don't know. That's the only equation I know. There's a pythagger,

isn't that Yeah? And that's I think we have hit the end of the map for me. Well, those are two good ones. There's here's the third one we can add to you, all right, Einstein said, quote, if a is successful in life, the rule might be expressed A plus X plus y plus z x being work and why being play and Z being keep your in your mouth shut. Yeah, exactly, So that could have been a little lesson to DR's emory. No. Dr Harvey, meanwhile, can keep his mouth shut, but he's laying low. He's still

going to work. He still has the brain. People like, can we get the brain back? He's like, no, well, maybe I'm going to research it. The family gave it to me. The family says they didn't. Maybe they're wrong. Asked them again. You know, He's like talling as much as he can, running all circles around any logic that comes at him. Right now, this last roll more good while until the fall of that year. Dr Harvey slips

away with Einstein's brain. He's now had in a formalde hyde filled jar with the wig on top, and it's the shotgun next to him, and he drives up to Philadelphia and he goes to the University of penn And the reason he goes there is because they have, as he puts it, quote a big lab there, real big and so big professional baby so and I quote. They had equipment for sectioning whole brains, including a microtome used only for brainwork. Those particular microtomes are very scarce and

special technicians are needed to operate them. Dr Eric, who ran the laboratory, had such a technician. And though it took six months to do, we did a beautiful job of sectioning the brain. So now he's got to go and he's like telling the story. No, this is for research. See, I sliced it all off a really nice Deli slicer for exactly, running big Einstein's brain to the Deli slicer, they got super thin cut Einstein brain, like this is suitable for the finest sandwich. You can imagine it as

thin as possible. So, now, once he's got the brain sectioned up, what's he gonna do with it? Deli sandwiches? Which is so he starts passing it around. He does a whole Johnny apple seed routine around the country, taking bits of like Einstein brain to different scientists, going here's some for you, and here's some for you, pieces of the true cross exactly. I'm going all the way around full circle, so he said, and I quote, I usually

delivered the pieces myself. It could have been handled by mail, I guess, but I wanted to meet these men, only men, even though the person he went to at the University of Penn. Oh, woman, you're saying, man is in mankind. Anyway, after all these years, a study finally emerges. Now, how long do you think it takes before a study emerges? Try thirty four years. Scholarly articles is published with the title on the Brain of a Scientist Albert Einstein, quite

the prosaic title. Now this was the only one, and this study purported essentially what your argument, which is that Einstein's brain must have been different from others and this could be explained by the structure of his brain or possibly brain gems. Now Dr Harvey, he's like, you know milk in this theory. He's he's also he's mentioned on the paper, even though you had nothing to do with it. I like that it took him thirty four years to come up with what I came up within thirty seconds

with brain gems. I know right, ask the right question to get there faster. So that's pretty much all he has to show for it. Meanwhile, he loses everything in nineteen sixty one, just six years after that fateful autopsy that changed his life. Dr Harvey loses his job because he won't give up the Einstein brain. Because it's not because he's pocketing other brains. No, he had started like a new habit, and he's not like you know, Dr

hard you gotta keep He just wants friends. And he's got all these jars with wigs on with eyes attached so he loses his job in the hospital and the staff everyone liked him, but it was payback because he had kept the brain. They're like, we gotta get rid of you. You You won't listen to the ball. Look. So he loses his job and that causes him to lose his wife. His wife takes his kids. So now he loses his job, his wife, and his kids. Like a country song exactly all in one fell swoop. The only

thing he didn't loses his dog. Non't got a dog game a country song. So now that he's lost everything, he moves to Kansas, where he had at one time lived. He gets a job a plastics factory. Then he's working as a prison pathologist. Later on herd. In the seventies, he loses his license because he fails a medical exam. So then in the nineties he moves back to Princeton, back to his old stomping grounds. Still got Einstein's brain, still in the Formaldehide just doesn't have any good career futures,

but he still has still has the brain. In the nineties, just still got it. And he's been giving up some sections. You know, he gave some to some researchers and they came up with one paper. He's got the majority of the brain in a glass jar. And so he gets into a car accident and then in the car cars brain car accident in this instant, and this is when journalist Michael Paternity he reaches out to Dr Harvey. And it requires months because Dr Harvey do just want to

answer his phone. He's used to people badgering him. But finally journalist wears down his resistance and he gets the doctor to agree to go with him on a road trip to take Einstein's brain and drive it across country. There's a good reason for this that that's like the greatest feature to pitch to an editor. Exactly. I found the guy stall Einstein's brain. We're taking a road trip, driving across country. Spring break, y'all, Yeah, we're taking the brain.

Don't worry. It's got a wig, sunglasses, got a picnic basket, we got a colored glass in case it gets too hot. So Dr Harvey, though, as I told you before, he had a secret plan. He wants to take Einstein's brain back to his granddaughter. He wants to reunite it with the family. Okay, so the journalist says, like I love this pilgrimage. Let's do the brain track for us. Let's go. Yeah, And he's like, look, you're all banged up from the

car accident. I'll drive. He's like, alright, deal, So Dr Harvey agrees to hop on a car with a stranger and drive across country with Einstein's brain at this plane. Now, after this little break, we'll be back to dive into the Great American road trip with Einstein's brain. So we're in the nineteen nineties, Elizabeth, how does it feel? So? Can you hear the whole playing? Ye? Yeah, Courtney love is just booming in the speakers outside of the t c B. Y. It's amazing. I like your Jinko jeans

by the way, thank you. They're extra big. These are size sporties. Yeah. I actually put a whole one pound block of cheese in my pocket as long as it doesn't get tangled on the wallet change. Yeah, no, I don't want it. That's how you cut the cheese. She'll be here all night. Please tip your waitress. So the nineties, we all know and love. There had been uh you know, a heyday of interesting magazine writing at this time. And so Michael Perny He's like, oh, I want to get

in on this. I got a story. Boss bosses like I love it. Do it. So he gets a budget, he goes out and he rents a Beli Skylark shows up and Princeton's like, Dr Harvey hop on in. Dr Harvey's like yeah, So they're all ready to do their road trip, but there is some swirling darkness around the trip that I kind of have to mention. Right, there are rumors. Fraternity finds out because there was a journalist before him and the New Jersey magazine. A journalist went

Stephen Levy, and he basically looked for Dr Harvey. He went to find the mystery where is Albert Einstein's missing brain? So Fraternity had somebody ahead of him on this path, and he basically realizes that there's these rumors that Dr Harvey's trying to sell the brain. And one of the people the rumors point to is Michael Jackson is supposed to be wanting to buy Einstein's brain out here. Yeah, he wanted to, I guess keep it with the Elephant Man's bones, which he already owned. Now in the short

film Leave Me Alone, I did well doing research. I found that Michael Jackson has this scene where he's filmed dancing with the elephant man's bones. Yes, anyway, so can you imagine them like moon walking with a Mason jar filled with Einstein's brain around the wall and those from the hides all cloudy after all this time. He The Sacramento B updated this story and they said, quote, try as he might, Harvey can't find an institution or museum

that wants the brain that produced the theory relativity. So everybody kind of knew that he was out there on the make trying to Like he's losing jobs right and left. He's gotten really no future. He's basically looking for a retirement package at this point. Now, Dr Harvey decides, you know what, since I can't sell it, Michael Jackson won't buy it, I'm gonna have to do the right thing, damn it. So that's when he comes up with the plan to bring it back to Evelyn Einstein, granddaughter of Albert,

and he's like, okay, I'm gonna get there. Michael Patternity sweeps and he's like, I got a rental car. Let's

do it, bro now, as I will quickly quote. The Sacramental B also reported that for a while there was an interest in Einstein's gray matter, especially me what appeared to be its high concentration of glial cells g L I A L glial cells, but as an explanation of Einstein's brilliance, that theory fell by the wayside, and the secrets of his thinking prowess, or of anybody's for that matter, are now thought to lie in the complex chemical functions

of the live organ, not the dead tissue. So now basically what he has is a jar full of useless body tissue that once belonged to inste guess rain gems. If you shake someone really hard and you hear rattling, you know they're smart because it's the brain gems. I'm going to write this down, let me take some notes better than an i Q test. Yeah, this is like true science. You see someone, You're like, how smart is

that guy? Hold on a second, shake him violently, and then if he rattles like a Morocco, You're like, I got me Einstein two point out here, got a real brain genius over here? You hear that rattle like a rainstick, because I'm brain genius. Yeah, I like this. I think it's just kind of funny that science determines that Einstein's brain is essentially worthless to science. You're like, oh, by the way, a brand worthless. So Einstein's brain basically had powers,

and the powers were his animating spirit. It wasn't about the car, you know. So it's so, what did this journalist discover about the man who eventually stole the brain of this genius and now has this rather useless collection of body tissue? You got these two strangers in the Smeller card driving across America, backseat filled with Einstein's brains right now. Meanwhile, paternity he starts this trip. He's got

some hard questions. And I will quote from his book driving, Mr Albert quote, is he a grave robbing thief or a renegade, a sham artist or a shaman? What about the rumors that he plans to sell Einstein's brain to Michael Jackson for some unspecified millions of dollars or has entertained another private offer a three million. So he's just sitting there. This is what's swirling around with him as he's like, all right, close it, or let's get on

the road. I started driving across country. These questions seem to matter less and less the further they get away from Princeton, he starts focusing on the man. He starts to get into like who was this guy when he was at forty two year old doctor and just fate fell into his lap and say, can you cut open the body of the most brilliant man you've possibly ever

seen or known? Right, He's like, yeah, okay, Well, at this point, Harvey, you know, he's got the brain, as I've told you numerous times, and it's in essentially a giant glass mason jar, right, or maybe like you think of like a candy jar. I don't know what jar would be in my head, giant mason jar or sometimes when you say it, I imagine like a like a big candy jar at like a store. Yeah. Once I guess how many? Yeah, how many job breakers are in

this thing? And there's like one loose jaw breaker floating in the framale Hyde with the brain. Okay, we're getting ready to getting ready for the road trip. Turns out that Dr Harvey, you know, switch containers and so Michael Fraternity gets to finally see the brain. He's been talking to this guy for months. He keeps asking about it, and he's like, hey, before we get on the road, can you like show me the brain? And he's like, I don't know about that. It's like, come on, man,

to show me the brain. He's like, all right, can you like kind of calm down a little bit, I'll go get it. So Dr Harvey shuffles around and now I turned it over to Michael Paternity Quote. Harvey appeared from the darkness with a big cardboard box in his hands.

He set it down and wanted to time. Pulled out two large glass cookie jars full of what looked to be chunks of chicken and a golden Einstein's brain chopped into pieces ranging from the size of a turkey neck to a dime, A swirling universe unto itself, galaxy, suns, and planets. It seemed to glow, and the old man he stood over it transfixed nodding. In his face was a sudden nakedness, an expression of awe of the soul manifesting itself on the surface of the body. Now, okay,

I got one for you. I got one for you. Ready, Okay, So while they're driving across country, once they load up and they got the brain in the backseat, and it isn't tough where that they package it up. Here's the thing though, when I imagine it in my head, it's like a cartoon. It's a comic. And then when you're

reading these descriptions and oh, my stomach is turning. As they're growing across country with the tupperware, they started basically getting into some very stories of other people's brains and what happens to them. And there's an interesting one I thought you'd like to know. At the y Star Institute at the University of Pennsylvania, it was famous for how many bones and brains it once held back when that was the thing to keep. And uh, the institute had

Walt Whitman's brain right. But then there was an accident, as the Birmingham Daily Mail reported in December six seven, quote Mr Anthony Spitzka, professor at the Jefferson Medical College, in a published report on his comparative study of the brains of eminent American authors and scientists, states that Walt Whitman's brain is lost to science. A hospital employee carelessly dropped the jar containing the poet's brain, which was cut

into pieces and would not be saved. That's incredible, and it's like so he's like mopping someone and they hit it with the handle. Kids across the exactly, there's no dog to come in and get like that TV show. Yeah. I was like, look, it's all mixed in with the glass. I can't even sort this out. I just put it in the dustbin. Cut my brain in two pieces. This is my last cortex. Oh god, right now. The Great American Road Trip with Einstein, it surprisingly wasn't as fun

as it sounds. It does not sound like a barrel of laughs. It's miles from New Jersey to Berkeley, California, so they felt about all of those miles. Let's put it that way. That Buick Skylock rental car journalists and scientists was pretty quiet for most of the drive. A couple of times they got a little tense with each other, and also like there's other personal issues with both of

their partners in their lives, so compounding pressures right. Well, Eventually, as we're getting closer to the West Coast Praternity, he's like, this guy's a handful. I gotta call Evelyn Einstein and let her know we're on our way and she doesn't know they're coming, and see if she really wants this to happen, right, we shouldn't just like, you know, shock her with this, Yeah, you're just hanging out at home. And then these two goofballs pull up in a rental

car with two jugs full of brain bits. Your grandfather's brain, Hey, grandfa's brain. Want they're fighting, and so they're just like all passive aggressive, like just take it? Do you take it? Exactly? So when he calls her, Evelyn Einstein, she knows who this dude is. She's like, ah, yes, the White Rabbit Fraternity's like not quite getting with the riff, right, and she's riffing on the Jimmy Stewart movie Harvey. So she explains to the young journalists he lived in Kansas. His

name is Harvey. Enough said right, and he's like, okay, whatever. So she's just like, flies over. I don't totally don't get your mid century references. So later in their phone call,

Evelyn Einstein, who was pretty tense with him. At first, she starts to warm up and then you start talking about the theft her grandfather's brain, and she's like, it's degoutin you know, it's disgusting what he's done, all right, But then she eventually softens her stance because a journalist, Michael Praternity, he's pretty kind and nice story, and he's like, look, do you want to meet this guy or not. She's like, look, and I quote, I'm interested in science. I'm curious about

the brain. And besides, I have to have a sense of humor about this. It's really the only way I can deal with it. Yeah, with the Oregon party organ and buddy parts of your dead relatives like, hey, you want to see this. You're like, I gotta laugh at this. Yeah, she's got a lot of brain crystals, super brain crystals. No miles and miles later to be exactly, they get to Berkeley and they're like, hey, we got the brains.

We're showing up at your place, right, And then they arrive at her place and she's prepared for it, and she's like, you know, psychically prepared herself to deal with this guy who stole her grandfather's brain decades ago, and like, why would he want to show up at her house? Going here it's back, I'm sorry, forgive me. She doesn't know what he's gonn asked her. Right, he shows up and he's the nervous one, right, he won't sit down She's all gracious and generous, invites him into her home

that has this beautiful view of San Francisco. It's a really nice Berkeley home. He's sitting there, he stands up. The journalist is sitting on the couch with her, the two of them having a conversation. He won't sit down. They ask him, Hey, you want to sit down, and he's like, nope, ask hey you want to sit down? Four times. It takes before you find He's like, okay, he's done wrong. Oh yeah, no's he's highly nervous around her. Now she tries to break the ice and so she's

asking him questions. She's like, hey, did you autopsy the whole body? And he's like, oh yeah, the whole body. She's like, what was that like. He's like, oh, quote why it made me feel humble and insignificant. She's like, I can see that all right. And the journalists He's like, I got it involved in this. I got a couple of questions. Let me pepper him with a couple. And so he's like, hey, can we see the brain? Let her see the brain and show where the show where

the deal? Right. He's like, I don't know if that'd be a good idea, and she's like, oh, that would be wonderful. He's like, okay, let me go get the tupperware. So he pulls out the tupperware container that he's got the brains in the brain broth in, puts it on like the little lenon I imagine like a coffee table, and he's like pushes aside the day's newspapers. He's like, hearently put space for the brain cracks. Open the lid. Whoa,

he took the lid off. Takes the lid off. He pulls out a piece of her grandfather's brains, holding it up hands. Yeah, his hands touching it. It's all formaldehyde and the stink is filling the room. It just now smells like a Morgan there. And he's like, yeah, you want to touch it, and you want to hold it. She's like yeah, he won't hand it to her. She's like all confused. He's like, yeah, you want to touch it, and then he don't hand it to her. She's like,

what is that? What is this guy's deal? Like right, exactly, but the journalist paternity. He's getting annoyed, right, He's like, dude, just candor the body part and she's like, oh no, no, we just put it back in the tupperware, right, and he steals the lid, won't give it to her. It's like, it's my grandfather's brain. Let me hold the brain. And he's like, I don't know. Look, I gotta call my cousin. He lives in sam Matey. I'm gonna go have dinner with him. And she's like, why I had dinner plants

for all of us. I thought we could go out. No, no no, I gotta go see my cousin. I don't get out here that often. She's like, so I had dinner plans, eyeing the tupper did you bring cayenne pepper? So the At this point, Dr Harvey is like, look, I gotta split, and he's like, you're gonna give me a ride and the journalist is like, no, bro, we're done. This is his trip is over. So they diverge pass and he just takes off and goes to meet his cousin.

Ends up taking bart over to stop it. He takes a bart over because he's like the guy, the chauffeur won't drive me, so he just goes. He takes part. Well, then he would have to get on like cal train to get down to San Mateo. Oh yeah, totally good car. Yeah, a lot of transit options there. Meanwhile, he leaves the brain behind in the rental car. These all three of them at this point, I'm just like enough they all need to get smack in the face heavily. And the

paternity of the journalists. They go, houtside, they're gonna take a little walk coming back from dinner, and they see the rental car, and they noticed that the tupper where is in back? And she's like, he left the brain? Does does he do this? Often? Like what's been going on in this rud trip? And Turney's like, no, man, I don't even know what the deal. The two of them look each other like what a cook? He was? Huh, alright, look so glad he's gone. Right. He just couldn't bear

to say, here's the brain like that was. His friend checks it, just like I gotta go. I'm out peace. So Paternity grabs the brain. They bring it inside, crack open the lid. He's like, what's wrong with these people? But you want to play with your granddad's brains? So she's like she runs her fingers through the golden broth. The brains all bobbing in there like stars or galaxies, apples at a county fair and us. She's like poking around at the brains and she's like, so this is

what all the fuss is about. She's like, you know, running her finger to the brains. Now. He tries, is like, can I leave these with you? You just keep these aw in the liquid A little slurp, just just a little taste. I just always wanted to. Doc would have thought it was weird. So she's like reluctant. She's like, no, I don't want the brains. You can take them. He's

like no, no no, I'm just gonna leave them here. She's like, no, no no, no, you take to start fighting over the brains, but nicely and I like actually fighting but casually like no, you take it. In the end, he takes the brains and he's like, oh, I'll take the damn brains. He takes the brains, he gives them back to Dr Harvey. He's like, look here, you take the brains back. Dr Harvey's like I thought we were giving him to her. I thought I was out. And she's like he's like no, man,

I'm done. I'm gonna go write this book, all right, so return he checks out. Dr Harvey goes back to Princeton and he takes the brain back to where he got it, to Princeton Hospital, and he's like, how about you guys, will you take the brain? And so he then takes it to this dude, Dr Elliot Crouse, who now has his job. Dr. Elliot Crous is the pathologist at Princeton Hospital, and he commented on how strange this moment was for him. Dr Holle Krouse said, and I quote,

he didn't really say anything. He just walked in here and he handed me the cardboard box. I mean, I think he was relieved. He looked relieved, but he didn't really say anything. Didn't give me instructions or anything. Just now it's mine. So now this dude has don't say anything, just like you know, you know, so worried that you know, some careless janitor might knock it off the shelf and have like a whitman accident, or that somebody else might

come in and steal it. This pathologist he's like, you know what, I think I'm gonna have to take this home. He takes the Einstein brain up with him. The Lord of the Energy my precious. So he's over there, and uh, you know, interestingly, all these people, none of them stopped to think about what would Einstein want with his brains. So Einstein very clearly said, and I quote people showed them to worship my bones. So this is and it isn't even like, oh, I wonder what he would have said.

He literally we have to assume that a lies to brains. You know, you had that really beautiful thing of my task here is done. Like he's a lot of brain gems. You see him way beyond this, you guys, let him slip his mortal coil, to slip out of his skin and go be one with the universe. But there you go. That is our story of the Albert Einstein brain theft. That's a ridiculous takeaway. I'm gonna be really self centered

and focused on me right now. Go for it. But my takeaway is that I can dish it out, but I can't take it. I can say lots of gross stuff, but when people, when you're telling me all these gross things, I am literally queasy. I was worried, but then also a little excited. My ridiculous takeaway, thanks for asking people saw about me, right now I'm sorry that I haven't called time on that yet. All right, fine, yes, thank you, Ralph.

Starting with a favorite quote of his, Einstein once said and quote, there are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle. Now, for me, that's the ultimate lesson of Einstein. When a finger points to the guy and shows you the wonders of the heaven, don't get hung up on the finger. To stay focused on the wonder, not the finger that pointed it out. Like, I don't see how that's so hard to grasp. And also,

here's my second part. This at that finger that it's pointing. That's the same finger that you could pick a nose with. There's nothing special about a finger, even if it's Einstein's doesn't freaking matter in this case, if it's even if it's his brain, it doesn't freaking matter. It's what we do with the brain that matters far more than the gray matter itself. Perfect, that's all I gotta say. That's it.

Be back next week for another one. You can find us online at Ridiculous Crime on both Twitter and Instagram. You gotta tip for us about a ridiculous crime you'd like to hear about. You want to confess to Ridiculous Crime, Hit us up, Email us Ridiculous Crime at gmail dot com. Ridiculous Crime is hosted by Elizabeth Duton and Zarin Burnett, produced and edited by the Resident Pathologist of the Soul, Dave Cousta researches by the Chief Anatomous to the Stars,

Merissa Brown. Our theme song is by Thomas Let Me Finger Your Brains Lee and Travis No Get Away from Me Dotton. Executive producers are Bend Brains for Days Bowling and No how Much for a Stolen liver? Brown Ride Say It One More Time? We Dequeous Crew. Ridiculous Crime is a production of I Heart Radio. Four more podcasts to my heart Radio, visit the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.