S2E2: Premium Dead Forever

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Red Valley is intended for mature audiences and contains scenes some listeners may find distressing. Please go to redvalleypod.com for full content warnings on every episode. Do you want to continue?

Are you recording this as well? Oh, yeah, if that's okay. Yes, it's fine. Can you carry this? Oh, sure. Sure. Bryony, is it just you? Yes. Oh, right. I just thought... Well, maybe it was time. It is time. Grace and Pamela are following on tomorrow. Oh, great. So we... I mean, you're going to... well, to wake him up? If he's still in one solid peace, yes, that's the plan. Oh, great.

Is my room made up? The quarters in the base? Yes. Unless you'd like the farmhouse. Are you still staying in the farmhouse? Yes. My quarters will be fine. So, how have you been? Oh, um, fine. I had a lot to learn. And a lot of time. Everything's up and running, I assume? Yes, yes, yes. I have a rotor I made. Making sure I go through each area systematically every other day. And the archiving, how is that going? It's a mammoth task. There's so much, and it's so disorganised.

Every time I think I've found a starting point, something else terrifying and horrible pops up. I mean, fascinating. Fascinating. I'm sure a lot of it is terrifying and horrible to the uninitiated Gordon. However, you are initiated, aren't you? I suppose I am. So, you're not having any problems with it? The suffering and the viscera and the blood and so on? No. No. Excellent. Look.

You've been working hard and I've had a long trip, so I thought we might do something fun tonight. I'm sorry? Fun. Something I think you'll enjoy. Oh, um, sure. Great. I'm going to unpack and get changed and I'll see you in the cryo suite at 7. Shall I? The cryo suite? Wear something comfortable. Oh. And then just leave it there. You'll need your hands. Oh, okay. Yep. Blue Sky, are you recording this? Recording. Good. Help me with this. We need a bit of welly. Right. I think we're ready.

Sorry, I... What are we doing? Do you know the name Lord Conrad Havisher? Of course you don't. He was the founder of the Havisher Dairy Empire in Devon and Cornwall. Mainly famed for yoghurt. The yoghurt lord of the southwest. Right. Anyway, in his later years, he cultivated a handsome tumor the size of a cherry in his temporal lobe and promptly made arrangements with an American cryonics company called Cold State. Ghastly name, no wonder it didn't last.

Cold State was hoovered up by Wheelhouse and was absorbed into Overhead in 1998. And so Overhead took responsibility for Cold State's remaining residents, including the Yogurt Lord. And he's in here. Shrewdly observed. We can't just open him up. Surely we have to... I mean, there must be processes. You need your team. We're not waking him up, Gordon. We're not? He's very dead. But you'll be exposing him to the elements. You'll compromise this cryostatic field, or not. That's fine, I suppose.

You will not have heard of the Havisher Dairy Empire in recent years because Conrad Havisher was simultaneously one of the world's leading optimists and narcissistic bastards. So convinced was he that medical breakthroughs that could return him to health and prosperity were just around the corner, he had his mind and body chronically frozen after his demise and refused to name an heir to his company and fortune.

Obviously that sat rather poorly with both his shareholders and customers, and the company duly tanked. I believe they still make rocket lollies. Okay. Jeremy Havisher is the long-suffering eldest son of Lord Conrad, and as you might imagine, has grown somewhat impatient for his father's resurrection.

He approached us recently after his lawyers spotted a little addendum to Conrad's contract with Cold State that every 15 years the company was obliged to carry out a check-up to make sure the body was still perfectly preserved and that nothing had gone wrong with the storage process. The date of that 15-year check-up is? Today. Correct. But I've read how you would survey a chronic patient's body.

They would need to be constantly immersed in liquid nitrogen while you expose parts of the body for the absolute minimum time necessary. We've just exposed his whole body. We've increased the risk of crystallization on the refreeze by an unacceptable amount. Gordon, your study is admirable, but your concern is quite misplaced. His son has paid my department a considerable amount to ensure the results of this analysis are...

Decisive. You're killing him. Gordon. No, I know. He's dead. But any chance in the future that... Let's disabuse ourselves of some notions regarding chronic preservation, and far more relevantly, death. Here's the thing about death. It's death. You can read every clickbait fluff piece from New Scientist about the incremental stages of it, cell death, brain death, and how we might slow those down, theories of how you could one day stop them altogether. Some of them might even make some sense.

But not to the yogurt lord. He had a grade four inoperable hand grenade go off in his head the same year last of the Mohicans came out, and the process he paid so much for left quite a bit to be desired. Look at his eyes. Go on. Oh, they're not even closed. You can see the buildup of ice on his corneas. They're done. Look at his skin. Oh, crumbs. Crumbs, flakes, chips, lumps. Oh, he's a mess.

But go back to the tumour, the mind and body destroying cancer. We have to keep him immaculately preserved, bring him back to life, cure cancer, and then rebuild his rotten brain. His spine, his nervous system, everything else that turned black and killed him. You might as well try to rebuild a tree after you've lit a bonfire from its branches. It's fast. I can't see the future, but I can tell you this.

Every person that has so far been chronically preserved is never, ever, ever coming back in any form whatsoever. They're just a higher class of dead. Premium dead, if you will. And they'll be premium dead. Forever. Except for Warren. Except for Warren. Would you like to cut his head off? I'm sorry?

Well, not his whole head. I never like to waste an opportunity to look at someone's brain, and Jeremy Havisher seems to harbour a medieval resentment for old Conrad, so he made a request for a little piece of evidence. Not his whole head, of course. Just the brain. So, would you like to help me scalp him? Trepan him, maybe? Ooh, let's see what bad spirits come out, shall we? Um...

You can't hurt him, Gordon. He was dead before Tom Hanks won his first Oscar. And by all accounts, an utter prick. The sore is funny. Okay. Just there. And there's an ice crystal. You can reach it with those forceps. There. Slippery, aren't they? Automatic lock-in. You won't make it to the crystal dome. Aha! Success! Bit of a puddle forming now, isn't it? Yes, it thaws quicker than you might expect. Not everyone can look at a real human brain, much less dissect one.

It's why we're out here in the middle of nowhere. Why so many great discoveries are made in rooms without windows. Because of everyone else's boundaries. That's why Clive and I differ so much on how to use the technology once I've perfected it. He would wrap it in a bow and present it to the elites, sell it as a luxury, the ultimate lifestyle choice. Do you want to continue? But people won't buy it.

Because people can't take it. If they could, we wouldn't be sent to the edge of the world. We'd be at Overhead New York in a glistening research resort designed by Norman Foster. You have to be gentle. That's why I want it introduced through the penal system. Revolutionize the incarceration process. Save an industry billions and the tech is proven as economically viable.

That viability is crucial of course, but not where the true value lies. It's acceptance that we need. Start at the bottom of the societal ladder and you'll catch everyone on the way up. Once the technology is commonplace, it'll take on a life of its own. Everyone will want their peace. Clive will get his luxury hypersleep cryopod range with tinted glass and go faster stripes and can take all the glory he wants. I don't care.

You don't want the glory? People like us will be in the only place we're welcome. Back in the basement. Ah, you still object to the us, don't you? You and... Clive and whoever else. We're killing people. Speak up, Gordon. People are dying in this place. No, you said you're killing people. And you're right. Yes, I am. I'm killing people.

Everyone who has died in this facility on my watch has had the situation and the risks explained to them in explicit detail. And they consented. I know. I've listened to the tapes. That's because they were criminals. carrying out enormous sentences and you offered them things you surely couldn't deliver. Pardons, appeals, early release, if the experiments were successful.

You went to the hopeless and the desperate and the mentally unwell or incapacitated or disadvantaged. You knew the likely outcome. And the deviant and the disgusting and the despicable. And where was Warren on that list? You've seen his record. You must have seen everything we have on him. What do you think? You haven't, have you? I didn't think it was right to look when he doesn't seem to know himself. Or because you were scared of what you might see. What you might learn about your friend.

What do you want me to do with this guy's brain? What's that Godby family motto that's been floating around these tapes? You should only do what you know you can live with. What a bizarre concept. earth would anyone find out what they're capable of if they only did what made them comfortable? It's about living to a code. You just cut a man's head in two with a buzzsaw and spooned out his mind. If you'd known that this morning, how would that have sat with your code?

I don't know. You just did something extraordinary. Something you never would have done of your own volition. All you needed was the push. Yes, we're in an ugly place doing ugly work, but we're creating something. Something real. Something worthwhile. I think you know that and all I'm trying to tell you is that that's okay. That there is a place for the Gordon Porlocks of this world. And you managed to find it.

There's a pretty big difference between performing an autopsy on a cadaver and the things you've done. You must see that. Is that what you believe or what you've been told to believe? I don't even know what that means. So, I should only listen to you? No, Gordon.

The worst thing about Red Valley is also the best. Here, the only person you have to listen to is yourself. There's nobody else around. You should do a TED talk. Did this work on Grace and Pamela? And Aubrey Wood and... Ben Thomas? For the most part. Well then, let's do another, shall we? I think I'm done for that. I insist. No, really, I... Just a peek, then. Oh, Jesus Christ!

Yes, funny you should mention Ben Thomas. You may remember him from such incidents as it's on the floor, oh god it's in my shoes, general lechery, and ultimately the misguided breaking of certain contractual agreements. Did you ever meet him face to face?

I? In your years of skullduggery around the basements of Overhead, Ben must have been one of your greatest sources. I never met anyone. I found everything myself. In places where they were left to be found, Gordon, I just wondered if either of them ever... reached out personally. Either of them? Where is Aubrey Woods? I don't know. Calm down. You knew we would ask you where you got all the information at some point. It wasn't all from a Buzzfeed article, I assume? Yeah, I never met her.

Or him. I only know what they look like because of CCTV footage. Everything was anonymous. We used aliases. It was all online. Those things left me in storage unique. Yes, I thought as much. You see, the Board of Directors live in cheerful ignorance of what happens at Red Valley and they go to great measures to make sure the rest of the world is just as blissfully unaware.

Given the chance, I would have liked to ask Ben here what he did with all our information, what his intentions were, but it was Clive who found him in the end. It was a short exchange, I hear. He thought I could make some use of him, though. What do you think, Porlock? Has he been useful? Yes. Oh, good. I cannot abide waste. Blue Sky, what's the time? The time is 12.17am. It is late, I suppose. Off you go. Thank you. No one is useless Gordon. They just need to find their place.

Hi, Pam. Gordon, stand behind the door unless you want your sperm to be vaporized. I doubt there's much to risk there. Screening. Okay, I'm saving that, dumping the rest. You can come in now. Morning. I made teas and coffees. There's biscuits too. I know it's early, but big day and everything. There's a dirty filter light flashing on the wall over there. Is everything okay with the ventilation in here? Oh, um, well, I think so. Then why is it flashing?

Oh, no, I'm not. That's not my... Well, go and look. It's not his job, Grace. He wouldn't know what he was looking at. He's a caretaker. He's supposed to take care. Thank you for the coffee, Gordon. Is it fresh or instant? It's instant. I brought fresh with me. It's on the counter in the kitchen. Go. Go and make some up, please. He is not your bloody manservant. He's like Igor from the Frankenstein book.

I bet he swings an oil lamp around these corridors at night, talking to himself. Igor isn't in the book. What did you say to me? Igor? He was invented for the film adaptations. He wasn't in the novel. Are you stupid? Why don't you spend less time talking shit about monster books and more time making my fucking coffee, Igor? You know he's recording this, right? You are not, are you? Yeah.

Why didn't you tell me? That's literally his job. Bryony asked him to do it. But I didn't keep it recording already. We're in the middle of emergence prep. If anything, he's late. If you're worried about sounding like an idiot on record, there's an easy way to solve that. That isn't there. Oh, it's like working under the bloody stars. Well, now, that's on tape as well, isn't it? Morning, everyone. Morning. Morning, Dr. Halbeck. Ah, you made drinks. How kind of you.

Have you been to bed? No, there's always too much to do before an emergence. Particularly one that might actually work. Aubrey Woods said something in one of her incredibly earnest diaries, didn't she? How can you sleep when all you're thinking about is waking someone up? Pam, where's the echo? Echo or ECMO?

ECHO, the T-O-E. The ECMO is right in front of me. It's four feet long and nearly as big as the suitcase you brought with you this morning. It would be disturbing if I couldn't see that, wouldn't it? I didn't think we needed it now. I want it checked and set up now. Yes, Dr. Halbach.

Thank you, Dr. Jennings. Grace? Yes? Do you have the readout from the particle generator? Oh, I thought you were happy with the results, so I didn't think you... I was. I'd like to maintain that happiness with a current readout. Yes, I can. Yes. We're working on the first successfully revived subject of cryonic preservation. I'm not the head chef at the local carvery and grill. Yes, Dr. Halbeck. Yes, chef. I can feel your questions radiating through your cardigan. What's a particle generator do?

We have to infuse each of Warren's IV lines with nanoparticles. It's what I spent most of the night doing, actually. What on earth do nanoparticles do? Once we activate the particle generator, a magnetic field will be created within the cryopod and the particles will start to warm up.

and eventually we'll have a nice warm human marinating in a fine cryonic jus. Does it get boring putting cryo in front of everything you invent? Like you wouldn't cryo-believe. What's an ECMO do? Re-oxygenate the body. And what's a TOE? A probe that goes down the oesophagus to map the heart. What's that in the corner? That's a dehumidifier. There's damp on the ceiling. Are we going to go around the room pointing at everything you don't understand? That's probably fine for now.

What do you think of them, Grace and Pam? Oh, um, they seem very slick. Not my choice. Either of them. Clive picked them with his vast knowledge of trionic biology and emergency medicine. Rather more aesthetic choices, both of them. Aesthetic? The gracious Malay has a name like a finishing move in Street Fighter. He's very tall, he's very young, he looks like an Abercrombie and Fitch model.

Pamela Jennings has two PhDs and looks like Buffy the Vampire Slayer. They are adequate in their fields but not exceptional. Clive believes the hard work is over and he wants the right faces to get on the front of Time magazine. And how do I feel about Time magazine, everyone? You do not care for it. Print media is basically dead anyway. Yes, chef. Yes, chef. This is making you uncomfortable, isn't it, Gordon? Everything here makes me uncomfortable. Keep telling yourself that, champ.

Right, everyone, it's the day you've all been waiting for. Before we push the big red button, I'd like to thank you all for your hard work so far. You're all committed, and whatever else might be said about any of you... Commitment is the attribute I require the most. You may think due to our previous success that our subject's survival is somehow more of a sure thing. Let's remind ourselves of the mortality rate up until this point. It's 100%.

Do we know for certain exactly why Warren Godby is the only survivor of our treatment? We do not. So, whatever we scoop out of that pod, alive or dead, the work is just beginning. That said, there is champagne in the fridge and we will be drinking it tonight, whatever happens. I'm not a monster. All right, beautiful people. And you, Gordon? Get to your places. Final checks. Particle generator. Check. ECMO. Check. Recess. Check. Transfer. Check. Okay. Hot.

Dog! Jumping fog! Alphaca! Stop! Would you like me to play the next entry, Aubrey? I remember that. She would say that a lot, the Albuquerque line. It was probably the most human thing I ever witnessed her doing.

Would you like me to play the next entry, Aubrey? Surprising. To get that on record. Her facade coming down like that, even just a little. I only saw it once or twice. And never for long. But she just... couldn't help herself under all the cloaks and daggers and bluster and put downs she couldn't hide her excitement about the work it was magnetic i wanted to be like her

You are also waking Warren Godby from hypersleep. Yeah, thank you, God. We'll stop drawing comparisons there, shall we? Her reasons for waking him could not be further from your intentions. You want to help him. Well, that's... That's a kind thing for you to say. It's nice to be nice. What's everyone done today? Is it still today? Or is it tomorrow? You'd like a progress report? Yes.

Vig and Robin have completed and logged the supply inventory. Hester worked beyond the end of her shift on the ward due to Jacob having a disagreement with Malcolm. Malcolm required sedation. really and jade has been putting together a playlist for her party she's really going through with it grace has been carrying on with incoming from the quarantine suite patching

Hey, are you still up? I'm here, Hester. Of course you are. Well, if you insist on living nocturnally, could you at least come down here and help me? Warren's pulled out his drip again. Put another one in. I had actually thought of that, sir. He hasn't got any bloody veins left. Hey, no, don't. Stevie, watch out. He's gonna put up... Here. Well, that's what happens. Put some gloves on next time.

He pulled out his catheter again, didn't he? You're going to be able to kick a football down his urethra if he carries on like this. I'll be there in a sec. Gord, you're meant to be in all places at all times. Why didn't you tell me they were struggling down there? We were having a valuable moment of reflection. I swear to God. People only ever pull out their own IV lines because they see people do it in movies. It's so annoying. Is that why he pulls out his catheter? Shut up.

I can find no motion pictures that feature the forced removal of catheters. Shut up! Red Valley was written by Jonathan Williams and directed by Alan Mandel. All music and editing by Richard Orpheus Campbell, with sound design by Alexander Broad and Richard Orpheus Campbell. Carol Pestridge was assistant director. Performances by Alan Mandel as Gordon Pawlock, Mae Cunningham as Brian E. Halbeck, Tash Reith-Banks as Aubrey Wood, Susan Hingley as Hester Hiyashi, Dayon Broney as De Gracious Mele,

and Rachel Fowler as Pamela Jennings, with Alan Mandel as Gord and Natalie Day as Blue Sky. Thanks for listening. The Fable and Folly Network, where fiction producers flourish. The holidays mean more travel, more shopping, more time online, and more personal info in more places that could expose you more to identity theft.

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