Growing Up Smith!

you know they're working. Well, that's a good thing. Her and Jaden. The Jaden starts tour tomorrow. All right, we're gonna be talking about parentsing, the joys of parenthood and pitfalls of parenting. Okay, so Willow, dam Um, what's happened? What's happening? Look at there's gold chains I got yesterday. Where give that problem? Being careful for people thinking you've got real crap? One? Jaden's my baby boy, my firstborn. What's He's one of the most loving, gentle creatures that

I know. I just want to say thank you for being the best mom in the world. Jaden is a musician, an actor, and an entrepreneur. He has a clothing line. We kind of believe that you need to be able to show your individuality with your clothing and how you feel about life. His own record label and a sustainably sourced spring water company because he cares about making the world a better place. I'm a proud mama when it comes to Jaden and Willow of their successes and their compassion.

Willow and Jaden are extremely talented and extremely opinionated. They are unique individuals, to say the least, but they get that honestly because they come from two unique parents. My kids grew up much differently than Well and I did, and I'm so curious to hear their thoughts on our parents. All Right, you guys were at the Red Table again. Jade, and thank you for being here. You're a special guest today. I'm glad to have some male energy in here. I'm

glad to be here just and from Japan. We're so glad that you're here. Yeah, I just want to talk a little bit about the difference between how your mom raised you and how I raised your mom. We didn't give kids a whole lot of choice. Am I writing that? You're very writing? You know, I felt like you guys had too much say over your own lives, you know, And if I told you something because I said so, I know you are why game because I said so.

But and your mom and dad had to really kind of break me out of that because she treated you like adults. And I just felt like, he's eight, He's gonna tell me what time he's going to bed. Ye. It was their idea of parenting was so different from what I was used to. I was like, these people was crazy. So I remember hearing you in the world game in the world, well, I remember always being like,

once a game becomes just gonna be a different story. Yeah, I was like, once a game becomes I'm gonna have to be like But I think having both worlds was good. It was great because it was old school and super new school. It worked. We laughed so so good. But they got that therapy fun exactly. I don't want to make decisions for you. I want to prepare you as quick as possible and start to give you as much power over your life as quickly as I can. I think too, that I have a sense of ownership over

your mom that she doesn't have over you. She belonged to me. They know what but I feel like, you know that that's not a lot of mothers that because of their that anxiety of no, you're my baby, I know what's best. You're going to make the wrong decisions because you're immature. You're a child that feeling just like encompasses their child, and then their child just becomes not able to make their own decisions, you know what I'm saying.

You know what I realized the other day, I had a huge epiphany about being a parent to you guys. There is an aspect of your life that is completely range and unknown to me, and that is growing up in this with parents that have the amount of privilege, the amount of access. What was it like, you know, being raised in this very unconventional lifestyle. You're not a normal human if if you can't go out into the world and see there's some things that you absolutely just

have to experience for yourself totally. And it's like, I don't know how things always work. I was getting nervous at the end of dinner because it's like, how do you have dinner with a group of people? Because when I have dinner with my dad, he orders everything on the menu and you pay for everything that he leaves, So it's like, is that how we do it? Everybody

expects me to do that. You know, if I go to dinner with Mommy, it's like, Okay, we're not gonna order everything on the menu, but she's gonna pay for everything for all of her friends, including us. So it's like, what do I do when it's just me and my homies and we're just chilling for dinner. Do I wait to see what someone else does? Do I ask for the check and then just not do anything? Do I just pay for everything? And people expect that for me.

I literally hate Disneyland because I had one terrible experience and everyone expected me to pay for them. And they're like, hey, let's go to Disneyland. And I was like, yeah, let's go. And I was super young. It was the older girls and I was like yeah, and they were all like behind my back, like oh, she's gonna pay for everything, and I you know what I'm saying, I was like, oh yeah, Like like I honestly wasn't thinking that way. So when we got there, it was like, so, yeah,

I want a funnel cake and this and that. We're gonna go on Space Mountain and you got your cash and I'm like, uh yeah, obviously, and they're like, oh great and put it down, and I'm just like, I didn't understand. I didn't think it was going to be like this. It was painful, yeah, but we have to go out into the real world to really experience that. And you're like, okay, so now I'm a target and that's really hard too. You have to be aware of

that as well, you know. And then it's like, okay, cool, And this is why my parents have been protecting me from That's why I can't go and do this or that's why I never was allowed to do this when I was young. One thing that I've learned, though, is that every child needs something different. At fifteen years old, Jaden and I remember this day specifically. It was probably one of the most heartbreaking moments of my life. You got to a point where you told me straight up.

You were like, mom, I have to leave here to live my life. And I remember thinking to myself, as devastated as I was, I was like, he's right. The time is now, he's fifteen. It's time for him to leave the house. And I would have never agreed with that. I knew. I told Will when Jaden was smaller. I said, would be lucky to keep him in the house till he's sixteen, because he was so mature, he was making films.

He really he could really manage his own life, his own life, like being in this lifestyle, in this world is a bubble, and he wanted out. And I understood that because I didn't have the bubble, and I knew. I knew what having my freedom outside of the bubble, what I gained from that. And I knew that the sooner I let him go, the faster he was going to come back. And it just makes you appreciate, you know, being at home, being with your parents, spending quality of

time with family. You get out into the world and then you kind of just kind of understand things. That's true. I want to make sure people understand our background. My father was physician, he was an antithesiologist, and my mother was a social worker, and we were very They were to quintess sent a black middle class you know, gave me had me at your age number one, I was really young and clueless. Let's just be clear on that.

I was eighteen years old and I was still prepared for the responsibilities of parenting and not only was I young, but I became addicted to drugs, and you know, I was a functioning attict, but I was an attic just the same. So you know, I was consumed with working to support you, but also to support I have it, which is why I had so much freedom. You and Daddy never told really what type of world you guys

came from. Yeah, we just thought that you guys just brought it up out of the ground, you know what I'm saying. But I'm now outside of the bubble. I go out and I meet random person on the street telling me, yeah, man, I worked with your dad back in these days, telling me about my family. I never knew in my life. I mean, it's really yeah, I have all the time, but you definitely here, but they didn't hear it from us. Yeah. I had to hustle.

That's what my life was about because there was a certain kind of lifestyle and way I wanted to live, and she needed a mother to provide security. I couldn't afford it. I never wanted to depend on a man to take care of me. So I was in the streets selling drugs, doing all kinds of stuff. I couldn't even imagine that. Then in my own neighborhood, we were in the midst of a lot of violence that was

just the norm. The fact that I had to live and die by my own hands prepared me to be out here in l A at eighteen by myself and it be nothing. I was like these jokers out here that they think of really doing something, to really running game on somebody. You ain't running game on nobody. Okay, I dealt with killers, homie, You produce what that's cool? You asking me to do what. We had a very different lifestyle than you guys, And even your father grew up in a household that was a lot of abuse.

Your father worked in the ice house. He was building cement walls and helping to restore refrigerators and cooling systems. And you guys grew up thinking about survival. You can only think about food and water and shelter and safety, and like that's the only thing that you were thinking about. You guys grew up as soldiers that met out of the battle that has decided to go and attack together and to conquer. Yes, we did. Will and I were

in constant conflict over Jaden. Where do you think you've got your confidence from because I'm somebody that even to this day, like I'm surprised that I'm even sitting here. My self esteem and my self confidence is pretty low. I can say it's pretty low. I think you've come along. I have. I have come a long way. I have you put up on the ground and pop on the ground are the thing that I appreciate so much about you. Guys.

The level of self confidence that you have to be comfortable in your own skin is amazing to me, and for me, that's the best gift that your mom and dad gave you. Right for me to think that I could ever go into the world and tell anybody else how they should raise their children, I've learned that's an absolute no no. But I feel like people should have the freedom to look at their kids and decide for themselves what their children need versus what the school system

might tell you. To go by your own instinct, and it doesn't necessarily have to look like what anybody else is doing. Exactly the short amount of time that I went to preschool, I felt like, if I imagine that, I feel like it was like three years. Please cool, one day a week. He might have got to I think he made maybe two weeks. I felt like three years, let me tell you. And I had to sit in the parking lot every day. My fould not leave and he would look at me with his little backpack and

people don't give me. Why would you leave me with people who don't love me? And so then I said, jaden't how about this. You're not being left here with people who don't love you, because Mommy is going to be sitting in the parking lot. So that was the agreement that mommy sat in the parking lot. But then sometimes she would like sneak away and get things and come back and I'd be like, you didn't have this,

or you have a different car now. I came back home from school, I was always in a terrible mood. My whole days were just filled with insecurity and fear and and bad PB and j's. But you know, I started homeschooling you guys too, because I wanted you to have an opportunity to be with your dad and to be with me when I was working. There was no way I was leaving you home. You know. Ever, you

always had to be with me. It was great. Yeah, it was really a very interesting time for me as a parent because I don't always know exactly what to say all the time, because what motivates you and what's important is completely different than what was in my engine. For you, it's like everything's good to a certain extent, and then if it's not, I still don't understand the part that's not good the world though, Like that's where

we're at. It's like this is good, but everything else is in three point four million people dying from not having enough water every year and llion tons of plastic on the right. That's where we do relate in regards to we want to help me the world better place. But I'm talking about as far as your personal motivation. Yeah, you know, so it's completely different for us because we already know that based off of what was on the past generation with you, with Daddy, it's like you guys

paved the way for generations to come. So it's like, thank you. What is the part that you think Daddy and I have a difficult time connecting to you with I mean, I only have one like really terrible experience, which is which is with my hair. You're feeling about that was that you felt like you were put in the game too soon, just that the values of the people around me should have been the opposite you and daddy should have been Okay, we value her musical growth

and knowledge more than her popularity. Not so much about just a hit record. Yeah, exactly, not understand that. And I think all that came with it and that was too much. Let me tell you something. When we heard it, I was like, what is this? It was Jay jay Z was like, this is a hit record. He looked at Jay it was like, really he was right, It was right. But also for us that survival mentality, for your dad and I, we were like, oh man, she'll be set up for life and this is her start

with having that mind state of survival. And then you have a child. Well, now with somebody else's survival. What happens if we lose everything because it happens to blow all of our money, what happens to our child? Make them a freaking workaholic? Soldiers always always survived. Let me ask you a question, the upset that came with that. Did you shaving your head have anything to do? What had everything to do with it? So for me, there's a Nirvana lyric that says, I shaved my head and

then I'm not sad. And all this time I thought you wanted to shave your head because my hair was short, Like, so, what was the reason it? Did you think it was gonna make you happy? Did you think it was a symbol of freedom? Wasn't rebellion? It was honestly all of that. You had a hit single out and you were like, this sucks. I don't like this lifestyle. And guess what, to put a big middle finger up to everybody, including my parents, I'm freaking shaving my head because Kurt Cobain

said so, just because I'm done. It's not what I want. When I realized, even as a parent, and this goes back to you, mom, this goes back to you. Okay mm hmm. I hate when I get no because you know what, I think parents have to give themselves much more forgiveness. When you become a parent, you have these huge ideals, even for yourself, because we all are coming into parenting with our own childhood traumas and you're hoping that you can fix all that through your own rearing

of your children, and you can't. Your kids are gonna have their burdens. And even though I see how it might have hurt you. It's what I knew. I remember Will called me and he was like, have you talked about this with Jaden and him wearing a skirt, And I was like, yeah, you had your moment of rebellion. I went to the same thing that Willow went through with with with my hair, with Karate Killers happening at

the same time. I remember being on set with Will and it was such a struggle between he and I in regards to Jaden, and I understand why men take their sons away for like whatever kind of warrior training, because it is completely utterly unfair and unnatural for a woman to have to sit and watch anything like that for her son. And Will and I were in constant remember conflict. I mean to the point that we were worrying over Jaden. Your work ethic was off the chain.

All happened in this room. Yeah, yeah, I did. The poster was shot in this room. Show it was in this spot, right, and that's weird. And I remember I remember the moment because I asked you you went down into that full split and he was in tears, and I was like, I'm done, and he looked at me. He's like, mom, I'm good. Damn. He got up and he said, let's do it again. Even in those battles that we've had over what's too much, what's too little, trying to find the balance in regards to parenting. I'll

tell you one thing about the two of y'all. Y'all know how to work. Y'all work hard, and y'all do it well, and I'm proud of that. I give Jaden props. Jaden the Louis Vuitton ad mean, you decided to wear a skirt. I got an offer to be signed to Louis Women's. Yeah, but Jaden, it's because you were wearing skirts, because they even you got the idea to sign you to Louis Vaton women. Do you understand like being a black young man and the sun of like an uber

masculine killing aliens as hipop star, you know what I mean? Like, Yeah, his feelings on that for sure. I remember Will called me and he was like, have you talked about this with with with with Jaden with whip whip and and and him wearing a skirt. I was like, you have, yeah, so he's pretty happy about it. Simple, don't even say

anything else. Yeah, you talked about wanting to wear skirts to give kids the freedom to give other people to freedom to think out of the box for themselves and not to feel like in doing that that they would be bullied or be attacked in some that comes along with it. Got it. But it's like I wore the skirt so I could look fly. You know what I'm saying. Let's that's why I wore the skirt so that everybody would say she's an innovator. It's an innovator. His heads

in a different place. So here we have some questions from our Facebook watch guys, you got questions from my face? Why choose? Go ahead? Take take one? Take one? Right? Take one? Well, I have an easy one, so you guys keep picking. And this one says, how do you feel about Will's Instagram? I'm not putting you in my Instagram? This is just mine. It's like if you don't want to be oh my, I mean, I'm just saying I wouldn't like put you put you in it and didn't

use you on my Instagram. That's the cheap awesome. He's having a blast doing it, and I'm having a blast is watching it. It's hilarious. What's one rule you're proud of breaking every damn rule there is. Yeah. Is it okay for parents to track their kids remotely? Yes? Actually I was just thinking about this for safety reasons. All of the cars, including mine, need to have trackers in them. Done. Yeah, God, they actually asked for it. Is punishment a necessary part

of parenting? Okay? For me, disappointment is punishment. Mmm. I respect my parents so much that disappointment is like a knife in my heart. I want to be a person that my parents want to look at, that my parents are proud of. That's it. Who family friends, gratitude, gratitude, Thank you for being our our guests. Yes, Jaden, him and Jaded guys. Yes, so are we supposed that when you're doing that? Are you talking to the Facebook family?

Are you? That's just another camera. My first sexual experience was amazing. I wouldn't say amazing like on our next Red Tabletop we were talking about sex. Oh, I knew the night Jaden lost his virginity, did you now? My introduction to sex was obviously walking in on you and Daddy m that's until the next show. Need to do a selfie like all you guys just oh wait, you to join the Red Table Talk family. And become a part of the conversation. Follow us at facebook dot com

slash red table Talk. Thanks for listening to this episode of Red Table Talk podcast produced by Facebook, Watch, Westbrook Audio, and I Heart Radio.