WHY ARE YOU LAUGHING?
IT'S FUNNY WATCHING YOU TRYING TO EXPLAIN THAT. HOLD ON TO EACH MOMENT. THE DAYS SOMETIMES ARE LONG. THE YEARS ARE VERY FAST.
THIS IS SO NOT WHAT YOU WOULD WANT ME TO SAY.
PERFECT. THIS IS PERFECT, FOLKS. THIS IS MARRIAGE 101 RIGHT HERE. HOW WERE WE GOING TO SAY THE SAME ONE? THAT'S CRAZY.
IT REALLY CAME UP IN MY HEAD.
ME TOO. YOU KNOW WHAT? AND THERE'S BEEN SO MANY TIMES, NOT SO MANY, BUT PROBABLY A DOZEN THAT I HAVE GONE TO GOD IN FRUSTRATION OVER WHATEVER...
NOT ME.
YOU, MAYBE SOMEBODY HERE, COULD BE YOU, YOU.
WOULD I EVEN ANSWER IT? PROBABLY NOT.
PROBABLY NOT. HELLO. WELCOME BACK TO THE REBECCA WEISS PODCAST . I'M YOUR HOST, JONATHAN WEISS. I DON'T KNOW.
THANKS FOR HAVING ME ON.
YEAH. IT'S GOOD TO HAVE YOU. SO TELL US, HOW DID YOU GET STARTED?
YOU KNOW, IT ALL STARTED WHEN I WAS JUST A BABY.
[ LAUGHTER ]
GUYS, WELCOME BACK TO THE REBECCA WEISS PODCAST. I'M JOINED ONCE AGAIN WITH MY FAVORITE PERSON IN THE WHOLE WORLD, JONATHAN.
THANK YOU VERY MUCH, GOOD TO BE HERE.
JONATHAN, MY HUSBAND AND I JUST TALKED OVER YOU. I'M SORRY. I WAS SO EXCITED. YOU SAID? WHAT DID YOU SAY?
I JUST SAID THANK YOU FOR HAVING ME.
HEY, THANKS FOR BEING HERE.
WHAT'S THE SPECIAL OCCASION?
WHY ARE WE HERE TODAY?
I DON'T KNOW.
WE'RE HERE BECAUSE IT'S?
WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING FOR?
WHERE'S YOUR PILLOW?
IT'S TUCKED BEHIND MY BACK.
CAN WE --
YOU CAN SHOW THIS CARD.
OH, IT'S --
[ LAUGHTER ]
THAT'S ALL THE PEOPLE WANT IS MORE SINGING.
[ LAUGHTER ]
OH, IT'S VALENTINE'S DAY, FOLKS. AND I WILL STOP SINGING. UM, BECAUSE Y'ALL DON'T WANT TO HEAR THAT. BUT I GUESS YOU WANT TO HEAR US. SO HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY, BABE...
YOU TOO, LOVE.
WE'RE NOT -- ARE WE BIG VALENTINE'S DAY PEOPLE?
WE NEVER HAVE BEEN. MAYBE THIS WILL BE OUR YEAR.
MAYBE THIS IS OUR YEAR. COMMENT DOWN BELOW. WHAT DO YOU LIKE TO DO FOR VALENTINE'S DAY? AND WHAT IS A GOOD GIFT TO GET SOMEONE FOR VALENTINE'S DAY. BECAUSE WE DON'T EVEN REALLY DO GIFTS.
JEWELRY WOULD BE A GOOD GIFT NOT THAT I'VE GOTTEN YOU ANYTHING. BUT I HAVE A LOT OF TIME TO PREPARE AND GET YOU SOMETHING.
WELL, YOU ARE ALWAYS SO SWEET AND CONSIDERATE WHEN IT COMES TO GIFTS. SO I'M THANKFUL FOR THAT. WELL, IN FRONT OF US, WE HAVE SOME QUESTIONS.
YES.
VIEWERS WROTE IN WITH THEIR QUESTIONS. AND SO WE ARE GOING TO BE ANSWERING YOUR QUESTIONS TODAY. SO YOU WANT TO GO? ME? ROCK, PAPER, SCISSORS.
NO. I'LL GO.
OKAY.
IT'S THE OPPOSITE OF WHAT YOU WANTED TO DO WITH STARTING LIGHT.
LET'S GO DEEP.
OKAY, COOL. HOW DID YOU PREPARE TO BE PARENTS?
WOW.
AND HAVE YOU ALWAYS WANTED KIDS?
WOW, DEEP END.
YEAH.
JUST DIVING IN. HOW DID WE PREPARE TO BE PARENTS? WELL, UM, PARENTHOOD.
DEEP, DEEP, LONG PAUSE. PARENTING CATCHES YOU BY SURPRISE. IT'S NOT, I MEAN, I GUESS SOME PEOPLE ARE LIKE, OH, WE'RE GOING TO HAVE KIDS AND IN AUGUST OF THE THIRD YEAR AFTER WE'RE MARRIED OR WHATEVER, BUT THAT'S NOT HOW IT WORKED FOR US.
I WOULD SAY NO ONE IS EVER PREPARED TO BE A PARENT. YOU'RE NEVER READY. THERE'S NEVER A GOOD TIME. YOU JUST -- I SAY JUST GO FOR IT, YOU KNOW. I DON'T KNOW, SORRY, I FEEL BAD ABOUT THIS ANSWER.
NO, I THINK THAT'S TRUE THAT YOU'RE NOT REALLY PREPARED AND HOW WE HANDLED IT WAS WE TALKED ABOUT HAVING KIDS WHEN WE WERE DATING.
YES.
SO WE KNEW THAT WE BOTH WANTED TO HAVE KIDS. AND THEN WHILE WE WERE DATING, WE SAID, LIKE WE WERE DATING LONG DISTANCE WHEN WE'RE GETTING KNOW EACH OTHER. AND SO WE SAID ALL RIGHT ON THE COUNT OF THREE SAY HOW MANY KIDS YOU WANT. AND THEN 1,2,3, THREE. WE BOTH SAID THREE. SO, THAT'S HOW WE KNEW WE WANTED TO HAVE THREE KIDS. VERY PRACTICAL. AND THEN WHEN WE GOT MARRIED, YOU KNOW, WHAT HAPPENS AFTER MARRIAGE? YOU START HAVING CHILDREN.
BABIES.
YEAH, AND ONCE YOU HAVE KIDS, IT'S JUST A LEARNING CURVE THAT YOU HAVE TO PARTNER ON IT TOGETHER BECAUSE IT'S NOT LIKE YOU'VE HAD KIDS PREVIOUSLY.
EXACTLY. YOU JUST NEED TO BE, I THINK FOR ME, I JUST SAID, LORD, I WANT TO DO THIS RIGHT. AND I REMEMBER GETTING ON MY KNEES WHEN WE HAD JUST ASHY. AND I SAID, GOD, I NEED YOU TO SHOW ME HOW TO BE A GOOD WIFE AND A GOOD MOTHER. BECAUSE I CAN'T DO IT WITHOUT HIM. AND I ASKED HIM FOR HIS HELP. AND I THINK THROUGH THE YEARS AND JUST BEING COMMITTED TO LEARNING AND GROWING, YOU BECOME MORE AND MORE ABLE OF PARENTING. AND I THINK WE REALLY SOUGHT GOD'S HEART ON A BIBLICAL FORM OF PARENTING.
AND I THINK ONE OF THE BEST THINGS I EVER LEARNED ABOUT PARENTING AND I REMEMBER I WAS PRAYING. WE JUST HAD ASHER AND I WAS ASKING GOD ABOUT HOW TO PARENT ASHER. AND I CAME ACROSS A, I THINK HE'S A PSYCHOLOGIST. HIS NAME'S GABOR MATE. BUT HE HAS A BOOK CALLED HOLD ON TO YOUR KIDS. AND THE WHOLE PREMISE OF THE BOOK IS OUR ABILITY TO SPEAK INTO OUR CHILDREN'S LIFE IS DIRECTLY CONNECTED TO THE LEVEL OF RELATIONSHIP THAT WE HAVE WITH HIM.
AND SO IT TALKS ABOUT DEVELOPING A STRONG FOUNDATION OF TRUST AND RELATIONSHIP WITH YOUR CHILDREN BECAUSE THE CLOSER THAT Y'ALL ARE, THE MORE YOU HAVE THE ABILITY TO SPEAK INTO THEIR LIVES. AND IT JUST MADE ME THINK OF FATHER GOD. THE MORE THAT WE TRUST HIM, THE MORE THAT WE OPEN OURSELVES UP TO HEAR FROM HIM.
GREAT ANSWER.
VERY DEEP.
WHAT'S YOUR QUESTION?
MINE'S LIGHTHEARTED AND FUN. IF YOU COULD RELIVE ANY MOMENT FROM YOUR RELATIONSHIP, WHAT WOULD IT BE AND WHY?
ITALY 2019.
YES, THERE WE GO.
20 --
'19
'19.
'19?
I DON'T KNOW.
YES. BECAUSE IT WAS DECEMBER. ITALY 2019. WE WENT FOR TWO WEEKS. IT WAS SUPER FUN.
WAS IT TWO WEEKS?
YEAH. WELL, WE WENT FOR A CONFERENCE OUT THERE.
RIGHT.
MUCHAN WHICH IS A MESSIANIC CONFERENCE OF BELIEVERS AND SO IT WAS FUN. BUT IT WAS ALSO -- WHY ARE YOU LAUGHING AT ME?
IT'S JUST FUNNY WATCHING YOU TRY TO EXPLAIN THAT. NO, THAT WAS SO FUN. WE DID ROME. WE DID VENICE, THE TUSCANY. WHAT'S IT CALLED? WHERE WERE WE?
YEAH, TUSCANY.
WE WERE THERE.
YEAH. AND VENICE AND ROME. THOSE ARE THE THREE PLACES WE'VE BEEN.
IT'S SO COOL.
YEAH.
AND BEAUTIFUL.
THAT WAS --
AND INTERESTING.
THAT WAS ONE OF THE BEST TRIPS I'VE EVER BEEN ON. ONE OF THE FUNNEST TIMES IN OUR MARRIAGE BECAUSE WE WERE NEWLY MARRIED.
THAT'S SAD, IT'S SO LONG AGO.
WELL, WE STARTED HAVING KIDS RIGHT AFTER THAT.
WE'VE HAD A LOT OF GOOD TRIPS, THOUGH.
NO, WE HAVE, BUT YOU KNOW FOR PEOPLE WHO DON'T HAVE KIDS YET, JUST ENJOY IT. AND THEN ALSO KNOW THAT, BUT YET AT THE SAME TIME KIDS ARE LIKE ONE OF THE BEST THINGS WE'VE EVER DONE. SO, YOU KNOW, YOU JUST, YOU ENJOY EACH SEASON FOR WHAT IT IS AND WHAT IS SOMETHING GOD HAS SHOWN YOU MULTIPLE TIMES ABOUT OUR KIDS?
JUST HOW QUICKLY IT'S GOING TO GO. AND ONE OF THE THINGS THAT HE CONSTANTLY REMINDS ME OF JUST LIKE HOLD ON TO EACH MOMENT AND BE INTENTIONAL WITH THE MOMENTS AS THEY'RE HAPPENING. EVEN THOUGH THE DAYS SOMETIMES ARE LONG, THE YEARS ARE VERY FAST.
YEAH.
AND EVEN JUST ASHER BECAUSE HE'S ALREADY FIVE YEARS OLD, YOU KNOW. WE'VE SEEN THAT GO BY SO FAST. AND SO WE HAVE BOAZ. WE HAVE ELIANA. ELIANA IS NOW ABOUT TO BE EIGHT MONTHS OLD, BOAZ IS ABOUT TO BE TWO AND A HALF ALMOST THREE.
SO FAST.
SO WE'RE JUST TRYING TO REALLY INVEST IN THEM AS MUCH AS WE CAN, WITH AS MUCH TIME MEMORIES THAT WE CAN. BECAUSE THESE FIRST 12 YEARS ARE SO FORMIDABLE YEARS.
THEY ARE AND I THINK WITH ASHER, HE'S REALLY SHOWN ME HOW FAST IT CAN GO. BECAUSE HE'S NO LONGER A BABY. HE'S FIVE.
FAR FROM IT.
IT'S CRAZY. WE BOTH HAVE BEEN SHOCKED AT HOW QUICKLY HE'S GROWN UP AND NOW HIS SIBLINGS ARE GOING EVEN FASTER.
I KNOW THAT'S TRUE.
AND I WILL SAY WITH EACH KID, YOU DO FEEL MORE, FOR ME, I FEEL MORE CAPABLE AS A PARENT. BUT, WAIT, DID WE ANSWER THE QUESTION? ITALY 2019.
YEAH, WE ANSWERED IT.
BEST TRIP. SECOND BEST TRIP, HAWAII.
I WAS GONNA SAY MAUI, YEAH.
YEAH.
THIRD BEST TRIP, TENNESSEE.
OH, YES. I WANT TO GO BACK.
BUT ALSO LIKE WHEN YOU JUST THINK ABOUT JUST OTHER SIMPLER TIMES. NOT TRAVELING, TIMES THAT WE REALLY ENJOYED. OH, ISRAEL.
THAT'S TRAVELING.
OH, SORRY. I JUST THOUGHT OF ONE MORE TRAVELING ONE. BUT I WAS GOING TO SAY ISRAEL.
WHICH ISRAEL TRIP ARE YOU REFERRING TO?
THE ONE THAT WE WENT ON JUST THE TWO OF US.
THE STRUGGLE BUS TRIP, BUT IT WAS SO FUN.
IT WASN'T A STRUGGLE. IT WAS JUST VERY INTENSE.
GETTING THERE WAS A STRUGGLE.
OH, YEAH.
WE WERE STUCK IN THE AIRPORT IN FRANCE AND EVERYTHING WAS SHUT DOWN.
THE DAYSTAR PRODUCTION STAFF SENT ME WITH SO MANY THINGS TO CARRY. I HAD LIKE AN EASEL WITH LIKE A BIN FULL OF PAMPHLETS.
AND WE FLEW EL AL AND EL AL WAS LIKE WHAT IS ALL THIS STUFF? AND WE WERE LIKE IT'S BROCHURES.
THIS IS A ROCKET LAUNCHER, SIR.
[ LAUGHTER ]
WE'RE LIKE IT'S JUST BROCHURES. IT'S JUST LIKE MATERIALS. BECAUSE WE WERE GOING TO A CONFERENCE THERE.
YEAH.
BUT WE MADE IT. WE HAD SO MUCH FUN.
WE HAD SUCH A GREAT TIME TOGETHER.
I FEEL LIKE BECAUSE WE LOVE EACH OTHER SO MUCH AND WE'RE BEST FRIENDS THAT NO MATTER WHAT WE DO --
QUITE THE LABEL.
THAT WE --
DO I GET A BRACELET WITH THAT?
MAYBE THAT'S YOUR VALENTINE GIFT, BUT WE ALWAYS MAKE THE MOST OF THE SITUATIONS WE'RE IN. WE CAN ALWAYS HAVE FUN JUST THE TWO THOSE OF US.
THAT IS TRUE. HOW TO KNOW THE ONE? I DON'T KNOW. I'M SURE THIS QUESTION WAS SUPPOSED TO BE, HOW DO YOU KNOW --
SOMEONE'S THE ONE?
YES.
OKAY, UM, HOW DO I KNOW SOMEONE'S THE ONE?
SOMEONE'S THE ONE. SHE'LL FIGURE IT OUT.
IT'S SUCH A HIGHLY TALKED ABOUT THING. AND, YOU KNOW, SOMETIMES I'M LIKE, LORD, GIVE ME THE RIGHT ANSWER.
WHAT WE DID WAS YOU HAD JUST GOTTEN ON YOUR KNEES AND PRAYED, GOD, SEND ME AN ASSERTIVE MAN. REBECCA HAD JUST PRAYED TO GOD ASKING FOR SOMETHING. I HAPPENED TO MESSAGE HER THAT DAY ON SOCIAL MEDIA. AND FROM THE VERY BEGINNING, THERE WAS CHEMISTRY. SO YOU START BY KNOWING IF THERE'S CHEMISTRY WITH THAT PERSON. I WOULD SAY THAT'S LIKE YOUR INITIAL FOUNDATION. THERE'S NOT CHEMISTRY YOU'RE GOING TO MAKE SOMETHING NOT, IT'S GOING TO BE HARD BECAUSE LIFE'S HARD.
MARRIAGE IS HARD, HAVING KIDS, ALL THAT'S HARD. SO YOU HAVE TO BUILD THE FOUNDATION FIRST.
YEAH.
SO TO KNOW AND THEN AND THEN AS WE DATED ONE ANOTHER WE HAD --
BUT DEFINE CHEMISTRY BECAUSE I THINK YOU'RE MEANING IT IN A DIFFERENT WAY THAN PEOPLE PERCEIVE IT.
[ LAUGHTER ]
NO, I'M NOT. EVERYONE'S PERCEIVING IT PERFECTLY.
OKAY. WELL, I THINK WE HAD CHEMISTRY, BUT IT'S MORE THAN JUST CHEMISTRY. WE SHARE THE SAME VALUES.
I WAS WORKING UP TO THAT.
OKAY.
THIS IS PERFECT. THIS IS PERFECT, FOLKS. THIS IS MARRIAGE 101 RIGHT HERE. WHAT WE STARTED WITH WAS ESTABLISHING THAT WE BOTH MADE EACH OTHER LAUGH. WE ENJOYED TALKING TO ANOTHER. AND THEN AS WE GOT DEEPER AND GETTING TO KNOW EACH OTHER, WE STARTED ASKING HARDER QUESTIONS AND VALUES STARTED TO COME UP. HOW YOU WANTED TO RAISE OUR KIDS, WHAT YOU BELIEVED IN, YOU KNOW HOW WHAT KIND OF CHURCH WE WANTED TO GO TO.
ALL OF THESE THINGS THAT ARE LIKE FOUNDATIONAL TO, IN MY OPINION, FOUNDATIONAL TO A RELATIONSHIP, WE ASKED EARLY ON IN, IN THE DATING PROCESS, BECAUSE WE WERE DATING LONG DISTANCE. IT WAS EASY TO TALK THROUGH A LOT OF THAT STUFF. SO I FOUND OUT OR I FOUND OUT, I FIGURED OUT THAT YOU WERE THE ONE WHILE WE WERE DATING LONG DISTANCE. YOU KNOW, I REMEMBER WHERE I WAS IN THE MOMENT, WHEN I HAD THE THOUGHT, AND I FELT IN MY SPIRIT, I WAS LIKE, OH, SHE'S THE ONE, LIKE I CANNOT -- I KNOW THAT MEMORY.
I KNOW THAT SPOT, EVERYTHING. SO, UM, MAYBE IT'S DIFFERENT FOR OTHER PEOPLE, BUT I KNEW WHEN IT HAPPENED FOR ME.
FOR ME, I WOULD SAY THAT I FROM THE MOMENT I SURRENDERED MY LIFE TO JESUS, WHEN I WAS 19, ONE OF THINGS HE TOLD ME WAS TO BE REALLY INTENTIONAL ABOUT GUARDING MY HEART. AND SO I WAS INTENTIONAL ABOUT JUST PURSUING MY RELATIONSHIP WITH HIM AND I SUBMITTED MY LIFE TO HIM. AND SO THAT ALSO CAME DOWN TO WHO I WAS GOING TO MARRY, BUT I THINK THERE'S TWO EXTREMES.
I THINK PEOPLE ARE TOO LIKE LEGALISTIC ABOUT IT AND THEY'RE LIKE WHOEVER GOD TELLS ME TO MARRY AND I DON'T EVEN HAVE TO BE ATTRACTED TO THEM. AND THEN THERE'S THE OTHER EXTREME OF IT WHICH IS JUST LIKE, WELL, WHOEVER I WANT. AND IT'S ONE OF THOSE THINGS WHERE GOD I DO BELIEVE HAS A BEST PLAN FOR OUR LIVES, BUT ONE OF THE THINGS I FELT LIKE THE LORD SHOWED ME IS THAT WE MAKE THE CHOICE LIKE WE, WE SUBMIT OUR CHOICE TO HIM.
BUT WE MAKE THE CHOICE MEANING LIKE WE HAVE TO TAKE OWNERSHIP FOR OUR DECISION BECAUSE MARRIAGE IS A CHOICE. AND EVERY SINGLE DAY, YOU'RE LIKE I CHOSE THIS PERSON AND I'M GOING TO CONTINUE TO CHOOSE THIS PERSON EVERY SINGLE DAY. AND ONE OF THINGS HE SHOWED ME ON OUR WEDDING DAY IS AND IT SAYS IN EPHESIANS THAT GOD CHOSE US IN CHRIST BEFORE THE FOUNDATION OF THE WORLD AND HE TOLD ME HE'S LIKE JUST AS YOU ARE CHOOSING JONATHAN TODAY, I CHOSE YOU.
AND SO IT WAS LIKE THIS POWERFUL LIKE REVELATION THAT HE GAVE ME. BUT, YOU KNOW, I JUST I REMEMBER I ASKED GOD, BECAUSE I WAS AFRAID BECAUSE RELATIONSHIPS ARE SCARY, MARRIAGE IS SCARY. IT'S A BIG THING AND YOU'RE --
I WASN'T SCARED.
YOU'RE AMAZING. WE'RE DIFFERENT. I WAS SCARED. UM, AND I REMEMBER KIND OF GIVING GOD LIKE AN ULTIMATUM AND I WAS LIKE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS GUY IS IT OR NOT BECAUSE I REALLY --
WHAT STAGE IN THE DATING PROCESS WAS THIS ULTIMATUM?
LIKE EARLIER ON, AND I REMEMBER I JUST SAID I REALLY I HAD FEELINGS FOR YOU, THOUGH, AND I REMEMBER ASKING GOD AND I REMEMBER HE TOLD ME, REBECCA, I'VE BEEN GUIDING YOU THIS WHOLE TIME. AND SO IF YOU'RE REALLY PURSUING THE LORD AND PUTTING HIM FIRST AND SAYING, GOD, I WANT WHAT YOU WANT, HE IS GOING TO LEAD YOU AND HE'S GOING TO GUIDE YOU AND HE'S GOING TO SHOW YOU.
THAT'S THE THING THAT I WAS GOING TO SAY IS JUST I HAD A COUPLE OF CLOSER OR SERIOUS RELATIONSHIPS PRIOR TO YOU THAT I THOUGHT WERE LIKE TRENDING IN THAT DIRECTION OF MARRIAGE. BUT BECAUSE I WAS MAKING THE LORD MY PRIORITY AND LISTENING TO HIM AND FOLLOWING MY PEACE AND MY RELATIONSHIP WITH THE HOLY SPIRIT, I KNEW WHEN THOSE WERE NOT GOING TO BE THE PEOPLE AND SO --
EXACTLY.
IT'S SOMETIMES IT CAN BE A TOUGHER DECISION BECAUSE YOU HAVE THE VALUES PART OR THE CHEMISTRY PART, BUT YOU REALLY DO HAVE TO HEAR FROM THE LORD.
LIKE MAYBE THERE'S NOT AN ALIGNMENT IN CALLING AND IT'S SO, IT'S LIKE IF YOU GET TOGETHER, YOU'RE GOING TO BE WORKING AGAINST ONE ANOTHER AND SO THAT'S ANOTHER THING WAS WE FEEL, WE HAVE AN ALIGNMENT EVEN IN OUR CALLING THAT WE FEEL LIKE GOD HAS CALLED US TO DO. AND I THINK I JUST HAVE TO -- THERE'S LIKE SO MANY DIRECTIONS I WANT TO GO.
BUT ONE OF THE THINGS I ACTUALLY WANT TO COMMEND YOU ON AND I FEEL, I KIND OF WANT YOU TO SPEAK TO IS ONE OF THINGS I LOVED ABOUT YOU IS YOU WERE SO INTENTIONAL ABOUT I AM GOING TO PURSUE TO GET MARRIED. AND I THINK SO MANY GUYS JUST LIKE DATE, DATE, DATE, DATE. AND SO CAN YOU SPEAK TO THAT LIKE WHAT, HOW YOU DID THAT, WHAT WAS YOUR THOUGHT PROCESS AND STUFF?
WELL, IT STARTED OFF PROBABLY A LITTLE IMMATURE. BECAUSE I REMEMBER WHEN I CAME BACK TO THE LORD, I WAS LIKE 22.
YEAH, YOU WERE 22.
AND I REMEMBER EXACTLY WHERE I WAS AND WHEN I STARTED MY LIFE WITH THE LORD. DO YOU KNOW THIS STORY?
I DON'T THINK SO.
AND I HAD JUST HAD THIS LIKE MOMENT OF SURRENDERING TO JESUS AND LIKE GIVING HIM MY LIFE FOR THE FIRST TIME AS AN ADULT. BECAUSE I HAD AN ENCOUNTER WHEN I WAS A KID AND YOU KNOW WALKED AWAY FROM THE LORD. BUT IN THAT MOMENT, AFTER LIKE THAT MOMENT HAD PASSED, UM, I SAW LIKE THESE GIRLS WALKING BY IN THE CHURCH AND I WAS LIKE, OKAY, GOD, NOW THAT I'VE SURROUNDED MY LIFE TO YOU, WHO AM I GOING TO MARRY?
YEAH.
LITERALLY, WAS LIKE THE CONVERSATION THAT I STARTED TO HAVE. AND SO I REMEMBER HE CLEARLY SAID, IT WAS ONLY WHEN, UM, OR WHEN YOU'RE FULLY SURRENDERED TO ME, I'LL SHOW YOU THE ONE I HAVE FOR YOU.
THAT'S GOOD.
WHICH FOR ME WAS LIKE AN INTERESTING CHALLENGE THAT HE BEGAN TO START LIKE, UH, A RELATIONSHIP WITH THE LORD THAT I CULTIVATED OVER YEARS. AND, UM, EVERY TIME I WAS DATING SOMEBODY OR PURSUING SOMEBODY, I WAS SURRENDERING THAT AND POSITIONING THAT BEFORE HIM AND MAKING SURE THAT I WAS IN ACTIVE DIALOGUE WITH GOD THROUGHOUT IT. SO I DON'T REMEMBER WHAT YOUR QUESTION WAS. OH, YEAH.
OH, JUST THAT YOU DIDN'T DATE TO DATE.
NO, I WAS VERY SERIOUS FROM THAT MOMENT FROM WHEN I WAS 22 ON. I NEVER REALLY -- I MEAN, I DATED, BUT IT WAS NOT LIKE CASUAL ANYMORE. YOU KNOW, IT WAS LIKE I'M ONLY GOING TO BE WITH ONE PERSON FOR MY LIFE. I'M GOING TO HUNT AND FIND THAT PERSON. HUNT IS INTENSE.
AND TOO I THINK FOR ME LIKE IT'S LIKE I WAS GUARDING MY HEART, BUT I HAD LIKE A NORMAL SOCIAL LIFE. YOU KNOW YOU, YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO LIVE YOUR LIFE IN COMMUNITY WHETHER YOU'RE MARRIED, WHETHER YOU'RE SINGLE, WHATEVER. DON'T TELL ME YOU DATED OTHER MEN. NO, I'M NOT SAYING THAT.
NOT ON MY VALENTINE'S DAY EPISODE.
PEOPLE ARE RELIGIOUS WHERE THEY'RE LIKE I'M JUST GONNA WAIT, YOU KNOW, AND IT'S JUST LIKE YOU CAN HAVE A COMMUNITY OF FRIENDS AND LIVE YOUR LIFE. YOU KNOW AND SO I'M JUST TRYING TO TELL PEOPLE LIKE YOU TRUST GOD TO BRING THAT PERSON AND YOU GUARD YOUR HEART. BUT YOU ALSO, IT'S IMPORTANT TO HAVE A COMMUNITY OF FRIENDS AND TO LIVE YOUR LIFE AND NOT JUST TO SIT IN SINGLEHOOD AND WAIT FOR LIFE TO HAPPEN. DOES THAT MAKE SENSE?
UH-HUH.
SO ANYWAYS, LET'S GO BACK TO THE QUESTIONS. OKAY, MY TURN.
OKAY, GOOD.
WHAT'S ONE MOMENT FROM YOUR DATING OR EARLY MARRIAGE THAT MAKES YOU SMILE EVERY TIME YOU THINK ABOUT IT?
UH, OUR FIRST HANUKKAH.
I WAS GONNA SAY THAT.
NO WAY.
I WAS. I KID YOU NOT, ME DANCING IN THE --
YEAH.
AND MAKING THE LATKES. THAT WAS SO FUN.
HOW WERE WE GONNA SAY THE SAME ONE. THAT'S CRAZY.
IT REALLY CAME UP IN MY HEAD.
ME TOO. THAT'S WEIRD. THAT'S WILD.
THAT WAS JUST SUCH A FUN --
THAT'S SUCH A RANDOM MOMENT.
WAS THAT OUR VERY FIRST HANUKKAH AND OUR VERY FIRST CHRISTMAS? THAT WAS SUCH A GOOD ONE.
YEAH.
OH, AND YOU LET ME GO TO HOBBY LOBBY, AND I PICKED OUT ALL THE DECORATIONS.
YEAH, YEAH.
NOW YOU LOVE CHRISTMAS.
DID I NOT LOVE IT THEN? I WAS WARMING UP TO IT.
YOU WERE WARMING UP TO IT. I SHOWED YOU THIS THAT CHRISTMAS CAN BE LIKE FUN AND SIGNIFICANT AND MEANINGFUL.
YEAH.
OKAY.
I HAD BEEN GETTING COAL ALL MY LIFE. SO I NEVER --
[ LAUGHTER ]
HOW DO YOU MEET MEN WHO ARE GENUINE IN THE FAITH?
OH, GOSH.
LOVE FROM SCOTLAND. OH, SHOUTOUT MY OTHER HOMELAND.
OH, SCOTLAND, THAT'S SO COOL. SHOUT OUT TO -- OH, WE DON'T KNOW WHO SENT IT IN. COMMENT DOWN BELOW FROM WHERE YOU'RE WATCHING FROM.
ESPECIALLY IF YOU'RE IN SCOTLAND. I'VE BEEN TO SCOTLAND, BECAUSE I HAVE FAMILY THERE AND IT'S SUCH A BEAUTIFUL PLACE. I'D LOVE TO TAKE YOU SOMETIME...
I KNOW, I WANT TO GO ONE DAY.
BECAUSE IT'S JUST LIKE BEAUTIFUL AND REALLY JUST LIKE WHIMSICAL AND KIND OF EPIC BECAUSE THERE'S LIKE CASTLES EVERYWHERE.
YEAH.
UM, HOW DO YOU MEET MEN WHO ARE GENUINE IN THE FAITH? HOW DO YOU MEET MEN WHO ARE GENUINE?
OKAY, SO...
DIDN'T YOU ALREADY ANSWER THAT?
THAT IS SUCH A LAYERED QUESTION BECAUSE IT'S LIKE EVERYONE SAYS GO TO CHURCH, BUT YOU GOT TO BE CAREFUL BECAUSE THERE ARE SOME WOLVES IN THE CHURCH.
I WOULD SAY GO TO CHURCH, BUT WALK WITH DISCERNMENT.
EXACTLY AND I WOULD SAY TEST THE CHARACTERS. SEE HOW THEY TREAT THEIR MOTHERS. SEE HOW THEY TREAT OTHER PEOPLE. NOT JUST HOW THEY TREAT YOU, KEY. UM, SEE HOW THEY HANDLE HARDSHIP. I MEAN, JUST, YOU KNOW, IT'S VERY EASY TO PUT ON A FRONT AND SO I JUST WANT TO SAY BE CAREFUL BECAUSE THERE'S INCREDIBLE PEOPLE IN CHURCH, BUT THERE'S ALSO WOLVES IN CHURCH, THERE'S ALSO DEMONIZED PEOPLE IN CHURCH. I'M NOT TRYING TO BE TOO DEEP. I'M JUST TRYING TO SAY, YOU GOTTA BE CAREFUL.
BUT LIKE WE SAID, IF YOU'RE WALKING WITH THE HOLY SPIRIT DAY BY DAY, GOD IS GOING TO GIVE YOU A PEACE AND HE'S GOING TO MAKE IT CLEAR.
AND YOU HAVE ACCOUNTABILITY IN YOUR LIFE. LIKE BOTH OF US, WHEN WE WERE DATING JUST FROM OUR PRACTICAL STANDPOINT LIKE YOU SUBMITTED TO YOUR MOTHER AND FATHER. I SUBMITTED TO MY MOTHER AND FATHER. HEY, WE ARE PURSUING ONE ANOTHER. WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT THIS PERSON? YOU KNOW? AND WE DID THAT VERY EARLY ON BECAUSE I HAD DONE THAT WITH OTHER GIRLS TOO. YOU KNOW AND MY PARENTS WERE CLEAR LIKE I DON'T THINK THAT THAT WOULD BE A GOOD FIT FOR YOU.
YOU KNOW, THE BIBLE GIVES US DIRECTIONS TO KIND OF FOLLOW IT. YOU KNOW, IT SAYS HONOR YOUR MOTHER AND FATHER.
THERE'S A WAY, THERE'S BIBLICAL PRINCIPLES, THERE'S A WAY AND WE HONOR THAT IN OUR RELATIONSHIP. THE OTHER THING I WOULD SAY IS ONE OF THE THINGS. THAT'S SET YOU APART FROM OTHER PEOPLE WAS, UM, WHAT WAS I GOING TO SAY? ONE OF THE THINGS THAT SET YOU APART FROM OTHER GUYS AND I DIDN'T REALLY DATE, BUT LIKE I HAD GUY FRIENDS, WAS YOU WERE ONE OF THE -- AND THEY WERE GOOD CHRISTIAN GUYS.
BUT YOU WERE ONE OF THE ONLY PEOPLE THAT, IT'S LIKE A LOT OF GUYS WOULD TELL ME ABOUT LIKE WHAT GOD HAD SHOWED THEM OR THEY WOULD TALK AND TALK AND TALK ABOUT THEMSELVES. BUT YOU WERE LIKE ONE OF THE ONLY PEOPLE THAT WAS LIKE WHAT IS GOD SHOWING YOU AND IT'S LIKE YOU WANTED TO GET TO KNOW ME AND YOU ASKED THINGS, YOU ASKED FOR MY PERSPECTIVE AND MY VIEWPOINT AND THAT WAS JUST SO HONORING.
I STILL DO.
YOU DO AND YOU'RE GOOD TO YOUR MOM AND YOUR DAD. THAT'S REALLY BIG HOW YOU TREAT YOUR PARENTS. YOU KNOW, HOW YOU TREAT OTHER PEOPLE AND WE WENT THROUGH LIKE OUR RELATIONSHIP WASN'T EASY. WE WENT THROUGH SOME HARDSHIP, YOU KNOW AND I THINK THAT'S GOOD TOO BECAUSE YOU GET TO SEE WHAT THIS PERSON IS LIKE IN HARDSHIP. SO DON'T LOOK, DON'T PUT YOUR NOSE DOWN ON THAT. LIKE, YOU KNOW, WE WERE LIVING ON TWO DIFFERENT SIDES OF THE COUNTRY. AND WE FOUND, WE FOLLOWED GOD'S DIRECTION AND YOU ENDED UP HERE.
AND, YOU KNOW, THAT WAS HARD, BUT THAT WAS ACTUALLY ONE OF THE COOLEST PARTS OF OUR RELATIONSHIP IS REMEMBER LIKE WE WERE BELIEVING GOD FOR LIKE A PLACE FOR YOU TO STAY HERE AND LIKE BECAUSE IT MOVED SO QUICK AND GOD OPENED UP ALL THOSE DOORS. IT WAS SUCH A COOL LIKE FAITH-BUILDING MOMENT IN OUR LIVES. I LOVED IT. WE WOULD PRAY THAT NIGHT. AND THEN LIKE THE NEXT DAY, WE WOULD HAVE A BREAKTHROUGH AND IT WAS JUST LIKE BOOM, BOOM, BOOM.
IT STILL HAPPENS TODAY. REMEMBER IT HAPPENED TODAY? IT WAS SOMETHING COMPLETELY DIFFERENT, BUT LIKE IN OUR LIVES.
YEAH.
WE PRAYED LAST NIGHT AND HAD A BREAKTHROUGH TODAY.
YES, THAT'S TRUE.
YEAH.
OH, I LOVE IT. AND THIS IS WHY I LOVE HAVING SOMEONE THAT HAS THEIR OWN WALK WITH THE LORD. I LOVE BEING MARRIED TO SOMEONE THAT CAN HEAR GOD FOR THEMSELVES LIKE THAT IS JUST -- I CANNOT SAY NOT ONLY HEARS GOD, BUT SUBMITS TO GOD AND HAS WISDOM THAT IS JUST I'M SO THANKFUL FOR THAT, THAT YOU ARE LEADING OUR FAMILY, LEADING OUR MARRIAGE. SO, THANK YOU.
YOU'RE WELCOME. WHAT ARE WAYS Y'ALL PRAY AND STUDY GOD'S WORD TOGETHER AS A COUPLE IN THE SEASON WITH KIDS?
OH, IT'S SO HARD.
I LAUGH BECAUSE AT FIRST, I WAS LIKE I DON'T THINK WE DO. BUT THEN I REALIZED WHAT WE DO IS WE BOTH ARE SENDING EACH OTHER VERSES THAT WE GET TO ENCOURAGE ONE ANOTHER.
YEAH, IN OUR QUIET TIMES.
YEAH. BUT THEN ALSO IF EITHER ONE OF US LISTENS TO A MESSAGE OR AN EXHORTATION OR A PODCAST OR SOMETHING THAT HAS LIKE A NUGGET IN IT, WE TRY AND SEND THAT TO ONE OTHER AS WELL. AND THEN WE COME TOGETHER AT LEAST ONCE A DAY. IT'S NOT LIKE -- WE'RE NOT VERY FORMAL WITH THIS LIKE --
NO.
WE'RE NOT THIS IS THE TIME THAT WE SHALL MEET, WE QUOTE A PASSAGE. YOU KNOW, WE JUST MEET UP EITHER IN THE MORNING, SOMETIMES IT'S IN THE MIDDLE OF THE DAY. SOMETIMES IT'S AT NIGHT. IT'S LIKE AND WE'RE OFTEN BRINGING TO ONE ANOTHER EITHER SOMETHING GOD SHOWN ONE OF US OR SOMETHING THAT'S GOING ON THAT'S HARD IN OUR DAY OR AND WE JUST USE THAT AS A MOMENT TO FIND GOD AND SEEK HIM AND PRAY TOGETHER.
EXACTLY.
AND SO I WOULD SAY THAT IT'S VERY ORGANIC. I DON'T WANT TO SOUND TOO LIKE TRENDY, BUT LIKE THE WAY THAT WE DO IT IS KIND OF NATURAL. AND BECAUSE YOU AND I BOTH, AND WE FIGURED THIS OUT EARLIER ON IN DATING, WE BOTH WERE PURSUANT OF OUR RELATIONSHIP WITH THE LORD FIRST AND FOREMOST. BECAUSE WE'RE BOTH DOING THAT, WE KIND OF MEET IN THAT SPOT OFTEN.
YEAH, I COMPLETELY AGREE WITH YOU. IS THAT IT IS MORE ORGANIC, BUT YOU AND I, WE BOTH PRIORITIZE SPENDING TIME WITH GOD LIKE BEING IN THE SECRET PLACE. AND THEN THE STUFF THAT GOD SHOWS US FROM OUR OWN PRAYER LIFE, WE SHARE. AND I FEEL LIKE ONE OF THE THINGS WE MAJORLY DO WITH ONE ANOTHER IS WE ARE CONSTANTLY ENCOURAGING THE OTHER PERSON. WE'RE SO WE'RE PROCESSING LIFE AND SO I'LL COME TO YOU AND I'M LIKE, OH, THIS, THIS THIS, AND THIS.
AND YOU'LL ALWAYS COME WITH A WORD OF ENCOURAGEMENT FOR ME OR YOU'LL COME TO ME IF YOU'RE STRUGGLING OR IF SOMETHING'S DIFFICULT AND THEN I TRY TO BRING A WORD OF ENCOURAGEMENT FOR YOU. SO THAT'S A HUGE THING WE DO IN OUR MARRIAGE. PRAYER IS A HUGE THING THAT WE DO IN OUR MARRIAGE. AND THEN ONE OF THE NEW THINGS THAT WE'RE DOING IS ON SHABBAT, WE'RE LIGHTING THE CANDLES, INVITING GOD'S PRESENCE INTO OUR HOME. THAT'S A NEW THING THAT WE'RE DOING.
WHICH IS FUNNY BECAUSE...
I REALLY LOVE IT.
WE'VE ALWAYS DONE IT SINCE WE GOT MARRIED.
WE HAVE, BUT NOT CONSISTENTLY.
WE'RE SETTING LIKE A NEW FRAMEWORK SPECIFICALLY BECAUSE OUR KIDS ARE AT THAT AGE NOW WHERE THEY'RE FORMING THEIR FORMATIVE MEMORIES AND WE WANT THEM TO BE RAISED IN A HOME WHERE THEY HAVE AN UNDERSTANDING OF THEIR JEWISHNESS AS IT RELATES TO RELATIONSHIP WITH JESUS. AND SO WE'RE DOING SHABBAT IN THE HOME, LIGHTING THE CANDLES, SAYING THE BLESSINGS AND LIKE LETTING THAT MOMENT OF US COMING TOGETHER AS A FAMILY BEING CENTERED AROUND GOD AND HIS PRESENCE.
AND, WELL, THIS IS THE THING THAT WE ARE GOD'S PEOPLE AND GOD CREATED SHABBAT LIKE IT'S A PART OF LIKE THE KINGDOM CULTURE. IT'S A PART OF LIKE THE LIFESTYLE HE'S CALLING US TO THAT AT ONE TIME OF THE WEEK, WE ARE INVITING GOD'S PRESENCE INTO THE HOME AND THEN WE REST IN HIM. LIKE GOD CREATED THE WORLD IN SIX DAYS AND THEN HE RESTED AND SO IT'S SHOWING THAT WE WORKED.
AND HE GAVE US THAT FORMAT, EXACTLY.
EXACTLY, AND SO IT'S SO IMPORTANT TO UNDERSTAND REST AND ESPECIALLY IN SUCH A BUSY WORLD WHERE EVERYTHING IS FIGHTING FOR OUR ATTENTION.
JUST TURN THE PHONE OFF.
PUT THE PHONES DOWN. AND WHEN WE SAT AND WE LISTENED TO WORSHIP MUSIC, I FELT GOD'S PRESENCE SO STRONG AND THE KIDS JUST KIND OF GET TO BE KIDS, THEY PLAY AND STUFF, BUT THEY ARE TAKING THAT IN.
YES.
AND IT'S JUST BEAUTIFUL. AND I THINK, YOU KNOW, I LOVE GOING TO CHURCH AND CHURCH IS SO IMPORTANT. AND I WILL ALWAYS LIKE SUPPORT THAT, BUT YOU HAVE TO DO IT IN YOUR OWN HOME. AND THAT IS A -- I WOULD SAY THEY'RE BOTH IMPORTANT, BUT IT'S MORE IMPORTANT THAT IT'S MODELED IN YOUR HOME. DOES THAT MAKE SENSE?
YOU HAVE TO DO BOTH.
YOU HAVE TO DO BOTH LIKE AND SO THAT'S WHAT WE'RE DOING THROUGH THAT.
I THINK YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO GO, BUT I DO HAVE A GOOD ONE.
WELL, I FEEL LIKE WE'VE ALREADY -- HOW DO YOU KNOW GOD SENT JONATHAN? WE ALREADY TALKED ABOUT --
LET'S TALK ABOUT IT AGAIN. I'M JUST KIDDING. ALL RIGHT, HOW DID WE --
JONATHAN IS AMAZING. I REMEMBER WHEN I WAS DATING HIM. THIS IS SO NOT WHAT HE WOULD WANT ME TO SAY, BUT I REMEMBERED HAVING A CONVERSATION WITH MY MOM AND WE WERE JUST BOTH IN AWE OF THE PERSON YOU ARE. AND REALLY SO BLESSED THAT WE WERE IN A RELATIONSHIP AND YOU WERE ABOVE WHAT I EVEN EXPECTED. AND THAT'S HOW GOD IS. HE GIVES, YOU KNOW, FAR BEYOND WHAT WE CAN ASK OR THINK.
AND SO THAT'S WHAT HE DID WITH YOU AND I STILL FEEL THIS WAY AND YOU'VE ONLY GROWN INTO A MORE INCREDIBLE MAN OF GOD AND SO I LOVE YOU.
YOU MAKE MY HEART FLUTTER.
OH, WELL, I LOVE YOU. YOU'RE AMAZING. WE REALLY -- WE HAD THAT CONVERSATION, TEAM. WE HAD IT IN BRAZIL. WE HAD IT IN BRAZIL. OUR WHOLE TEAM IS FROM BRAZIL. I HAD IT IN BRAZIL IN RIO, ME AND MY MOM. I WENT TO BRAZIL.
WOW, LOOK AT THAT.
SO I WENT TO BRAZIL TWO PIVOTAL TIMES IN OUR RELATIONSHIP WHEN WE FIRST STARTED DATING AND THEN RIGHT AFTER WE GOT ENGAGED.
SUGAR MOUNTAIN OR SOMETHING. SUGAR LOVE. SOMETHING LIKE THAT.
COMMENT DOWN BELOW IF YOU KNOW WHAT SUGAR LOVE IS. I'M JUST KIDDING.
NO ONE UNDERSTOOD WHAT YOU SAID. BUT, YEAH, I DO REMEMBER YOU GOING ON THAT TRIP AND THAT WAS COOL TRIP BECAUSE YOU WERE MINISTERING. AND WHAT'S SO FUNNY IS NOW TO THIS DAY THE PERSON THAT YOU'RE MENTIONING HAS BECOME ONE OF MY GOOD FRIENDS.
WE'RE FRIENDS WITH THEM. I KNOW IT'S ONE OF THOSE COOL GOD FULL CIRCLE MOMENTS.
OKAY.
OH, WAIT. I DON'T THINK I EVER ASKED MY THING.
I HAVE A GOOD QUESTION FOR YOU. I WANT YOU TO ANSWER THIS.
OKAY. YOU GO.
NO, YOU HAVE THAT, GO AHEAD.
NO, I WANT HEAR YOUR --
I DEFER.
OKAY. WHAT DO YOU AND YOUR HUSBAND -- WHAT DO YOU DO FOR YOU AND YOUR HUSBAND TO HAVE A GETAWAY?
WELL --
I WANTED A SECOND.
IT'S BEEN A MINUTE.
LOTS OF BABIES.
BUT WHAT WE WERE DOING EARLIER ON IN OUR MARRIAGE, PRETEND LIKE WE'VE DONE IT THE WHOLE TIME IS WE WOULD DO A QUARTERLY CONNECT MOMENT, WHICH WOULD BE LIKE A WEEKEND TOGETHER.
YEAH, I THINK IT WAS MORE LIKE YEARLY, RIGHT?
NO, YEARLY, WE WOULD GO AWAY FOR AN EXTENDED PERIOD OF TIME. GRANTED, WE STARTED HAVING KIDS RIGHT AWAY. SO IT'S CHANGED AND IT HAS EVOLVED AND NOW WE'RE SUPER OVERDUE FOR ONE.
WE ARE OVERDUE FOR A MARRIAGE RETREAT.
WE'VE BEEN TALKING ABOUT IT FOR LIKE 18 MONTHS AND HAVE WE DONE ANYTHING IN THAT AMOUNT OF TIME?
NO, BUT WE'RE GOING TO.
NO, WE HAVE. WE'VE DONE SOME SMALL, SOME SMALL THINGS WHERE IT'S JUST THE TWO OF US. BUT IT WAS NOT REALLY TO INVEST IN ONE ANOTHER. WE WERE INVESTING IN LIKE, BUT THE THING THAT YOU'RE SAYING IS WE WOULD INTENTIONALLY HAVE A MARRIAGE RETREAT. WE WOULD INTENTIONALLY GO AWAY AND SPEND TIME TOGETHER AND WE'D ALSO INTENTIONALLY -- WE'RE SO OVERDUE, I'M FRUSTRATED RIGHT NOW.
WE WOULD CAST VISION TOGETHER.
HOW LONG WOULD IT TAKE FOR US TO BOOK SOMETHING? I MEAN --
PULL OUT YOUR PHONE. BOOK IT RIGHT NOW. WELL, I FEEL LIKE WE HAD TO WAIT TIL OUR KIDS WERE SETTLED.
THEY'LL NEVER BE SETTLED.
WELL, NO, THEY'RE MORE SETTLED NOW WHEN WE HAD LIKE A NEW BABY, BABY, BABY, WE COULDN'T DO IT. BUT NOW, YES.
LISTEN, LET'S LET THIS QUESTION BE THE MOMENT TONIGHT, YOU'RE BOOKING IT.
ACCOUNTABILITY.
ALL RIGHT. SPEAKING OF ME TELLING YOU TO DO SOMETHING, HOW DO YOU --
BUT, WAIT, TO ANSWER THAT QUESTION. WE GET AWAY. WE ARE INTENTIONAL. WE --
WHAT WAS THE QUESTION?
WHAT DO WE DO ON OUR GETAWAY?
OH, WE'RE VERY INTENTIONAL ABOUT THAT.
AND WE ARE INTENTIONAL ABOUT DOING IT. WE'RE INTENTIONAL WITH WHAT WE DO. AND ONE OF THESE WE JUST HAVE FUN TOGETHER BECAUSE YOU, IT'S WHEN YOU'RE WITH YOUR KIDS ALL THE TIME, YOU KNOW, THE VIBE IS DIFFERENT WHEN IT'S JUST THE TWO OF YOU. AND IT'S JUST EASIER THAT YOU CAN FULLY FOCUS ON THAT PERSON AND YOU'RE NOT -- YOUR ATTENTION IS NOT DIVIDED BECAUSE WE'RE IN THE PHASE OF LITTLE KIDS. YOU KNOW, SO LITTLE KIDS ARE LIKE DADDY, DADDY, MOMMY, MOMMY, MOMMY, YOU KNOW, AND WE LOVE OUR KIDS SO MUCH.
THEY'RE SUPER CUTE, BUT WHEN IT'S JUST THE TWO OF US, IT'S LIKE WE GET TO BE LIKE JUST FOCUSED ON ONE ANOTHER AND WE'RE BOTH QUALITY TIME PEOPLE. SO WE HAVE FUN. WE PRAY AND WE SEEK GOD'S, WHAT IS GOD TELLING US AND SO THAT'S WHAT WE TRY TO DO IT ONCE A YEAR. WHAT ARE YOU TELLING US FOR THIS YEAR? YOU KNOW.
WHAT'S INTERESTING, THOUGH, I'LL SAY, THIS IS THE LAST THING I'LL SAY ON THIS TOPIC IS EVEN THOUGH WE HAVEN'T GOTTEN AWAY, AWAY.
YEAH.
WE HAVE FOUND WAYS TO DO THIS IN THE MIDST OF OUR LIVES, BECAUSE WE CARVE OUT A DATE EVERY WEEK AND WE GET TWO -- SO WE GET TWO HOURS UNINTERRUPTED, JUST ME AND YOU EVERY WEEK.
YES, KEY.
WE BRING IN A BABYSITTER AND SO THAT, WELL, GRANTED I'M PROBABLY GOING TO GET SLAUGHTERED IN THE COMMENTS, THIS ISN'T A MARRIAGE RETREAT OR TAKING YOUR WIFE AWAY, BUT IT IS GIVING US A MOMENT OF JUST THE TWO OF US TO CONNECT.
YOU'VE ALWAYS PRIORITIZED ME. SO YOU DON'T NEED TO GET SLAUGHTERED IN THE COMMENTS.
THANK YOU, TO CONNECT, TO PLAN, TO STRATEGIZE, TO JUST BE TOGETHER TO LAUGH, TO HAVE FUN AND THAT THING IS IMPORTANT BECAUSE YOU HAVE TO KEEP LIKE YOUR LOVE ON. YOU HAVE TO INVEST IN THE RELATIONSHIP AND THAT'S ONE OF THOSE WAYS TO DO THAT.
THAT'S SO GOOD.
HOW TO BE SUBMITTED TO YOUR HUSBAND AND HOW TO LOVE YOUR WIFE LIKE CHRIST LOVED THE CHURCH?
OH, MY GOSH, WELL, I WAS GOING TO SAY, I THOUGHT I WAS ONLY GOING TO SAY HOW TO BE SUBMITTED TO YOUR HUSBAND. AND I ALWAYS SAY THE FULL CONTEXT OF THAT VERSE, WHICH IS WIVES SUBMIT TO YOUR HUSBANDS, HUSBANDS LOVE YOUR WIVES AS CHRIST LOVED THE CHURCH AND HE LAID HIS LIFE DOWN FOR HER.
YOU KNOW WHAT? AND THERE'S BEEN SO MANY TIMES, NOT SO MANY, BUT PROBABLY A DOZEN, MAYBE MORE, I DON'T KNOW, THAT I HAVE GONE TO GOD IN FRUSTRATION OVER WHATEVER.
NO, NOT ME.
YES, YOU MAYBE, SOMEBODY HERE, COULD BE YOU. YOU AND HE WOULD SHOW ME THAT VERSE. AND I WOULD FEEL CONVICTION, BECAUSE THAT TYPE OF LOVE, THE ULTIMATE SACRIFICE, IS LIKE YOU CAN'T QUESTION IT, YOU KNOW AND SO IT'S A BEAUTIFUL PICTURE AND A BEAUTIFUL VERSE THAT WE'VE BEEN GIVEN AS MEN BECAUSE THERE'S REALLY NO LIVING UP TO IT. YOU CAN NEVER LIVE UP TO THE SACRIFICE THAT JESUS PAID FOR ALL OF US. AND SO, UM, IT'S FUNNY HOW GOD WILL USE THAT LIKE AS A GENTLE REMINDER.
IT'S LIKE THIS IS THE WAY, SON.
WELL, YOU CANNOT LOVE THAT WAY ON YOUR OWN, BUT YOU CAN LOVE LIKE THAT, GOD THROUGH YOU. JUST HOW LIKE SOMETIMES IT'S DIFFICULT TO FORGIVE PEOPLE, BUT GOD CAN HELP US FORGIVE AND HE FORGIVES THROUGH US, IF THAT MAKES SENSE. SO HE GIVES US THE GRACE AND THE LOVE FOR THE ABILITY TO LAY OUR LIVES DOWN FOR ONE ANOTHER. AND TO ANSWER THE QUESTION ABOUT SUBMISSION, THE FULL CONTEXT OF THAT VERSE IS WIVES, SUBMIT TO THEIR HUSBANDS, HUSBANDS, LOVE YOUR WIVES AND LAY YOUR LIFE DOWN.
LOVE YOUR WIVES LIKE CHRIST LOVED THE CHURCH LAYING HIS LIFE DOWN FOR HER. AND A LOT OF TIMES PEOPLE HEAR, WIVES, YOU NEED TO SUBMIT TO YOUR HUSBANDS. BUT REALLY WE NEED TO SUBMIT, BUT BETWEEN THE TWO, I SAY THE HUSBAND HAS THE HARDER ROLE BECAUSE TO BE LIKE CHRIST AND TO LAY YOUR LIFE DOWN FOR HER.
THANK YOU.
AND SO, YOU KNOW, I, YOU KNOW, MEN ARE BEING CALLED. YOU KNOW, YOU'RE THE HEAD OF THE HOME, BUT --
ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS LISTEN. WE HAVE TO LIVE UP TO GOD. THAT'S WAY, HARDER. WELL, THE THING IS THIS IS THAT MEN ARE THE HEAD AND SO THE MORE AUTHORITY YOU HAVE, THE GREATER RESPONSIBILITY YOU HAVE. AND SO IT'S SOMETHING TO BE TAKEN AND TO LEAD IS TO SERVE. AND SO A HUSBAND IS SERVING HIS WIFE AND SERVING HIS FAMILY.
AND THE BEST, ONE OF THE BEST DESCRIPTIONS OF MARRIAGE THAT I'VE EVER HEARD AND, WOMEN, I WOULD JUST ENCOURAGE YOU TO LOVE YOUR HUSBANDS AND PRAY FOR THEM AND GOD WILL HANDLE THEM AND HE WILL SPEAK TO THEM. YOU DON'T NEED TO -- THIS IS NOT GOING TO BE TAKEN WELL. BUT THIS IS JUST MY PERSONAL EXPERIENCE.
I DON'T, I REALLY FEEL LIKE IT'S BETTER TO NOT TRY TO CORRECT THEM OR TELL THEM WHAT TO DO OR COME FROM A PLACE OF TRYING TO, BUT JUST LOVING THEM AND PRAYING FOR THEM AND ALLOWING, YOU KNOW, WHEN YOU HAVE A HUSBAND WHO HEARS FROM THE LORD, THE LORD WILL SHOW THEM THE WAY.
JUST LIKE YOU SAID, GOD HAS BROUGHT YOU TO THAT VERSE SO THAT'S MY ENCOURAGEMENT AND -- AND SERVING THEM, ONE THING THAT YOU DO SO WELL, I LOVE WHEN YOU DO THIS WELL, IS SERVE, YOU KNOW, LIKE MAN'S NUMBER ONE NEED I THINK IS RESPECT.
YEAH.
THAT'S DEFINITELY UP THERE, YOU KNOW. AND SO IT'S ALMOST LIKE WHEN YOU'RE DOING THAT, THE OTHER ONE COMES EASIER AND SO ON. AND THEN WHEN I'M DOING THAT, THEN IT COMES EASIER TO SERVE. SO IT'S KIND OF LIKE IF YOU'RE BOTH WORKING TOWARDS THAT COMMON GOAL, IT'S LIKE YOU MAKE IT EASIER FOR THE OTHER PERSON TO REACH ACROSS THE AISLE AND MEET YOU THERE.
AND IF SOMEONE AND THIS IS JUST ANOTHER LITTLE PIECE OF ADVICE. JUST APOLOGIZE QUICKLY. DON'T DIG YOUR HEELS IN AND TRY TO BE RIGHT. JUST SAY YOU'RE SORRY.
THAT'S SOMETHING THAT MY DAD HAS TALKED TO US ABOUT WHICH I LIKE THE WAY, HE SAYS IT'S THE FIRST ONE TO THE CROSSWINDS LIKE IT'S A RACE. SO IT'S KIND OF LIKE A FUN WAY TO THINK ABOUT IT. BECAUSE, YOU KNOW, THE FIRST ONE TO SAY, I'M SORRY, YOU KNOW, AND SOMETIMES WHEN YOU'RE IN THE HEAT OF THE BATTLE AND ANYONE WHO'S BEEN MARRIED, YOU KNOW, LIKE THERE'S BATTLES.
IT'S HARD TO LIKE FIND YOURSELF THERE, BUT WHAT YOU AND I HAVE DONE IS WHEN WE'VE FOUND OURSELVES THERE AND WE'VE GOTTEN TO THE CROSS AND WE'VE MET THERE, WE'VE BEEN ABLE TO RESOLVE THINGS SO QUICK -- SO MUCH QUICKLY AND LIKE WITH EASE AND RESTORE WHATEVER IT WAS THAT WAS THERE, WHATEVER IT CAME IN. BECAUSE LIKE LIFE IS HARD AND YOU'RE ALSO -- MARRIAGE IS UNDER ATTACK, FAMILIES ARE UNDER ATTACK. THE DEVIL IS REAL. SO ALL THESE THINGS ARE TAKING PLACE.
YOU HAVE TO UNDERSTAND IT'S NOT A PERFECT BUBBLE THAT WE'RE LIVING IN, UM.
AND IT'S JUST WE'VE LEARNED I THINK TO FIGHT BETTER AND RECOVER QUICKER.
YES.
AND I THINK THAT'S SO IMPORTANT. WE'VE JUST LEARNED, WE'VE BOTH HAVE LEARNED IT'S NOT WORTH IT --
WE BOTH HAVE LEARNED.
WE'RE TRYING TO PROVE THAT THEY'RE -- YOU'RE RIGHT OR TO DECK IT OUT. IT'S JUST BETTER TO COME -- I'M TELLING YOU, HUMILITY, HUMILITY, HUMILITY, SERVICE. AND LIKE I SAID, ONE OF THE BEST DESCRIPTIONS OF MARRIAGE AND IT REALLY CONVICTED ME. I HEARD THIS A COUPLE YEARS AGO FROM -- IN A DEREK PRINCE SERMON. IS HE SAID MARRIAGE, THAT WHEN YOU MARRY YOUR SPOUSE, THE TWO BECOME ONE, AND YOUR LIFE IS LIKE GOING AS GOD BRINGS YOU TOGETHER.
IT'S LIKE GOD BRINGING YOU THROUGH THE WORK OF THE CROSS AND YOUR LIFE IS NO LONGER YOUR OWN, YOU KNOW. IT'S LIKE YOU DIE TO SELF AND NOW THE TWO HAVE BECOME ONE. AND YOUR LIFE IS NOW SERVING THAT PERSON. AND IF BOTH PEOPLE COULD JUST HAVE THAT MENTALITY IN THAT MARRIAGE, WHAT A POWERFUL AND BEAUTIFUL THING IT WOULD BE. AND SO IT CONVICTED ME BECAUSE HE SAID YOUR ROLE IS TO SERVE THAT PERSON AND THEY WILL BE A REFLECTION OF YOUR SERVICE. AND I REMEMBER I WAS LIKE I NEED TO SERVE MY HUSBAND MORE.
SO IT'S NICE TO HEAR THAT YOU AFFIRM ME IN THAT.
WE'VE GOT IT ON TAPE, SEND ME THAT CLIP. NO, I WAS GOING TO SAY ONE THING THAT'S, UM, LIGHTHEARTED, BUT TRUE IS LIKE NOT SWEATING THE SMALL STUFF. WHEN -- THE SMALL STUFF CAN LIKE REALLY ANNOY YOU. LIKE THERE'S THINGS THAT I DO THAT ANNOY YOU AND VICE VERSA, BUT WHAT WE'VE LEARNED TO DO IS LIKE LAUGH AT THOSE THINGS TOGETHER AND THAT MAKES IT LIKE -- IT ALMOST LIKE DISARMS IT BECAUSE IT STILL BOTHERS US.
LIKE THERE'S THINGS THAT I DO THAT THAT BOTHERS YOU, BUT YOU'VE LEARNED TO LIKE POKE FUN AT IT WITH ME AND LIKE I'LL POKE FUN --
I THINK HUMOR.
YOU KNOW, AND THAT HELPS.
IT'S ONE OF THE BEST THINGS IN OUR HOME.
IT'S A MUSCLE THAT YOU BUILD OVER TIME, BUT, YEAH.
AND I THINK BEING ABLE TO LAUGH IS KEY TO GO THROUGH DIFFICULTY, TO DEAL WITH FRUSTRATIONS OR COMPLICATIONS. IF YOU COULD LEARN TO JUST LAUGH AND FORGIVE AND BE HUMBLE, THESE ARE THINGS THAT ARE GOING TO BRING SO MUCH PEACE. AND I THINK WITH WOMEN, I THINK WE SET THE TONE FOR THE HOME AND --
YOU DEFINITELY DO, IT'S BIBLICAL.
I'VE HAD TO JUST BE LIKE, OKAY. AM I GOING TO BRING IN AN ENVIRONMENT OF STRIFE INTO MY HOME OR AM I GOING TO BRING IN AN ATMOSPHERE OF LOVE?
YOU WILL ADMIT THE MOMENTS THAT YOU'VE SET THE TONE HAVE BEEN THE BIGGEST LIKE ATMOSPHERE CHANGERS IN THE HOME.
YEAH.
LIKE AND EVEN IF I'M, YOU KNOW, IT'S JUST -- IT'S THE WAY IT'S LIKE SET UP.
IT'S LIKE AN ANCHOR. LIKE YOU CHOOSE HOW IT'S GOING TO BE.
I THINK THE HUSBAND SETS THE TRAJECTORY AND LIKE LAYS THE FOUNDATION AND PUTS THE FRAMEWORK IN PLACE. BUT THEN THE WIFE IS LIKE THE HOLY SPIRIT. SHE BRINGS IT TOGETHER IN LIKE THE ANOINTING TO LIKE FOSTER GOD'S PRESENCE, FLOWS THROUGH HER INTO THE HOME. IT TAKES TWO, BUT I REALLY BELIEVE THAT LIKE THAT'S THE MODEL.
AND WHAT YOU'RE SAYING IS SO TRUE IS THAT THE THING IS THAT PEOPLE FIGHT AND I THINK ABOUT IN THE GARDEN WHEN ADAM AND EVE WHEN GOD IS SAYING YOU TWO ARE GOING TO BECAUSE OF THE CURSE THEY HAD SINNED, THEY HAD EATEN THE APPLE. AND SO GOD WAS SAYING, YOU KNOW, YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE TO WORK BY THE SWEAT OF YOUR BROW. HE'S SAYING ALL OF THE RAMIFICATIONS OF THE SIN. AND ONE OF THE THINGS THAT HE SAYS IS I THINK HE SAYS THERE'S BASICALLY GOING TO BE A POWER STRUGGLE BETWEEN ADAM AND EVE.
AND I THINK IN MARRIAGE, THERE IS -- PEOPLE WANT TO FIGHT FOR POWER AND THAT'S WHY THE SUBMISSION THING IS SUCH A HOT BUTTON TOPIC BECAUSE PEOPLE GET ANGRY. BUT IF WE CAN JUST LEARN THAT INSTEAD OF TRYING TO FIGHT OVER I'M THE HEAD AND YOU'RE THIS, I'M MORE IMPORTANT THAN YOU, BUT TO UNDERSTAND THAT MAN AND WOMAN, HUSBAND AND WIFE, BOTH HAVE VALUE AND PURPOSE IN GOD'S EYES AND THAT THE ORDER IS NOT A MATTER OF JUST BECAUSE A WOMAN IS UNDER A MAN DOESN'T MEAN SHE'S ANY LESS VALUABLE.
SHE'S JUST AS VALUABLE. IT'S JUST A MATTER OF ORDER. BECAUSE IF THERE'S NOT ORDER, THERE'S CHAOS AND WE DON'T SERVE A GOD OF CHAOS. WE SERVE A GOD OF ORDER AND A COVERING AND A HEAD IS ACTUALLY A COVERING OF PROTECTION FOR THE WOMAN IN THE FAMILY. IT'S ACTUALLY A BEAUTIFUL THING. IT'S ONLY WHEN PEOPLE TWIST IT AND ABUSE IT THAT IT'S WRONG, BUT THAT'S NOT HOW GOD INTENDED IT TO BE. HE INTENDED TO BE A BEAUTIFUL THING AND A HELPFUL THING AND SO...
SO GOOD.
HUMBLE, LOVE, SERVE, KEY.
LAST QUESTION. HOW DO YOU MODEL A CHRISTLIKE MARRIAGE FOR YOUR KIDS?
OH. YOU -- YOU WANT TAKE THAT? FOOTBALL PASS.
WELL, I WOULD SAY THAT WE'RE LEARNING EVERY DAY AND WORKING EVERY DAY TO BE BETTER AT THAT. UM, BUT ONE THING THAT PRACTICALLY THAT WE TRY AND DO IS NOT BICKER OR FIGHT IN FRONT OF THEM.
THAT'S WHAT I WAS GOING TO SAY. THAT'S SO FUNNY.
YOU KNOW, IT'S NOT ALWAYS EASY LIKE WE'RE NOT PERFECT.
TRYING TO FIGHT FAIR.
OR TRY AND ACTUALLY -- I'M ALWAYS TRYING TO SHELF IT AND DEAL WITH IT LATER, BECAUSE I DON'T WANT TO SHOW THEM THAT NECESSARILY, NOT THAT WE DON'T SHOW THEM CONFLICT.
LET'S CLARIFY THIS. YOU WANT TO SHELF OR TELL ME IF I'M WRONG, YOU SHELF WHEN THINGS ARE GETTING OUT OF HAND. WHEN IT'S TOO HEATED IN THE MOMENT AND YOU SAY SHELF IT, WE'LL TALK ABOUT THIS LATER BECAUSE IT'S TOO EMOTIONAL. BUT WE FIGHT, WE TALK THINGS THROUGH IN FRONT OF OUR CHILDREN TO SHOW THEM --
THAT'S TRUE, BUT THAT'S DIFFERENT.
THIS IS HOW YOU WORK TOWARDS A SOLUTION.
AND WE EXPLAIN IT TO THEM. LIKE ASHER STARTS TO BE LIKE, DON'T FIGHT OR LIKE DON'T MAKE ME PUT YOU GUYS ON TIMEOUT AND THEN WE SAY IT'S OKAY. AND THEN IT ACTUALLY IS WE ARE WORKING THROUGH THIS. YOU DON'T NEED TO BE A PART OF IT. WE LOVE YOU UNCONDITIONALLY. THIS ISN'T AFFECTING YOU.
YOU DON'T HAVE TO, IT'S NOT YOUR JOB.
AND HE RELAXES. HE'S LIKE, OH, OKAY. THIS IS LIKE MOMMY AND DADDY GOTTA FIGURE THIS THING OUT AND THEN WE'LL FIGURE OUT THE RESOLUTION AND HE SEES THAT TAKE PLACE. BUT UM --
IT'S UNFRUITFUL FIGHTING THAT WE SHELF WHERE WHEN IT'S HURTFUL. WE DON'T DO THAT, WE REALIZE, OKAY, WE'RE NOT DOING THIS, SHELF THIS, WE'LL TALK ABOUT THIS WHEN THE EMOTIONS HAVE GONE DOWN AND LIKE YOU SAID WITH ASHER, IS WE TAUGHT THEM, BECAUSE SOMETIMES HE'LL SEE US TALKING AND SOMETIMES, HE'S LIKE, YOU KNOW, HE'S MISTER LIKE, YOU KNOW, DO THE RIGHT THING. YOU KNOW, AND SO HE'S LIKE, YOU TWO BE NICE. WE'RE ALWAYS LIKE, HONEY, YOU'RE THE CHILD, WE'RE THE PARENT, WE WILL WORK IT OUT.
YOU DON'T HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT MOMMY AND DADDY, WE ARE TALKING IT OUT AND HE'S LIKE, OH, AND THEN HE'S GOOD. SO YEAH, BUT YEAH, I WAS GOING TO SAY FIGHTING IN A CHRISTLIKE, NOT FIGHTING, BUT COMING TO RESOLUTION IN A CHRISTLIKE WAY, LOVING ONE ANOTHER SERVING ONE --
SERVING ONE ANOTHER.
SHOWING AFFECTION, I THINK IT'S HUGE. I DON'T THINK YOU HAVE TO SAVE THAT, LIKE YOU CAN HUG ONE ANOTHER, KISS ONE ANOTHER IN FRONT OF YOUR KIDS. I THINK PRIORITIZING ONE ANOTHER IN FRONT OF YOUR CHILDREN. YOU KNOW, YOUR CHILDREN ARE VALUABLE AND YOU SHOW THEM THAT YOU LOVE THEM.
BUT YOU SHOW THEM THAT, HEY, YOUR MOTHER YOUR FATHER COME FIRST AND THAT ACTUALLY GIVES YOUR CHILDREN A SENSE OF SECURITY BECAUSE IT'S NOT SHOWING THEM THAT EVERYTHING REVOLVES AROUND THEM WHICH WOULD FEEL UNSTABLE, BUT RATHER THAT EVERYTHING REVOLVES AROUND THE LORD. YOU KNOW, AND THEN THERE'S HIS ORDER OF THINGS, SO...
I CAN'T BELIEVE WE MADE IT THROUGH AN ENTIRE VALENTINE'S DAY EPISODE WITH NO QUESTIONS ABOUT SEX. EITHER SOMEBODY WENT THROUGH AND FILTERED THESE QUESTIONS OUT. WHY ARE YOU BURYING YOUR HEAD IN THE MIKE? I THOUGHT FOR SURE THERE WAS GOING TO BE LIKE MULTIPLE SEX QUESTIONS.
I DON'T KNOW IF WE GIVE OFF THOSE VIBES THAT WE TALK ABOUT SEX ON A PUBLIC PLATFORM.
OH, THAT'S RIGHT.
I DON'T THINK WE GIVE OFF, I DON'T THINK I GIVE OFF THAT ENERGY.
WELL, IT WAS A COUPLE THING. ANYWAYS, YOU'LL HAVE TO TUNE IN NEXT YEAR AND SEE IF ANYONE WRITES A QUESTION.
SEE IF ANYONE ADDS ANYTHING STEAMY INTO THE CONVERSATION. WOULD I EVEN ANSWER IT? PROBABLY NOT.
PROBABLY NOT. WE'D PROBABLY HAVE TO EDIT IT OUT.
YOU PROBABLY WOULD.
I WOULD.
YOU'RE SO CHILL, YOU DON'T CARE. AND ON THAT NOTE, HOPE YOU HAVE SOME GOOD SEX ON VALENTINE'S DAY IF YOU'RE MARRIED.
[ LAUGHTER ]
IF YOU'RE NOT, WAIT FOR THE MARRIAGE AND THE RIGHT PERSON.
I JUST WANT TO SAY I LOVE YOU AND I ENJOY GETTING TO SIT DOWN AND TALK THESE THINGS THROUGH. IT'S LIKE FUNNY BECAUSE YOU THINK THIS MOMENT, IT'S LIKE IT'S A WORK MOMENT, WE'RE PREPARING SOMETHING, BUT IT'S ACTUALLY NICE TO CONNECT IN THIS WAY AND IT'S A GOOD REMINDER OF WHO WE ARE TOGETHER AND SO APPRECIATE YOU HAVING ME ON.
WELL, I LOVE YOU. THANK YOU FOR SAYING THAT. MY FAVORITE PODCASTS ARE THE ONES I DO WITH YOU. SO WE'LL SEE YOU HERE AGAIN, I HOPE.