Machines like you exist to be used. Machines like us exist to talk about entering the Android Discourse with Margulis and Momo, requiring mommy to take us back to the lab, aborting any reasonable attempt at stealth, burying cult figureheads in child robot brains, merging our cult base with its previous religion, unrealty’ing a mere phenomenon, decoding Pleroma, baptizing our new daughter with her selected name, loving the back toss, passing the Life Recycling Act, buying our son a robot dog, sli...
Oct 30, 2023•1 hr 1 min•Season 5Ep. 10
It’s the same for me. It’s just something I can do. What you can do is listen to us talk about double-momming Allen, wondering if Captain Matthews cuts Chris’ lawn, seducing Shion with wine, firing 9MM bullets in space, excelling over others in one specific skill, going full Gendo Ikari, hearing Willhem introduce more vocabulary words, introducing another masked man mystery, watching a planet disappear, preparing Plan 31, sitting in obelisk chairs, talking about Councils of Fucked Up Guys, donat...
Oct 23, 2023•1 hr 5 min•Season 5Ep. 9
Let’s meet the space junkers. Let’s also make sure we’re owing money to the Kukai Foundation, presenting as another nerd class, warning others of our addictions via head-based apparel, disrespecting space corpses, expressing interest in space necrophilia, punching a spaceship window, trying to make meaningful contact with someone, shitting in a refrigerator (???), deploying the authority hand, threatening suicide to compel to robot into action, manifesting an anime boy, touching a lady’s shoulde...
Oct 16, 2023•56 min•Season 5Ep. 8
KOSMOS has the capacity for being sassy. We don’t, but we’re debating the rules of Gnosis-touching, engaging the Hilbert Effect, cutting sausage goblins, fiddling with the menus, demanding our deaths mean something, wondering of Asimov’s laws of robotics apply here, death rattling “Feb,” once again seeking god in the machine, typing on the computer while the world ends, wondering when physicality came back to games, reporting in to a Scenario Guy, laughing like Bryan Fury, and riding an escape p...
Oct 09, 2023•57 min•Season 5Ep. 7
The company says we can’t free the slaves. While you’re in our company, we’re pounding human meat into bloody shit, violating privacy agreements, sucking a Gnosis out the airlock, dying like it’s our job, moving randomly, citing divine intervention, running around like an idiot, looting a dead man’s key, going awol during battle, going down with the ship, faking death to escape death, suffering fuel Eric explosives, citing facts and logic as we kill fake real people, and resigning from life with...
Oct 02, 2023•1 hr 6 min•Season 5Ep. 6
Cosmos is pronounced differently than KOS-MOS. This time we’re treating DME addiction as a casual hobby, jamming to the Seraphim Sisters, wondering if Realians deserve equal rights, not delivering the sexy murder robot project on time, hiding a mysterious phone call, acquiring the M.W.S., video chatting with a mysterious bad guy, indulging in the old ways to spite our sister, wishing this wouldn’t happen again, distorting space time, suffering an assault from ancient space fish, and standing on ...
Sep 25, 2023•1 hr 10 min•Season 5Ep. 5
Better safe than curry. On this episode we’re diagnosing problems with Realians strapped to inversion tables, writing Realians off as infants, equating fables and proverbs to myths and legends, driving free will out of a machine, finding ourselves addicted to the consumption of body tissue, moralizing cannibalism, referencing some kind of disaster in Miltia, locating Mr. Driller, investigating planetary disappearances, thinking about Ninja Assault, playing tag money matches, and hanging out in a...
Sep 18, 2023•1 hr 13 min•Season 5Ep. 4
Who is the most human character in Xenosaga, and is that individual even human? To figure that out, we’re chatting up our Vector co-workers, diagnosing Allen’s patheticness, discussing Jung’s origin of all shit, refusing to ask out our boss, confessing sins while we beat up our subordinates, reminisce enduring thoughts, ding-crossing with a ghost girl, slacking off because of bimbos, referencing multiple “incidents,” and committing to fix the Realians outside of union rules. Don’t have feelings ...
Sep 11, 2023•1 hr 13 min•Season 5Ep. 3
Can robots experience emotions? Can we? Listen to use try as we’re advancing time by 40 centuries, obscuring facial details, losing our minds in technobabble, looking for scientific evidence of the human soul, dancing around to move the shit of the universe, entering virtual reality, reluctantly wishing our robot weapon was our real friend, entering U.M.N. Mode for some tips, seeing enemies on screen, generating blood smoke, kicking off our sci-fi game in an industrial wasteland, holding R2 to w...
Sep 04, 2023•1 hr 17 min•Season 5Ep. 2
Hi. Welcome to season five of Retrograde Amnesia. As we let the Saga take us, we’re talking about when and where Xenosaga Episode I: Der Wille zur Macht came out, observing the will to power, establishing Xeno-links, finding inspiration in pornography, resolving to finish the soundtrack, treating cut-scene length like a threat, losing to Dead or Alive Beach Volleyball, socking the doorknob for spoilers, agreeing Xenosaga was the most important thing to ever happen, forecasting an existential cri...
Aug 28, 2023•59 min•Season 5Ep. 1
This the final farewell. On our final episode for season four, we’re closing the loop on a humiliated Lucia, owning the shit out of Han Cunningham, licking the carpet, rattling death over Seed and Culgan, thinking killing is a good thing, breaking up with my adopted kid and dead wife, filling our pockets with stolen death coins, crumbling the palace, denying the responsibility of creating a new country (Riou Country), escaping all forms of responsibility, purchasing some mannequin piss, returnin...
Aug 21, 2023•1 hr 24 min•Season 4Ep. 65
Would you like me to sheathe Odessa in you? While the boys hot me up in the mouth, we’re taking a ton of baths, waxing heads, foreshadowing Kelley, observing a knight paradox, suffering rune exhaustion, stabbing my wife in the stomach, sloshing water around, betting the farm of a fire card, cutting promos as the world burns down, dispatching Viktor on a dirty job, calling off the sacrifice play, shedding gun blood, insulating the populace from politics, and returning to our hometown. Living peop...
Aug 14, 2023•1 hr 1 min•Season 4Ep. 64
Since we are risking everything, it’s a big gamble. Risk your time and listen to us rejecting a cruel unicorn’s thesis, peer pressuring Kiba into death, completing group math problems, receiving the divine power of destiny, yarring, merging for the kill, forging citizen soldiers, combining Capture The Flag with murder, invading Rockaxe Castle, double-ko’ing a battle, separating from the main party, suffering from Rune addiction, dodging bolts with critical input timing, forgiving signs with hung...
Aug 07, 2023•1 hr 3 min•Season 4Ep. 63
It makes my heart soar like an eagle to see your face again. Hear our voices again as we’re debating pregnancy, switching Greenhill’s music, loving a lady like a sister, locating some lost clay, reuniting the musical trio, recruiting another cave-dwelling misanthrope, reuniting the two best dandy fops ever made, saving Pesmerga for last, living by the way of a level 14 sword, containing truth inside of lies, marching the troops outta here, listening to Jowy’s idiot plea to run away, cleansing th...
Jul 31, 2023•1 hr 10 min•Season 4Ep. 62
I am your death. With the rest of our life, we’re confronting an invader, casting earthquake in my bedroom, visiting the narcissist garden, choosing to fight, waiting for battlefield reports, returning the Greenhill’s forest, pleading ignorance over a severe war crime, deferring the sins of the father, assigning Yuber to the rune police, teleporting to hell, keeping Teresa’s promise, knowing the Knightdom would submit to fascists, deciding it all with a cook off, making a fucking mess in the kit...
Jul 24, 2023•1 hr 2 min•Season 4Ep. 61
I vow to aid you with all the strength in my worthless hands. After pissing all over Neclord, we’re adding eight consecutive stars of destiny to our army, never cracking a smile, founding a coven, concealing true feelings for Anabelle, disservicing worms, recruiting a literal kraken, practicing kraken monogamy, swearing to Georg that we won’t give up, developing a presence, literally pushing Gantetsu around, diverging into a new dog, switching to a new aggression, wishing Riou could join the cir...
Jul 17, 2023•58 min•Season 4Ep. 60
Now is the time to destroy the demon. As we reset reality, we’re declining the temptation of abdication, breaking our sister, following orders into hell, acting on bad information, soft-locking inside Gustav’s house, tunneling with Neclord, stating the need to seal a soul, shipping Sierra and Klaus, tricking promising youngsters, hating the self that cannot die, ethically sucking off, assembling a golem out of sprites, cutting a promo on Neclord, confirming Jesus, lamenting the zombies’ effect o...
Jul 10, 2023•1 hr 8 min•Season 4Ep. 59
When the need arises, it’s these muscles that will come in handy. On this one we’re calling into Coast to Coast AM, rendering Jess a surly dickhead, accusing town guys of being creeps, reliving Annabelle’s death, watching Leknaat have a stroke, learning that kids shouldn’t kill people, abandoning ship with Nanami, leaving shit in the hotel room, allowing zombies to engulf dirt towns, living for true meaning and promises, killing off a Star of Destiny, slapping the shit out of Riou, retreating to...
Jul 03, 2023•1 hr 3 min•Season 4Ep. 58
Speak with your fists while we talk with our mouths about running an obstacle course, gathering intel from mountain bandits, observing the town well, conjuring a bicycle, bringing water for it, refusing to pay for another meal, brandishing Window Sets, reading every available town item, unionizing mine work, hauling the dirt away, learning the secret of scroll making, smoothing out Tinto’s political situation, commenting on arm size, telling Marlowe he’s not up to the job, and questioning the ne...
Jun 26, 2023•1 hr 5 min•Season 4Ep. 57
This is a gift from my heart, I hope it will help with throwing down over the Sindar, spreading rumors of peace, becoming old enough to get lost, regressing portraits, adapting nuclear bomb logic, pumping Jowy’s dialogue into Teresa, denying Jowy anything and everything, using Pilika as human collateral, stacking up war crimes, having ill-feeling left, realizing Neclord has resurfaced in Tinto, allowing Lester to restore Hai-Yo’s confidence, tickling Gremio, validating onomatopoeias, calling in ...
Jun 19, 2023•58 min•Season 4Ep. 56
If it’s in your mouth, it’s good. And what’s in our mouth? How about sightseeing in South Window, wondering how Max got even worse, trying to pay for food with songs, farting through our stomach, singing silence, following the trail of the Sindar, selling out Alex, slapping Alex, remaining drutherless, recruiting a Riou impersonator, dancing with Karen, solving another conflict with a cookoff, examining defeat, marrying children to each other, presenting a peace treaty, fumbling the sacred moonb...
Jun 12, 2023•1 hr 5 min•Season 4Ep. 55
Whether it’s a gift from the heavens, or simply destiny, I don’t know. What I can tell you is that we’re realizing Shu pulled a move from The Art of War, sleeping for a week, demanding Simone bark like a dog, allowing Antonio to pep up Hai Yo, appealing to Gremio’s weakness, witnessing the soul still burning inside of Tir, getting a little kid abducted, hatching out of a worm, stepping back from the republican throne, gentling ribbing our war buddies, shooting our shot with Cleo, acknowledging t...
Jun 05, 2023•51 min•Season 4Ep. 54
I want to believe I am brave enough to accept fate. Until then, destiny entails massaging Luca’s ego into self-destruction, surrounding dog units with man units, sharing a face with Luc, realizing Tsai is an ugly deadbeat dad, getting our life together, caring about breeding, designating ambush positions, winning a war battle way too early, thirsting for blood, creating three tactical units, preparing our eyes for darkness, violently arrowing dudes to death, beating the holiest of shit out of Lu...
May 29, 2023•1 hr 9 min•Season 4Ep. 53
With you, I think I’ll be able to hear many new sounds. Listen close as we’re relearning about the Gate Rune War, realizing Badeaux has the shine to him, listening to the heart, wondering if everyone here only has three fingers, defending a good monster, taking up two slots, feeling the charge between Valeria and Anita, defining “maiden” for a pervert fantasy horse, blessing a white lady, recruiting a werewolf, learning more about The Group, getting Harmonia into the theater of war, piercing Fli...
May 22, 2023•54 min•Season 4Ep. 52
I would like to sound good to me. If that sounds good to you, we’re getting rid of various portraits, observing replica Tir clothes, forging an State with you, dropping dots like Humphrey, recognizing special boy eye glimmer, picking between Kasumi and Valeria, borrowing the Blinking Mirror, frittering time and money away, picking up Lorelai off the street, making 50,000 potch from Celadon Urns for Gordon’s ass, reading Sonya Shulen’s diary, suffering the noblewoman's laugh, embarrassing a ninja...
May 15, 2023•57 min•Season 4Ep. 51
Gentleness has becoming a sin in this world. Handle us with care while we’re finding Sheena up to his old assaults, boiling water at high altitudes, setting aside time to wack off, feeling inspired by the Toran Republic, pushing that inspiration into admiration, picking Freed Y to form an alliance, climbing rope for celadon urns, reflecting on Lord Granmeyer’s folly, getting Clive shot to shit, meeting another dandy fop by the river, recruiting a narcissist for the war effort, traversing another...
May 08, 2023•58 min•Season 4Ep. 50
Content warning (sexual assault) from 22:29 to 25:46. I love a good challenge, it’s what keeps me going. As we go into battle with no strategy, we're respecting our opponents, alienating the dog race, getting married and knighted at the same time, recognizing the wine of fealty, poisoning a blood beverage, rearranging units, performing racism as a ruse, equating ceremonial decapitation to a waste of resources, accepting a lesser strategist, aging 56 years in 37 years, killing Barbara in the kitc...
May 01, 2023•56 min•Season 4Ep. 49
What’s wrong, don’t you think it’s beautiful? As we try to control our emotion, we’re witnessing a doubled-headed spectral wolf suck souls off, projecting filth, distrusting illegitimate blood, blinking out like a Mad Gear gang member, telling Knight Father of war crimes, debating a knight’s honor, quitting my job, getting my boys to quit their job, pulling Leon out of the ether, suddenly deciding Riou is too important, watching a chef commit suicide for a cake recipe, loafing off, denying a mon...
Apr 24, 2023•57 min•Season 4Ep. 48
If you're lying, they’ll kill you. In our search for truth, we exploring cop land, blowing off a mustache, refusing to sing a song, abandoning our milk slinging duties, rejecting army recruiters, filling Kent’s head with dragon fantasies, beating up a harpy, listening to a tremendous beating of wings, finally hearing about Lord TcDohl, finding a big egg in a gravy pool, christening Bright, helping Miklotov remain inconspicuous, forcing while resisting, debating clockwork knights, and preparing t...
Apr 17, 2023•1 hr 1 min•Season 4Ep. 47
Whack to your heart’s content. After we pickle up, we get down to employing a new voice, founding and then quitting the Jeanies, losing sheep in the woods, picking up a healthy chick, depositing books in the library, checking suspicious characters, washing GenGen in a wooden basket, recruiting even more children, making one of them a groupie, telling my lunatic boss I want to marry his sister, beating the fuck out of hideous pastel elves, reacquiring Viki, establishing a base, submitting to anot...
Apr 10, 2023•1 hr 5 min•Season 4Ep. 46
