Hey there everybody welcome back to another episode of Redeemed Through His Blood. Scott and David Durfey here as always. How are you Dave? I am great. Thank you Scott. Beautiful day here. Yeah, we are getting some good weather here on the Wasatch Front in Orem, Utah where we record. Probably be snowing when people listen. Probably be snowing here when people actually listen to this because it is always the week or two delayed. Yeah, this is spring. Right.
Well that is true and it is spring and you know they say in Utah if you don't like the weather just wait 20 minutes. It is going to change especially this time of year. It has been wonderful this week hasn't it? Yeah, it has been a great week.
Well Dave, I think last week we spent most of the episode talking about the crying out process, the importance of that in terms of our repentance, in terms of our turning to Jesus and trying to make ourselves available to Him and Him available to us in our lives. This week we move into the manifestations of repentance. Yeah, so again, Scott I think as I see it and as I have taught it and outlined it, it seems to me that there are four essential elements in the process of repentance.
Repentance is a process, it is not an event, there aren't steps. Some people work better when they have steps and that is fine and Elder Anderson has taught us how to do that in his book The Divine Gift of Forgiveness. But there is these essential elements as I call them and they are the foundations of repentance. The doctrinal understanding, these are the foundations.
Spiritual understanding, faith in Christ, true faith in Jesus Christ, in His Atonement, the understanding of what repentance is and what it is not, the complete and uncompromising honesty that is required. Those are all foundations of repentance. Then you have the conditions of repentance which is a broken heart and contrite spirit so critical to fulfill those conditions of repentance that one experiences godly sorrow.
The actions of repentance is what we have spent time on recently which is crying out to God in faith and offering our whole souls and our sins to him as our sacrifice. So those are the actions of repentance.
That is kind of the heart of repentance, Scott, is the crying out and recently in Come Follow Me, you know, we didn't really talk about this, I don't think last week, but I guess we did a little bit, but we talked about Enos and Alma last week and in Come Follow Me, that is where we have been recently. And it just kind of struck me thinking about it this past Sunday as we studied that as a family and that was taught in Sunday school and all the classes in church.
This experience of Enos is just a profound example of that where the word cried I think is used three or four times in that small chapter. He's crying out and I know, Scott, that we can cry out anywhere at any time to God and He'll hear our prayers. We can, you know, I think we quoted, we amulet in Alma 34, cry out in the morning, cry out at noon, cry out at night, anytime, cry out.
We talked about, Amulet talks about crying out in your fields and your closet and he talked about what you cry for and Amulet Alma 34 is such a great example of what it means to cry out anytime, anywhere for anything. However, it's it, it, real crying out is not very casual. It's not easy, breezy. It's not just, it's not really informal. It is deep and it is reverent and it is worshipful and it, it acknowledge, we acknowledge our need and complete total dependence upon God.
Crying out is the really, any prayer is great, any prayer at any time, anywhere is great. But crying out is a different level, a deeper level of prayer. When I think of crying out, Dave, you know, this is more than just, like you said, just a prayer. This, and it's more than just an event, right? It's more of an experience. It's a yearning. Yeah, and it requires a lot of energy. It does work a lot of work and a lot of introspection, a lot of feeling around that.
We are introspective around and so on. So yeah. And it's, it's the level of prayer. I mean, Joseph Smith's first prayer, we call it his first prayer, where it really wasn't his first prayer, but Joseph Smith's vocal prayer in the sacred grove was a, was a form of crying out when Moroni appears to him three years later because of him crying out. And I'm not even sure that was out loud.
You know, he's got, he's sleeping in a bedroom with a bunch of brothers and sisters and he's probably laying in bed. That's how we at least picture it. That's how it's been painted. I don't know really where he was. Maybe he snuck out of bed and knelt down. I don't know. So I don't know where he's at, but he may be laying in bed crying out when Moroni appears to him, but it's, it's the yearning. It's the stretching, the soul stretching yearning that we experience that leads to this crying out.
And, and I want to read something from the Bible dictionary that we didn't read last time. And that's one of my favorite parts of the Bible dictionary. It's in page 707, the Bible dictionary. It's under prayer. All right. So Brother Matthews writes this in the Bible dictionary under, under the topic of prayer.
As soon as we learn the true relationship in which we stand towards God, namely that God is our Father and we are His children, then at once prayer becomes natural and instinctive on our part. Many of the so-called difficulties about prayer arise from forgetting this relationship. Prayer is the act by which the will of the Father and the will of the child are brought into correspondence with each other.
The object of prayer is not to change the will of God, but to secure for ourselves and for others blessings. And I'll add forgiveness that God is already willing to grant, but that are made conditional on our asking for them. Get this. Two last sentences. This requires some work or effort on our part before we can obtain them. Prayer is a form of work and is an appointed means for obtaining the highest of all blessings.
And I think the highest of all blessings, God, is forgiveness and to receive from our Heavenly Father knowledge of our standing before Him. A couple of weeks ago when we did that interview with Nick, one of the things that, maybe even the thing that really changed Nick's life and the direction of his life was when he was reading in the book The Divine Gift of Forgiveness where he read that Elder Anderson said something along the lines of, and at some point our soul begins to cry out for Christ.
And we asked Nick, we said, Nick, what was that like for you? What was the crying out? What did that look like to you? And for Nick, Dave, if you'll remember, it wasn't just a single event, but it was a period of his life where he felt like his crying out to Christ. And then finally, when he was able to understand that that's exactly what that was, was a crying out for Christ. That's when he was able to make it efficacious in his own life. Yeah, crying out is not just one single event.
It can be. It was in Enos's case. Seemed to be in Alma's case. I mean, for probably three days and three nights he was crying out, but after three days and three nights and not being able to speak. And Alma's crying out would have been in his heart and mind because he couldn't speak. I know Elder Holland's recently encouraged us to pray vocally and we've talked about that, but the power that can that praying out, crying out vocally can be a blessing.
But I just think that we are sometimes just too casual, too trite, too insipid in our prayers. Yeah. I know for me, you know, a couple of weeks. Well, last week, I guess it was. You asked me if you ever had that crying out experience and I've been thinking about that all week and I've had more than one. We don't have to prepare and then make this a once in a lifetime event for sure. Crying out could be. Maybe it doesn't have to be, but it can be.
We don't, we really can't be prescriptive on this, but it can be something that happens more than once in a person's life. And I think that that's been the case for me. Well, if it truly, if we're repenting daily. Yeah. If we, as we've been asked, I guess you're right. Asked to do if we're, if we're repenting daily and of crying out is the, the action of repentance. Our prayers just didn't need to be more, more reverent, maybe, maybe more preparation.
More intentional, more intentional, more, more sincere in more faith and not just kind of going through the motions. Anyway, I just to review on what does it really mean, you know, to cry out and what does it really mean to offer our whole souls and our sins to God? Well, that's, those are the actions of repentance. Those two, I think it's kind of the heart of the process. Again, Scott, somebody could start with that process.
This is a process and a person starts in this process at every possible point there. I mean, it's so individual. It's so personal that someone could start there before the foundations of repentance have even been met. Yeah. Well, and I think Nick was a great example of that. Yeah. I think he is. Yeah. Yeah. And now, and now after doing all that, now he's really learning the foundations of repentance and what makes it work for him.
And he spends, I think he said he had spent two and a half hours that morning studying the scriptures and, you know, his preparation to do the podcast or whatever. And that seemed to be a kind of a daily routine for him. Yeah, it is. Anyway, I just hope our listeners understand that wherever you're at, you know, you can begin to experience almost immediately the miracle of forgiveness and the divine intervention of God in the process of repentance. But you can't be too casual about it.
Eventually you have to come to a point in the process where there's this crying out, this yearning, this real connection. And it really does help as the Bible dictionary and Brother Matthews says to remember our relationship with him, that it's a child and a father relationship and that he wants to help us and bless us. And he already knows what we've done wrong. So why would we not cry out to him? Right. Why would we try to hide that?
And that kind of leads us into maybe what we want to talk about today, Scott. Well, let me just make one more quick comment on that. You know, you say it's a father and a child relationship and for a lot of us, that's really a great thing. But for some people, Dave, that's not, you know, because the relationship that they've had with their father has been difficult. You know, the earthly father, their earthly father.
And you know, and that's what that's how sometimes we relate our relationship to our heavenly father is through the experience that we've had with our earthly father. True. And I guess we shouldn't do that, but we do nonetheless, because that's nature. That's human nature. That's that way that just to us, that just makes sense.
I've said it before, you know, I heard somebody one time say, well, if I have a father on this earth that loves me, but I have a father in heaven that loves me a thousand times more and infinity cannot be measured. I mean, I know I'm flippant about that a little bit in saying that because there's no way to measure heavenly father's love for us. Because so that we can relate as humans, sometimes we do that.
So then if I have a dad that's mad at me or a dad that pushes me aside or a dictator dad or that yeah, any of the any of the negative things that you can think about. Well, if that's how we see our dad here, that may be improperly or inappropriately. We project it. It's called project that on to our heavenly father. And overcoming that can sometimes be difficult for us.
Right. And the experience that I've seen and maybe even had a little bit myself is even that crying out for him to reveal his true identity, his true love, his true self to me. And sometimes that can be helpful. So for those of us and I know that there are those who are listening who are like, yeah, Scott, that's exactly right for me. It's difficult for me to approach that fatherly relationship because of the father relationship that I've had here.
Well, it's really difficult for all of us, even if you have a really good father, right? At some point, you have to acknowledge their weakness and you can't base your ideas of heavenly father, right, based on the qualities, weakness and in in adequacies, fallen nature of of your earthly father. Correct. It's you just can't do that. Again, that's why the foundations of faith is to understand the character attributes and for affections of our heavenly father, right?
And to at some point believe that we have inherited some of that in our spirits of his nature. And when we understand the relationship between us and our heavenly parents when we really can get a glimpse, I mean, I so sweet given patriarchal blessings, Scott, because I I see that and I feel that weekly.
Yeah, if if people who come to me and get patriarchal blessings, if if they would just in a couple of paragraphs, I tried to describe to them in most blessings, it may be one paragraph, maybe two or three on it anyway, it's always different. But heavenly father wants them to know his relationship with them and how he sees them.
And if we could kind of see ourselves the way he sees us, this whole process of repentance and crying out and all that we all that we try to do when we worship worship would come just so naturally, not easily, because we're falling into the actual world, but it would just come so naturally. And that's true for the process of repentance and prayer.
Well, and all of this really underscores all of the things that we've talked about up until this point about developing a relationship about knowing who he is about going to the garden with him about look unto me and every thought all of those things. That relationship is becomes an invitation and it breaks down those walls. We've talked about this. It breaks down those walls. Sometimes we need in order to have that effective crying out experience.
Yeah. Well, so today, again, we've talked about foundations, conditions and actions of repentance. And today we get into what I call the manifestations of repentance. And that leads us to the Scripture and Doctrine and Covenants section 58, verses 42 and 43, Scott, you want to read that, please? Behold, he who is repented of his sins, the same as forgiven, and I, the Lord, remember them no more. By this, you may know if a man repenteth of his sins. Behold, he will confess them and forsake them.
By this, by this, you may know if a man repenteth of his sins, he will do this. And the Lord says that he will confess and forsake them. So as the Lord, as the Lord speaks about repentance, Scott, talking to the prophet and the people and early in the restoration, he's trying to teach them that the manifestations of repentance, you'll know if they're repenting because they will do this. They'll confess them and they'll forsake them.
So I see confession and forsaking more as a manifestation that one is truly already in the process of repentance. It's the manifestations of repentance. Confessing, again, an individual, I think many individuals, especially maybe youth, this is where they start in the process of repentance. They start by confessing, right? They think of repentance as confession. They think of repentance as being through the church and that they have to go to see their bishop in
order to repent and that's where they jump into the process. And that's okay. That's alright. It can be perhaps a lack of understanding about the process, but whatever it takes and wherever they're at, God will take them. So confessing, I think, is a really critical part. The Lord mentions it in several other places. Let's look at Mosiah 26 verses 29 and 30. Therefore, I say unto you, this is
the Lord speaking to Alma. Alma's become the new high priest and he's trying to figure out how to fulfill and magnify that calling and what to do with people coming to him, seeking their sins and what to do about it. And so he's seeking to know how to magnify his calling. Therefore, I say unto you, go and whosoever transgresseth against me, him shall ye judge
according to the sins which he has committed. And if he confesses his sins before thee and me, and repenteth in the sincerity of his heart, him shall ye forgive, and I will forgive him also. Ye and as often as my people repent, will I forgive them that trespasses against me. So the Lord verifies here and in many other places in the Bible as well that confession is an important part of the repentance process. And when we talk of confession, Scott, it's
really not just a priesthood leader. I mean, when people hear you got to confess your sins,
they immediately think of a bishop or a stake president. And these men, these wonderful priesthood leaders who have the keys of the priesthood, keys of repentance, keys of the bishops as a president of the Euronics Priesthood and the responsibilities of the Euronics Priesthood are well described by John the Baptist when he restores the priesthood in Doctrine and Covenants section 13, you can read that the Euronics Priesthood has the keys of repentance.
And the bishop as the president of the Euronics Priesthood, he has the keys of the gospel of repentance. That's why we confess to the bishop. He has keys and those keys, anybody who's committed serious sins should want to have those keys turned for them and go to work for them and helping them to repent. And he's a judge in Israel. You know, it's important that we point out in Doctrine and Covenants section 107, the bishops are referred
to as judges in Israel. So we have these wonderful judges of Israel who have keys. And we go to them not to be forgiven of sin, but to help us to help to turn the keys that will heal us to help us to become more connected to Jesus Christ and our heavenly Father through
ordinances and covenants and counsel and inspired teachings. You know, everything that a judge in Israel should do is not to focus on punishing the sinner, but on what they can do to help us engage in the process of repentance, because ultimately forgiveness is not through the church. It's through Jesus Christ and the gift of the Holy Ghost. And those who have
the keys of repentance can help us to receive that. But we don't have to, I just think too many people depend upon perhaps a priest and leader for their forgiveness and to, to sometimes they see that as the beginning and end of repentance, like the little girl and I'm grateful I don't even know who she was because I found the note on the floor, right? We've talked about this before. I found the note on the floor after teaching all day in a
seminary classroom in American Fork High School. And I go back and I find this paper on the floor and I pick it up and I can see it's a, it's a note passing, you know, these two girls and I'm sure again who it was because there was no name on it, thankfully. These two girls are passing notes back and forth in my class talking about their sins. And this one little, you know, little girl says, Oh, are you gonna go see your bishop? You
know, and, and yes. And then, and then finally, as they've been doing this, I think for days. And finally the note says, Hey, I went and saw my bishop yesterday and I confessed my sins and I feel so much better. And anyway, and I'm glad that's behind me. Something like that. I'm glad that I'm glad that's over. Yeah. I'm, you know, I'm, I'm, I'm finished. I'm through. Yeah. Well, you can't blame her. No, no. And I, I was probably
partly my fault. I mean, I, I remember thinking when I picked up that note and read it, I thought, Well, I am really a lousy teacher. I have not really done a very good job of teaching repentance in my classes. Well, we grow up, David, being taught. We grow up, we grow up with a, with a sometimes a false understanding, but an understanding nonetheless
of the, of what these things look like. I thought that, you know, I, I've had that feeling and thought people, you know, so absolutely so have I. And, and it wasn't until I was months into my mission, after trying to confess over and over and over again, before I went on my mission, confessing to the mission president at the missionary home in Salt Lake City before there was even an MTC. I was confessing to him standing in the line for until 12 o'clock
at midnight. I mean, it was midnight and I was still in line to confess my sins one more time before I went on my mission. Cause I knew I still didn't feel forgiven and I couldn't figure out why don't I feel forgiven? I keep confessing my sins to the, to the church and I still don't feel forgiven. And they all said I was worthy enough to go on a mission, but I couldn't feel why I didn't feel forgiven. I thought, I thought repentance was confession.
And it wasn't until months into my mission that I figured out through the Book of Mormon, which is really, I think the handbook on repentance and forgiveness, ultimately. Repentance is mentioned in the Book of Mormon over 300 times. And in the New Testament, I think it's, it's
not not even 30 times. So we're, we're so blessed to have the Book of Mormon is as a guide for what repentance really is and how it works and how it's through, through Jesus Christ and because of his atonement and, and that the Holy Ghost administers his mercy and grace. So I was the same way, but I know that confession does include sometimes when certain serious sins are committed, it does involve the Bishop. And, and yet that's only a small part of what
confession means. Right. And not all, not all sins should be confessed to the Bishop. No. Not all sins are at not even most. Right. Right. Not even most sins. Whenever there are certain serious sins where our membership would be in question or where our worthiness to participate in the ordinances of the gospel may be in question. The Bishop has keys to
protect those ordinances and to protect us. And really, that's, that's the other reason why we go to see a Bishop, not just so he can help help us through the process, but to protect us. Right. To protect us and to protect other individuals and to protect the church. Really, a lot of repentance and confession to the, through the church is to protect ourselves,
others and the church. And that those are the ultimately the three questions that a priest and leader must ask themselves to determine whether there should be a membership counselor or not is, are there innocent victims involved here? And how can I protect this individual through the atonement of Jesus Christ and by receiving ordinances and covenants? And
third, how can I protect the integrity of the church? Those are ultimately the three questions that a priest and leader has to ask themselves when they, when they receive a confession from a member to determine whether there needs to be further action taken in a membership council by the church to again help speed up the repentance process and to make sure that innocent victims are protected and the church is protected and ultimately that the individual is protected.
And we get back to there are certain sins that we really do need that turning of the key from a priesthood authority in order for us to access the enabling blessings of the atonement of Jesus Christ to the degree that we need them to overcome. So often, David, there are those sins that need to be confessed are really difficult to forsake unless that key has been turned. Absolutely. You know, and that is one of my observation. In fact, my experience has been and I teach
this to the kids in our Institute class that struggle with this. Why do I need to confess? Well, if you're if you if we're having difficulty overcoming a particular sin, the turning of that key blesses us so that we can overcome. There's there's power in those keys, Scott. I'll say I know there's a mantle. Yeah, there's a mantle and there's power involved in the keys of the priesthood. I know that I assure witness and testimony of that as experienced that on on both ends of that. Right.
So I in no way do I want to minimize the role of the the priesthood and the church in the repentance process. But I know there's a lot of confessing going on because we we live in such a filthy sin filled world. You almost can't live in this world that we live in today without the end of the day feeling a little dirty. Right. And people see things, they think things, they feel things. Sometimes they do things.
And I just think there's a lot of going to a bishop. I know that some bishops have members on on some sort of a speed dial or there's actually a lot of confessing going on by texting these days. I know that for a fact that some bishops have shared with me their members texting them when they have another poor not pornography issue. And they've they felt the bishop and I'm not I'm I'm not questioning this. I'm not criticizing this. I'm just this
is the observation. Some individuals have been felt help and probably been well I know in some cases instructed by their bishop to confess when it when they have poor pornography problems. And sometimes that's daily. Yeah. And that's the point. You know, it's not because I because a person has a pornography problem. It's they're wanting that confession on every instance. Yeah. Of I just don't know how healthy that is myself. But anyway, I'm not going
to make a judgment about that because I don't know. That's probably that can be a very individual personal thing. And I'm not going to question bishops revelation or promptings on that. But my only point is, there's a lot of confessing taking place in the church and not enough confessing to God. That's that's the point I really want to make Scott. Well, and so much of the confessing that's going on is being seen as repentance in and of itself.
If we see if we see confession is just a component to the repentance process, then it makes it different. But if we see confession as repentance, repentance, that's a problem. That's a problem. It's a major and some of us do. Oh, there's a lot of people in the church that do and I I and that's they get less than understand it's a process and not an event. And then it's a entails a lot of other things besides confessing to the church. I I know I've said
this probably too many times, but repentance is not an institutional activity. It's not through the church. The church has a critical role that it plays when certain serious sins are committed. And we brought that up now what four times certain serious sins are outlined in the handbook of instructions. And one can go to the handbook of instructions on the chapter on repentance and look at those. But these are criminal activity or serious sexual
immorality that takes place or any any abuse of any kind or illegal activity. Those those sins it's absolutely not not important critical that they be confessed to the church and and the Lord will not forgive unless a person is working with the church to overcome those and and I know I know that confession is is important. And yet sometimes people never get around to really confessing to their heavenly Father. And so I I think it's important that
they understand us. And by the spirit by the spirit one needs to know whether they need to confess to the bishop or not. I think it's important that we point out to that because I've I've thought this before. I've thought well he already knows why do I need to confess to him. He knows you know. So let's just make it clear our confession to Heavenly Father is not to inform him. Right. Because he does already know. Yeah he knows all about us.
What this does is demonstrates an attitude of humility and alignment with the Atonement of Jesus. Well that's that's the Adam and Eve you know thing that we we learn in the scriptures and in the temple is is you know Adam and Eve you know and and their whole experience in the Garden of Eden you know where they hide and the Lord calls them out
you know where are thou. Well that that's probably a pretty good place to start when we confess to our heavenly Father is right is maybe pretending like we're hearing him ask us that question right where are thou and telling him where we are spiritually telling him where we are in our relationship with him confessing that first you know and then later the Lord ask them what is it that thou has done then we can once we have described
to him our general spiritual conditions and asking him for help with that it would be good then to to I think it's important to confess specifically as specifically as we can to acknowledge what we have done even though he knows it Adam and Eve trying to hide from God is almost laughable right and yet we do it all the time he knows where we're at and he knows what we have done and we should we should acknowledge that there's something
about the accountability of that us being accountable us hearing ourselves say it the humility the meekness that it takes that's required to do that to confess that to it it's it's such a it's more than just a confession Scott it's such a statement of faith to believe in God and believe he's hearing us and believe in our relationship with him as a child to a father it's just so critical that we be honest with him and that we hear ourselves
say it and confess it to him I you've you know and sometimes as a father some things that your children have done and you didn't want to force them into a corner or or force them to repent because that wouldn't be repentance that wouldn't even be repentance but when my children enforced by me even though I may know of what they've done if if they will volunteer it and willingly confess it without me acknowledging it before they confess it
that is so much more cleansing so much more redeeming so much more healing right to to their state is that they did it I didn't force them into it I didn't say I know what you've done and all of a sudden begin to chastise them before they had the opportunity to confess it I mean that's that's the process of confessing to our Heavenly Father so let me let me just let me just comment on that real quick you know you as a parent and as a father in heaven
there are things you know that we could force our kids to repent of or to confess to us stuff even that we already know but where's the hope and change in that yeah there's very little hope in change and so you know in change and repentance we've talked about are very similar almost synonyms right and so if if I'm forced to confess or if I feel even yeah I'm just gonna leave it at that if I feel forced to confess then where's the hope and
change you know there's there's there's very little hope in that I will be able to change if I am if I'm forced to confess well sometimes Heavenly Father will not wait for a confession right before he takes action I mean sometimes Heavenly Father will wipe out an army or he'll wipe out you know there's lots of examples that in the Old Testament and other places where individuals even Alma himself being struck down I mean Alma was not not any state
to confess his sins until he was struck down and that was not because of Alma but because of Alma's father there's lots of examples in the scriptures of Heavenly Father trying to help his children or the or because of the faith of others who love that individual who Heavenly Father will will prompt them in different ways I've heard lots of modern Alma the younger experiences where an individual has gotten in an accident or where things have
happened in their life which some parents would acknowledge as being an act of God to help their their child to repent we're all examples of that in some ways right yeah certain events are by divine design take place that kind of help us to hit a spot where we're more willing to cry out and confess our sins so Heavenly Father doesn't always wait but I think most the time it is better when he can wait and he knows he knows all things when
he can wait where we don't have to hit rock bottom where we because of our humility and meekness we're willing to go to him run to him fall down at his feet and confess our sins that's always a better outcome it it repentance isn't as long or as hard without that individuals you know who are swallowed up by the earth thinking about the thousands of the time of Moses you know when they do the golden calf and and worshiping idolatry
after all of the miracles and deliverance from Egypt and a thousands are swallowed up by the earth well Heavenly Father just saying well you can work out your repentance in the spirit world I mean I we know that there's repentance in the spirit world but we also know it may be more difficult there without a willingness in this life in our physical bodies of being able to go to God and say I need I need help and I acknowledge my my
sins before thee that always speeds up the process of repentance there's lots of ways we can get to the process of confessing but it's always better when it's voluntary and when it's done out of humility and it's done out of a broken heart contrite spirit and I actually think Scott it's better when it's after we know that we're forgiven right of our sins because we've cried out yeah and we've offered our whole soul to God but oftentimes
and probably maybe even most of the time in the church confession is the beginning point for some individuals they go to the church and and maybe through a church membership or through some some counsel counsel of love maybe even in chastisement a bishop helps a youth or an adult or whoever to to understand the seriousness of their sins and understand the mostly the pain and suffering of Jesus Christ on that individuals behalf I mean that's
ultimately what leads to a broken heart contrite spirit is is not me getting caught that's not broken heart contrite spirit but it's what have I what's the pain and suffering I caused my savior and my redeemer so a bishop can help with that for sure confession to the church is critical confession to God is even more critical and then there's a third part that's confessing to others confessing to others who we have heard there's a step of re of addiction recovery in there.
Yes step number nine made direct men's to such people whenever possible except when to do so would injure them or others which comes after step eight which is when we make the list of all persons we have harmed and become willing to make amends to them all Nick talked about that in our in the podcast that we did a couple of weeks ago with him you know where he that's when he said he really felt and I'm paraphrasing that's where he really
felt that the understood and understood the atonement of Jesus Christ working in his life because of the suffering that he goes through. Anyway that sounds like step nine is something of a confession and restitution maybe something of a step that combines those two manifestations of repentance.
Yeah well and then there's a step four which is the confession actually step five is the confession step four is when we take a personal inventory to seek a moral and fearless inventory of our lives and we do that in every aspect of our lives.
And what's step five and then step five is when we share that when we share it okay well so that's more the confession that's the step nine maybe a little more restitution but but confession to others is really important to those that we have hurt right and and I think sometimes Scott it's it's easy for all of us natural man to downplay that our sins only hurt us we say that's that's the lie yeah they are right that's the great lie of Satan
that my sins are only hurting me I can sin in a closet or I can sin in the dark and I'm the only one that being that's being hurt by this wow what a great lie that is we all know that personally I think I hope that we've all learned that personally because you cannot you cannot ever sin in a bubble all of our sins whatever they are done in private wherever in the middle of nowhere all by yourself hurts the whole world the whole world becomes a
little less righteous the and the family the spouse every the church is weakened you cannot sin in a bubble our sins if we become sinful we hurt all of our relationships all that we know everyone that we know is affected by that when we become less of a a man or woman of God than we should be and I just think it's it's really easy to underplay this part of confession so we need to confess to others others that we have heard or damaged
we also have to be really careful about that and this is discussed in the elder Anderson's book because confession to others may actually cause more harm or damage than good so one has to be so wise and led by the spirit in this process because I don't think you want to confess everything to others if it may be more hurtful to them than it is healing to them and I'm not saying that this is a really sensitive subject yeah very and one has to
be really spirit directed by it and I don't think there's I don't think that we can prescribe or describe any specifics of this or rules that is absolutely an individual process is you know we talk about that even in a you know because so often alcoholics and addicts who are in the process of working through the steps and they get to step nine love the loophole except when to do so would injure them or others you know yeah so you know that
has to be done with you know why is that a loophole well because they'll say well you know what does it mean to hurt somebody first of all you know does it you know am I going to hurt my mom and dad's feelings if I tell them that I've been stealing drugs out of their medicine cabinet you know and you know and so they'll use that as an excuse to not confess not confess okay you know and so you know it's really important that if we're gonna
err that we err on the side that we over rotate towards the side of precaution there but but we we can see that as a opportunity for us to deepen our relationship with Heavenly Father to deepen our communion with him and even if it is through a priest and leader to do that because sometimes sometimes that that can be an issue that people are like well I'd not hurt anybody and if I tell them it's just gonna hurt them worse and but but but
these are the types of things that also the accuser can can work his way into any of these processes and taint our view if we are not constantly as we have talked about in the past if we are not constantly going back to the garden going back to the cross going back to the tomb and being there with him it's through that relationship with him that we will receive those answers and being led by this by the Holy Ghost through that and and
that's another reason maybe sometimes to go to a priest and leader is to receive some counsel on that I remember as a bishop it was so personal and individual and I would sometimes have youth come in and confess their sins and I would encourage them to go see their to discuss it with their parents you know that that and I could and I knew that I could trust those parents and that that would be a positive experience for those parents
and there were other times when individuals would come in this would be more rare where individuals would come in and confess their sins and I would say don't tell your parents or sometimes even in between where I would say we need to tell your parents and I think it would be better if we told them in my office so that I'm with you when you tell your parents this was based somewhat on the experience I had as a seminary teacher when one night
very late at night I was awakened by someone knocking hard at my door ringing my doorbell then and me getting up getting dressed and there's there stands a seminary student of mine on my porch and she's weeping and I invite her in and my wife comes down and she tells us about how she had just confessed to her bishop that night her sins and her bishop at counselor to go home and tell her parents and her dad being a former bishop he thought he could
trust him and how that that when she went home and confessed her sins or dad beat her up well that's that's I know that's probably so rare but that happens and sometimes confessing a sin to a parent can backfire confess confessing a sin to others may backfire if if it damages or or could ruin perhaps that relationship so one has to be I again there's no I'm not prescribing or describing any rules on this but one has to really be led by the spirit on this so the confessing
to others is important but how it's done the timing the timing of its really critical scots it all has to be spirit led but that's an important part and especially you know when we have when we have heard others when we have directly heard others that's that's just so important there's there were sometimes when as a MTC president individuals would come in and confess sins to me and where they had stolen things from certain individuals and and in order to help them
I would I would either direct them to write a letter and sometimes there were even a few phone calls made where individuals there at the missionary training center could confess their sins by back then it was snail mail now it'd be by email or maybe even a conversation with someone trying to confess their sins to the individuals who they had stolen from or who they had heard or or to try to repair certain relationships because of the of the sins that had been committed I think that's
just really an important part of what confession can mean in certain sins one of the things that I've run into especially in the rooms of recovery is there are so many sins there are so many things that should be confessed there are so many things that one has done and they don't even know where to begin that they see this big huge stack in front of them and it seems absolutely insurmountable yeah and that can be a real deterrent to progress you know people can see that and just see see that
as a I just can't confess it all there's just yeah what's the use I'll never be able to work through it and you know what would you say to somebody like that Dave well I had that happen you know the MTC individuals coming in I've had it happen as a bishop I've seen it as a member of a stake presidency in church disciplinary councils and I would just say by small and simple things great things come to pass and one's one starts with with where you can work you just
have to start and and actually what's really interesting Scott with with with individuals who have who have been in a long pattern of sin is it can start really small which is great and then the they start out and the more the further they go into the repentance process and this is awesome this is not something that should be feared or discourage anyone from sinning because the closer you get from God from confessing the closer you get to him the more
aware of sins that you've committed that you've even forgotten about the closer you get to Jesus Christ the bigger sins can appear and even ones that have disappeared from your life because of the progression of your sins and it takes it sometimes takes a long time for it's not just a one-time confession as a bishop or a priest leader works with individuals the more that may come out but that's part of the healing confession can also be used negatively confession can be
used to manipulate others confession can sometimes in and of itself be evil because we are told to confess the only two the church if it's serious enough certain serious sins and confess to the Lord and confess to those who we have directly hurt that's it we are not to confess our sins to everybody and their dog we are not to stand up over the pulpit as I've heard done and too shocking to to even state this on this podcast but people standing up confessing their sins over
the pulpit because that's what they thought they should do or they were looking for sympathy or they were looking for I don't know what they were looking for but false sense of relief by confessing to everyone and there are so many young adults who do that when they when they go on dates the first thing they do is they ask have you ever done this or have you ever done that and they find some sort of weird strange relief or connection by confessing their sins to each other which just
leads to Satan coming into that relationship and destroying it in a hurry because people will now see that individual because Satan won't let them forget it and Satan will every time they think of that individual bring up those sins and and what was confessed and I'm telling you Scott I've known of engagements that have been broken tweet relationships that have been destroyed because of people confessing their sins that
they did not need to confess to others if one is not currently sinning not in a current addiction not or has not been in prison or jail or convicted or been in a situation that's going to affect another individual that individual they're with or that individual they have a relationship with if there's not any sort of history that's going to affect that individual negatively they have no business confessing their sins to that individual because if I know of divorces that have taken
place because couples begin to just want to know everything about the person's past and when somebody has been forgiven by God then who am I to demand that they be forgiven by me if I know nothing about it I we just have to be really wise prudent about who we confess our sins to and especially young adults should not waste their time on asking about what's an individual has done in the back in the past or confessing what they themselves have done in the past
to build relationships of trust because that that will really either lead to more sin or it will lead to a broken relationship I just we need to be really careful about who we confess to and it needs to be to God and it needs to be the individuals who we have hurt and it needs to be to the bishop or the the judges of Israel who have priesthood keys and the gospel of repentance who can help us through the process and beyond that
when in doubt go without next time we'll talk about we didn't get to forsaking which dnc 58 42 and 43 kind of includes by this you may know if man has repented of his sins he will confess them and forsake them we've talked about confessing them next time we'll talk about what it means to forsake them as we invite our heavenly father spirit into our lives and we see these things as they're intended to be seen by him that the invitation come unto me
will ring true to all of us because it really is through repentance that we come onto him thanks for being with us we look forward to being with you again next week until then be well