Today, Kylene walks through what steps can help us navigate triggers and calm ruminating thoughts after betrayal. She discusses: 1. Why safety is the foundation that has to be laid first and what that looks and feels like 2. How subconscious processing is what really moves the needle when we have sticky triggers 3. The importance of identifying core wounds to really resolve the root of the recurring thoughts Previous episodes mentioned: 5 practical ways to create safety after discovering your sp...
Jul 23, 2025•48 min•Season 3Ep. 124
In today's episode, Carly and Kylene are discussing things to consider when navigating betrayal, reconciliation, divorce and children. We understand that this is a complex conversation and this episode is not saying there is one right or wrong answer - rather, we are sharing some thoughts and perspectives that we hope may be helpful. They discuss Carly's personal experience and thoughts around her parents divorce, the importance of bringing children into age appropriate communication, and why ho...
Jul 16, 2025•58 min•Season 3Ep. 123
In today’s episode, Kylene and Patrick discuss what ingredients are involved in a healthy marriage. These include: Liking each other as friends Emotional support for each other Playing on the same team Being willing to apologize and take responsibility for your own behavior Freedom and safety in every aspect of the relationship After betrayal and through addiction recovery, couples have a real opportunity to start from scratch, taking anything that was healthy and good before, and rooting out an...
Jul 09, 2025•1 hr 6 min•Season 3Ep. 122
In today's episode Kylene and Patrick walk through 5 practical and actionable steps to consider after discovery. What actually helps create stability when you're just beginning your recovery journey? Here are 5 steps to consider: Sleeping in separate spaces to give yourself the opportunity to reset and recover Setting boundaries around communication Getting connected to practitioners specializing in addiction and betrayal Making sure the basic modes of addiction are shut down/blocked Create a pl...
Jul 02, 2025•59 min•Season 3Ep. 121
This week Kylene and Patrick discuss 3 mindsets that will set you up for success in recovery and how those impact the betrayed partner and the addict in their journeys. I am more than my circumstances Healing is possible for everyone, but requires change and change is uncomfortable There is something better that is available to me If you are a betrayed partner and would like to connect with Kylene for 1:1 coaching support, please click this link and book a free connection call: https://p.bttr.to...
Jun 25, 2025•51 min•Season 3Ep. 120
In today’s episode, Jackie Newman shares about the journal/workbook she co-authored called Unapologetically You. Unapologetically You is your personal companion on a transformative journey towards inner peace, emotional healing, and self-awareness. This journal offers a collection of guided prompts, exercises, and reflective spaces to help you reconnect with your true self, heal old wounds, and embrace the fullness of who you are. This journal is a reminder that healing is not a destination, but...
Jun 18, 2025•42 min•Season 3Ep. 119
Today’s episode is a speech that Kylene was asked to present about overcoming adversity. She shares some of her own story as well as 3 keys she notices helps her and others move through painful experiences: Value, Clarity and Courage —> Knowing who you are, getting clarity on the future, and having courage to take steps towards it. She shares these 5 truths: You are not responsible for the behavior, reactions or thinking of others. You are responsible for your own behavior - show up with inte...
Jun 11, 2025•33 min•Season 3Ep. 118
In todays episode, Patrick shares his thoughts on 3 important principles for a sex addict to remember in recovery: It takes time - don’t expect your betrayed partner to recover from discovery quickly. There are many factors that play into their ability to heal and everyone’s relationship and trauma level is different. Healing and relational reconciliation is a lifelong commitment. Demonstrate consistency so you can create safety for your partner. Be proactive. Make sure your motivation comes int...
Jun 04, 2025•31 min•Season 3Ep. 117
Sometimes divorce isn’t just admissible, it’s beneficial. When a relationship hinders one or both parties from moving forward in health, divorce may be the best choice. Kylene and Patrick know that there are many reasons that a couple may struggle with this decision including faith based guilt, internalized people pleasing, financial reasons, children etc… This is an nuanced conversation, and one that a single episode certainly will not cover in its entirety. We are not here to tell you what to ...
May 28, 2025•50 min•Season 3Ep. 116
In this episode, Patrick explores the critical role that habits, routines, and daily discipline play in deep, lasting recovery. He emphasizes the value of fully engaging with all the tools and resources available in whatever recovery plan or program you're following. Patrick also shares insights on the power of journaling and the importance of being intentional when replacing old, unhealthy patterns with new, life-giving ones. If you are a betrayed partner and would like to connect with Kylene f...
May 21, 2025•51 min•Season 3Ep. 115
Both the addict in recovery and the betrayed partner may struggle with self confidence, self worth, or both. But are they different? In this episode, Kylene and Patrick unpack the differences between self-confidence and self-worth, sharing how each has wrestled with these issues in their own lives—Kylene with low self-confidence and Patrick with low self-worth. They explore how these struggles have shown up in their personal journeys, the healing work they've done, and how anyone can grow in the...
May 14, 2025•57 min•Season 3Ep. 114
In this weeks episode, Kylene and Patrick discuss how patterns of thinking and behavior like: compartmentalization, the ability to feel deeply, and being someone who’s able to take action and get things done, can be great strengths in recovery, but those same strengths can also be our weaknesses in a different scenario. They discuss how understanding our wounds, identifying the filters we view life through, and processing our emotions can help us challenge our own perspective so we can choose th...
May 07, 2025•46 min•Ep. 113
Meet Matthew and Joanna Raabsmith. In today’s episode, they share their personal story recovering from sex addiction and betrayal trauma. They share the ups and downs of their recovery and the process of healing they have found to be successful not only for themselves but for hundreds of other couples pursuing reconciliation as well. Find their book Building True Intimacy here: https://a.co/d/dnwA2rw Check out their free check-in resource here: https://raabsmithteam.com/free Interested in their ...
Apr 30, 2025•44 min•Season 3Ep. 112
In today's episode, Kylene walks through the 5 phases of recovery, common things you may feel or experience in these phases, and how to know if you are moving through them into the next phase. She offers some questions to consider and steps to take in order to continue moving forward in your healing process. WELCOME to the new RecoverU facebook group - if you are a betrayed partner please join us HERE: www.facebook.com/groups/recoveru2 If you are a betrayed partner and would like to connect with...
Apr 23, 2025•46 min•Season 3Ep. 111
Show notes: In today's episode, Kylene and Patrick talk about shame, how it hinders recovery and wreaks havoc in relationships, and how you can begin to move through it to release it as part of your recovery journey. Interested in joining us for Sexual Integrity 101? Register with the link below! Have more questions? Reach out to PatrickATerhune@gmail.com and we would love to answer them :) SI 101: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSelbTVNK2KEFPCecHhBzF0lXVJw1og_aTb1VJPW-p4XaUrn8g/viewfor...
Apr 16, 2025•46 min•Season 3Ep. 110
In today's episode, Kylene and Patrick discuss 3 pieces of advice that are helpful in theory but not in practice when it comes to marriage and reconciliation. They share how: Don't control your partner Marriage is hard Divorce is not an option ...are often shared with well meaning intent but can actually cause harm and dysfunction in relationships when understood in certain ways. Interested in joining us for Sexual Integrity 101? Register with the link below! Have more questions? Reach out to Pa...
Apr 09, 2025•53 min•Season 3Ep. 109
In today's episode, Kylene shares how recovery has helped her step into her voice again, culminating in a successful concert where Patrick even sang a duet! They share how sticking through recovery during the hard times really allowed them to feel so safe, happy and relaxed together in a way that years ago would have felt impossible. Enjoy bits of the concert here: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL8Q5jecgJblS1r8-hN8MRoAS20JfkDf40 If you are a betrayed partner and would like to connect wit...
Apr 02, 2025•37 min•Season 3Ep. 108
In today's episode, Kylene answers questions submitted by betrayed partners including - how do you deal with the pain of an affair and what happens if he says he loves you, but isn't "in love" with you? She answers these questions in a very broad perspective but encourages each individual to work with a practitioner 1:1 so that your individual pain points and relational nuance can be taken into consideration. Sex ThroughRecovery - Year 1: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/54-sex-through-reco...
Mar 26, 2025•37 min•Season 3Ep. 107
In this episode, Kylene and Patrick talk about the reality of stress, how it can impact your body after betrayal, and how stress won't go away after recovery! They share some personal experiences as well as three things you can do today to help you deal with every stressors: Stay connected in community, determine next steps, and prioritize self care. If you are a betrayed partner and would like to connect with Kylene for 1:1 coaching support, please click this link and book a free connection cal...
Mar 19, 2025•40 min•Season 3Ep. 106
In today's episode, Casey shares his personal story navigating pornography addiction, how technology played a significant role in his exposure and development of addiction, and throughout hte episode we discuss several things we can do as a society and as parents to support our children in living porn free lives. Resources: Gabb Phones - www.GABB.com Needed Navigation (book) - https://a.co/d/aEWD7xE SheRecovery.com - Women’s recovery Top Gun (book) - https://puredesire.org/shop/top-gun/ Parent T...
Mar 12, 2025•53 min•Season 3Ep. 105
In today's episode we answer questions ranging from how we met to how we navigate conflict, and how we help each other through tough times. We have included the questions with a link below in case you would like to use them in a conversation with your partner! Questions in today's episode: https://tinyurl.com/9kjca7m9 If you are a betrayed partner and would like to connect with Kylene for 1:1 coaching support, please click this link and book a free connection call: https://p.bttr.to/3ttk0Ql Join...
Mar 05, 2025•1 hr 6 min•Season 3Ep. 104
It’s always easier to identify negative patterns in someone else. In today’s episode, Kylene shares four common patterns that can show up in both the addicted partner and the betrayed partner — but in different ways: Qualifying and Comparing Using Absolutes like “Always” and “Never” Looking Outward Instead of Inward Dehumanizing Thoughts or Behaviors While these patterns may show up very differently, we can all get stuck in them from time to time. In this episode, Kylene discusses healthier, alt...
Feb 26, 2025•48 min•Season 3Ep. 103
In today's episode, Patrick shares four ways a recovering addict can show up for their betrayed partner while demonstrating consistency, sincerity and healing: Make an effort to understand Focus on your own healing Practice your responses Don't seek her external validation We often mention the "Help Her Heal" workbook and encourage you to utilize the exercises within the book while personalizing them for your own relationship. Purchase help her heal here: https://a.co/d/6WvocpH If you are a betr...
Feb 19, 2025•23 min•Season 3Ep. 102
Erin Stretar (pronounced Streeter ) shares three powerful tools she recommends to all her clients navigating betrayal recovery in this week’s RecoverU episode. Discover how journaling, self-soothing techniques, and building a strong support system can empower your healing journey. Erin provides practical tips and real-life applications you can start using today! Learn more about her work and connect with Erin at estretartherapy.com As you are setting up your support system, if you have family or...
Feb 12, 2025•41 min•Season 3Ep. 101
In this episode, Kylene and Patrick walk through how to use a polygraph (lie detector test) as part of recovery, reconciliation and trust building after betrayal and discovery. Some questions they answer are: Why use a polygraph? How to find a polygrapher What to look for in a polygrapher- interview questions to consider Best practices for creating questions to be asked on the polygraph If you are in Ohio or willing to travel - we recommend Dan Forman for polygraph services: https://www.ohiopoly...
Feb 05, 2025•58 min•Season 3Ep. 100
Congratulations to Patrick on 4 years in recovery! I'm so proud of you. In this episode, Kylene briefly shares what it feels like to be hitting the 4 year mark of recovery together, and why the intense and purposeful effort they made has truly been worth it. If you are a betrayed partner and would like to connect with Kylene for 1:1 coaching support, please click this link and book a free connection call: https://p.bttr.to/3ttk0Ql Join the free RecoverU Facebook page for betrayed partners: www.f...
Jan 31, 2025•14 min•Season 3Ep. 99
Divorce feels similar to being widowed. You've lost your partner, you've lost the life and the future you thought you had, and you experience a significant amount of grief. Divorce after betrayal can feel isolating and overwhelming. This is why Kim Hansen Petroni has written her workbook: "Not a Casserole Widow" to provide education and cultivate self confidence in betrayed spouses pursuing divorce. Learn more about divorce after betrayal, and how Not a Casserole Widow can help you feel more emp...
Jan 29, 2025•33 min•Season 3Ep. 98
Life can be stressful on its own, but navigating recovery after addiction and betrayal adds layers of tension, overwhelming emotions, and uncertainty. In today’s episode, Kylene and Patrick explore how the fruits of the Spirit can serve as a powerful self-reflection tool to guide growth and healing in your recovery journey. By focusing on cultivating love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control, we create a foundation for lasting transformation. Let’...
Jan 22, 2025•49 min•Season 3Ep. 97
Is there a difference between sobriety and recovery? Is recovery just a longer version of sobriety? In this episode of RecoverU Kylene and Patrick share their perspective on the differences between sobriety and recovery and the type of actions and behaviors it takes to move into a life of recovery, and ultimately freedom, after a life of sex or porn addiction! Please fill out this (short!) feedback survey helping us to know what YOU would like to be in future episode of RecoverU! https://docs.go...
Jan 15, 2025•55 min•Season 3Ep. 96
Feeling stuck and not sure how to move forward? In today’s episode, Kylene and Patrick discuss choosing who you want to be so you don’t stay stuck in 2025. They provide five practical tips and actionable resources to help you align with your values and vision for the future. Their approach emphasizes digging deeper than surface-level goals, empowering you to define your identity and who you want to become as you move forward. List of core values: https://simplish.co/blog/core-values-list Visione...
Jan 08, 2025•47 min•Season 3Ep. 95
