| Ep 45 | Sorry, Not Sorry!

ratings on TV. Okay, y'all listen whenever. Okay, love it? Yes, thank you for being here. And we actually y'all can't see us right now, but we're like in a news studio. And when I say new studio in a different room in Robin's house, we're actually wait, we're back to the original room. Yes, in my house. Yes, but it looks amazing. It's different, totally different. So now we're like sitting on a sofa. We really feel like we're like girlfriends chit

chatting in our living room. All we needed some wine or something I can make that happen. No, no, no, I want to be sober as all my shade comes like totally through me when I'm sober. That's wow, that's impressive because most people their shade comes out when they're drunk. I know. But but and that's impressive. I know. When you're drunk, what what comes out of you? Nonsense, just nonsense at making no sense to nobody. But anyway, we digress. We have two couple of things, A couple of things.

First and foremost people on Wednesday today it's Monday, if you're listening on Monday. But on Wednesday, May eighteenth, we have a live show. And this is like, this is actually very exciting because we've never done a live show. We're gonna be up close and personal with whoever's in the room. We might kiss you maybe okay, no kissing COVID okay, but we're gonna give you some hugs, we're gonna take pictures, we're gonna do our podcast, and we

want you guys to be involved in the podcast. Yes, exactly. So the podcast is in if you're downloading this on Monday, May sixteenth, the podcast is in two days. If you're downloading this on like Thursday, May nine, you missed it. You missed a good old time but since you're here with us on Monday, we are reminding you please join us for our live show we are having. We are going to have an amazing time. We are going to be up, closed and personal. You're going to have an

opportunity to participate with us. And we have a DJ. It's gonna be like a dance party. Oh yes, we have a DJ. We have special guest. It's gonna be a great time. So um, let me remind you of the website reasonably shady live dot event bright dot com, so hurry on over there and get your tickets. Okay, So, guys, we love when y'all give us great reviews. Apple loves it, Spotify loves this. They now have a five star ranking system, so like, continue to give us great reviews. We're actually

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Yank you. Okay, So, reasonably shady moment of the week. Okay, and I'll go first because you know Robin always has things with this, so I will go first. So, okay, guys, Mother's Day just passed and I can't figure out if the reasonably shady person was me or the person I'm getting ready tell you all about. Okay. So you know, my my baby daddy, Jamal Bryant, flew in it down to take me and my three to dinner. Okay, So it gets off the plane, he meets us at the

restaurant I made a reservation. Me and my kids go down to the to the restaurant. We're sitting in the booth to booths like a semi circle. So I'm in. I'm like two people deep in the booth. Okay, on both sides, so we really I'm all excited because you know, I'm greedy and hungry and I'm ready to eat. I don't really don't want to say that name. I went to RPM. Okay, Okay, so out of nowhere, this woman walks up and she's like, Hi, Oh my gosh, so nice to see you. Can I take a picture? And

I immediately and guys, I've never done this. I have never done this. Immediately, I was like, I looked up and I said, nope, Oh you said it like that. I said it just like dad. I was like, nope. She looks at me kind of like sho. I know. It was horrible. I mean it was so but I was like, first of all, some mother's day. Second of all, I'm here with my kids. I'm two people deep on both sides in this booth. Everybody would have to move in order for me to get out and take a

picture of this woman. Okay, So all of that was going on in my mind. Did you tell her, well, if you buy a ticket to the show. And I've never said no like that, Like I've always been like, not right now, but I'll come up to your table when I'm done. I just was like nope, and then she like your kids mortified. They were like they kind of were like, holy crap, but they just say anything because it's my day, right and I want all the

attention on me. So she turns around, she leaves, and I looked at Jamal and I'm like, Jamal, was that horrible? He was like yeah, and he said, but you know what, you weren't wrong, like you know, at some point you you're human, And so the shady person really was me? Or was it that lady? Okay, it was both. It

was both. If you didn't respond the way you responded, then it would just be her, right, because yes, like most a lot of people will try to wait until like if they see us in a restaurant, they'll try to wait until we're done eating and they see us like get up and we're on our way out or something like that. Um. I have had people come up and say, I'm so sorry to bother you while you're eating. Yeah, but then it's like, but you're bothering But if I

was at the end of the booth. Yeah, but I'm like, no, I'm not doing this. I'm not doing this to my family. I'm not making them get up. But but you could have just been like, I'm so sorry, Like right, it's not a good time right now. You know, I had a moment. So I want to apologize to the lady first and foremost, because I know she went back to her table and said I was the worst person on earth. So I'm apologizing to her right now, lady, and rpm

on Mother's Day. Um, she's probably told everyone on Facebook that that I'm horrible, right, and I'm not that person. But I just was like it just she just caught me on that day, so I was shady, I'm sorry, but please just like if somebody's in the booth, just leave him alone so they get out the damn booth. Yeah, or just wait. I mean maybe she was like almost finished her meal and she was like about to go, so she couldn't like sit around and wait for you

to write. And then it's just right she left before I did because your mom was like We're gonna fix it. We gotta fix this, we gotta fix it. He was like we're gonna go over there before she leaves. Yeah, okay, let's go back. So you said nope, and she just like turned around and walked away. She was like okay and turned around and walked away. And I everything in me was I was angry because she I felt like annoyed.

I was annoyed. I felt like, for the rest of the time I'm sitting there like trying to enjoy my family, I'm mad at myself that I did that to her. So I like Mother's Day was ruined. Oh, because I'm like in my head like she's trashing me. I didn't really mean to say nope like that, but I just didn't want to, Like it was just too much. Yeah, I mean, you know what, You're human, though, and I think at some point it is I think you're like, Okay,

it's Mother's Day. I'm in the middle of the booth, I'm at a restaurant, like, you know, just like cut me some slash. You're human. But I can see where it's like you're kind of like, oh, ship, that was that was a little that was horrible. I'm sorry, lady.

That was shady. I'm sorry. I honestly never turned down anyone with right, I never do either, And I know you don't like so I know that was like that was a human moment for you, yes, yes, yes, yeah, um okay, So since we're on Mother's Day, my reasonably shady moment goes to myself. I'm always giving them to myself. I'm like such a airhead, right, So so okay, yes, it's Mother's Day, and and I should be treated nicely on Mother's Day. But I also have a mother who

needs to be treated nicely on Mother's Day. And so you know, we had a busy week. I was, you know, very busy, very tired, but you know I mustered up the energy to make a reservation for me and my mom and my kids and Wane and my dad for Mother's Day. Right. This is like a big table, yeah, like six of us, right, and you know, a last minute six person reservation on Mother's Day. You gotta call in and say, I'm Robin Dixon, and I don't do that, Okay,

I don't do that. I don't do that. So I literally was on open table, like, who I sit a room for six people on Mother's Day? Rob Sometimes you got understand. Um. So anyway, so so I'm like yeah, alright, I got I crossed that off my list. I got that out the way. You know, we're gonna have good Mother's Day, blah blah blah whatever. Um, yes, Saturday. My calendar alert went off and it was like, your reservation sh is in one hour. And I was like, and Mother's Day every year is on Sundays. I just want

you all to know it's on Sunday, so yes, robbing you. After, I was like, oh my god, like, you've got to be kidding me. You have got to be kidding me. I called my mom. Yes, we're gonna be at the restaurant at three o'clock. We're good, but yeah, I have too pretty much car back and be like, um, sorry, I got no plans for your Mother's because literally there was like nothing, nothing available on Sunday that like I wanted to do, right, And I was just like she

was kind of like, well, I'm going to call. She called a few restaurants. I'm gone gone call. It's Mother's Day's crucial out here. You can't be getting a restonation. So then my father was like, Okay, well we just have to do it another day, and I'm like, yes, we'll do it. Another day, and he's like, but your mother said that never happens. That's true. Anytime you say, oh, we'll just do it another day, it never had never happened. I'm with your mom on this. So but but I'm

gonna it's not gonna happen this week. I'm telling you now, um to figure out another day maybe next week, because now it's like hard. It's like this is the season of graduations and like all this yeah probably just like all this other stuff going weddings or whatever, and I'm like, oh my god, when are we gonna have time to do this? Right? Okay? So I'm itching right now because I've got to make an announcement and it is a

public service announcement. And it is azel public service announcement. Okay, can't Gesell Bryant is not dating Peter Thomas. Okay, And I want to say it one more time, Gesell Bryant is not dating somebody call a Peter and Thomas. Okay. So you know, rumors are rumors, and you know, at this point I believe nothing that's on the Internet because I am now a victim of um a straight up like give me, give me a me and Peter were at a pool holding hands. Right there was like not

one pick. If there's a picture, a recent picture of you and Peter, I'm in it. You're in it, and it cut you out. Rom they cut you out to make the story so and and and I can't stand blog sites that are like Jazelle and Peter are dating, and then it's like this whole story at the end, it's like, Gazelle denies that she's dating Peter. Well, then why did you write this whole story like it's bad? Well they added that after you denied it, they wrote the story and then they added, you know, it's like

they edited. Okay, So I'm about to talk about the Jasmine brand right now because they if y'all don't know the Jasmine brand, they're a blog site out there is are they called blogs? It's a blog site. Okay. So the Jasmine brand asked me if I wanted to give a comment on me and Peter, and I said I absolutely do. We are not dating. So they're like, okay, great, we will say from an anonymous source that you're not Peter.

And I said no, said no, say my name, say my name anonymous sore So I said no, please say I said, I'm not dating Peter Thomas. What's hilarious? So a funny story. What's the prop Like, what's the point of that? I don't know, but I just was like, Jasmine brand y'all be in real shady right now. But whatever, So a funny story. Everybody knows Cal right, Cow's my guy, and um he last weekend was leaving Atlanta and he's walking into Clear. Do I tell you this? He's walking

into Clear and he runs into Peter Thomas. Of all people, Cow and Peter Thomas. What a coincidence. So Cow's introduces himself. He's like, Hi, you know, my name is Cal. I'm really good friends, which is now he was like. Peter was like, yeah, I know who you are. So um, Cal says okay. So then Peter's like yeah, so they're they're leaving because they've done their clear stuff and they're leaving in Peter looks at Cal and he's like, yeah,

tell my girlfriend, Giselle. I said, Hi, Okay, too soon, Peter, Too soon for Peter. Girlfriend. Giselle jokes, Okay the end, I've cleared it up. Oh my gosh, Okay, thank you. And you know what, it's always like Um, when when TMZ reports it, that's like kind of and you know it's true. But and I and I know that like TMZ attempted to reach out. Yes, they reached out to Peter.

I'm sure he told them. No, it's not true. So I feel like, like, when you're reading gossip and stuff, just check and see if TMZ has reported it yet. I know because TMZ typically I mean not typically, but don't they don't report things that aren't true. They reached out to Peter, they reached out to Bravo. They don't have my number, thank god. So you know, anyway, we we didn't shut down the room as I think. Okay, so something else happened that that zoomed by the world.

I feel like because I think no one cared the met gala, I know, well, was that because we were busy? I think we were born was underwhelming? I think it was underwhelming. Who was there? Um not Marilyn Monroe. Then listen, let me tell y'allself that Kim Kardashia. What did you two know she had on her? Let me tell you something. Okay, First of all, do you know the story like with

her hair? No? Okay, So when you think of Marilyn Morowe in that dress, right you you think of also like the blonde, which I love, by the way, like classic. So because Kim was wearing that dress, she was attempting to do that blonde bouffont. But if you look at her hair, she's wearing a slick, slick back blonde hair with all this like discoloration in it because her hair started falling out when they started bleaching. A minute, how do you know this, Robin, my hair inside her sources?

But look at her hair? Think about it? No, no no, think about it. Look did you say, my hair inside her sources? Okay, for the for the record, I never heard of that before. But that was good. That was good, Robert. But think about it. Look at like there's no way that that look that she was supposed to wear a straight bag. No, you know, it was supposed to be that blonde bouffon. I don't know why she didn't just put a wig on, but she literally colored her hair here.

Why would she do that? I don't know. I don't because she doesn't like wigs or something. She just wears like extensions and stuff. I don't know why for that she would not just just put on a blonde wig because her hair color it's jacked up forever. Yes, I mean I think they fixed it, but I think it was just like, uh, they were trying to do too much. They're trying to take her hair from black to blonde and too short of a time and squeeze it in. And then she's on the maccalan and I'm sorry, you

were just wearing a beaded dress at this point. You were not Marilyn Monroe, right, you were not. You missed them, You missed the ball, you missed the mark. And did you see how they had to open the back of the dress for her butt to squeeze it? Yes, and well she said, okay, so when they when she first shot on the dress, she couldn't fit it at all. And then she was like it, just give me time. I'm gonna lose weight. I'm gonna just have lemonade in

cayenne pepper. And so she lost the weight, but yeah, she still couldn't get her butt in it. And so I'm just shocked at these people who have been preserving this dress allowed her to open the dress up. At this point, I'm thinking she has to buy it. I don't know, does she does she give it back? I don't know. And then and then apparently she she changed into a replica after she got up the steps, after she took all the pictures, then she changed into a replica.

I don't know. That was like the biggest fail It was such a failure, butt. And let me tell you what was even a bigger failure her date. Okay, I know that's your boo, But like Pete what's his name, Pete Davidson in a tux looks terrible. And that's like any man in the tux looks good, right, any man in the tux looks good. I'm like, wait, does he look good at anything? Though? But he damn sure don't

look good in the tux. I'm thinking, you're dressed up, you're you're to the nines, and you still look goofy. I mean, hey, something else going on is making her very happy that you have already concluded that. As soon as I saw him and how horrible he looked in that tux, I was like, that penis is at his knee. It is so at his knees. It's not even like halfway his thought. His penis is at his knees. Good God, because you look crazy. For the record, I don't want

a penis that's at someone's knees. I want the let's talk about another penis. Can we talk about another? Oh? Yes, because because wait a minute, wait a minute, because like he's holding a green out mand penis talking about that. Okay, So Jesse Williams, how dare you whip your penis out and just stop the world? He stopped the world. I literally was like, Okay, I was on Instagram and I saw all these people talking about what was happening on Twitter, and I was like, I don't go on Twitter. I

was like, I can't go on Twitter. I don't Twitter the devil. So I texted my girlfriends and I was like, anybody want to do me a favor it send me to Jesse Williams. No, I had three girlfriends sent it to me. Blurred out. I said, what the hell was? Get this off my phone? Blurred out. I got to my own Twitter Twitter search. It took me. It took me. Yeah. I was so excited. I was like, this is a great night banded and he is he's representing Okay, yeah,

he's representing. Look. And then another couple of girlfriends was like he's single. Now, Giselle, she just shot. I'm like everybody in their grandmother's shooting their show right. But now but it's like, okay, now we know why the wife is a little cool, cool and just going and just divorce. She is. She is stringing this thing out. Yes, she don't want this divorce, but let me tell you, we're

gonna get her another big penis I think. So if you don't know what we're talking about, just google Jesse william Jesse will we'll tell you really quickly. So Jesse Williams is right now doing a Broadway play. They were in practice, like rehearsals, not practice rehearsals, and I thought there was an actual show. No, it was in rehearsals and somebody um captured his naked body because the show

in the in this Broadway show, they are nude. That's the whole not the whole show, right, but everybody's nude and something like the guys are nude. Yes, so um, there was a lot to look at that there. Yeah, oh yeah, we're buying a ticket. Ticket sales went up, so I think they kind of did this on purpose. Yeah, this is all about this is marketing. One on one show what you're gonna see when you get there, and I would need like a front row seat, Like I

don't want anyone's head in front of me blocking the penis. Okay, we gotta move on. We can't because we can talk about we have we have gentlemen listeners. They don't want

to hear that, do do they not? I mean whatever, Okay, I do want to get into because this is like timely, this whole overturning of Roe v. Wade, because it's this is like what the we can we take two steps forward and like twelve steps back, so you know, the Supreme Court, I don't think at this point, but by time y'all listen to this, we'll have made the vote and it will be a state by state um mandate as to whether or not abortions are legal in your

particular state. So I'm just zel, I have a uterus if I want to have a baby, and it's my business. It's not your right to decide what to do with that maybe in my uterus, And so I just feel like, tip for tap, let's take some balls. Yeah, why would we take the balls? Don't write there's gotta be a reason why we take the right. Yeah, what are we doing with Yeah, they have to have balls. Yes, let's take what I'm saying. I'm just saying. They didn't say

they what your uterus. They just want to control your uterus. So we need to control the ball. We need to control the sperm in the ball. Yes, yes, So how do we do that? How do we do that? I don't know. I don't If they get somebody pregnant that the then I can go, I can go extract, extraculate, extrapulate, take out, take out some sperm from the balls, and then do what with it? Throw it in the trash. I don't know. I don't know, I don't know. You know, Yeah,

but it's I mean, it's ridiculous. It is ridiculous that this is a topic. It really is, Like there are so many other things that we can focus on and pretty much taken away. People's rights to do what they want with their body is not one that we should focus on. You know, we're joking, but in all seriousness, it's like really because I feel like, if you have means, you're going to find a way to get your abortion.

But if you don't have means, so this like definitely singles out the poor because they're going to be either stuck with the baby they don't want, or they're just you're just gonna get your rights taken away. And that's just not fair. Yeah, it's not fair because who are we to judge, like what people's scenarios are, like what's going on in their life and whether or not they can have a baby or raise a child or you know, I don't know. It's just it's ridiculous. This is insane.

Are we are living in a crazy ass world? Even if you're raped and incests, you know, any any scenario across the board. It is going to be a state by state thing and most states are like we're not including those We're not including rape. No, so no, and I mean, okay, so this is something that we have to vote on or that were no lawmakers are deciding on. It's been decided No, no, no, so you said, but it's a state by state things. So then so it's been decided that the states have the power. Yes, the

states have the power. So do we need to vote, like we have an election coming up? Okay, yes, we need to make sure. So midterm elections are coming up, and we need to make sure that our rights are. These politicians have our rights in the front of their minds, like women's rights are first. But we're voting not for the actual like um, for the right to have an abortion. We're voting for to put the lawmakers in place who are going to create the laws. Yes, got it, Yes, yes, yes,

So we gotta do that, all right. So Robert and I took a trip recently and we were out here in these rates. Okay, we got on the airplane. By the way, I don't know about y'all, but I got on a plane and I'm gonna continue to put my mask on. Everybody else's mask free. Y'all can get code if you want to, but I'm gonna put my mask. YEAHL had her mask on. I was like, I'm so dumb with these masks. I couldn't do it. I put it on, and I was like, I can't do it, and I just I just kept it off, and I'm

COVID free. Yeah, okay, I think I am too, but my kids keep sneezing on me. But that's a whole another story. Okay, So I have come up with um random thoughts, random after trip after during our trip, after the whole thing. Okay. So random thought number one because I thought about my birthday because remember we all went to Miami for my birthday and it was a big girl's trip. Okay. So let's say you're the host of the trip or it's your birthday, that would make you

the host. Okay, and somebody in the group makes the host or the birthday girl very angry. Okay, the host can decide to put that bitch on a curb, right. I feel like the host has the ability to do what they want to do. If it's the birthday girl, if it's the host, do what you want. Okay. I think within reason in limits, I mean, like would it would like? Okay. So if you're on a trip, someone is hosting the meaning that they have paid for everything. Yes, right,

are they're paying for some things? They paid for some things, they pay for all your accommodations. Um, they organize the trip. Yes, Like we're looking to them to give us guidance on what we're doing our activities and stuff. Yes, we have a we have a full itinerary. Okay. So you're saying if the host doesn't like the way someone talks or looks back or something they do, they can be like beat you out of here. Really Well, No, I don't feel that way. It's you're right, it's within limits. It's

within limits. Okay. See, I think when you're when you're talking about see, most people when they travel, like everybody pitches in, you know. So it's kind of like when you're like Oprah and you pay for everything. I'm not on Opra status. I don't know when that's gonna happen.

So most people when you travel, everyone pitches in. And I feel like if there's some sort of like conflict, that maybe if that's a scenario where like the group talks about, you know, the best way to resolve the conflict, because you don't want that conflict to ruin your trip. You don't want whatever is happening between two people or three people or four people to just keep happening and and carry over. And if you ruin the trip, you

want to have a good trip. Kay. But in a situation where you know there is one host who is responsible for the whole trip, I mean it's a little it's a little sticky. It is sticky. It's very sticky, and I think it depends on the scenario. Okay, I have a question for you. So hotels are are houses? Hotel room or houses? I prefer hotels for sure, right because you want your individual space? Yes, yes, yeah, I prefer hotels. I just feel like I don't like sharing bathrooms.

I don't like I mean, okay, a house if there are enough bathroom, bathrooms and bedroom. But then this gets tricky. Okay, let's say you're on South Beach and you meet someone and you want to bring him back to your room. You're not gonna do that if you're in a house. If you're in a house, you know, so I think just we just need to get some hotel rooms today. Okay, so girls trips in houses? Band no more? Yeah, I

would choose not to. I mean unless the accommodations were just like superspacious, you know what I mean, Like you're not on top of each other, you're not having to like share space like yeah, but no, no, my first choice is a house or like a villa or something

where you have like your own private quarters, private entryway. Yeah. Yeah, okay, I like that now because then if you're on a trip and something goes wrong, like you don't really have to worry about like if you're in a hotel and you're on a trip and the host the hostess has an issue with one of the guests, like you don't really have to worry about what's going to happen to

that guest, just go back today, yeah exactly. Yeah, and we ain't invite right, and then you just don't get the memo of where dinner is, yes, because you need a time out. Yeah, you know. I I totally agree with doing group trips and giving people time out in space. I do too. I hate it when people are like, we have to do everything together and oh my gosh, you wouldn't did that and that was not on the schedule.

Like I hate that, unless it's something that's like variant, it's liken less are like, Okay, this is the one thing that I want everybody to do, right, But then after that it's like do you and I'm gonna do me. But it's it's like the scenario again. It's like, if I'm spending my money right to go on the trip, then yeah, I'm kind of do what I want, But if the hostess is spending her money, then I think we're kind of obligated to do whatever the hostess tells us to do. Okay, so like, how do you feel

about um? I'm very direct, like when something goes down and it's my fault, I apologize, right, And I know that there's different ways to apologize, but I normally just say, hey, I did boom boom boom boom. That was wrong for that,

and I hurt your feelings because I did that. I'm really sorry, But don't even say if I hurt your feelings, just say I'm sorry, right, I'm sorry because I shouldn't have done that, right, I just was you say, I understand how that hurt your feelings, right, I just was like really hungry that day or something like there's a reason, like I don't know why I did it, but I just did it. I don't understand how people don't know

how to apologize. I know, I know. And it's so funny because I feel like we come across this a lot in our daily lives, and they were talking about it on the reel recently and it was like every all the stuff that I'm like, yeah, no, when you say if you feel that I hurt you know that I'm sorry. That's why that's not an apology. So um okay, wait, So I mean I have you know, you know, I like my little Instagram post. So I did come across the post where it was like all these different like

instead of saying this, say that. Um, but I think apologizing is an art because it's not even an art. It's like it shouldn't be an art. Actually now it should just be communication. And so the question is like why don't people apologize, Like, is do they think that by apologizing and owning what they did, that that makes them weak or that means they lost the fight, or that means you know what, I mean, that they're not perfect,

but they were wrong. I mean, there's nothing wrong with being wrong or acknowledging that you were wrong, so all the above. So why is it that people have a hard time apologize because they're whack? Okay, they don't want to apologize because they feel like that's gonna make them look weak, that's gonna make them look like they're wrong and they're not perfect. And everybody wants to walk around acting like they're perfect. That's not perfect. Okay, I do

stuff wrong daily. I mean, yeah, we know, and you literally like for the most part, but for the record, is being shaped. Okay, that was shaw, but you know, like, for the most part, when someone does say like just out, I don't appreciate that you did this, or why did you do this? Or I can't believe you do this, you actually like in that moment, or like you know what, I'm sorry right, you don't like pushback, you don't fight, you don't like I don't care for three weeks. I'm

just like, yo, I'm sorry. I know we're not all the same. Okay, So tell me this. If you are so quick to apologize, then do you really mean it? Yes? And does that mean Okay, I apologize and I'm going to do something up again, and I'm just gonna apologize. I'm just gonna keep doing something up and I'm going to keep apologizing because I can apologize. Okay. So, Robin,

I don't have a crystal ball. I don't know what the future holds, okay, okay as to what I'm gonna do in the future, but I do know that everyone makes mistakes, okay, And yes, I mean my apologies when I say it, okay, and I say I really mean for I mean it. I wasn't giving example. I can't give you an example. But if I say I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Damn it. I mean, I'm just I just wonder how many I'm sorries people need to hear. I mean, I'm just you know, I just I'm just wondering. Okay,

do you have a list? Okay, so I want to go through, Like so so you know how to apologize the dudes and don't of how to apologize okay, because wait a minute, it's just for the record. An apologize when you when you apologize to somebody, I want it helps you. It helps them, but it helps you, that's true. Yeah, because you're released from the situation. Well you're released, but hopefully when you apologize, you're actually understanding why that person was hurt so that you don't do it again, you

know what I mean. Like it's it's one that's nothing. Don't just apologize me, like all right, I'm sorry and then like you really don't. You don't mean it either. You're just apologizing to shut the person up, Like that's I like to explain why I did my shady thing that I did, and I do that well yeah, okay, record, yes, yes, yes, that's hey, that's good. All right, So I'm gonna tell you all what is not considered a good apology or not really an apology, and we have some friends that

need to hear this. Hit his friends. I know a lot of people need to hear this. Okay, So I'm sorry you feel that way. I feel like that's like the number one Like I feel like when people say that I'm sorry you feel that way, that's like you really are having a hard time of taking ownership of what you did and acknowledging that you were wrong, flat out wrong right right? Yes? No, aunt, this one even worse. I'm sorry, but you're just being sensitive? What Okay, that's

just like people that say that. Guys used to be like, are you on your period? Is that why you're acting crazy? No, I'm acting crazy because you made me. That is actually a valid point for me, that's annalid point for robbing. But for gisl who doesn't have those issues, I'm like, no, I'm mad because I'm mad because you're an idiot. Kay. Another one, I'm sorry if you think I did something wrong? What right? Yeah, that's a waste of um what do

you call it? Words? Words, oxygen, all of that. I'm sorry, but it obviously was a joke. Okay, So I'm good at that. Okay, So Okay, just for the record, Okay, and I can actually I can bring this up because you know, I have a friend named Karen Huger, and there's a lot of times what I've been joking with her in the past and she didn't understand my humor. True, I get that. So but I feel like, okay, you

gotta it's how you structure the apology, right. So if it's like, so, if you were joking and someone was offended, the way you say it is, I was joking and I am so sorry that it offended you. Okay, I like, is that better? That's so batter, I gotta write that, you know, so, so I promise you it was a joke, but I understand that it hurt your feelings and I'm sorry. Okay, I like, right, I think anytime you say like, I'm sorry,

but it's the buttons. But for me, so you just have to like figure out how to like say things or even when it's like, you know, I'm probably guilty of thinking people are sensitive, right or too sensitive because I'm not very sensitive, So like that makes it actually makes you mad that people are too sensitive that people are it doesn't. I mean, it's just it's it is hard, I think for someone to navigate of like like, okay, well what can I what can I say? What can

I not say? What's want to offend this person? Because I'm not a sensitive person and they are. And if you don't tell me you're a sensitive person, like how am I supposed to know? Because they cry every five minutes and fold up napkins. So those people, those people, I really I'm sick of it. I'm sick of you crying every eighteen seconds. I don't want to see you crying. Like like now we're getting into like a whole another topic.

So it's like, okay, so if your friends are sensitive, do you just not be keep it real and be honest with them and like call them out on stuff. I'm I don't care to crabing five seconds. I'm going to tell you. Do you say to your friends listen, if we're gonna be friends, you're gonna have to understand that I am going to speak up when I feel you're being wrong, yes, or you know what I'm saying? Like,

so what is it? So it's like, do you keep the friendship or do you just say you know what, We're just not meant to be friends because you're sensitive. I'm blunt. Yes, it's not gonna work out. What do you do? So you just in the friendships because like for me, I think I'm gonna start counting if I see you cry too many times. We can't be friends because I don't. I don't. I don't shed tears like that. I think it's five five times and you're done and

you're just like like a mom or or you know what. Though, like we've talked about this before. Friends, you can have different types of friends. You can have surface friends, okay, right, criers are surface surface friends, yes, okay, okay. So it's like, so I think you have to talk to your friends about okay, like what level of friendship do you want? Do you want? You know what I'm saying, like we're

the worst? Do you no? But it's like it's it's it's real because I feel like I don't want to have to censor myself for certain friends because they're gonna be sensitive. And it's like but then on the flip side, like I want to be compassionate towards people's sensitivities, So like, how do we do this? Compassion is overrated? I'm just sitting all right, okay, let me go, let me continue on this list, Like all right, um, sorry, are you happy now? Oh? Hell no, hell no, I don't even

speak to me if you're gonna say that. But because I'm not happy, I feel like and I feel like I've kind of received an apology like that recently. It's like, yeah, I'm just gonna say sorry, so I can just in this conversation and move on, right, do you know what I mean? Instead of people like really flushing out what you did and why it was wrong, you know what I'm saying? Yeah, it's just like what and then another

one just sorry, followed by no reparations. So it's like you say sorry, but then what's the consequences of what of your actions? Is saying sorry? Just enough? No, you have to talk it through, Like what exactly are you apologizing for? You can't just give a blanket I'm sorry, y'all, Like that's no what you're sorry for? Right? But once you do that, so you say sorry, and then like, what happens to that friendship or what happens to that

that relationship? You know what I mean? Like, I guess it just really depends on on how that conversation goes because you can do something to hurt someone and they can say sorry, and you as an individual can decide that you're gonna let it go and you're gonna move forward, or you're going to say, you know what, I appreciate the apology, but we s there's that, and then there's if it's a bullshit apology, then no, we're not moving forward. So so let me tell you what an apology is

or what it exists. So an apology takes ownership of actions leading to hurt. I like that. I like that takes ownership an apology and of reparations or behavior change. What are we doing? So it's like something that is

like okay. So like maybe it's like okay, say you did something to publicly hurt someone, so you're you say sorry to that person, but then you also publicly, if you publicly trash me on Instagram, you need to publicly go back, and I mean to do that, I mean, I mean yeah, if that's if if that is what you require of an apology, then yeah, or behavior change. So it's like you know, if if I'm sorry that I'm late, um, then I'm not going to be late anymore.

You're never sorry. You're late, Robbie, you don't care that you're late. I think you get joy out of it. Yes, it's like a late game. I'm gonna be twenty minutes later, at thirty minutes. That's not a good one. That's ridiculous. That's not a good one. Okay, we're almost done. Um. An apology, and this is very valid, is not used as a way to end a conversation, which I think a lot of times and in some of our friendships,

apologies are used to end a conversation. So the president just says I'm sorry, and they want the conversation to be over. Yeah. Yeah, No, it doesn't work that way. Yeah. Men do that a lot because they just want to move on. They just want to fix it. Yeah, and go have sex. Yes, I'm sorry. Can we okay? On that note, we're here, guys, girl, I got I got three more? Yeah, I got four more. An apology is not excessive. An apology does not expect anything in return,

and apology does not include ifs or butts. An apology is genuine. Yes, and we out here? Okay? Can I an apology for cutting me off? Yes, I'm sorry, robbing for cutting you off. I thought you were done, but that's the last apology you get me, And is this the last time you're going to do that? I mean cut me off. No, Okay, we're out of here. Guy, as we love y'all so much, don't ever forget to live live your life either reasonable or shady or both.

Bide Reasonably Shady is a production of the Black Affect podcast Network. For more podcasts from Our Heart Radio, visit the I Heart Radio app, Apple podcast, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows, and you can connect with us on social media at Robin Dixon, ten, Gazelle, Briant, and Reasonably Shady