¶ Sports Psychology and Performance Anxiety
Welcome everybody to another episode of the ride home rants podcast . This is , as always , your host , mike Bonham . I have a great episode for us today a guy coming to us . He is actually a Doctor of psychology . He does a lot of different things .
We'll get into his exact title , because it's way too long for a comedian like myself to pronounce and went and I'll see right there messing up on the intro and Haha , it's the long morning people , but it's Chris Stankovich . Joins the show . Chris , thanks for joining . Hey , thanks for having me , mike .
Hey , not a problem , and I hope I didn't butcher your name there . I know I know people get mine wrong all the time , so I hope I didn't . But tell everyone your exact title and what you do , man .
Absolutely so . I'm a professional . I let a counselor work with athletes . I'm also a professor of sports psychology and have been a student of the field of sports psychology for almost 30 years and now work with athletes of all different ages , skill levels , families , parents , coaches pretty much anybody in the sports world I probably interface with at some point .
Wow , I mean big and athlete . You know most of my Childhood and into my 20s I mean I wish I had somebody like you . We didn't have that a little D3 Bethany College where I went to school . So yeah , great stuff there . So where did you kind of like grow up and go to college to get that you know , that educational background to to do what you do ?
Well , you know it's kind of funny you say that , mike , I wish I had somebody like me growing up . You know I think love the place , sports , love to be active , love to do things . But I don't know about you or any of your viewers here today . You know there's anxieties , those insecurities , worrying , not having that confidence .
You know there really wasn't anybody when I was a kid in the 70s , teenager in the 80s , to talk to about those things . You know I grew up in Northeast Ohio , kind of a blue collar part of the state . Yeah , nobody I knew was talking to a mental health specialist . I don't even know if they were available then . But that really got me interested .
And , long story short , when I got to a high state for graduate school I was very lucky in the 1990s to work for four years in the athletic department as I was pursuing my doctorate degree again got to really mix in with a lot of the world's greatest coaches , athletes , trainers , administrators .
And you know , one of the things that really drew my interest was helping out kids . You know , I think a lot of times we focus on the glitz and glamour , the pro athletes , but you know kids go through a lot , especially today I think there's a lot of pressures on them to succeed .
They've got totally , you know , Amazing schedules with all these sports and whatnot , and so I think it's it's good time to be in our field .
Yeah , absolutely All right . We are back here with Chris Stankovic . We just got a little bit about where he was Going to college . You said Ohio State , got your background and everything there . So you know what exactly Do you do with the athletes and everything like that . I know you work with them , but I mean what specifically , if you can say anything ?
I know I know some of a lot of times you know you can't talk about a lot of things and you're in your feel , which we get , and you know Don't want to go too much into that , but you know what exactly it do . You do you do as a sports psychologist ?
Okay , great question , mike . You know Different things . It really depends on what's being called for in any given moment . You know , with the pro athletes , a lot of times it is performance anxiety , kind of working through those insecurities .
You know , a lot of times they have big contracts , high expectations , so it's just really trying to help them manage their stress , develop their confidence , tamp down that anxiety . But then it goes down to , you know , college , high school , youth level sports . We're talking about different kinds of concerns there .
It might be for kids , just helping them develop life skills through sports . You know very few of them are going to go on to college or pro sports and you know we want them to capture as many of those lessons of life that they can apply them to school , apply them to everything they do .
Coach , it could be a coach calling me to work on ideas about better team chemistry or a better culture in the locker room . So there's a lot of different things that we do , but really it's it's pretty normal stuff and it's the kind of things that most people I think can understand and relate to . Yeah , I mean .
I feel like you can do that for Do that for any career . You know what I mean , not just athletes that have to deal with that . Like you know , for example , me . I'm a comedian and you know it's the people think we're calm on stage . We were kind of talking about this before we started rolling here .
You know the anxieties that go with being on stage and being a performer , you know just . I don't want to say we're athletes , like athletes , because you know we're up there making people laugh and not trying to , you know , tackle somebody or you know , make , make a big three pointer to win a championship or anything like that .
But the anxiety that goes into you know preparing a set , making sure it's funny , then getting on stage and actually Performing it to to people and hoping that they laugh it's .
I feel like you could just broaden that out to just not everybody , not just athletes , but just and you know , entertainers and performers in general , because there's there's a lot of anxieties that people don't see . Yeah , we look calm on the outside , but I'm telling you we are all sweating on the inside of our bodies but we're on stage as comedians .
Well , the irony is , you know , I have worked with people outside of sports and it's kind of a common thing . I think you're exactly right . You know we all perform right . You perform as a comedian athlete performs as an athlete . A teacher , you know , is performing , trying to get students . That's paid attention .
But I'll give you a quick example of something really simple , and I don't want to minimize the value of mental health to this one piece I'm going to give you . But this is a quick example of how you can normalize , you know , a mental health approach to making yourself a better comedian , better athlete .
So , for example , when you go out to compete , how many times have we said to ourselves ahead of time you know , don't screw this up today , don't mess up right . And if I tell you and your audience right now , don't think of a purple gorilla , what do you want to do ?
Think of a purple gorilla . I instantly just saw a purple gorilla .
Exactly , and we tell ourselves don't do something , as though that's good instructions to avoid a calamity or a disaster , when in reality we should be saying go out and nail this today , play my best today , you know , let's work this room today , saying things in the affirmative . That's a , again , a remarkably simple example .
But think about the difference between , you know , the first guy saying don't screw this up , which we know as soon as he says that he's already behind the eight ball , versus the second guy saying no , let's do this Again .
I don't want to say it's as easy as that , but a lot of times , these little interventions , you know this isn't rocket science , we're not doing lobotomies here . This is , you know , just introducing some basic concepts that really lead to a completely different return on investment .
Absolutely . And I got to say , you know , I kind of , I kind of have that a little bit , you know , with comedy , and you know I don't want to , you don't go , don't bomb today , don't don't be , that is just . You know , let's go be funny , let's go , let's go be funny .
And you know , and I have that , but there's still times because even though you know I'm I'm considered an 11 year veteran of comedy and doing standup , I still do like these little contests and things just to kind of work on my craft .
And the last contest I was in was back in June and my wife is she's a soldier because even for the past eight years me and her have been together she's missed two shows and both of them she was six .
So I understand it , like she's been to every show and I kind of almost consider her my road manager because she's always taking me to shows and on the road with me and working her work schedule around everything to be there to support me .
But I remember we were about five , 10 minutes away from the venue and it was the ad , a comedy club in Columbus , ohio , and we're , we're getting , we're getting almost close to close to the venues . And she looks at me , she goes okay , what music is going to get you pumped up for this contest ? And it was just like I don't know .
And she was like what do you mean ? You don't know ? Like what do you want to listen to ? I don't care . And she even has a playlist on her Spotify that is called Michael's pump up .
Like she has all of my favorite songs on her Spotify when we're in her car , when we're driving to the venues , and she plays it the entire way there and you know it puts me in that right mindset to get on stage and a lot of it is just , you know , it's not like the pump up music I would play when I was an athlete .
You know all the rock songs that would get me in the right headspace . It's sometimes , it's funny songs like a lot of Brad Paisley , a lot of his songs that people don't even realize , like they have those little comedic lines in it if you listen to the words and all that and it gets me in the right headspace .
And you know , I think everybody I don't want to say needs that person , but they need that person . You know that's there and that can put them in the right headspace , because not everybody can , you know , really think like all right , today , today's my day , it's going to be a great day . I'm going to crush it today .
Like not everybody can , can flip that switch and turn it on . Do you see that a lot with what with your work ?
No sure you know why . Talk about like a pregame routine as a metaphor , right ? I mean , few of us are still competing as elite athletes certainly not me in my 50s but you know we still have to have a pregame routine , right ?
I mean , even before coming on with you a few minutes ago , you know , before I even open up the computer , I think about what I'm going to do . If I get my attitude right , I control that . Right , I can be happy , I can be upbeat or I can choose to be a slouch . So , you know , I take advantage of the things I can control . I engage
¶ Sports as a Metaphor for Life
, appreciate the moment , and you know what . We see , what happens . But more times than not , when you step up to the plate with that mindset , with comfort and confidence , things are going to go okay , versus beating yourself up before the first whistle , you know . And how many of us do that , right , you know . So I think you bring up great points .
To me , a lot of this is just metaphor . Yeah , I'm talking sports , but really it's life . You know . Like to go back a moment ago working with kids . I'm not looking at a group of 12 year olds and saying , how can I get these kids prepared for college and pro sports Right .
My idea is I teach them how to focus , set goals and be a great team player here on this 11 and 12 year old baseball team so they can take that to the classroom , so they can use it in their careers one day . You know , if we're doing that , we're doing good work .
Yeah , I've been trying to beat that into my 14 year olds head like he was , just like he's . I don't , he goes . I like football , I like to play football , but I don't . I don't know how this is going to help me .
I was just like buddy , trust me , the discipline that you're getting now in playing a sport and having a routine and having a schedule , you don't think you're going to have an employer that's going to make you have a routine and a schedule that you have to follow and be diligent about and things you have to do that maybe you don't want to do like who wants
to get up in the summer and in the middle of July and the heat and go run and lift and do all this conditioning . Nobody wants to do that . But now you're on a schedule . Now we have , okay , well , you go to school from time X to time Y , from time Y to time Z , you're at football practice After that . Now you're home . Now it's homework time .
You know you get put into a routine . I was like look at me , I am . You can set a clock to me as to what it's still the point now . I don't even need an alarm . I'm up at 6am every day and you know I make my coffee , I get , you know I sit down , I put on sports center .
That's my morning routine and you know I sit there and I watch sports center . That's kind of my me time in the morning and while I'm drinking my coffee , and you know , and he was just like well , I get that he goes . I was like okay , what is the Bono rule ?
That I'm trying to beat this into his head because my dad beat it into my head what's the Bono rule ? And he kind of puts his head down and he like he hates this saying but it's going to pay off later because I hated this saying growing up and it's early , as on time on time is late . If you're late you shouldn't even bother showing up .
And I love it . And my dad beat that into my head as a child and I remember putting my head down and repeating it back to him all monotone , like my son does to me , but it's it's always like , hey , man , come on , we got to go to practice . Well , practice isn't for another half hour . And I just look at him what's the Bono rule ?
And he repeats it back and he was like get in the truck , let's go and you know , it's just those little things that he'll thank me later , because now that I'm in my 30s and you know , and having a career and you know , I thank my , I thanked my dad for that , because now I'm beating it into my son's head and it pains me to say I'm turning into my
father , which is not necessarily a bad thing , but you know , it's something that every kid's like oh , I'm never going to end up like that . No , I'm exactly like my father . That's pretty fantastic . So back to to what you do . I believe , if I'm right , you've actually appeared on ESPN . You know to talk a little bit .
What was that experience like as somebody who's grown up loving sports and everything like that ? And you know I watch Sports Center every day . So what was that experience like at ESPN ?
Oh , I mean outstanding , flattering . You know you just try to do the best work that you can and put it out there for the people . Hopefully people can use what you're learning , what you're seeing .
I've been on outside the lines a few times and talked about some of the contemporary issues and sports today very exciting and again I just love to have these opportunities . I consider it a true privilege being with you here today . You know I love what I do . The old saying , if you love what you do , you never work a day in your life , is absolutely true .
I couldn't imagine getting up and doing something different . So anytime someone wants to listen to me squawk , you know I'm thrilled to do it .
Yeah , I was gonna get to that point and I'm glad you brought it up that if you love what you do , you'll never work a day in your life . And you know I've worked a bunch of you know day jobs and stuff like that to fun comedy .
You know , still , even as an 11 year veteran , you know I'm still working a day job to fun comedy and you know you work these crappy jobs just to make ends meet . That will work around your comedy schedule , which is all over the place and you know there's people that you know most employers don't like it the one I'm at now .
I actually enjoy getting up and going to work . But you know I don't really have a day off really because you know from nine to five I'm at my day job . That's their time . I , you know that's for them From five till sometimes 11 , 30 , 12 , one o'clock in the morning . That's working on comedy time .
And it got to the point where we were actually sitting at one of my son's football games and I'm on my phone doing something in between plays and stuff like that , and my wife looks over to me and she goes what are you doing ? I was just like , well , I had a .
You know I had a customer message me and you know I had a respond to that and now it made I don't know why , but it made me think of a joke , so I got to put that in my notes so I don't forget that . She goes are you really working right now ? She's like do you know what a day off is ?
I was like no , because I love this , I love finding the funny in anything I can find and make a joke out of anything .
And she's still , you know , even after eight years we've been together , it's still a shock to her that like I don't go home and just sit on the couch and you know , quote unquote , relax like people you know want to do after a long day at work .
And you know I go home and I basically go right to another job and , yeah , I'm home while I'm doing it and I get to be around my family . And you know my son is , he's a plethora of material just being a 14 year old boy . It's just a lot of stuff that you know we can . Just , I'm going to talk about it . It's not that I'm not going to .
I have been warning him , like dude , next time I'm on stage I'm telling you , be prepared . I mean , you're gonna see it on TikTok and YouTube and you're gonna see it . Just roll with it , it's fine , there could be a lot of money in it , just laugh at it , you know , and it's finding that is .
You know , I love what I do and people were like but you're always going , you're always on the move . You're either at a going driving to a comedy show , or you're doing this , or you're writing jokes , or you're doing that , you're running your podcast , you're merch stores , you're .
I was like it's fun to me , that's , I enjoy doing it , that's what I want to do and I don't foresee it as work and I love it and I'm sure you have that with your job 100% .
I mean , you know I try to tell people all the time what you bring to the room really impacts those dynamics , how others respond to you . You know I talk a lot in psychology about attitude projection , real simple concept .
In fact , when I'm teaching an intro psychology class at the college level , a lot of times I'll have the students do this where one day their prompt is to just be upbeat , spirited , positive , all day body language , eye contact , affirmations , okay , but the key is they are to watch how others respond to that and , as you might imagine , the room raises its level
to you . Then the next day their prompt is to go out there and crank it down a few levels . You know you're more dejected and somber and not really giving that eye contact . You're in the room but you're not really engaged . But watch the people around you and they'll actually start to come down .
And so you know we talk about simple concepts of what you bring to every environment and the impact that you have on others and that in turn affects you .
So , for example , somebody struggling with depression and I don't want to minimize it down again to a simple sound bite because it's a serious thing , but if you can manufacture some emotion each day , smile , look at the people in your company with appreciation . Often they give that back to you and when you receive that you feel good .
That's a natural endorphin rush . Again , I'm not saying that that magically fixes bipolar depression . That's not what I'm saying . But if you can have an impact on some of these things yourself versus you know a risky medication or other unworth-a-dox approaches , why wouldn't you consider that ?
That is . I mean , that couldn't be
¶ Laughter's Role in Improving Health
better said . And you know I always say you know , just in my field , in general , you know , laughter is the best medicine and I've told this story on here a couple of times , but I kind of want to get your reaction out of it too as well . But my wife , she is a heart patient . She has POTS or GRIG SYNDRUM , you know .
So her blood pressure is always low and she's had four heart surgeries since she was 16 years old . So you know she has to deal with that . And about four years ago she went to see her cardiologist for her normal checkup and everything .
And he was looking at her numbers and he looked at her and he looked back down at the numbers , just basically making sure it was the right temperature . He goes your numbers are fantastic , what are you doing differently ? Like because we haven't changed your medicines , we haven't done this , we haven't done that , what are you doing differently ?
And I was there in the room with her and she made the joke and she's like well , I married a comedian and he makes me laugh on a daily basis and he just sits there and cracks jokes all day and I'm forever laughing .
And I don't , I mean he's just being stupid and dancing around the kitchen while we you know , I'm just being an idiot while he's cooking dinner , like , yeah , that's the only thing that's changed is I married a comedian and he looked at her . He goes hang on to him because your health is getting better , because you're sitting there and you're laughing .
And like even when we're watching TV , like I'll just be sitting there and something on TV will trigger a joke in my head . And I just turned to her and I just say the joke .
And I just turned back to watching TV , like I didn't say like some off the wall thing to her and she just starts laughing and you know , some of the times it's what is wrong with you . You know , like she gets that but she laughing while she's doing it and that's been the biggest thing .
You know and that's why I will I will take this to my grave that laughter is the best medicine .
Well , it's absolutely true . I mean , there is a therapeutic value to keep it in a good spirit , keeping a positive attitude , laughter , all these things that you talk about . You know I always like to give advice that even if you try this and it doesn't work , as long as it doesn't make your situation worse , why not ?
You know I often joke about if I could only write prescriptions for placebo's . I'd be the happiest guy you've ever met , because you know who cares if I , if I give you a sugar pill or I tell you to put this rabbit split in your pocket for a couple weeks and you believe it and get better . What's the harm in that ?
You know that's a lot better than many of the drugs on the market that have all kinds of side effects and I don't know . I just believe in that kind of an approach .
That's probably the best thing I've heard on hearing a long time . That's fantastic . We are running down near the end of the episode . I got a couple things I want to get in . So you know where can people find you . You know if they have questions or if they just want to . You know if they need to talk where can people find you .
Yeah , the website is probably the easiest it's DrStankovichcom . I'm also on Twitter at DrStankovich . People can reach out with questions anytime . My website has a bunch of blog articles , different things . A lot of it is oriented towards sports athletes , coaches , but there also are some pieces on just general life wellness . Certainly encourage people to check it out .
Absolutely and last but not least , anytime we have somebody on here who knows a former guest of the show , I just meet my own personal thing . I have to know how do you know James Hall ?
Wow . Okay , so James Hall and I go way back to the 1990s at Ohio State University . He was an administrator in the athletic department at the time . I was working on my doctorate degree as a graduate student and also a counselor student athletes and you know James and I just connected on a lot of things .
In fact , he created the majority of one minority student athlete organization at Ohio State . I was proud to be a part of that and it was really an intimate insight and look at the different issues that athletes face , but also minority student athletes , and not just by race , by gender , and so that was a great learning experience .
James and I have remained close friends ever since .
Yeah , loved James . He was on the show and you know we loved him . It was a great conversation with him and you know , anytime , it's just my own personal curiosity and that's just what I have to know . It's just me . I got to know what it is . But , chris , I do give every guest this opportunity here .
Since we are running down near the end of the episode , I'm going to give you about a minute . If there's anything you want to get out there , whether it's you know , a good message or where people could find you or anything like that , or anything you want to get out there or is yours , yeah , Well , you know , mike , I really don't have anything to plug .
I'm fortunate . I'm at a point in my career where I just spent a lot of time offering my thoughts and insights , things that I see come through the office . My hope is that people can take some of it , apply it .
I'm in a very fortunate position and I realize that where people come in daily to my office , they bear their soul , they reveal intimate concerns , issues , struggles . We work through those things . That has allowed me to
¶ Passionate Athlete Discusses Work and Sponsorship
see trends that are happening , particularly with parents and kids in sports , and so , yeah , I'm very fortunate to be able to , in turn , talk about those things with people like yourself , and , you know , the hope is some of that work gets out there .
So yeah , I appreciate that . Hey , not a problem at all . It was great to talk to you , something that you know , I guess I'm , I guess you could say I'm pretty passionate about .
You know , and you know being an athlete my entire life and everything like that , and what you do for just people in general not athletes in general , you know don't want to rabbit hole into that but just what you do . You know it's , it's phenomenal work and we're here to help get that word out any way that we can here at the Ride Home Rans podcast .
I love it when there's a good message like that and I actually hate that I have to do a promo read and a sponsorship read right now after that , but I do . And so , like I said , the Ride Home Rans podcast is brought to you by our newest sponsor , and I'm so excited about this because it is my own personal coffee brand , bono's Brew .
I have a plethora of flavors with the freshest ground beans made right here in the USA . It ships to your door within three days . Go to bonosbrewmyshopifycom to get yours . That link will be in the description of this . Use the promo code RideHomeRans and you will get 5% off of your first purchase .
That is actually going to do it for this week's episode of the Ride Home Rans podcast . I want to thank Chris Stankovic for coming on the show . This was a lot of fun to sit and talk with you , as always . If you enjoyed the show , be a friend , tell a friend . If you didn't tell him anyways , they might like it just because you didn't .
That's going to do it for me and I will see you next time .