Kim Basinger and Ireland Baldwin: Living with Anxiety, Panic Attacks + Phobias

breaking point. I didn't talk to my parents for like a year. I think I would have committed suicide. Then, for the first time in fourteen years, her mom Oscar winner Kim Bay Singer opens up about her severe panic attacks. I wouldn't leave the house, I would no longer go to dinner. I had to relearn to drive. How did you feel when you saw that Ireland was all self suffering? An important conversation that affects millions. Oh, j you you have no idea. Hi, thank you for having me. I'm

nice to see you. Nice to you. How are you. I'm pretty good? I'm pretty good. Yeah right, We we can get it. We can get a little comfy I'm just so happy we're here about this. Two hundred and sixty four million people around the world experience some form of anxiety or panic attacks. I know that, including me, most everybody that I know has um struggled with some kind of anxiety or panic. It doesn't come down to getting really expensive therapy. It's just about having conversations like

this and letting it out. I just think it's super important to just talk about it. And I want to ask you, like, what was your first time experiencing anxiety or panic attacks. I didn't really want to call it anxiety for a long time because I think it kind of makes you feel weak. It makes you feel like you're put in a box. So it's I think I've had it my whole life, since I was a kid. I just don't think I was comfortable calling it what

it was. I just I felt so ashamed of it, you know, I just didn't and I didn't really understand like what was happening to me. Yeah, I definitely relate to not wanting to call it anxiety or not even like knowing that it's anxiety. Yeah, I feel like when I was growing up, I was always told I was like being a brat, or like being ungrateful, or like having a fit, when in reality, I was kind of dealing with a deeper emotional issue. Do you remember your

first anxiety attack when my parents were getting divorced? That was really when Ireland was just a toddler. When her parents split, A year's long, bitter, very public custody battle followed. When she was eleven, a devastating voicemail from her father to her was leaked to the press. The worldwide coverage

was inescapable. I think for any child, divorce is traumatic, extremely traumatic, and I don't think most people can imagine how it must feel to have that trauma broadcast or everything that happen we want to see everyone can read about it. I can remember playing with friends, I'm at playdates, I'm in school, I'm staying at friends houses. I'm like

hidden from the realities of it all. But you know, when you get older, when you have access to the internet, when you have friends in school, older kids, you know coming to you and asking you, oh, well is this true, or that it starts to manifest. And I think the other point I'll make that you and I share is always trying to have to individualize That's a big one.

My anxiety is so deep and rooted in that having to be being your own person, making sure that people respect you for who you actually are, not just for who your mother is or your father is, or what they think you should do. Coming to terms with that and being like, Okay, well, I guess you know I'm gonna model for an hour. I guess I'm gonna act, or I guess I'm gonna do this because this is what people expect of me. You have a lot more to prove because you're always going to have that comparison

to your parents. I don't think I ever would have been scouted as a model if it weren't for who my parents are. Nothing makes me want to peel my fingernails off more than doing like a basing her Baldwin spread and a you know magazine and then facing the criticism and the comparisons and then that anxiety for me is like extremely toxic. Since Ireland's first modeling job at seventeen,

she's had to face comparisons to her mother. She's been a target of critics and on social media, often getting vicious comments on her appearance and wait, I know I've struggled a lot with body image, Like even still today, do you think that coming into modeling that whole world just sparked a little bit more of that anxiety just

through a different perspective. He ruined my brain? Wow, I had already had so many body issues, eating disorders, all that stuff that I had before I even got into modeling. At the beginning of my modeling career, I was like,

why am I even doing this? Totally? Like you just kind of just felt like you needed to do it or that was like I remember, keenly, like when I first started really going hard with the modeling and working a lot, I would travel and go on these trips to work and like wake up the next day and just be physically sick. Yeah. I remember one specific time I had to get myself out of the hotel room like all of my might because every five minutes I

was thrown up. Yeah, I know the exact feeling. I was going to be the model actress that people wanted me to be, you know, But I would go to these big events and I'd be like, what am I here even promoting? Why am I here? Totally? The top five worst panic attacks I've ever had in my life. I had at this Harper's Bizarre dinner and I literally had to go outside and rip my dress off. It was like so tight. Took my necklace off, and I was I was gonna I was dry heaving st in

New York, like throwing up full. You know, these emotions take a toll physically, and they love to come out at the most inconvenient times ever, like I need to work, Please don't do this to me. I suffer from cardiophobia, and you're like, what, don't know what that is? I didn't know either until I did a lot of research for a very long time. I have a fear of

my own heartbeat. So when it starts getting really fast, even when I'm nervous, even slightly nervous, or if I exercise or anything, I start panicking to the point where I'm convinced, no matter what anyone says, that I'm gonna have a heart attack. And I had to go to

a hospital. So I've had me over twenty hospital visits in my life for a doctor to basically come in and tell me that my heart's fine and my health is great, and that would be this huge release for me, this comfort seeing an e k G monitor tell me that my heart's okay. I've had paramedics come to my house. I'm like, listen, you don't understand it's happening. This time, I'm dying. I've had the same paramedics come to my house a few times and they're like, here we go

again with the girl at the fake heart attack. You know, but it's so crippling because everyone kind of looks at you like you're young and fit and healthy. You're fine, You're fine, but you're fine. I want to like dack people in the face that tell me I'm fine, you know, or to breathe. Do you think that there were any specific experiences that you had that made you focus on your heart in particular. I saw someone have a heart attack when I was a kid. It was a stranger

in a restaurant, and that messed me up. I think that image never left my head ever. That makes sense. That's a traumatic experience and that stays with you. Was there ever a mental health conversation in your house when you were growing up? My mom struggles with anxiety and she's definitely my go to my person, so she's so she's who I call when I'm panicking. When I'm having an anxiety attack or and when it's starting to build up,

I just I know to call my mom. But she's tough, so she's just kind of like, go to work, make money, dear thing, who cares about any of this? Save up In some way, I feel like that strong kind of attitude is amazing in some points, but sometimes you need to go to that soft place and be like, I'm human. You want to be helped? Yeah, like I'm human, I'm hurt. My mom is one of the strongest people. She's so unapologetically herself. She really could give less of a you

know what what people think of her. And I envy that in her more than anything, because I care so much what people think, you know, and I'm such a people pleaser. And with her she manages the energy vampires and blood suckers very well because she's like okay, yeah, and then she goes home. It's like, you know what I mean, only she manages. How does your mother help

you manage? It? Was rough. I feel like when I was growing up, she didn't understand my anxiety because she growing up had seen her friends die, like she had been through so much stuff that like my issues to her kind of felt like smaller, and that was very frustrating for me as a child, of course, because I was like, how can you not see my internal emotional struggle?

But like really recently, she we had a talk and she was like, I never knew that I actually experienced anxiety, and she was pushing it down and pushing it down for so many years, like she had no idea. So I kind of had to forgive her a little bit, yeah, for like being like, yeah, yeah, yeah, right, I get it, but like it's really not that bad, you know what I mean. Yeah, but it's very real to you. Your

experience is real to you. I've been through so much before I really got help, I was in a really abusive relationship and I did go to a treatment center. So I've been through a lot of different kinds of abuse. I have been in physical, abusive relationships, and for so long I didn't want to call just like I didn't want to call my anxiety anxiety, I didn't want to call the forms of abuse I had been through in

a lot of ways. And here's the other thing. I had been abusive to people unknowingly because I'm not hitting them or I'm not you know being getting physical, but there were there was a lot of learning I had to do and a lot of acceptance of okay, wait, that was abusive behavior. I was an abuser towards someone else. But at that time I just hit a total breaking point and I was self medicating with xan X, and I was drinking, and I have a lot of alcoholism

and drug addiction to my family. I had a night where I went way too far with drinking and taking pills because I couldn't even go to bed at night. I was so afraid of this relationship. And when I went to this drug and alcohol treatment center, I learned that I didn't have an addiction to a substance, but I have an addiction to wanting to fix people. That's my addiction. I'd fixate on anything until it shatters my

everything around me. That relationship brought a lot of really shady people in my life, and um I had isolated all of my real friends, isolated my family. I had no control in anything in my life. I tortured myself with my eating disorders that I had. I didn't talk to my parents for like a year, like I saw them here and there, But I was so ashamed of of what I had become and how I was living, and like I just became this different person. I was

this like emaciated in every way. I was lifeless. But I don't mean in like a you know, literal skinny way, but just like my soul, soul everything was just shrunk, you know. And family wise, you know, my cousin, Haley Haley's older sister is like my sister. I love Haley Haley's like my sister too. But Aliah love Aliah. Well, she was the one who booked a ticket from New York came to l A to see me. She was like, something's up. You know, I sent something. When she saved

my life. You know, I think I would have committed suicide or I would have been dead for sure. I was so close and like I was so close I could feel it to getting to that point, and she said my life. She pulled me out of it. Wow. I feel like people like that are so important totally. How can a loved one, boyfriend, girlfriend, or just friend help a person going through a panic attack in the moment? Okay,

So I love this question because I've had friends. I've had boyfriends who just had no clue how to manage my anxiety, and it would make me ten times more anxious because they didn't understand or they were very dismissive. I think the most important thing. I'm going to use my now boyfriend as an example or my mom. If I tell them I want to go to a hospital, they don't even question it. They drive me there. I've

dated people who have been like this. Again. This past Christmas, I had a horrible anxiety attack, and my boyfriend he's like, all right, let's go get the keys, you know, and just getting to the hospital, breathing in the parking lot, I'm like, I think he's like, Okay, let's go home. You know. It's like making it not such a big deal, not making someone feel ashamed or embarrassed for whatever, caring

in the moment. Yeah, And I think one other thing I'll say is reach out to people totally, like check on people, ask if they're okay. Because the anxiety manifests itself in a lot of ways, and it swirls and turns into depression. People feel trapped, like they don't have an escape, and be someone's escape. You know, Wow, that's beautiful, Thank you. Shall we go to the red table and continue this amazing conversation with our beautiful mother's grandmother. Let's

see it. Hey guys, hey may hear me? How was it to be able to feel like and you could have such an open conversation like that, you feel less alone, like a breath of fresh air. That's how it felt like. They're totally you know, so I when your mom has agreed to join us, this is a big moment and

an honor screwinner. Kim Basinger seemed to have it all, a booming career, a movie star husband, and a string of iconic films from James Bond to Nine and a Half Weeks, Batman and l A Confidential, But behind the scenes, Kim continued to grapple with the crippling anxiety that plagued her since childhood. After a difficult divorce played out in public,

Kim seemed to disappear from the spotlight. Now, for the first time in nearly fifteen years, Kim is opening up together with her daughter Ireland, to share their struggles with mental health. The One and Only, Yes, Hi, nic brilliant, thank you, thank Hi doll. Such a beautiful, thank you, beautiful job. You know, it's so interesting to be able to watch two young people together and have a conversation like that, you know, just as a mom, because we

didn't get to do that. That's very true. You know, I didn't come up in a time where that kind of conversation was even allowed. And I'm sure with you too, Kim, Like you know, we were children, and it was like, you know, be seen and not heard and sit down and just do what she told saying with you right, Yeah. You know. When I was a kid, I was really a very um, high octane type kid, and I was very perceptive about what was going on in my house, the strife, the fight, and I was just very very

sensitive and it affected me seeing my mom struggle. She was a very dark woman. She was a beautiful woman, but she was troubled deeply. And I saw her struggle with anxiety her whole life. And I always had a great fear of something happening to my mom. I was so afraid, and then that started affecting me in so many ways that I felt like I had to be home with my mom to save her. So I would take it to school and I would lie, I would make up excuses so the teacher would send me home.

After a while, they began to think that something was really differently wrong with me, so they made me take all kinds of tests, they made me draw bunny pictures, and basically it was child anxiety. But they did not see things like that. And and it took me into adulthood to really find out as I was being helped for my anxiety, to really reckon with that journey I had gone on with my mom to try to save her was part of my problem. How did your anxiety

manifest in your adulthood? You had a condition where you stayed in the house for phobia. I literally was in a health food store one day. It was my neighborhood store. I was going down Aisle number three. My basket was almost full, and I found something really overcoming me in such a way that I couldn't bring it. So I left the basket and I made it to my car, and that was the last time I drove for almost six seven months. It yeah, but I wouldn't leave the house.

I would no longer go to dinner. I could not even have people for dinner. We tried that, and it's really horrible to feel it. One as as fairly fiercely as I did during those years, you know, and not know what it was. It's like something just completely shuts down within you and you have to relearn everything. I had to relearn to drive, and for any years I

would not go through the tunnels at Malibu. Everything used to make me nervous, like the glass going to open the door, or where do I stepped over the door. Everything became a big job to figure out. How to do you live with the dry mouth all the time. You're very shaky, You're just so exhausted all the time. How were you able to manage that? We had heard about the center. It just helps people with anxieties and panic attacks. And I did my six months and learned

how to redrive everything else I had to do. And I was really scared because I didn't want to tell anybody in my work what was happening. It's got to be a really hard way to exist, yeah, because you're not really living your life. We actually have a family member who I think probably suffers from a form of agoraphobia,

and we never do that. We didn't understand. I didn't understand her behavior or lack thereof, Like she wouldn't come out and come around, and we kind of took it personally that she didn't want to be with us, and people do take it personally she doesn't want to come to the dinner again, or she doesn't want to do this, and people don't understand these things. So when you really feel like you're in it alone, it is a horrible feeling.

It's always had to stigma on it about people just think you're that's it, and people try to take you down. She's nuts, don't get near her, don't deal with her. Everybody thinks I'm a hermit. It is hurt, horrible, and it flows from one generation to another. It does. But I tell you, Ireland has been a great teacher and a great healer for me. For me, she has no idea what she's done for me in my life to

battle this. She's brought me out of my shell. Kim, how did you feel when you saw that Ireland was also suffering from anxiety? What did that bring up for you? Oh? You you have no idea. When she started twisting her hands, because my mother always put her hand over my hands becrise, I would twist my hands my whole life to see her hurt. It used to hurt me worse than anything probably could. There's no description. Really we went through a heavy duty, very out loud when you're in the public

divorce and she had to go through that very rough time. So, Kim, I want to ask you. I know that co parenting can be really listened. Parenting can be difficult in Ireland having the anxiety issues that that she's had. Was that a difficult process with Alec or were you guys able to kind of see eye to eye on how to handle it eye to I uh no, you know that was not Alex if anyone, um, you know, we were all fine, we all get alone whatever. But he's been

but he's a challenge. I mean, come on, we've had our challenges, and I don't think Alec was emotionally or mentally available for that kind of talk. Um. Alec, you know, operates in a very different way in his life. He deals with anxiety greatly, but he's someone who grew up in a family that would suppress that as well or tell him he's weak feeling that. Yeah, yeah, there's things

I would go to my father for. But if I ever even tried to have this conversation in any way with him, I don't think he would be able to really absorb any of it, you know, or understand an He can't really sympathize as much with it. But it's not his fault and he's gotten way better. I think he really suppressed his anxiety. Like up until pretty recently, he's really been dealing with things that kind of have been thrown at him. He's been forced to finally deal

with these things. That's what God does to us, makes it, you know, in a position that we can no longer run with you. It took me a long time to understand Willow, it really did it. I mean, just her anxiety. I had a very difficult time relating because two things, her lifestyle and how she was brought up very different than mine. I don't know what it's like to be a child under hot lights, and then just really not knowing how to comfort her, not knowing what help she needed,

not understanding the behavior. Even though I used to chew my fingernails down to yeah and cuticles, I'll still go at him a little bit. But they didn't say that that was anxiety. Oh my god, I was a nail biter, that's right, right. I never identified it as an anxiety one thing I would say, and having to deal with and learn about her anxiety. I've had to look at some of my own behaviors and then behaviors of my mother and go, well, of course I probably would have

some anxiety in regards to how I grew up. It was very difficult even till this day, you know, and just being there for her in the way that she needs. I think my anxiety used to trigger you, it did, like and you would just be like, no, this what would anxiety look like for you? Just like on the floor, tears shaking, screaming, confused, and I'd be like, hey, yeah, see, but you said the key thing. It triggered something in you, not even recognizing your own a little bit, because your

nail biting is huge, it's huge. She to do it so badly to the quick that I used to try to just do anything. I said, I just hold her hands, do anything, offered to pay her, which never worked anything, you know. But I think in our world I almost saw it as a weakness, you know, like we just couldn't afford to be anxious. But I think you know you had your ways of escaping, right, That's true, you did, Yama run yeah, which also numb me to whatever was

going on with you. I just didn't want to face it, deal with anything in my life, right, So I guess what I'm seeing is this cycle of generational What are some of the coping methods that you use when you feel a panic attack coming on? Now, it just brings me tremendous comfort. To regulate my blood pressure. I know it's ridiculous, but it's mine. It's what you need. It helps. Do you still carry of blood pressure machine with you? Blood pressure? Yeah? Blood pressure come yeah on Amazon, and

it's like solds me so much. So honestly, I would come home and collapse in her driveway and I'd be like, call somebody, or I collapsed my bathroom, call somebody, something just the floor. Something's happening to me. It's my you know. And of course when things would happen to Ireland like that and I would have to call the paramedics. I just want to make sure you weren't gonna be I mean, she wasn't just doing this on purpose. It was really happening to her. It's a real thing. It's a real thing.

I had an anxiety attack before I went to the doctor, and my blood pressure was really high. I was just heaving and your body is just stressed. You needed to. It's really interesting how anxiety works because even for Willow, she would be nervous going, you know, like to perform, but she wouldn't have an anxiety attack. But she could be mess up doing absolutely nothing and then and then absolutely it's totally different. You're not sitting with yourself when

you're performing. You're you're in it. You know, interesting point that you're not sitting with yourself, you're out of yourself a bit, versus having to sit alone with you. And they think about I could be as happy as can be, and I could be like at lunch my favorite restaurant or at home watching a movie and have and all of a sudden, all feel boom. And it can come

from just nothing, like out of total thin air. I don't care how much help you get on a care, how much support you get, You're still going to have those anxious times. She's got something you get over. You just how to manage it, and you do right. Just recently that was sitting across from my now partner and I said, you know, I want to go home, okay. At a restaurant. I just not just I have to go. I gotta get out of here. And I felt very strongly about that. I will literally start shaking. My hands

start shaking, sometimes my legs shake. Why you know, I have to saying, just shut up to your own self, shut up to your own self. I love that. I mean it. If I'm gonna start saying, I'm going to hear your voice in my head, I mean, everyone, just shut up to your own self. And I'm gonna say that to you. But you have to say in the country accident. So beautiful that you guys have each other. Oh you know what I mean. It's so beautiful that you can lean on one another. I'm trying to get

better out of bab. You come on some of the best. When you when you told me that you actually do experience anxiety, that changed my life. Yeah, because you're my best friends. So what can I say? I love you, I'm sweet. I love that bad. Thank you. Oh yeah, thank you so much, thank you so sweet. Set. I was really honored to be asked to do this because I haven't been out in so long. This was a huge thing for me, and I knew I was going to enjoy it immensely because it's a subject matter that

has just wrecked havoc in so many lives. And I just I am so proud of you, all of you ladies for bringing it all up to You're making a whole movement with people with women. The whole purpose of the table testimony is so powerful and sharing, every sharing shares everything. What's your tattoo? Hindu goddess? Every single time I've ever gone in tattoo, it's just like you're defacing your body. I finally got a leg tattoo. What did your two? What did you get? And I got her

It's Kim and she was like, what happened? She's like that one you can keep to join the Red Table Talk family and become a part of the conversation. Follow us at facebook dot com slash red table Talk. Thanks for listening to this episode of Red Table Talk podcast produced by Facebook Watch Westbrook Audio