HEY, GUYS, WELCOME BACK TO THE REBECCA WEISS PODCAST . I'M VERY EXCITED TODAY BECAUSE I AM JOINED WITH NONE OTHER THAN JASMINE WHEELER, WORSHIP PASTOR AT MERCY CULTURE LOCAL HERE IN FORT WORTH, TEXAS. WELCOME TO THE SHOW.
THANKS FOR HAVING ME.
I'M SUPER HONORED TO HAVE YOU HERE. AND, YOU KNOW, ONE OF THE THINGS I LOVE ABOUT YOU, JASMINE, IS YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE, HOW YOU CARRY YOURSELF, AND YOU JUST SEEM LIKE SUCH A DOWN-TO-EARTH PERSON WHO REALLY LOVES THE LORD. AND I THINK THAT'S SUCH A REFRESHING THING TO HAVE IN THE WORSHIP SPACE. AND SO THANK YOU FOR WHAT YOU'RE DOING.
OH, THANK YOU. THAT'S SO KIND. MEANS A LOT.
OF COURSE. SO LET'S GET INTO YOUR STORY. TELL ME ABOUT, SO YOU'RE NOT FROM HERE.
NO.
WHERE WERE YOU BORN AND RAISED IN?
I WAS BORN IN MISSOURI. RAISED IN OHIO.
OH, WOW.
YEAH.
SO TELL ME, WHAT WAS CHILDHOOD LIKE GROWING UP?
YEAH, WELL, I WOULD SAY I GREW UP IN A PRETTY BROKEN HOME, MY MOM AND DAD DIVORCED WHEN I WAS 2. THEN MY MOM REMARRIED WHEN I WAS ABOUT 5 YEARS OLD, AND MY STEPDAD. AND PRETTY QUICKLY INTO THAT MARRIAGE, WE LEARNED THAT HE STRUGGLED WITH DRUGS, ALCOHOL, BIPOLAR, SCHIZOPHRENIC, ADDICTED TO GAMBLING. SO THERE'S A LOT OF TURMOIL IN THE HOUSE, TO SAY THE LEAST. SO THAT WAS PROBABLY THE MARKER, I WOULD SAY, OF MY CHILDHOOD WAS JUST SOME OF THE ABUSE WE EXPERIENCED IN THE HOUSE.
I NEVER PERSONALLY EXPERIENCED ANY PHYSICAL ABUSE, BUT I WITNESSED MY MOM EXPERIENCE PHYSICAL ABUSE. I THINK MY SIDE OF IT WAS MORE EMOTIONAL, VERBAL ABUSE, BUT THAT WAS PRETTY MUCH MY ENTIRE CHILDHOOD UP UNTIL MY JUNIOR YEAR IN HIGH SCHOOL. MY STEPDAD PASSED AWAY WHEN I GOT TO HIGH SCHOOL, HAD KIDNEY FAILURE, AND CRAZY STORY THERE AND JUST WHAT GOD DID IN THAT RELATIONSHIP. BUT, THAT THAT'S THE ATMOSPHERE THAT I GREW UP IN WITH MY MOM.
MY MOM LOVES JESUS, GREW UP IN CHURCH WITH HER, AND WAS IN CHURCH JUST ABOUT EVERY DAY OF THE WEEK. AND SO THANKFUL THAT I AT LEAST KNEW ABOUT GOD AND LEARNED ABOUT JESUS AT A YOUNG AGE, GAVE MY LIFE TO THE LORD PRETTY YOUNG, AND FELL IN LOVE WITH HIM. BUT A LOT THAT I HAD TO WORK THROUGH AND PROCESS THROUGH AND HEAL FROM, FROM MY CHILDHOOD.
THAT'S A LOT. AND THAT THERE'S A DICHOTOMY THERE BECAUSE YOU'RE IN CHURCH AND THAT'S GREAT AND YOU'RE SAVED. YOUR MOM WAS A GOD-FEARING WOMAN, HAD YOU ALL IN CHURCH, BUT THEN WHEN YOU WOULD GET HOME, IT WAS CHAOTIC. SO HOW DID YOU MANEUVER THE OPPOSINGNESS OF THAT?
YEAH, I MEAN, I REALLY STRUGGLED WITH IT. I THINK IT WAS A BIG PART OF MY, MY WRESTLE, MY FAITH JOURNEY. I WOULD SAY, IS I COULDN'T FIGURE OUT HOW IS IT THAT WE CAN BE SINGING THESE SONGS ON SUNDAY AND, TALKING ABOUT GOD ALL THE TIME AND THEN GET HOME? AND I LITERALLY REMEMBER ONE SPECIFIC SUNDAY WE GOT HOME FROM CHURCH AND, SOME DRAMA HAPPENED, YOU KNOW, WHEN WE GOT HOME AND I REMEMBER SEEING MY MOM WITH A KNIFE TO HER THROAT IN THE KITCHEN AND JUST BEING LIKE, WHAT DOES THIS MEAN?
HOW DOES THIS WORK? YOU KNOW? AND SO IT PUT ME ON THIS, TRAJECTORY OF REALLY GETTING TO FIND OUT IF GOD CARED ABOUT ME PERSONALLY AS AN INDIVIDUAL OR IF HE WAS JUST THIS FAR-OFF, DISTANT GOD WHO WAS COMPLETELY UNCONCERNED AND DISCONNECTED FROM THE REALITY OF THE THINGS THAT I WAS WALKING THROUGH, THE HARD THINGS. AND I'M THANKFUL TO SAY THAT I LEARNED, THAT HE WAS INTERESTED AND HE DID CARE. AND HE WAS INVOLVED AND THAT HE WAS NEAR TO ME.
AND I GOT TO LEARN THAT AS I GOT OLDER, THROUGH SOME SIGNIFICANT ENCOUNTERS WITH HIM. BUT THAT WAS A BIG TENSION POINT FOR ME GROWING UP, FOR SURE.
YEAH. BECAUSE WHEN WE'RE LITTLE, IT'S YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND WHAT'S GOING ON. IT'S JUST HAPPENING TO YOU. AND IT'S NOT UNTIL YOU'RE OLDER AND YOU CAN PROCESS IT. AND THE THING IS, IS THAT GOD IS ALWAYS THERE AND WE FIND THAT OUT LATER ON. BUT IN THE MOMENT IT MIGHT NOT FEEL THAT WAY BECAUSE THINGS WERE SO CHAOTIC. AND, YOU KNOW, WE HAVE TO LIVE WITH WHEN WE'RE UNDER OUR PARENTS' HOUSEHOLD, WE HAVE TO LIVE WITH THE DECISIONS THAT THEY MAKE. AND SO GOD WAS A GOOD GOD.
BUT YOUR MOM, YOU KNOW, WAS WITH YOUR STEPDAD. WAS IT HARD FOR YOU THAT SHE STAYED WITH HIM?
YES.
DID YOU EVER TALK TO HER ABOUT IT?
YEAH, WE'VE HAD SEVERAL CONVERSATIONS ABOUT THAT. BEAUTIFUL CONVERSATIONS NOW, ON THE OTHER END OF EVERYTHING. BUT I REMEMBER FOR, FOR A FEW YEARS I WAS PRETTY BITTER TOWARDS HER BECAUSE I COULDN'T FIGURE OUT WHY SHE STAYED, AND, THERE'S A LOT BEHIND THAT STORY. BUT I THINK AT THE END OF THE DAY, MY MOM WAS JUST TRYING TO DO WHAT SHE THOUGHT WAS RIGHT. SHE WAS TRYING TO DO THE BEST THING, AND EVERY PARENT IS JUST DOING THEIR BEST.
AND YOU GET OLDER, AND YOU REALIZE, OH, THEY JUST DID THEIR BEST AND THEY WEREN'T PERFECT. BUT EVERYBODY'S ON THE SAME PLAYING FIELD DOING THEIR BEST, YOU KNOW. AND SO I CAN LOOK BACK NOW AND SAY THAT. BUT WHEN I WAS YOUNGER, I DEFINITELY HAD SOME BITTERNESS IN MY HEART TOWARDS MY MOM.
I COMPLETELY AGREE WITH THAT. I THINK BECOMING A PARENT CAN BE A VERY HEALING EXPERIENCE, BECAUSE YOU CAN KIND OF FINALLY SEE THINGS FROM THEIR PERSPECTIVE AND YOU UNDERSTAND THEY DID THE BEST THEY COULD. YOU KNOW, THEY MADE THE BEST DECISION THAT THEY KNEW AT THAT TIME. AND SO IT GIVES YOU A GRACE AND MERCY FOR THEM. SO YOU GROW UP IN THIS HOME, YOU ENCOUNTER, WELL, YOU GAVE YOUR LIFE TO THE LORD AT A YOUNG AGE. AT SOME POINT, YOU HAVE AN ENCOUNTER WITH HIM, I THINK IN HIGH SCHOOL.
AND YOU ALSO GOT LINKED UP WITH PASTORS LANDON AND HEATHER? TALK ABOUT THAT.
YEAH. THEY'RE MY YOUTH PASTORS.
THAT'S SO WILD.
I KNOW, IT'S CRAZY FULL CIRCLE HOW THE LORD DOES THAT.
BECAUSE TO GIVE CONTEXT TO OUR AUDIENCE, THAT'S -- YOU'RE AT THEIR CHURCH NOW.
YEAH.
SO IT'S LIKE THIS COOL, LIKE FULL CIRCLE STORY, WHICH I LOVE. ANYWAY, SO HOW THEY WERE YOUR YOUTH PASTORS?
YEAH, THEY WERE MY YOUTH PASTORS. AND IT'S KIND OF COOL. THEY WERE ACTUALLY A BIG PART OF MY FORGIVENESS JOURNEY WITH MY STEPDAD. THEY WERE YOUTH PASTORS AT THE SAME TIME THAT ALL OF THAT WAS KIND OF UNFOLDING, I WAS REALLY BITTER TOWARDS MY STEPDAD, HAD A LOT OF,
UNDERSTANDBLY.
YEAH, HAD A LOT OF I WOULD SAY HATRED IN MY HEART TOWARD HIM, TO SAY THE LEAST. AND, JUST BECAUSE OF THE THINGS THAT WE WERE WALKING THROUGH AND EXPERIENCING, AND I WAS YOUNG AND IMMATURE AND YOUNG IN MY FAITH. AND SO I DIDN'T LIKE HIM AT ALL. AND I REMEMBER GOING TO MY TO MY PASTOR, TO MY YOUTH PASTORS, PASTOR LANDON AND PASTOR HEATHER, AND TELLING THEM THAT THE DOCTORS HAD JUST GIVEN MY STEPDAD 7 TO 10 DAYS TO LIVE.
SO HE GOT KIDNEY FAILURE, JUST FROM THE LIFESTYLE THAT HE WAS LIVING AND REALLY ROUGH. HE WAS OUT IN THE STREETS JUST DOING A LOT TON DURING THAT TIME. SO THEY SAID HE HAS 7 TO 10 DAYS TO LIVE. AND I WENT TO MY YOUTH PASTORS AND SAID, HEY, THIS IS WHAT THE DOCTOR JUST SAID. AND HONESTLY, IT WAS A KIND OF A CELEBRATION MOMENT FOR ME. I THOUGHT, GOD'S SAVING US, LIKE, HE'S GOING TO TAKE THIS GUY OUT BECAUSE HE'S DOING THE MOST IN OUR HOUSE. AND I DON'T BELIEVE THAT NOW.
BUT THAT'S HOW I FELT DURING THAT TIME. AND I TOLD THEM THAT. AND PASTOR LANDON'S RESPONSE WAS, THE LORD PUT IT ON HIS HEART THAT AT OUR YOUTH GROUP THAT IF WE WOULD PRAY FOR MY STEPDAD AND ALL, JUST GIVE GOD A RADICAL PRAISE THAT MY STEPDAD WOULD LIVE LONGER THAN TEN DAYS. AND I REMEMBER HIM TELLING ME THAT AND BEING LIKE, YOU MISSED THE POINT.
LIKE, NO.
YEAH, LIKE YOU MISSED THAT.
IT'S ALMOST OVER.
AND, AND SO I WAS LIKE, OKAY, OKAY. AND SO WE GO THERE TO YOUTH GROUP THAT NIGHT. WE PRAY FOR HIM. EVERYBODY GIVES A PRAISE. IT'S A WHOLE THING. AND I REMEMBER LEAVING AND FOR THE NEXT FEW DAYS, IT FELT LIKE THE LORD WAS LIKE, HARASSING ME ABOUT FORGIVENESS OVER AND OVER AND OVER AGAIN. LIKE BILLBOARDS AND TV SHOWS. YOU KNOW HOW IT IS. WHEN GOD'S TRYING TO TALK TO YOU, HE WILL TALK TO YOU.
YOU'LL SEE IT EVERYWHERE. YOU'RE LIKE, LEAVE ME ALONE!
RIGHT, RIGHT. SO THAT WAS HAPPENING, AND I KNEW THAT I NEEDED TO FORGIVE MY STEPDAD, THAT THAT WAS THE NEXT PART OF MY SPIRITUAL JOURNEY, AND SO ONE DAY, I FINALLY FELT LED TO GO INTO THE HOSPITAL ROOM. AT THE TIME, MY STEPDAD WAS IN THE HOSPITAL. HE WAS ON HIS DEATH BED, AND HE COULDN'T EVEN TALK ANYMORE LIKE HE WAS THAT SICK. AND I REMEMBER GOING IN AND THINKING, OKAY, THIS IS THE DAY THAT I'M GOING TO FORGIVE HIM TODAY. AND SO I WALKED INTO THE HOSPITAL ROOM AND I READ.
I ASKED HIM IF I COULD READ A SCRIPTURE WITH HIM, AND HE NODDED HIS HEAD, YES. I READ LIKE A BIBLE PASSAGE WITH HIM. AND THEN AFTER THAT I JUST BEGAN TO TALK TO HIM AND I SAID, HEY, YOU KNOW, I KNOW YOU HAVEN'T BEEN A PERFECT FATHER, BUT YOU YOU WERE IN MY HOME IN THE WAY THAT MY OWN FATHER WASN'T OVER THE YEARS. AND I TOLD HIM ALL THE THINGS I WAS THANKFUL FOR THAT HE DID DO. AND THEN I SAID, I JUST WANT YOU TO KNOW THAT I FORGIVE YOU. I FORGIVE YOU FOR EVERYTHING YOU'VE EVER DONE TO ME.
I FORGIVE YOU FOR EVERYTHING YOU'VE EVER DONE TO MY MOM. I FORGIVE YOU FOR THE DECISIONS THAT YOU'VE MADE. AND, IT WAS LITERALLY LIKE, I JUST FELT THIS, RELIEF. THIS, I DON'T KNOW ANOTHER WAY TO SAY IT THAN A DEEP RELIEF THAT I FELT. I FELT FREEDOM COME ON ME. AND I SAID IT. I'M CRYING. I LOOK OVER, HE'S CRYING. IT'S THIS WHOLE MOMENT AND I SAID, HEY, I WANT TO GET TO SEE YOU AGAIN DOWN THE ROAD IN THE FUTURE. DO YOU WANT TO RECEIVE JESUS AS YOUR LORD AND SAVIOR?
WOULD YOU GIVE YOUR LIFE TO JESUS SO WE CAN GET TO SEE EACH OTHER DOWN THE ROAD? I KNOW WHERE YOU WILL GO TO BE WITH THE FATHER, YOU KNOW? AND HE NODS HIS HEAD, YES. AND I'M LIKE, THIS IS CRAZY, YOU KNOW? AND SO THIS IS MY FIRST TIME GETTING TO LEAD SOMEBODY TO THE LORD WAS MY STEPDAD. YEAH, SO CATCH THIS. SO IT WAS MY FIRST TIME. SO I LITERALLY TOLD HIM, I'M LIKE, OKAY, HERE'S THE DEAL. I NEED YOU TO REPEAT AFTER ME BECAUSE THAT'S ALL I KNOW FOR SOMEBODY TO RECEIVE JESUS. BUT HE CAN'T TALK.
AND SO I'M LIKE, I SAY, JESUS, I'M WAITING FOR HIM TO REPEAT AFTER ME. HE DOESN'T SAY ANYTHING AND I'M LIKE, JESUS. HE DOESN'T SAY ANYTHING. AND I LOOKED AT HIM AND I WAS LIKE, LOOK, MAN, YOU GOT TO SAY THIS LIKE, I NEED YOU TO SAY IT OUT LOUD. YOU KNOW? AND, A COUPLE MINUTES LATER, HE REPEATS AFTER ME. HE SAYS THE WHOLE THING. IT WAS LITERALLY LIKE A MIRACLE, YOU KNOW, EVERYBODY IN THE ROOM IS LIKE, HE'S TALKING, YOU KNOW?
SO HE SAYS THE PRAYER WITH ME, I GIVE HIM A HUG AND WALK OUT OF THE HOSPITAL ROOM, AND THAT WAS IT. AND, HE ENDED UP LIVING LONGER THAN TEN DAYS, BUT THE ULTIMATE TESTIMONY IS THAT HE LIVED. HE HAD TO LIVE IN ETERNITY. HE HAD TO, HE GOT TO LIVE WAY LONGER THAN TEN DAYS. AND THE TESTIMONY, THE MOMENT THAT REALLY SHOWED ME THAT GOD HAD DONE THE WORK WAS THE MOMENT I FOUND OUT THAT HE PASSED AWAY. I WEPT LIKE A BABY.
WOW.
AND I NEVER THOUGHT I WOULD CRY THE MOMENT HE DIED BECAUSE I HAD SO MUCH BITTERNESS IN MY HEART, YOU KNOW? AND SO GOD REALLY DID IT. HE COMPLETELY RESTORED, HEALED OUR RELATIONSHIP, AND IT WAS MY FIRST TIME GETTING TO SEE THE BEAUTY OF GOD'S LOVE FOR SOMEONE, THAT SOMEBODY COULD LIVE 60-PLUS YEARS OF A WRETCHED LIFE, AND DAYS BEFORE THEY'RE CALLED INTO ETERNITY, GOD COULD SAY, HEY, COME ON IN. AND I'M LIKE, MAN, WE'RE NOT LIKE THAT, WE'RE JUST, I'M JUST, I KNOW I'M NOT LIKE THAT.
I'M LIKE YOU, 60 YEARS, I DON'T KNOW. YOU KNOW, AND SO GOD IS SO AMAZING IN THE WAY HE LOVES US. AND ANYWAY, THAT MARKED MY LIFE. BUT THE SCHOTTS WERE A BIG PART OF THAT STORY HAPPENING. AND SO CRAZY FULL CIRCLE NOW, GETTING TO LIVE LIFE WITH THEM AND THEN BEING A PART OF THE BIGGEST FORGIVENESS STORY IN MY LIFE.
AND THAT WAS SUCH A BEAUTIFUL MOMENT WHERE YOU WERE OBEDIENT AND IT LED TO A MAN'S LIFE BEING MARKED AND CHANGED FOREVER, THAT YOU'LL GET TO SEE HIM IN ETERNITY. AND GOD CAN DO THAT. HE CAN TAKE THE MOST BROKEN OF PEOPLE IN RELATIONSHIPS AND BRING RESTORATION.
AND IT'S BEAUTIFUL. AND HE DOES IT IN THE RIGHT TIMING, AND A LOT OF TIMES, IT'S NOT UNTIL PEOPLE ARE RIGHT ABOUT TO FACE DEATH THAT THEY'RE WILLING TO POSTURE THEIR HEARTS AND THANK GOD FOR THAT, BECAUSE WE WANT OUR LOVED ONES TO BE WITH US IN ETERNITY. SO THAT'S IN HIGH SCHOOL. SO YOU LIVE OUT YOUR HIGH SCHOOL DAYS. AND YOU OBVIOUSLY GO OFF TO COLLEGE. TALK ABOUT THAT.
YEAH. SO MY STEPDAD PASSED AWAY. HIS FUNERAL WAS THE FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL MY JUNIOR YEAR. AND SO FINISHED OUT HIGH SCHOOL, I WANTED TO STUDY CORPORATE COMMUNICATION. FELT CALLED INTO THE CORPORATE WORLD, FELT LIKE I WAS GOING TO BE WORKING IN BUSINESS SPACE SOMEWHERE.
THAT'S SO FUNNY KNOWING YOU NOW.
I KNOW, IT'S SO, IT'S WEIRD.
I DON'T THINK ANYONE WOULD THINK THAT.
I KNOW, I KNOW.
BUT HEY, MORE THAN MEETS THE EYE. YOU GOT THAT BUSINESS MIND TOO.
YEAH, I MEAN, I WANTED TO WORK FOR, LIKE, A TV NETWORK OR RADIO STATION OR RECORD LABEL, SOMETHING LIKE THAT. AND SO I'M GOING TO PURSUE THAT. AND ONE OF THE FIRST THINGS THAT HAPPENED IS ALONG THE WAY, I START GETTING ALL THESE PROPHETIC WORDS ABOUT DOING MUSIC.
WAS MUSIC IN YOUR VIEW SCREEN AT THAT TIME?
NOT AT ALL.
REALLY?
NO. I MEAN, I WAS ON THE WORSHIP TEAM, BUT LIKE I WAS ON I WAS THE PERSON ON THE WORSHIP TEAM WHERE YOUR MIC GETS TURNED DOWN LOW AND YOU'RE LIKE, UP THERE FOR EXPRESSION. YOU KNOW, LIKE, THAT WAS ME FOR SURE.
THAT'S SO WEIRD BECAUSE YOU'RE SUCH A GOOD SINGER. THAT'S HARD FOR ME TO IMAGINE.
WELL, THE LORD DOES WORKS. HE DOES THINGS. YEAH. AND SO I'M GETTING THESE PROPHETIC WORDS ABOUT MUSIC AND I'M LIKE, NO, YOU KNOW.
DID YOU PLAY ANY INSTRUMENTS?
NO.
REALLY?
NOTHING, NOTHING. AND I DIDN'T --
SORRY, Y'ALL, I'M JUST LIKE, I'VE SEEN HER LEAD WORSHIP SO MANY TIMES. I'M TRIPPING OUT BECAUSE SO MANY TIMES IT'S LIKE I'VE DONE IT SINCE I WAS A KID, YOU KNOW? SO I'M JUST TRIPPING OUT.
NO.
SO YOU GET THESE PROPHETIC WORDS. IT'S PROBABLY WEIRD FOR YOU BECAUSE YOU SAW THIS WAY, AND THAT WORD WAS LIKE, THAT WAY.
YES. I MEAN, I WAS A BASKETBALL PLAYER, YOU KNOW, SO LAST THING I'M THINKING ABOUT IS DOING MUSIC, AND I DIDN'T WANT TO BE ON A PLATFORM IN FRONT OF ANYBODY. I GREW UP IN CHURCH, SAW A LOT BEHIND THE SCENES, AND I WAS LIKE, I DON'T WANT TO BE WEIRD. I DON'T WANT TO. I WANT TO LIKE, I DON'T WANT TO DO THIS. I DON'T WANT TO BE ON PLATFORMS IN FRONT OF PEOPLE AND STUFF. AND SO ANYWAY, I GOT A BUNCH OF WORDS.
AND THEN LONG STORY SHORT, I WAS WEEPING ONE DAY TO ONE OF MY MENTORS, AND I WAS LIKE, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO. I KEEP GETTING THESE WORDS. I CAN'T SING, DON'T PLAY AN INSTRUMENT. I DON'T WANT TO BE IN FRONT OF PEOPLE. AND SHE SAID, JASMINE, GOD'S INVITING YOU INTO PART OF YOUR DESTINY. YOU CAN EITHER SAY YES TO GOD AND HE'LL SHOW YOU WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE, OR YOU CAN SAY NO, AND HE'LL USE SOMEBODY ELSE TO DO IT. BUT YOU NEED TO MAKE UP YOUR MIND.
AND I WAS JUST LIKE, YOU KNOW, LIKE, THAT'S SUCH AN ULTIMATUM, YOU KNOW? AND SO I, GAVE THE LORD MY YES, WROTE IT IN MY JOURNAL, KIND OF MADE IT LIKE D-DAY, YOU KNOW. AND THEN A FEW WEEKS AFTER THAT, THE LORD BEGAN TO TEACH ME HOW TO PLAY THE GUITAR.
THAT'S SO COOL.
AND ALL THESE DOORS STARTED OPENING TO LEAD WORSHIP PLACES, AND PEOPLE WOULD CALL AND BE LIKE, HEY, CAN YOU COME LEAD WORSHIP AT THIS SMALL GROUP THING? AND I'M LIKE, HOW DO YOU KNOW THAT I LEAD WORSHIP, AND THEY'RE LIKE, WE JUST HEARD YOUR NAME. YOU KNOW, GOD TOLD US TO CALL YOU OR WHATEVER. AND I'M LIKE, THIS IS WEIRD.
THAT'S WILD.
SO THAT'S HOW THE WORSHIP SIDE OF THINGS STARTED, AND I WASN'T EXPECTING IT AT ALL, YOU KNOW? AND SO THAT WAS THE FIRST KIND OF STRANGE THING THAT HAPPENED IN COLLEGE WAS MUSIC OPENING UP THE MINISTRY SIDE OF THINGS, OPENING UP, PLAYING AT CHURCHES, PLAYING CONFERENCES, ALL THAT KIND OF STUFF.
SO, WOW. SO THAT WAS THE BEGINNING OF THAT JOURNEY. SO AT THE SAME TIME, YOU WERE A D1 ATHLETE.
YES.
SO TALK ABOUT THAT.
YEAH. YEAH. I PLAYED COLLEGE BASKETBALL. I GOT IN, I GOT A FULL RIDE DIVISION ONE SCHOLARSHIP FOR BASKETBALL BY THE SKIN OF MY TEETH.
I DON'T KNOW. THAT'S PRETTY IMPRESSIVE, THOUGH, FOR D1.
NO, WE DON'T HAVE TO GET ALL THE WAY INTO IT. BUT I PLAYED THE BEST GAME OF MY LIFE WHEN SOME COLLEGE COACHES WERE AT OUR OUR SCHOOL.
REALLY?
AND SO I THINK IT WAS THE LORD.
YEAH.
YEAH, YOU CAN GO FIND MY STATS. YOU'LL BE LIKE, YEAH, IT WAS THE LORD, YOU KNOW, BUT I ENDED UP PLAYING COLLEGE BALL AND, JUST REALLY THE LORD CONNECTED ME REALLY EARLY ON TO PEOPLE WHO REALLY LOVE JESUS ON MY CAMPUS. AND SO WE JUST GOT TO SEE GOD MOVE. WE WERE SEEING PEOPLE GET HEALED, PEOPLE GET SAVED, DELIVERANCE HAPPEN, ALL KINDS OF CRAZY STUFF.
WHICH IS NOT MOST PEOPLE'S COLLEGE EXPERIENCE.
RIGHT?
USUALLY PEOPLE WHILE OUT OF COLLEGE, YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?
YEAH, NO, I WAS IN LOVE WITH JESUS ALREADY BY THIS TIME. AND I TOLD THE LORD AS SOON AS I GOT THERE, LORD, CONNECT ME TO THE REVIVALISTS ON THE CAMPUS. I DON'T WANT TO JUST GET CONNECTED TO. AND I HAVE NOTHING AGAINST ALL THE DIFFERENT CHRISITIAN MINISTRIES. BUT I WAS JUST LIKE, I JUST REALLY WANT TO MEET PEOPLE WHO ARE SERIOUS ABOUT THIS. I DON'T WANT TO PLAY GAMES WITH IT.
YOU WANTED PEOPLE WHO WERE, YOU KNOW, FULLY SURRENDERED, COMMITTED, YOU KNOW, HAD MADE UP THEIR MINDS.
AND THAT'S HOW THE REVIVALISTS ARE, YOU KNOW.
YEAH. AND IT WAS KIND OF FUNNY. THIS GUY COMES UP TO ME AND A GROUP OF GIRLS. WE WERE HANGING OUT AND HE'S LIKE, HEY, WE GOT THIS BIBLE STUDY THAT WE DO. AND HE STARTS SAYING ALL THIS STUFF THAT THEY DO. WE SEE PEOPLE HEAL. WE SEE PEOPLE DELIVERED. WE PRAY IN THE SPIRIT. PEOPLE, YOU KNOW, HE WAS JUST GOING ON THIS LIST AND ALL THE GIRLS WERE LIKE LOOKING LIKE, WHO IS THIS GUY? AND I WAS LIKE, HEY, WHAT'S YOUR NAME?
LIKE, I PRAYED FOR YOU TO COME FIND ME, YOU KNOW, LIKE, I WANT TO HANG OUT WITH YOU GUYS. AND SO, STARTED BUILDING WITH THEM. IT WAS AMAZING, INCREDIBLE EXPERIENCE WITH THE LORD IN COLLEGE AND THEN MY EVERY, EVERY YEAR PLAYING BASKETBALL. I GOT INJURED, SO FRESHMAN, SOPHOMORE, JUNIOR YEAR, I GOT INJURED AND I HATED PLAYING. I DID NOT WANT TO PLAY, BUT I GOT A SCHOLARSHIP AND FELT LIKE THE LORD TOLD ME TO GO.
DO YOU FEEL LIKE THAT BASKETBALL WAS A TICKET FOR YOU TO GO TO WHERE GOD WANTED YOU TO BE, COLLEGE-WISE?
YEAH, ABSOLUTELY.
AND SO YOU DID, BECAUSE IT GAVE YOU A FULL RIDE.
YES.
AND SO IT BROUGHT YOU WHERE YOU NEEDED TO BE, BUT YOU DIDN'T GET JOY IN THE GAME.
NO, NO.
YOU WERE JUST DOING IT SO YOU COULD FINISH OUT YOUR COLLEGE CAREER.
YEAH. SOME PEOPLE FIND THEIR IDENTITY, YOU KNOW, IN THEIR SPORT OR WHAT THEY DO. AND I JUST, I WASN'T THAT PERSON. I DIDN'T REALLY WANT TO BE THERE PLAYING. BUT I KNEW I HAD TO BE, YOU KNOW, AND --
WELL, IT'S INTENSE. I MEAN, COLLEGE SPORTS, ESPECIALLY IF YOU'RE D1, IT'S VERY INTENSE. AND IF YOU DON'T DO GOOD, YOU'RE GOING TO FEEL LIKE YOU LET PEOPLE DOWN. I DON'T KNOW, I ALWAYS TOLD MY HUSBAND I WOULD NOT WANT TO BE IN THAT POSITION.
OH, NO, NO, NO. YEAH.
BECAUSE PEOPLE TAKE, I MEAN, PEOPLE WORSHIP SPORTS.
OH, YEAH. IT'S INTENSE. I TELL PEOPLE LIKE ATHLETES THAT I MEET THAT ARE YOUNGER, YOU KNOW, TRYING TO DECIDE. I'M LIKE, ONLY GO IF YOU ARE REALLY PASSIONATE ABOUT THIS OR YOU FEEL LIKE THE LORD IS TELLING YOU TO GO, IT'S NOT FOR THE FAINT OF HEART. SO I LEARNED A LOT. I GREW A LOT THROUGH THE WHOLE THING, BUT I GOT INJURED EVERY YEAR, AND MY SENIOR YEAR I ACTUALLY TORE MY ACL, SO I WAS THE MOST EXCITED TO PLAY MY SENIOR YEAR, AND I GET EIGHT GAMES INTO THE SEASON.
I THINK IT WAS ABOUT EIGHT GAMES. WE WERE PLAYING OUR RIVAL AND I TORE MY ACL DURING THE GAME, AND THAT WAS THE END OF MY CAREER. I WAS JUST DONE.
THAT'S A REALLY BAD INJURY.
OH, YEAH. YEAH. AND IF YOU TEAR YOUR ACL, YOU'RE PRETTY MUCH DONE. PLAYING, THAT'S WHAT THE DOCTORS WOULD SAY. YOU KNOW. AND SO REALLY BAD INJURY. I DIDN'T ACTUALLY FEEL PAIN WHEN I GOT INJURED. I CRIED WHEN THEY TOLD ME IT WAS MY ACL BECAUSE I KNOW I KNEW WHAT IT MEANT.
YEAH. YOU KNEW IT WAS OVER.
YEAH, YEAH. AND SO, THAT HAPPENED.
RIGHT WHEN YOU STARTED TO LIKE IT.
I KNOW, I KNOW, I'M LIKE, I ACTUALLY ENJOY THIS RIGHT NOW.
AND IT WAS YOUR SENIOR YEAR, RIGHT?
YEAH.
SO THAT'S LIKE THE YEAR WHERE IT'S LIKE A BIG DEAL.
YEAH. YEAH. TEAM CAPTAINS, STARTING POINT GUARD, ALL THE THINGS LIKE THE TEAM CHAPLAIN, YOU KNOW, THE JUST ALL THE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO. AND SO ANYWAY, SO THAT HAPPENED AND I HAD TO GET A SURGERY. AND SO THEY DO THE SURGERY, AND THEN IT TAKES TIME TO RECOVER. AND SO IN THE MIDST OF RECOVERY, ONE OF MY TEAMMATES STEPPED IN TO REALLY HELP ME OUT AND JUST TO HELP TAKE CARE OF WHAT WAS HAPPENING.
AND, WHEN THIS TEAMMATE HAD COME INTO OUR TEAM, THE LORD HAD BASICALLY SHOWN ME THAT HE WAS GOING TO DRAW HER TO HIMSELF, THAT HE WANTED HER, YOU KNOW. AND SO I WAS EXCITED. I'M LIKE, OKAY, LORD'S GOING TO DO SOMETHING WITH HER, YOU KNOW? AND SO HERE I AM. AND, ANYWAY, SHE STARTS HELPING ME WITH MY SURGERY, HELP TAKING CARE OF ME, ALL THE THINGS. AND ALONG THE WAY, AS WE'RE JUST FRIENDS, IT WAS LIKE WE STARTED CROSSING BOUNDARIES EMOTIONALLY.
PHYSICALLY. AND QUICKLY. SOMETHING THAT WAS PURE, SOMETHING THAT WAS A GODSEND OF A FRIENDSHIP BECAME PERVERTED AND BECAME SOMETHING THAT GOD DIDN'T INTEND IT TO BE. AND BEFORE I KNEW IT, IT WAS LIKE I WOKE UP ONE DAY AND REALIZED, I'M IN A HOMOSEXUAL RELATIONSHIP AND I NEVER IN MY WILDEST IMAGINATION THOUGHT THAT THIS WOULD BE THE THING THAT WOULD HAPPEN TO MY LIFE. NEVER STRUGGLED WITH SAME-SEX ATTRACTION. THAT WAS NEVER A PART OF MY JOURNEY. STILL HAVEN'T. NEVER BEEN A PART OF MY JOURNEY.
IT'S NOT SOMETHING THAT'S BEEN A TEMPTATION. IT WAS LITERALLY A FRIENDSHIP THAT JUST TURNED TOXIC, BECAUSE WE WERE BOTH JUST IN A BAD PLACE. WE WERE BOTH UNHEALTHY, AND THAT SEASON OF LIFE, AND IT'S KIND OF INTERESTING.
I MEET A LOT OF PEOPLE NOW WHO HAVE THIS SAME STORY WHERE THEY DON'T NECESSARILY IDENTIFY AS A HOMOSEXUAL OR SOMEBODY IN THAT LIFESTYLE, OR SOMEBODY THAT STRUGGLES WITH SAME-SEX ATTRACTION, BUT THEY FIND THEMSELVES IN AN UNHEALTHY FRIENDSHIP WHERE FRIENDSHIP BECOMES CODEPENDENT OR TOXIC AND THEY CAN'T FIGURE OUT HOW THEY ENDED UP THERE. AND THEN THE ENEMY PLAYS ON IT AND SAYS, WELL, YOU MUST BE GAY BECAUSE YOU ARE IN THIS RELATIONSHIP NOW.
AND SO THAT'S WHAT HAPPENED TO ME, IT'S A PRETTY MAJOR PART OF MY COLLEGE STORY. I WAS ON THE VERY TAIL END OF MY COLLEGE LIFE, AND, DEFINITELY I WAS AFRAID, I FELT LIKE I WAS TRAPPED. I FELT LIKE I DIDN'T KNOW HOW TO GET OUT OF THAT RELATIONSHIP, BECAUSE I WAS FOLLOWING JESUS. IT WASN'T LIKE I WAS NOT WALKING WITH THE LORD AND WAS JUST LIVING A LIFESTYLE OF SIN. IT WAS, I WAS PURSUING GOD. I WAS IN LOVE WITH THE LORD.
BUT I FOUND MYSELF IN A SEASON WHERE I WAS REALLY OFFENDED AT GOD, OFFENDED AT THE PEOPLE, THE FRIENDSHIPS IN MY LIFE, AND I WAS REALLY VULNERABLE BECAUSE OF THE INJURY. AND SO, YOU KNOW, THERE'S THIS MOMENT IN THE BIBLE WHERE IT SAYS THAT JESUS WAS BEING TEMPTED IN THE WILDERNESS, AND IT SAYS THAT SATAN LEFT UNTIL A MORE OPPORTUNE TIME. THAT SCRIPTURE LETS ME KNOW THAT THE ENEMY IS AWARE OF OPPORTUNE TIMES IN OUR LIFE. AND THAT WAS AN OPPORTUNE TIME IN MY LIFE.
I WAS VERY VULNERABLE, I WAS WEAK, I WAS OFFENDED, I WAS SAD, I WAS DISCONNECTED FROM COMMUNITY, AND THE ENEMY JUMPED IN IN A VULNERABLE MOMENT IN MY LIFE.
AND THAT'S WHAT HE ALWAYS DOES. AND I AM GLAD YOU SET THE STAGE FOR THAT MOMENT, BECAUSE IT WAS NOT ON YOUR RADAR, BUT YOU, I REMEMBER YOU SAYING THAT YOUR CHURCH COMMUNITY WAS FAR AWAY AND HERE YOU ARE. YOU WERE LOVING SOMETHING. THAT DREAM IS OVER. AND YOU'RE ALL ON YOUR OWN. AND SHE WAS THE ONE PERSON TO COME STEP IN. AND SO YOU WERE HURT BY THE PEOPLE WHO WEREN'T THERE. AND HERE YOU WERE IN YOUR OWN CHILDHOOD. YOU HAD TO DEAL WITH THAT.
AND SO I ALMOST WONDER IF THAT ALMOST TRIGGERED THAT OLD STUFF, AS WELL, WHICH MADE YOU OPEN TO HERE'S THIS PERSON BEING A GOOD FRIEND. AND THEN THE NEXT THING YOU KNOW, SOMETHING, IT CAN LEAD TO SOMETHING LIKE THAT BECAUSE YOU'RE JUST, THE HEART KNOWS THAT IT NEEDS SOMETHING, BUT THE SOUL ISN'T GOOD AT FIGURING OUT WHAT IT IS.
YES, OR HOW TO GET IT OR WHAT IT SHOULD BE. YEAH, YEAH.
THE BIBLE SAYS THE HEART IS OVERLY, I THINK, DECEPTIVE AND ALL THESE. SO WE CAN'T TRUST OUR SOULS. AND I THINK THAT'S SUCH AN IMPORTANT JOURNEY AND SUCH AN IMPORTANT, I MEAN, SUCH AN IMPORTANT TESTIMONY TO SHARE, TO HELP PEOPLE SEE, TO BE AWARE OF WHAT'S GOING ON IN THEIR HEARTS AND ALSO TO UNDERSTAND THAT EVEN IF YOU GO THROUGH SOMETHING LIKE THIS, THAT DOESN'T MAKE YOU WHO YOU ARE. WE ARE NOT THE SINS WE COMMIT. WE ARE WHO WE ARE IN CHRIST.
AND I THINK ONE OF THE IMPORTANT THINGS YOU TALK ABOUT IS HOW THE ENEMY, WHICH HAS DONE THIS TO ME IN MY LIFE WITH DIFFERENT THINGS, AS WELL, HE'LL TRY TO COME IN AND WHISPER LIES TO YOU ABOUT YOUR IDENTITY, BECAUSE HE WANTS YOU TO COME INTO AGREEMENT WITH THAT, BECAUSE WHAT YOU BELIEVE ABOUT YOURSELF IS HOW YOU'LL LIVE OUT YOUR LIFE.
YES.
AND SO WHAT DID HE DO TO YOU IN THOSE MOMENTS WHEN YOU WERE STRUGGLING WITH THIS?
YEAH. I MEAN, I REMEMBER, I DISTINCTLY REMEMBER MOMENTS WHILE I WAS IN THIS RELATIONSHIP WITH THIS GIRL WHERE I WOULD HEAR THIS VOICE OF THE ENEMY SAYING, WELL, LOOK AT YOU. YOU MUST BE GAY. WELL, LOOK AT YOU. YOU MUST BE A LESBIAN. WELL, LOOK AT YOU. YOU MUST BE, YOU KNOW, AND I REMEMBER JUST FEELING LIKE IT WOULD BE LIKE THE WHOLE, IT'S LIKE I COULD FEEL THE HOLY SPIRIT COMING UP AND, LIKE, DEFENDING ME. LIKE, ABSOLUTELY NOT. WE'RE NOT GOING TO DO THAT. YOU KNOW?
AND IT WAS LIKE I COULD NEVER QUITE MAKE AN AGREEMENT WITH THAT OPTION, WITH THAT STATEMENT, WITH THAT LIE, YOU KNOW, AND I'M SO THANKFUL FOR THAT. AND I KNOW THAT'S NOT EVERYBODY'S STORY, BUT, FOR ME, I FEEL LIKE THE LORD KEPT ME FROM MAKING AN AGREEMENT.
HE PROTECTED YOU.
YEAH. I REALLY FEEL THAT. AND I THINK MY JOURNEY MIGHT HAVE LOOKED A LITTLE DIFFERENT IF I WOULD HAVE MADE AGREEMENT WITH THAT STATEMENT AT THAT TIME OF MY LIFE,
BECAUSE THE BATTLEGROUND IS IN THE MIND.
YES.
AND HE KNEW THE WEAK PARTS. HE KNEW THE HURTS WITHIN YOUR OWN HEART AND IN YOUR OWN SOUL, AND HOW YOU WERE VULNERABLE TO THAT. AND I THINK THAT'S WHY I SAID, AGAIN, IT'S IMPORTANT THAT WE GET INNER HEALING AND THAT WE LEARN THROUGH THESE. AND YOU CAN ONLY LEARN THROUGH EXPERIENCE. AND GOD, YOU KNOW, THROUGH THESE THINGS WE GO THROUGH, HE CAN SHINE THE LIGHT ON IT AND SAY, OKAY, LET'S DEAL WITH THIS NOW.
YEAH.
YOU KNOW, BUT IT'S NOT UNTIL LATER ON IN LIFE AND OUR OLD STUFF RISES UP TO THE SURFACE. YOU'RE LIKE, OH, THAT WAS THERE. AND HE'S LIKE, YEP. AND NOW IT'S TIME TO DEAL WITH IT.
FOR SURE.
OKAY. SO YOU'RE WITH THIS GIRL. AND DID SHE FEEL CONVICTED AT ALL OR SHE HADN'T COME TO THE LORD YET?
NO, SHE WASN'T A FOLLOWER OF JESUS YET. SHE WASN'T A CHRISTIAN YET.
BUT YOU WERE FEELING IT.
OH, YEAH. YEAH, I WAS.
BECAUSE YOU WERE FOLLOWING THE LORD?
YES. SO THAT CONVICTION WAS ALIVE AND WELL. AND I WILL HONESTLY SAY IT FELT LIKE THE CONVICTION WAS LESSENING THE MORE THAT I REJECTED IT.
THAT'S WHAT HAPPENS. IT'S LIKE THE TURNING OF THE HEART OR THE HARDENING OF THE HEART. AND WHEN YOU WONDER WHEN YOU SEE BELIEVERS WHO GO FULL ON IT, THAT'S WHY, IT'S THAT'S WHY THIS STORY IS SO IMPORTANT, BECAUSE THAT HAPPENS TO SO MANY BELIEVERS. IT'S JUST APATHY AND HARDENING IN OUR HEART. AND THEN YOU JUST COMPLETELY GROW COLD AND TURN AWAY FROM THE LORD. THANK GOD WE CAN, IN THE MOMENT OF THAT HAPPENING, WE CAN REPENT AT ANY PART OF THAT STAGE AND TURN BACK.
YES.
AND SOMETIMES GOD HAS TO DO SOME THINGS TO GET OUR ATTENTION, THANK GOD.
YES, I'M SO THANKFUL.
AND GOD GOT YOUR ATTENTION BECAUSE YOU ACTUALLY ASKED FOR HELP.
YEAH, YEAH, I FELT LIKE I WAS AT MY ROCK BOTTOM. AND FOR ME, THAT ROCK BOTTOM WAS THIS YOUNG LADY STARTED ASKING ME ABOUT THE LORD.
OH, RIGHT. I WOULD BE DYING.
YEAH. AND SO HERE I AM, A LITTLE EVANGELIST ON MY CAMPUS, AND I'M IN THIS SCENARIO, AND THE GIRL THAT THE LORD TOLD ME THAT HE WANTED HER, NOW SHE'S ASKING ME ABOUT THE LORD. AND I DIDN'T FEEL LIKE I COULD DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT BECAUSE I WAS A STUMBLING BLOCK KEEPING HER IN SIN. AND SO I'M LIKE, I CAN'T TELL HER ABOUT JESUS WHILE I'M IN THIS MESS WITH HER. AND SO THAT WAS LIKE, LIKE THAT. THAT REALLY HIT ME HARD AS SHE, WHEN SHE STARTED ASKING ME ABOUT THE LORD.
AND SO ONE DAY I JUST SAID, LORD, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO, BUT YOUR WORD SAYS THAT WHEN WE ARE IN TEMPTATION, THAT TEMPTATION WILL COME, AND WHEN IT COMES THAT YOU WILL PROVIDE, YOU WILL ALWAYS PROVIDE A WAY OUT. AND SO I SAID, WELL, LORD, I GIVE YOU PERMISSION TO, YES, PROVIDE A WAY OUT, LIKE I WANT TO FIND IT. HELP ME SEE IT. BUT YOU CAN DO ANYTHING YOU WANT TO DO TO MAKE THAT WAY. SO I'M LIKE, YOU CAN GIVE SOMEBODY A DREAM, A PROPHETIC WORD.
YOU CAN WRITE IT ON A BILLBOARD, PUT IT IN THE CLOUDS, LIKE WHATEVER IT TAKES TO MAKE A WAY FOR ME OUT, BECAUSE I DIDN'T FEEL LIKE I COULD GET OUT ON MY OWN. I NEEDED A WAY TO GET OUT. AND SO THE NEXT DAY, A FRIEND OF MINE CALLED ME AND SHE WAS LIKE, HEY, I KNOW THIS IS REALLY RANDOM. I HAD A DREAM ABOUT YOU LAST NIGHT, AND SHE SAYS, IT'S PROBABLY SYMBOLIC OF SOMETHING ELSE BECAUSE I KNOW YOU NEVER STRUGGLE WITH THIS, BUT I HAD A DREAM THAT YOU WERE IN THIS RELATIONSHIP WITH THIS GIRL.
SHE DESCRIBES THE GIRL, TELLS ME HER NAME, AND TELLS ME A SCENE OF A PLACE THAT WE WERE TOGETHER. AND I KNEW.
WERE YOU TRIPPING OUT?
I WAS TRIPPING, I'M LIKE, THIS IS THE WAY. LIKE SHE JUST, THE LORD JUST MADE A WAY OUT THROUGH THIS GIRL'S DREAM. AND HE KNEW I NEEDED IT LIKE THAT. AND SO SHE'S LIKE, YEAH, IT'S PROBABLY SYMBOLIC. WHAT DO YOU THINK IT MEANS? AND I WAS LIKE, NO, NO, NO, IT'S NOT SYMBOLIC. I TOLD GOD I WOULD TAKE THE WAY OUT IF HE GAVE IT. THIS IS MY WAY OUT. AND I BEGIN TO TELL HER EVERYTHING THAT HAD HAPPENED, EVERYTHING THAT WAS HAPPENING. I JUST BROUGHT IT INTO THE LIGHT. AND SHE RESPONDED SO BEAUTIFULLY.
IT WAS LIKE THE PERFECT PERSON THAT IT WAS THE MOST PERFECT PERSON THAT IT COULD HAVE BEEN. AND SO I TOLD HER EVERYTHING. SHE RESPONDED SO BEAUTIFULLY. AND THEN SHE HELPED ME BRING IT TO, SOME OF MY LEADERS IN MY LIFE; FRIENDS, FAMILY, PEOPLE THAT I WAS RUNNING WITH IN MY COMMUNITY. I JUST STARTED GETTING IT IN THE LIGHT, AND THE MORE I BROUGHT IT INTO THE LIGHT, THE MORE FREEDOM THERE WAS AND THE MORE IT ALLOWED ME AND THIS OTHER GIRL TO WALK IN FREEDOM. AND IT WAS REALLY COOL.
I EVENTUALLY WENT BACK SUPER IMMEDIATELY WENT TO THE GIRL. I TOLD HER, HEY, THIS IS WHAT HAPPENED. TOLD HER ABOUT THE DREAM, AND I SAID, THIS IS NOT GOD'S BEST FOR YOU AND IT'S NOT GOD'S BEST FOR ME, AND WE CAN'T DO THIS ANYMORE. AND SO I GOT A CHANCE TO TELL HER THE GOSPEL. SHE GAVE HER LIFE TO JESUS. I GOT A CHANCE TO BE A PART OF HER BAPTISM. AND THE LORD, LITERALLY, IT WAS JUST A MIRACLE OF WHAT HE DID.
WOW.
AND HONESTLY, LIKE, I THOUGHT, AND THIS IS A WHOLE 'NOTHER TOPIC, BUT I REALLY THOUGHT I COULD HELP DISCIPLE HER TO THE LORD. IT WAS FOOLISHNESS. AND SO WHAT ENDED UP HAPPENING IS -- YEAH, YEAH. AND I THINK A LOT OF PEOPLE MAYBE FALL INTO THAT TRAP.
YEP.
AND, I THOUGHT I COULD DISCIPLE HER. AND SO WHAT HAPPENED WAS THERE WAS MONTHS DOWN THE ROAD WHERE WE WOULD FALL AGAIN OR FALL AGAIN BECAUSE I WAS, THE BIBLE TALKS ABOUT NOT MAKING PROVISION FOR YOUR FLESH.
EXACTLY.
AND SO HERE I AM FOR HOWEVER MANY MONTHS IT WAS WITH HER BOUND IN THE SIN. AND SO THEN WE STEP OUT OF IT. BUT THEN I KEEP PUTTING MYSELF IN A POSITION WHERE I DON'T HAVE A RENEWED MIND. I HAVEN'T BEEN HEALED. I HAVEN'T LIKE WORKED THROUGH EVERYTHING WITH THE LORD YET, AND I KEEP PUTTING MYSELF BACK IN THE SAME POSITION.
AND SO WE FELL A FEW MORE TIMES AFTER THAT, AND IT WAS PROBABLY A TOTAL OF ABOUT TWO YEARS WHERE IT TOOK ME TO, WHERE I FELT LIKE I WAS COMPLETELY FREE FROM EVERYTHING THAT HAD HAPPENED, WHERE I FELT LIKE I WAS COMPLETELY WHOLE AND HEALED FROM THE WHOLE SITUATION. BUT IT WAS A PROCESS. I HAD TO SAY, I HAD TO COMPLETELY SHUT DOWN THE FRIENDSHIP AND SAY, HEY, I'M SORRY, SOMEBODY ELSE IS GOING TO HAVE TO WALK YOU THROUGH DISCIPLESHIP AND WALK YOU THROUGH THIS PROCESS.
I CAN'T TAKE IT, TAKE YOU FROM HERE. SOMEBODY ELSE WILL DO IT. I TRUST GOD, I TRUST THAT HE WILL RAISE UP SOMEBODY ELSE. HE LOVES YOU MORE THAN I CARE ABOUT YOU. HE CARES MORE THAN I CARE, AND SO, KIND OF CUT THAT OFF. AND THEN BEGAN MY OWN PERSONAL PROCESS OF JUST HEALING.
AND EVERY TIME I HAD A TEMPTATION OR A THOUGHT, I WOULD BRING IT UP TO A FRIEND OR SOMEBODY AND JUST SAY, HEY, I HAD THIS THOUGHT, HAD THIS DESIRE COME UP, CERTAIN SONGS, CERTAIN MOVIES THAT I WOULD JUST BE LIKE, NOPE, CAN'T WATCH THAT, CAN'T LISTEN TO THAT, HAD TO GET VIOLENT ABOUT MY FREEDOM. AND I'M THANKFUL TO SAY THE LORD HAS DONE IT OVER THE YEARS. AND, I THOUGHT IT WAS, I THOUGHT IT WOULD AFFECT MY MARRIAGE TODAY.
I JUST HAD THIS THING IN ME WHERE I'M LIKE, THIS MIGHT AFFECT THINGS DOWN THE ROAD, AND I'M SO HAPPY TO SAY, GOD REALLY HAS DONE A BEAUTIFUL, DEEP WORK OF RESTORATION AND HEALING, AND IT HASN'T AFFECTED OUR MARRIAGE. AND THAT'S A MIRACLE TO ME. SO, YEAH.
THERE'S SO MANY GOOD THINGS TO JUST UNPACK FROM THAT. I JUST LOVE HEARING A STORY WHERE PEOPLE ARE HONEST, BECAUSE FOR SO MANY OF US, IT IS A PROCESS. AND FOR SO MANY OF US, WE DO FALL BACK INTO SIN. AND THE BEAUTIFUL THING IS, AND WHAT I LOVED IS THAT YOU GOT, YOU SAID YOU GOT INTO COMMUNITY AND YOU BROUGHT IT INTO THE LIGHT. WHEN YOU HAD TORN YOUR ACL, WHAT CAME TO ME WAS YOU WERE IN ISOLATION. AND WHEN YOU ARE IN ISOLATION, THAT IS WHEN YOU ARE THE MOST VULNERABLE.
THAT'S WHY THE DEVIL WANTS TO ISOLATE PEOPLE, ISOLATE PEOPLE FROM THE CHURCH. A LOT OF TIMES, HE USES CHURCH HURT AND PEOPLE GET OFFENDED. THEY PUT THEIR WALLS UP AND THAT'S WHEN THEY'RE THE MOST VULNERABLE. WHEN JESUS WENT OUT INTO THE WILDERNESS TO BE TEMPTED, HE WAS BY HIMSELF. AND SO I JUST THINK IT'S SO BEAUTIFUL.
AND IT JUST MAKES ME THINK OF THAT VERSE IN JOHN, IT SAYS, IF WE HAVE FELLOWSHIP IN THE LIGHT, IF WE WALK IN THE LIGHT AS JESUS IS IN THE LIGHT, AND IF WE CONFESS OUR SINS, HE WILL BE FAITHFUL TO CLEANSE US FROM ALL UNRIGHTEOUSNESS. AND THAT'S THE THEME, TO WALK IN THE LIGHT. THE MOMENT YOU BRING YOUR SIN INTO THE LIGHT OF GOD, THERE IT JUST EXPOSES IT AND HAS NO POWER OVER YOU.
AND SEE, THAT'S WHAT WAS BEAUTIFUL IS, YOU ALLOWED YOURSELF TO BE VULNERABLE AND YOU WERE VULNERABLE WITH THE RIGHT PEOPLE BECAUSE THAT'S HUGE
THAT'S HUGE, TOO, YEAH.
AND THEN ANOTHER HUGE THING IS YOU HAD TO LEARN BOUNDARIES. IT, YOU KNOW, NOT EVERY PERSON IS FOR EVERY SEASON. AND I THINK IT IN MINISTRY YOU HAVE TO BE CAREFUL BECAUSE YOUR HEART WAS TO HELP HER.
YES.
BUT YOU TWO WEREN'T IN THE RIGHT PLACE. YOU COULDN'T BE THAT TO HER. AND THAT'S OKAY, BECAUSE GOD WILL PROVIDE THE PEOPLE TO BE THAT FOR HER. AND YOU GUYS, YOU KNOW, YOU NO LONGER HAVE A RELATIONSHIP. AND I THINK THAT'S IMPORTANT FOR PEOPLE TO UNDERSTAND THAT NOT EVERY PERSON IS FOR EVERY SEASON. AND IT'S OKAY TO, YOU KNOW, BLESS SOMEONE AND LET THEM LIVE THEIR LIVES, YOU KNOW, BECAUSE SOME PEOPLE ARE FOR A SEASON, SOME PEOPLE ARE FOR, YOU KNOW, THEY'RE LIFERS.
YOU KNOW, YOU'RE STILL WITH THE SCHOTTS, YOU KNOW.
YES.
SO THAT'S AN EXAMPLE OF THAT, YOU KNOW. BUT SO I THINK THAT'S SUCH A BEAUTIFUL WORD. AND PEOPLE ARE LISTENING. AND I THINK THIS IS GOING TO MINISTER TO THEM. AND I THINK MAYBE THE HOLY SPIRIT IS GOING TO START SHOWING THE PEOPLE WHO ARE LISTENING. HEY, I THINK IT'S TIME THAT WE, YES, IT'S TIME TO END THIS.
DO IT, LORD.
AND WHEN YOU GIVE THAT TO THE LORD. BECAUSE SOMETIMES WE ALLOW PEOPLE TO FILL VOIDS IN OUR HEART. BUT IT'S NOT GOOD FOR US BECAUSE ONLY GOD CAN FILL THE VOID. AND AS LONG AS WE LET THE PEOPLE DO IT, HE CAN'T DO THE HEALING AND THE FIXING AND THE FILLING. AND SO WHEN GOD WAS ABLE TO REMOVE THAT, THEN HE GOT STARTED TO BE ABLE TO WORK ON YOU.
AND HOW BEAUTIFUL IS THAT, THAT YOU WERE ABLE TO GO THROUGH THAT SEASON OF BEING SINGLE AND LETTING GOD DO THAT DEEP HEALING SO THAT YOU'RE ABLE TO WALK INTO YOUR MARRIAGE WHOLE?
YEAH.
SO THAT'S A WHOLE 'NOTHER TESTIMONY THAT, HEY, LOOK, I WAS RAISED IN THIS BROKEN HOME. YOU KNOW, MY FATHER, I DIDN'T KNOW HIM. YOU KNOW, FOR ALL THOSE YEARS, GOD DID BRING HIM BACK INTO YOUR LIFE. BUT THAT'S A LOT. AND YET YOU ARE THIS BEAUTIFUL, GLOWING. YOU KNOW, I WANT TO TALK ABOUT YOUR HUSBAND. YOU'RE HAPPILY MARRIED. BUT LOOK AT THE RESTORATION GOD HAS DONE. AND THAT'S THE THING. IT DOESN'T MATTER WHERE YOU COME FROM. IT DOESN'T MATTER WHAT YOU GO THROUGH OR WHAT YOU DEAL WITH.
BECAUSE I'VE SEEN PEOPLE FROM ALL DIFFERENT KINDS OF WALKS OF LIFE. BUT I'VE SEEN GOD WHEN HE RESTORES SOMEONE, HE WILL FULLY RESTORE THEM AND THEY CAN LIVE OUT THE FULLNESS OF HIS DESTINY. BUT IT'S DEPENDENT ON THE FULLNESS OF THEIR SURRENDER.
YEAH, THAT'S SO GOOD.
TALK ABOUT YOUR DAD. AND THEN I WANT TO TALK ABOUT YOUR HUSBAND.
YEAH, MY DAD IS AMAZING, IT'S A TESTIMONY. IT'S PART OF THE STORY. THAT'S SO BEAUTIFUL, MY MOM AND DAD, LIKE I SAID BEFORE, DIVORCED WHEN I WAS TWO, AND THEN WE DIDN'T REALLY HAVE CONTACT. WE WERE NOT IN EACH OTHER'S LIVES FOR SEVERAL YEARS WHERE HE WOULD CALL HERE AND THERE. WE'D HAVE PHONE CONVERSATIONS. MAYBE ONCE IN A BLUE MOON, A VISIT OR SOMETHING. BUT LIKE, WE REALLY DIDN'T HAVE AUTHENTIC RELATIONSHIP.
AND WHEN I GOT INTO HIGH SCHOOL, I JUST HAD A DESIRE TO HAVE RELATIONSHIP WITH MY FATHER, AND I WAS LIKE, GOD, YOU CAN DO THIS. LIKE, I DON'T KNOW WHAT THIS IS GOING TO LOOK LIKE. I KNOW HE'S A HUMAN, BUT SO AM I. AND YOU CAN DO ANYTHING, YOU KNOW? AND SO WE BEGAN. I JUST PURSUED RELATIONSHIP WITH HIM AND WE STARTED BUILDING. AND IT'S JUST. I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT TO SAY ABOUT IT. LIKE HE WAS IN MY WEDDING, HE WALKED ME DOWN THE AISLE AND WE DID OUR DADDY DAUGHTER DANCE TOGETHER.
AND IT WAS SUCH A REDEMPTIVE MOMENT. AND SO I LOVE WHAT GOD HAS DONE, BOTH IN FORGIVENESS WITH MY STEPDAD. YES, BUT ALSO WITH MY BIOLOGICAL FATHER, SO I JUST, WE GOT REDEMPTIVE STORIES ALL OVER THE PLACE. FORGIVENESS.
YOUR WHOLE LIFE IS JUST LIKE A FULL-BLOWN REDEMPTION, AND I LOVE IT. OKAY, SO YOU MOVED TO TEXAS. YOU START PASTORING AT MERCY CULTURE AS THE WORSHIP PASTOR. TELL US ABOUT HOW YOU MET YOUR HUSBAND.
YES. SO MY HUSBAND IS FROM CANADA.
CANADIANS ARE GREAT.
HE'S CANADIAN. YEAH. YEAH, YEAH. SO HE'S CANADIAN AND HE, THE LORD BROUGHT HIM TO TEXAS FOR A SHORT SEASON, SO WHILE HE WAS HERE, HE TRIED OUT FOR THE WORSHIP TEAM. HE DIDN'T MAKE THE WORSHIP TEAM. OUR LEADERSHIP TEAM SAID NO. BUT WE KNEW HIM AS CONNER FROM CANADA. IT WAS KIND OF LIKE A JOKE. LIKE THIS GUY CONNER FROM CANADA. AND THEN HE POPPED UP AT A CREATIVE NIGHT, WE HAVE A CREATIVE COMMUNITY AT OUR CHURCH, AND HE CAME TO ONE OF OUR CREATIVE NIGHTS, AND THE LORD GAVE ME A WORD FOR HIM.
AND SO I WENT UP TO HIM. DIDN'T THINK MUCH OF IT, JUST GAVE HIM THIS WORD. AND THEN, AT THE END OF THE NIGHT, HE WAS, HE CAME UP TO ME AND WAS LIKE, HEY, DO YOU NEED HELP WITH ANYTHING? IT KIND OF FELT LIKE IT CAME OUT OF HIS WAY TO ASK ME THAT QUESTION, BECAUSE WE DIDN'T KNOW EACH OTHER. SO I'M LIKE, WHO IS THIS GUY? WHAT IS HE DOING? AND I LOOK OVER A FEW MINUTES LATER AND HE'S LIKE, PICKING UP ALL THE CHAIRS. IT'S LIKE EVERY CHRISTIAN MEME ABOUT A GUY THAT LIKES A GIRL, YOU KNOW?
YEAH, AT CHURCH. LIKE HOW TO IMPRESS A CHURCH GIRL.
YEAH. SO HE'S GOT ALL THE CHAIRS AND HE'S ROLLING THE TABLES AWAY AND DOING ALL THE THINGS. AND WE JUST HAD A COUPLE OF MOMENTS WHERE IT JUST KIND OF STOOD OUT A LITTLE BIT. SO BY THE TIME I GOT HOME, I TOLD MY ROOMMATE, ONE OF MY BEST FRIENDS, I WAS LIKE, THERE'S SOMETHING UP WITH THIS GUY, CONNER. LIKE, I THINK HE HAS EYES FOR ME OR SOMETHING. LIKE, I DON'T KNOW WHAT THE DEAL IS. AND THEN FAST-FORWARD A LITTLE BIT LATER. MY PASTOR, LANDON SCHOTT, HE POSTED A BIRTHDAY INSTAGRAM POST FOR ME.
IT WAS A PHOTO OF ME. HE SAID A BUNCH OF KIND THINGS, AND AT THE VERY END, HE SAYS, AND SHE'S SINGLE, READY TO MINGLE. BUT YOU GOT TO COME THROUGH ME FIRST.
LOVE IT.
AND, JUST LIKE IF THERE WAS A DAD STATEMENT, LIKE HE'S BEEN LIKE A FATHER TO ME. AND SO WE'RE JUST LIKE A DAD STATEMENT, YOU KNOW? AND, I WOULD CONSIDER HIM A SPIRITUAL FATHER. SO HE WAS DOING HIS JOB, YOU KNOW, AND SO, CONNER, OR THIS GUY, SENDS A MESSAGE, A DM IN RESPONSE.
BOLD.
AND IT'S BOLD. I MEAN, IF YOU'RE SENDING A DM TO PASTOR LANDON, LIKE, IF YOU DON'T KNOW PASTOR LANDON, HE'S JUST. HE'S JUST BOLD. YOU KNOW, HE'S JUST A BOLD GUY. SO YOU GOT TO BE A BOLD GUY TO SEND A MESSAGE TO HIM. YOU KNOW? AND SO HE SENDS HIM A MESSAGE AND IT BASICALLY, THE BASIS OF IT IS HE SAYS, PUT ME IN THE GAME, COACH.
OH, MY GOODNESS. DID LANDON TELL YOU?
OH, YEAH. HE SENT ME A SCREENSHOT IMMEDIATELY.
OH, MY GOSH.
HE SENDS ME A SCREENSHOT AND IT'S LIKE, I LIKE HIM. AND I WAS LIKE, WHO IS THIS? LIKE, WHO IS HE SAYING HE LIKES? LIKE I NEED TO SEE WHO THIS GUY IS. SO I IMMEDIATELY GO LOOK HIM UP ON INSTAGRAM AND I REALIZE IT'S CONNER FROM CANADA.
IT'S THE GUY THAT WAS LIFTING THE CHAIRS.
YEAH, AND THE GUY THAT AUDITIONED FOR WORSHIP IS THE SAME DUDE, YOU KNOW?
OH, MY GOSH.
AND SO I FOLLOW HIM, I CHECK OUT, I STALK HIM, YOU KNOW.
AS WE ALL DO. LET'S BE REAL.
ALL MY LADY FRIENDS, WE ALL JUST, LIKE, STALK HIM THE WHOLE NIGHT, YOU KNOW, EVERYTHING WE CAN FIND ABOUT HIM. AND SO A FEW DAYS LATER, I POST SOMETHING IN MY STORIES ABOUT RELATIONSHIPS OR SOMETHING, JUST NOT THINKING ABOUT HIM. JUST POSTED SOMETHING AND HE RESPONDED IN MY DM'S AND SAID, I'M NOT WORRIED THIS GUY IS YET, BUT I'LL GET THERE. BUT LIKE SAID IT LIKE WE KNEW EACH OTHER AND I'M LIKE, WHO'S THIS GUY THINK HE IS? HE'S LIKE TALKING TO ME LIKE WE'RE LIKE BEST FRIENDS, YOU KNOW?
AND SO WE START GOING BACK AND FORTH. AND THIS WAS REALLY BOLD. AND SOME PEOPLE WOULD THINK THIS IS INSANE. BUT ONE OF HIS LIKE SOON AFTER MESSAGES WAS, THIS IS A COLD CALL MARRIAGE PROPOSAL. AND I WAS LIKE, WHAT? I WAS LIKE, WHAT IS THIS GUY DOING?
WHICH WOULD NOT WORK IN EVERY SCENARIO.
OH, MY GOSH. YEAH, DON'T TRY THIS AT HOME, EVERYBODY, BUT HE DID IT. AND I WAS LIKE, THIS GUY IS CRAZY. AND SO I DIDN'T EVEN RESPOND, I LIKE LEFT HIM ON READ, YOU KNOW.
YOU LEFT HIM ON READ?
OH, STRAIGHT UP, LEFT HIM ON READ. I WAS LIKE, THIS IS WEIRD.
AND YOU THOUGHT HE WOULD GIVE UP AT THIS POINT.
YEAH, YEAH, HE DIDN'T. HE'S RESILIENT. AND SO A FEW DAYS LATER, HE REACHES OUT AGAIN AND HE SAYS, HEY, WOULD LOVE TO TALK TO YOU SOMETIME. WOULD LOVE TO JUMP ON A PHONE CALL. AND SO I'M LIKE, ALL RIGHT, I'LL JUMP ON A PHONE CALL WITH HIM. BUT LIKE, LIKE I'M GONNA FIND OUT EITHER THAT HE'S REALLY WEIRD. AND THIS NEEDS TO STOP IMMEDIATELY. I NEED TO BLOCK HIM AND PROBABLY GET SECURITY.
BECAUSE YOU PROBABLY HAD SOME WEIRD EXPERIENCES IN THE PAST.
OH, YEAH. OH, YEAH. WE'VE HAD SOME STUFF, YOU KNOW, OR THIS IS GOD, AND HE'S JUST A REALLY BOLD GUY THAT'S REALLY RARE IN MY GENERATION. I CAN'T REALLY DECIDE WHICH ONE IT IS. AND SO I'LL JUST TALK TO HIM. SO WE GET ON THE PHONE, WE HAVE A GREAT TIME ON THE PHONE CALL. JUST IMMEDIATELY CONNECT, HAVE A BLAST ON THE CALL. AND THEN WE JUST KIND OF LIKE KEPT TALKING AFTER THAT AND WE BOTH ENDED UP, WE BOTH, WE STARTED DATING, WELL, WE TOLD --
WAS HE IN CANADA?
YEAH, HE WAS IN CANADA.
DID Y'ALL START DATING LONG-DISTANCE?
YEAH.
OH, MY GOSH.
YEAH, OUR FIRST DATE, QUOTE, UNQUOTE. I WAS ON A TRIP, AND HE WAS LIKE, I WAS ON MY WAY HOME, AND IT WAS LEADING INTO MY BIRTHDAY, AND HE WAS LIKE, HEY, I KNOW THIS IS, YOU KNOW, KIND OF WEIRD, MAYBE, BUT WE'RE THOUSANDS OF MILES AWAY FROM EACH OTHER. I DON'T KNOW IF IT'S THOUSANDS, BUT HE WAS LIKE, WE'RE THOUSANDS OF MILES AWAY FROM EACH OTHER, AND I WANT TO TAKE YOU ON A DATE. WOULD YOU LET ME TAKE YOU ON A FACETIME DATE WHEN YOU GET HOME?
AND I WAS JUST LIKE, THIS IS SO INTERESTING THAT HE'S ASKING LIKE THIS. BUT IT WAS JUST LIKE, IT WAS SWEET AND BOLD, YOU KNOW? AND I GET HOME AND HE HAD MY FAVORITE WHERE I WAS DOING THE PHONE CALL, HE HAD MY FAVORITE COFFEE DELIVERED TO ME TWO MINUTES BEFORE THE FACETIME DATE.
WELL, THAT'S SMOOTH.
AND I WAS JUST LIKE, WHO IS THIS GUY? HE'S IN CANADA AND HE GOT MY COFFEE DELIVERED TO ME ON TIME. LIKE, WHAT IN THE WORLD? THIS GUY IS ON A DIFFERENT LEVEL. YOU KNOW, AND, JUST REALLY LIKE, HE WAS JUST PULLING OUT ALL THE STOPS, YOU KNOW, AND --
AS IT SHOULD BE.
YEAH, YEAH, JUST THE PURSUIT.
IT DOES NOT HAPPEN.
IT DOESN'T.
NOT IN TODAY'S AGE.
BUT IT WAS THIS BEAUTIFUL PURSUIT OF, LIKE, THIS IS WHAT I WANT, AND I'M GOING TO GO AFTER IT WITH EVERYTHING I GOT. AND I JUST WISH WE NEED MORE MEN LIKE THAT IN OUR GENERATION, YOU KNOW? AND SO IT WAS AMAZING. AND THEN WE STARTED DATING. WE KIND OF KEPT IT A LITTLE UNDER WRAPS. WE ONLY TOLD CLOSE FRIENDS, FAMILY, AND OUR PASTORS AND INVITED EVERYBODY TO PRAY WITH US, AND OUR PASTOR, PASTOR LANDON, WAS ACTUALLY LIKE, HEY, YOU KNOW, WHY DON'T YOU JUST KEEP IT CLOSE?
BECAUSE HE'S LIKE, I WANT YOU TO BE ABLE TO DATE AND JUST BE A GIRL AND NOT HAVE TO BE PASTOR JASMINE, YOU CAN JUST.
LIKE UNDER THE RADAR.
YEAH, YOU CAN JUST ENJOY THE DATING PROCESS. HE'S LIKE, DON'T GO ON ANY DATES IN FORT WORTH. JUST GO OUTSIDE THE CITY SO YOU GUYS CAN ENJOY A PROCESS AND REALLY GET TO SEE IF THIS IS WHAT GOD WANTS. AND I THINK IT WAS THE BEST ADVICE EVER THAT ANYBODY COULD HAVE GIVEN US, AND SO WE DID THAT. AND THEN WE BOTH, WE BOTH DID 40-DAY FAST AND SOUGHT THE LORD AND PRAYED. AND, WE DIDN'T WANT TO WASTE EACH OTHER'S TIME. SO WE SOUGHT THE LORD AND WAS LIKE, GOD, IS THIS WHAT YOU WANT?
WE DON'T WANT TO JUST BE DATING FOR MONTHS AND MONTHS. AND THIS ISN'T WHAT YOU HAVE FOR US. YEAH. AND SO WE DID THAT AND WE'RE JUST COMMITTED TO SEPARATELY HEARING AND THEN OBEYING WHATEVER WE HEARD. AND WE BOTH HEARD THAT WE WERE SUPPOSED TO BE TOGETHER AND THAT WE WERE EACH OTHER'S SPOUSE. AND HE SPOKE SO CLEARLY. AND HE ALSO SPOKE TO THE PEOPLE IN OUR LIFE THAT THAT WAS WHAT HE WAS DOING. AND THEY WERE WISE.
THEY DIDN'T TELL US THAT BEFORE WE HEARD, THEY ALLOWED IT TO BE CONFIRMATION AFTER WE HEARD, WHICH VERY, VERY IMPORTANT DETAIL TO THAT STORY. OTHERWISE IT GETS WEIRD AND IT'S MANIPULATION. BUT THAT'S NEITHER HERE NOR THERE, AND SO, WE ALL HEARD THE LORD TOGETHER, AND THEN WE WERE FALLING IN LOVE. AND SO IT WAS JUST BEAUTIFUL. AND SO BY MARCH 2022, WE WERE MARRIED.
IT'S LIKE, LOOK WHAT THE LORD CAN DO.
OH, MY GOODNESS, SUCH A BEAUTIFUL REDEMPTION STORY.
I LOVE THAT.
AND I'LL JUST SAY THIS: I REMEMBER BEING NERVOUS ABOUT HIM HEARING THAT PART OF MY TESTIMONY THAT I JUST SHARED AND THINKING, WHAT IS HE GOING TO THINK? WHOEVER MY HUSBAND IS, WHAT ARE THEY GOING TO THINK ABOUT THIS PART? YOU KNOW, THERE'S JUST, THE SHAME THAT THE ENEMY WOULD ATTACK SOMETIMES OF, LIKE THEY'RE NOT GOING TO WANT YOU, LIKE, LOOK AT WHAT YOU'VE WALKED THROUGH.
DA DA DA DA, AND THE RIGHT MAN, WHICH FOR ME, MY HUSBAND WAS THE RIGHT MAN, RESPONDED LIKE JESUS WOULD HAVE, LIKE I COULD IMAGINE THE EYES OF JESUS, THE MERCY OF JESUS, RECOGNIZING THAT THAT'S NOT WHO I AM ANYMORE AND THAT THAT'S A PART OF MY STORY. THAT'S SOMETHING THAT JESUS HAS DONE IN MY LIFE. AND SO NOW I GET TO TRAVEL AND SHARE THIS TESTIMONY, AND HE CELEBRATES ME ALONG THE WAY. AND JUST LIKE IT'S JUST SO WILD TO SEE WHAT GOD HAS DONE WITH IT.
IT'S SUCH A BEAUTIFUL EXAMPLE OF WHAT GOD CAN DO WHEN YOU GIVE YOURSELF TO HIM AND YOU SAY YES AND YOU'RE OBEDIENT AND YOU WALK IT OUT, YOU KNOW, BEFORE WE CLOSE OUT, I DO WANT TO TALK ABOUT AXL. YOU KNOW, BECAUSE I THINK IT'S VERY IMPORTANT. WE'LL JUST TOUCH ON IT QUICKLY. BUT WHAT IS AXL?
YEAH, THE VISION OF AXL IS WE EXIST TO EQUIP --
YOU STARTED IT.
YEAH, I STARTED IT. YEAH. WE WANT TO EQUIP AND EMPOWER SONS AND DAUGHTERS TO ADVANCE THE KINGDOM THROUGH THEIR CREATIVE EXPRESSION. SO ESSENTIALLY, AS CHRISTIANS, WE SEE TONS OF WORSHIP SCHOOLS AND MINISTRY SCHOOLS AND BIBLE COLLEGES. AND REALLY WHAT WE'VE DONE IS WE'VE TRAINED PEOPLE UP FOR MINISTRY. BUT WE HAVEN'T REALLY DONE A GREAT JOB OF TRAINING UP CHRISTIANS TO IMPACT THE WORLD IN ARTS AND ENTERTAINMENT AND IN MEDIA. WE HAVEN'T REALLY DONE A GREAT JOB OF THAT.
SO THERE'S PEOPLE THAT ARE CALLED INTO THOSE SPACES THAT MAYBE FEEL LIKE THEY'RE LESS THAN BECAUSE THEY'RE NOT ON A STAGE HOLDING A MIC, PREACHING, OR LEADING WORSHIP, BUT I BELIEVE THAT GOD HAS CALLED PEOPLE TO BE ACTRESSES AND ACTORS AND PHOTOGRAPHERS AND FILMMAKERS, AND THAT THERE SHOULD BE KINGDOM PEOPLE ON THE GRAMMYS BRINGING THE KINGDOM THROUGH THEIR PERFORMANCE AND THROUGH THEIR SONGS.
AND I DON'T BELIEVE THAT EVERY SONGWRITER AND EVERY VOCALIST IS SUPPOSED TO BE ON A STAGE LEADING WORSHIP ON SUNDAY. BUT WE HAVEN'T EQUIPPED PEOPLE TO DO THAT. AND SO AXL'S OUR DESIRE WITH AXL IS TO EQUIP PEOPLE AND EMPOWER THEM TO DO JUST THAT THROUGH WHATEVER THE CREATIVE EXPRESSION THAT GOD HAS GIVEN THEM IS. AND SO WE'RE HAVING A BLAST DOING IT. I'M SUPER PASSIONATE ABOUT IT. I'M GOING TO STOP TALKING NOW BECAUSE I CAN JUST GO ON ABOUT IT.
WELL, WE NEED TO HAVE YOU BACK. WE NEED TO TALK ABOUT THIS WORD BECAUSE I WANT TO DIVE INTO IT, TOO. BUT I JUST THINK THAT'S BEAUTIFUL. AND I LOVE YOUR STORY. FOR PEOPLE WHO WANT TO GET CONNECTED TO YOU, WHERE CAN THEY FIND YOU?
YEAH, I'M ON INSTAGRAM, @IAMJASMINEGENIE. OR IF YOU WANT TO GET CONNECTED TO AXL, IT'S @AXLCREATIVECO, SO THOSE ARE THE BEST TWO WAYS. I'M ALSO CONNECTED TO MERCY CULTURE CHURCH, @MERCYCULTUREWORSHIP ON INSTAGRAM. BUT THOSE ARE THE BEST WAYS TO CONNECT, FOR SURE.
AND BEFORE WE GO, CAN YOU JUST SAY A PRAYER FOR THE PEOPLE WHO ARE OUT THERE WHO MAYBE ARE HEARING YOUR TESTIMONY AND THEY'RE STRUGGLING AND THEY'RE LOOKING FOR A BREAKTHROUGH?
YEAH, ABSOLUTELY. WELL, LORD, I JUST THANK YOU FOR, AGAIN, FOR ANY PERSON WHO MAY BE WATCHING OR LISTENING RIGHT NOW WHO HAS THIS STORY, I PRAY THAT YOU WOULD MEET THEM WITH YOUR MERCY IN THE SAME WAY THAT YOU'VE MET ME, YOUR WORD SAYS IN PROVERBS THAT THOSE WHO CONCEAL THEIR TRANSGRESSIONS WILL NOT PROSPER, BUT THE ONES WHO CONFESS AND REPENT OF THEIR SINS, THAT THEY WILL FIND MERCY.
AND SO, LORD, I'M ASKING YOU TO GIVE PEOPLE A SUPERNATURAL GRACE, TO CONFESS AND REPENT, TO TURN AWAY FROM THEIR SIN. I PRAY THAT IN THE SAME WAY THAT YOU GAVE ME A GRACE TO EVEN ASK FOR THE WAY OUT, THAT YOU JUST PUT THAT CRY ON THEIR LIPS, THAT THEY WOULD ASK YOU FOR THE WAY OUT, AND THAT THEY WOULD TAKE IT AS YOU GIVE IT.
FATHER, I JUST THANK YOU FOR SURROUNDING THEM WITH PEOPLE THE WAY YOU SURROUNDED THEM WITH PEOPLE THAT WILL BE ABLE TO WALK THEM THROUGH THE PROCESS WITH TRUTH AND IN LOVE WITH YOUR MERCY, AND SO, LORD, WE THANK YOU FOR SUPERNATURAL ENCOUNTERS. I PRAY FOR DREAMS, VISIONS, ENCOUNTERS IN THE NIGHT. ENCOUNTERS IN THE DAY WITH YOU, WHERE YOU DO THINGS INSIDE OF PEOPLE THAT ONLY YOU COULD DO, LORD, THAT YOU WOULD DRAW PEOPLE UNTO YOURSELF. AND SO, LORD, WE LOVE YOU AND WE THANK YOU FOR YOUR FREEDOM.
WE THANK YOU THAT FREEDOM, DELIVERANCE, HEALING, THAT IT'S ALL EASY IN YOUR PRESENCE. WE LOVE YOU, LORD. IN JESUS' NAME, AMEN.
AMEN. JASMINE, THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR EVERYTHING. SERIOUSLY. AND COME BACK, OKAY?
YEAH, OKAY.
WELL, YOU HEARD IT HERE FIRST. LIVE YOUR LIFE IN THE LIGHT. THERE'S NO CONDEMNATION, AS IT SAYS IN ROMANS EIGHT. FOR THOSE WHO ARE IN CHRIST JESUS, REPENTANCE IS NOT A BAD THING. IT'S A GOOD THING. THERE'S NO SHAME. YOU KNOW, TODAY IS THE DAY TO TURN BACK TO HIM AND KNOW THAT HE, JUST LIKE HE DID FOR JASMINE, CAN RESTORE AND GIVE YOU BEAUTY FOR ASHES. THANKS SO MUCH FOR WATCHING. WE'LL SEE YOU NEXT TIME ON THE REBECCA WEISS PODCAST .