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HEY, EVERYONE, WELCOME TO THE SHOW. I'M SUPER EXCITED TODAY BECAUSE WE HAVE PASTOR OF CELEBRATION CHURCH, TIM TIMBERLAKE IN THE BUILDING. PASTOR TIM TIMBERLAKE: OH, WHAT AN HONOR, REBECCA. THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR HAVING ME ON THE PODCAST.
THANK YOU FOR BEING HERE. AND WE'RE GONNA BE TALKING ABOUT YOUR NEW BOOK, THE ART OF OVERCOMING: LETTING GOD TURN YOUR ENDINGS INTO BEGINNINGS.
YES.
WHICH IS A BEAUTIFUL TITLE.
THANK YOU.
SO, TAKE US BACK TO GROWING UP AND YOU HAVING TO EXPERIENCE YOUR OWN LOSS IN YOUR LIFE.
YEAH. SO, GROWING UP IN AND AROUND PARENTS WHO ARE IN MINISTRY, YOU GET THIS, YOU ARE CONSTANTLY IN THE LIMELIGHT. WE CALL IT THE FISHBOWL. YOU KNOW, PEOPLE ARE ALWAYS WATCHING AND PEOPLE ALWAYS HAVE AN OPINION. AND SO GROWING UP AROUND CHURCH, IN CHURCH, ALWAYS KIND OF INVOLVED IN CHURCH IN SOME ASPECT, YOUR PARENTS BECOME YOUR HEROES. AND YOU GET AN OPPORTUNITY TO SEE THE CALL OF GOD ON THEIR LIFE. FROM KIND OF ITS INFANCY STAGES, UNTIL YOU KNOW, THE REST OF THE WORLD SEES THEM.
AND I HAD AN OPPORTUNITY TO GO ON THAT JOURNEY WITH MY PARENTS, KIND OF SEEING THEM GO FROM NO ONE KNOWING WHO THEY ARE, TO EVERYONE SEEMINGLY KNOWING WHO THEY ARE. AND THE UPSIDE TO THAT IS, YOU GET A CHANCE TO GO WITH PEOPLE ON A JOURNEY. THE DOWNSIDE TO THAT IS EVERYONE GETS AN OPPORTUNITY WITH THEIR OPINION TO JOURNEY WITH YOU, EVEN IN THE STRUGGLES AND DIFFICULTIES OF LIFE. AND IN 1997, MY FATHER WAS DIAGNOSED WITH TERMINAL CANCER.
AND AS A RESULT OF THAT, HAD DIFFICULTIES LIVING FOR THE REMAINDER OF HIS LIFE, WHICH WAS FIVE YEARS. AND SO IN THAT PROCESS -
I ACTUALLY WANT YOU TO GIVE THE DETAILS OF THAT.
YEAH. SO HE HAD TERMINAL THROAT CANCER, STAGE 4. THE DOCTORS GAVE HIM A VERY SHORT WINDOW TO LIVE. THEY ALSO GAVE HIM THE OPTION TO GET AN EXPERIMENTAL SURGERY, WHICH HADN'T BEEN DONE AT THE TIME, BUT I BELIEVE FOUR OTHER TIMES. AND SO IT WAS REALLY A SMALL WINDOW OF SURVIVAL. IF HE SURVIVED, LIFE WOULD BE VERY DIFFICULT, OR THEY SAID THAT IT WOULD. AND SO HE OPTED FOR IT BECAUSE IT WOULD EXTEND HIS LIFE, EVEN IF IT WAS FOR AN EXTRA WEEK OR TWO. AND SO THE SURGERY WAS VERY INVASIVE.
THEY CUT HIM FROM THE BACK OF ONE EAR, OPENED UP HIS NECK, AND THE SCAR ENDED UP ON THE BACK OF THE OTHER EAR. AND WHEN THEY OPENED UP HIS NECK, THEY REMOVED A TUMOR THE SIZE OF A CHIPMUNK. WHEN THEY DID THAT, THOUGH, THEY REMOVED A QUARTER OF HIS TONGUE. AND SO HE WAS NO LONGER ABLE TO SWALLOW, NO LONGER ABLE TO DRINK OR EAT ANYTHING. HE WAS FED THROUGH A G-TUBE FOR THE REMAINDER OF HIS LIFE. AND SO MY FATHER WAS A BIG GUY. 6'5, 265 POUNDS. JUST COUNTRY STRONG.
AND OVER THE NEXT FEW MONTHS, I JUST SAW HIM DWINDLE AND BECOME A SHELL OF WHO I KNEW MY HERO TO BE. AND SO FOR ME -
HOW OLD WERE YOU WHEN THAT HAPPENED?
I WAS 12.
SO YOU WERE IN A REALLY IMPORTANT PHASE OF YOUR LIFE.
OH, MAN. I WAS IN THE MOST FORMATIVE YEARS OF MY LIFE. I REMEMBER, THEY GOT THE DIAGNOSIS SHORTLY AFTER MY BIRTHDAY. AND I REMEMBER HE ENDED UP DYING AND TRANSITIONING THE DAY AFTER MY 18TH BIRTHDAY. AND SO, YOU KNOW, OVER THAT FIVE-YEAR WINDOW OF TIME, HE'S FIGHTING FOR HIS LIFE, MY MOM IS FIGHTING FOR HIS LIFE. I'M IN THESE FORMATIVE YEARS AND I'M TRYING TO DISCOVER, OKAY, WHAT DOES LIFE LOOK LIKE MOVING FORWARD, AND REALLY TRYING TO DO MY BEST TO BECOME A MAN, YOU KNOW, FROM 12 TO 18.
YOU KNOW, THOSE YEARS YOU ARE A SPONGE AS A YOUNG BOY AND YOU JUST WANT TO KIND OF ABSORB THE HEROES AND THE MENTORS AND THE PEOPLE SPEAKING INTO YOUR LIFE. AND TO HAVE HIS VOICE STILL ECHO FROM A DISTANCE, JUST WASN'T ENOUGH FOR ME. AND I STARTED TO ALLOW THE WRONG VOICES TO SPEAK INTO MY LIFE. AND REALLY KIND OF GO DOWN THIS PATHWAY THAT WAS OPPOSITE OF WHAT THEY HAD RAISED ME TO BE LIKE.
YEAH.
AND I WAS FRUSTRATED WITH GOD, AND I WAS ANGRY WITH GOD AND DISAPPOINTED WITH GOD. AND REALLY JUST STARTED TO KIND OF REBEL, AND SAY, YOU KNOW WHAT? IF THIS IS THE WAY GOD IS, I DON'T WANT TO SERVE A GOD LIKE THAT.
YEAH.
AND NOT REALLY HAVING MY FAITH ROOTED IN MY OWN PERSONAL RELATIONSHIP, BUT IT WAS ROOTED IN THEIRS. AND SO I KNEW ABOUT GOD, BUT I DIDN'T KNOW HIM. AND THE BEST WAY FOR ME TO EXPLAIN IT FOR OUR LISTENERS AND VIEWERS, IS LIKE READING A HISTORY BOOK. YOU KNOW, YOU GET AN OPPORTUNITY TO READ AND LEARN ABOUT ABRAHAM LINCOLN AND KNOW ABOUT HIM, BUT YOU CAN'T SAY YOU KNOW ABRAHAM LINCOLN UNTIL YOU MEET ABRAHAM LINCOLN.
AND SO YOU KNOW ALL THESE FACTS ABOUT HIM, YOU KNOW SOME OF THE DATES, YOU KNOW SOME OF THE HISTORY, BUT YOU DON'T KNOW WHO HE IS. YOU KNOW ABOUT HIM. AND IT WAS LIKE THAT FOR GOD FOR ME. I KNEW ABOUT GOD, I KNEW SOME OF THE FACTS ABOUT GOD. I KNEW SOME OF THE INCREDIBLE TESTIMONIES AND STORIES ABOUT MEN AND WOMEN IN THE BIBLE AND ALL THESE GREAT THINGS THAT I READ ABOUT. BUT I DIDN'T KNOW WHO HE WAS BECAUSE I DID NOT HAVE A PERSONAL RELATIONSHIP WITH HIM.
AND IT WASN'T UNTIL AFTER MY FATHER HAD DIED AND I HAD SEEN HIM WRESTLE THROUGH LIFE AND REALLY STAND FIRM AND REALLY CONCRETE IN HIS FAITH, AND REALLY LIVE OUT A LIFE THAT WAS AN EXAMPLE TO ME OF WHAT STEADFASTNESS LOOKED LIKE, RESILIENCE LOOKED LIKED, ENDURANCE LOOKED LIKE. IT WASN'T UNTIL HE DIED THAT I REALLY ESTABLISHED A RELATIONSHIP WITH JESUS FOR MYSELF WHERE I KNEW HIM FOR MYSELF. AND MY PERSPECTIVE OF GOD CHANGED. MY PERSPECTIVE OF JESUS CHANGED.
AND IT WAS NO LONGER SERVING HIM BECAUSE OF WHAT HE COULD DO. IT WAS JUST SERVING HIM BECAUSE OF WHO HE WAS.
YEAH.
AND, YOU KNOW, WHEN MY HEART TURNED TOWARDS JESUS AND MY MIND WAS SHIFTING TOWARDS A TRUE RELATIONSHIP WITH HIM, THAT'S WHEN GOD REALLY STARTED TO CALL ME INTO MINISTRY. AND I HAD NO DESIRE TO BE IN MINISTRY. AND I HAD NO - SEEING YOUR PARENTS IN MINISTRY AND SEEING HOW PEOPLE TREAT YOUR PARENTS AND JUST THE UGLY SIDE OF MINISTRY, IT'S NOTHING THAT YOU WOULD REALLY WANT TO GET INTO.
YEAH.
IF YOU KNOW. AND GOD WAS LIKE, NOPE, I WANT YOU. I'M CALLING YOU. I'M ASSIGNING YOU INTO MINISTRY. AND I FOUGHT IT AS HARD AND AS LONG AS I COULD UNTIL I COULD NO LONGER FIGHT. AND WHEN I ACCEPTED THE CALL OF GOD, IT WAS A VERY BEAUTIFUL THING. HE SPOKE TO ME IN A DREAM. AND I BELIEVE GOD SPEAKS TO US THROUGH DREAMS BECAUSE WE CAN'T INTERRUPT HIM. YOU KNOW, IT'S LIKE I'LL WAIT UNTIL YOU GO TO SLEEP.
YOU'RE A CAPTIVE AUDIENCE AT NIGHT.
THAT'S RIGHT, ABSOLUTELY. HUSH, LISTEN, I HAVE YOUR ATTENTION, DON'T SAY ANYTHING. YOU'RE ASLEEP, GREAT. LET'S BEGIN. SO HE SHOWED ME IN THIS DREAM, I WAS STANDING ON THIS STAGE AND IT WAS A SEA FULL OF PEOPLE AS FAR AS I COULD SEE. AND I GLANCED DOWN AT MY HANDS AND I COULD SEE THERE WAS BLOOD, JUST KIND OF SMUDGED ON MY HANDS.
AND IT WAS THE FIRST TIME I HEARD GOD SO CLEAR SPEAK TO ME AND SAY, THE LONGER YOU RUN FROM WHAT I'VE CALLED YOU TO DO, EVERYONE YOU COULD HAVE INFLUENCED - NOT EVERYONE YOU WOULD MEET, NOT EVERYONE YOU WOULD IMPACT, EVERYONE YOU COULD HAVE INFLUENCED, THEIR BLOOD WILL BE HELD TO YOUR ACCOUNT. AND I WOKE UP AND I WAS JUST SO AFRAID, I WAS SCARED. I CALLED MY MOM AND I TOLD HER ABOUT THIS DREAM AND I THOUGHT SHE WAS GONNA BE LIKE, OH, IT'S OKAY, YOU KNOW. MAYBE IT MEANS THIS.
AND SHE STARTED LAUGHING HYSTERICALLY, LIKE SHE COULD NOT CATCH HER BREATH. AND I WAS SO CONFUSED BECAUSE I WAS SCARED OUT OF MY MIND AND MY MOM IS LAUGHING LIKE THIS LADY HAS LOST HER NATURAL-BORN MIND. SHE IS GOING CUCKOO FOR COCOA PUFFS. AND SHE CAUGHT HER BREATH LONG ENOUGH TO TELL ME, THAT'S THE EXACT DREAM YOUR FATHER HAD WHEN GOD CALLED HIM INTO MINISTRY.
WOW.
AND I WAS LIKE, OH, MY GOSH.
THAT'S SO WILD.
SO WILD.
LIKE, WHAT ARE THE CHANCES?
OH, MAN. AND HE NEVER TOLD ME THAT. AND, YOU KNOW, ONE OF MY GREATEST GIFTS TO DATE THAT I HAVE IS I HAVE ALL OF MY FATHER'S NOTEBOOKS. AND SO AFTER MY DAD DIED, I WAS READING THROUGH ONE OF HIS NOTEBOOKS AND HE WAS TALKING ABOUT THAT DREAM. AND HE WAS TALKING ABOUT WHAT HAPPENED. AND JUST, IT WAS SO SPOT ON, SO MUCH OF THE SAME DREAM THAT I HAD, THAT IF I HAD CONTINUED TO DISOBEY, IT WOULD HAVE BEEN AT MY DEMISE.
YOU KNOW, AND SO TO BE ABLE TO STEP INTO OBEDIENCE AND STEP INTO THE CALL OF GOD, IT NEVER IS EASY, ESPECIALLY WHEN YOU'RE STEPPING INTO AN ASSIGNMENT BEHIND A SPIRITUAL GIANT LIKE OUR PARENTS, AND, YOU KNOW, LIKE OUR FATHERS. BUT YOU STEP INTO A POSITION AND A SEASON OFF OF THEIR SHOULDERS AND IT ALLOWS US TO SEE FURTHER THAN THEY COULD, AND IT ALLOWS US TO REACH FURTHER THAN THEY COULD BECAUSE WE STAND ON THEIR SHOULDERS. AND I REMEMBER PRAYING ONE DAY AND GOD JUST ASKED ME THIS QUESTION.
HOW DOES A KING OR A QUEEN BECOME A KING OR A QUEEN? AND I WAS LIKE, I DON'T KNOW. THEY'RE KNIGHTED INTO IT, I GUESS. I DON'T KNOW. THEY'RE ADORNED WITH IT. AND HE SAID, NO. A KING OR A QUEEN MUST FIRST DIE. AND THAT'S THE HARD REALITY ABOUT THE POSITION THAT WE'RE IN. IN ORDER FOR US TO STEP INTO SOME OF THE ASSIGNMENTS AND SOME OF THE SEASONS, THERE HAS TO BE SOMEONE THAT GOES BEFORE US.
YEAH.
SO THAT WE CAN OCCUPY THE SEAT AND THE ASSIGNMENT THAT WE ARE IN. AND SO THINKING ABOUT THAT, AND EVEN FROM OUR CONVERSATIONS EARLIER, JUST REFLECTING ON, YOU KNOW, THE ROADS THAT OUR FATHERS PAVED FOR US, IT BRINGS ME BACK TO SO MANY MEMORIES. BUT THE MOST IMPORTANT IS GRATITUDE. SO, YEAH, IT'S JUST A LITTLE BIT.
THAT'S SO BEAUTIFUL. BUT IT'S A SPIRITUAL INHERITANCE. YOU ARE CONTINUING THAT WORK. AND IT'S KIND OF LIKE, I READ SOMETHING THE OTHER DAY, IT'S LIKE THEIR TOP, THE HIGHEST THEY'LL GO IN LIFE, THAT CAN BE OUR FLOOR, BECAUSE THEY PAVED THAT WAY FOR US.
THAT'S RIGHT.
AND WHAT'S SO BEAUTIFUL IS YOU SAW THAT DREAM, THE FEAR OF GOD HIT YOU. WHAT WAS IT AGAIN, GOD SAID THERE -
EVERYONE I COULD HAVE INFLUENCED, THEIR BLOOD WOULD BE HELD TO MY ACCOUNT. WHICH THAT'S JUST SO WILD TO THINK ABOUT. BUT WE NEED TO BE THINKING THAT WAY. ABSOLUTELY.
BECAUSE WE WILL STAND BEFORE GOD ONE DAY. AND WE WILL HAVE TO GIVE AN ACCOUNT OF OUR LIVES. LIKE THANK GOODNESS OUR SINS ARE FORGIVEN BY THE BLOOD OF JESUS, BUT THERE'S ALSO THE JUDGMENT OF OUR LIVES. AND WERE WE OBEDIENT, AND WE ARE HELD RESPONSIBLE. SO THAT'S A WORD FOR WHOEVER IS LISTENING. PASTOR TIM: I'M TELLING YOU, AND I JUST ENCOURAGE OUR LISTENERS, YOU KNOW, WE OFTEN THINK WE'RE JUDGED BY WHAT WE DO, WHICH IS TRUE, BUT WE'RE JUDGED BY WHAT GOD TOLD US NOT TO DO.
AND WHAT GOD TOLD US TO DO THAT WE DIDN'T. AND OFTENTIMES WE THINK THAT WE'RE LIMITED BY WHAT WE DON'T HAVE. AND I WOULD ARGUE, WE'RE NOT LIMITED BY WHAT WE DON'T HAVE, WE'RE LIMITED BY WHAT WE HAVE THAT WE DON'T USE. AND THERE'S AN ANOINTING, THERE'S AN ASSIGNMENT, THERE'S A GIFTING IN US, THAT GOD HAS PLACED IN US. AND SOME OF THE LIMITATIONS THAT WE'RE FACED WITH IS BECAUSE WE HAVE NOT SAID YES TO THOSE THINGS THAT REALLY HOLD US BACK FROM BECOMING OUR BEST IN GOD.
YEAH. AND I JUST THINK ABOUT THE PARABLE OF THE SOWER.
YEAH.
WHERE IT'S LIKE, WE WILL BE RESPONSIBLE, EACH PERSON HAS A DIFFERENT AMOUNT OF TALENTS, YOU KNOW, BUT EACH PERSON, TWO OF THE PEOPLE MULTIPLIED IT, AND THE OTHER PERSON WENT AND BURIED IT. AND IT DOESN'T MATTER IF SOMEONE HAS TEN OR FIVE, YOU JUST HAVE TO STEWARD WHAT GOD HAS GIVEN YOU. AND WE WILL BE HELD ACCOUNTABLE LIKE THEY WERE.
ABSOLUTELY.
SO WHEN YOU HAD THAT DREAM, HOW OLD WERE YOU?
I WAS 18.
OKAY, SO YOU WERE 18.
YEAH.
SO GO BACK TO THAT MOMENT. YOU HAVE THAT DREAM AND YOU DECIDE THEN AND THERE WHAT?
SO MY FATHER HAD DIED THE DAY AFTER MY 18TH BIRTHDAY. ON MY 18TH BIRTHDAY, MY DAD SAT ME DOWN FOR FIVE HOURS AND JUST SPOKE INTO ME, JUST DECLARED OVER ME ON MY 18TH BIRTHDAY. I'M NOT REALLY THINKING, MAN, THIS IS INCREDIBLE. THIS IS MY 18TH BIRTHDAY, SO I'M THINKING ABOUT WHAT I'M GONNA DO, WHAT AM I GONNA HAVE FOR DINNER, WHO AM I GONNA HANG OUT WITH.
DON'T YOU JUST HATE THAT?
OH, MAN. MY DAD IS TALKING TO ME -
SPEAKING LIKE THE FATHER'S BLESSING.
HE IS DECLARING OVER ME, AND SO I'M THERE BUT I'M NOT THERE. AND HE IS TELLING ME THE PLAN OF GOD FOR MY LIFE. AND, YOU KNOW, AFTER ABOUT FIVE HOURS HE PATS ME ON THE LEG, HE GOES UPSTAIRS TO HIS ROOM, HE GOES TO SLEEP. 2 A.M. THE FOLLOWING MORNING, MY MOM KNOCKS ON THE DOOR, SHE SAYS, HEY, I NEED YOU TO HELP ME GET YOUR DAD OUT OF BED. HE'S NOT RESPONDING. SO WE RUSH INTO THE ROOM. PULL HIM OUT OF BED. HE'S ALREADY GONE. AND I REMEMBER THINKING TO MYSELF, I WISH I HAD MORE TIME.
I WISH I HAD PAID MORE ATTENTION. I WISH THAT I COULD GO BACK IN TIME, SIT DOWN, GET A PEN, GET A PAD, WRITE DOWN WHAT HE WAS SAYING. AND SO FOR THE LAST 20-SOMETHING-ODD YEARS, I'VE RELIVED THAT CONVERSATION OVER AND OVER AND OVER AGAIN TO TRY TO GRAB AHOLD OF MORE PIECES. AND ONE OF MY BIGGEST REGRETS IN LIFE IS NOT BEING PRESENT. AND SO FROM THAT MOMENT, EVERY CONVERSATION THAT I'VE HAD I AM 100 PERCENT PRESENT.
BECAUSE I NEVER KNOW HOW THOSE CONVERSATIONS WILL MARK ME FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE. AND HOW THAT MOMENT CHANGED ME FROM A PLACE OF REGRET IN SUCH A POSITIVE WAY. YOU KNOW, REGRET CAN DO ONE OF TWO THINGS. REGRET CAN ALLOW US TO LIVE IN REMORSE, OR REGRET CAN ALLOW US TO LIVE IN REDEMPTION.
WOW.
AND IT ALLOWED ME TO REDEEM SOME OF THE THINGS THAT I WISH THAT I HAD DONE BETTER AND STEWARD MY LIFE MOVING FORWARD DIFFERENTLY. AND SO, YOU KNOW, FROM THAT CONVERSATION, I JUST, I TRY TO DRAW AS MUCH FROM IT AS I CAN, AS MY MIND WOULD REMEMBER. BUT I GO BACK TO THOSE NOTEBOOKS. AND, YOU KNOW, SO EVEN NOW, ONE OF MY GREATEST JOYS IS TO WRITE NOTES TO MY SON. AND, YOU KNOW, TAKE IT A STEP FURTHER, SOMETHING THAT I WISH I HAD - I WISH I HAD A VIDEO OF MY FATHER TALKING TO ME.
AND SO I'LL READ WHAT I WRITE TO MY SON, IN KNOWING ONE DAY I WON'T BE HERE, BUT THESE RECORDINGS AND THESE NOTES WILL BE AND WHAT THEY'LL MEAN TO HIM BECAUSE OF WHAT THOSE NOTES MEAN TO ME NOW. AND SO THAT'S ONE OF MY GREATEST JOYS RIGHT NOW. AND, YOU KNOW, THE OLDER WE GET, THE MORE I START TO THINK, WHAT CAN I DO DIFFERENTLY THAT I WISH I HAD FOR MY KID THAT I HOLD ON TO AND CHERISH NOW.
AND, YOU KNOW, YOU JUST START TO PROCESS IT DIFFERENTLY WHEN SOMEONE CLOSE TO YOU DIES THAT MEANS THE WORLD TO YOU. AND, YOU KNOW, YOU HAVE PEOPLE THAT WILL COME BEHIND YOU THAT YOU MEAN EVERYTHING TO THEM. AND SO, YEAH, IT'S ONE OF THOSE THINGS, LIVING FOR IT, BUT ALSO OUR ASSIGNMENT IS TO LIVE WITH FORESIGHT, WHICH IS THE ABILITY TO SEE MORE BEFORE AND LIVE HINDSIGHT, THE ABILITY TO LEAVE BEHIND US SOMETHING THAT WILL BE IMPACTFUL FOR THE GENERATIONS TO COME. AND THAT'S WHAT LEGACY IS.
LEGACY ISN'T WHAT WE LEAVE FOR PEOPLE, LEGACY IS WHAT WE LEAVE IN PEOPLE. I DESIRE TO LEAVE SOMETHING IN MY SON THAT MY DAD LEFT IN ME.
AND THERE'S SOMETHING LIKE YOU SAID ABOUT THEM PASSING ON. BECAUSE I FELT THAT WHEN MY OWN DAD WENT. IT WAS LIKE HIS LIFE WAS A SEED THAT WENT INTO THE GROUND.
YEAH.
AND IT WASN'T UNTIL THAT HAPPENED, IT CAUSED A SHIFT. AND, YOU KNOW, IT'S TERRIBLE, IT'S HARD, BUT SOMETHING DOES HAPPEN AND THERE IS PURPOSE TO IT. AND IT'S HARD TO GO THROUGH THAT PROCESS, BUT YOU ALSO SEE, IT'S LIKE YOU GRIEVE, BUT THEN YOU ALSO SEE THE SIGNIFICANCE AND THE PURPOSE AND HOW THERE'S SO MUCH MORE IN FRONT OF YOU, THAN WHAT'S BEHIND YOU. YOU LOOK AT EVERYTHING. MY WHOLE, LIKE, PERSPECTIVE SHIFTED WHEN MY DAD WENT TO THE LORD.
YOU KNOW, EVERYTHING, GOD EVEN BEGAN TO COME ALIVE IN ME. FAITH, YOU KNOW, I HEARD ABOUT FAITH MY WHOLE LIFE. BUT FAITH REALLY BEGAN TO MAKE SENSE TO ME WHEN MY DAD PASSED. AND UNDERSTANDING WHAT IT MEANS. AND HOW WE NEED TO LIVE FOR ETERNITY AND NOT LIVE FOR THE NOW.
YEAH.
YOU KNOW, SO THERE'S SO MANY IMPORTANT LESSONS THAT CAME FROM MY DAD'S PASSING. WHAT DID YOU LEARN THROUGH YOUR DIFFERENT LOSSES THAT YOU EXPERIENCED?
ONE OF THE THINGS THAT I LEARNED THROUGH LOSS, IS JUST THE CYCLE OF GRIEVING. I THINK MOST OF THE TIME, YOU KNOW, FOR PEOPLE WHO HAVE BEEN FOLLOWING JESUS FOR ANY AMOUNT OF TIME, ONE OF THE MISCONCEPTIONS IS THAT YOU'LL GET OVER IT. AND WITH JESUS, YOUR FEELINGS WILL EVENTUALLY GO AWAY, AND THINGS WILL CHANGE. AND THAT'S NOT NECESSARILY TRUE. YOU KNOW, THERE'S DAYS WHERE I HAVE INCREDIBLE MOMENTS OF REFLECTION, WHERE I HAVE A SMILE ON MY FACE.
AND THERE'S DAYS WHERE I HAVE INCREDIBLE MOMENTS OF REFLECTION WHERE I'M CRYING AND IT'S LIKE YESTERDAY THAT WE TALKED, AND YESTERDAY THAT HE HUGGED ME, OR, YOU KNOW, IT JUST DEPENDS ON THE DAY. SO ONE OF THE GREATEST THINGS I'VE LEARNED IN LOSSES, NEVER ROB YOURSELF OF THE HUMAN EXPERIENCE. YOU HAVE TO ALLOW YOURSELF TO FEEL EVERYTHING YOU FEEL BUT DON'T BE LED BY YOUR FEELINGS.
OH, THAT'S SO GOOD.
YEAH.
SO YOU DON'T INVALIDATE THEM, BUT YOU'RE NOT LED BY THEM.
I'M NOT LED BY THEM. YOU KNOW, IF EVER I COME TO A PLACE WHERE I'M BEING LED BY MY FEELINGS, THEN OFTENTIMES I'M BEING LED AWAY FROM THE PURPOSE AND THE WILL OF GOD FOR MY LIFE. AND SO GOD DOESN'T WANT US TO NUMB OUR FEELINGS. HE DOESN'T WANT US TO AVOID THEM. HE WANTS US TO FEEL THEM. BUT WE HAVE TO PROCESS THEM WITH HIM SO THAT WE CAN BE LED BY HIS SPIRIT. WHEN WE'RE LED BY HIS SPIRIT, THAT'S WHERE WE EXPERIENCE THE GREATEST LEVEL OF HEALING KNOWN TO MANKIND.
AND JUST BECAUSE YOU HEAL DOESN'T MEAN THAT YOU WON'T HAVE SEASONS AND TIMES WHERE YOU NEED TO GO BACK AND HEAL AGAIN. AND SO, YOU KNOW, GRIEF AND THE DEATH OF A LOVED ONE IS SOMETHING THAT YOU WILL HAVE RECURRING FEELINGS WITH, ESPECIALLY WHEN THEY MEAN A LOT TO YOU. AND, YOU KNOW, THE BEAUTY OF IT ALL, IS THAT WE GET A CHANCE TO WALK OUT THIS LIFE WITH JESUS, AND HE GETS A CHANCE TO WALK HAND IN HAND WITH US THROUGH EVERY SEASON OF GRIEF THAT WE FIND OURSELVES IN. REBECCA: THAT'S SO GOOD.
SO IN THE BOOK YOU BREAK DOWN THE DIFFERENT PARTS OF A FUNERAL. SO I WANT TO START WITH, I KNOW WE PROBABLY ALREADY TAPPED ON SOME OF THIS, BUT THE FIRST ONE IS THE CONTRADICTION. UH-HUH.
SPEAK ON THAT.
LIFE AND DEATH, THE CONTRADICTION IS THAT WE OFTEN EXPECT THINGS TO GO DIFFERENTLY THAN THEY DO. AND SO WHENEVER WE HAVE THAT EXPECTATION, AND WE EXPERIENCE SOMETHING THAT CONTRADICTS OUR HOPE OR OUR EXPECTATION, IT OFTENTIMES LEAVES US IN A PLACE OF CONFUSION. AND CONFUSION UNCHECKED TURNS INTO CHAOS. AND, YOU KNOW, WE HAVE TO BRING OURSELVES TO THE RESOLUTION, THAT ALTHOUGH WHAT WE LOVED OR WHO WE LOVED IS NO LONGER THERE, WE LIVE OUR LIVES FORWARD AND GOD HAS A PLAN FOR US.
AND SO THAT'S THE FIRST STEP. THE SECOND STEP IS CONFRONTATION. THAT'S US REALLY FACING, ACKNOWLEDGING, ADDRESSING WHAT IS NO LONGER PRESENT, OR WHO IS NO LONGER PRESENT. THAT'S WHEN WE HAVE AN OPPORTUNITY TO ALLOW THE HEALING TO BEGIN. ALLOW THE STEPS OF HEALING TO TAKE ITS COURSE, AND REALLY PARTNER WITH GOD. AND THE REASON I SAY PARTNER, BECAUSE YOU CANNOT DO IT ON YOUR OWN. ONE OF THE GREATEST MISCONCEPTIONS IS THAT TIME HEALS ALL. TIME DOES NOT HEAL ALL.
HUH-HUH.
BUT TIME IN GOD DOES.
YEAH.
AND WHEN WE PARTNER WITH GOD ON THIS JOURNEY, GOD ALLOWS US TO GO THROUGH THIS PROCESS HAND IN HAND WITH HIM. AND HE JUST WRAPS HIS ARMS AROUND US AND HE PULLS US IN CLOSE TO HIS HEART SO THAT WE CAN HEAR HIS DESIRED PLAN FOR US. AND THE PLAN THAT HE HAS FOR US, YOU KNOW, JEREMIAH SAYS, I KNOW THE PLAN I HAVE FOR YOU, THAT PLAN IS GOOD AND NOT EVIL. AND OFTENTIMES WHEN WE EXPERIENCE LOSS, WE THINK, OH, THIS IS EVIL. AND GOD'S PLAN FOR OUR LIFE IS NOT THAT.
AND SO WE HAVE TO STAY CLOSE TO EXPERIENCE THE PLAN OF GOD. SO THAT'S THE SECOND STEP. SO YOU HAVE THE CONTRADICTION, YOU HAVE THE CONFRONTATION, AND THEN, YOU KNOW, YOU HAVE WHAT I CALL THE EULOGY. THAT'S WHEN YOU REALLY HONOR WHAT HAS BEEN LOST AND BRING YOURSELF TO THE PLACE OF MOVING FORWARD THROUGH HONOR. AND SO OFTEN WE DON'T HAVE A PROBLEM HONORING THOSE THAT HAVE LEFT, THAT TRANSITIONED FROM THIS LIFE TO THE NEXT, BUT WE DON'T PROPERLY HONOR AND BRING RESOLUTION TO THINGS THAT HAS DIED.
AND WE MOVE ON FROM THEM WITHOUT PROPERLY HEALING FROM THEM. AND SO ANYTHING THAT WE DON'T GIVE PROPER TIME AND PROCESS TO THROUGH HEALING WILL REVISIT US IN AN UNHEALTHY WAY.
YEAH. PASTOR TIM: AND SO, YOU KNOW, WHEN WE HONOR AND EULOGIZE THOSE THINGS, THAT REALLY ALLOWS US TO START THAT HEALING PROCESS. AND THEN THE FOURTH STEP IS THE PROCESSIONAL. IT'S, YOU KNOW, KIND OF THE REPASS OF A HOME-GOING SERVICE. IT'S WHEN THE FAMILY COMES AND FOOD IS BEING COOKED, AND THERE'S A CELEBRATION. YOU KNOW, OFTENTIMES WE DON'T TALK ABOUT THE PERSON DYING, WE DON'T EVEN TALK ABOUT THE PERSON BEING BORN. WE TALK ABOUT THE LIFE THAT THEY LIVED.
AND THIS IS AN OPPORTUNITY FOR US TO REALLY HONOR THE DASH IN BETWEEN, HIGHLIGHT THE HIGHLIGHTS. AND SEE WHAT WE HAVE TO DO TO MOVE OUR LIFE FORWARD, TO HONOR THE LIFE THAT THEY HAVE LIVED AND REALLY LEFT BEHIND IN US SO THAT WE DO JUSTICE THE LIFE THAT THEY HAVE IMPACTED US WITH. OR THE THINGS THAT IMPACTED US.
AND SO I STOPPED SAYING I LOST MY DAD AND I REALLY START TO SAY, I CELEBRATED THE LIFE THAT HE LIVED AND THAT HELPED ME CHANGE MY PERSPECTIVE AND REALLY SHAPE MY PAIN IN A PURPOSEFUL WAY. YOU KNOW, ONE OF THE THINGS IS, WHEN MY DAD PASSED, ONE OF THE THINGS THAT GOD GAVE TO ME WAS, HEBREWS 11, THE CHAPTER OF FAITH.
YEAH.
AND WHAT'S INTERESTING IS, WE WANT TO HAVE FAITH FOR THE GOOD THINGS, BUT IT'S ALSO SO IMPORTANT TO HAVE FAITH WHEN THINGS DON'T MAKE SENSE IN THE MOMENT. BECAUSE FAITH IS TRUSTING THAT GOD IS WHO HE SAYS HE IS, AND THAT GOD IS GOOD, SO HE IS GOOD EVEN WHEN OUR SURROUNDINGS DON'T MAKE SENSE TO US IN THAT MOMENT. AND WHAT'S SO POWERFUL ABOUT THAT PASSAGE, IS IT SAYS THAT ABRAHAM WAS PROMISED THAT HE WOULD BE A FATHER OF A GREAT - OF SO MANY PEOPLE. AND IT NAMES THESE DIFFERENT PROMISES.
AND AT THE END IT SAYS, THEY DIDN'T ALL SEE THE FULFILLMENT OF THOSE PROMISES, BUT THEY HAD FAITH ANYWAY. AND WE KNOW THAT THOSE PROMISES, EVERYONE LISTED IN THE SCRIPTURE CAME TO PASS. AND SO WHAT'S SO IMPORTANT, IS HAVING FAITH WHEN THINGS ARE DIFFICULT. CAN YOU SPEAK TO THAT?
YEAH. THAT'S ONE OF MY FAVORITE CHAPTERS IN THE BIBLE. YOU KNOW, WE CALL IT THE HALL OF FAITH. AND IT STARTS OFF BY TALKING ABOUT GREAT MEN AND WOMEN AND THE FAITH THAT THEY HAD. AND WHAT THEY SAW AND THE THINGS THAT THEY ACCOMPLISHED BECAUSE OF THEIR FAITH. AND THEN THE SECOND PORTION OF THAT CHAPTER, IT KIND OF CHANGES THE TONE. AND IT BEGINS TO SAY THAT THEY DIED IN FAITH.
YEAH.
THEY DIED IN FAITH. WHICH MEANS THAT THEY HAD FAITH, BUT THEY DID NOT SEE IN THIS LIFE WHAT THEY WERE BELIEVING GOD FOR. AND I BELIEVE THAT'S SUCH A SPECIAL, SPECIAL MARKER FOR US, THAT WALK OUT THIS LIFE UNDERSTANDING AND KNOWING THAT OUR FAITH IS NOT ANCHORED IN SOMETHING HAPPENING. OUR FAITH IS ANCHORED IN JESUS. AND REGARDLESS IF WE SEE IT OR NOT, IT STILL WILL BE PROVIDED AND IT STILL WILL BE PERFORMED. AND SO ALTHOUGH I NEVER SAW MY FATHER GET COMPLETELY HEALED, HE RECEIVED HIS HEALING.
YEAH.
AND HE DIED IN FAITH BELIEVING THAT GOD WOULD DELIVER HIM, BELIEVING THAT GOD WOULD HEAL HIM, AND HE DID. IT JUST DIDN'T HAPPEN THE WAY THAT I THOUGHT THAT IT SHOULD. AND I BELIEVE WHEN OUR PERSPECTIVE IS REALLY ATTACHED TO SCRIPTURE AND THE WORD OF GOD, IT REALLY BUILDS OUR FAITH AND AT CERTAIN POINTS, IT CHALLENGES OUR FAITH. AND ONE OF THE THINGS I LEARNED ABOUT THE BIBLE IS IF THE BIBLE DOES NOT BOTH BLESS ME, AND BLISTER ME, IT IS NOT THE BIBLE. THERE ARE THINGS IN IT I LOVE.
THERE ARE THINGS IN IT THAT I DON'T LIKE, BUT IF I APPLY IT, IT ALWAYS BENEFITS ME TO MOVE CLOSER TO GOD. AND SO THERE ARE SOME THINGS THAT I WILL HAVE FAITH FOR IN THIS LIFE THAT I SEE, AND THERE ARE SOME THINGS THAT I WILL DIE IN FAITH BELIEVING TO SEE THAT I WILL SEE ON THE OTHER SIDE. AND THOSE THAT COME BEHIND ME, THAT WILL BE THEIR TESTIMONY. HE DIED IN FAITH BELIEVING FOR WHAT HE NOW SEES THAT WE HOPE TO SEE UPON THE DAY OF JESUS' RETURN.
THAT'S SO GOOD. THERE'S JUST SO MUCH TO THINK ABOUT. I LOVE WHEN YOU SAID THAT WE SOMETIMES HAVE FAITH WHEN WE WANT THINGS TO TURN OUT A CERTAIN WAY.
YEAH.
AND I THINK PEOPLE GET TOO CAUGHT UP IN THAT, AND YOU HAVE TO PUT YOUR FAITH IN HIM. AND EVEN IF THINGS DON'T TURN OUT THE WAY YOU THINK THEY'RE SUPPOSED TO OR WHEN THEY'RE SUPPOSED TO, YOU HAVE TO HAVE FAITH AND TRUST THAT HE'S A GOOD GOD. YOU HAVE TO HAVE FAITH AND TRUST THAT HE'S A GOOD GOD, AND YOU ALSO CAN'T GET OFFENDED.
AND THAT'S A SNARE I SEE SO MANY PEOPLE FALL INTO, IS THINGS DON'T TURN OUT THE WAY THEY WANT IT TO OR HOW THEY WANTED TO, OR WHEN THEY WANTED TO, AND IT'S SO EASY IN THAT MOMENT TO GET OFFENDED AND YOU COULD HAVE GOT OFFENDED AT THE LORD WITH WHAT HAPPENED WITH YOUR DAD, BUT YOU DIDN'T ALLOW IT TO. WHAT IS YOUR WORD FOR PEOPLE WHO ARE WATCHING HOW NOT TO FALL INTO THAT SNARE OF OFFENSE AND DISAPPOINTMENT?
YEAH. SO OFFENSE IS REALLY ROOTED IN ENTITLEMENT, RIGHT?
UH-HUH.
THE REASON I'M OFFENDED IS BECAUSE I CAN'T BELIEVE THAT IT HAPPENED LIKE THIS. THAT'S ENTITLEMENT. AND ENTITLEMENT IS ALWAYS ROOTED IN AN ANTICHRIST SPIRIT.
OH, WOW.
AND SO ANYTHING THAT I FEEL ENTITLED TO, IS CONTRARY TO THE PURPOSE AND THE WILL OF GOD. AND IT'S SOMETHING THAT WE HAVE TO REALLY FIGHT TO KEEP SUBMITTED AT THE FEET OF JESUS SO THAT WE DON'T TRY TO BECOME OUR OWN GODS. WE DON'T CONTROL OUR FUTURE, WE DON'T CONTROL OUR DESTINY. YOU KNOW, GOD DOES. SO ANYTIME WE PUSH BACK AND FIGHT ON THAT, WE REALLY OPERATE IN AND FROM A PLACE THAT IS CONTRARY TO THE WILL OF GOD FOR OUR LIVES.
AND SO WHENEVER WE FIND OURSELVES GETTING FRUSTRATED, OKAY, THIS HAPPENED, THIS HAPPENED, I WASN'T EXPECTING THIS, THIS SHOULD HAVE BEEN THIS WAY. IT'S REALLY ROOTED IN ENTITLEMENT. SO REALLY OFFENSE IS THE FRUIT, BUT ENTITLEMENT IS THE ROOT. AND SO WE HAVE TO ATTACK THAT ROOT SYSTEM TO MAKE SURE THAT WE ARE CARRYING OUT AND REALLY LAYING AT THE FEET OF JESUS EVERYTHING THAT WE NEED TO SO THAT WE CAN BE LIKE HIM. REMEMBER WHAT JESUS SAID.
YOU KNOW, THERE ARE THINGS THAT I BELIEVE JESUS WANTED TO DO BUT HE SAID I ONLY DO WHAT MY FATHER TELLS ME TO DO.
YEAH.
AND I ONLY SAY WHAT MY FATHER TELLS ME TO SAY. WHICH MEANS HE HAD A CHOICE, BUT HE STILL CHOSE TO OBEY. AND THAT'S WHAT WE HAVE TO BRING OURSELVES TO AND THAT'S WHERE WE HAVE TO SUBMIT OUR WILL AND WAY TO JESUS BECAUSE EVEN HE HAD TO DO IT.
THAT'S SO GOOD. ANY FINAL WORDS, ANY WORD OF ENCOURAGEMENT TO THE PEOPLE WHO ARE LISTENING?
MAN, IF I COULD LEAVE ONE LAST THOUGHT, IT WOULD BE THIS. REGARDLESS OF THE SEASON THAT YOU'RE IN AND REGARDLESS OF THE PAIN YOU MAY BE FEELING OR THE CONFUSION THAT YOU MAY BE FEELING, UNDERSTAND THIS: THAT THE PLAN OF GOD WILL NOT FAIL. AND WHEN YOU FIND YOURSELF IN CONFUSION, FOLLOW THE VOICE OF GOD WHEN YOU CANNOT SEE. AND I'M REMINDED OF A GAME THAT ME AND MY WIFE PLAY WITH OUR SIX-YEAR-OLD SON. IT'S CALLED THE SILENT GAME.
AND WE PUT THIS BLINDFOLD ON HIM AND HE HAS TO TRY TO HEAR WHERE WE ARE AND FIND US. HE CAN'T SEE. HE DOESN'T KNOW. BUT HE CAN HEAR. AND IN LIFE IT'S A LOT LIKE THAT. OFTENTIMES YOU CAN'T SEE HOW THINGS WILL TURN OUT, BUT AS LONG AS YOU FOLLOW THE VOICE OF YOUR FATHER, HE WILL LEAD YOU DOWN THE PATH OF RIGHTEOUSNESS, AND HE WILL LEAD YOU DOWN THE PATH OF TRUTH. SO CONTINUE ON THAT JOURNEY UNTIL YOU DISCOVER HIS HAND. AND THAT'S IT.
THAT'S SO GOOD. THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR BEING HERE. FOR PEOPLE WHO WANT TO GET THE BOOK, THE ART OF OVERCOMING, WHERE CAN THEY GET IT?
THEY CAN GET IT FROM TIMTIMBERLAKE.TV OR ANYWHERE BOOKS ARE SOLD. IT'S IN ALL BOOKSTORES EVERYWHERE. SO I'M EXTREMELY GRATEFUL THAT YOU WOULD HAVE ME ON THE PODCAST AND LOOK FORWARD TO DOING THIS AGAIN VERY SOON.
YES. THANK YOU SO MUCH. AND FOR PEOPLE WHO WANT TO CHECK OUT YOUR CHURCH, WHERE ARE YOU LOCATED?
CELEBRATION.ORG. WE ARE BASED IN JACKSONVILLE, FLORIDA, BUT HAVE MULTIPLE LOCATIONS KIND OF ALL AROUND THE WORLD. FOR MORE INFORMATION, GO TO CELEBRATION.ORG.
WELL, THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR BEING HERE.
THANK YOU.
WE REALLY APPRECIATE IT.
APPRECIATE YOU. ♪♪