We have to have them, but we don’t like them: the difficult conversation. Even if you’re someone who’s more comfortable with conflict, no one really likes to have an exchange that you believe is going to make you or the other person uncomfortable, angry or sad. Whether you’re struggling with your partner, a friend, family member or coworker, I’m here to help! Today I’m teaching you with my three-step process for turning difficult conversations into connecting dialogues. ✅ Full blog and shownotes...
Jun 27, 2022•59 min•Season 4Ep. 198
Are you wondering if you’re staying in a relationship for the right reasons? Maybe you’ve been waffling back and forth wondering if this relationship is healthy. How do you know if you’re staying because it’s truly right for you or if you’re in your relationship for the wrong reasons and it’s time to move on? Today I’m going to talk about the the big mistake most people make when they’re trying to decide whether to stay or go and my three-step process for figuring out the right answers for your ...
Jun 20, 2022•51 min•Season 4Ep. 197
We’ve all been there. You’re trying to express your feelings and then your partner gets angry and defensive and says, “What about my feelings?!” Or maybe you’re trying to assert yourself with a usually bossy friend by saying you’d actually rather see a different movie tonight and she replies, “It always has to be your way!” WTF?! You end up feeling resentful, misunderstood and, worst of all, hopeless that things will ever change. Today, I’m going to break down what’s really happening when the co...
Jun 13, 2022•41 min•Season 4Ep. 196
There’s one tool that will improve all your relationships. It’s not hard to do and it creates emotional connection and trust in seconds. It’s something that marriage guru, Dr. John Gottman, calls “Bids.” But bids aren’t just great in a marriage, they’ll transform any relationship. Today I’m going to teach you what they are (your partner, kids and friends have been making bids and you don’t even realize it) and how to use them to create a deeper connection in any relationship. Full shownotes and ...
Jun 06, 2022•1 hr 3 min•Season 4Ep. 195
How do you know if you really love someone? It bugs me when people say, “You’ll just know” as if everyone experiences love so clearly with a bunch of birds flying in a circle above their head. Many people have written in asking that big question, “How do I know if I love someone?” and today I’m going to talk about what the research says, my top 3 ways to know if you’re really in love with someone and what I think about soul mates. Full blog and shownotes: https://abbymedcalf.com/how-do-you-know-...
May 30, 2022•45 min•Season 4Ep. 194
It's easier than you think to become amazing at meditation and meditating just 15 minutes a day will change your life! Imagine feeling more content in your life and confident in your decisions. Imagine all your relationships improving as you’re able to communicate more effectively. Imagine stopping the self-doubt, regrets and guilt! Today I’m teaching you why you’re not meditating and my simple steps to making it an easy part of your day. Full blog and shownotes: https://abbymedcalf.com/how-medi...
May 23, 2022•49 min•Season 4Ep. 193
What do you do if you’re embarrassed by your partner? There are four main ways you might be feeling embarrassed about something your partner did or said and today I’m going to answer a question from a listener while describing how to deal when all you want to do is wince. Full shownotes and blog: https://abbymedcalf.com/what-to-do-if-youre-embarrassed-by-your-partner/ ________________________________________ Subscribe today to get my love letter to you! This biweekly reminder will keep you on th...
May 16, 2022•33 min•Season 4Ep. 192
There are lots of different communication styles out there but, if you want to be an effective communicator in satisfying relationships, you’ve got to learn to be assertive and direct. The research has identified four main communication styles. Three of them aren’t so great but one is a healthy way to be an assertive and effective communicator. Stay tuned to find out which style you are and how to shift into consistent, direct, successful communication in all your relationships. Full blog and sh...
May 09, 2022•54 min•Season 4Ep. 191
Everything from your sex life, to troubles with your boss at work, to your ability to trust and be open with your partner can be affected by abuse or trauma from your childhood. The good news is that the challenges you face today don’t have to be permanent! Today I’m breaking down what childhood abuse includes (you’d be amazed how many people I’ve worked with don’t even realize that what happened to them as a kid is actually some type of abuse or trauma), why and how childhood trauma affects rel...
May 02, 2022•1 hr 9 min•Season 4Ep. 190
Do you feel like you’re the one putting in the lion’s share of effort in your relationship? How can you get your partner to own up and do their fair share? In today’s episode I’ll be answering one of your questions and giving my two cents (and more) about what you should do if you feel like you’re putting in 100% but your partner isn’t meeting you halfway. Full shownotes and blog: https://abbymedcalf.com/how-can-i-make-my-partner-put-more-effort-into-our-relationship-2/ _________________________...
Apr 25, 2022•37 min•Season 4Ep. 189
The secret to happy, successful relationships boils down to two things: your attention and your intention. I’ve been talking about the importance of focusing your attention and setting your intention for a while now. What I haven’t done, is explain the difference and how these two concepts work together to bring happiness and success to all your relationships. Your attention activates and your intention transforms and today I’m going to teach you how to do both! Full shownotes and blog: https://...
Apr 18, 2022•55 min•Season 4Ep. 188
Whether you call it self-discipline, grit, determination or willpower, the research shows that people who learn self-control are happier, healthier and have stronger relationships. But how do you get there -- how do you have more self-discipline and self-control? Today I’m sharing a whole new way of understanding willpower and self-discipline, the secret to why you’ve failed in your efforts before and my top five research-backed tips to have you back in control of your life. Full blog and showno...
Apr 11, 2022•1 hr 5 min•Season 4Ep. 187
Your partner is friends with an ex and it's bugging you! Is it OK to be jealous? Can exes really be just friends? How should you approach your partner about your unhappiness? Today I'm answering these questions and more in this #AskDrAbby episode of the podcast! Full shownotes and blog: https://abbymedcalf.com/what-to-do-if-your-partner-is-friends-with-an-ex-and-you-dont-like-it-2/ Grab my FREE list of Collaborative Questions: https://abbymedcalf.com/what-to-do-if-your-partner-is-friends-with-an...
Apr 04, 2022•37 min•Season 4Ep. 186
You’ve got some issue(s) with your partner -- some things they’re doing that are driving you crazy or maybe it’s some things they’re not doing that have gotten under your skin. But every time you try to speak to them about your relationship problems, you’re met with anger and defensiveness and it turns into a fight, so you never feel like you get any resolution! In this special Ask Dr. Abby episode of the podcast, I’m going to share some tips to help you get out of the fighting rut and find some...
Mar 28, 2022•37 min•Season 4Ep. 185
You’re looking to save your relationship but it’s not in a great place. Where do you start? Can you even change a damaged relationship if your partner isn’t interested in doing anything? The answer is “Yes!” You can absolutely make changes, but you’ve got to approach your relationship in a new way. Today I’m sharing my 3-step process to restart your relationship plus I have a special gift just for today’s episode, so stay tuned! Full shownotes: https://abbymedcalf.com/how-to-save-a-damaged-relat...
Mar 21, 2022•48 min•Season 4Ep. 184
I’ve gotten a lot of letters and questions from people who are in relationships that they know aren’t “good for them” whether due to addiction or something else, but they don’t know how to leave an unhealthy relationship or if they ever can or even should! In this episode of Ask Dr. Abby I’m coming at you with a whole new way to think about these types of relationships so, if you’ve been struggling, you’re in the right place! __________________________________________ Subscribe today to get my w...
Mar 14, 2022•38 min•Season 4Ep. 183
Being in love is awesome! And it can also be a huge pain in the ass! Nothing brings us more joy (or more pain) than our romantic partnerships but all the information out there about what to do can be so confusing! Today, I’m cutting through all the noise and bringing you the keys to a long, happy relationship, backed by research. Full shownotes: https://abbymedcalf.com/how-to-have-a-long-and-happy-relationship-backed-by-research/ Grab my FREE Mindfulness Starter Kit: https://abbymedcalf.com/how-...
Mar 07, 2022•42 min•Season 4Ep. 182
Your relationship ended but now you’re hearing (or even seeing through your secret IG stalking account) that your ex has moved on and is happy in their new relationship! You’re outraged and doubting yourself! How can they be happy so soon (or why couldn’t they at least wait until after you’re happy in your new, better relationship)?! In this Ask Dr. Abby episode I’m answering your question about why you’re anxious, obsessed and angry at your ex and, as always, giving you tips for how to move on....
Feb 28, 2022•25 min•Season 4Ep. 181
Whether you call it self-love, self-approval or self-compassion the research shows that learning to accept yourself is one of the keys to emotional well-being and happiness. Today you’ll learn why it’s so darn hard to accept yourself and the 5 things you can do to start practicing self-acceptance right now. Full shownotes: https://abbymedcalf.com/how-to-practice-self-acceptance-my-top-5-tips-2/ Blog: https://abbymedcalf.com/how-to-practice-self-acceptance-my-top-5-tips/ 🎁 Listen to my Loving Ki...
Feb 21, 2022•37 min•Season 4Ep. 180
For women in heterosexual relationships, understanding the men we love can be quite a challenge. And so I've brought in some reinforcements! Shana James, MA, has been coaching men for decades – helping them, understanding them, and figuring out how they really tick. Today we’ll cover the 5 things women need to know about men. Stay tuned! Full shownotes: https://abbymedcalf.com/bonus-the-5-things-women-need-to-know-about-men-with-shana-james/ Grab Shana’s free guides for both women and men right ...
Feb 17, 2022•47 min
Today I’m speaking to the amazing Tess Brigham! She’s been dubbed the “Millennial Therapist” by CNBC and specializes in helping young adults discover their unique life path in order to go out into the world and make an impact. Tess is a licensed therapist and certified coach with over 15 years of experience helping thousands of people find their purpose, develop their confidence, and create a life they’re excited about living. She’s a regular contributor at both CNBC and Forbes and was featured ...
Feb 16, 2022•50 min
I spend most of my time on the podcast telling you what to do to be happy in all your relationships (which I love because I’m a bossy Jewish mother). But today, I’m flipping things around and sharing the top 7 habits that are sabotaging your relationship. So stay tuned to hear the 7 toxic habits you need to stop if you want to have connected, happy and thriving relationships (oh look, I still get to be a bossy Jewish mother)! Full shownotes: https://abbymedcalf.com/7-habits-that-are-sabotaging-y...
Feb 14, 2022•44 min•Season 4Ep. 179
Do you have someone in your life who gets defensive and just won’t listen no matter how carefully you approach them? Have you tried all the tools and nothing seems to work? Then you’re in the right place because today I’m going to teach you the research-backed secret to approaching people so they’ll stop being defensive and finally listen to all the wonderful things you’ve got to say! Full shownotes: https://abbymedcalf.com/how-to-deal-with-a-defensive-person-who-wont-listen/ Grab my FREE Collab...
Feb 10, 2022•40 min•Season 4Ep. 178
Imagine taking a test where you get no credit for the right answers, but you get punished for every single one you got wrong. That’s perfectionism. You brush over any successes while beating yourself up for every mistake. Perfectionism is a mean mother f-er. It’ll steal your joy, your relationships and your self-worth. But we’re about to change that because today I’m going to teach you about the 2 types of perfectionism (one is healthy!). Here are my 3 tools to stop being a perfectionist so you ...
Jan 31, 2022•47 min•Season 4Ep. 177
You know about “the argument.” It’s that same fight that comes up over and over again with your partner, mother or brother. Any long-term relationship you’ve had likely has “the argument.” Maybe you’ve asked your mother over and over not to comment on what you’re eating or your weight. Maybe you’ve asked your partner 100 times to put away their dirty dishes instead of leaving them on the counter: “You know it drives me crazy when you do that!” Maybe you find yourself clashing with your sister wh...
Jan 24, 2022•53 min•Season 4Ep. 176
What do you do if your kids don’t like your new partner or if your partner’s kids don’t like you? Today I’m coming at you with the 3 big mistakes you’re making when your kids don’t like your new relationship and the one thing you can do to have effective conversations with your kids or theirs so you can start living in love and peace. Full shownotes: https://abbymedcalf.com/3-big-mistakes-youre-making-when-your-kids-dont-like-your-new-relationship-and-one-thing-to-turn-it-around/ Grab my FREE li...
Jan 17, 2022•45 min•Season 4Ep. 175
We all have self-doubt now and then but chronic insecurity is a destructive pattern that’ll sabotage your relationships with everyone from your partner, to friends, coworkers and yourself. Most the tips and tools I see about insecurity don’t work because they’re thinking about your insecurity all wrong. You say things like, “I’m insecure” but being insecure isn’t a personality trait, it’s a habit of thought. And any habit can be changed with some intention and attention. With this different appr...
Jan 11, 2022•58 min•Season 4Ep. 174
We’ve all been there: you said or did something and suddenly your cheeks are burning and you have to fight the urge to run and hide under the covers. You feel like all eyes are on you and that you’re being harshly judged. You feel embarrassed, awkward and maybe even ashamed. Being self-conscious sucks not just because you feel those feelings, but because it limits your ability to feel happiness or contentment in your moments, it stops you from fully expressing yourself and it damages your relati...
Jan 04, 2022•40 min•Season 4Ep. 173
What do you do when you and your partner have mismatched sex drives? When you want more sex than your partner (or less sex than your partner), you end up with hurt feelings. The person who wants more sex often feels rejected and angry while the person who wants less sex often feels pressured and resentful. What you’ve been doing hasn’t been working or you wouldn’t be here right now! What you need is a new perspective and a new approach, so here are my top five tips to create the intimacy you’ve ...
Dec 14, 2021•58 min•Season 4Ep. 172
What do you do when you're ready to move in together but your partner isn't? Today I'm putting on my Ask Dr. Abby hat and answering a question from you! Stay tuned! Full shownotes: https://abbymedcalf.com/171-ask-dr-abby-what-to-do-if-your-partner-wont-move-in-together/ _________________________________ Subscribe today to get my weekly thoughts, best practices and funny stories (you won’t believe my life!). This weekly reminder will keep you on the path to creating connected, happy relationships...
Dec 07, 2021•20 min•Season 4Ep. 171
