A mother writes that her toddler son “can’t keep his hands off” his 10-month old sister. She describes his demeanor as a mixture of excitement and affection, but she also senses an undertone of aggression. She wants them both to feel her support when they’re together in one space, but she finds herself either holding him back or removing the baby altogether. “I’d like to find a safe way for them to engage with each other,” she writes. “At least sometimes.” Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is ...
Jul 05, 2022•17 min•Ep. 239
Early childhood expert Kisha Reid joins Janet in a lively conversation about the often overlooked and underestimated benefits of play-driven learning and how we can nurture these lifelong gifts for our children. Kisha and Janet discuss the magic of trusting children to discover and develop their passions and how our fears, misperceptions, and impatience as parents can get in their way. Reid weighs in on how to balance free play with lessons, sports, and other extracurriculars and whether parents...
Jun 28, 2022•40 min•Ep. 238
Janet shares an exchange with a mom requesting "alternatives to time out when natural consequences aren’t appropriate." The parent wonders how to intervene with her toddler when she is possessive and aggressive around other kids. For more advice on common parenting issues, please check out Janet's best-selling books on Audible. Paperbacks and e-books are also available at Amazon, Google Play, Barnes & Noble, and Apple Books. Janet's exclusive audio series "Sessions" is available for download...
Jun 21, 2022•15 min•Ep. 237
The mother of a four-year-old is frustrated that her child will never say “I’m sorry" when he's done something wrong. She has tried both gentle and more forceful approaches, as well as attempting to help him understand the spirit and intent of an apology, all to no effect. Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at NoBadKidsCourse.com and JanetLansbury.com . For more advice on common parenting issues, please check out Janet's best-selling books on Audible. Paperbacks a...
Jun 14, 2022•14 min•Ep. 236
Our children's repeated behaviors can be baffling, exhausting, and sometimes infuriating, particularly after we've tried everything we can think of to make them stop. What are we missing? In this episode of ‘Unruffled’, Janet shares some of the common reasons behaviors persist and offers her actionable suggestions for helping our children (and ourselves) get unstuck. Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at NoBadKidsCourse.com and JanetLansbury.com . For more advice ...
Jun 08, 2022•31 min•Ep. 235
How does respectful care work when we have more than one child? What can we do when siblings, multiples, and other groups of children seem to need our attention all at once? Janet's guest is early childhood specialist Erica Orosco Cruz, a mother of 4 and the founder/director of Homeschool Garden, a childcare center and preschool/kindergarten for children ages 1-6. Erica trained with Magda Gerber. She encourages parents to allow their children to participate actively in their own care, empower th...
May 24, 2022•41 min•Ep. 234
Janet discusses the challenges and benefits of authenticity -- how being real with our children helps us to achieve our goals as parents, strengthens our relationship, and even makes our lives easier. Janet says that it was Magda Gerber who modeled authenticity for her, and her teachings “freed me to embrace my authentic, messy inner life and my messy parenting and my messy relationships. And this is what I would love to pass along in my imperfect way so that you too can be inspired to be authen...
May 11, 2022•21 min•Ep. 233
Janet’s guest is the world-renowned nutritionist, family therapist, and author Ellyn Satter. Throughout her long career, Ellyn has successfully addressed issues related to eating and feeding and taught parents how to transform meals into happy, healthful, struggle-free events. “There is so much interference with sensible feeding,” Ellyn says. Her wise, empathetic, research-backed advice helps families to reshape their relationships with food, removing the conflict and drama that sometimes accomp...
Apr 27, 2022•37 min•Ep. 232
Janet responds to a series of questions from her inbox about some typical behavior challenges parents face. Topics include a child refusing to follow directions, another who stirs up a sibling's emotions leaving the parent struggling to cope with her two upset children at once, a daughter who repeats her parent's foul language, and a son who reflects the mannerisms of his less mature peer. Janet finds common themes in these issues that she hopes will ease parents' minds and help them to respond ...
Apr 12, 2022•26 min•Ep. 231
In response to Janet's article “When Your Child Seems Stuck Seeking Negative Attention,” a parent says her daughter will whine and cry while making "reasonable" requests for snuggles and food and play, but when she obliges, her daughter often then refuses those things. If she says no to her daughter’s requests, “it escalates into crying hard and being truly upset.” These reactions lead the parent to suspect that her daughter may actually want to hear ‘no’ so she can have an emotional release. Sh...
Mar 29, 2022•21 min•Ep. 230
Inspired by a listener's request, Janet offers a list of daily reminders that she hopes will help parents meet the challenges of their day with more clarity, calmness, and confidence. Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at NoBadKidsCourse.com and JanetLansbury.com . For more advice on common parenting issues, please check out Janet's best-selling books on Audible. Paperbacks and e-books are also available at Amazon, Google Play, Barnes & Noble, and Apple Books....
Mar 15, 2022•29 min•Ep. 229
A parent describes experiencing a dramatic shift in her parenting perspective through the ideas Janet offers in her podcasts and books. The developmentally appropriate lens suggested by Janet and her mentor Magda Gerber has transformed this parent's relationship with her baby. She is gaining more compassion for her child and herself, learning to regulate her emotions, feel more confident, and use her energy wisely. She's even noticing surprising results in specific situations. For instance, by f...
Mar 01, 2022•19 min•Ep. 228
A single parent writes that she is frustrated and exhausted by her almost 3-year-old’s constant resistance. Every aspect of their lives is either a negotiation or a struggle: dressing, leaving the house, getting into his car seat, drop-offs at school. This mom describes some recent big transitions in her boy’s life, and she is sensitive to the possibility that he may have separation issues. She says she does incorporate many of Janet’s ideas into her parenting practices, but she’s desperate for ...
Feb 16, 2022•28 min•Ep. 227
While every child will eventually and inevitably learn to use the potty, the process can be stressful, frustrating, and often counterproductive for both the child and caregiver. Janet knows it doesn’t have to be this way. She offers her perspective on the process and a potty learning method that recognizes a child’s natural motivation to achieve this milestone (they can do this), and how parents can support the effort without pressure, bribes, or deal-making. The result is a child whose self-con...
Jan 27, 2022•24 min•Ep. 226
A parent writes that she and her husband are concerned their toddler feels responsible for their emotions. This is a trait they both recognize from their own backgrounds. “He asks again and again, ‘Happy, mommy?’ as if he’s trying to help me be happy.” This mom says that if she admits that, no, she is not entirely happy at the moment, he gives her hugs and cuddles and persists in asking if she's happy. While these parents want to foster their child’s empathy and sensitivity, they don’t want him ...
Jan 06, 2022•21 min•Ep. 225
Pediatric sleep expert Grace Koinange joins Janet this week to share her experience, knowledge, and a few secrets for helping babies and toddlers to sleep. Janet had the privilege of seeing Grace in action and was impressed by her ability to tune in to a baby's most subtle cues and support his individual sleep rhythm. Grace and Janet discuss consistency, self-confidence, nurturing sleep from infancy, helping a toddler transition to a new sleeping arrangement, and trust in the child as an active ...
Dec 15, 2021•42 min•Ep. 224
Loryn Brantz is an author, illustrator, and comic creator raising a daughter with disabilities. Dalia was born with a rare genetic abnormality that made feeding an all-night process, and doctors were not confident she would ever crawl, much less walk. Throughout their journey, Loryn has supported Dalia with acceptance, optimism, and love. In return, she is continually inspired. “I see her disability and her uniqueness as part of what makes her so amazing and special. And everything she does is g...
Dec 01, 2021•27 min•Ep. 223
Janet responds to emails from parents who describe struggling with their children’s strong emotions. One writes that her 2-year-old rejects her comfort when he has a meltdown: “It breaks my heart, and I feel like I must be doing something wrong.” Another writes that her 7-year-old says he doesn’t feel love from his mother. Another email describes how a 3-year-old’s tantrums last all afternoon and into the evening, disrupting the rest of the family’s routine, and they “all feel trapped by a 3-yea...
Nov 10, 2021•30 min•Ep. 222
Janet shares a family's inspiring success story about dealing with their 3.5-year-old’s repeated, seemingly wanton problem behavior. The parent admits that both she and her husband were frustrated and “triggered” by the behavior, and they reacted with anger and scolding. The situation came to a head when their boy started lying about his actions, which was particularly hurtful to his dad. After reading some of Janet’s advice, they were able to consider their child’s POV with empathy and realize ...
Oct 20, 2021•21 min•Ep. 221
A parent writes that her 4-year-old daughter begins each morning by screaming and wailing, and the routine has worn this mom down. “It gets right under my skin,” she admits, “and makes me want to run away.” While she does acknowledge her daughter’s emotions in these moments, tries to understand and be patient, she has to get ready for work and sometimes ends up yelling or crying herself. This mom wants to know: “Just how long should I spend offering comfort before I make good on my plan to take ...
Oct 14, 2021•24 min•Ep. 220
A courageous “Unruffled” listener shares how Janet’s respectful parenting approach seemed an impossible goal during a dark period of self-discovery, but it also presented a beacon of hope. As she struggled to come to grips with recovered memories of her childhood abuse, her relationship with her two young children was combative and destructive. She was left feeling like a complete failure, unable to parent in the loving, respectful way she had always imagined. Her journey to the other side of th...
Oct 07, 2021•36 min•Ep. 219
A parent's email describes her 4-year-old daughter as smart, funny, incredibly strong-willed, but sometimes “downright mean.” While she appreciates her child’s spirit and doesn’t want to stifle that, when she says mean things to her she doesn’t feel it’s enough to simply acknowledge her daughter’s emotions and let slide her hurtful words and behavior. “I need her to find a better way to express that she is angry with me,” she writes. Janet offers a perspective on the situation that she believes ...
Sep 29, 2021•26 min•Ep. 218
Janet’s guest is Dr. Meghan Owenz, a psychologist, professor, parent, and author. Meghan’s new book “Spoiled Right: Delaying Screens and Giving Children What They Really Need” offers the latest research on the effects of screens on young children along with a plethora of practical alternatives. Both Janet and Meghan acknowledge that during the last many months of homeschooling, severely limited socializing, and close quarters, exhausted parents have understandably relied on screens to get some m...
Sep 16, 2021•34 min•Ep. 217
Janet offers her advice for navigating typical playground behaviors in preschool-aged children, such as physical aggression, bossiness and shyness. Whether our child is exhibiting these behaviors or is on the receiving end of another child's dysregulation, Janet shares how helping children to feel understood, protected, and supported encourages the most positive learning process. For more advice on common parenting issues, please check out Janet's best-selling books on Audible, FREE with a 30-da...
Sep 09, 2021•28 min•Ep. 216
A parent writes that her 3.5-year-old just started pre-school and has been bringing home some new behaviors like “lifting her dress to expose her bottom… or making poop and fart sounds.” She especially likes to perform these behaviors for her grandparents or when company comes over. “I like to be funny,” she says. This mom has tried several strategies to reign in her daughter, including ignoring the behavior, but so far without success. Janet offers perspective on both the little girl’s behavior...
Sep 03, 2021•21 min•Ep. 215
A parent struggles to control emotions like anger, frustration, and disappointment when they’re triggered by her toddler. While she strives to be a confident leader by appearing calm and unruffled, she also wants to model her emotions authentically for her child. Janet clarifies what it really means to be "unruffled" and how parents can approach this goal without faking or stuffing their emotions. For more advice on common parenting issues, please check out Janet's best-selling books on Audible,...
Aug 18, 2021•22 min•Ep. 214
Janet offers advice for handling some of the most common complaints parents share about their children's mealtime behavior: throwing food on the floor, leaving and then returning to the table, refusing to eat certain foods, and lingering endlessly. Janet shares her view that all of these behaviors reflect 3 basic needs children have at mealtime, and by recognizing and filling those needs, the behaviors ultimately subside. For more advice on common parenting issues, please check out Janet's best-...
Aug 11, 2021•24 min•Ep. 213
Early childhood education luminary Rae Pica joins Janet to share her expertise about how children really learn and to debunk some common parenting myths that can impede a child’s natural development. Rae has dedicated herself to the mission of developing and educating the whole child. She is the author of 20 books, a popular keynote speaker, and throughout her decades-long career has consulted with numerous diverse public and private groups as well as schools and health departments throughout th...
Aug 04, 2021•30 min•Ep. 212
Three different families write to Janet about their children's challenging behaviors. In one case, a 2.5-year-old has resumed an old behavior of hitting and scratching, “but this time around it feels like he’s doing it with more purpose.” Another parent says that when their 5-year-old exhibits rude behavior and is called on it, he gets angry and accuses both parents of being mean to him. A third parent writes that her son loves rule breaking, often in dangerous situations, and that “his eyes lig...
Jul 21, 2021•26 min•Ep. 211
Cassandra Lane is an author, Editor-in-Chief of “LA Parent Magazine,” and a mother (something she vowed she would never be). She joins Janet to discuss her new book “We Are Bridges” in which her personal journey from a childhood of poverty and racism to motherhood is juxtaposed against the traumas and upheavals of her ancestors. Her artful storytelling, both memoir and historical imagining, reminds us that we are all inextricably linked to our ancestors, both genetically and experientially. "Not...
Jul 14, 2021•32 min•Ep. 210
