Alicia Keys: Uncensored

don't even know how to get mad Dusty. She's sharing her truths, her fears, and her secret passions. Oh, here we go. Our t t is on fire. This girl, this girl. All right, Alicia's here today we can do something special for Okay, So are you super good? Welcome to the Red Piano. Who we got a red piano piano talk today? How neat? Is that right? You know, I'm so excited to have you me too. I'm honored, I'm so proud of you and excited I have the red nails for the Red Piano. Well, first of all,

I was trying to remember. I was like, how did we meet? Was Superwoman? I think it was a video it was a Superwoman. That's crazy good. I think so unleash. That was the first that you called, and you were like, hey, I really want you to be in the video. That has to be it. But the crazy thing is, I feel like I've known you since the day something about you. You're so kindered to me. I feel like I've never not known you. It was like, hey, that's what we

were doing with me? Man, where did that come from? It's been so interesting that I've become known for songs that are very empowering for women. I realized now that the times that I've written those songs are the times that I've needed those songs. Yeah, that makes total sense. It was usually at times where I felt so unstrong, so unsuperwomanly, so weak or confused and feeling misunderstood that the only way that I knew how to get through that was to write what I was hoping for. Yeah.

That's really powerful, though, because it's almost like medicine, not only medicine for you, but medicine for other people. Know, even one on my mess still up. Yeah, yeah, but that's the thing we are. I didn't realize that ever. When did you realize it? Like yesterday when you say you're a mess, Like, what are the things that I have been doing this thing for many years where I have been down playing or whatever it is that I need because I never want to come off to demanding.

I just need that little bit. I don't need a lie. And I've always thought that that was actually a very righteous, beautiful way to be. I realized that, in fact, what I've been doing to myself and what I've been actually asking the universe to give me is only a little bit.

I've been battling, potentially some self worth issues because for whatever reason, I'm feeling like I'm not deserving of greatness, You're not good enough, and I've been smushing it down for so long that if it's become a habit, a bad habit, I have some clarity as to how that happened. I think at the time that when I first started, I was so young. I mean I was fourteen, and when actually everything exploded, I was eighteen, and so I was a baby just trying to I was like, I

can do it, I'll do it, put it out. Here's what I do. Tell her, And do you know what I was doing? None of it, none of us like, but I don't know what to do exactly. They had such strong ideas about what they wanted for me, and there was a certain sense of desire for me to be inaccessible. Yeah, And I think the reason why I

was mostly protection because I was so young. I was a girl like everybody can't get to her, and so that happened and suddenly didn't access myself either because I was so young, and I was just trying to kind of hang on and make it all makes sense and might not fall on my face, and so I was trying to keep everything together like I think I have it and this is how I do it. Yeah, Yeah, and then I just kept on and that was just it. So it just kind of ended up being that way. Yeah.

I understand the pain of and the pressure and how it exhausts one to have to live up to and unwrap ivel the smile because we always see smiling, especially when there's some pain going on. He's a song. I'm like to smile to the gravel a smile. It's so good. M h. I realized that that, like here we go, like that brought tears to my eyes just to feel so have you been able to identify the fears within you? Fair face? Thank you? Because I need song, my fears.

I don't even know how to get mad. Really, that's deep. I don't even know what it's like to just lose my mind on somebody and just totally lose it. My mother, on another hand, has been very good at being angry and kind of sharing her true feelings, which I actually admired deeply about her. I almost wish So many times I looked at her like I wish I could do that,

which would be so free. But I think because she raised me and it was her and I, there was a certain balance that I had to naturally take in order for the relationship to work. We couldn't both kind of yeah, like somebody had to be So I think I became that person, and then I kind of took that with me everywhere. So I became that person with everybody. Oh I was going to be the figure I would or I was gonna be the one that kind of made everything. Oh no, that's what I learned to be.

I'm going to be the one with the piano, with the thing and the thing that the knights on, the feel of the sweet and the smiling thing and the peacemaker. That that's who I am. But that's not how I am so in thinking about that. How did it make you feel when people would be angry at you? Would you get into a people pleasing molde constantly like how can I make this right? How can I make this right? I'm the one who had to put the bowl with

the ribbon and the sparkly paper over everything. Like if if everything wasn't wrapped up with a bowl by the time I was finished with it, I was not comfortable. Right, It's so sick of me. I'm so annoying. I want to vomit at my own self because it's just like, honestly, seriously and recently, I have to pull myself back from the collar around my jacket and I say, don't fix that. Yeah, I feel you on that one. Oh my god, I feel you, oh my, And it hurt and it's hard. Yeah.

What was the best piece of advice you've ever gotten? Probably from my amazing grandmother. This is one of my favorite songs. And you remind me my grandmother. Does anybody tell you that? I feel like you might remind a lot of people. Um. When she was dying, she lived

with me. Wow, and it was amazing because all my life she had to take care of me, and she was so elegant and strong and fear and sincere, and there was in a car that she didn't write for a person's birthday or celebration or graduation or she was that one right And and I knew I wasn't gonna have her much longer. And I started thinking about mortality a lot. And I remember when I wrote this song, a lot of people thought that, uh, it's about a love of you know, a boyfriend, right, But this was

really about my love for her. And so she taught me to cherish the moments. And she also taught me that if, um, if things weren't happening in the way that you thought they were supposed to happen, that was okay. Yeah, that was okay. I was like, what that's not okay? It is okay, Yeah, you gotta let things be. And so if I had no the time and my time not to be here with your chair, wish won't be had? Was I god that you were looking for? If I count it, feel your touch and a long way with me,

I'd be with shoun. You're here to be every thing that I've been looking for. I don't want to forget. The present is again and I don't wanna take for credit that time you may have hearing me, because Lord only knows I not. The day is not really guaranteed. So every time you hold me, oh me like that's at the lastst time. Yes, every time your kiss me, kiss me like you'll love see me again. Every time it touch me, touch me like that's at the last time, promise that you love me, love me. I can sit

me again. I remember that song. It was like one of my favorites too. Yeah, I did not know it was about your grandmother though. Yeah, it has such a different meaning. Yeah, that's so beautiful. It has such a wow it's powerful. She is we are Yeah, thank you? Yeah, wow, thank you. This is really a gift. What's the biggest misconception that you think people have about you? Probably that I'm very happy or that I'm very strong. Yeah, m but I get the sense that people expect me. They're like,

what do you mean you feel bad? Oh? My favorite one that that they don't think I cursed. I'm like, what the what make you think? I don't? H watch watch watch would you air it at it? Oh? Sh yeah. And it wasn't until recently I realized the whole pedestal ideas like, please kick the pedestal down. I'm good, I'm gonna be on the floor, right. I want to be right good, Right, we all right here together, We are good. Yeah. I could just be me. I can be all my flawed,

beautiful self. You can be your flawed beautiful self. We can just hang out and talk and work through it and sorted out. That's where I want to be anywhere else. That's what I've been using this red table to strip it down. Is that where the no makeup came from, too, you know, the no makeup thing came I was definitely frustrated with just a lot of things in the world. I had like a paper that I wrote down all

the things that piste me off. I'm piste off about the way that if my son wants to paint his nails, it's a big freaking deal. I'm piste off. I'm piste off that if I'm not so put together. And I walked out theside, someone says to me, you look tired. I'm not tired. This is just my face. My yeah, but I didn't even know that because I didn't even know my face. I didn't even know my own face. And when I took off all the stuff and I

looked into the mirror, I didn't know that person. I was like, I would walk by the mir and like I didn't know who that was. Wow, it was that drastic. I looked back today at pictures today and I'm like, jeez, Alicia really didn't really have to read that. There was just so much I was realizing I don't want to know myself more. Then I started getting his head trip about like, oh my gosh, I've done that because I've been told to do that, succumbing to whatever people's expectations

of me are, which is mostly pretty much my whole life. Like, what do you expect for me? Oh? Let me do it? Wow? What would you say the time in your life that has been most challenging. I would say finding the strength to let go of the people that weren't serving me. Yeah, when they were so integral and everything that I had known, Yeah, and I felt almost so dependent on them. I felt in my mind I thought that without them I wouldn't be me. And that took a long time to come

to terms with that. People definitely assist you in your journey, for sure, but they don't make you. Nobody makes you. I make me. But it takes you a minute to get to that space when you realize just yesterday to this day, I'm like, I make me. I know what I need, Alicia, what do you need? Stop? Stop going?

Do you think that I need to know? Yeah, it's like we do this weird thing, me especially, and I want to ask everybody and a mother to tell me what right for some reason, like I don't trust myself, so like no, if it's like the best it could possibly be. And you know what, I realized about that just in my own journey, there have been things in my life that I've done that would sit totally outside of what people think I am right, So that you

have this guilt and you have this shame. So then you lose the trust in yourself, right because you're like I did this, I did that. Those weren't really great decisions. So maybe I don't really know anybody else needs to be telling well, maybe I need to be on this person's journey, right, And so I had to really take a moment and look at my life and go all of it, every bit of it has been to get you to where you are today, to get you to

your freedom. You had to go through those, You had to live who you weren't to know who you are. There is so much tenderness that I'm learning to have with myself, and so much more empathy that I'm learning to have with myself, and just being able to, like, I'm so empathetic about everybody else. I can sit there and come up with every reason as to why whatever. I don't worry. It's just because they're a little frustrated.

There's a lot going on, and you can understand how that could, but I don't have that same tenderness in myself. I just want to talk a little bit about your relationship with Swissit. So you guys have been married for nine years now, how's that going. It's always been so easy for us, easy in the sense of nothing is just easy. There are challenges with everything, but there's a que between you. Yeah, my husband's like such a free spirit. Swisses like in the sky, yeah, the way he thinks.

He's just like he's just in the sky and everything's just all up there. And I'm like, I got Grabma's foot and I'm like here we go, Okay, two seconds. I got you for two seconds he got it, Okay, all right, go and that's like into face and we get along really well like that because we balanced each other. Like he helps me dreams, Yes, help me dream. I've never dreamed like how I did before I met it, right, because the way he dreamed. I'm like, jeez, you get

all those thoughts together, you know. And I've been jealous of him before. I'm like, yep, you got bigger dreams than me. I understand that will dreams huge and we'll have bigger dreams for us that we could even imagine for ourselves. So what has motherhood taught you? Gosh? So the kids, what have they taught me? Yes, they've taught me so much. They've taught me to appreciate the vibe, to appreciate the magic, and to know when it's not there.

Because there's moments when something is actually magic and you're like, you know what, I'm gonna go ahead and stay here and I might be really late tonight, but the magic is here and it's worth it. And then there's other moments where I'm like, there's no magic, and it's taught me I don't have to try to conjure up the magic, make the thing. No, it's not happening the day. Go go make sure you're where you need to be. You know. So that's been cool because I used to just beat

things to death. If I wasn't working nineteen hours a day, I wasn't actually work working. Yeah, stupid. Well, before we go, I'm gonna bring out the fishbowl, Alicia, how do you not lose yourself in a relationship when you are with a successful man? Oh? Okay, question question. Ever since the beginning of our relationship, we always had something that was

called keep it Real, whatever the day was. So if it was Wednesday, you're like, keep it real Wednesday, and I would kind of be our signal that there was something we needed to discuss that might be a little tricky. You know. For me, I've had a history of excusing things that I felt, making excuses for them. Oh well,

he didn't mean that. What he really was probably trying to say, you know, but I knew it bothered me, and I pushed it down and I've shoved it in there and I kept it instead of just like, hey really bothered me. The way you said that made me it feel made me feel like diminished or like you didn't really respect what I had to say, and that made me feel uncomfortable. I only lose myself when I can't speak from you. Don't express yourself, So that that's good.

Another one, Yeah, it's all for you. What's your secret passion? Okay, my secret passion. I truly want to be a party planner. I truly I was waiting for like true, I really like molecular Yeah, I always wanted to work in a bridle shot. That's a good one. I can see that. I can say that I truly yes to the happy, like putting an environment that makes people happy and taking their unique whatever and making it a moment that they'll never forget. I just enjoy it so much. I love surprises.

I love surprising people. I didn't know that I like this before because I didn't ever like to be surprised myself. I just don't surprise me, don't something. My birthday was all tight. I was so tight. That was the problem. I'm so tight. Mosten up, relax and so that's my secret passion. I've considered starting the side business. But you know, party planning dreams. How many supposed to do that? You could do as you want? Is there? Artists? You haven't

collaborated that you'd love to do something together. Well, my lifelong dream is to collaborate with Lauren Hill. That's like a yes, that's like that would be amazing, so iconic. That's gonna be like we're gonna say, that's happy. It hasn't happened yet, but it's going to happen. Big love to her, she's amazing. Thanks for my fishball fishball love. That's it. But before we leave, can you play girl

on fire on our way? If you're saying it real loud, Yeah, real crazy with Alicia all r. Right, we get to the courts, okay, just playing out because we girls don't find We're just gonna kill it. Okay, don't matter. We could be off, we could be all, we could be flat with sharp, that's the point. Right. She's just a girl and she's on fire. How do than a fantasy only like a highway. She's living in a whirland. It's on fire, feel wi catastrophe, but she knows she can

fly away. She got huff beat on the crown and she's burning it down. Got a head in the cloud and she's not making down. This girl is on fire. This girl is on fire. She's walking on fire. This girl is on fire. Yeah, how you did it. It's just been awesome. Thank you so much for having me. Thank you so much for doing this, and for conceptualizing this and being brave enough to be together like this and breaking down barriers and opening us all up to talking.

It's a blessing. I love to hear that. Seriously. Hey, r t T family, Join our Red Table Talk group on Facebook to become part of the conversation, and be sure to follow the show page to catch up on all our episodes. After the episode, we asked Alicia to play around with our theme song, and this is what happened. H m hm m m hmmm. You know it's given me one night. Just keep clearing. It's just instrumental. It's just instrumental. I wish I can listen to song play it.

Don't be all. I just want to be myself. I'm gonna be. I just want to Okay, I just want to be myself. I don't want to be, I just want to be. I like that. Keep going, however, Alkay, so what's the first word the first one? I don't want to be? It was I just want to be myself. I don't want to be said, Okay, I don't want to be anyone anyone. I don't want to be anyone. I just want to be myself. I don't want to be anyone. I just want to be exactly. I got it, I want we got it anything. I just want to

be anyone. Oh, I just want to be myself. I don't want to be anyone. Yeah, I just wanted to be myself. I don't want to be anyone. I just want to be myself. I just want to be. I want to be myself. I don't want to be anyone else. Yeah, I just want to be myself. I just want to be. I just want to be myself all the wait, wait, wait, wait, we gotta get this one. Ti'm real good, a little harmy too ready, And I just want to be myself. I don't want to be anyone else. I just want

to be myself. I just want to be. I just want to be myself. I don't want to bear anyone else. I just want to be myself. Up. I just want to be. Yeah, Oh my god, so beautiful your theme song. To join the Red Table Talk family and become a part of the conversation, follow us at facebook dot com slash red table Talk. Thanks for listening to this episode of Red Table Talk podcast, produced by Facebook Watch, Westbrook Audio, and I Heart Radio.