Episode 537 Looking Outward for Love When You Should be Looking Inward

Hey, Hey, and bad with.

Something for you to think about. What I'm gonna say. Some people are gonna agree. Some people want but I know it's true, and I understand.

People who don't want to accept it. But I know it's truth.

Looking outward for love when you should be looking inward. That's what most people in the world are doing, looking outward for love. When I say outward, I mean you're looking up to other people for love when you should be looking inward. No one can make you happy. No one can give you what you need. As I said, what you need. No one can give you that joy, that peace. You're the only one who can do it for yourself. Outside of Jesus, outside of God, the Father,

I'm not saying that. But what I am saying is.

In order for happiness, happiness to be lasting, it has to come from you.

It has to come from a youth.

You're the only one because you have to have that inside of you. You have to have that happiness inside of you to have that happiness inside of you.

It gives you peace, It gives you that joy because see, when you have it for yourself, no one can take it from.

You, no one, no one can take it from you.

But see what most people do is most people in this world, it's a sad thing.

I mean it's sad. It is sad. Most people in this world.

Look for other individuals to make them happy. And when you do that, what happens is you give power.

To people.

You give power for them to hurt you. You give power for them to abuse you and to use you. You give power for them to do those things to you. You do.

And when you do that, you also give power for them to hurt you.

Only you have the control for that, only you. If you don't think you're worthy, guess what. The person you seeking love from is not gonna think you're worthy either.

It's gonna give him or her that advantage.

To use you and abuse you because they know you already think bless them yourself. They already know you'll do anything for love, so they'll take advantage of you. They'll use you, they'll abuse you because you have shown them how you're so eager for love so you teach.

Them exactly how.

To treat you. People look outward when they definitely need to look inward, because see, looking outward, what you do is you end up with people who are similar as you.

That's why so many people get into trauma bonding. You know, they get into.

Relationships where the other person is broken and they're broken. So people think, oh, because we have similar backgrounds, we've gone through similar trauma or whatever. They think it makes them closer, it makes them on an e Even playing that is so far from the truth. So far, all that does.

Is bring more drama and chaos into your life. When you're dealing with someone who.

Have their own unresolved issues, it only bring trauma into your life. Unfortunately, It's what a lot of people don't understand because they're seeking love. They're seeking that love, they're seeking that self gratification, they're seeking that validation, they're seeking that support, and all of those things they're seeking in their significant others. They want that instant happening. No, you

So it just weighs you down more and more and more.

And for many of you who don't love yourself in the first place, it just makes your life worse. Let me tell you how, I know many of you don't love yourself.

You're too busy worshiping other people.

You spend all your time on social media trying to look into the lives of what.

Other people doing. You give your last dime to people you don't know because of the status they hold.

You seeking love and all the wrong places, with all the wrong people, in.

All the wrong ways.

You open yourself up to people and things that are no good for you.

Need I go on, need I go on. And one of the things that hurting most people in today's world is.

You're looking at what society says how you should look, how you should eat, how you should dress, who you should love, I mean, how your skin tone should look.

I mean, you're looking at.

The opinion and views of other broken people, because that's what make up people. People who are broken, who are evil, wicked, full of of greed, full of self hate.

I mean so many negative things.

That's who you're listening to, That's who you're pattering your life after.

Makes no sense at all. It makes no sense. It really makes no sense.

But see, you can't see it because your eyes are wide shut. You're blind because what you're looking at is you want him, you want her. You don't care what they're doing to you because you can't see it. You can't see it. You may feel the negativity and somewhere in some form, but you really can accept it because your heart and mind is so focused on that individual, you cannot see what they're doing to you.

You don't accept it as bad.

You don't accept it as wrong, You don't accept it as negative because all you can see is being with that person, wanting that person, loving that person.

When it's not love.

You just have these feelings and these emotions surrounding that person.

But it's not love.

Any negativity someone brings into your life, it is not love. It's simply it's not love. People go through life believing that other individuals can give.

Them their heart's desire.

All I want is someone to love me All I want is to be loved. But you don't love yourself. Many of you think if you have children, it'll.

Make you better.

Sometimes people change because of their children, but most times they don't.

Most times they don't. So I will never say that it's a good.

Thing to have a child because you want someone to love.

And someone to love you. No, that's the wrong mindset to have. It is completely the wrong mindset to have. That's why we see these children doing so many terrible things because as parents are projecting their pains onto the lives of their children, are into the lives of their children.

Wanting someone to love.

You, wanting to be in a relationship. I'm not saying anything is wrong with that, But what I'm saying is love yourself first. Stop looking outward for love. When love starts with you loving yourself. It is a must. It is an absolute must. And I will tell you with all certainty that people who allow individuals in their lives to use and abuse them take them for granted.

And all those negative things. You don't love yourself.

I don't care what you think. You do not love yourself. You're looking for love the wrong way. Love starts with you loving yourself so you can understand love, so you know what loves look like.

Because people love.

To play games, They absolutely love playing games, making you think one way when things are really another.

You believe you're in a.

Relationship and they haven't thought about being in a relationship with you. But you think because of the things that have taken place in your interactions with that individual, you think that you're in a relationship, but to them, you're not in a relationship. That's why I say, hey, it's great to be in love, but don't be in love by yourself. And a lot of people are because most people are in one sided relationships, one sided marriages, and

From their own pains, people who have grew up mentally. That's what I'm talking about.

You must love yourself and grow mentally, mentally mature. You must in order to have a better life and to be of a better mindset.

You must, you must. But unfortunately, most people have not.

It's a very sad thing, but most people have not. Most people have not grown to that mature level. We are seeing a world full of adults who have carried years and years and years of pain that they should have let go of long ago. That's what This world is full of, a bunch of hurt people who are

Get with him and he's in the industry or he is a politician, or he is this or that, it's gonna benefit you.

No, that's what's wrong with people.

You shouldn't be trying to get someone else's security and someone else's stack or rack or whatever.

They call it these days. Money.

You should have your own if that way, you don't have to worry about people dangling things in your face to make you do what they want you to do, because you don't have your own love yourself, love yourself. When you love yourself, it alleviates the fears and the insecurities that you've had.

It changes you.

And you will never ever go through life letting people treat you any kind of way.

You never will. You never will again. It just won't. You will not.

But until people understand, they'll keep the same cycles going.

Because no growth have occurred, No growth have occurred.

People so busy, so busy looking out with for love when they need to look inward. The best relationship you can and being besides God, is with yourself. Knowing yourself, understanding who you are as a person.

That is the greatest thing.

You can do for yourself, becoming a better person, no longer being a prisoner of your own mindset, but leaving.

Those negative things people said to.

You, defining your life by the things you've gone through. Letting the men and women in your life treat you any kind of You'll do none of that, none of it. When you know who you are and you love yourself, you're gonna let go of all of that stuff you've been carrying.

You're gonna let it go.

You're gonna let it go because you're gonna know it don't mean that to you. It don't matter to you like you thought things mattered.

Your life changes.

But you can't get to that point always seeking love from someone else.

You gotta love yourself.

That means healing from what else.

You letting it go.

Okay, you went through what you went through, and I'm not trying to make it seem that you.

Didn't go through anything. You went through it.

But you should not allow it to destroy the rest of your life. You should not allow it.

To destroy your opportunities.

You should not allow it to define who you are the rest of your life. You are a disservice to yourself.

When you do that.

That's what people are going through life the same way, same mindset, no growth, full of negativity, don't believe that they deserve better, not trying to be better, getting with people who are treating them all kind of ways because they know they can.

You're looking in the wrong places for love.

It's starting to be you loving you, loving that man, that woman, that young person, that older person who is looking back at you in that mirror.

Some of you even avoid mirrors.

You avoid mirrors because you don't want to see that person staring back. That is very unhealthy, very unhealthy. You have to know and love yourself and forget what society is saying, because.

Remember that if you don't remember one thing, remember.

This society is full of broken people who don't have themselves together, who don't love themselves. That's why they telling you to bleach your skin. That's why they telling you to get bigger boobs. You need a bigger butt, you need a tiny waistline. You need to be this weight, you need to be that weight. I mean, it's just craziness. When you love yourself, you.

Don't care what they're saying.

You love who you see in that mirror. You have confidence, You believe in yourself. You don't care although you've gone through things, you.

Don't care that whatever it is, you don't care enough to allow.

It to sabotage the rest of your life.

You let it go.

When you love yourself and that man and that woman who's not treating you right, who's no good.

For you, you definitely will not entertain. You won't You will not entertain that.

You will not get with a person who do not enhance your life. If you with someone you're struggling and they're struggling, make it make sense?

How is that good for you? You can't rub two pennies together and they can't either.

And it's not all about that, because you have people who have plenty of money, but they're no good for each other because they're atticts, or one is an attic, and you're trying so desperately to save fixing and change him that you're destroying yourself. And these are people with lots of money. You're getting with individuals who have five and six baby mamas.

How is that gonna benefit you? I mean, you.

Gotta think about what you're doing and think about why you're doing it. Why do you think that person who obviously is no good for you is good for you? Make it make sense, as they say, because it does not. You have to think about what you're doing and what you're allowing in your life.

You have to think about the choices that you're making. You must.

A person who is no good for you is no good for you. You can't make them any good for you when they're no good for you. Stop looking for love there and people when you need to be searching your soul, your.

Own heart and mind.

You need to be making a change within yourself so you can love yourself and so your eyes can see what is.

Really before you.

You don't have time for the shenanigans of other people, people with their own problems, bringing them and projecting them into your life.

When you love yourself, you know you deserve better than that. You won't entertain that.

So I'm going to end this episode leaving it right there. Listen, Thank you for listening. Much love. I hope everyone is doing well. Please, No one can change your life but you. If you don't want to, that's on you too. If you want to, that's on you. But he or she they're not going to be able to give you the love you deserve when you don't love yourself, because you will allow and accept things that you shouldn't, you will teach them a very unhealthy.

Way to treat you. Because you're seeking, and you're desiring.

And you you're wanting because of all the lacking you of all the because of all the insecurities in you. When and when you are in that state of mind, you'll go through so much hell trying to love the hell out of them. Only to find yourself in hell. It starts with you loving yourself. That's how love begins. With you loving yourself. In that way, you can recognize healthy love. Most people haven't never experienced it because they're too busy seeking love with the wrong people.

So thank you for listening reach out to me. I love hearing from you. Thank you again. I in every episode the same and I hope you do it. Thank on it