Queen Latifah Is On a Mission!

shame attached to wait, the stigma attached to it. Was there ever a time where you felt like your size were scrutinized publicly? At eighteen, I looked in the mirror and I said, I have to make a decision. Either I'm either gonna hate myself or I'm gonna love myself as a very dark place, dark dark place. Queen Latifa has been my home girl for so many the years, and I love her to death. I met Lie long before she was the Queen of Rap and Oscar nominated

actress and an Emmy winning producer. We were just teenagers when I saw her perform at a club in Baltimore, where I grew up. Since then, our bond grew into a beautiful friendship. Break Ja. We've worked together many times, including co starring and set it off The Girl's Trip. I've always admired Live for being a trailblazing icon, pushing

boundaries and reshaping the conversation around women and beauty. She's never let Hollywood's image of the perfect body stop her from becoming one of the greatest entertainers of our generation. And of course she always makes me laugh. Come on out here, laugh? Is that my name being called? I just heard my name being called a JP. So you on a mission? I am on a mission right now? Um two? Change the stigma associated with obesity. Y, let's take these numbers, two and five Americans obese, four and

five Black women right, obese? Right? But we just look at ourselves different because some things, you know, their cultural issues. Black women we've learned to love through all this weight and all this. So I'm involved with a campaign called this Bigger than Me. It's about the shame attached to weight, pase being more attached to it. What people talk about, how they talk about you, the little words people drop. Yeah. I think if people understood it more then it could

change the conversation. Right why now for you? What happened was. I hooked up with a trainer, Jeanette, and she broke down this whole. You know, well, if you know Jeanette, then you know Janette is not about the plague now, and she has degrees and she's scientific and mathematic. She was showing me different body types and she's like, this is what your b A mayas, this is what your weight is, and you fall into this category of obesity.

I was mad at that off. It's just thick, I'm saying, and over where you should be, you know, And I'm like obese, right, So I was like, not right because I didn't see myself that way. That's what I'm saying. But that's the problem, and that's why I'm here because that word brings a connotation with it, okay, and the connotation is the problem. Obesity and overweight our medical terms used to classify how much body fat a person has. Body mass index, or b m I, is the standard

for calculating body fat based on height and weight. The National Institutes of Health breaks down b m I into four categories underweight, healthy weight, overweight, and obese. It's about just how it's looked at, you know, the stigma. It's not not enough understanding. I think people find overweight people offensive. I think people just have a negative, visceral reaction to

people that are overweight. That's part of what lies talking about, right, and it's how people are treated, how people feel about you, how people look at and I think at the end of the day, we put far too much attention on the exterior aspect of a person, especially when you look at some of the upsetting research. According to experts, weight

prejudice is the last remaining social acceptable bias. Numerous studies have found children as young as three believe harmful stereotypes and biases towards overweight people, including that they are lazy, weak willed, unsuccessful, and unintelligent. Kind of reminds me of how people think about black people. A recent news story

revealed some shocking statistics about weight discrimination at work. For every six pounds a woman gains her hourly paid drops, two people who are overweight are highed less, promoted less, and paid less. But see that, I didn't know that was a thing allowed. I mean, some people doesn't have different kinds of body types naturally, are just just bigger. And that's why I was just shocked. I was like obese I didn't connect with this obese word as applied

to me. I just thought I needed to stop eating something and getting the gym. But it did wake me up in terms of it being not just of physical thing. This can be a genetic thing, a hormonal thing, meaning it's a different kind of management. Possibly absolutely well, once you're aware of that, then you can maybe do something about it. Put it like this, if you looked at obesity as a disease, which it is, you think you would crack all of these jokes that people do the

same thing with addiction exactly. You recognize addiction as a disease because it is, then your attitude is different about it. So that's what you're saying about obesity. We need to change our thought processes around it. Yeah. For me, it's not about a weight thing. It's really about health at the end of the day. But I know a lot of people who are actually quite thin and are not healthy.

But that goes along with Also when you talk about black women and obesity, when I think about what foods we have access to that we're in the price of groceries, you know, access to healthy foods, it's ridiculous. You know, there's no reason why we should be eating what we've had to eat, right and so, and that's historically, I mean, yeah,

that's historic, absolutely exactly. This is why it's such an opportune time to really get into the subject because at the end of the day, you want people to feel good about who they are. But if it's always coming through a lens of someone else, that's not healthy. Was there ever a time where you felt like your eyes were scrutinized publicly? I've been publicly scrutinized, I think my whole career. Yeah, you know what I mean. I just

came out the door looking different. It's like, who is this girl with this African clothes on and those shoes on her? I thought it was hot, thank god, you know, like they've been trying to figure me out, like from jump, like where is she? Where is she going with this? Did you ever feel any kind of scrutiny during Living Single? That was one of the major ones. It happened a

couple of times. We helped create Living Single. So when you look at that picture, you see four different women, four different shades, four different types, and we look like four women who would live in Brooklyn, right, And that's who we were supposed to be representing. And we loved being able to do that because we got brands that nobody was rocking. We had all kind of guests on our show that have never been on TV before, rappers

and actors and just cool people. But the word came down that we needed to lose weight, right those was delivered. The word the world came down. No one, particularly the words slow down. That's the word coming down from you know, shot camp. My part Oh and I Do Yes wasn't having it. He didn't make me aware of it, but you know he obviously it was like, she's not doing it, not for you, not for anybody. Goodbye, you know pretty much,

what are you talking about? But I thought also about my cast mates, like how do they feel about themselves? And then to have to hear this, We're on the number one show among black and Latino households in America and you're telling us we need to lose weight. Maybe you're the one with the problem, because maybe you're the one that has the issue because the show is a success and you're telling us we need to lose weight.

But that happened again too, You know that the word came down again and it was like, come on, enough of them. You're trying to fit into what somebody else is telling you about who you need to be. We're also taught these ideas of beauty. You know, this is what you're supposed to look like. But when you have these pictures painted for you and it is implanted over generations,

that's the problem. That's what's been the beauty about. Even since the beginning of your career, You've been always speaking out about the power of that's true. But at the same time, when your mom is the ideal beauty for us as black people, she looked like my little mini me when we stand next to each other. I have to figure out how to find clothes that look right on me on my side in this world when designers are not creating those fashion brands that have these sizes.

So it's like if I was a side twenty four and I'm I got styled, I still want to rock with the size too is wearing, but the designers are like, no, we're gonna stop right here, right Okay, have you checked the stats of the size of the people in the country. You might want to make some clothes in this side. What's the problem don't you get it. No, you don't want to get it. You don't want us to look like this. You don't want us. I think it gets back to what I'm like. You don't want us to

live this fullness. Like I knew when I was wanted to play basketball, I had to run down the court like this because my breath would be bouncing because if the brids weren't very you know, supportive at the time, you know, but if I wanted to play basketball, that's what I was gonna have to do. You know. I think I the brids have changed, they're much better. But

those look, those things affect you. And telling someone, oh you too big to play that, you'll never play that sport, or you can't handle that, you can't be on that squad, it crushes people. It crushes your spirit right there. Lizzo has taken really amazing strides in in that direction, putting the beauty of bigger bodied individuals. So much for keeping

me happy, for keeping me alive. Thank you. I followed her when she was just playing the flute and singing songs for years, you know, before she blew way up. She has created a language around this that is different from any language I've heard on the surrounding body type and Frihanna to Briana with her fancy line and savage with the models that she has on the runway, like she goes all in, all sizes, all colors, all different backgrounds,

and spend for you. And that's what you do. You were inclusive, and then everyone else, you know, winds up looking like, oh, how do we how do we make that? You were looking for it and you didn't try. You didn't have the bravery to just look right in front of you and see that there's a big place missing in this market. As your friend, it feels so good to just see you. I can tell how passionate you

are about this right. Well, I figured that if I came on Red Table Talk, I could get you for at least three more episodes, which is like having days off at work because you have some more fun, you know what I mean. Maybe get you to come steal a few more pagings you know about That's what did happened? Okay, come back, never bring back. You got flow back in the building and the family queens and the house. So we invited us special group of fans to join us

for this important conversation. Yes, we got some face. Everybody where's tomorrow? Hey? Ti? To mar is known as the Curvy Darling. Millions follow her on her various lifestyle platforms. How are you? I'm so excited to be here. I started my platform almost ten years ago to change the narrative that I've been forced in my entire life about what that lives look like, what that people live like.

So I share my life. I share my experiences, I share my travel, my fitness, what I'm cooking, falling in love, and it's my life where I'm the main character and not my fat, not my body character. I gotta give one that. It's amazing when you can change that mindset. I did have a question for Queen La Tipa. No, I wasn't there. I didn't do it. You're such a confident person. I am too, but I can't help that negative talk that creeps in from time to time. So

how do you stop that self sabotage? Yes? So I have definitely had that problem since I was a very young person, and it would be these flashes that would just come across me, a flash of pure self hate, self loathing, uncontrollable, like who just hate me? Just what is that? And I would have to really stop in my tracks and take a minute to try to turn my mind around. At eighteen, I looked in the mirror

and I said, I have to make a decision. Either I'm either gonna hate myself or I'm gonna love myself. And I'm talking to myself in the mirror as I'm saying, are you gonna hate yourself? Are you gonna love me? Something? And I decided to love myself. And it wasn't like love came over, but the love was already there. So it started to rise up more than the self hate that would pop in because that's a very dark place, dark dark place. And there's a few people I've talked

off the ledge who were ready to call it. Every once in a while, I'll get hit up on online and I'm like, don't do it, just wait, just get through tonight. Just ignore them for a minute. You're gonna be okay. We need you, I need you, I need you to be all right. Just get through tonight. And I'm talking about fourteen year old kids, yeah, you know. And then I'll get hit up like a little while later,

like I'm good, I'm doing okay. I made it through that because if you give it a little time, I feel like God lets something in to put light in that space of darkness. But if you at the time, if you stop too short, then you didn't. We won't give it the chance that it needs for real. Thank you so much, and just keep those positive thoughts about yourself in your head. When that self sabotager comes up, you go, I love myself And that's a day, yo.

Blesses that part right there. Way would be brave enough to live out there for ten years. Yes, I've been like, that's not your business. Yeah, yeah right. Remy Vader is a content creator and curve model with millions of followers. Hey, Remy, what did you want to say today? How are you? I'm so happy to be here. You're all amazing. I got let go for my job during the pandemic, and around that time, I gained probably like sixty pounds and

I was struggling with that. And one day when I was going shopping and soho I live in New York City. I went to about fifteen stores and not one of those stores had above a size ten or twelve. Now I'm like an eighteen. So I started just being honest on TikTok about why are we only seeing on social media the good? No one showing the bad? What about like the clothes that don't fit you? Or what about when you border clothes online and you're supposed to look

like what the model looks like. No one looks like what the model looks like. So I started putting a little humor on it to make myself feel better, and I did these things that I now do called realistic holes, where I kind of call out the brands and I showed the good and I showed the bad and I tell them to do better. Okay, I look like mud. What the hell is that? Please revolved, Please just make some larger clothing back again with a realistic misguided hall?

Hell is that something's wrong with I think we do something crazy? Like around what did I tell I'm done? These brands don't even know what they're doing, Like let's try and laugh about it. But like, it's not our faults. I'm so grateful. I have people coming up to me in the streets every day, like I never left my apartment until I saw your videos, like thank you, and that's amazing. But every day I got tens of thousands of you fat, well this this, I'm changing these brands

like they're listening. But like then you get that and it's like why am I getting so upset? And that's tough, and I've definitely had to ignore a lot of people. I've grown thicker skin. I also don't even read it ye bye bye bye, Like, yeah, it's tough because it hurts. Yeah, you know what I mean. It hurts with somebody says something,

you know, snide to you. You know, but you found success being yourself, figuring it out for you, not knowing, just like a young Queen Lativa didn't know that so many women out there wanted to have someone that look like me represent them. To add to at Law and for YouTube Remy, it's not easy to be a trailblazer. Yeah. I just want you to know too that any kind of negativity that's coming your way is not about you. That is a projection of how that person feels about themselves.

And I know it's hard, but that is fat and that is true. So you keep doing you, You keep doing you so beautiful. We're doing a good thing, you really are. And I hope to run into you in New York City walking Thank you, Remy Michelle, You're up next, Hey Michelle, Hi ladies, Hello Queen. I just want to let you know I was born in a eight so I've knowing you, my man so much. So. I'm a female rapper. Put blow wind. Now we say Heddlow with

trade magic and they want to payg on me. I'm having issues with thinking I'm supposed to look like everybody else just to get my music heard. I thought that, you know, I needed to go and get a B B L or something. A few years ago I got breast implants, and like, every time I feel insecure, I can't just run out and get surgery. I can end up making myself sick. My question to you, Queen is how did you have the courage to be yourself and not worry about what everybody else looked like around you.

Well that's a great question, great question, heavy question, but it's great. My father told me very early if I wanted to do things, I have to believe in myself, but sometimes I would have to stand alone. That you have to be able to have the courage to be the only one that's right, because if you don't believe in you, you're not gonna get everybody else to bite. You know, there's only one single you. You were created uniquely to do what you are supposed to do in

the world of hip hop. I mean, I can't be a better Nikki than Nikki. I can't be a better Kim than Kim, or Missy than Missy. Light is already light, so I can't be light. I can't be a better Salt and Pepper than them. I just can't. They are who they are supposed to be, and they're the best at who they are. But I can be the best Latifa. You know, So you have to decide for yourself what you are willing to do or not do for this business. I watched this one over here develop over years. She

took her time. This wasn't an overnight thing. So what you may see is an overnight sensation is not always an overnight success. It takes years to develop and find you're lane and find your vibe and find your voice and really figure out, like what do I want to say and who am I exactly? I'm still figuring and that's and that's okay because you get to do that. But you can't remove a BBL. I'm not saying you should have shouldn't. It's your body. I can't tell you

what to do with it. I could tell was get your bars up, but got to get your bars up if you want to rack, make sure that's right. But your research and you know that might be your passive fat and you're stuck with it. So they really put some serious thought into it. And I think you're beautiful as you are. You know exactly and it will cut through there it is. Thank you so much, Queen, I really appreciate that. So Shannon loves her body but has a concern. Hey Shannon, how are you? I am well,

Hello ladies. Ever since I was a young girl, my mother would always say, you're not fat, you're fluffy. So my question is, if I were to lose this weight, would I lose my identity? Will I still see myself as beautiful? And will I love all of the curves that I see when I look in the mirror. I understand that fair. Because there was one time I was in Louisiana shooting a movie. I don't know if I told you all this story, and I was just walking down the street and this girl saw me and she

was like Queen Latifa. She was a full body woman, young girl. She was like excited to see me queer ra tiva, Oh skinny. I was like, I felt disrespected, Like who you're calling skinny? You know what I mean. But it was more like I felt like I let her down because I wasn't at a larger weight, maybe than in the past. I think you are who you are regardless. All you need to do is check up on your health. How's your heart, how's your lungs, How are you doing that? Check yourself out from the inside.

It sounds like your spirit is in a good place. It sounds like your mind is in a good place. If you want to lose weight or not lose a penn and that's that's up to you, you know. But at least you'll be aware of where you are physically and which is the most important part you being around Because we got black women dying heart attacks, Black and brown people are dealing with a lot of stresses and those things definitely affect our health. I hope that answers

your question. It sure does. Thank you so much, Thank you, Thank you. Pam. You say your weight kept you from getting a promotion, Yes, it did. I was discriminated on the job because of my plus size. I was in a training room which was supposed to last for twelve months. When it came time for my promotion, my supervisor got a friend that was very young, very small, and put her in that position. I was laughed at. I was

not taking seriously. I was a joke. I was not respected, and I knew that I had to get out of there. And I felt really bad because I looked very hard for a job. I wanted a job so bad, but when I quit the job, I felt like a failure. Who I said. I wasn't gonna cry anyway. All I want to say is this to you, Jada, thank you for hearing us. Thank you so much, he and Queen for hearing us, because it's something that hurts very deeply, and I never thought anybody would hear me or listen.

So I just want to thank you for hearing all of us. Thank you, Pam, and I thank Queen too for coming to the table today because Ms Pam, the way you've educated us right now and understanding the pain around being discriminated because of your weight, your physical appearance, and you bringing this subject to the table because I wasn't aware of discrimination in regards to wait in that way, and I didn't know that it was it ran that deep. That's what we love to do at the table is

to get educated. It's all about trying to bring more compassion and understanding in the world. That's right, it really is. Yeah, I just I have to add that set it off as my favorite movie. You in that room that far right there, Thank you, miss pain It's one of my favorites too. Definitely listen, best day of my life. Well, thank you so much, miss Pam, and thank you to all of you for joining us today for our queen right here. I really appreciate it. Thank you for your testimonies.

I love you so much because you are one of the most gentle, sincere hearts that I know, and just for people that have the ability to be in connection to that, it's gonna be so healing. It makes my heart feel good. You stopped looking at you close my eyes, but you know you have just I love you so much because you're just such a just such a cuddle, your heart so soft and warm, and being in your presence is like a warm embrace. Thank you for having

me and anytime continued success here. Thank you. Yeah, yeah, yo, I just want those teeth the glitter, yo, you can get them any times. I know, I know what, I know what, chick. I need to know what. Chick? Who does it really right? Pop those in on something love y'all see you soon. To join the red table Talk family and become a part of the conversation, follow us

at facebook dot com slash red table talk. Thanks for listening to this episode of Red Table Talk podcast produced by Facebook, Watch, Westbrook Audio, and I Heart Radio.