I Am A Melt

Lyrics: Jack Frayne-Reid Music: Paul Simon Idea: Tim Heidecker (with the timeless 'I Am A Cuck') I’m a dad Who’s lost the right to see his children But still I have my friends Like the Tony Blair Institute And the Brussells Bureaucrats I’m a two-time guest on the Remainiacs I am a melt I am a Tory I’m a cop And I’ve taken down your details Cause you just said I was too right-wing I am a subscriber to New Statesman magazine And my favourite Jolyon’s Jolyon Green I am a melt I am a Tory Don’t talk of Jez And especially Diane Abbott Not that I’m racist or anything I’m really scared of Brexit but there’s one thing I fear more When the hard left thugs come knocking at my door I am a melt I am a Tory And a melt always melts And Corbyn supports ISIS