Episode 464 Loving  the Wrong Way is Sending Many to Early Graves - podcast episode cover

Episode 464 Loving the Wrong Way is Sending Many to Early Graves

Jan 09, 202430 min
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Episode description

Many people are causing themselves unnecessary stress. People are developing anxiety and depression because of being in unhealthy relationships. There have been many people who cut their lives short because of the continued stress in their lives. Wake up before it's too late! If you fall apart you're no good for anyone to include yourself!

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Transcript

Hey, hey, I'm that or something for you to think about. Listen up. On a serious, serious note, some of you are literally allowing your loved ones to put you in the early grades. You heard me. Some of you are allowing your loved one to put you in an early grades. Some people are loving entirely the wrong way. Some of you think that you supposed to allow your significant other to do whatever they choose to you. Some of you are not holding them responsible. You're not giving them requirements,

you're not laying down boundaries nothing. You're just allowing them to do whatever they want to do to you. You allow them to bring whatever drama they want to bring in your life, and you take it, and it's just chipping away at you. It's causing you so much stress. You're unhappy, and you're at a point that some of you you feel like you're losing your mind. You've lost a sense of who you are. You're allowing your significant others

to put you in in early grades. Now, I will tell you like that, and I've told you many many times, it does not matter how much you love him or her, do they love you. In case you don't know, let me tell you any time you're with someone and all you receive is drama, drama, drama, bullcrap after bullcrap. You're going through and having to deal with Shenanigan after Shenanigan. There's an issue. There's a

real issue and should be real concern. Do this person love you? And even more than that, your greatest concern should be do you love yourself? Because people wanna be people. They're gonna treat you exactly how you taught them. They're gonna treat you how you allow them to treat you. That's a

given. But do you love yourself enough to not allow it. Some people are going to their graves early because they have stressed out and stroked out and had heart attacks, all kind of things because of trying to love someone so hard. You're going through pure hell, trying to love someone so hard that all he's doing is stressing you out and causing your health to be at risk. And I'm not exaggerating. There are a lot of people who have gone

to early grades because of the person that they love. And I mean this could relate to your children, other relatives, but I'm specifically talking about your significant others. Some of you are with individuals who have gone through something health wise, and they don't want to do for themselves because you do it at all. So they're not even trying to get better. They're not even trying to do things on their own because you're at their every back and call,

even before they call. You right there doing whatever need to be done, when they should be doing it themselves. Working yourself to an early grade, literally working your fingers to the bones because you have not given any requirements. You have not helped that person accountable, irresponsible. They know they should be doing something, but because you are always there to do whatever for them, they're not trying to do it. So they sit back and want you hump

pump, pump, pump pump, getting everything done. That's running yourself rabbit. And they said, but they still don't try to do anything. You have to look at yourselves. You can't blame him or her. You have to look at yourself. You are allowing that person to send you to an early grade. It ages you. It ages you, and I'm telling you, when you're aged that way, it is not good. It is not good when you're aged because of worry and stress. It's not a good look.

It's not Millions of people in this world do not know how to love. They think they do, and they always base it on how they're feeling, but not what the whole entire picture is, meaning what they're getting from

the relationship, how they're treated by their significant other. They don't look at that because all they're caught up in is how they feel and what they want so much, so many people totally disregard what they're actually going through, what they're dealing with, They totally disregarded because their mindsets are so on how they feel. And it's not a good thing because most times people get to a certain point where they feel that they're so stressed out. Some people have even

wanted to take their own life. Some people have because they feel that's their way out. Wrong decision, but it has happened. People get to a point of being so stressed that and only when they get to that point sometimes their eyes open and they realize how they've allowed themselves to become, and then all of that love turns into anger and resentment and regret. I've told you from day one, people treat you exactly how you allow. I don't care

how much you love that person, it don't matter. And I don't want you to misconscrew what I'm saying. Yes, loving your significant other is important. Loving your significant other does matter. But what I'm saying is, when it comes to you being worked to the bones, ran into the ground, you have to look at what's going on in the relationship and stop totally basing it on what you want, desire and feel. Look at what you're actually

getting. If people did this, oh my goodness, Oh my goodness, if people really paid attention to what they're actually getting, it could make a world of difference. It can make a world of difference because now you're like, wait a minute, I'm doing this and that and all of these things, and this is what this person is doing to me. No, I'm not dealing with that. But no, people keep trying, keep trying, keep trying. And there's nothing wrong with keep trying. But it takes two

to make a relationship work, not just one. You may have the desire and the heart to try to make it work, but you can't do it by yourself. I promise you you can't. It takes two to make it work. But the problem is so many of you are settling for those one sided relationships that I've talked about on many occasions. You settle for it because some people feel, hey, as long as I got a man, as long as I got a woman, they're coming home to me. Now,

oh, that's why so many people are miserable. You have people who say, oh, I don't care what he does, I don't care what she does. I'm doing my own thing, or as a as long as they come home to me, as long as they come home to me. Seriously, then that's an individual who have another agenda. If you don't care,

you have another agenda. Period. So when you hear people talking that foolishness, they have another agenda, whether it's to do their own thing, to get whatever they can out of the person, whatever, they have another agenda. Because a man that loves his woman, a woman that loves her man, they're not thinking that way. They're not feeling that way. Do whatever you want long as you come home to me. No, they're not feeling like that. Not people that truly love who they are with. Not happening.

But a lot of people will say it because they have a different agenda. There's no way you love your man or you're a woman and you okay with them with someone else, are you okay with them out there sowing their wild oaks, even though some of their oaks have dried up, they're still trying to sew them. You wouldn't be okay with it. So people that are okay, who are saying they are okay, they have a different antenda. You give in these relationships, and you do not think about everything that's

involved in a relationship. You don't. Many people don't. They get in relationships and they just move solely on how they feel or what they want, what they desire. And then you get in these relationships with people who will work your fingers to the bones. They take from you. They drain you in every way possible mentally, physically, emotionally, financially, and just zappen, zapping your energy. That's not love. That's not love they're showing you,

and that's not love, although you perceive that as love. So many people take take, take, take, because they think that's the way you supposed to love, when you obviously don't know what love is. And I always say, if you don't know what love is, you definitely don't know

what it isn't therefore you will go alone with anything. You will do anything you will accept and allow anything, and ultimately you'll find yourself in a terrible, terrible, terrible relationship, one that you regret, you don't want to be with the person. Some of you end up in relationships where you're afraid, you're afraid of who you're with, but you won't leave because you're afraid to leave, You're afraid to stay, and it just wear you down,

down, down, especially emotionally, mentally, and physically. That's why I tell people all the time, get a great understanding of what you're signing up for. Many people are so focused on finding love being with someone, but their eyes are not open and their minds to receive exactly what they're getting. You can't see it because you're blind by what you want, feel and desire. Until you find yourself so deep in such misery that you begin to be

able to seek. And for many, you're in deep and you think you're trapped. You have the mindset of being trapped. Some of you are fearful, some of you full of insecurities. There are so many reasons that people remain where they are in their unhealthy relationships. Some of you, who are listening to me right now, you're literally crying your eyes out because you're so

mircer. You're literally full of sorrow and headache and heartache because of the terrible relationship you're in, and it's draining you, is zapping your life from you. You feel choked and suffocated because you're so miserable and unhappy. It's very important to find happiness within yourself. Stop looking forward in other people. The very person you're looking forward looking for happiness in and unhappy, full of their own issues. But so many of you are looking to people to make you

happy. You can't make it. An unhappy person happy. An unhappy person cannot make you happy. And if you subject yourself to such relationships, I promise you, I promise you you will feel the consequences. You will. So many people, they are so full of regrets, wishing they have made better choices. But it's never too late. And you all know, if you've listened to me, I don't tell anyone to leave their relationship other than

for abuse. That's why it's so important to know and understand what you're getting into. You have to be able to see going into these relationships. You have to be able to see when people show you who they are because it's no life. It is who they are. But so many of you all it's just it's not too much. When that's just a little bit, stay in that relationship and see what happens. You're gonna get a double dose. And some many, many, many people are going to early grades because they

have allowed themselves to be in situations that are so unhealthy and toxic. Some of you are dealing with hostile and volatile relationship that's no good for no one mind. Body are sould no good. But many people are dealing with this because a lot of people it does not matter what their significant others do to them. They think I love him or her so much, they're gonna change. They're gonna change, only to find out they're not. They get it

worse because you allowed them to do whatever they want to do. They become worse. But really it's who they are, who they've always been. They just feel very comfortable in showing you now because you did nothing when they showed you in the beginning. You've done nothing, so now they just being who they are. But you're miserable now because now there's no more pretense, there's no more camouflage. Many people they're getting sick, I mean physically sick,

mentally sick because of the toxic relationships. No one, and I do mean no one on the face of this earth is worth it. No man, no woman is worth it. And it is not love. I don't care if you've been with them forty years. If they are not treating you right, it is not love. If you have to go through so much hell, it is not love. And you don't love yourself because if you did, you wouldn't be tolerating the crap. I know some of you don't want the truth, but I still gotta give it to you. I'm not here

to sugar coat, water down, or or any of that. You can't grow behind the line. You have to be told the truth. And I don't benefit from lying to anyone. And no one can ever become better by accepting the lie over the truth. No one. There is so much going on in this world, but I've realized that so many people want to remain where they have been for years. They want to remain the same, no

change, no change. Some of you get on these social media platforms and you want to follow these people who most of them, most of what they're saying, they're saying what they what they know you want to hear. Most of them have so many issues you wouldn't even imagine insecurity, don't love themselves. I mean, so much going on inside. But they get in front of you of fake fake, fake faith, but you can't see it.

For the same reasons you can't see what your significant other is doing. Because you want something, you have a sense of need for something that is not good for you. People just seeking love, they don't care where it comes from. A lot of times they just want to be in somebody life or someone in their life. They want to be a part of something. But I'm here to tell you it's just not worth it. If you're in a relationship with someone and they're not treating you the way that you should be treated,

I'm sorry you're in the relationship with the wrong person. Let me tell you what I heard yesterday. I was listening to this clip and this woman said she'll choose safety over love any day. Now you know, I had to make a comment because that's ridiculous. You will choose safety over love any day. So you got someone who makes you feel safe, but they're doing

everything they wanna do. Seeing other people just doing whatever they wanna do, as long as they make you feel safe, you would not be happy with that. You would not be happy with that because just because they make you feel safe, it does not mean they love you, and it does not mean that they want to be with you. People need to be careful about

what they say and the information they put out, because that's ridiculous. Then she's saying a man will take respect over love any day, Well, I feel for him, because just because I respect you don't mean I love you. If a relationship is not built on love, you're gonna have problems, I promise you. That's why so many people are just falling apart mentally, emotionally, and physically because of people giving bad information and individuals are believe in

it getting into these relationships. Well, well, let me let me stop that. That's not the real reason. The real reason is because of mindset, inner issues. But people who get on these platforms and put out bad information don't help the situation none. So many people are in relationships miserable because they really believe some of what these people say. You are putting out bad information. If you don't love who you're with, you're gonna have problems.

Hands down multiple So you can believe safety over love, respect over love if you want to, because guess what, if they love you, you're gonna be safe with them. If they love you, they are going to respect you. I mean people, Oh, it's just annoying, the dumb stuff that people say and then individuals signing off on it as if it's right. No, you're wrong, your wrong, wrong, wrong. Millions can avoid bad relationships. Look at yourself, figure you out, love you before you

try to get in a relationship with someone. A lot of people get in these relationships with individuals with their own past trauma or history of past trauma. Then you have your own history of past trauma. Then you come together in a relationship dry mouth drawm But people just I mean they think it's love when it's everything. But so please don't let your significant others send you to an

early grade that they'll break you down emotionally, mentally, and physically. Because if you keep going through what you're going through, the unnecessary, If you keep going through what you're going through, all the stress, it's gonna break you down, wear and tear on your body. In your mind, you do what you want to do. I'm just giving you information. I hope you understand what I'm trying to say. If you have any questions, you have comments, or whatever, please reach out. Tell me to go to

my cast page. It will tell you exactly how to reach me. I will respond. Thank you so much for listening. I appreciate you much. Love to each and every one of you. Remember this is a new year. Do new things, become better. Make that a goal in your life. Only you can do it for yourself. Don't look for here Mahar to help you to become better. You have to do that on your own. Don't look for him or her to change you. You have to do that

on your own. Please share this episode, go check out relatable life chronicles and share. Thank you again in every episode the same and I hope you do it than going it

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