T.I. and Tiny: Back from the Brink of Divorce (Part 2)

guys went through something like that, that's excruciating. Yes, and that's actually what brought us back together from prison. When I got back, everything the world was upside down to their very public marriage problems. I never ever ever had sex with anyone while we've been married. I have never ever ever lied about this. You came back. I want to know why we're talking surviving the ups and downs of marriage. This conversation, this problem is the exact same

thing Will and I had to work through. Y'all have been together for what it's been a black Tell me about it. T I Harris is a three time Grammy winning rapper, actor, and TV star. He and his wife Tiny Harris a singer with a popular group Escape Tied the Knot in a secret ceremony in two thousand and ten and have been together for close to two decades. They have three children plus four from previous relationships. The couple has faced their share of problems, including TIS time

in prison, public feuds, and infidelity. Things came to a head in seventeen when Tiny filed for divorce a second time. But today t I and Tiny have reconciled and they're here to share their journey towards forever. The reason why I love you guys, it's because you've been through it and you've survived. So you were together for ten years and then decided to get married. What was the decision

where we had some thoughts and stops? You know, Well, actually we're supposed to get married in two thousand seven. Originally I don't remember that. Oh we were playing the whole wedding. Don't remember. Oh you don't remember. I don't remember playing in the wind, and I don't remember that, but to pretend everybody I don't remember. Well, anyway, that didn't work out. You know, we had my fault, probably probably quite that is, you see, that is the assumption

when we learned in counselor it takes two people. Well they say that, but I really feel like sometimes it takes one, because one person could be like they're dealing Winn and Dealer Winn and Dela Winn and still trying to make things work, and the other person can be just doing that it. I tend to listen to the experts. So two thousand and seven, yes, it didn't work out,

and we also lost a baby. And around that time, to hear that, I didn't know that, Yeah, yeah, that actually makes me really sad in the in the idea of knowing that you guys actually went through something like that, and that's actually what brought us back together. It seemed like every time we tried to break up, somebody dad. That's true. We had a very tumultual year. That year we lost the baby, and I believe not too long after that I caught my case. Yeah, it was a

roller coaster. It was a rocky year. After your first case is when it was like, Okay, you're gonna marry me A not right. I've been a good woman, been in the house waiting on you to get out with out of jail man. You hear this kill I got to be honest with you, I mean, but just speaking honestly and truthfully, since this is a safe place. Yeah, I really did feel that at that point in my life, if I didn't get married in I was never gonna

get married. And my daddy died without being married. And the thing he told me before he died was find somebody to share your life with. Now, you just said something very important right there. Having somebody to share your life with. That's what it's all about, you know, because she can go out and and find fun anywhere, you know, and so could I. But I don't want to start them. I ain't got time. I'm impatient now, stuck in my ways. Love me and leave me alone. I know that you

guys went through a really tough time. You put divorce papers twice. Yeah, the first time we can get him to get the papers. To listen, they got a job to do. They got a job, dude, I got a job. You couldn't catch it. People, people, I'm not gonna do your job. She kept calling me, saying, when you please, let these people get you the paper for what? Let them do their job. They got addresses, they know what. I'm your job, all right. So they finally got his

papers and y'all were living separate lives. There was a whole lot of stuff in the press, a lot of back and forth on Twitter. Was it you had your quotes. You was quoting to see about how marriage steals a man's masculinity, and he says that it wasn't about I would never believe that. I have no reason to lie. I'm in a safe place. Yeah, I have no reason to Like, you don't want it. You won't own up to it. But you know what I owned up to. It was insensitive for you to put out such a

thing when you know the world it's watching. Sensitivity is left in the eye of the beholder because what I feel is sensitive may not be the same as what she feels sensitive. Right, So everybody has their own levels of Sif that's right. That's true. You know that is very true. Specifically an intimate relationships, that's true. After some so much time together, I would think that you would be a little bit more aware of her triggers. At let me tell you something. Can I just explain to

you haven't been with somebody for twenty five years? No, I know, but I don't hear about it. That's what I'm telling you. Whatever that business is. I don't hear him speaking on it so much. Hear him saying the things, Okay, you want the truth, you want to understand, or no, because it's better to know how someone feels. You could tell me, call me, call me, tell everybody public stuff.

I feel somewhat of a philosopher of sorts. So if there is a perspective that I feel is interesting that I would like to share are with people for the purpose of advancement of the generation, then I don't think that that is something that even if it goes against how would make your wife feel. You care about how they feel, your wife? No, not how they feel. No, no, no, no, this is about advantage. Want to teach them teaching. But at the same time, I believe at the very time

that that came out, my calls were blocked. I had no access to get to you, and I had been relieved of duty as the person who were responsible to be on site attending to her needs. And I've been relieved of duty. You see what I'm saying, So I can't play both positions. Well, of course you have. You been out with women all on the ground, so of course you think we both join ourselves what I'm saying, It's come from one thing. We both have been out there, okay,

but not as suctensis as yours. Who knows it's okay. Let would depend on that once because I actually think, I actually think that's an important piece. It actually is because you came from We don't come back to that, because I think this right here is an important piece. And I'm explained to you why I think it's important. I want to know what was the last straw for you that made you decide, because that's a big deal.

Tiny When I could not get him to respond, nothing was working, and he was just like, you know, I'm gonna move how I want to move. This is something that we always go back and forth about it all the time. But the second time I came home from prison. So the first time I came over from prison, we got married. I didn't do a honeymoon because I was on my way back to prison again. And that time, I believe, see, I have relationship from nineteen years ago was kind of built on I guess the principles of

practice of us being together all the time. We were a huge part of each other's lives. When I went to prison, I guess she felt like, well, now I have to figure out what I'm gonna do because I don't have you here to continue the protocols and the practices that we have established in the fundamental stages of this relationship. So when I got back, the world was upside down. She kind of had an air like my time,

you know what I'm saying. I thought we were just gonna hit the ground ready and to to get back to things being the way they were, And there was a ah an acclamation period that I had to make it through, and me just coming back and not being in the position that I was in, it left me feeling lesser than so I had to go and figure out ways to make myself feel proper and adequate again, and that led to things that led to things that led to

things You had your say. I'm what he's trying to say is I went and I found my own voice. He was used to saying Okay, no, we're doing this, We're moving this way, and I were like okay. But when he came home he said we're moving this way and I'm like, well, no, I got used to do and he's like, that's not the way. You know it wasn't what he was used to. He was used to controlling things and well having things his way at all times.

But once I got on my own two feet, I felt like I should have a voice too, and that voice, it was a little different from what he was used to. So that, to me, is what caused the issue. Wasn't because I'm just being outlandishly disrespectful, because if it recalls, excuse me, If you recalled, you cannot move, you cannot

go anywhere. I was still in the house like I was on probation, doing all the things, but because I had a voice that was not so timid, like, to me, this is my this is my perspect this is my outlook on it. I feel like she felt like it's not the woman I left, and this is not what I want. I want somebody that if I tell her this, she's gonna listen and she's gonna do this the way I want her to do it. And that's where he went. He want to find him somebody that he can be like, hey,

don't move, let's do that, and then excuse me. I was not you know what I'm saying. I understand, I understand. Okay, this is the thing it's not about your voice. Okay, go out there and you get the voice and wanted to be loud as you wanted to be. However, you must know how to use that voice. Now, the fact that you may have muted yourself you no, no, no, no, no no. You could have always said whatever it is

you wanted to say. Even if that led to me saying, well, you know what, this ain't for me, then that is a decision that you Wait a minute. That is a decision and a sacrifice that a woman must be willing to make for that voice. Wait a minute, let me finish. I didn't interrupt you, okay. I never told you you couldn't say. I told you I had my list of how I wanted things to go, and you said, okay,

wait a minute. Okay. So when you were not okay with it anymore, which is understandable, you changed your mind or whatever happened, I went to prison. That calls you to, you know, explore different parts of your voice. You can't use that voice to try to go against me. We're supposed to be together, and that, to me, I felt like it was Maybe it was because it was so new to you. Maybe you had learned how to control

it Actually wasn't new to me. It was just that I gave it up because you know, you have to excuse me, when you have a man that says, don't work, don't this. I wanted to do this. I want to take care of your thing. There's something hidden behind that to me. To me, I feel like when a man wants to they want to be your all, your end and all you know, to be all. Then that means you have a less of a chance to say I'm moving this way or I'm going this way. You see

what I'm saying. When a man completely takes control, takes care of you, you don't have a lot of sake because you are dependent on this made so for a long time because you didn't want me to work, I pretty much gave up, you know, not trying to sing anymore, not trying to do a new I never stopped an escape album. No excuse me, there was no escape. But you know, there was other things that I want to do in music, and you asked me to that work,

and you was gonna take care. I said, well, I got my mama do this and take care of all of it. And he did, he did, and so you agree that. But sometimes once when you agree to something, then you realize that it doesn't really work for you. Sometimes you have to experience something because you think you want to do it because you want to be an

agreement with people. She loves you. Let me just say this, this conversation, this problem is the exact same thing Will and I had to work through, just exact it is exact same thing. She felt like she lost herself right in supporting Will and his dreams and his career and the idea that he had of what their relationship was

going to be. I'm listening to both of you, and you both have a point, yes, So I'm saying this to say that I completely understand where you're at, Tip, and I hear you completely understanding right, because you're coming from two different perspectives, and that's always going to be the case. It's just about getting the understanding. And she was trying to get her power back. And yes, I could see how for you it could have seemed very

offensive because it is new for her. She is trying to figure it out because it's it wasn't something that she had practiced with for a while. So in her putting her practice in you have some bumps in the road, right, But it didn't mean that she didn't love you. And I completely understand how you felt just getting out of jail and you needing a certain kind of like, I get it. It just so happened that in your journeys you were in two different places. This is the irony

with that. When a man cannot provide for his family, he's the less of a man. But if a man provides everything, he's being controlling. Let me just say this, and tiny you correct me if I'm wrong, but I want you to just let me know if we're on it, if we're on the same page. Yes, we do relinquish a lot of our power. Two and then that we've given our lives too. And at first I gave it

all over, and then I realized, oh, that's working. And you get just a little disappointed because you feel like I gave it all to you and you took it and you misused it. You stop listening to me. You're talking to Will right now. Where are you? So that's your first thought, that's correct. Then as you start coming into the understanding of yourself and your own power, you go, oh, man, Jada, it's your choice. Though, and he did the best he could. Yeah,

he did the best he could. And honor the fact that he wanted to m h. Honor the fact that he tried. But it takes it takes him whether to get there though, tip, And all I'm saying is, there's no reason to defend yourself. And there's no reason for

you to defend in yourself. Because here's the thing. When I see the two of y'all, ain't nothing but love right here, this right here, and I can see that you guys, you're working through and I just want you to know, just from the experiences that I've had, like there's no right or wrong here. This is true. Then let me tell you you didn't do nothing wrong. You didn't do nothing wrong. And you know what else we have to release in our relationships, that power struggle, that ego.

Yeah she got, she got more than there. No, no, no, no, okay, let's just say changing of one's mind. I understand that in life all things would change. However, it is way more possible for women to change their mind in the midst of permanent decisions than it is for men. Men can't change win sign no prenup. But I ain't had no manity and I change my mind? How about we get a prenup. I'm saying you can't do that, can't you know? Because he's already been built, you see, So

life has been built. The expectations of this thing don't work out. Fifty in the middle of those are expectations, expectations of This is what I can expect from this relationship, in this marriage. So if one thing changes, why can't other things change too? Why is it just women can change their mind? But me, me and a star always that aspect of your life is no longer just yours that you're trying to put a pre nup on? What

about because yours? Gonna roll? Said said that? But I'm just saying if we change in minds, when we change man, well, what can the man change his mind about about? That is a better way to ask that question. What can the man change his mind about? To wear the same way? The woman said, I want you to do this, and I agreed to this, but now I've changed my mand what can the man do? So let me ask you this, what changed that you decided not to take her up

on that divorce? You change something in your mind? Okay, you did? Yeah, all right, so we're gonna talk about what changed in your mind. Okay, y'all both run off and found y'all could have made lives. Everybody went out has some fun. Okay, well, let's talk about that. You could have gone out in the world and found yet another woman who could have come into your life and been like, oh, Tip, I'm just here for you what you want. You're lying, you're lying, your lying your life,

but I'm gonna enjoy it. One Okay, okay, that's fine. So but but here's but I didn't stick it through with not one. But you came back. I want to know why, because you discover no no, no, no, no, no, no no, what did you discover out there? Tip? Because yes, she's the love of your life. But you went and you I discovered absolutely nothing. Did you discover like, all right, this is fun, but this ain't my life. I discovered this woman don't have my kids. This is the woman

I want. This is where I have had the best times of my life. There are jokes and memories and things that we share that no one else are a part of or are involved with, and nobody could would ever be able to even if within my thirty nine. Now, if I were to start to date, I'd have to be fifty nine sixty years old before. I don't want to wait that long to have this level of a connection. And I think that you know, it's very rare where you are able to be married to the best friends

you have and the best sex you've ever had. You know what I'm saying. So when you have those things two components, will you see what I'm saying that you don't? You just you don't just toss that away in the negotiation and any deal, business or otherwise, never get what you deserve until you show you willing to walk away. So is that what it took for both of us? She showed she was willing to walk away. I think I got HRD you know, see things from a different

perspective because she saw that I was willing to walk away. Tiny, What made you decide to take the divorce papers off the table? That's a big step. You can think about wanting to get a divorce, but actually going to a lawyer's office, get some papers drawn and hear her. Yeah, and what did make you decide that you didn't want to be divorced? It was you what changed? He changed? He came back and you changed. You changed, You came back as if you really wanted to work things out,

you really wanted the relationship. Like before, it was kind of like, oh, the grass is green over here, so that's what I'm doing until I guess you figured out it wasn't right. Well, it happing to do with the green grass. A lot of it has to do with it, you recall. I don't want to, I don't want to say, but obviously what brought you back because you were out having fun. And let's take on record, I never ever, ever, ever, on record, had sex with anyone other than you while

we've been married. Okay, well, I have never ever ever lied about this table talking. I'm not gonna do it. So that's that's the real you know what I'm saying. Like I've been out, You've seen me out with people. We've never had any sexual encounter any ever. So this is another thing that I feel right. So sex is one thing you did. What I'm saying. You can go at and you can create moments with people physically, but the combination of energies and the aura of this is

exclusive to Tip and to me. I don't care who she goes and be with. I don't care who I going be with. You can have a different energy, but it ain't gonna be this baby. That's true, and this is what I wanted though. I wanted the energy that I was used to. So let me ask you this tiny what is the thing that keeps you fighting for working at your relationship with Tip? For him, he's like, I don't want to start over. This is where it's at for me. I get to have my best friend.

I get to have the best sex I've ever had with my best friend. I get to have my family. Like, what is the thing for you? In regards to Tip? I think it's got to be a two way street. If he's definitely in tune and trying to work with me, didn't that keeps me motivated to fight? I see the emotion in your eyes. Oh know what that is? I mean,

it's just a lot of love, you know. Yeah? I really do feel that between you two, all the different machinations of everything that has transpired between you two, it's hard stuff to come back from, and you guys are doing it. I mean, I think that anything is possible as long as you have two people who really want to want you want to do both willing to fight, you know, and overcome the adversities. I think anything is possible. Did you guys go to counseling as well? Was that helpful?

Or we definitely went to canceling. I think canceling is amazing, right, I'm right? No, I I was right. He keeps saying it, just like did you find that you right from that? Like she was really on my team. Did you guys do counseling together? Yes, counselor she was amazing, she said, and listened to us, and she was like, oh, my lord, and I think we should go out. You know, even when things are going well, I love it. I love

to go. What would be the advice that she would have for couples that are going through it or considering divorce or just trying to stay together. What would be your words of wisdom? Both of you guys got to be willing to fight. I think counseling is also a great way to bridge things because you know, we can always see at at and where I'm gonna deal with him. He may we'll never see that. And she teld us different ways to deal with each other and talk to

each other. Communication skill skill trust, trust and letting old stuff. Absolutely, you know what I'm saying, and that's a good thing. Let the whole stuff go. Another thing that will help you is who do you think about when you have good news? And who do you think about when you're going through the toughest of time. That first person that you rather discuss and rather discuss it we shared with and talk to about. That's probably the person who whose

energy is most present in your life. Because I'd have been around people and got good news and didn't care to show any of it, right, you know, don't keep it to myself? Right, those are the things that you know that means something to me. I love you guys, this is my pleasure. I can't well. I'm glad I got a chance that many men have sat here. Hey r T Family. Join our Red Table Talk group on Facebook to become part of the conversation and be sure to follow the chap used to catch up on all

our episodes. Yes, all right, thank you again that you invite people here to This resort is a phenomenal resort. Can we get a bungalow? Can we book a bungalow? Yes? Any time, any time? Hey r T T Family. We are so excited to share something really special for the holiday season with you guys. We have a game called We're Not Really Strangers that will introduce to us that we all fell in love with and we're excited to

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