Hey, hey, hey, bad with something for you? You, you, you, and you to think about how do you survive in abusive relationship? The best way to survive is.
By never getting anyone.
Never getting involved with an abusive person. If by chance, you get in a relationship with someone and you realize that this person has abusive tendencies and you don't run.
It falls on you. I want you to think about that.
There are always signs and red flags, always, always, always, always, And when you ignore those signs in red flags, when you ignore your intuitions, it leads to problems. It leads to major issues in your life. Many people are so desperate for love that they overlook things that they should see when seeking love. The things that you see with your eyes, the things you can touch and feel.
Those things are superficial things.
So when I say superficial, I mean they hold no substance when it comes to building a solid foundation for a relationship to work. I talk about all of this in my new upcoming book should be out here very shortly, and I will come back and tell you about it. But you have to be able to accept the truth for what it is. Stop looking at things based on what you want them to be and accept things for what they truly are. Many people, millions could avoid bad situations if they would only.
See and accept the truth for what it is.
Every single relationship that you get in, it's by choice. Every individual you open the door to in your life is by choice. I don't think anybody is going around with a gun or a knife forcing you to be in a relationship with them. Now, once you get in one, I won't say it's not happening because people are doing some extreme stuff, But to get in a relationship, I don't think that's happening. So every relationship, every individual that enters your life, you are the one who opened the door.
I mean that's anybody, your coworkers, whomever, your bosses, whomever you open the door to.
In your life. You did it because I want you to think of it like this.
You can go to work every day and be cordial with your work people, but you don't have to have a relationship with them. You don't have to develop a friendship with them.
You just go to work, do your job, be cordial.
You know, sometimes that may even mean going out to functions or whatever. You're just being a part of the team. But you don't have to develop a relationship outside of that. So whoever you open yourself up to, it falls on you. People open the doors to different things and people in their lives depending on the mindset that they have and depending on what they're seeking.
You get in a relationship with.
Someone, I don't know how many times I've told you, and I will never stop telling you until I'm no longer on this platform and I'm in my grave. You are the person who is responsible for who and what you're allowing to your life. You are the responsible party. If you get in a relationship with someone and that person shows you in any kind of way, any kind of way at all, that they have abusive tendencies, and you stay because you think, oh, they love me so much,
that falls on you. Many many people are in relationships where they're afraid to go.
They're afraid to stay.
Now, that's horrible, but many people are in this situation right now.
And I've said it many times.
If you are afraid to stay, if you are afraid to go, you have stayed far too long. The only way to avoid abusive relationships is avoiding abusive people, never getting in those relationships. You have to be able to see past your heart, that unhealed heart, because a person of a healed heart is not standing for that. They're not going to get in a relationship with someone who's abusive. There are some people who start out abusive, but there are people which are most people who do it in
subtle ways. It's start off with disrespect, them talking to you file or them doing foul things you in subtle ways, but.
They are enough.
That you should know better. You should know that person isn't any good for you. People are slick, like Greece. They are slick. So if you're not in the mindset to be able to see the things that they're doing, you'll miss all the signs of red flags.
They're there. I mean they're always there.
Signs of red flags are always present in every single situation. Do you have the eyes, the heart and the mind to see it and accept it for what it is?
Because they are always present.
When a person have an attitude, are they quickly catching attitude? They are disrespectful, They try to control you. They seem obsessive or possessive, or most times it's both obsessive possessive controlling in any way, you have to.
Be very very careful.
If you keep going forward in a relationship and you see any sign or red flag of any of it, and you continue with that relationship, it falls on you. People treat you how you allow them to treat you. Let me give you some examples so you fully understand what I'm trying to convey here. If you're in a relationship with someone male or female, and that person is telling you where you can and can't go, you shouldn't go over there, you shouldn't be with this person, You
shouldn't do this, you shouldn't do that. You better watch out because if you agree, if you go alone, if you let that happen, more is coming.
More is coming.
If you're with someone and you try to talk to that person and they quickly go off they have an attitude, and you oh, okay, it's okay, it's okay, we'll talk about it later, we don't have to talk about it, or whatever the situation may be, you are showing them how they can treat you. You are letting them know that they can get angry and you will be quiet.
So that's the ploy that they will enhance in the relationship. If you're in communication with.
Someone and they're saying mean, hurtful things to you, and you just love them so much that you overlook it. You've overlooked who they really are, and it will come back to hunt you.
It will come back to bite you.
If you're in a relationship with someone and you started off buying them this, buying them that, trying to make them happy, thinking it's going to make them love you.
You messed up.
Because soon as you don't do it, you're gonna see the monster that you created.
When people disrespect you.
In any way and you let it slide, Believe me, more is coming, because disrespect leads to or can lead to, abusive behaviors. When a person is angry all the time, what you think is gonna happen eventually? What do you think is going to happen?
A lot of problems that people face.
Is because they want so desperately to be with that individual that they tend to overlook everything that's staring them right in the face. You have the signs, you have the red flag. You got your intuition telling you things. People sometimes tell you things, but no, no, no, no, everything is a lie. You can't believe it. You can't believe what you see you can't believe what you've heard, you can't believe what people tell you. You want to just
be with that person. Then you're with that person and you find out everything is the truth. Now you're in the relationship and you're afraid to leave. An abusive person knows exactly the state of mind you're in. They are far worse off mentally than you, but they know the state of mind you're in because you show your vulnerability. You've shown them and they've used it against you. Abusive people are controlling, they're obsessive and possessive, and they will
take advantage of you. They will take advantage of your weakness. You have empowered them and made them appear as strong as you have become more weak, more vulnerable. So when you let things go on and on, you're giving them more power, more power, more power.
That's why it is detrimental, crucial to be aware of the people you open yourselves up to, because.
Sometimes when you open yourself up to and you allow an abusive person in your life, you.
May not get rid of them. You may go to your grave.
Because of them, either they killed you or you killed yourself. Because some people are in such bad situations, such volatility, toxic situations that they would rather kill themselves than to remain in those situations.
It is horrible. It is absolutely horrible.
When you always can leave, I don't care what they say, I don't care what they do. You can always leave, even if it means leaving the entire country. You can leave, do what's necessary to protect yourself.
And I'm telling you this from experience.
If you've listened to some of my episodes I talk about it, I physically ran away from a whole country when I was there living there because of the military, ran away from the whole country because I left that person right over there. He's an American citizen like me, but we were over there because of the military, and I left him right on over.
There and never looked back. Never.
And yes, I did see the signs, but I was very very very young, in my late teens, very young.
But I got smart and real quick. I saw the signs.
I saw the anger, I saw the temper, but it wasn't that directed at me, so I thought.
I was safe.
But anytime someone is that way, it eventually will be directed towards you.
It will be directed towards any children you have. It will be.
Directed towards other people in your life that comes around because that's who that individual is.
I should have ran and never looked back.
But you live and you learn. But when I felt like this is really really out of control.
I ran. Never look back. Don't be like me. Don't even let it get that far.
Run at the first time, because I promise you it will only get worse. You start off seeing it in other people, them doing it to other people, then eventually it comes to you. Sometimes people do it to you right out. You see it right away, you are the butt of it right away. And sometimes people, oh, he didn't mean it, she didn't mean it, she just was mad, or she's going through things because of childhood issues.
No, you can't fix same or change anyone. You will feel.
The consequences guaranteed. So the best way to avoid or get out of an abusive relationship or an avoid one is never to get.
Into one, because.
No one is ever, ever, ever, ever ever going to treat you any way other than the way you've taught them. If you show that you're afraid, that empowers them. If you let them call you out your name, that empowers them. If you let them hit on you. That empowers them. If you let them spit on you, that empowers them. If you let them push you around, that empowers them. If you let them be obsessive and possessive over you, that empowers them. If you let them isolate you from
your friends and family, that empowers you. If you let them tell you where you can and can't go, who you can and can't be, with, what you can and can't where, that empowers them.
And the list goes on.
You empower them to make them strong as you are weakened.
So again, the way to avoid it is.
By never getting into the relationship in the first place. You have to love yourself enough to be able to walk away, and that's the problem for most people.
Most people don't love themselves.
They're seeking love desperately, and they don't love themselves. Therefore, they will allow these things because they think the man or the woman is going to change, they are going to be better. They think that they can love the hell out of people. They think that they can make a person change by loving them so much or by giving to them. People think that they can fix and save and change other people. You can love them out
of their addictions. Only to find yourself lost. You've lost your sl elf in these toxic relationships, in these loveless relationships, you've lost yourself. Some of you hate yourselves even more than before you started the relationship.
You hate yourself for being in that.
Relationship, but you don't have to strength or the courage to leave. It's awful, devastating, and now you are an individual full of fear, anxiety, depression, all kinds of things because of the stress and the hell you're going through when you should have walked away long ago. Many men and many women are in their grains because of their relationships, because of the people that they were with. Men doing far more than women, but women do it as well.
You always, always.
Always teach an individual how they can treat you. You always are the one who empowered them. When you empower them, it gives them power to have control over you.
That's what happens.
And never ever ever think you're trapped because you're trapped in your mind.
You're not trapped.
The only way you're trapped is if they have you locked up and chained physically, and believe me, that does happen.
But you should never let it get that far.
See a lot of problem is people don't want to tell because they are embarrassed, they're ashamed, they're afraid, so they don't want to tell. They're afraid of what the person would do to them. They're afraid of what the person would do to the people they love and care about. It's horrific at that point. So a lot of times people don't tell. I know, I didn't tell. I didn't tell until I got out. The day that I left is the day I told someone, and that is the
person who helped me leave. And I didn't tell because I was embarrassed. I was ashamed. People thought this this guy was all of this, you know, all of the listen to means, this is all of the things.
You know, the old saying.
A person you think they are a bag of chips and some That's what people thought of him.
Because of the games that this person played.
People thought he was all of that. He was a stellar soldier. So I didn't tell for many reasons. But that was the mindset of an immature young lady, because that's what I was very immature at that time. So I endured it by myself. I went through it alone. But I got the heck up out of there, thank God, because I could have been in my grave, or I could have been in a situation where I had to defend myself and spend life in prison.
It's not worth it. It is not love.
A person being obsessive and controlling and possessive.
Is not love, no way, no how. It is not love.
A person disrespecting you, calling you out of your name, being abusive emotionally, verbally, physically, mentally, it is not love. That person has issues, unresolved issues, and you have issues for allowing it. I'll be the first one to raise my hand. I had issues. I wanted to be away from home. I wanted a better environment, a better life. And now that I'm grown and much more wiser and
mature and knowledgeable, I had the best childhood ever. We wasn't rich with money, but my god, we were so rich with love and wisdom and knowledge about self love and not letting people. I mean, we were taken care of. But you know, when you were a child, you're thinking, oh, I just wanted to get away from home. Parents too strict, not knowing they're doing the best for you. There are many factors to a person who is immature age, life, multitude of things unhealed hearts and minds because of past
hurt and pain. It doesn't matter how you got the mindset that you have. What matters is you change it to become the best you that you can be for yourself, and in that you will know that you can't change anybody else. It's not your responsibility to try to change, fix, or save someone. But when you're broken, when you have an heart and mind, you desperately try to fix, save, and change that person you're with because you want to
be with him or her. When love is nowhere in the equation, you just think it is because of your version of what you think is love. Many people have lost their lives thinking it was love. I often think of a couple, two couples in particular, and I didn't know either one of them, and I saw both incidents on social media.
One was when a guy.
Found out his girl had been talking to someone and he saw it on her phone. He beat the crap, He beat the.
Crap out of that lady like she was a man. He beat her with.
Candles, those big fat candles, the glass that's in.
The He threw them at her, and I mean, it was horrible.
And when it was all said and done, she eventually went back to him. I don't know anything else about it, but I do remember that. And then not so long ago last year, matter of fact, several months ago, the couple in Atlanta on social media just toxic, always cussing each other.
And telling each other's business.
That's toxicity that is not healthy for them, children, or anyone. And they were going at it live on social media and he ended up killing her. I mean, this has happened so much. You have to have courage to get out of abusive relationships. Seek help from people who's not gonna tell your business. Because sometimes you go to people and tell, they end up telling someone and.
It gets back to your significant other and it makes things.
Worse for you. So you have to move in silence. But you gotta get out of toxic, unhealthy, abusive relationships before it's too late, and you can't because you're in your grave. I'm not trying to scare anyone. I'm just telling you fact. And the way to avoid all of this is by never getting into it in the first place. Leave at the first sign.
Of abuse.
Don't let people know where you live right away, don't let them know where you work right away.
Don't do any of that when you're getting to know someone.
Watch for the signs and red flags, the cues your intuition. You got to see past your once, your desires, your heart because the signs and red flags are always there.
And that's it. That's all I'm saying. I'm leaving it there.
Listen, please, please, please please share this episode.
Thank you for listening. Much love Mom to each and every one of you.
I in all episodes the same, and I pray, in the name.
Of Jesus did you do it? Faith on it.