Episode 613 You Chose Them You're a Problem for Yourself

Hey, hey, hey, I'm back with something for you to think about.

Listen. I had to get on here and do this.

Episode because you've heard me talk about how people are putting out bad information, in my opinion, bad information.

And I am not sitting here saying I know everything.

But I know people pretty well. I've learned people pretty well. I've studied people. I've observed people for most of my life, even before professionally. But I want to talk about something that I heard, and it came from a person who was a license something and I just disagree with what this person said. I just totally disagree with it.

Somebody asked this person on a live.

TV broadcast, why do I keep picking the same type of people? And the first thing the woman said was, I won't say that it's because of you.

I'm not saying I won't say that you're not the problem. Well I will.

I will both definitely say that you are the problem. Not sarcastic and you know, trying to be sarcastic, doing it in a sarcastic way, or belittling or poking, you know, poking the phone, none of that.

I'm just being honest with you. Yes, you are the problem.

The other person may be a part of the problem, but you are your own problem. So far a so called professional person to say, I don't want to say you're the problem. I don't want to say that, then she don't need to say anything at all, because you are the problem.

If you keep picking the same types of people, you are the problem.

Like I said, they may be a part of your problem as far as your problematic, problematic situation.

But you are the one who's responsible and accountable for your life, not the other person.

Because other people are gonna bring into your life what you set yourself up for, what you open yourself up to, and they're gonna treat you how you have taught them that they can treat you.

Poor blank.

I know. People try you. They try you to see how far they can go with you. They try to see how you know what you.

Will or what you wan't allow. People gonna try you.

But still yet, it is your responsibility, team yours, no one else's as to what you allow someone to do to you.

It's your responsibility.

You're accountable for your life.

So yes, you are the problem.

Your mindset is your very worst enemy.

I'm just really a part that a so called.

Professional saying I won't say that you're the problem. See, it goes to show you that societies all around the world are so caught up on credentials and license and all of those things because they think it makes a person so much more knowledgeable.

No, people are knowledgeable in that area.

It does not mean they know everything about everything because they don't.

I don't know one does. And people.

Put so much credibility behind credentials. People pay for credentials, people pay for other people to do their work.

I mean people can become certified in all of that many different ways.

It does not mean that a person really knows the subject that they study. Many people buy degrees on mind. Many people let someone else do that work. I know it for a fact, an absolute, one hundred percent fact. But society is so caught up in credentials when they want to be when they want to be because we know it's all the farce.

It's all the farce from the top, hint hints down, it's all a farce. So you are the problem.

People will come into your life.

I don't care who they are. It could be your friend's family, it.

Could be your own children, it could be your parents, your significant others.

I don't care who it is.

They will treat you how you have allowed They will treat you how you have taught them to treat you. And if it's any way other than treating you, well, you created that monster because you allowed it. You keep picking the same people because you have not chosen to change. Simple as that, you have not chosen to change, and therefore you pick similar people and you go through similar things because you have not allowed healing to take place in your life.

As simple as that.

Most people in the world that you run across or you meet, they think they have it together.

They think they're okay.

They don't know their word, they don't love themselves, but they think they're okay. If you don't know yourself, if you don't love yourself, you don't.

Even know what's good for you.

You don't even know what you need because you're just seeking and chasing and reaching, trying to find this and that to fill the void inside of you.

But it never wants it never works out.

Because people get everything other than what they are seeking or what they actually need. They get everything other than that because what happens is you become entangled with similar people, meaning people with the same mindset that you have. But the difference is when there are two people who both are broken people, they don't.

Recognize the brokenness. He don't recognize recognize it in her.

She don't recognize it in him because they think what they have is love. You can talk to them until you pass out.

You will not change their minds.

They have to go through something devastating, something that is so triggering it causes them to want to change.

That's the only way it's gonna happen.

People point the finger because they constantly get into these relationships that fail, constantly repeating the same cycles, and then they point the finger at the people they were in the relationships with and they blame them. They have everything in the world to say about those individuals they were in relationships with when they failed to look at the many fingers pointing back itself. I've told you before, we have more pointing back at ourselves. For a reason, God

The effects of it. But you can't see it.

We can see how it causes you issues in your life, but we can't see the actual dysfunction because cause it comes from within, we just see the behaviors, the actions.

You have to do that inside work. That's why you have more famish pointing back at yourself. So again I will say, yes, you are the problem.

You're the reason you keep picking the same type of people. You're the reason. You are the reason. You're the reason, flat I mean, flat out, point blank the end, you're the reason. Nobody else is picking them for you. You're picking them for yourself because you have not allowed healing in your life. Therefore you have no mental maturity. You have gotten older, you have gone through things, you have accomplished things,

Many people get old, but they don't mature mentally.

Therefore you see things the same way. Bad still looks good to you because you're looking through eyes that are wide shut. They're open, but you don't see anything because you're blind to the things that you want, your desires, your feelings.

You're blind to those things. So you can't see reality as it truly is. You see what you want it to be. So although that individual have all.

Of these flaws, all of this negativity, you can't see it.

Because you're moving on what you want, how you feel, what you desire.

And most times this is the real kicker, this is the real serious part that people don't understand. You get in a relationship based on how you feel. What I mean is you get in a relationship with someone and you move according to how you're feeling. That's why people who have like minds, they give you bits of nuggets and nibblets, just enough to keep you in a relationship.

And what that does is it make you.

Feel good for a moment and then you think everything is good until it's not again. So you are feeling these things, you're feeling these emotions.

You're doing everything.

You're trying to please and a peace, and no matter what you do, you're still struggling, you still hurt, you're still.

Drained, you're still going through all.

Of the same things you've always went through because you have not changed. There has been no improvement in your mental cognition, no change. So when there's no change, you're gonna do similar things or the same things with different people.

Some of you.

Even go back to the same person, thinking it's gonna be better than the second time around, when most times it's not, because not only you.

Haven't changed, that other person haven't changed.

They haven't changed either, but you still want them, You still behind and over them, and you see things the same way they say, Oh I've changed, and you want to believe them so much you let them back into your life. And if that's not the case, your particular case, but I know it's the case for many. You end up with someone else similar characteristics.

Treat you the same similar way.

You go through the same, similar situations because you are attracted to that negativity, even though you feel you don't want it.

That's what you attract.

And people will always do this until they choose change. You must allow healing inside us, deal with that inner man, that inner woman.

You must heal. Let all of the jump go.

Learn to love and know yourself, because you gotta love and know yourself first before you can understand what love is or what it is, and before you even know how to truly get to know that other person. When you're going off of your feelings, you want your desires. You're blind to everything else. You cannot see what you need to see.

Because you're living by that superficial stuff.

That means nothing when it comes to building a strong, loving, lasting, healthy relationship. Look, money, titles, possessions, none of that.

None of it. It's going to help you.

Build a strong love and lasting, healthy relationship, None of it.

It's superficial.

But when you have not mentally matured, you do not understand anything I'm saying.

It makes no sense to you, But I challenge you, look at your life. Are you on the wheel?

You know?

You just go on in the circles.

We live in the same similar things. It's not his fault, it's not her fault. It's your fault that you gravitate towards those types of people. You have to look at yourself. Why am I shoes in the same type of people. It's because your mindset haven't changed. You have not became better mentally. You have not matured mentally, but most people think they are. You cannot tell most people that they

How can you think you're okay when you continue to go through the same things, You continue to be treated bad, you continue to be used and abused, you continue to be taken advantage of. How can you be okay?

There's no way you can be, in no way in man, that inner woman needs healing.

And the only way you can get to that.

Point, that point of healing is by accepting that it needs to take place and then working on it. Because everyone, whether they understand it or not, or believe it or not, everyone knows why.

They have the mindsets that they have.

Because you know better than me, you know better than anyone else what you've gone through, all of that negativity you went through as a child or as an adult. Because everything may come from childhood. Some people just got off on the wrong path for whatever reason as they became adults, so.

You can't blame everything on childhood.

But the point I'm trying to make is wherever that negativity came from. You have to allow healing and to let it go because you're not in it anymore. It's the memories of it that people allowed to hold them back, that people allowed to cause them to.

Be dysfunctional in the present moment.

Some of you are still hurting, still carrying old pains from many, many, many years ago.

Like I've said several times, some of the people who hurt you are dead and gone, and.

You're still angry, you're still mad, you're still allowing it to make you believe you're not worthy and those people dead and gone.

Problem.

What people fail to understand that it's very serious, is the mindset that you have came from, or was formed from your negative experiences and the people that's been in your life, in your social circle, your environments.

All that formed the mind that you have now now.

But as an adult, it's your responsibility to choose better.

But most people don't. They stay on the same negative paths.

And when you stay on the same negative path, you're gonna get the same negative results, are similar results.

That's just the way it is.

No one on the face of the earth, and I mean no one on the face of the earth can be a better person by.

Remain in the same It's not going to happen. It's not going to happen.

So yes, yes, yes, yes, you are the problem because you're the one who pick and choose who you want to be with.

You're the one who.

Picks the decision as an adult, you're the one. They're not laid Get over here, you're gonna be in a relationship with me. No, you choose them because you see them. They look good to you, they're pretty to you. Oh you think they have money or they have money.

You love you know what you see you.

You you're you're admiring their tied on their position, and you just want to be close to that.

Whatever drew you in. It's super superficial.

It's superficial, and most people only realize when they're in such bad situations that good look, the money, the titles, the positions, the notoriety, none of it matters if none of it helps the relationship.

So if you want things to be different, you have to choose differently. I mean, I've been there myself.

Hey, at one point in my life, when I was much younger, I settled.

But I tell you what. I will never settle again, ever, ever, ever, ever. I know my work.

I am a gym hands down all around, and I will not settle.

I would never require or.

Look for something and someone that I don't possessing myself to me, that is just completely I mean, it's not a rational way to think, but most people think that way. Oh I want him to have this and have that when you have nothing, it don't make sense. People supposed to enhance your life, the people you choose to be were supposed to enhance your life.

But you're supposed to enhance theirs too. So many people have nothing to bring to.

The table, but they want everything from the table, irrational thoughts.

Be cool or what you're looking for now?

Like I said, plenty of times, sometimes it may mean yourself because people are in intimidated. They're intimidated by people who they see, who they see and think are strong individuals. They're intimidated by that. That's not your problem. You don't want anybody like that anyways. So in your times of being by yourself, those are the greatest times for you to become the best you possible, strong, knowing your word, loving yourself. But unfortunately, many people don't have that patience.

And cars you have. They don't care if you don't have a house or car. They don't care if you're in the highest position in the world. They don't care.

Broken brokenness does not care, and it does not discriminate.

Anyone with eyes I mean.

Figuratively speaking, realize they can see un need I say more, need I say more. It's all around us, at our jobs, at.

Church, in the clubs, I mean all types.

Of clubs, like party clubs, clubs that people are a part of, in societies, I mean, in every aspect.

Of life, brokenness, brokenness, brokenness.

And that's why we see all of these run and a monk that we see amongst people, all of the division, all of the hatred. People are broken, but they don't understand their brokenness and they will never ever ever be better because they're looking to other people who are broken.

Just like them. So you are the problem.

I will stand and say it to your face if I had to. You are the problem. If you are going through those things, keep picking the same type of men or picking the same type of women.

You're the problem.

You're the one picking them.

And if anyone is.

Out there that want to talk about it, reach out to me my podcast page Think on It by.

Cherry gives you mind email. I always respond. Now.

I do get some weird emails sometimes, and I'm not sure a lot of people be asking me about being.

On you know, some.

Episodes with me, but I don't know these people, and I'm not sure if it's real or not.

You know, people are so scamming these days. But I will respond to.

You if you reach out with a question or you just want to talk, or like I said, I always offer prayer to people. If you need prayer, I'm more than willing to do that too. So thank you for listening. I'm leaving it right there. Please share this episode. Much love Newing to each and every one of you all around the world. I love you so much. I end every episode the same, and I hope.

You do it. Thame Pardon