In this final episode before the break, Sharon Costanzo reflects on her year, the thought-provoking books and stories that are on her mind, and how it paints her unique perspective as a woman navigating a world dominated by patriarchal structures. Sharon reflects on recent events, including Blake Lively and Jason Baldoni, the overturning of Donald Trump’s sexual assault case, and the broader challenges women face when speaking out. With eyes toward the future, Sharon explores how patriarchy limi...
Jan 07, 2025•14 min•Season 1Ep. 157
The holidays can be a challenging time for many women, who often find themselves feeling unappreciated and overwhelmed. In this episode of Respected and Connected, Sharon Costanzo explores why this is such a common experience and how to navigate it with grace and confidence. Sharon dives into how phrases like "should" can reinforce harmful societal constructs—and why saying “It means a lot to me” can open the door to meaningful communication. Develop winning strategies for feeling more respected...
Dec 31, 2024•31 min•Season 1Ep. 156
In this reflective episode of Respected & Connected, Sharon Costanzo announces that the podcast will be going on hold and shares powerful lessons she’s learned along the way. Drawing from her own experiences in business and life, Sharon offers actionable insights on maintaining relational integrity and making aligned decisions. Sharon explores the importance of defining what you want, recognizing what’s not working, and breaking free from unhelpful patterns to create meaningful connections. ...
Dec 17, 2024•13 min•Season 1Ep. 155
In this episode, Sharon discusses three levels of expressing your needs to your partner—invitation, request, and demand — and how each approach is based on how important the issue is to you. Consider these three tools to frame requests in a way that fosters collaboration and mutual respect, helping your partner feel engaged and successful in meeting your needs. Connect with Sharon: Website: https://www.respectedandconnected.com Connect on instagram: https://www.instagram.com/respected_and_connec...
Dec 10, 2024•19 min•Season 1Ep. 154
Schedule a Gridlock Breakthrough Session and get the clarity and confidence you need to address a relationship challenge: https://www.respectedandconnected.com/gridlock --- Would you be surprised to know that aspects of engineering can be applied to strengthen relationships? Our Guest today, Gabriela Embon, shares with us how the mindset of an engineer can help you set goals, troubleshoot issues, and show up with dedication and commitment when working with your partner. Join us today as Gabriela...
Dec 03, 2024•38 min•Season 1Ep. 153
Have you ever heard of Relational Life Therapy? It’s an incredible tool in couple’s therapy! In this episode Sharon takes a moment to describe what Relational Life Therapy is, how it confronts gender norms and empowers couple’s to approach each other on an equal field. Learn how RLT can help you show up with love and authenticity to deepen your connection with your partner, and yourself. Website and Linktree: Connect with Sharon Website: https://www.respectedandconnected.com Connect on instagram...
Nov 26, 2024•28 min•Season 1Ep. 152
Have you ever wondered how your past relationships have shaped your emotional responses to your partner? This episode explores the four different relationship attachment styles. Our Guest today is Bev Mitelman M.A., the founder of Securely Loved. Bev and Sharon dive into attachment styles, and how those subconscious patterns affect how we perceive conflict with our loved ones. Learn about the four key relationship attachment styles; Secure, Anxious Preoccupied, Fearful Avoidant, and Dismissive A...
Nov 19, 2024•54 min•Season 1Ep. 151
Tired of feeling let down or resentful in your relationships? This episode explores the hidden power of disappointment. Sharon dives deep into common mistakes we make when dealing with unmet expectations. Learn practical skills like the "Feedback Wheel" and "Soft Startup" to transform conflict into connection. Discover how to avoid unhealthy coping mechanisms and communicate your needs effectively, even after betrayals or during life transitions. Website and Linktree: Connect with Sharon Website...
Nov 12, 2024•31 min•Season 1Ep. 150
Is unconditional love a worthwhile aspiration or an unrealistic expectation? In this episode, Zach Beach shares his insights on the concept of unconditional love and how it can be navigated alongside the necessary boundaries in various relationships. He emphasizes the importance of setting intentions and aspirations, the significance of integrating both the relative and absolute aspects of our human experience, and the necessity of maintaining boundaries as a form of self-love. Zach also explore...
Nov 05, 2024•39 min•Season 1Ep. 149
Do you ever hold back in asking for what you want in your relationship because you’re not sure if your expectations are reasonable? I hear this all the time. And while I sometimes think that people do have unrealistic expectations of their intimate relationships, I also think that we’re asking the wrong question. In this episode, we discuss: A few guiding principles for understanding and communicating your expectations How to be more thoughtful about how you communicate and negotiate getting you...
Oct 29, 2024•22 min•Season 1Ep. 148
Men…do you know what your partner needs to feel safe & provided for in today’s relationships? Because it has changed. Kristal DeSantis is a marriage and family therapist who specializes in men’s issues. She’s the author of the book Strong: A Relationship Field Guide for the Modern Man. And she’s on the podcast today to talk about some of the ideas and concepts she’s learned from working with men and helping them navigate intimate relationships. Topics discussed: How expectations for intimate...
Oct 22, 2024•37 min•Season 1Ep. 147
What do you do when you’re doing your best to use good relationship skills and your partner isn’t responding well? If you’ve ever felt like things go wrong no matter how hard you try, this episode is for you. Topics discussed: Understanding relationship phases - love without knowledge, knowledge without love, and knowing love Identifying common reactions to unmet expectations Choosing healthier strategies for effective communication The importance of patience and persistence in the process of ch...
Oct 15, 2024•29 min•Season 1Ep. 146
Have you ever used a personality test to help you understand your partner or your relationship better? Today’s guest Laurel Roberts-Meese is a therapist who uses the enneagram with individuals and couples to help them understand their fears, motivations, and behaviors better. Topics discussed: The nine enneagram types, their fears, and motivations The enneagram as a trauma informed personality typing system Understanding conflicts in a couple through the lens of the enneagram How understanding e...
Oct 08, 2024•48 min•Season 1Ep. 145
One question that I get often as a relationship coach is - when should someone see a professional for help with their relationship? A lot of us have an idea of the BIG things that end most relationships like abuse and infidelity, but what about everything else? What about couples that just feel stuck, aren’t feeling close, fight too much…but don’t know if things are bad enough to warrant investing in getting help? As a relationship coach, I’m a huge advocate for getting help before you’re in cri...
Oct 01, 2024•24 min•Season 1Ep. 144
Hear Sharon on the other end of the mic in this conversation with hosts of the Couples Therapy in Seven Words podcast. Topics discussed: Sharon’s personal journey navigating cultural expectations, pursuing a career in engineering, and advocating for a more equitable relationship Navigating gender role conflicts Advocating for yourself by “calling in” instead of “calling out” Website and Linktree: Free Guide: Five Skills for an Intimate, Collaborative Relationship: Respectedandconnected.com/skill...
Sep 24, 2024•43 min•Season 1Ep. 143
Have you ever wondered why you and your partner can view the same situation so differently? You can’t even agree about what happened and how you should handle it. Trying to make up that difference and get on the same page can be absolutely mind boggling. Today’s guest, Thais Gibson, is here to help. We’re talking about attachment styles and understanding your relationship through an attachment lens can help you understand each other better and handle your differences more productively. Topics di...
Sep 17, 2024•43 min•Season 1Ep. 142
Do you hate feeling resentful toward your partner and not knowing what to do about it? Resentment is a tricky emotion. It tells you that something is wrong, but it’s not very good at helping you move forward. It’s not fair to you or your partner to stay stuck in resentment. So today I’m sharing five ways to overcome resentment in your marriage, so that you can start enjoying and appreciating your partner again. Topics discussed: Balancing acceptance and advocating for change Understanding the un...
Sep 10, 2024•26 min•Season 1Ep. 141
We hear all the time that co-parenting with your ex is hard. And it seems almost inevitable that you’re going to be arguing and maybe even taking each other to court often between the time that you split until the kids have all grown. Our guest today - Julia Hoffman - says it doesn’t have to be that way. You can choose to have a different kind of coparenting relationship, starting with taking full responsibility for creating the kind of experience you want to have. Topics discussed: Challenging ...
Sep 03, 2024•40 min•Season 1Ep. 140
We hear all the time that marriage is work. But nobody is talking about what that work is, how to work with a less enthusiastic partner, when what you’ve got is as good as it gets, or when to shift gears and try something else. In this episode, Sharon breaks down her four part framework for realistic, lasting relationship growth. Topics Discussed: How to figure out what relationship advice to follow and what to ignore Why trauma work and regulating your nervous system isn’t enough to have the ki...
Aug 27, 2024•17 min•Season 1Ep. 139
What should you do if you’re unhappy enough in your marriage to consider divorce? Divorce is expensive, it’s messy, and complicated. And it’s hard for kids. But staying in a marriage that isn’t working is also a really hard and painful way to live. Anna Howerton joins the podcast to talk about navigating the divorce contemplation phase. Listen to learn about what to do when you’re contemplating divorce, how to determine what can be improved, and when to walk away. Topics Discussed: The importanc...
Aug 20, 2024•42 min•Season 1Ep. 138
Would you like to learn how to set boundaries around difficult behavior without creating more drama? In this episode, we dive into the often discussed but misunderstood concept of boundaries. Sharon shares some ideas for de-escalating and neutralizing offensive behavior without being punitive or provocative. Website and Linktree: Get the full show notes and links to the resources mentioned at https://respectedandconnected.com/podcast/b/ep-137 Connect with Sharon Website: https://www.respectedand...
Aug 13, 2024•18 min•Season 1Ep. 137
Let’s face it. Most of us haven’t been taught how to do conflict well. And our lack of skill in tough conversations can really wreak havoc on our relationships. In this episode, host Sharon Costanzo talks to Kat Newport about the principles from her book Smart Conflict. Kat has done some brilliant work identifying and teaching the core skills for navigating conflict. Not only is her process simple and easy to understand, but it’s warm and compassionate and empowering. Tune in for tips on how to ...
Aug 06, 2024•32 min•Season 1Ep. 136
Feel like you’re doing too much work in your relationship? Jessica Myers-Adams, a certified therapist and relationship coach talks about the power of being a relationship visionary. We explore practical strategies for improving relationships even in the face of personal challenges & disappointment. We discuss: the importance of self and other differentiation, making every problem your own, and the significance of listening and positive reinforcement in relationships Website and Linktree: Get...
Jul 30, 2024•43 min•Season 1Ep. 135
Can too much stability in a relationship be a bad thing? Dr. Bruce Chalmer, a psychologist with over 30 years of experience in couples therapy says that often couples get so good at stability in their relationship that they neglect their need for intimacy. We discuss: The tension between stability & intimacy in relationships Bruce’s seven word formula for couples work Recovering from infidelity The importance of relying on faith to get through the hard parts Website and Linktree: Get the ful...
Jul 23, 2024•26 min•Season 1Ep. 134
A very casual conversation with Corrie Woods about our mutual dislike for the very common relationship advice to “let men lead.” Website and Linktree: Get the full show notes and links to the resources mentioned at https://respectedandconnected.com/podcast/b/ep-133 Sign up for the next Thriving Together Couples Call: https://www.respectedandconnected.com/together Connect with Sharon Website: https://www.respectedandconnected.com Connect on instagram: https://www.instagram.com/respected_and_conne...
Jul 16, 2024•54 min•Season 1Ep. 133
What’s wrong with being a “Nice Guy” anyway? Jason Lange, a specialist in men’s issues, particularly the Nice Guy Syndrome shares his insights on the evolution of men’s roles and the importance of being connected with one’s power, head, and heart. We discuss: What is the Nice Guy Syndrome and how do men develop it Challenges and misconceptions about Nice Guys Advice for couples and individuals dealing with Nice Guy Syndrome How men and women can create more satisfying, authentic partnerships Web...
Jul 09, 2024•42 min•Season 1Ep. 132
Have you ever felt hesitant to speak up and advocate for the supportive partnership that you want? Dr. Julie Hanks, a licensed therapist, owner of Wasatch Family Therapy, and well known influencer, shares her insights on creating partnership families and the challenges that often come with this endeavor. We discuss: The concept of aspirational shame and how it prevents women from pursuing their goals and advocating for their spouse’s support The importance of valuing unpaid work Key characterist...
Jul 02, 2024•33 min•Season 1Ep. 131
Would you like to experience greater intimacy and connection with your male partner? In this episode, we welcome Eric Fitz Medrud, a therapist specializing in relationships and men's issues. Eric shares his personal journey from struggling with his own desires and ethical values to becoming a specialist in relationship and sexuality therapy. He highlights common misconceptions women have about men’s emotional and sexual behaviors, emphasizing the importance of safety, consent, and compassionate ...
Jun 25, 2024•39 min•Season 1Ep. 130
What did you learn about sex growing up and how is it impacting your marriage? In this enlightening episode, we sit down with Dr. Tina Schermer Sellers, an esteemed author and sex therapist, to explore the profound impact of sexual shame on intimacy and relationships. Dr. Sellers shares her extensive knowledge on the subject, drawing from years of experience in helping individuals and couples navigate the complex landscape of sexuality and shame. We delve into topics like the roots of sexual sha...
Jun 18, 2024•36 min•Season 1Ep. 129
What’s the best way to respond when your spouse rejects your carefully considered requests? In this episode, we dive into the often overlooked yet critical topic of dealing with rejection in marriage. Sharon shares valuable insights on maintaining a healthy relationship despite disappointments. Listen to learn how to handle rejection with grace and foster a greater capacity for generosity, vulnerability, and risk-taking within your relationships. Website and Linktree: Get the full show notes and...
Jun 11, 2024•18 min•Season 1Ep. 128
