What do you do when your back is against the wall?

"My father was one of those men who sit in a room and you can feel it: the simmer, the sense of some unpredictable force that might, at any moment, break loose, and do something terrible." I was completely broken down- emotionally, spiritually and as a result played on my physical appearance. A broken self esteem and a terrifying childhood, I managed to wear a mask of pretense while I was dying on the inside...