Hey Girlfriend!

we talked for like over ten minutes. And Robin because it's her job to press record, okay, fine, it might be mine. Who knows if that didn't press it. This is a collaborative effort. Okay, alright, alright, it takes two green eye bandits to press record, all right, now, yes it does. But guess what, we will never make that wrong mistake again. Oh no, because I was ready to quit, like I was like, okay, my my podcast days are over. Oh gosh. All right, so we have a wonderful like

we have a like explosive kind of episode tonight. Yes, this is a fun topic. I think I know you and I have a lot of input on it. I know our listeners are going to be right there with us, Yes, agreeing, having you know, the same shared experiences, all that good stuff. Yes, And the topic tonight is I don't have us tonight. But the topic for this episode is hey, girlfriend, we're talking all things. Girlfriend. We're talking do we like them? Do we hate them? Do we need new friends? Um,

we're getting into it. Can we get into the girlfriend scenario? Yes? Because you know what, it's so weird, like it doesn't matter how old we are. Yes, it's still like navigating the friendship world is still kind of awkward. You know, you find out that like, Okay, it doesn't matter how old we are, people still have issues and we still need to be sensitive towards them. Yes, yes, So but before we get into the episode, of course, we have our reasonably shady moment of the week. So I'm going

to go first. And since the topic is about girlfriends friends, um, this is going to be centered around that. So so

my reasonably shady moment goes to myself of course. Um, and it's because I actually picked up the phone and called two of my friends, you know, like nowadays, like you know, we just text, you know, you might say, you know, hey, girl, you look cute on on Instagram or something, but like you don't really pick up the phone that much and talk to your friends these days, or certain ones are certain friends that talk all the time,

Like you and I we talk all the time. So this is where the shady part comes in now, because I was fuse, you just pick up the phone call and your girlfriends. When when is the shade coming in? The shady part is it was like thirty seconds into the call and I'm like, so you know this is why I don't call because they was talking about nothing. They was just a wine and a complaining and it's like, oh God, now I know why I don't call or

why I don't pick the phone up instantly. So you know, Okay, along those same lines, So you have some friends when they call, You're like, Okay, let me see what you want. I'm gonna pick I'm gonna pick up because you know she's calling for a reason, or it's gonna be like you know you're gonna have a good conversation. Okay, girl, let's talk about this man bad man. I'm off. Then there's other friends that call and you're like, lord, what do shell? God? I don't got time. I can't do

it right now. I'm cooking dinner. She's gonna distract me. I'm trying to like, no, this is this is a that. Those are the ones that you call when you're in the car, like when you're driving long distances and you're like, okay, who can I call and you're like, let me call her friend back. So I'm in the car, I call her back, okay, and I'm just like, why, so did you lie to her and making an excuse to get off the phone. No, and see that, and this is

the reasonable part. I am a good friend, and I know sometimes my friends just want me to listen or you know, they just want to hear my voice, or they want to hear that I care. And I do care. But there's just the limit where I'm like, okay, enough, it's enough. Is enough for shady Giselle would have been like, girl, oh my god, I gotta go. I got a flat tire, Oh my god, I gotta go. It was actually when we went to um the music video that we were at whole d that whole Okay, that was a good

hour and a half. Yeah, okay, yeah, yeah, alright, So my reasonably shady. Moment of the week is um. Okay. So I am a huge proponent of getting rid of this thing called COVID. So I got myself a little appointment and I got my first shot. My vaccine is in my arm, and I am mad at the entire world. Why because everybody says, so, your arm is gonna hurt a little bit, but you're gonna be good. No, just that was flat on her back. Okay, I was. I was on my I had chills fever, I was shaking.

My kids were looking over me like, Mommy, are you going to be okay? And I was really not prepared for what came with that first shot. Now am I getting the second shot? Of course I am. Do I think everybody should be vaccinated, Yes, I do. But I just want to say the world is shady because y'all lied to me about the symptoms and the side effects. I mean I heard some people say they had side effects. You hear it all, Oh, it's not that bad or um,

I was tired, I couldn't get out of bed all day. Well, for me, it was bad, And I just want people to know that it can be bad, yes, because I think if they don't know that, then they think like, oh my god, this thing is gonna kill me, or you know, I know it's wouldn't have taken it, or you know something's wrong. So yeah, it probably is good for them to tell you, like, um, this thing is not going to be easy. Now I did after I

got the shot go out and have drinks. But that's a whole another story and we don't need to talk about that anyway. Let's move into the episode. Is that in the rules there a rule or something. Listen, Okay, it is time to start this episode in which we're going to talk about our girlfriends. Hey girlfriends, girl, how you doing? Okay, So, first and foremost, at this point in time in our lives, are we Drake? Do we need new friends? No new friends? How's it going? No

new friends? No new friends? I can't remember how it goes either. Robin sings sing the wrong song right now? Okay? So I do appreciate, for instance, you and I, Robin, we met later in life, and if I had the thought in my head okay, no new friends, then our friendship would not have happened. So true. Okay, So I want to block myself from new people that are coming into my life. You never know what why God is sending somebody into your life, so I never want to

do that. However, these women out here crazy, right. I think the older we get, the more you know, well set in the ways people are um, the more like and especially if they've experienced some things. It's weird. Like I keep thinking, like, oh, as adults, you should realize, like you know, life is like a box of chocolates, and you know, you get tougher and you just kind

of roll with the punches. But some people let everything they go through like scar them, and and then they become more pressed to like impress people or you know, it's like this this crazy need to keep up with the joneses and to make sure that you are like, you know, the baddest one and or you know whatever. It is like competing with people, and I think that's when we have a problem. But I find and it's

you know, this is crazy. I never thought I would say this, but like I'm making friends with like the sports ums that I hang out with, you know, I mean from your kids, from your kids teams, so my kids football teams, basketball teams. And it's like, because those are women that I spend a lot of time with and you'll have something in common, which is the game

that your kids are playing, right exactly our kids. Our kids might become friends, and but it's something it's like it's funny because you're like, Okay, when I was growing up, but I've made friends with this person or what I've

been friends with this person in college. Not necessarily like you wouldn't have chosen to be that be friends with some of these people, but because you're around them all the time, you're communicating with them all the time, you end up you know, like you know, I kind of share before in a hotel room drinking all night with people, and that was episode one. If y'all miss that Robin drinks with these women that she meets and they're in hotel rooms and they don't make it to the games

the next day to see their kids play. We do, but like with one I opened, they're delirious. They have no idea what's happening. Okay. So another question is when you meet these new people, do you google them? Well, it depends, Okay. I feel like when you meet someone that is that comes in the room and it's talking about what they do and who they are, and what they have and what their man has and where they live. Then yeah, I'm a googling you. Yes, and I'm googling

your house, your address. Okay, okay, okay, I'm not going that far. But I kind of feel like, um, if if you're in my personal space and potentially in my intimate setting, right, I don't know what's gonna happen. The cops might come. I don't know if you if you're a drug dealer girlfriend, if you had a criminal background and all of a sudden the fans caught up with you, Like, I don't want to be around when the fads come.

But that's not going to be on on Google. It's just not So it's not gonna be like You're gonna be like Susie Jones is her boyfriend is a jug dealer. It would be on Google because this has happened. I had a friend and she had a case pending. Oh and so that's a case search. Oh well I didn't it just ship. It just came. It was in the Washington Post, So it just came up when I googled her, and so so then I knew, Okay, if I go out with her and just have some drinks. There's a

potential that somebody might come that night lock her up. True, But are you going to be doing illegal activity with that friend? No, I'm not doing any illegal activity. But I just need to know because I'm just going to get locked up for associated with her. I don't I don't want to be in the paper like Jaelle Bryant was there when so so got locked up. No, I don't want that. So instead, you're just going to be like out to drinks and like your head is on

a swivel. I'm not going. And when she invites me to for drinks, I'm not going. You're not going to be her friend? Oh right, that's mean Okay, No, I'm not. And that's when Drake comes in friends exactly. Okay, I

mean I think. Right, So, if it's a new friend she's got some criminal record, yeah you might want to you know, stand back, yes, yes, But if it's a friend that you've had for a while and she got into a little bit of trouble, I say you continue to support her, Okay, alright, so you know because I know, and it bothers the freak out of me. That a lot of times, especially when when we meet people, they feel like they have something to prove, right for whatever reason,

I don't know. Maybe it's because we don't we on TV. I don't know what it is, but they feel like they've got something to prove, so they want to come to the conversation talking about all this stuff like bragging, like name dropping. That is an instant turn off for me, Like you you want me to turn my ears off? Like they're like, just you know, my ears don't work as soon as you start talking about who you know and what you did and what you have and No, the best way to make friends, I think is to

just be normal. Just be you. Don't try to be something you're not, just be who you are. Right. And it's weird. It's like I think some people might hear that where we're like, you know, we don't want to hear people bragging like oh, well, maybe you're jealous of what their what's coming out of their mouth. It's like, no, I want to have a connection with someone because I

connect with them with their personality. Um, I don't want it to be Okay, Well, I'm impressed by what you have and what you do, so I want to be your friends. So I can benefit from what you have and what you do. You know, that's a no. Yeah. And there's been times I remember, like, you know, years ago when I was, when we were young and done, we would buy new cars like all the time. And I remember like buying a car, and I'm a type I don't like, I don't go around bragging about what

I have. And and the next time my friends saw me, they were like, oh my god, why didn't you tell me you got a new car? And I'm like, wow, would I tell you that I got a new car? Yes? And people who asked that, I gotta look at them weird because it's like, why you why? Why is that the topic of conversation? Why is materialistic things the only

topic of conversation? Exactly? So that's the type of stuff like where my antennas are up when the focus is on materialistic things, or you know, what you have or what you do or who you know. I mean, there are some people we we know, we have mutual friends or mutual acquaintances that they come in the room and like, yeah, I was with Bobby Brown the other night and then Al Sharpton called me, and then all Sharpton didn't call

you and they don't know you. And then I was I was at a restaurant and Hillary Clinton walked over and was like, I think I met you before. Like it's like girl styles. Stop. Were not impressed. We're actually turned off if it comes up in casual conversation, right, you know. Like, So I don't want people to think like, oh my god, well I can't share anything about my life. But it's a certain way to do it. I have to make an admission. I don't like talking about anything deep, okay,

or anything spiritual. Okay, I just don't. I noticed real bad. That's not a surprise to me. It's not surprise to Robbing or anyone else that knows me. I don't have no deep conversation. And people probably think you do because you're like a preacher's wife. They probably think like you sit around and just have deep thoughts. Yeah. No, I'm not sitting around reciting gospel hymns. Okay, I'm not doing that. And I'm just I don't want anything that's like I

have to like really super think about it. So talk to me only if I just met you about surface things, okay. So um so so word to anyone that meets just wants to be her friend, Surfer her about the weather, talk to her about her favorite place to vacation, and restaurants, her favorite design, my shoes, talking about my shoes, my airrings, favorite restaurant, and and I don't know what the last thing you watched on Netflix? Yes, the latest Netflix. Yeah,

that's it. If you talk about anything outside of that, I would have had to have known you for a very long time. Well, so there's levels two girlfriends, friendships, there's levels, yes, But I feel like, what about business? What if there's a woman that an entrepreneur and you know, you wanna you all kind of just start talking about what you do and I like that. Okay, you like that. I like that, But you can't lie. No, no, no, we're not lying. We're not bragging. No line, no bragging. Okay,

all right, So I like that. So if you're coming to me and we just met and we're bonding over business, um, the best way to you know, start up a business being an entrepreneur being the pitfalls of being a black woman in this in this world call I mean this thing called life. Stay stay tuned for that episode that's coming. Yes, that's that's coming out. I love that okay, because I always want to see black women win. But the minute you get deep with it and start talk about I was,

I was, what if she's like and God told me that. No, the minute you get deep, but I'm out, I'm tuned out. I have tuned the freak out. I am. I'm not listen. That's the reason why she's a multimillionaire, because she told her to do to open that business. Okay, fine, I'll listen then, all right, but you can't. There's again, there's levels to girlfriend friendship. Level number one talk about nothing, okay. Level number two you can get throw some business in. Okay,

But you know what I do? You hate? I hate when I go to a I mean, it doesn't happen that much anymore because now we're on TV and people recognize this. But in the past, people go to like the social events and you're just meeting random people and the very very very first question out of their mouth is what do you do? So what do you do for a living? I say nothing. I stit on the couch. Me too. I'd be like, well, I thank you for asking,

but I am a stay at home woman. I just find it very pretentious when people come and they ask that kind because they want you to ask them what they do because they're like, you know, a high power, they're like a partner at a law firm, and they would like tell you that. Like, I just hate that question, and maybe I hate it because like I never I didn't really have something I wanted to talk because Robin

was actually at at home on that. Yeah, Like if I was like a surgeon, I'd be like, yes, I am a brain surgeon, and I'd be like thank you for asking, right, right, Okay, So there's always I find like in a group of girlfriends that's this girlfriends that you're have in different categories, right for sure? So this girlfriends that you want to hang out with and have drinks with. So are are their friends that you like

them better when they're drunk? Right? Like there's some friends that they're they're non drunk self, I can't stand, but when they're drunk, Oh they're amazing, right right, that's not good though, it's not good at all. But I only want to be around you when you're drunk. So then do you like push drinks towards their way? And I only want to be around you if drinks are being

served so, so then that's a surface friend. Okay, yes, right, yes, that's that's a surface friend, like you have no desire to talk to that person on the phone or to hear about what they're going through or you know, to talk about what you're you know, right, No, so, and and there's a friend that we both know, and she doesn't want to drink anymore, right, and she I don't want to be around her like when she was drinking, Oh, she was the life of the party. She was the

best woman in the room. But now that she doesn't want to drink anymore, I don't want to see her, I know. But then you have to worry about people like that, like what's going on in their real life that they can't be fun and enjoyable when they're not drinking. But see, that's not this is like this is girlfriends. I'm not married to you. That's not my problem, Like I'm not you know what I'm saying. We just friends, like you know, you gotta you gotta worry about your

own problems on your own time. Yes, she did the worst friend. Yeah, she's a surface friend. Yes I am the worst. Now then you have I have some friends where I'm like, please don't get drunk. Why Because it's like because then they become the one that's like, oh my god, I'm so upset. My life is so crazy, like like they become emotional then and then they ruin your drunkenness like they ruin your they blow the high, your high, you know, and it's like, oh, good, what

are you doing? Okay that whoever that is in your life, she's not going out with us. I don't want her around because I don't want no crying drunks at the club. That's crazy. Okay, I'm so horrible, right, So yeah, that's like, but that's that can be like your real good friend in real life, and then put some drinks up in her and she's just like a Debbie Downer right right? Und Now, do you feel like girlfriends tell you that truth as it relates to their their whole factor, right,

their their whole meter, right, Because that's really important. And the reason why it's important is because if her whole meter is off the charts, she's gonna sleep with your man, no question. So it's always like when she starts talking about stuff she's doing, it's like I'm side eyeing her because at any given moment, she's going to try to sleep with the dude I'm right now, especially if she

said her boyfriend was married. I'm always feeling like we might try to sleep with I'm not married, but she just you have no roles, you have no boundaries. I need roles. Well, okay, So the question is, so you meet a new friend, do you ask them what their whole meter is? No, you just listen when okay, you just listen to the things she starts saying, probing questions you asked, um, yes you know, hey girl, you know you're married? No, who you're saying all? I'm saying so

a so. But but then this is another question that goes along with that. So, if you are in a relationship, or if you're married in a relationship, do you even want to invite new friends around that are single? You know? Or do you want most of your new friends to be in a relationship? M you know the plot picking I think I think that yes, if I was married, I would want my new girlfriends to also be married

or in a like significant relationship. I don't want no straggly single girls just around, right, because then that doesn't even work. So it's like, oh, all right, honey, you're talking to your man. All right, honey, I'm about to go out with Tracy. Who's Tracy? Oh? Tracy? Tracy is my friendly can I played the part of one who's Tracy? I never heard no Tracy. Well I just met Tracy. We were at the mall and I bumped into her and we were shot being and like, she just wants

to hang out and where y'all going. We're just gonna get some drinks. M hmm. What time you coming back? I mean, I don't know. It will be out like a couple of hours. Maybe it's Tracy. What's so she married? What's up with um? I don't think Yeah. No, Now, Wine is not going to say no, but he is going to be He's going to ask fifty questions and call me fifty times. Yeah, he's going. Okay. Just for those of y'all don't know why Dixon Wine calls Robbing

a thousand times a day. Like we've been sitting here doing this podcast. Now we're all minute twenty two. He's called four times. Okay, I'm lying, But Whine calls Robin. Now if one thanks, Robin is out doing something she's supposed to be doing that puts some calls. Repeat, Okay, Dixon and Win is the type of guy do you think someone on the side of the road and now he doesn't? Why? Is the type of guy that if you don't answer, he keeps calling back and heeps calling

back and do you ain't what I call my friends? Yes? Yes, And then he will call anybody that she said she was with. Okay, that's just one. That's the nature of their relationship. No judgment. It's crazy, but no judgment. He's just worried. Okay, the man at the gas station kidnapped me. Okay. But I I totally agree. I feel like girlfriends that are not that don't have the same demographic that you

are living should not come into your circle. I mean, I just think that that's you're you're setting yourself up for problems, right, I agree, unless you have like mutual friends that can vouch for that person. You know, I just feel like not a random that it's totally living the single whole life. No, that's not gonna work, Like, no at all, No, not at all. Um and and it so so we're saying all this to say, it becomes very difficult for you to really a trust people

that are going to be in your circle. UM, I don't think that, you know, I get real nervous about what people. You know, if I have a conversation with somebody, like how they take that conversation later, Like how that convers you know what I mean, Like, M I think it's a great conversation, but they walk away and they're like, Gezell's an asshole, And I'm like, but I thought it was good. I thought we had jokes and everything. So, you know, I always get feel weird about it sometimes.

But but the reality of it is you have to really have your spotty senses up with all people, not just girlfriends, but like all people, because people are crazy out here in the streets. I'm trying to remember the last time I met a new friend and like outside of the show, you know, not because of the show, um, that I connected with and like really developed a friendship with. Um. You know what I would say, like, Um, Vicky Vicky Irvin, who is I met her on a business matter? Yes,

and that kind of you know, created a friendship. Yes, And Vicky Irvin, you did your um lipstick with correct? Okay, so we had so so I did a lipstick lip lost collaboration with her. So she's an entrepreneur. Um, my real estate mentor introduced me to her because he thought that she could be helpful to me because he knew that I was just you know, getting into the entrepreneurial space, and so so that friendship developed. Um, but it was it started more. It's I feel like nowadays at our age,

when we meet people it's because of a purpose. Yeah, yeah, it's it's it's got to be. You guys have to be aligned in some kind of way. So so if it's not business, it might be because you said my kids, because kids or your partners might know each other, and then you guys bond over that. Um. Otherwise it's just like I'm not going and getting my hair done and I meet you at the salon and we become friends.

That's not happening. No, No, definitely. In it's it's like kind of weird when people are like, oh, we should exchange numbers and you're like, no, we shouldn't. Why we should not, because first of all, I'm already not the best friend that I can be to the friends that I already have, you know, because I'm just kidding. Rob is great to me probably these days get most of my friend time. That's very much. Other friends are probably hating on you, I know. But actually that happened to

me in the gym, so very nice. Um lady girl. She walked up to me and she started asking me. She she saw that my house is being renovated, and she asked me about it, and then she talked about the fact that she's got she knows somebody who you know, has a renovation business or something. And then she was like, Oh, you're so super cool. We should hang out. Let's exchange numbers. Yeah, no,

I'm not that superb. I'm not. And I and she made me give her my number, Like it was kind of like her phone was out and I had my phone in my hand, and like I didn't know what to do. I couldn't back away, so I had to give her my number. And it was just like so weird. And I thought to myself, Oh my god, I hope she hasn't called me. Did she know? Thank God? But but but when things like that happen, it just makes me feel like this is not authentic. I want to

meet girlfriends and it's an authentic relationship, you know. It's a great feeling right. It's not like pushed on you exactly. Yeah yeah, yeah, Um, digital interaction? What the hell is that? Social media? Okay? So I'm supposed to meet people on social media? Okay, for the record, let's just say, for the record, I feel like I have enough girlfriends in my life. Do you oh I have tons? Yes? I have tons? Yes? Okay, But so you are you asking

if on social media somebody reaches out? So okay, So say on social media you have like acquaintances kind of in they're trying. It's like does that muddy your your real your interaction with them in real life? So you have people who I think, um are more friendly on social media than they are in real life. Like they might see you come afar and like not speak, and then on social media they're all like, hey girl, how would you know? Um, you just know, I don't know.

I feel like that's like people not being comfortable, you know, like you like, okay, if you see someone who's commenting on your social media, but when you see them in real life, they're barely like coming up to you and saying hi. Okay, So there's social media friends, right right, But then but they're like almost intimidated in real life to come up to you. Yeah, that's that's weird. So it's kind of like you're hiding behind your social media handle. Yeah,

that's I find that to be a stalker exactly. Yeah, I mean it's I just think it's more of like maybe they are socially awkward or maybe they're intimidated. But I have experienced that where people will interact with me more on social media than if they were actually face to face. Right, Okay, Okay, So I do have some girlfriends and unfortunately they're like sorority sisters, right, and unfortunately

there sororities. Well there was a reason. I mean, I love the fact that they're my sorority sisters, but like that's the reason why they've been in my life forever. Right. But then as time goes by, you know, as you get older, you change, you grow, and you see people who don't change and grow, and then you realize they're losers. Right is that terrible to say? Like they're kind of

like they're stuck. They're stuck. They're stuck, they haven't grown, they haven't evolved, and you're at a totally different place. So how do you deal with do you do you cut those people out of your life. Don't listen to me because I cut people like I got I got a machete, I here, and I'd just be cut. No, you know why you don't cut them out because guess what, one day you might be in a totally different places. Yes, and you might need your friends to love you unconditionally. Right.

So I have you know, my sore roars that I love dearly that I probably would never have have even met if I weren't in the sority, you know, so I would would have never really been friends with them, and we are totally different people. I mean, the sority is a good thing because it kind of forces you to receive people where they are, to love them regardless, and to kind of be their friend regardless like whether or not you would be their friend or not outside

of the sorority. And so I think it's you know, you can't be like you didn't level up yet, girls, So I'm not going to be your friends. Not you didn't level up. But it's kind of like the the the we're in a different space mentally, right, Okay, So I'm just gonna say to the people, if you want to cut people out your life. Because God brings people in your life for a reason in the season, then go ahead on and do it. I'm not mad at you, I mean but reasonable, Robin. Just don't be mad when

other people cut you out of their life. Okay, listen, I've been begging people to cut me out there life. Please? Can I have it at writing? Right? Are you sure? Yes? Oh my God, leave me alone. But but I do feel like, you know, there comes a time and place where you want people that can add value, right, and you want you want to be you want to surround yourself with people that are constantly allowing you to be your greater self. And and sometimes the girlfriends can't come

on that journey. But but why is it just because so so you're saying mentally they're like they're negative or they are because just because they might not be on your level, they might still be able to provide some sort of support to you or some sort of encouragement or you know, friendship. Right, Yes, yes, that's true. And sometimes you want to keep that friend who was there with you before you are you were the person you

are today. Okay, but if but if we've known each other for like twenty five years and you're still talking about the same ship that you were talking about when I met you five years ago, then there's a problem. Yeah, well that's a big problem, right, Like if I if I feel like and it's not that I've leveled up and you stayed the same, it's like mentally we're just not there, right. So have you said that to them? No? I thought, don't that. I think that's rude. If I

tell people you are a loser, We'll see. That's a conversation like what is okay to say to your friends and what's not okay to say to your friends, because sometimes your friends need to hear the hard truth and if they don't receive it the way you intended, then that's on them. That is very true. And to be honest with you, I am very honest with my friends, I think. And do they appreciate your honesty? Hell? Nodate me know I'm getting I think they do. You want

to know why? Because I have so many friends that I've had forever and they tell me things that I've said to them ten fifteen years later that helped them in that moment that I didn't know help them. But they tell me, hey, I remember you said this to me a long time ago, and then I broke up with that loser dude and I found this other guy or whatever, whatever the scenario is. They repeat to me verbatim what I said to them, and so, um, oh did I tell you I was an oracle? I this

is what I know. I'm going off the deep end. Okay, fine, but now I do. I'm getting deep and y'all know I don't get deep. Um, but I need to get back to that. I need to get back to just like being brutally honest with people when I know you can do better and be a better person. Right. Oh, for sure, I think especially as you get older. Um, it's not you're not helping your friend at off. You

can't be honest with your friend. Yes, if you can't encourage them to, you know, drop the negativity, the toxicity and to do better. And if your friend does not want to receive those messages, then yeah, maybe it's time to drop them as a friend because you can't. You don't know how to be a good friend to someone that doesn't want to receive your friendship, right Um? And I think this is friendship is not always about being a yes person. It's not about always agreeing with your friends,

liking what they do. Um. You know, of course we want to celebrate our friends and support our friends. But if there's something that we can you know, what is it constructive criticism? If we can constructively criticize our friends. I know I want to be constructively criticized. You know, I don't. I don't receive it very often because I

am quite perfect. Okay, all right, okay, So and this is this is actually from me and you, um, because you know we've been friends and we we have we're in this group, this circle, um, you know, we'll just referred to of the show. And a lot of times, um, they think that we know things about each other that therefore that that the world doesn't know. Therefore that's why we're friends, because we we got dirt on each other, right,

which is true, But that's not why we're friends. Meaning I know stuff about Robin that I'll never say, and vice versa. But that's what friendship is. But the question is when you meet somebody new, like how quickly do you tell them like your business, your business, your personal business, because that's a trust thing, right, you gotta trust that person because you gotta know you're telling them and they might tell one other person, but they can't tell the world.

I don't That is so hard because I feel like, for me, I'm not going to tell you anything until you tell me something, and so then it becomes like what comes first, the chicken or the egg? Yes, and I know you ain't telling me that, Like I don't even know how. I think it takes a minute, but like a very long time for people to really start sharing unless you're a really open person and you don't care. But I don't know. I mean, I'm not I I always find that people spill their guts to me. I

do not know why, um, but they do. And then she tells me everyone and then I did tell Robin. But I mean, they spill their guts, and I think maybe they feel like that is their way to to build trust. And then maybe they're thinking, I'm gonna spell my guts. But I'm done you right now. I don't care when I meet you, how I meet you. I'm never spelling my guts. Um. But I feel like it's it's very difficult for for women to feel a sense

of comfort. So because you do want to have somebody that you can share a bunch of stuff with and that is going to support you and not judge you, and that's in your corner. So it's just a it's just a very fine line and and I have I haven't been able to balance it or figure it out right. I don't think there's a real right time. You know, it's not like, oh well, exactly on the day after meeting the friend, now it's okay to share. You know.

I think it's more of an intuition thing. I think it's more of just, you know, the vibe between the two people where you feel, okay, this person knows me or cares about me differently or more than someone else. Like it's so weird, like you can't really explain why certain people are closer friends than others. You know, you can have a friend circle of eight or ten people and there might be that one or two people that you just vibe better with for whatever reason, for whatever reason.

Maybe it's it's it's pheromones, it's just you know, campus it's whatever it is. We right, what is it? What is it? I don't know. I don't know, um, but I just want to put out there because you know, I'm thinking about my girlfriends and and just relationships. And I'm the girl that if I see your man cheating, I'm gonna tell you, okay, and I'm going to get my phone and video, but see and pictures. I feel like you have to if you're going to tell her,

you gotta have the pictures in the video. Yes, and I'm gonna let you know. And I don't want to discuss it. Yes, because there's there. I'm there are many, many, many situations where a girlfriend sees something or hear something and then she tells the friend and the man lies and oh no, that didn't happen. She lying, she's lying you you don't need to be friends with her anymore, and then you're the one, the messenger that's on the Okay. Yes, So I feel like it's hard. I think it's on

the relationship. Depends on the relationship. But if that's your good girlfriend, I think it's your right to let her know what's going on. So then do you think friends should when they kind of start their friendship or at some point in their friendship say look, girl, I'm just telling you, if you hear some then or see something about my man, then tell me, like, do you think that should be a spoken that should that be spoken?

Do you think it should be like, all right, let's everybody sit down in the circle and okay, robbing, do you want to know? Okay? Do you want to know? Okay, Susie, do you want to know? You know what I mean? And it's like some people don't want to know. Let's write it down. We're gonna take notes so that we know. And so then when so when something happens, all you know, ten girls in the group and the nine girls get on a conference call, are y'all? So? Um, Stephanie says

she wants to know. So who's going to tell her what I'm saying? Like I was, I'm almost considering like texting my girlfriends and saying, hey, guys, we need to like sit down because they're gonna be like, oh, are you talking about my man? You talk my momn Hey my man? They came home every night. I know he ain't doing it, but I think that should be disclosed.

I actually think that should be like a girlfriend rule because I have had and I'll say like in college, um one I was I was pledging Delton, I was never around and wand cheated on me. Oh with a girl at Maryland and right, I can't breaking news. One cheated on me when when we were in college and one of so after I crossed, one of my line sisters found out and it was a whole like, you know, I didn't know that they my out of the ten of us, nine of my line sisters are having these

power owls about what do we do? What do we say? You know what I mean? And then and it turned into a whole mess because I just needed my one line sister to come to me and tell me. But then it just turned into it was a mess in my relationship with that one line sister was kind of messed up for a little bit and blah blah blah blah blah, all that that's why, that's why. But you pledged Delta, that's a whole another story. But anyway, I mean, no,

like that's a mess. And the reason why it's a mesters because you know they're sitting around talking about you for days. But so I feel like if you just if everyone just puts it out there in the air, you know, to your girlfriend's, to your friend's circle, and say, look, this is what it is, so we don't have to we can skip that part you know, so tell me or don't tell me. It's truck about it. That's true, act like you ain't never seen it. Yes, I don't

need to know. Okay, well I'm telling you now, So text message, text message your girlfriend group tonight, y'all and make that decision. Do you want to know? Check the boxes? And I think that's a good takeaway for everyone listening, Like, I think that's a good that's actually like a good conversation to have, like when you have your girls night and you're drinking wine and and so let's put that

topic out there. Yes, do you want to know? All right? So, typically at the end of our episode, we have our reasonably shady people are the week for that episode, but today we have some changes. Okay. So we have put out to the universe, um, some friendship pet peeves we put out there on our social media and you all have answered yes and a very big way. Okay, So friendship pet peeves is what we're going to be discussing

on right now. So we're we are going to go into let's see, I'm going to tell you the number of people that said one uppers what Okay, So okay, let's let's talk ab Okay, what what opers is? Hey, girl, I just bought a new car. And then you say, oh my god, well I'm getting a new car tomorrow, and it's going to have I get a new car tomorrow, and it is like the Bentley of the Bentley's. Yes,

I'm the only one that has it. Yes, they only made two in the United States and I have one and Oprah has the other one, like crazy, or like you buy a house and then your friends like, well, I'm gonna go buy a house and yes, how many square feet is your house? Minus four thousands? Oh? Mineus five thousand? Girls like that, like that's some bullshit and stop it right, like save it. The thing is like

your friend. Whenever your friend has some news, like celebrate your friend in that moment, make it about your friend, let them have their moment, and then okay, a week later, if the conversation arises on the same topic, then you can share your news. But like, let your friend have their moment, yes, and stop talking about yourself. They end, which you know leads to a lot of people said, um selfishness, okay, so what does that mean? And not

reciprocating support. So some friends call you when they have something going on that they either want to, you know, talk about or tell you about. And then when the conversation, when that conversation about themselves ends, what a conversation is over. And it's like, right, they don't they don't care about what's going on in your world. They don't hear about you know, I might be a victim of this. And

I'm gonna tell you why. Everybody knows. I have a friend named Cal, and every night me and Cal talk and he says, okay, Ages, I'll start talking about you. That's how he starts the conversation. And I'm like, it's like, hello, hey, hey, al right, start talking about you. Just out just and I'm like, cow, no, stop, Like I want to know about your day. He's like, the day was good. Okay, oh it's it's actually funny now. But it made me think like, okay, do I just give him like my

side of my world? And do I never check in with his? And probably? So I am happy that he made me aware so that I don't do that anymore. Yes, that's good. Another one in this I am so a lot of these. I'm starting to reevaluate myself as a friend because I'm starting to think I'm a horrible friend. Um because people said friends that are late, friends that are late, friends that are flakey, Robin Robin can I can I tell you like my flake meter is off,

off the charts, off the chart. I literally one time I had it was going to Las Vegas to celebrate a friend's birthday. Huh like New Year's Eve, Las Vegas. I didn't feel like packing, so I didn't go. Did you have a ticket? Yes, I did a ticket. Hotel room I pay. Here's here's my portion for the hotel room I'll get you know all that. I'm like, I don't feel like packing. I'm not going. Rob is the worst, worst, the worst. You have to do better. You have to

do better, but at least you pay. Because my pet peeve is my friends that don't want to pay for that. All right, y'all bitches are broke, okay, and I'm mad at it, and Gazelle ain't gonna continue to pay. See that's the thing. I will. I will pay just so we can eliminate that grape. Like, okay, you know what I'm saying, Like, I don't need you to be mad because I flaked and I didn't pay, you know, so let me just uh yeah, let me let me pay for your love. Yeah. No, I'm not that. I'm sick

of it. Okay, I'm sick of it. So guess what. Anybody who does not contribute from here on out, y'all not my friends, A nomore relationship is over? Oh yeah for sure? Um another one guilty not texting back? Like what you mean you don't give a thumbs up or smiley face, or you don't text back at all sometimes because you know why, that's horrible. I need iPhone to

hear me. Listen to me, iPhone, I Apple, I need you to please give us the feature of marking our text messages as unread because sometimes I'm driving or I'm doing something and I can't respond right away, and I just want to mark my text message unread. But because I don't have the ability to do that. Yes, there's a there's a dot. No you can't market At the top it says how many you Okay, alright, go ahead, So it's like once you look at it, it's like

either respond now or forever hold your peace. Okay. And I have a problem with a little scatter brained, a little little yeah, a little I'm a little scatter brained and distracted. I get distracted very easily, and so like you know, I might open my phone and then like be like, oh let me, let me text Nicole back. And then I opened Instagram and just start Then I started scrolling and then I forget why I opened my phone. Yes, okay, I do do that too, but then you have to lie.

I do try to like, yeah, robb me, you're the worst. So do you go back to your text messages and like go through them and say, okay, who do I need to reply to? Yeah? Am I am? I all good on my text messages. At some point in the day, I try to go through and make sure like the top text messages I've even responded to, or I've checked to make sure that I've responded to, or whatever the case means. So how many unread text messages do you have? So so right now I have none because that drives

me insane. So I have um and we're gonna look, okay, okay, I'm gonna pull my little phone. I have three Okay, so I have to to five and what yes, I have twenty five? Or I'm gonna delete this one because that's like a alert and you. You can actually you can only see three on my screen, so that means the rest are like, so, Robin, I see this, this,

this one, Oh my god, April three. Okay, So for the record, okay, so sometimes I'll text you right and you won't respond, and so I'm assuming you are on the phone or something like you're doing something else, like you're talking on the phone possibly or whatever. But I thought you were really doing something. I didn't know you were just ignoring me. This is a new level to our friends. I wouldn't call it ignoring sometimes. Okay, some some of these people I ignored that do better, Robin,

just do better, just do better. But it's not that I didn't ignore them on I don't know what it is like. I literally might sit on the couch and be like, oh, I need to respond, and then and then she starts watching the view the end. Someone out there relates. I know that. And then you know why I know someone out there relates because I had so many people on Instagram respond that their pet peeves when their friend does not text them back. Yes, okay, okay,

so friends, can I tell you the story? Can I tell you another story? And we have to wrap it up. I had a friend that texted me and I didn't respond, and then she text me again and I didn't respond. It text me. It wasn't that I wasn't like I wasn't ignoring her. I was just busy, right, and then she started like going crazy and like calling, calling, calling and calling one and so then it turns into like, Okay, I'm now I'm purposely not responding rob It is a

four year old child, and she's rebelling. Okay, she's rebelling against her friend that just wants to talk to, just wants to make sure I'm going, Oh my gosh, so um. Yeah, one of the things that's adults. One of the pet peeves adults acting like petty teens. Yes, and that would be Robin Dixon. Okay, but she's good. I'm so happy that we had this episode today because we've been able to pick apart why Robin needs to do better? What about you? I need to do better too. I don't.

I don't get deep. I don't. I just I just want to know what the weather is. Your list is a little longer than my, okay, but I mean mine are like fixable. Okay. Anyway, I believe that is our episode for today. We are reasonably Shady, and I think I think today you might be shady. Robin. I might be told a little bit too much my friends. Yes, and I think Giselle might be reasonable Hold no, oh my gosh. Right, but we so appreciate you all listening.

I think that our next episode, we don't know what our next episode is going to be, but I do believe we might have a guest, so you guys have to stay tuned. Thank you so much for listening to us. This is Reasonably Shady. I am Giselle Bryants and I am Robin Dixon. Hey, we're out. We love y'all. Reasonably Shady is a production of the Black Affect podcast Network.

For more podcasts from our Heart Radio, visit the I Heart Radio app, Apple podcast, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows, and you can connect with us on social media at Robin Dixonton, Giselle Briant, and Reasonably Shady.