Episode 605 Messing Up Your Relationship From the Start

Hey, hey, hey, I'm bad with something for you.

To think about. You know what I've learned when it comes to relationships, it's two things I've learned that I know for.

Sure it's true. One there are me let me say that, but it's two for sure.

One people get into relationships.

Carrying feelings from a relationship they had with someone else. And two, most people who get into relationships.

Don't love themselves. Both are major major no knows.

That causes huge issues in relationships.

Both not loving yourself.

I've talked about it many times, but not loving yourself affects you in every.

Fashion of your life.

Why because when you don't love yourself, you're so.

Eager to be loved. You want it so desperately.

But most people who get what they perceive is love, it's not love at all. But they find out the hard way when you don't love yourself.

It's hard for you to see.

The games people play, the lies people are telling, the manipulation. It's hard for you to see those things that you need to see. It's hard, but most people just cannot see the signs and red flags because they're so caught up on what they want, what they feel, what their eyes see what they desire their hearts.

They're so caught up that they cannot.

See what's right before them. They cannot see you, that person is showing them that they are. They can't see anything because they're blind by what they want.

And because of it, many, many, many, many people right now as I speak, are.

In dead, in loveless, unhealthy, toxic, hostile, volatile relationships, living as companions or roommates. A lot of people are living in fear because they're afraid of the person that they want loved.

Loving yourself is.

Of the utmost importance, it really really is, and so many people are felling themselves because they've never gotten to that point in life. They've never been able to love themselves because of all of the stuff that they hold inside, the negative things.

You don't have to take my word for it. Just look at the news. I mean, all around.

The world, people are saying the most ridiculous things. I mean coming out of the mouths of professional people and non professional But you would think professional people who are of some type of status would know better. But brokenness does not discriminate, and many people are broken. Most are broken, they're not and that's why we see all of the chaos, all of the hearts that have waxed cold.

We see all of this. People are saying the most foolish things.

And they are doing the most foolish things because they don't love themselves. A person who love his or herself do not carry on like that. They don't because they love themselves and they love others. People that don't love themselves, they cannot possibly love others. I don't care if they are children, boyfriend, girls, friend, husband, wise friends.

They don't love themselves.

Just because you have all of those things does not mean you love yourself. And it shows in the way people behave. Now, this is the tricky part. Sometimes people are such manipulators. They don't behave in a way that looks appropriate, but they're not appropriate people, meaning they are not people of character, of the integrity of morals and values.

And all you have to do is watch.

Them what they say and what they do. And unfortunately, a lot of people, and many of you listening right now, you're in relationship with these people. You're in relationships with them, and you're miserable because you see them acting crazy. You see how they're carrying on, how they're behaving it's embarrassing.

To you, It really is.

So many people are in undy healthy relationships completely.

And then those.

Who to get into relationships with people carrying torches of individuals that they were in relationships before.

That is wrong.

That is wrong on every level. You're gonna always be thinking could have, would have, should have. You're gonna always have that in the back of your mind because you're still carrying flames for.

That person that you should have been over.

It's not fair to the person you're with, and it's not fair to yourself if you're not over someone completely over them. Don't get in a relationship with anyone else because what you do, whether conscious or subconscious, you compare.

Them, You compare them.

Some of you do it outright, you compare them, well, blah bah blah blah, was this way and did that and all of this and that when you should never do that. And all it takes is, i mean, just the slightest breathe and you'll be ready to run back over there. All it takes is the slightest thing that you're new sicknificant other can do or say, and you're ready to fall right back over.

To that other person.

Some of you are in relationships with new people and you're fooling around with.

The old person. That is wrong. It is wrong.

No one should ever carry flames for someone that they was previously with into a new relationship.

Now, listen, I'm not.

Not eve and I'm far from them. I understand when you have had a relationship with someone, you got memories and you have thoughts and things you know, sometimes you reminience in your head. You don't even be meaning to, but the thoughts will come sometimes entertaining those thoughts. It's not what you should be doing.

It's not.

Everyone should be satisfied with the person they chose to be with.

If you are not, that's on you. Bable that's on.

You because you should have never moved forward if you're still looking behind. That's in your relationship and in your life in general. You should have never ever moved forward if you're still looking behind, But unfortunately.

Many people do. Many people have.

A lot of your significant others are unhappy because they know you still have feelings for that last person, or it could be a person from years before, like years and years and years before, but they know you still have feelings for that person because of the things you said and.

Stuff like that. You're wrong, you're.

Flat out rome and a significant other, a new significant other have every right.

To feel some kind of way, every.

Right because you're wrong.

So many people mess up their relationships because they carry feelings into those new relationships from the last person. Many people get into relationships they have children with other people, and they know they still have feelings for that mother or that father, but they get into relationships with new people.

Causing havo because the other person, that individual that they have a child with, almost controls them.

So it's like, what's the point, what's the point of being with me if that person over there still has such a hold on you. See, where people go wrong is, and I'm talking as a woman and as a mother, where people go wrong is they think, especially women, Oh, I have a child by him, you know, therefore he's gonna do what I say. I have a hold on him forever because I have a child with him.

No lies lies. That man.

Must be a mature adult who have no problems with putting their X in his or her place. Well, let me rephrase that in her place. I said his or her place, but I'm meaning whether it's a male or female putting their ex.

In their place.

Because the man I'm speaking man with the woman putting her in her place, he should have no problem if he's gotten into a new relationship or if she's gotten into a new relationship, you should have no issues making that X stay in their lane. If you can't, you shouldn't be in a new relationship with anyone because all it does is cause friction, It causes problems if you know you still have feelings for someone.

And I'm not speaking like.

You care for the person, because that's just natural because we care for people. We all should care for people whether you was in a relationship with them or not. But the care is different from being in love with them or loving them in that way. So let's not miscunscrew anything here. But if you know you're feeling intimate ways for your ex, then you know you're wrong and you shouldn't be in a relationship with anyone else.

But people are doing these things.

They're getting in relationships with people when they don't love themselves, and then you get in relationship with someone who don't love his or herself and it's just a mess.

But this is what people keep.

Doing, just ruining their relationships that potentially could have been very good relationships. So many people in this world are in unhappy, unhealthy relationships.

And that's just fact, just unhealthy, rolling over night after night looking into the face of someone they don't even want.

To be with.

That is horrible.

But this is what people are settling with because of who they are, Not the other person, but you.

I'm talking about who you are. You're settling because of who you.

Are, what's inside of you that's causing you to settle. Most people are in unhappy relationships, and that is so sad to me. I would much rather be alone than to be with someone and yearning for love.

But that's the case for most people. I have talked to.

Many hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of people and couples miserable. They totally different, not on the same level, just unequally yoked and unhappy within themselves and in their relationships. There's no way you're going to be happy in your relationship when you're unhappy within yourself.

People have it all wrong. You're seeking all of these different.

Things in other people when you yourself don't possess them. You're seeking love and happiness and all of these things, securities in other people when you don't possess them in yourself, only to be more miserable now than you were before. That's why people move on in life. They move from relationship to relationship carrying the same baggage. They're moving on,

Dragging them down and keeping them stabbing it.

This is what people are doing to themselves, or have done to themselves.

They get married, divorced.

A few months later, not even a year later, marrying someone else, just repeating cycles.

Until you learn to love yourself, know who you are.

You'll never be truly happy in a relationship because you cannot be happy until you know how to love yourself.

And I've told you in many episodes.

If it's your first time here, go and listen to them. Learning to love yourself is a process. It takes forgiveness, loving yourself.

Well, let me go back.

It takes forgiveness, letting go, loving yourself, knowing who you are, learning from all your experiences, good and bad, learning from them because when you learn from your experiences, you grow, and then you can get to that level of mental money maturity. Most people are not there. Most people will never get there. People think because people are rich, they have all of these things, they have titles and all

Person who becomes in power by broken people.

Because a person who loves his or herself is not giving their power to no one.

They're not They know better, but the majority don't because of the mindset they have. And it's the.

Very same reason people get into bad relationships with the wrong people for the wrong reasons. You always hear people say, well, you don't ever truly know a person. What I believe is you can know a person well enough to know whether they're good or bad, someone that you should or shouldn't be with. But the problem is people don't even try. They're too busy word about self that all they want to do is please and a pease. They're not trying to find out the things that.

They need to know.

They're just trying to please in a peace because of what they want. And because of that, a lot of people never get to know who they are with because they never ask the right questions. They're afraid to ask the right questions. They're embarrassed to ask the right questions.

And two people are just not on that level.

They get into relationships, but they're not communicating on that level.

Relationships are not hard.

People in the relationships make the relationships part. And it all goes back to the mindset people have.

Who you you are.

As a person, the real you, the real person that you are, that person that's hidden inside for most people. Because individuals who love him or herself.

What you see is what you get, like it or not.

And I will tell you that people who love themselves are loving people. They're not trying to cause issues. They may not play with anyone. They're not gonna take your crap, but they don't cause any problems. They love everyone, but they see you. They're not gonna entertain foolishness. They're not going to involve themselves with people who they know are doing wrong or who are wrong for them.

Most people haven't got there.

Everything is about your mindset and about you knowing yourself and loving yourself, for which most people don't.

And I just want you to think about what I've said. Just look at your life. Be honest with yourself.

If you cannot be honest with yourself, you know you can't be honest with anyone. Be honest with yourself. Where are you right now in your life? Are you faking and pretending to be okay.

When you know you're not.

You will never get anywhere, see, because with that mindset, you can't take anything.

And it's just true.

You can't take it, and you will never ever make it to the level of mental maturity that you deserve to be at. And the only person who's holding you back is yourself. So if your life, it's up to you. As always, I just put the information out there. Oh my goodness, I would love to see the world full of people of better mindsets because what I'm seeing, I know God and Jesus shaking their heads because it's a hot mess. I know God says, I gave my only begotten son.

And we're right back into the same mess.

Because it's shameful, it's sad, it really is that people are not choosing to be better. We're way in twenty twenty five and people are worse off mentally than they were hundreds and hundreds of years ago because their mindsets have not changed. That's all I'm saying. I'm leaving it right there. What you open yourself up to is exactly what you're gonna get. And some thank you for listening

Think on it