¶ Dating Red Flags and Yellow Flags
It's Reginald ATL , coming to you from the lovely city of Atlanta , georgia , going out to what I assume I guess is a sunny city of Los Angeles to know .
How's it going ? Very , very safe assumption . I like that . Let's keep that going .
We could just repeat that over , and over and over again . We survived the first , you know , the last show we did . We were talking about , like , I guess , like deal breakers and stuff like that , and we're kind of there too . We're going to talk about red flags here , which I'm pretty sure you have more of them than I do .
I don't know if women in general have more red flags than men . The red flags are you like ? If so , if you're a straight man , the red flag is a lot of times just you not being a woman , and then , once you've cleared that hurdle , we're through most of our red flags there . You know what I mean .
Like especially depending on how much interaction there's going to be , which I do have a question about too . So let's start on this . With red flags in general , they're very hard to prepare for because they are so subjective to know , right Like they are .
So , depending on each individual , one person red flag , we're like he ate chicken wings with his hands , and I just don't like it . And then one might be like he ate chicken wings with a fork and I just can't take that . Like you know , it's like it's a different situation for different people . So how do you prepare for that ? Like , how does a person ?
Because you know there's a lot of things that you can do better to get your dating life better or your romantic life better . Right , you can dress better . You can just practice . I tell people all the time with any kind of social situation , practice makes perfect .
You know , if you're just practicing a lot and that will make you better at something , but this is not something that you can necessarily practice for right .
No , and I feel like we have to tell the difference between yellow flag and red flag , because I feel like yellow flag , yellow flag .
Interesting that you don't like .
Red flag is like run away , I won't talk to you anymore , type stuff . That's what I see . I feel like , oh , like he choose with his mouth open , that's a yellow flag Like you could probably deal , or you guys didn't tell him to close his mouth , or ? maybe nobody told him his whole life . You know you're the one to let him know .
Um , that's the yellow flag . Like a red flag is like you . He chooses an album . He told him to keep it closed and he just like spits the food at you or something . That's a red flag . Like yeah , that's a bit extreme there , or actually the anger that he has when you tell him to maybe close his mouth . That could be an issue .
Um , I would look at it that way .
So what's interesting here is the yellow flag versus red flag . I've never looked at it . So the green flag , I guess , is all good , the yellow flag is maybe you could work with it and the red flag is absolutely not .
Basically , yeah , pretty much like . This is the no go . We don't need to talk anymore , we're done .
So have you had it ? What are your ? What have you seen on the yellow flag situation from you that you've just like your real world experience ? You don't have to like call them out , but like your situation that you've seen , that you felt you could deal with , and then did it get better , like did it turn into a red flag later .
Okay , so one instance would be he brushed his teeth with my toothbrush .
Okay , well , no , no , no , no , no no no , no , that is a red flag off top . That is a red flag off top . I mean where you at Whose house were where . What was this ? How did this occur ?
That's what I'm saying . He came over at my house I don't know if he didn't want to ask for one , or God is whatever but at first I was like , oh , let's use this one because you know , like you know , we're already getting it in , so that's not too far of a reach to use our toothbrush For me . I was like you are disgusting .
And no , don't do that . Not the person I thought you were .
Yeah , and I'm of course not going to use that after you like no good . For when I can , like I can get you another toothbrush , or like we have multiples , like we make this work for me , that I would say first time yellow flag , like hey , don't use my stuff like that , that's gross . But if you do it again , no , no nasty .
I know we do other things , but I don't want your like your tooth , like your .
That is gross , that is nasty .
You're talking to me .
Oh yeah . So how did you know he ? Did you walk in ?
I happened to walk in and I was like is that what we're saying ? We ?
gotta have it right . Then , though we gotta have . We're not putting this conversation . What about that ? I just got to know . So did you say it right then , or did you like walk back out and compose yourself ? What did you do ?
It was a shock . I had to say something . Then I walked in and I like you know you look through , you have your stuff in a certain way , like I have my bathroom set up anyways , you know it's easy , quick , efficient , whatever .
And I look over , I'm like it's not in its normal place and I see him brushing and I'm like oh , no , it's not really like a slow motion . We're like oh no , this is not real .
Because that cannot be actually happening . It cannot be actually happening .
So you have an inner monologue . And then it just came out like is that my toothbrush ? And he was like oh yeah , like I didn't have one .
So I was like so that was your option , like that's , that's , that's where you , that's where you decided to go .
And I was like oh , like , I hope you don't give you done that to other people , other people . Where did you learn this ? From who ?
are you ?
with before , Were they just like oh , now we're so close Like we'll share it .
How long had y'all been like together ? Or was it even a person that you were just maybe just smashing , or the person that you were actually like , dating and like ?
we were , we were together . So I don't know , maybe that's why I thought I was like oh yeah , we're cool , we're together , we're never that together . I'll tell you that I don't like sharing my words . I don't even want you reaching over with your fork on my plate , damn near .
You know what I mean . Like I feel a certain way . I don't I don't feel all the way about that , but I do feel away about it . You know what I mean . So what do you think I would feel about this ? Like this is . This is horrible . Ladies and gentlemen , toothbrush is not toilet paper Like you're not going to be over here , like just sharing it .
This is it's not communal Like with .
now I have to share my toothpaste , but you can't can't share my toothbrush .
Goodness gracious , that would be absolutely . You talked about disaster , disaster . You know what I mean , and I have some crazy yellow and red flags . Oh , tell me I do think this one is absolute red flags . That's because I don't like it . I don't like it I won't be able to look at . I won't be able to look at things the same way .
So they're like the , the yellow flags , and this is going to sound . It's crazy because whenever we do these episodes here to know , I always come like , sounding like some kind of like . I don't want to say that I don't . I don't know if it's like .
I'm not superficial , but at the same time , I just have my preferences and sometimes they come off as superficial when you say them and you just express them . Yeah superficial tendencies . Yeah , right , right , I have superficial leanings .
I like that .
It's kind of like but but I'm not all the way superficial . I understand that these things aren't okay , so for one here and it's going to sound crazy . But nails , okay Nails . I don't like when women and this has been something . I've not been able to shake this . I've been like this like all my life .
Okay , I would like I call it like the island of nail polish .
When you look at women nailed .
When you look at a woman's nail and the nail polish is disintegrated off of her nails , like she has for some reason , refusing to take it off and fighting to keep it on , like , and it's just like getting smaller and smaller by the day and it's kind of like .
So , basically , the nail polish is like the island in the middle of the nail and the nail is the ocean . And when you're looking at it and you're like why don't you just give it ? Just just you want it all three months . It's been 90 days . Please take it off , like , like , and I know it's so with me .
I'm so much a live and let live person , didn't know . I've told you this before . We've had other conversations like , I'm not going to try to change a person , but these are things I would definitely look at for a person that , if I was you would hand her no polish remover and a cotton ball . Listen , listen , I .
These are things that when people are dating and they're checking for certain things , this is one of the things I'm checking for , like , I'm checking for it on multiple , multiple dates . Like , if you're coming off this offer on , that's my , that's my pet peeve offer on , you know what I mean .
Okay . So nail polish , okay . But what about like having fake nails or whatever your ? If you have gel nails , acrylic or whatever , yo , if the joints is growing out if the growing out don't get to get your cuticle game together .
Don't think I'm not hip to it . You know what I mean . I know I am hip to it and I see it . You know what I mean . And it's kind of like a little growth , okay , but I feel like you could have got ahead of that . Yeah , like half your nails showing . I got ahead of that .
My nails grow fast .
I'm just saying this is that's just a situation , that , and then like so and this is I'm not . You know , it's funny because I had a conversation with somebody about feet yesterday Because I was doing an event yesterday where a guy , one of my co workers , had said that one of the people that were at the event was an only fans person .
And we were like and they asked a person like how do you know they're only fans person ? He's like , because I'm a subscriber and I and I know that's her and in which she specializes in is naked feet pics . And I said naked feet pics , what is a naked feet pic ?
And I had another , so was a mixture , so it was me , it's a couple guys and a female coworker . We're kind of all just kind of talking . She's like yeah , man , like you know , there's a , there's a movement out there called no feet for free . It's going on out there on social media no free , no , no free feet pics .
And they're like taking full body pics and like blur , like blurring out their feet or like cutting off the picture at the bottom , and I'm like is this really good ? money , I do not know , I mean I guess . So I mean you get your feet game together and you might change your life . And evidently that's what he said about .
He's like you know , that's what she specializes in . I guess she's naked and then she's on her feet , which I feel like it's like an accessory of you being naked . Of course your feet are showing , your feet are showing when your clothes . A lot of times this goes like they're called like sandals , but but it's , it's .
I guess some people are really have this fetish . So with me I don't have like a foot fetish , but I do like nice looking feet . They cannot be busted Like .
¶ Red Flags in Relationships
There was a scene and this is going to like for pieces of all we back in the day is called Boomerang , eddie Murphy , great , great classic movie . If you're able , john Witherspoon , eddie Murphy , go back and watch it . It's a movie called Boomerang and there's a scene of remembering correctly the scene in the movie . I'm not , I'm kind of forgetting .
I'm not sure if it was Eddie Murphy who was in the scene , but a guy , he sleeps with a woman and then he , I guess in middle of the night , like he like pulls the sheet up to like look at her feet and they were like busted , busted , looking , and that's the kind of stuff right there that I remember my life that's . That's a red flag .
That was both of them . Both of them are kind of like red flags To be honest , they're like on you , they're a little no , if you look like you can like like climb a tree barefoot , no problem . I'm not the guy for you . You know you're not dating like a dancer .
Valerie is high style Because they're going to have some like sports and stuff like that , and you're like athletes feet and I'm not talking about athletes feet , I mean an athlete's foot , like if you , if that's what you have and if you're all busted , I mean .
I applaud your dedication to your job .
You know what I mean . That's a very I mean maybe I'll come see you , you know play or something like that , but it's kind of like I don't know . We're not going to be together . No , and the socks is a no go . I'm going to need to see it , you're not .
Oh , you won't .
You're not bullying me , man . It happened with one person , but it's like it's . You're not . No , you're not fully me here . I'm going to need to at least see them every now and then you know what I mean . Just so I can know what I'm getting into . Because it's it , that's the situation , that it doesn't .
It's not like I want to , because you know some people . Then they'll they have like foot fetishes , like they want to touch them , they want to massage them , they're all kinds of like . In that I'm not in it any that .
So that would be perfect .
It's gonna be like Visually okay , yeah , like right like just visually I okay , like they're not necessary , like I'm not like measuring inch , like hey , you're , your big toe was about an inch shorter than your other toes , like what it was going on here , like it's not , it's not like that , it's just a situation where I just want them like nice and in the
same situation with them with the nail polish . It's the same situation , like either on or off , you know , I mean , that's not too crazy . I feel like that's like normal . You know . I mean , is that or does that sound wild ?
No , it doesn't sound wild and I could see like you're just like you have to have this certain type of nail style or you know the length and only this color and touch up twice a week . You know that kind of stuff a little Little bit right but like you know , it's , it's whatever , like sort of the nail chipping .
I can get that because that's it's really not too much to grab Some freaking nail polish and a cotton swab and just know real quick right across that month . So I can see that . But if you're doing like more , like acrylics and stuff , it could be pretty pricey to go and get that feeling there every once in a while .
You know what , man , I think I would have to put in on that ? Let me know where the budget shortfall is and I'll throw something on it . I .
Feel like you would , you would see it , and then you would send her like a cat or a freaking Venom and it's like Right , I just made an appointment for you .
You need to stop by here at three . They're gonna take you to sugar . She's gonna hook you up , don't worry about it . You know , I like already knows what I'm looking for . So yeah , you just . So when we're talking about when we're talking about the red flags .
We talked about a couple of Red and yellow flags on my side , and I'm pretty sure we might circle back to that at some point . What are your yellow flags ? Red flag situations ? Now , no one is it done ? That toothbrush situation is a black flag . By the way , I can give a oh .
I got one more red flag . I got one more red flag . I got a , I gotta add .
I gotta add this . This one I have to add because I have a story to it and I have to add it and it's gonna . This one sounds crazy to a lot of people , but you would not believe how many every woman I've been with I've just not been a problem . I do not like women passing gas in front of me . It's just gonna happen .
It's not gonna happen like if that . If it happens , things just won't be the same , and I've tried to work it out . I've tried to work it out . I've actually been in this situation .
What does she have to do ? Go to the whole restroom , leave you and then no , I don't know .
I don't know what my exes have done , but you gotta do what they did . I'm not sure what the hell they did . Now I'm like like what I think when I have some really long relationships . I'm not sure she didn't pass guys for 10 years around . I'm not sure . I'm not sure what she did .
She did something and the thing is it happened to me and I was , um , it happened to me and I think this is before , I'm not sure this is before we were having sex Because it was happening , me and she was like that kid and I was that kid and I'm trying to , like , get her in the mood . I'm doing my thing , trying to get her in the mood .
And , um , I remember like I don't know if it's just the way that we were laying , but she farted like on my left knee and I felt it . And I remember going . I remember going To work the next day , right , because she was like , oh , my bad , you know , I'm like all right , cool , I'm not listen , I'm not gonna ruin the moment , we're here now .
We're here now . I'm not gonna ruin the moment . So we're kind of doing our thing . You know , whatever , we did our thing . And then I remember going to work the next day and being like , huh , I don't think this is gonna work out . And I worked with a lot of women at that time and they were like what's going on ? What happened ?
And I told them and they were like wow , that was just like yo listen . Um , I told her it was all good , but I know it's not all good because I cannot unfeel that On my knee and even now that was 11 years ago I still feel it . You know what I mean . I still know exactly where I was . I know exactly how it felt . You know what I mean .
It's not like it smelled or anything . It was like a little big type thing and it was like , and I was , and she was like oops , my bad .
I'm dead , I can't .
And I remember thinking like it's all good , it's a human bodily function , like it's all good , but it's not all good .
Have you farted in front of your girlfriend ?
I try not to . I'm not over here like burping my name out and shit and like doing all kinds of crazy stuff like and like Inspecting her to be all prim and prist , like I try to like reciprocate that to a certain degree , um , but the thing is , if so , if it's a happening I was to hear it Maybe we get over it . If it's like silent , one .
What if you smell something ? It's over .
It is F and over , and I'm just telling you right now , like there , there is a problem , right there there's a problem right there . I can't unsmell that shit , and the thing is just like you can't touch up on you and you're like no . Nope , because every time we smash or something , we think I'm gonna think about it and I'm gonna lose it .
I'm gonna lose it . Like you know , I'm not gonna be able to Maintain a consistent situation If that was , if that was to happen , because you know , sometimes , especially if you're like Having a lot of sex with you in your relationship- yeah , like you're part of something like that , yeah .
I mean , wow , sometimes , sometimes your mind wanders and you know I might just be thinking about hey , well , you know , I'm not the game . You know what I mean , and if I cannot have that be one of the things in the rotation of mind , it will mess you up . It will mess me up because then it's instantly over , like it's over , like some things .
I can catch it if I'm just thinking about hey , you know what I , I'm smashing into my hey , what I gotta do at work tomorrow and I kind of lose like no red .
You're really crazy , like you're in a moment .
Let's come back , let's turn back . I can get back on the road . I'm good to go , something like that . I'm off the road . I'm off road , not busted attire . I'm not gonna get back on the road .
Okay . So she's sweet and lets one . She doesn't know she's unconscious . So it's like can you , can you let that go ?
or she's just like I feel like I have to to a certain degree , but it better not smell like , like , because here's the thing about smells have you ever went someplace and then like a smell reminds you of a place like that ? Or a smell like a certain kind of perfume or cologne that reminds you of a person says smells a very powerful sense .
It's one of the five senses , danelle . It's very powerful and it's kind of like it reminds you , like you can smell something like you maybe go on vacation , something you remember how it smells like , or an X , and you smell that Perfume or cologne later on in life . You know I can remind you instantly of that person .
But that's the same thing for a , I guess , gonna remind you instantly of the situation . It's gonna remind you of it . Lasting thing to remind you , um so , no , no , I can't use the restroom in your like she got to go .
Bad number two you gonna make her hold it .
You can't go on your way if you think that first it's a red flag , this is a burgundy flag . You know what I mean . You better not like . You better find a situation where you better listen .
I , I told and and I and this is true story I told my because we had a situation where we're at these one restroom because we're at have other restroom was getting like worked on . So we had one restroom , we had to use it . And I told my girl said listen , if you go , I , there's a few things you need to do .
You need to make sure that the runway is clear , like I cannot . The runway , yeah , I got to know Give me , give me , give me some range . Like you got to know give me 20 to 30 minutes . I need to know that this is your window of time . You got to go . I can know you're doing it , but I can't .
You don't want to , you want to get you done it . No evidence whatsoever , Right ?
So I was like yo , you need to get your spray together . Put a window . If you got to get your courtesy flush on , do whatever you got to do .
You're there , bested and poopery . I can see you , I don't . It is absolutely there .
It is absolutely there . Pupri is in the restroom , by the way , ladies and gentlemen , it's not a game .
What if it's accident ? Or like no , say she's , she might have ideas . So you're not going to date a girl .
I cannot know , like I can't have you go into restroom and making all kinds of noises in there and then thinking like it's all , like it's all good , because it is not . It's not going to be all good , I don't want you coming to blow .
I remember one time I did that to somebody's restroom and I felt horrible , like I went in there and I destroyed it and I remember thinking like yo , I was trying to like make sure didn't stop up the toilet . I'm trying to make sure like everything's good , because I didn't really .
We weren't really dating like that , it was more of like a fling , so I didn't really want it to be like that . And this is the kind of situations I just can't have . Like I can't have , I can't have , lord forbid .
Like I told her like listen , I want to just let you shoot the last and I'm doing everything I can to ensure that it will last a long time . And so I'm just telling you right ahead Now , this is just a thing that I that's like a super sub burgundy
¶ Dealing With Red Flags
flag . It's more than the red sub burgundy red .
Oh , that's hilarious that I can't say that . I've said they're a rip one in front of a duke's note . Like who ? I don't . Personally , I don't want to be doing that anyway .
Right . First and foremost , I don't think I'm a tyrant . I feel like , first , what kind of human being just wants to be doing that in general , like , what are you doing ?
But I'm like you use the restroom and it's . I don't want to like leave streets behind , but that's regardless of anybody . I just don't want them like oh hey , look what you did , like no , so I will little . There's a scrubber there and I see something . I will scrub the toilet .
Yo , so how big .
I mean , it's not every guy is like this , like , and I'm telling you right , this is one of the things that , where there are just preferences in life , like there are just preferences , and one of the worst things about this particular one ending with the nail one , whether it's a nail one or whether it's the passing gas going to the restroom .
Like the women that I've dated in the past , it's not been an issue , except the one that farted on my knee and that didn't last long . And the women in general , like it hasn't been an issue . So they're making it hard for you . You know what I mean .
Like if you have what we dated and they've been you're , you've been with and it's never happened , it's kind of like I know it's possible and that's you know . Know it's possible .
It's , one day could happen , and I don't know man , I would say one of my red flags . I personally , I mean I don't , I'm not into weed and I don't really want someone else around me , I know it is so hard .
It was hard , but I just don't know . I don't want this .
Well , I think it's more so , like a lot of people that are around , like the reliance on weed itself , except like you're avoiding dealing with what the really issue is or whatever it's causing you to want to have to need to relax , type mentality .
So I think that's what my main problem with that would be is that , like you're using as a crutch it's instead of dealing with the problems that's interesting .
That's interesting . And is that isolated to just weed Like it ? Can't that be like a lot of different ?
No , it's same . Yeah , it would be all of it . So mostly weeks I can't tell . I hate smell , but it's the same thing with alcohol or anything else . If something's becoming more of like , this is what I do in order to relieve stress instead of actually dealing with whatever problem that's going on .
Or it's more of like a trigger no , that's the red flag for me , like because I'd rather somebody who at least communicate or or let me know like hey , I'm going through something . Like I need some help with this , you know , especially if you want a long lasting relationship .
I don't want them to be their first thoughts , like I'm going to just know self medicate this way instead of actually working things out .
So what ? What do you ? Because me , I don't think that's really unfair because I don't like smokers in general . I don't date smokers in general . If I was a day smoker , maybe I would date it . If we spoke before , I would date a cigarette smokers , but I think that I would prefer . Like your vape .
You need to get your vape game together , like I could do with that Water vapor pneumonia and it's like like the same with hookah or you know , I think they're almost all the same to me , where I'm just like , nah , I'm good .
So then , where ? Where is that ? That's on your , your red flags , and that's not like a yellow flag .
No , that's more of a , that's definitely red flags . I just can't . I literally can't stand it and I was like it's no , you do it , cool on you and do your thing or whatever , Just won't be with me .
So then you never dated a smoker , a person that's not I have , and that's why I don't like it .
No , that's the red smoker no , but a weed smoker , yeah , and I'm like , no , I'm good .
So then , what are your your ? Is that your biggest red ? Do you think that's your biggest red flag that you have ?
Yeah , because that literally eliminates a whole half of people Cause you were , I'm in California , it is , it is . Everybody does it out here .
Yes .
So just finding somebody who is not about that life , I'm like , uh , one day so what about the yellow flags then ?
Like , if that's your massive cause , cause , because I don't want this show to be like seven hours . I don't want to go through all the flags here . I'm not sure how many flags you have on your list there to know . Well , I would go for definitely your biggest flag , you said earlier , I've got a list .
No , I would say I'm being honest , it is . But uh , I would say yellow is somebody who drinks excessively , um , who doesn't know how to come like an alcoholic . Uh , I didn't even be staying like a step below that where it's like I don't want you to know alcoholic yeah .
First , that's not necessarily like hiding liquor and bottles or books and stuff like that , but people don't read books anymore , so people are running out of place to hide .
If they had one , that I'd be considered like . You have alcohol on there , don't you Right ?
I have a single book . That is the only book I've ever had .
I'm just saying what I carry on every time . I just love reading it all the time . Um , I would be yeah , definitely somebody who really can't have fun without drinking alcohol . Like , if there's anything and they're going to be out in this , even like remotely social , they're going to drink .
And I'm like , if you don't know how to have fun without that , then why are we together ? Like cause you have to be tipsy every single time ?
No , that's interesting Cause I would think that myself a social drinker , but um cause , I can drink , but I'm not A person that is like waking up hitting a bottle , not the person that feels like every interaction with my , my girl , needs to be . I need to go take a shot or something .
So you're going into a vent and they're like we don't have alcohol , you , but I'm gonna leave . Nah , nah , I'm not that Somebody who's like can't be there , than no . What's wrong with you , bro ?
Like you , you don't have a personality outside I do agree kind of with that , like you , you , if you go to a place like it depends to because sometimes I think that it would depend , dennell on On that person preference , like , let's say that you set it up and it's like they're going out for the week and they haven't drank all week , and it's a Friday and
they want to go out , and they want to go out and and they want to go to a place that has drinks . I don't know if , if choosing another place that does have drinks is indicative of an issue , you know , because they haven't drank up to that point , you know .
I would say it's more of like literally , if only time where for every time we go out you have to drink , than no Like if we , you can't enjoy yourself without that , then no , I'm good because I'm like , then you're , then you like . Your alcohol is your personality .
The only way that I can feel loose and have fun or enjoy myself or be outgoing or anything like that is alcohol than not .
That's interesting because I I don't think I've ever been with anybody like that . I'm trying to think in my head . I don't think I've ever been
¶ Relationship Red Flags and Deal Breakers
. I'm a big social I don't say big social drinker because I'm not . I'm a lightweight drinker , so I'm not like I can't like throw them back . You know what I mean . Um , but I do like to drink in social settings .
I've always felt like If you're waking up in the morning and there's like a glass of wine next to your bed , yeah , it's a little like , it's a bit much . I call that like your .
If you're chronic daytime drinking is how and I know that maybe even that sounds judgment , I don't know but if you're Constant daytime drinking , it makes me wonder like that's just a different way of life in the sense of like I don't know why you don't have things you have to do . You got nothing else going on , sir .
Like I'm just saying like , don't you go to like the store or something . So if you're like banging it back , 930 am . You know what I mean and it's like yo , you started your day like this . It's usually Maybe that's indicative of an issue , I don't know . You know it's . I haven't really done anything like that , would be kind of on my teetering on my .
No , that's an absolute red flag . It's not even . I would say no , you're not gonna be like just waking up , drinking and stuff like that . Now Do you consider like so ? So what's the difference ? That a red flag basically is like a deal breaker , right ?
Yeah .
So when a person's making their list , let's go , let's go through your list Person that's making your list there to know is your list like a deal breaker list or is it a Yellow red flag list , or is it just deal breaker list ?
It's impends what stage we are , because , like my beginning ones , definitely I would look more for the red flags , is I'm like why am I gonna waste my time ?
be here three time Eliminate basically .
Yeah , yeah . So , and then after that , then I give them more grace and have the yellow flags . You know things we can kind of work on together . I'm sure they'll have stuff about me that they don't particularly care for . Whatever , I understand that I'm , you know , everybody's human . They got their preferences for stuff for sure .
I would start with red flags first and then turn into the goal with the yellow flags .
How many are you tolerating on the yellow place ? How many yellow flags become a red flag ? Is it like three yellow flags equals a red flag ? As I get older , you get .
You're getting the first one and Like nope , nope , sir , no , you know , I mean as a younger , yeah , I would give you more chances . I'm just like oh , I mean Flexibility . You know they're learning , we're learning together , but I feel like when you get to certain ages , like you should know better for some of these things , especially if I'm able to communicate .
That was an issue for me . Not being able to communicate .
I think communicate is very important , so that would be a hundred percent at the top of Any situations . As much as I talk about the physical situations , that's like number one , right , because I Don't like non people who are being nonverbal in relationships .
Kind of , if you earn a relationship with somebody , you're sleeping with them , you're living with them and all this other stuff . You can't like say stuff to them , but then you're going to work and you're you're running it all your mouth to everybody .
Yeah , especially at a grown age , like you two were on to be doing on it , I like why are you not letting a person know who was actually like in your household with you like ?
I would say that would be one of my red flags right there too , because you have the people who are just like you're having a conversation with them and I can't bring something up Okay , you know , this was an issue for me and then they dump on you everything that they've had an issue with . I was like , okay , right , like right .
Why are you holding all of that in , waiting till now to let go and then be like , oh , you know you were doing it , so I'm gonna do it too . I was like you could have done that before and we could have nipped these little things in a button , yes , piling it to one big dump . Now I don't know what to do with all that .
How can we even go go fix all that and stuff ? So I don't like that one when people just kind of complaint dump on you .
So what do you ? What do you do then with the yellow ? How much time are you giving on those yellow pads you are you having conversations about them immediately ? Are you kind of like , all right , well , we'll just see if this gets better ?
And then , because People maybe just we wanted to see if things can get better before they like really go in about it , you know .
Yeah , I would say even Almost . I want to say , like my yellow flags are reserved for me being in a relationship with this person , like , yes , we had the conversation , I want to be with you or you know , we're gonna see , see things out further . I think those right yellow flags are reserved for them , like they would get more grace than anybody else .
Somebody's been on the street yesterday and it's definitely one of those like hey , we talked about it , maybe , you know , maybe something that I could work on .
It's not that big a deal and something we kind of push past or work through , or if it , if they continue to ignore a boundary that I said , then yeah , it's gonna be a red flag and we're not talking about that .
So if you're gonna do that now , at this young stage of our relationship , then what I'm gonna do later on we actually get through the advice of the standard of you ignoring me or not considering my feelings in in our relationship , then it's only gonna grow from there . So like , why would I tolerate that and begin with .
I think that's fair . That's fair . That's there's nothing . There's nothing . There's there's a . I don't think anything irrational in that . They sound way more rational than than mine . Like you're mine , mine's very straight forward . Compared to mine , they're absolute deal breakers . Yeah , even still , I can't , I can't .
That's just me being honest with myself and honest with them . That's my communication part , right there .
Well then now I have to think of a funny red flag where , just like people will be like really , that's one . Yeah , it is , I need another one for you . What's another deal breaker for you besides parting and feet ?
Yeah , it's probably like all like this is stuff like that , like it's stuff like bad breath . I can't unsmell it , like it's , it's , it's . I can't like you're , you're , I guess , like hygiene in general , like your hygiene game has to be together , because I keep buying together your hygiene games to be together and I think that's one that's more like substantial .
It's not really just crazy , is settling , don't , do not settle , because I feel like when you mean by that , though I ? mean like . So sometimes we get into relationships and we're in them for a very long time and then we just feel like the person , like the we've talked about this before . In a certain sense , the love will keep them .
There are the level here , except whatever I give you type stuff .
Yeah , and it feel like , hey , when you first met me , I was , I was hit , jim , I was doing everything . And then now that we've been together for a few years , I'm on the couch , let myself go a little bit because , hey , she loves me now and I got her , got her down , so I'm gonna kind of just lean on that and I feel like that's complacency .
It's a certain degree , and I do not like that because I am not like that myself and and a lot of these things too , all these things I'm not walking around like dirty busted nails that you're not like .
All these things that I know you're like , you're like , clear absolutely do not there .
There , everything is together . Over here it's all the way off all the time and the thing is is like I'm the kind of person is like I am definitely reciprocating what I want from people . You know what I mean . So I'm not that guy is going to be . I'm not taking a person for granted . You know what I mean . I'm not going to take a person .
I believe time is precious . Anybody just decided they want to spend any amount of time with you . It should be respected . It shouldn't be looked at and you get to the point where somebody's just where they're treating strangers better than they're treating you .
Yeah , and once that gets to that , once it gets to that level , right there where and I remember a friend who's dating somebody like man , whatever somebody new comes around , she's like a different person .
That person I first met , like you know to be just , but then when they leave it's kind of like , well , you know , back to just , it's just you know , it's just you energy and I hate that it's just you energy because I like that we put that ?
yeah , that's hard . I never even thought about that . Just you energy . Yeah , I could , yeah it's .
That's a massive deal breaker for me , because that's my time , is still my time . Like I don't , because we're in a relationship and been relationship for four or five , six , seven years doesn't mean that now I have 30 hours in my day , or now I'm going to live to be 130 now because we've extended .
We've extended on my life and my time doesn't matter no more . No , I believe , like your time always matters , that 24 hours a day always matters , and who you're choosing to spend your life with always matters . So it's kind of like I want that to be reciprocated . You know what I mean .
Like I don't want , if you the things that attracted me or the same things I want you to be doing , I'm not going to have it where , years down the line , you're just not doing it because you've gotten so used to me being around so comfortable yeah , I can write with that .
Yeah , cuz I'm like I , especially somebody that I truly care about , I would want to keep impressing you . I want you to be like this is my girl .
I don't know where ever we go , so , of course , like I want to , I want to keep myself up and all kind of stuff and then you know whatever it is , but whatever that means for our relationship pretty much , and I definitely wanted to be like impress every time I come through . Like dang , that's her . I got that like who wouldn't wouldn't want that feeling .
I'm not going to be like that all the time .
So , even as you guys go by , and know , like with people , like saying that you got to walk around and high heels and lingerie all day , type things . It's not that . It's not that , it's just a sense of like the same things that brought you to the table would be the same things that keep you at the table . You know what I mean .
And a lot of times people's behavior changes with time because the comfort sets in and then you start to think that this person will never leave me . And I've seen this . I've seen this and then I've seen massive hurt in relationships when the person does leave . Our friend that's going through that now .
She left for us and her husband her ex husband thought she would never leave me . He literally told her that I just didn't think you were ever leaving , so he was never the hell he wanted to do .
Yeah , that's easy to me they think that , like you know , being married to somebody or in a long term relationship is like a lock , like you in , like you done . I was like no , I still get out . Freedom is freedom .
That is what it is , and people are only going to tolerate so much , especially when you , when you have always been with this person or even put this person so long , and then , like you said , with your friend , they're around somebody different or new and you see a whole new side .
I think that would be the red flag to like when you go meet the family for the first time and they act totally different , like in your shock , like who is this person like ? Especially if it's a guy , like you've been dating for a while , you're expected to do certain things from , like some of the traditional people , whatever could clean all that stuff .
And then you get to like go see his family and you have been hanging around them for a little bit . You see him doing things that he don't even do at your house . You like , well , you done , put your plate up .
What the hell right , you never want to dish in your life over here or you know big one , like if you want to go back to the little housewives or what knows it , love and hit power , something like that .
I guess like somebody you had taken so much from within the relationship we've been over backwards , you know , accepted things or whatever , and you see him around another woman and he shows her a level of care and consideration that you didn't think was possible . Yes that was like a stab , you know .
I've been doing all this . You know to be like I'm the person that's actually going to be here for you . These are complete strangers . You know people and that can be the same way with social media , like paying so much more attention to your virtual friends .
When you need money , you're not going to ask your virtual friends , you're asking the person with you all the communication skills in the world online with your friends , your Mr , mr or Mrs bubbly online , but you can't be that same person for the human being that's actually caring for you in your house , right like it . You kind of like devalue that .
So I would say that that's probably that in communication are like massive , massive red flags for me .
I would , yeah , I same , I would have to agree . I was gonna say , if there's gonna be like a oh , a funny red flag for me personally , oh , we'll be
¶ Clean Teeth and Good Hygiene
. I , oh , I'm a teeth person meaning . Clean teeth period if you forget to brush your teeth just once You're done . Sir , I want you know plaque , I don't .
Get that dinner plan . Nails said you better like for the dental plan if you don't take nothing else .
You know , at least If you're missing a couple of them . But I like , I like a good smile .
Have a very teethy smile like my . My smile is like all teeth man .
They're clean teeth and that's the thing , and I guess it goes back to having the clean like the fresh breath . You got a rotten tooth in the back . Oh , dentist , I have great health care .
Let's collaborate . I'm getting that fix for you .
Yeah , they don't have to be fantastic , but at least like if you roll through a couple mornings and it's like hey , what's up ? And I'm like bro , you don't see that , you know , you know it's gracious . Oh .
What if it's just like I'm too picked ? Promise go , just go . Go go to the bathroom and handle that go .
Yeah , that's fine if I'm able to tell you that . But if you're just like , oh , it's fine , no , it's not fine , tell me to have . I got something , my tea , let me know . Or or you know what people have like little the corner mouth bitties , oh , Goodness gracious .
My pet peeves don't , if people don't tell you that you have something on your face like you're gonna be red , like would it be yellow flag , because some people like the firmware they like .
With some people there that's a not . Sometimes they think it's being rude actually say that needs to be happening instantaneously , like that is Before you even leave the crib like , don't even let the person walk out the door , like that . If you see it , why and why would you hold that in ? I don't want to look at that shit .
Notting my downfall . Aren't you like , cuz ? I've seen people do it and like they're like a dude I like ? No , I know you didn't tell her as she got some of a face and you let her go around talking to people .
I know you see it , but you're not gonna tell her anyway , cuz I feel like it's a slow key , it's manipulative , you trying to humble her a little bit because when she finally figures out and you're like you , let me walk around all this time with the stuff on my face . You like he had fire . I didn't know .
You didn't know what you mean , I didn't know the problem . Yeah , you did , sir , like you playing and that's that kind of little things that are so manipulative . I can't stand that . I'm like I had a couple instances . People do that to a woman or anybody around them , not and not say anything .
I was like you got they got the most crusty as boogers up in there .
Goodness , my red flag . Just you having them , I might be out of here . Just on that , goodness gracious , we went full circle Back to my red play . Listen , that's what a bed is for you . Better get in it . Go , get in that bed . Me work that out like a little nose crusty . No , no , not red .
What about I booger ?
Nope , I Can take that purse , but no , work it out . Work it out , man , work it out . Let me taste . The women are better , I'm gonna better human beings . There's a higher level expectation because women are just better like man . I , if I was like a woman , I'd be such be a lesbian . You kidding me , I would not be fucking these dudes , what so ever .
Women are better , smell better , they're smarter , they're just better . So it's kind of like I Just couldn't , I can't , I can't go with any bro type stuff . You know what I mean . And you being crusty , you like Burpin , farting and stuff , that's all dude stuff to me and I can't , I can't have it , people are comfortable .
There's this thing it's like a level of closeness that I I don't think I'll ever achieve , or nor do I Right like like somebody use your toothbrush right ?
I never , would ever be that close to you .
And like , with the advent of social media , people are sharing stuff . It's like , like I said , like please bring back shame .
Yes , absolutely Absolutely , and he's lucky like it . You didn't really put him out there because you could be warning everybody else . Like listen , hide your toothbrush if just dudes around like because he sees no problems with it . You know me , he sees no problems with grabbing your stuff . You know what I mean , and it's not just lotion he's grabbing on .
So it's kind of like no , no , I'm with that and I appreciate you taking some time out because we want to talk more . We do a lot of these subjects , would do some more research or fun subjects to do . Appreciate you taking some time here to know .
No , thank you . I mean I have time to like really think about some of these things and definitely upgrade it to my yellows to red . So thank you , I appreciate it Well making progress here .
This is a regin atl . Check us out , stitch your heart . Radio , google podcast , apple podcast , spotify , where we find your podcast . See you next time .