¶ Body Image and Body Dysmorphia
Hi there , welcome to Reclaim You , a podcast published by the Reclaim Therapy team . Join us as we share stories , tools and insights on how to reclaim you in the wake of trauma , disordered eating and body shame . Grab your coffee , tea or your favorite snack and get cozy , because we're about to dive in . Welcome back to Reclaim You .
Today , we're talking with Emily about body image and body dysmorphia . Really excited for this conversation . How are you doing , Emily ? Good , How are you ? I'm doing well . I'm doing well . Excited to chat about all of this .
I was excited to talk about body image and how we can work on body image .
When I was thinking of this , i knew that you'd be game for talking about all of the things and really getting curious about all like what goes into it . Totally , yeah , what do you feel like got you interested in ? Well , i think we talked about this in your Meet Emily video .
Tell us more about your interest in working with body image , self-image , all that .
Yeah , absolutely . I think that really comes from my own personal experience and journey with body image . That was something growing up . I think a big factor in how we develop body image is diet culture and our exposure to diet culture , our exposure to media . That was always something that was really a struggle for me .
I would see all these celebrities and people I looked up to . It was like , oh , they look like this , i should look like this . I would hear how their bodies were talked about and like this is good , this is bad . That was how I formed my own body image . It was really really hard because it was set against these very , very impossible , unrealistic standards .
Yeah , it was until I graduated college was like in my early 20s that I was kind of introduced to this other idea that sure , body image is typically focused on the physical , but when we bring in these kind of more innate qualities and values , it helps so much with body image . It really just kind of redefined like I am so much more than my body .
It's not just about how I look . Body image behind me means so much more instead of just like this is what you look like physically .
Love that . That feels like a really great entry point into just defining what is body image . maybe bring us into the layers of how you kind of conceptualize and define body image On its surface .
Like most people would define body image as how we perceive ourselves and our bodies physically . I think , as we do work around body image , we bring in a lot more than just the physical . But I think most people's understanding of body image and kind of society definition of body image is very much physical .
So , like I was saying , i think the diet culture , the media , plays a big role in that They kind of tell us like this is the ideal body , like these are the things that you should be doing , and I think that that really kind of trickles down to the everyday person being like okay , like this is what my body is supposed to look , like Yeah , so I think
that plays a big role . I also think the culture that we're in plays a big role . So , you know , based on our cultural background , i think different things are valued , different things are idealized , because if we look at it like depending on your own cultural background , like different things are kind of glorified .
So I think that those are the biggest contributing factors to like what kind of makes up body image on the surface , kind of what is the standard , and then kind of how we perceive ourselves based on that standard .
Yeah , yeah . So how do you feel like , or how do you see that trickling down into other kind of perceptions of self ? and the things that are coming to my mind right now are like worthiness or like good enoughness or , you know , lovability , like what people consider like is beautiful . Yeah , absolutely .
I think it's much like diet culture world , like it's very black and white . So it's like if I look like this , if my body looks like this , if I can achieve this , i'm good , i'm worthy , i'm lovable , i'm beautiful , and if I can't , something's wrong with me . Yeah , like I'm doing something wrong , i'm the problem .
Yeah , yeah , that feels so important that like internalize , like it's shame , right , internalize , shame of like there's something wrong with me . I'm the problem , i'm bad , i'm not good , all of those things .
What in reality ? it's just these really really impossible standards that were held up against that really no one even looks like .
Yeah , so on the other side of this so there's there's body image , right and struggles with body image . I know in our practice a lot of folks that are , you know , working with the therapists on our team are working on things around body image and I think underneath of that is also , you know , body dysmorphia .
So I'm curious if you can talk some about body dysmorphia , about you know what . what is body dysmorphia ? It is like a formal diagnosis And what are some of the ways that it it shows up for people . if someone's wondering , like do I struggle with body dysmorphia ? like what are some symptoms that they might experience around that ?
So I think and I've heard a lot body image struggles and body dysmorphia kind of used interchangeably , but they're definitely very different .
Yeah , so body dipmorphia , like you were saying , it is a formal diagnosis , so you can be diagnosed by like a doctor , a therapist , a psychologist , psychiatrist , but it kind of falls more on almost like the obsessive end of things .
So normally people with body dysmorphia are very , very preoccupied with what they look like And that can look like spending hours , you know , focused on their appearance , what they're wearing . A lot of times there's a fixation on a body part , so it's like I'm focusing on my nose or I'm focusing on my arms or I'm focusing on and that can change .
A lot of times it does change . But but I think one of the the keys there is how pervasive that is in their , in their daily life . Like it really takes up a lot of time And a lot of times what they're focused in on is something that to another person probably wouldn't be noticeable at all .
So it's very much this , this idea that this thing is very , very wrong or this thing is very , very noticeable when you know people are around them probably aren't noticing it at all .
And I know the impact of that is really great for people who are struggling with body dysmorphia and dysmorphic kind of tendencies , how it pulls people out of their lives and out of relationships , out of connection with themselves and other people . What are , what are some of the ?
I guess some of the side effects will say the side effects are the results of really struggling very deeply with body dysmorphia .
So I think that isolation piece is huge pulling out a relationship , saying no to , you know , connecting with others , being in social situations , because there is this fear that , well , i'm so preoccupied about this perceived flaw , like other people have to be as well , and then even bringing in that idea of worthiness .
You know , how could people like me , how could I be lovable with this thing , when in reality , you know , people aren't , people aren't noticing this , people aren't paying attention to this . There's a big fear that people are paying so much attention to how I look or this thing that I'm worried about , so that I think that isolation piece is huge .
A lot of times spent , like I was saying , like body checking , looking in the mirror , getting ready , can be really , really difficult . There's a lot of attempts to hide the flaw , so it's whether that's through makeup , clothing , i think , sometimes to the extreme .
There are like cosmetic procedures to try to change your body , working out like trying to change the shape of your body in that way . Yeah , i think you know , comparison is another big one , like constantly trying to figure out like , what do I look like ? Like , can I compare myself to someone ? Can I compare myself to how I look in the mirror .
Can I compare myself to photos ?
There's comparison is a big part of it as well , i think Yeah even comparing right , like a previous version of yourself to the current version of yourself and getting kind of stuck in that loop of looking and longing and what can I do to get back there or to change that , or this is how I really look and which can lead to more body checking , and just the
cycle goes and goes and goes and goes .
Obviously , people who struggle with body image can struggle with , maybe , dysmorphic tendencies , but someone who's really , you know , struggling with body dysmorphia , all of those things that you shared will probably maybe show up in different ways of course , everyone's different but the preoccupation and the body checking and the social isolation and just like the anxiety it
feels , like the anxiety and the depression that can kind of come alongside of it , feel so big .
And I think that's the big difference there , like , yes , people who struggle with body image can definitely have these tendencies , but I think the big difference there is just the intensity of how it's felt and the time spent on focusing on some of these insecurities .
It's not just , you know , i had a fleeting thought , or I had a bad day , i had a bad moment , like it's very all-consuming to the point that some people it's hard to even leave their home .
Absolutely , and what you said earlier about folks when you're out and about the people that you're with are likely not noticing whatever it is that you're focusing on And it feels important to just kind of name that .
That doesn't mean that you're like wrong or there's something wrong with you for thinking that other people are going to notice this and all that comes along with that . I think what it does is it points to just like the pain and the suffering and the insecurity and that like there are needs there .
Sure , maybe we don't know what they are in the here and now , but there are needs there that like this part of you , this body dysmorphic part , is like trying to meet and trying to protect you from or shield you from Absolutely .
Yeah , it's definitely , and that's one of the things that I think is so hurtful , like a lot of times , people do brush it off . It's like , oh well , it's in your head , or like it's a bad idea .
Get over it .
Yeah , it's not Like it's very real and it's very . It's so hard to go through And I think you're right . I think it is that need and tying it back to this idea of like body image and worthiness and loveability , like a lot of times it is , i think , that fear of like . If people are noticing this , what are they going to think about me ?
Right , right , am I lovable ? Am I worthy ?
Like , am I safe to operate or function in the world , just as I am Right If a lot of people doesn't feel that way .
Right , and if people notice this , what does that mean for me ?
Yeah , that feels so important to validate that , like no , it's not Wrong or bad , like it makes sense . It makes a lot of sense . Yeah , yeah , absolutely
¶ Body Dysmorphia and Disordered Eating Intersect
So . Then it with body dysmorphia and even just general body image struggles , the clashing of eating disorders and disordered eating . Let's kind of go there . That's a big one , but let's go there as best we can .
It is absolutely too big things stand out to me there about How these things intersect . So I think control is a big piece here and I think more on , like the body dysmorphia side , it's it's a way to change your body . So it's , it's this idea of I don't like this . You know , i'm Fixated on this .
I I'm afraid that people are going to think poorly of me Because of whatever it is about my body , like what can I do to change my body ? And sometimes that is , you know , maybe I'm going to Work out excessively or I'm going to control What I eat , when I eat , how much I eat . I think that that's really where those things intersect .
This idea of This is a way to change my body , but it's also a way to feel in control . Yeah , things you don't really control .
Yeah , definitely , definitely . And then if you can change your body , then you may reach that like loveability , worthiness , safety , right to operate in the world freely . And I think the question that I always think of is like when is enough enough ? like is there actually and enough ?
Or does it keep shape-shifting and morphing and unfortunately , I think it normally does Keep shifting Yeah , totally , which keeps people stuck , not actually ? Yeah , it's not actually about our bodies at the end of the day . Yeah , about these bones underneath . You know , am I lovable , am I worthy , am I safe to be my authentic self ? Mm-hmm , and .
And we kind of put that on our bodies like well , if I look a certain way , i can be . And then When our bodies change , it's . It's this kind of very scary moment of like why I changed things , but like I still don't feel like this , so so maybe it wasn't enough right , and Then we end up in that cycle .
Yeah , yeah , the cycle that's so Exhausting and draining when we , when we think about the cycle of all of this , what , what are some ways that you See out of this cycle of behaviors , of thoughts , of self-beliefs again like another big one .
But what are some things that come to mind when you think of , like , strategies to exit the cycle or strategies to be with body Dysmorphia or work with body image ?
So I think awareness of it is is kind of the first Big piece . Like it's gonna be hard to work on these things if you don't understand What's going on .
So so having an awareness of it , talking about it Whether that's with a loved one , a support person , a professional I think that that is Always the best first step and ideally , a professional who really understands what's going on , because they're are Unfortunately those people out there that say , oh , it's in your head or like you're it's a vanity thing or You
know it's very shaming . So I think working with someone who gets it is is really important in Finding ways out of that cycle , because if we just kind of meet it with more shame , we're gonna stay stuck .
Right , yeah , we're gonna like deepen it , and I'm thinking about , like the piling of shame and how , like the oppressiveness That just keeps us like cycling through the same things , just with more shame .
Yeah , yeah absolutely Absolutely , so that I , i think , is a really important first step . More concretely , i think that there are things that we can try to avoid . So If you're noticing that you're body-checking a lot , like , can we try to cut down on on the amount of body-checking ?
like , is there Something else that would feel right to do in that moment instead , like , do we need some affirmations , do we need some sticky notes on the mirror ? Like anything that might work for you to try to take a step back from that and be like okay , is this , is it serving me , is this helping me or is this , how's this making me feel ?
and if this isn't making me feel good , is there something else that I can do that that might meet my needs right now in a different way that feels more Compassionate ? Yeah , so I think doing some of those concrete things Absolutely is helpful
¶ Body Image and Connecting With Supports
. Connecting with others is big because this is so isolating . I think really making that point to Connect with your supports is really important as you work your way out of the cycle , definitely and I'm I'm thinking of that like minimizing Body-checking , you think you're right .
That feels so important and and also like very hard for people of like . When you have these Rituals of like , okay , i go to the mirror and I turn this way and I turn that way and I feel this and I look at this and I zoom in on this .
Right , it can become these really deep and extensive Rituals to engage in again that that can feel like deeply regulating in some ways . Right , yeah , and so to start to to work with some of those rituals in ways that feel okay for you I don't think anyone in the practice is gonna be like let's smash the ritual and just you know , like see what happens .
You know that feels really Disregulating , even talking about it .
Yeah , I'm for everybody like there are different things that are gonna feel right for different people , right .
Then we just have to figure out what those things are absolutely , and maybe it's setting a timer or changing up the order of your ritual And seeing what happens , or like allowing yourself to go to town for five minutes and then counter that five minutes with something That's deeply self-caring . And I think you know You're right .
When we did a recent event called horseship day , where our office is located , we had a mirror , a body affirmation mirror , where people could write affirmations in a sharpie or a dry erase Marker just to remind people that , like you're so much more than your body , can you look in this mirror with a different lens , with a different pair of glasses other that
the dysmorphic or shameful Glasses that people you know can just go like default to ?
I think that's a really important second Step there . So like , yes , we can do , you know , disrupt the ritual , do affirmations , things like that . I think the second step there is can we expand on what body image means , you know ?
can we take it past this just very physical thing and can we bring in more of , you know , my , my body is just kind of the vessel that contains who I am as a person . Like , who am I as a person ? What are my values , what are my Interest , what makes me me ?
can I start to focus on those things and and kind of prioritize those things as The things that make me who I am and and give me worthiness , give me kind of this innate love ability , not how I look .
Yeah , yeah , that shift from looking at your body to Being in your body , so like body image versus embodiment .
I think that's a great point of , yeah , of finding ways and I think this is where , like , working with a therapist can be really helpful Or someone that you trust and care about and has lots of wisdom But how to shift from that like external view to the internal knowing and feeling , and being So much harder than just saying it , just to say that right , like
to say that it's like lovely and it's so hard .
Yeah , yeah , and I think another piece that's really hard . There's a lot of acceptance work , i think as well , around Maybe Recognizing . Do any of us know what we look like like ? I think that that's a big question that can come up in this work .
If I can just figure out what I look like , like , i'll feel okay , like I won't be so anxious , these things will get better , and I've seen it in clients and I've seen it with myself . Like this acceptance piece of word , we're not gonna know that .
Yeah , and that's okay , because at the end of the day , that's not what makes me Important , that's not what makes me worthy . It's these , these things within me . Yeah , definitely . Again , another thing that's like much easier to say .
Then I kind of wrap your your head around and actually practice , but I think that that's another really important piece there as well .
Yeah , and when you just said the word practice , that it stands out so much because Remembering for everyone , right for us as humans in the world , like body image , body stuff , like it's this lifelong journey really and it's these practices That bring you back to yourself , like we're all going to have body image triggers because we live in a really shitty culture ,
right , there's lots of expectations , lots of norms , quote-unquote , and it's like how can we come back to the practice , how can we come back to embodiment ?
How can we accept that , even accepting that you don't like your body , to accept that and not Deepen into shame because you think you should like your body , right , that can be so altering for your experience in the world .
Absolutely , and I always like to stress that with clients because I think it can .
It can be such a frustrating Point to get stuck at because you know , we hear all these things about like body positivity , and it's like I have to look my body all the time And I think a lot of times clients and like I've been there as well You get so frustrated because it's like I'm doing this work but like I'm still having these thoughts I don't like
how this looks , i don't like how that looks and it's very much . Well , i'm not making progress and I always like to point out You just said , like in the world that we live in , we're gonna have triggers , we're gonna have days where we don't feel great about the way that we look . It's , it's learning . How can we respond to that ?
like , how can you respond to that in in a more compassionate way Instead of in a way , like you were saying , i feel shame . I have to change something . Something's wrong with me .
I should be .
Right , right , like those thoughts are very normal . So , yeah , i love that you pointed that out , because I think that that is something that we don't acknowledge enough that just because you have a thought like that , it doesn't mean that you're not making progress and then working on body image , definitely .
Are there any other tips or concrete tools that you have off the top of your head that could be supportive for someone who's tuning in or watching and thinking , ah , this is interesting . Maybe I could try a little something And , of course , we're not your therapist , Right Like not your therapist Yeah .
So what are the little tips and tools that you can take with you ? maybe ?
Yeah , yeah . So talk to your therapist always , always , always first ,
¶ Body Image and Mindfulness
always . Yeah , i think , going on the idea of embodiment , because I think like embodiment is such a big part of this work Can we bring in some mindfulness . Can we bring in some grounding , like can we do a body scan and then just kind of see you know what's kind of the best coming up , like what am I feeling ?
Can we do something mindful , like go for a mindful walk , listen to some music , see how that feels in our body ? Can we do some gentle , stretching , yoga , things like that , just to really start to understand like this is how my body feels And like I'm able to kind of tune into that , instead of having this situation where it's like me against my body .
How can I learn to work with my body ? And there are ways to start to do that .
Hmm , yeah , and when you said that , i thought of a poet and I'd have to look up the exact quote that they said because I can't totally remember it , but it was something along the lines of can you look in the mirror and gaze back at yourself and can that like just be enough ? I don't know .
That popped into my head as you were saying that , yeah , i'm going to have to look that up and put it in the show notes , but it feels important to be able to , like gaze back at yourself with acknowledgement and what it feels like to be on the other side of that , tapping into all that swirling inside or maybe it's not swirling , i don't know , everyone's
different , but that just kind of popped into my head when you're sharing that .
I think sometimes , like the tort and body mint work , like it sounds intimidating sometimes and like it is like there's a lot of work there . But I think sometimes acknowledging like , yes , embodiment work is very , very important when working with body image , body dysmorphia .
But there are these ways to kind of get started with that , to kind of tune in more , whether that is through something mindful , something grounding . So I always kind of recommend that as well , like what's something easy to just start to get you attached with your body .
Yeah , like a tip toe in You don't have to stay there , right , you don't have to stay there . Yeah , then maybe this like bid for relationship can be enough .
And something you know , make it enjoyable , make it as not intimidating as possible .
So if that's like , i just want to kind of sit , you know , do a short meditation , or I want to like listen to music and like dance and like move my body in that way We have feels , or I want to go for a walk and focus on what I can hear , like something like that that just feels safe , comforting , but at the same time is still getting affected .
And I think my favorite kind of concrete tool , if it works for you , is affirmations Just just being able to kind of re center , re , re ground in that way of just having an affirmation that feels good and put it up if you need to .
You know , if that , if that feels helpful , if there's a mirror that you you tend to body check in , or an area or something like that , like , put your affirmations up to really remind yourself I'm more than this , i'm more than just my body .
Yeah , and if you're in need of some affirmations , shameless plug . We do a real once per week of of body affirmations where you know everyone in every therapist in the practice shares a body affirmation that , like I said , we post months per week . So so head over to Instagram and check that out .
There's a what's it called a highlight in the Instagram profile with all of the body affirmation reels that we've done so far . So there's some really like just nice places to start if you're interested in getting curious about body affirmations and what lands and what doesn't land . Well , thank you so much , emily . These are .
There's a really helpful tools and little tips and food for thought , I think , for for anyone who's on this journey of body image work , which I think is most people , yeah , so thank you , of course It was . It was great chatting , okay .
So we'll be back next week with another episode with Casey , and if you're looking for body image support , eating disorder support or trauma treatment , head over to our website at wwwrecleantherapyorg . Check us out and let us know if you have any questions . See you later . Thank you so much for joining us on this episode of Reclaim .
You Be sure to like , comment and subscribe and check us out on YouTube at Reclaim You . If you're looking to start therapy for trauma , disordered eating or body image concerns , head over to our website at wwwreclaimtherapyorg to learn more about us and our work . We'll be back next week with another episode . Until then , take good care of yourself .