Surviving Addiction: A Path to Healing

the most entertaining people you will ever meet. You may recognize him from in Living color, dozens of movies, or a stand up but behind his laughter was a world of pain, one that I witnessed firsthand. And now he's come to the Red Table to tell us how he survived and thrived. He's a miracle. She shouldn't be here. What's up? Girl? Are you? Absolutely? Absolutely? Because we're just gonna go straight to the table. Don't start because I know you're about to. I'm about to take when you

sent the campas with me? God, is this the Red Table? This is the Red Table, Tommy After comedian Tommy Davidson has been a family friend for more than twenty years, and I wanted him to come to the Red Table to share his journey. It has been one of ultimate survival against all odds. Tommy, I'm glad to be here, glad to be there. Ye. Anticipating being here has been a little bit hard for me because talking about this stuff, I never did. You know. What's interesting is that I've

known your long time in aspect of your journey. That I didn't know was the beginning of your story. That you were found outside in trash. So it was an abandoned house. There's a woman she went in. There was nothing but kids in there, doing drugs and drinking. But when she was leaving, she said, something told me to look under this tire that was in a pile of trash next to the house. She said, When I moved

the tire, I saw your foot. When I moved to trash, you were laying there right, had a torn red shirt. I had contusions in my skull, like I've been hit and starved. And were you close to death? Yeah? They didn't think I was gonna live. I was in a coma. Who knows how long I've been there. Dirty the stranger who found baby Tommy in the trash was Barbara Gene Davidson, a mother of two. As he clung to life in the hospital, Barbara Jeane made a decision that would change

her life and his life forever. She adopted Tommy and brought him home. My mom was my hero. She was like the most fierce protector. He was welcomed by his new brother Michael and sister Borrow, born just thirty five days apart. Berlin Tommy were raised as twins and were inseparable. We shared a room until we were like fourteen. Brill is my rock. She's definitely my other half. They lived in an all white town. Tommy felt like he belonged from day one when she adopted you, this little black boy.

She's from wild How was it for the rest of her family bringing you into the fold. I never felt for one minute that I was different at all interesting. And you know, I learned my colors from the crayons, so I know brown brown was a brown cray and my sister was peach. I thought I was a brown one of whatever we were. Because I grew up on farms. The horse would have a colt. The horse could be a brown horse and have a black cult, you know.

Or a dog can be a brown dog or a white dog and have like a speckled one, have a brown one, have a white one. So I thought I was a brown one of whatever we were. My grandfather was the first one who started telling me about race. He was trying to prepare you. I was playing with my cowboys and Indians, and he said, I want you to know that the Indians of the heroes, you know, and I want you to know that all cowboys didn't kill Indians. I'm a cowboy, you know. And I was like, Okay.

One of the things that came out of my experience is that all white people are not the same. But when I got the d C, this is when we all changed. Because we moved into d C. During the riots, we king got shot and every day after school, grown white men were chasing me home. I would barely get in the house. How I was five people were throwing in our window, shooting, and that's the first time I heard the word nigger. It was crazy, and that really

heard me. Yeah, I mean that really really hurt me because I'm like, no, what am I supposed to do? Two sides or something? Yeah, I don't know anything about this, Like, what the hell? It was like a bomb went off in my brain and I was somewhere playing and They're going, get nigger, get them to white teenagers, chase me in. These big black dudes came out. White boys went the other way. And I've been black ever since. That was

the day. Yeah, that was the day. I was like, you know, they came out from nowhere, man, Man I said, yeah, Mike, I was said, man, I guess I am black. You know. Let me look at you, Let me look into this, Let me look into this, you know what I mean? Yeah, that was the moment that you that it stamped. That's really interesting that she moved the entire family too. I remember we moved there. We had our little radio and Ball of Confusion was playing. It could have been something

in a movie. And there's people moving in, people moving out. Yeah, yeah, all this color of the skin. Yeah, run run run what do do do? Do Do? Do? Do do do do? Ball of Confusion? I was like, where are we? Did she ever explain to you why she did that? She made sure that I was in the a black neighborhood, But for my brother and sister, it was hard. Yeah, I think deep inside my mother. You know she did that for me. You know, black girls want to drop my sister.

You know, I had to fight them. And at the same time I was like the hero of the neighborhood because I could sing really good, like really good ever since I was like five, So my mother would impress her friends. You asked me, come over here, put me on the table, take a spoon, put tend foil on it, put on chain, chain, chain, respect, put on saying loud, I'm black, and I'm proud, and you I'm doing a Mustang and and and and doing the pony and killing it.

I had sliding the family song, you know, get friends, clokes for different folks and so on and so on, and shoot be Dooby doo by Shy Shy where that lived go? You know what I mean? Him every different. It seems like you had the coolest white mom. Oh yeah, man, there there ain't there ain't no, there ain't no doubt about that. My mom said, Tommy, you have a way of putting things that makes people happy so fast that all they can do is laugh. But I never thought

it would lead to comedy. At two, Tommy went to an amateur Mike Knight for the first time and killed it. His career took off. Eventually, his talent caught the eye of the Wayands Brothers, landing him a coveted role on the iconic sketch series in Living Color. His dream of making it big was fun of coming true. He went on the Star and dozens of films and TV shows, But despite all the money, fame, and star treatment, Tommy was far from happy. Tommy and I did two movies together,

as you already know, Bamboozled and Will. Yeah, the first time that we worked together. And I really got to know you. On the set of Woo. I came out for a scene and you looked at me, and you were like, something's wrong with you? Like what you're talking about? Did she just get to work? You know, there's a million people around doing stuff, gammer action, you know, And and I said, ain't that wrong? And she said, rung wrong with you? And I was like to start the day.

She was like, nah, she said, come here, what's wrong with you? I said, my my mother contacting my real mother, and you know she was on the phone. I got a chance to talk to her, but I ain't gonna deal with that. She said, oh really, Okay, hold on, that's a wrap, everybody, that's the day. All right, you go deal with that all right later. And it led from our converse Asian to me finally meeting my biological mom. When he was thirty eight years old, Tommy met his

birth mother for the first time all my life. I was mad at her. I always would say, where are you? I had a lot of resentment and anger for her. Abandonedy, Tommy continued to channel his pain into his performances, and then drugs led him to a tragic tipping point in his life. In his book Living in Color, Tommy admits that his addiction undid everything he accomplished and nearly killed him one night at a girlfriend's house after oding on cocaine.

Paramedics rushed him to the hospital with no clothes on, strapped to a gurney. The fallout broken relationships with a string of women and four of his children. What was the thing that got you into the heavier stuff? The first time you get cocaine? I was sixteen. I gave it to me. Everybody had it right at all the time, and I said, Okay, I'm gonna try it. I was like, this is kind of dandy. Ain't nothing. I don't think nothing about it. And it just became one of the things,

one of the things. Yeah, no, it became the thing. It got really really bad. You know, I lost a marriage, a lot. You know, it was just it's just one of those things that just kept on going, kept on going. That's when Spike actually called my mother. He asked me, you know, because I went to him and said, hey, I'm having a hard time here. So he went on and told me about his father, how his father was strung out for years and what it did to his family.

And the main thing was to gather my strength. He said, I have a selfish motive. I need you in this movie, but most of all, you know, you need to be okay for your family, for you. You were kind of in and out of rehab. The whole world that I thought was it wasn't. Yeah, because I had it all backwards. See what I was thinking is is if I just could be successful, if I just could get this right. And I was thinking, you know, I'm gonna give me an Oscar and Emmy and all that stuff. You know,

I'm gonna get that stuff. And they became that, you know, get the house and have this and have the money and have the then everything is gonna be cool. So I would do that and then it would fall, and I would do that, and then it will fall, and then I would do that, and I couldn't understand why why am I not making this connection? When I became addicted to drugs, you know, I was a functioning addict

just the same. But those kinds of successes are the kinds of things that keep you in denial about who you are and where you really are. Yeah, I call it being a functional addict, you know what I'm saying. Yeah, the bottom. Yet, what was the point that you hit your bond? In Philadelphia? I did a show. I was going on stage that night. My talent was gone. Wow, So what do you mean by that? That thing that came out of my mouth so naturally was gone. It's

like it was more than that. I wouldn't consider that a bomb. What I would consider that is a solid message. If I gave it to you, I can take it from you now. Are you are on my team? Yeah? He stripped you. And so that was in front of five thousand people. The next Dad, I didn't want to go to a dog on a meeting, but I went and there was a guy in there and he was talking about how he's going to the NFL and how drinking and stuff like that. I took all of it

from him. What he said that got my attention was he said, all my life, I thought that people were stabbing me in my back. And I turned around to see that I'm the one with a knife in my hand, and I was like, it's me. It's me. It's not if the white white ex wife for you do this. It's not if if you treat me right, It's not if racism wasn't it were not. It was me. Do you say, Mom saved your life? Right? And you called me and I called you, and I was in Pittsburgh

and you was like, Hey, what's up you are? And I was like, yeah, I'm all right. You said, hold long the reinforcement, because by that time you had already been exposed to the prom right. But it's the process, it's something that had to take had to take its hold, you know. And I just want to thank you because that saved my life. And that was one of the many things that happened that that are the reason why

I'm here. Wow, when your mother passed, she could hardly talk, you know, and she's really worried about me all those years. But then I was doing fine, but it was still hard to really trust that I'm gonna be okay because she's passing away now. In two thousand and six, Tommy lost his beloved adoptive mother, the woman who rescued him from the trash, to a rare form of cancer. When my mom passed away, I realized that I am my

mother's greatest accomplishment. She shaped me, and she knew that she was sending out into the world somebody who can give love. And that's my purpose. So when I'm asked, what's your greatest accomplishment, it's being Barbara Davidson's youngest son, Tommy. The last thing I did was seeing her, your mom, and she just love. I sing, She's love. I can sing love. I can sing. That's saying Kenny Logan song way a little while, take the time and find his way to you. As soon as you're no longer try

Suddenly it'll be staring in your eyes. Don't forget it if you let come to you. And that was my last words there. Right, It sounds like to me that there was a lot that happened during your addiction journey. Are you still in that process of like repairing that with your kids. Yeah. One of the things that's come with my life is not to apologize, but to a tone.

M and a friend of mine taught me that because I didn't know what a tone meant, because apology doesn't mean anything if your behavior say so, she explained it to me. She said, apology is saying sorry, but sorry runs out like a old cartridge. But to atone for

something is to change the behavior. Absolutely. Our torment and our healing came from me watching her be a maternal support and grandmother to my children that she might not have been for me as a child, but she was right there all the time, making severe sacrifices to be that for me and for my children in the way that really just dissolved anything that had happened in the past. And so I understand that atonement because she was a new person, it wasn't even anything to talk about, you

know what I mean. But what I tell you what has been really painful for me in in our journey too, is to see um Jada's relationship with her children and realize all that she missed with me. That has been extremely extremely painful for me too. I mean, I'm happy for it and I'm so proud of her, but you know, and the loss is just as much mine as it

is yours. So it's difficult. It is. I hope for you that there will be an opening in some way to really have a deep healing with your kids, because it ain't gonna happen overnight because we I mean we I think we still struggle. You know, it's just such a process and I just don't think it ever. My oldest daughter, you know, she you know I ain't done her right now, you know what I mean. So that's okay, Yeah, okay, I found a picture of us, so I took it in ten into her phone. Yeah, I said, this is

who we are. Yeah, you know what I mean, And just let it, let it be, Let it be. It takes time and those openings occur. So what words of wisdom would you have for people that are going through hard any kind of struggle right now? Have courage enough to try someone with their secrets, Oh, and let them help you, Let them help you, because it takes a lot of courage to do that, it does, you know, Because are you gonna love me the same if I tell you some of stuff I really did, and you'd

be surprised that they will. You'll be surprised that another world opens up. People have a whole another world opens up, you know. And I never really thought about how much help helps until I needed it. Yeah. The one person Tommy says helped him through all his hard times is his beloved twin sister Burrow. Even though they now live on opposite coasts, Burlin Tommy still talk every day, but it's been over a year since they last saw each other. Man, that's my twin. How to get being there in that

chair out for? Can we bring that chair out? Welcome? All right, y'all ask for it. Hi, Hi, nice to meet you. Welcome to the table. Yes, it's so nice to meet you. I heard that you guys are how how far apart twins? I just thought it was so interesting that you guys were raised as twins. We're in the same grade, same grade until seventh grade. That has to be a trip. Well, you know, you're all I have and all i've had, So you mean the world

to me. You're everything really everything I protected growing up and everything that was important to me. Was you. Wow, I'm the crier in the family, soo wow. Would you say that in seeing Tommy now and everything you've seen him come through, would you say that you're proud of your brother? Oh my god, Yes, he has been through everything. Yeah, like you are here. She shouldn't be here, right, shouldn't this right here? You know what we've been through, you know,

for us to be sitting here. She man, she was all ahead. Mm hmmm. Yeah, I'll tell you what. It has been wonderful just to have the opportunity to see you guys together and feel and feel like okay for real, for real. Thank you so much for coming and blessing the Red Table. Thanks guys, thank you so much. Yeah, this is good. This was beautiful. Hey R T T family. Join our Red Table Talk group on Facebook to become part of the conversation and be sure to follow the

show page to catch up on all our episodes. Yeah, let's good for us. You don't know how when we have black men come to the table and honest about that story, we don't have it often, and it brings a humanity because people just look at our men going through and they don't know why. They don't hear the stories in order to understand where our men are coming from. To join the red table Talk family and become a part of the conversation, follow us at facebook dot com

slash red table talk. Thanks for listening to this episode of Red Table Talk podcast produced by Facebook, Watch, Westbrook Audio, and I Heart Radio.