Episode 520 A Healthy Relationship is Work but it Shouldn't be Hardwork - podcast episode cover

Episode 520 A Healthy Relationship is Work but it Shouldn't be Hardwork

Jul 22, 202421 min
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Episode description

Most people are unhappy in their relationships, because their relationships are unhealthy. I don't care how much you love someone, you have to put in the work to make it work. However, it shouldn't be hardwork. Too many people settle for unhealthy relationships and think it's the best they'll ever have. Most people just want to be with someone, and unfortunately, many people settle for just that; someone. More than not, it ends up being a person who isn't good for them. You get what you open yourself up too, and what you allow and accept. Most people are miserable, lonely, and unhappy in their relationships, and spend most time fighting in one way or another. It's unhealthy, but most people can't see it.

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Transcript

Hey, hey, I'm bad. Listen with something for you to pick about. Love is definitely work. Being in a relationship, being in love, it is definitely work, but it should not be hard work. When you find that it is hard work, then maybe you need to reassess yourself and your relationship. Too. Many of you are allowing yourselves to be in these unhealthy relationships thinking that's the way love goes. It is not. It is

not. And the reason I say love is work, being in love is work is because any relationship, any good, healthy, wholesome relationship, it requires work. You must do the work in order for your relationship to grow. If you don't, it's gonna die. It's going to die. There are plants that require very little water, very little sun, and they will still thrive. But they gotta get some. They have to have some. So what I'm saying, I use that as a metaphor to say our relationships

are no different. You must cultivate your relationship so it can grow, so it can flourish, so your relationship bond can grow stronger and stronger. That takes work. Some of you don't understand that. Some of you you get into relationships the wrong way with the wrong people and think you're gonna have a great relationship. You have all of this negativity around you all the time, and you think you're gonna have a good relationship. The person you're with is

as negative as you are. You think your relationship is going to work. You think it's gonna be easy. No, that's when it's so very hard. When you're in those relationships where you're unequally yoked. And don't get me wrong now, sometimes those relationships can flip around and become relationships that are equally yoke. Because us people can change. But some of you are waiting around for people to change. It is never going to happen. That's why you

shouldn't look for them to change you. You need to change within yourself. Some of you take so much unnecessary crap from the person who's supposed to love you. The person that loves you or claims to love you is the one who will hurt you the most. You know why, because you have taught them how they can treat you. You gave them that ammunition to hurt you. You did. Some of you are trying your daringness to love someone who don't love you, trying to be with someone who don't want you. Some

of you literally basically forced the other person into the relationship. Well, everyone else's married, we've been together five years. You know, we have children together, our parents, you know they want us to get married. Look at all our friends. Whatever the situation may be, or the excuse. So you feel pressured and you get into it knowing that's not what you want to be in or it's not who you want to be with, but you do it because you think it's the thing to do, only to realize through

just constant drama, that you made the wrong decision. I will tell anyone in this whole entire world, if you don't love and love with the person you're with, if you don't love them and are in love with them, you're gonna have a hard time. Take my word for it. You're going to have a lot of unnecessary obstacles in your way. Because see what people do is they take on all of the negativity that other person is bringing into

the relationship. Plus you're dealing with your own personal inner negativity. It's a train wreck. That's why people think love and being in relationships is so hard, because you're picking the people who are making it hard. For you because you're making it hard for yourself. That's the problem. That's the problem. You are picking relationships in the individuals for the wrong reasons. They look good, So what they have money, they have a particular title or position or

status, You think that's it. That's nothing. When it comes to what it takes to keep a relationship together, that's nothing. When it comes to what it takes to really really experience true love, most people have never experienced it. Most people haven't experienced it. Some people think they are in relationships and it's real, it's true love, and they can't even see how they're being dominated and controlled. They cannot see, as a woman, how she

is mistreating her husband, how she is leading the pack. But he can't see it because to him, it's all good because he's getting what he wants, so he can't see how dominating and controlling and degrading she is to him, and vice versa. Because people want what they want, so they ignore all the other things that comes and really slap him in the face later, because, let me tell you, people will get tired. It may take years and years and years and years, but one day he's gonna get tired.

One day she's gonna get tired and their eyes will open to reality and they don't want to be with you anymore. People can't handle that. That's why it's important to be able to see the truth in your faith, not realizing down the road that you've lost your soul, that you have no sense of self, that you feel horrible about yourself because of the person that you're with. They treat you like crap, so you feel like you're not worthy. They don't love you, so you feel like you're not worthy when you

didn't think you were worthy before that. But you just forgot. You forgot about that because you've taken on all of his or her issues, you forgot about your own. I've mentioned this several times. I've done a podcast about trying to love the hell out of someone only to find yourself in it. Most people are in hell in their relationships in their own homes because they chose

the hard route. They chose the hard road to love because people would rather have some man or some woman than no man or no woman at all. And honestly, that is what most people in the world are dealing with. Most people are in one side of relationships. I will guarantee you any amount

of money. Most people in the world, and I know there are millions and millions and millions of people in the world, billions, Most are in one side of relationships without a doubt because people will settle in a heart beat. Most people don't even know self. They don't They allow and accept any and everything in the name of love. They go along with things, they create these monsters. That's why people treat you the way they do, because

you have allowed them to. You taught them exactly how they could treat you, and that's how they treat you. You're miserable, you're unhappy, but you're still going alone because inside of your brain you still holding on to the thought that here or she will change. Sometimes they never do. Never do. I know people who have been together so long the significant other passed away and they went through all of those years unloved by their significant other. I

know, seriously. I know people who've been together in their thirty and forty year time frames and their significant other past, and they are miserable because they've never learned how to live because they gave everything they had to that other person who sucked the life out of them, literally choked the life out of them, and now that person is dead and gone, and they still don't know how to live because they're so caught up in that mindset that they've always had

and they don't know how to live. They were unhappy and miserable with that person, and that person is dead and gone, and they're still unhappy and miserable. Now they're pining over the dead person that they never wanted to be with anymore, or the or the dead person didn't want to be with them, So they're pining over that person when it was all bad. Tell me something is not wrong with that individual. You have not healed from whatever you

went through. You are holding on to all of that negativity and the negativity that significant other bought into your life or brought into your life. I should say brought, not brought into your life, but you bought into it. Because people think it's the way they're supposed to love. They think it is love, all of the negativity, all of the pain. People really think it's love. That is not love. Like I said, love is hard work when you are loving the wrong person, because love is work, but

it should not be hard work. You have individuals who get together, Oh they'll climb high mountains, swim the most dangerous ocean to get you because it's all a show, it's all fake. Then they get you, mind you they're seeking something. They have an agenda, it's always an agenda, and they get you and who they really are. All of it comes out. They showed you a little bit here and there, but all of it comes out, and you realize they never wanted you in the first place. They

wanted what you had. They want something that you have going on. They don't want you per se, but they will be with you as long as they're getting what they want from you. I mean, there's all kind of schemes and just things that people subject themselves to unnecessarily in the name of what they think is loved. People get together. I mean, you had all of this going on prior to getting together. You get together, Boom,

it all stops. It's the same way with some people getting married. They get married, Boom, all the courtship, all the smiles, the fun, the laughter gone. Some women cook, cook, no longer cook, some of them never cook, but you expect them to cook. Now. I believe both individuals should help out and always. But the point I'm trying to make is a lot of people were doing things to get the person, got the person, and everything stopped. Some of you intimacy every second,

every chance you get get married, boom that stops. I mean, you have to be willing to see the truth because if you don't, you're gonna find yourself in a very unhappy place. Because real love takes work, but it shouldn't be hard work. That's a fact. Anybody want to challenge me on it, please do so, because we're gonna break it all the way down. You wanna challenge me on it, please do so. Because tell me anywhere what abuse, disrespect, taking for granted, degrading, lying,

cheating, stealing, doing all of this stuff to your significant other? Tell me where's the love in that? When you love someone, to include yourself most of all, you're not trying to do no hurt or harm. You want peace. But when it's with someone who have the same mindset of that you have, or worse, hard work because you're trying to make something work that should have never been. And I mean, receive it or not, it's on you receive it or not. But I know what I'm saying is

true. I know what I'm saying is true. You have to love yourself first. You must. You must know yourself, love yourself, under stand yourself first, because it's gonna open your eyes to what you need to see. You'll understand, oh my gosh, he's fine. You will understand that. You'll see that. But it won't mean anything when it comes to keeping a relationship together, because you will understand it takes more than that, way more I hear it's about the storm out there. You understand. It takes

way more than good looks. It takes more than what their title is. It takes more than their possessions, what they have. It takes more than their success. It takes way more than that for a relationship to flourish and grow. You'll never grow if you don't work on it. So that's why I say it takes work. You have to put in the time for quality time. You have to put in the time for communication. That should be daily. You should have time for your significant other every single day. You

must put in that time. You must put in time to enjoy one another, doing things for one another, courting one another, romancing that should never end, never ever, for most it ends. And that's why people have all types of problems. They don't communicate, they don't trust one another. It's just so many things. People set themselves up to fail in their relationships from the start. That's all I'm gonna say. I'm leaving it right there.

I hope you ponder over what I'm saying. Thank you for listening. Much love to each and every one of you. I hope you're all doing well. You, your family, your friends, and all of your loved ones. I hope everyone is doing well again. Much love to you. You know. I end every episode the same. If it's your first time here, welcome, please come back. Also listen to relatable life Chronicles. It have a lot of good information. Share share this episode, Also share

this podcast relationship Chronicles, and I'll catch you the next time. I end every episode the same, and I hope you do it, think on it.

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