A Reasonably Shady Recap!

you're new to just this entrepreneuri game. I mean, there's a few different ways you can't go about raising capital. You can, you know, raise capital from friends and family. Um, you can you know, leverage your credit. You can take loans from your fall o one K. Everybody's situation is different. What we did personally was we just started a business that had low um startup costs, which is a podcast. Doesn't mat take a lot of money to start a podcast,

and we used our personal money. UM. You know, I wish I could have had more of an elaborate story to tell, but it really wasn't. Um. We just we staved up. We have money that we have from you know, working our respective careers, and we were still working while we were being entrepreneur. That's nothing to people. You don't necessarily have to do one or the other, Like you know, you can actually still do both at the same time.

If you have a nine of five job, you can keep that note a five job and still be an entrepreneur when you get home. And then eventually as your business takes off and now it's time to leave your nine the five, then you know it's time to leave. But in the meantime, use the money from your note a five job or whatever kind of job you have to help fund your business. So like your job is really is the investor is the angel investing in business in that in that situation. Other than that, I mean,

of course, you can try to get bank financing. That's gonna be extremely difficult, almost impossible, especially if you're just starting out, your black entrepreneur. It's gonna be extremely difficult

to get money from a bank. So, like I said, I mean, most of the time for entrepreneurs, if you're just starting now, you're gonna have to either use your own personal money, which is money that you saved up um or you know, money from like retirement accounts, money from friends and family, you can, you know, take money from your house. I'm gonna have to stop you. I'm

gonna to stop you right there. The friends and family, that's like sure far away to cause a ruckets at Thanksgiving Like no, okay, there's no no friends and family. But definitely I believe in investing in yourself, saving money and because there's there's nobody that's gonna support you or like root for you more than yourself. Right, so I'm definitely down with that. Friends and family, I say, no, I'm sorry, it depends. I mean, if someone comes to me,

I would say more family than friends. If they come to me they have a solid plan, then I'm not. I'm I don't. I'm not going to shy away from helping them out if I really believe in it, if I see if they have a plan, if you know, but not someone just says I'm struggling. Can I get some money? Like no, I want to know if how is this money going to put you in a better place permanently, Like I don't want to just give you money just to pay your bill and that's it now, Okay,

do you all loan money? That's a good question. Do you all loan money? To people because I have a firm stance because I didn't get burnt a couple of times. Yeah, no, I ain't loaning nothing so loan would would would imply that the money is gonna be paid back? Right, Yes, but we all know it's not. Okay, I mean I haven't. I haven't um with the intent of expecting it to come back. But I have um given money with the

intent of helping out a situation. Okay, I like that. Okay, now I'm gonna let you get back to the well wait, well now that right, so wait, now we're going to get back to the metaverse. And I but now that you talked about business, I want to piggyback on that conversation. I hear from a lot of people who, you know, they they're working at nine to five and they really want to be entrepreneurs. They really want to create multiple streams of income and they don't know where to start.

And you know, my advice to them is, Okay, what are you interested in? What can you, you know, find to monetize something that you're interested in. But for people who really don't think they have some sort of tangible item to sell, what avenue would you say for like people should look into too, maybe become entrepreneurs, Like I know there's so many things, like especially with the vending machines, like how like how is that that going for you guys?

I'll just start with with education because I've had this conversation with a none of my colleagues who don't think they could be entrepreneurs, And I'm like, the first thing you have to do is what's your purpose? Right? And that thing was like to help people. I'm like, well, you have a skill set that somebody else doesn't have.

You have a skill set that I don't have. Ill use a young lady for example, she her son uh is hearing them period and he's advocated for him for the past three years, and I told him like, look, your level of advocacy everybody doesn't know how to do that. You should probably write a book on this, right, And her mind was like, wait, I can't do that, And I'm like, yeah, you could, Like you're fighting for this every single day. So the first thing I would say

is look right in front of you. You're you probably possess a skill and a purpose that the other person doesn't. Write. Another one of my colleagues, she was like, I don't know, I need to create more income. I'm like, well, you're a great teacher, why don't you create a tutoring service? Right, you can do that after school. Like, that's not gonna coast you anything. And you're doing what you naturally do.

You're you're great at you're a teacher. So the problem is that people will use like hey, I don't have the time for it, when I'm like, well, either you're gonna dedicate the time to doing that or you're gonna dedicate the next twenty five years to doing this. Right, you drop a knowledge, you drop knowledge over there. It's just what you you have to choose, right. But everybody, I believe that everybody has a purpose. They just haven't tapped into it, right or they're overlooking it. A lot

of times, it's like it's right in front of you. Right. So like people ask me now, like hey, Troy, how's it feel not to teach anyone? And I'm like, well, I'm teaching every day. You still teach you. Yeah, you're teaching big time. Yeah, I didn't learn about four things today. I can't learn about four things you can talk about right, right? No, but you are teaching a lot because, like I said, I learned about I Um, you know, I learned about stocks from you guys. I also learned about things to

do for my children. One of which, um, I believe I learned from you guys was, you know, make them your employee. I have a business. So now I've set both of my kids up as employees. I pay them, you know, just under the threshold so that they're not taxed. And you know, it's a tax start off for me. They're building, you know, they're they're they're building a little nest egg. Um. What I know a lot of people want to create generational wealth for their kids. They want

to set their kids up for success. So what is the best advice that you can give to parents to help them, Um, set their kids it's up for financial success. Um, just start early, start early. Opening an investment account for them. You can open up a UTMA and that's like a a brokerage account and investment account, but for kids. And unte what's that called again? An art month? U t ut M A U t M. Do you all have kids? Yeah?

I have, I have a son, okay U t M A Okay, I'm sorry, go ahead, So, UM, that's an investment account that you are like pretty much the owner that you stole here and you can put money in. You can invest in Apple, you can invest in E, T, F and H. They don't gain access to that until they turn eighteen to the to the an adult, but you know that allows money to grow into an account. So that's that's one real easy way that you can do it. You can do any online account like t

D and marriage Trade. You can do MARRIW Lynch, any any like online brokerage account. You can go in there, take a couple of minutes into the information, and then you have the account. You can start investing money in UM. You can have a five and plan which that allows you to put money away for the education. So that's the way that you know, parents want to save for college, or you want to save for prep school or whatever, not just higher education, any form of education you can

UM saving. The good thing with the plans is that the money is tax free as long as you're using for education, and depending on what states you live in, if you invest in the States file twenty nine planning, you get a state tax deduction for the amount of money that you put in, So that's beneficial as well, so those are two easy ways where you can actually go about to start to build some some assets, some

wealth for your for your your child down the line. Yeah, I think what you're doing now is great, right, like paying them as employees of your business. Right if you if your child is seven years old, can you imagine if you paid them ten thousand dollars a year to their sevent team, right, you're talking about you, they're already six figures by the time eight team. And if you

invest in a CAU studio account. That's why we we'd like to talk about starting early, right, So right now our kids are playing roadblocks and then using their iPads and so these are company is that way invested in and put it inside their studio accounts. Now, when we talk about whole long term, that's not even enough vision and like long term, like I'm seventeen, they're still young, right, but that's ten years of equity that they've grown inside

those companies. And so that's another way. Just look at what they're doing now right where they're invest in their time. And because kids will tell you what's trending and what's hot, right, they'll let you know that's so true. But you know what. So, so my father had an UPMA for me, and of course once I turned like eighteen and I was had

access to it, I blew right through it. So good. Yeah, so so so the hard part is, yeah, we're gonna say for our kids, but we also have to teach them and create discipline for them so that they don't blow through that money and so that they you know, maybe continue to invest it. But that definitely happened to me. Like me and my brother, we blew through our So this is what not to do. But that's why we

we we And I've been saying this recently. It was like we the term generational wealth is cool, but generation generation that could be blown not to saying that that's what happened to you, but the term really should be sustainable wealth, right, so as they're growing and how do

they sustain it so that they can't mess this up? Right, Like, there's no way we're gonna put the if this was bowling, we're putting the bumpers up so that we we we've generated the wealth right this generation, and we're gonna teach them how to sustain it so that their kids and their grandkids will always have this wealth right, because if we teach generation, there's no way. I gave the example. My dad worked for forty two years. My son is eight years old. Since he's been alive, he's only seen

my dad's on the couch. He's never seen the hard work that he had to put in. He's never seen those things. And so like, yeah, I can teach you, and you can watch me, but the more important thing is how to sustain this long term Kicking it with the King featuring Carlos King July. So let's get to the list really quickly, because I had some questions about this list. Now. I was happy that that I made it on the list. I was honored because Carlos King

does not give out accolades easily at all. Okay, we know that. So Kyle Richards was not on the list, right and that was confusing to me because I feel like she's held Beverly Hills together for fourteen seasons or have a long naybe, I would agree with you. So then why wasn't she on the list? She was not on my top ten list right now, when I do my top twenty, Kyle would be numbered eleven. I'm done. I would be between the love and okay, okay, but but I guess the big the bigger question, Carlos is

you had Danielle stop on the list. No shade to Danielle, but Danielle was a housewife for well how many seasons at one point too just and for two Whereas it's like, if I feel like skin in the game speaks volumes, right, Kyle has skinning the game like no other and and every season she has a solid season and she keeps that show going. So like, how would how would she be over how would you overlook her to a Daniel style? Easily? Name me one iconic thing that Kyle has done, Mauricio.

The splits, Carlos, That's what we got. Let's split exactly. No. Look, I am a huge Kyle Richard's fan. I think she's a great reality star, Kyle Richard's competing against the top ten.

She doesn't hold a candle to a Daniel style because at the end of the day, and I said this and and and quote me again, without Dan and Gel nothing would have happened in New Jersey housewise, and I was there the first two seasons and can say that without Danielle the show would be boring and no disrespect of Potomic Ladies, but we can also look at a show like Potomac and say, without certain people, what would

be happening. So, because Danielle was on her own and Teresa at that time was very safe and sweet, Teresa's table flip is courtesy of Danielle, so o Kyle. Although Kyle is good at stirring the pot and listen, I think Kyl is great, But when it comes to nine Bethany, Ramona, Teresa, Danielle, Giselle, Sara, Kim Zosiac, Kyle, Kyle is an iconic, but she definitely

is a formidable player. Okay. So I heard a rumor that that because you worked on Jersey the year at the table got flipped, right, Yes, so she didn't really flip the table. That was you under the table flipping it for her. I heard a rumor that that was Carlos under the table, and Teresa took all the credit for Carlos flipping that table. So I was under the table, handy dang yelled the book that she placed on the table, and then you and then you flipped it, and then

you flipped because you said it's gonna be good. I wish I was that. I wish I was a little bright genius then, but I was. That was that your first housewife show you worked on before? It was that before Atlanta? That was after Atlanta? So what's funny? And I did Atlanta season one, and and I had a break for like two weeks, and then I got a phone call about this housewife in New Jersey and I decided to do New Jersey. Okay, but you weren't. You weren't EP on New Jersey, were you? No? No, no,

I was in a books underneath the table rabbit. You're a field producer. Okay, Oh, let's be clear. Act on Atlanta Girls. When I was at EP, honey, I still was on my knees doing something to make sure the scene was great. So, so where did you start in in your producing career? Like how did you get started? Yeah? So I went to college and I majored in journalism. Because of that, I was afforded these internships. So I interned at the View. I entered that MTV. My last

internship was at BT. A year later, I got a job as a p A working on one or six and Park and other shows. And then two years after that, I got a phone call from a mutual friend who said, I have this opportunity in Atlanta to do this reality show called Ladies of Hotlanta. You love reality TV? Would you be interested? And I was like, child, let me think. And because I was like you, I gonna leave New York City and go to Atlanta. But I said, you know what, I'm a man of faith. Let me do it.

And it was the best decision of my career because the rest is history. Okay, So you didn't start you were an EP on season one Atlanta. No, No, I wasn't a p until season six of Atlanta, which is the highest rated season. And we know because a NIMI called Peter a bit. Now I have a question, so, um, because we spoke of you and people that have worked producers on Potomac who have been very influential in helping

us get to where we are. Um, However, give me an honest answer, Carlos, do you feel like do you feel like because you are a man okay and and you're a man helping women tell their story, do you feel like you can do it better than a woman helping women tell their story? Is there is there disconnot a disconnect, but you know when women. We know what we go through, we feel it. Yeah, so I'm what are your thoughts. Yeah, that's a that's a very great question. No, I don't think I have a um an edge over

a woman who's also producer. Um. I think a woman who's producing a show that's dominated by women, she has to be confident in order to be honest with the women and not be intimidated by the woman. And I think the reality star who's a woman has to be able to feel comfortable sharing your personal business because let's just let's just be real. Historically, women don't like to

tell other women the business period. They just because it's one of the things where it's like, girl, I don't know you want my man, I don't know you want my life. I don't know if there's some single black or white female situation. So it takes a minute. So when you come to a talented man, Gail straight, there's a guard that's led down, right because it's like, well, you can't take my man, and if you do, and if you can, a whole another issue, right um um.

And I'm able to at least give you more more of me because my guard is now. So I don't think that, Um, we do a better job in women, not at all. I think women can do a great job. And what's funny is be let's talk to Giselle. I remember talking to you your first season. I remember you had a female Shaw runner and she called me and you guys were in the middle of getting a scene together, and Giselle said, oh, Carlos, I thought you were gone are for this third And I was like, why did

that come from? That's so funny, I ask you that. Well, I, well, I knew that we had the same production company. People don't know this, but we have the same production company as Atlanta Potoma does, and you were of producers. You're the only person that we know their name, right, So I just assume that they would in Atlanta was great. So I just assumed it they would take whoever they were using in Atlanta and give them to us so

that we could be great. Um. Now I can say that the person that you were talking to, she was great for us. She gave us the tools. Yeah, she gave us the tools that we needed season one, season two. I can, Carlos, and be honest, I can still hear her in my brain. Um, she has this saying called fix your face. And there's so many times where like I'm in a scene and that this face is jacked all the way up, but I need to fix it. And it's not anything that has to it's not anything

that has to do with the cast. It's what's going on in producing like that. You know, sometimes the producing of it all could be problematic, and you know, we get upset about it, but but she gave us wonderful tools to get us to a season. No season, Well are we supposed to say that? Okay, fine, we just did season show. I want to talk about now. I want to talk about you because Carlos, we know we might have been in Miami, and Carlos heard we was

in Miami. And when I say, we me Robin and some other ladies, and Carlos said, let me go meet the lady days that sound Mike face to face up closer and personal. And I totally loved it. Was so happy that you did that. I'm sure you're you know, you're a really busy guy and you took time out to come and meet us and just keep key. I mean, we had a good old KEI Kiva Carlos, Yes, no, and and listen and I'll say this and I don't care.

He gets mad. I am a black man in this business producing reality TV, and I'm such a fan of reality And one thing about me is I support all of my black females and males in this genre because I know how hard it is to be great in front of the camera being judged by the world. So Number one, I want to make it very clear, I am a fan. Number one, I thank you. I watched

Potomac and I get my entire life. So when I was told that you ladies were well, that you two and some other folks were in Miami, I you know, I didn't tell you all this. I canceled two meetings and I said, and I said, I have to meet them. I'm a fan, just like meeting Beyonce. Oh my gosh. I was like, wait, I said, but Carlos, this is what you don't know. So after you laughing everything, um, Karen comes up to me and she says, at Giselle, did you did you get to meet the Carlos? Did

you did you meet Carlos? I said, yes, bitch, before you, Yes, I met Carlos. Okay, he came and saw me first, and look and look. Some other people were like, Carlos was here. I didn't see Carlos. Yeah, that's probably abolist. I don't know. I mean, listen, I love I love all of you, ladies, but I will say this, it

was a pleasure of beating the two of you. I'm not gonna say who us was in the room because I ain't stupid, but I have to say, first of all, guys, Gizelee and Robin are gorgeous in person like like no makeup. We were in the bed, like when I said to you, guys,

we had a key. We had a key, key. And the beauty of talking to Graizelee and Robin was they're such great professionals and they know how to do their job and we just had a I don't want to spoil it, but we just had a good time talking about the show and the scenes and this and just

reality TV. They threw me shade, you know. It was it was, it was, It was fun, and I want people to know that at the very end of the day, I am a huge fan of Potomac and I say this all the time, and I'm not disrespecting my land of girls, who I will always loved. But the real Hall wots up. Potomac to me is the best Housewise out right now. So wait before before you switch topics. So when when you were um, when we were in the room, you called Giselle executive producer and you called

me co executive producer. So what are you when you're watching Potomac? What are you seeing that makes you think that? Okay, So as a student, no, let let me not be so humble. As a professor of super Sorry, Dr Wendy, I'm the professor tonight. So you're talking about don't do it. Don't do it? So luck when I watched the show and that and that's the reason why I'm saying what I said earlier was the relationship between the producer and the cast members crucial because there's a level of trust.

And when you talked about the female producer, who you still here in your ear like fix that face. I can't wash Potomac. And one thing about the two of you, y'all play off of each other. And I'll give it. I'll give an example of two scenes that are I'll give three very quickly. I'll give three very quickly. Season one, episode one, Jeez, Okay, because I I do this ship for real. When Gizelle told Karen, y'all have this argument about the crab boils, and it was this whole thing

in the mirror. I I knew in that instance. I said, Oh, Gizelle, it's like this has to be in the first episode. I'm not gonna be a part of anything boring, so let me make sure to just be honest. And since Karen and are friends in real life, let me read her real quick and it won't matter. So that's a I'm not suner one. Number two is last season when Professor Wendy and the two of you were on the couch.

You guys were on the cash trip. Um Ashley took off maternity leave to be messy and to deliver the message to Dr Wendy and y'all to set on the couch. Wendy had was fed up to here y'all look on the couch and said, girl, I don't really give a ship. This was a great scene. I'm going to sip on my bottle water with the straw, and Robin said, I'm going to literally finger myself as you talk about that.

I was like, they are good paired and last or not leaves last but not least when Ashley and Candice had that altercation in candice home and Ashley gave the read of girl, you mean your mama high official Mama table, which I think is everything and canvas stupid knife. That was all orchestrated because Robin's said, I'm just gonna say it. Uh, your husband actually suck one stead like you set a

flat out and then Giselle said you leave it. I'll come back in the house because we said I'm gonna work to do because the crew is here for another two hours. So that's what I mean when I say you guys are the executive and the co EP. Shady Preacher featuring Jamal Bryant November. Jamal is good about not bragging on himself, but there's a little bragg I want to do. You feed the community. When the COVID first started,

New Birth was very intentional about feeding the community. You have fed how many I'm saying it wrong, you have done how many? How many? So in the in the pandemic, we started giving our groceries and uh, just a month ago we hit one million families that we give groceries to in the last few years. And it is great and it is embarrassing to know that food insecurity is that dire. And we're just talking about one metropolitan Erica.

For Thanksgiving, we're giving our five thousand turkeys. Uh. While that sounds good in one way, in another way, it's saying that it has to be done. Yeah. Now we said one million groceries two years. Families, one million families,

one million bags of groceries in two years. Yeah, that's fantast that's fantast I remember when I was when we were married and I was the first lady of the Paramit Temple Um the Women's Ministry that look, you know what I know my next question, the Women's Ministry would decided, Jamal has his hands over his face, right, it's covering his face. We decided to to feed as many families as we could and literally go to their house, knock on the door and give them the food. So I

had like a bus. I had security. I was pregnant the time with one of them kids I have and um, and I was going knocking on doors. So it's like I was in the hood of Baltimore knocking on doors. You did not know what was gonna open the door. All kinds of things was opening the door as I was. Yes, I mean, obviously we were blessing them, but it was such a blessing to me to be able to give them what the Church gave them, and for me like

they would invite me in. It would be like a weed infestive smelling house, and they would invite me in, and I would pray with him a little bit and I would say Happy Thanksgiving. But we made sure that we gave them food from Thanksgiving to Christmas. Wow, so right, enough food for for to last at least a month. So yes, as that's what I did as first lady at a POM. That fantastic. So look, speaking of gall being first lady at Empowerment Temple, tell us Jamal, how

was just out as a first lady? There's a pause? No, no no, no, So just Lle was not a Mother Teresa first lady hit her head. She was a Michelle Obama first lady. Yes, yes, she was coming in waving. I was not waving to the it she was. She was the black Princess due. She did a great job. Okay, well, while we're on that that note, she did our first women's conference. Yes, um, she did a whole lot of mentoring a lot of the young girls came to her

from mentoring. A lot of the young ladies who had come to Baltimore to go to either Copping or Morgan really pulled on her. She wrote a whole lot of a k letters, half of the aks and bolts to my let us from Gazelle. Listen, I was the bomb. Okay even back then. Now now I want to say, there's some things that I missed not being married to Jamal Bran Okay, okay, which is one of the things I used to complain about. I think I now missage. Okay.

So you know, like I said, Jamal travels a lot, so he would have to get his his suits and his ties and his shirts together before he would go on his trips. So he would always be like, wake me up out of my sleep. Now you want to be sleep, and when you sleep, leave me alone. But he would wake me up, turn on all the lights. He would say, Gazelle, does this suit go with this tie? But does this shirt go with this tie? In this suit? Okay, wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute, let

me get three other ties. Okay, these three ties go with this five shirts. I mean it was like, so you missed this. Now I'm just saying you have for the store. What she missed I was picking her clothes out. That's what she missed. When I was picking her clothes out, robbing, she wasn't in no blog when I don't pick it out. Oh my god. Okay, the same we brought this off ing. I need you to be robbing, you gotta be. I was my first stylist of truth, the whole truth and

nothing but the truth, robbing. When I first met you, where did I meet you? You met me at the A C. Where did I first meet you? Rob Yes? It as sacks, yes, true, yes, Sacks yes, yes. So she does not miss picking out my ties. She misses me dressing her. That's what she's not going to give confession to. Okay, this is this is a breaking moment. Yes, Jamal Bryant was my first stylist. Really, yes, okay my

last right and you're only only yes okay. See that was one of my one of my questions for jam All was how does he go about picking his outfits out? Because you know, you look nice and sharp now, but I've seen sometimes you have, like, you know, a pink tie and a pink silky shirt talking about them Detroit player suits you had, Okay, you had some plenty of Detroit player suits. Do you do? You have a tailor, and you're just like, give me one of every color,

give me everything in every color, in every print. What the shade is coming. It's a work in progress. So when I was at U from Detroit, Uh, that's when I started wearing gagos So when I met Gazelle, I had different color Gators for every suit. Gazelle threw my gauges out. So I've tried to purge. I've tried to purge that party and walk backwards. It's a working progress, yes, but I mean they were like they were like, it's like a whole green suit with the matching green gators,

orange suits with that matching. He had this one white leather. They weren't ready. It's definitely not ready. I don't know you were killing them, but they weren't ready. White leather, trench coade. I couldn't wait for him to go on a trip leather. I do that thing in the trash. I said, I can't do this. You ain't no, no, no, I was ahead of my time. White leather cause, um, okay, So where I threw it in the trash can Jamal Bryant's it's gone. Okay, that thing probably costs fourteen dollars.

It is gone. I couldn't take it. Um but no, I feel like you have come a long way and I love you. Do you do rock the dashiki situation? Sometimes? I see you on the Instagram? Um? So, so do you like dashiki suits? Get you a man that could do both? Did you a man that can do both? Is that what he said? But to answer your question, he has tailors upon Taylors upon Taylors. Oh yeah, yeah, okay, I believe that. Yes see, I'm not a really good cook, so I'm not. I don't I didn't really wine and

Dina Jamal a by my home cooking. Right, But what was your favorite part of Robber? Let me tell you that robbing, Robbing? I gotta tell you this. You know what our first fight was in marriage? What was that? I have no idea? When are you going to the supermarket? You didn't know before robbing she was coming back with chips and started getting the home cooked meals to the girls. Was oh my god. Okay, but yeah, in my defense, in my defense, Jamal, you like to go to restaurants

to eat. You like to do that, but when we're sitting in the same house, you gotta go down the state Robin, this is two thousand one, No Huber eating. No, there was no brother. This is the one just got off a motor rolling two way pages something. Okay, this was actually gonna be my last question to you, and and we might finish it just for what he just said. But anyway, okay, so what was the best part about

being married to Chisel? Because you're the only person on this planet that has been married to me, there's a reason there would be a whole another show it to you. No, no, no, just Zell pushed me to be better. And she's the only one out out of my parents who has spoken into my life to really push me to go to another level. I preached um at a conference at my home church one day and I thought I killed that John. I mean, I thought Star Wars the Force was with

and Giselle. We got in a car and Giselle was like, you have really stopped growing? Do you really think just the best that you can do? I was high level offended, but it really seriously but didn't really go to another point. And then when this herschel Walker video went virable, I saw Giselle maybe a week after that, and she said, this is your vein. Why did you leave that? You need to stay in what it is that you're good

at and be your best. And a lot of people, uh don't really have authentic friends that can push you to be better. Uh. And so the thing that I value about Giselle, She's always pushed me to be better, even if she's pushing me over the cliff without a parachute. Okay, we're gonna leave it at that. That was such a nice way to end. I want everybody know Jamal Bryant is one of my favorite people on Earth. Oh that's nice. Yes,

one of my favorite people on Earth. That don't do that because rapping is sitting there, not one of, not one of don't do that. You're not the I have. Don't do that. Don't do that. Don't do that because rapping is sitting Now. Okay, I have I have Grace Angel and my favorite people. It's okay, I can say that you you are in the top five. Okay, a favorite people. But I have three kids. I have three kids, three kids, I have two parents. I have three kids. I have two parents. Yes, so you you beat out

one parent. Jeez. Anyway, thank you for letting me come on the show. Words to Live By May nine. So Robin has eight sentences that we should all live our lives by. So this is gonna be profound, y'all. Y'all, you know, we talked about a whole lot of stuff, a whole lot of nonsense, but we do try to, you know, impart some type of inspirational words as well. Um. So I come across these posts on Instagram and I'll save them, and I said, I'm going to share this

with the podcast listeners because I love you all. So this is eight sentences that everyone should believe. Okay, Okay, so you should believe Okay. So I haven't heard any of these sentences, okay, but I'm here to tell you. If something sounds crazy, I'm gonna let you know. Okay, I appreciate it. Okay. Um, you have to lose a few people find yourself. That's true. I like that. I like that. But are they um exclusive? You know what I mean? Like? Can they be mutually exclusive? Like can

you find yourself without happening without having to lose people? Yeah? Um. According to this post, no you cannot Okay, continue on. I think I think it actually should read. You shouldn't be afraid to lose a few people to find yourself. You know what I mean? I got one for you. Okay, No, okay, you do yours, okay before you forget Okay. So this is my T. D. Jake's impressionation. Okay, because I've watched

this real about fourteen times. Okay. So T. D. Jake said, you ain't gonna let fear rue rue your life, even if you scare, even if you're trembling, even if you um can't do it, and you and you're terrified, do it anyway, have the courage to do it because you don't want to be in the old folks home being in a bad band. And you didn't do it? Did he really say that? Yes? Yes, And let me tell you something. That thing shook me to the core, right you. Yeah,

But whatever it is I was fearful about. I was probably scared that I don't know anyway, But I mean I appreciate that like like fear will like debilitate you, yes, and it will stop you from from doing a lot of stuff that you you you know, it can stop you from leading a life that you never even imagine that you could leave. Yes, and a lot of times the fears in your head, so it's like you're you're

stopping yourself from doing something. But once you go ahead and do it, you look back like, what what was the scared of that for? Exactly? And then you know you just never want to have regrets. So do you want to let fear prevent you from doing stuff that? When you're an old folks home, you're like, man, I should have just done that, I should have just done X, Y and Z. Let me tell you something. I'm out here doing it. Yes, yes, all right, so back to

my list. So you have to lose a few people to find yourself, which I think we should edit to say, don't be afraid of losing a few people in order to find yourself. And I think that you know that can apply to friendships, relationships, you know, businesses, whatever, coworkers, um. Sometimes people are holding you back, um number two. Sometimes it's best to keep it private until you know it's permanent.

Let me tell you something, hunts need hunt. It's very difficult for being robbing to keep things private because we're on this show your Housewives of Potomach and they all in our business. But I do agree with that, Yeah, yeah, yeah, I agree. I mean whenever whatever, it is like in good stuff and bad stuff. So I think about when

you're going through stras. See, it's hard because like when you're going through struggles with your partner or with a friend or whatever, and then you, um, you can find in another person, right, and then you make up, you resolve those issues, and then that other person is still mad and they like, don't you remember where he did? And so it's like sometimes it's like you really have to be careful with what you're sharing with people because

sometimes they're gonna hold hold it against you. And then on the flip side, it's like you could think that you're about to close a business deal. I don't you do you know how many people because in the world of reality TV, UM reality TV production companies and casting companies, they try to cast people left right up, down all around.

Do you know how many people I've heard that have gone around telling all their friends and family that they're going to be famous and they're gonna be on reality TV because someone so talked to them and blah blah blah, and it doesn't happen, right, So then you're left looking stupid, kind of stupid when people are like, hey, whatever happened to that show? You said you were going to be one? Whatever happened to that? Because I mean and that it's so funny because like I applied that to my own

experience with Potomac. Remember, I mean, could tell you listen, we're all season three and I was like, so we're on a show, right, Yes, we've been doing this for years. What are you talking about? Like the cameras at my door? I'm like, what y'all doing here? So so anyway, yeah, I just think it's important. It's it's always hard. It's like, just be careful with what you share and who you share it with and how premature you share and all

that type of stuff. Okay, now I gotta go back to my phone and I gotta a call coming in. Why doesn't iPhone like you can't hit decline when your phone when you're not like on your phone. Anyway, that's a whole another subject. I can we can have our iPhone rans later? Okay? Number three? If you can attach, you can detach hm. So that that brings me to a story so I was, um, this was years ago, and I was, um, I thought I was on a date. Okay,

I was. I was. I was doing a little vak with this dude, right, And I didn't really know when I was he let's say he had to be there for the week and I was in town for a couple of days, and I didn't really know when I was leaving, right because I had just had stuff to do. And he was like, just Elsa, when when are you leaving? And I was like, are you trying to get rid of me? Right? And he said, no, I need to. I'm trying to figure out when to disconnect. Oh, and

that that also was rude to me. I was like, what the hell does that mean? But he I understood, like he just wanted to know, like when was the disconnection happening? Yeah? So was that so disconnect from like being hospitable, or disconnect from me getting out of his room, disconnect from us being together? Really? Yeah, he just it was a very strange way of him asking me, yes, I proceeded to start packing, Yeah, yeah, yeah, you know, like okay, you know what in fact, well and my

flight leaves in ten minutes. But I think really it was because I never really had I didn't know when I was leaving, so he you know, I guess he just needs to know when I was leaving anyway, Yes, that that that I mean, I guess that's similar. But um yeah, like if you can attach to something or some one, then you have the ability to detach as well, so don't So it's pretty much don't put all your eggs,

have them egg scrambletony all over the alright. Number four, social media has made perfect look achievable, so now real has become undesirable, and that's so true. Yeah, yeah, I mean I think honestly, I think even before social media, people had issues with trying to achieve perfection. You know, whether it's like passed on, passed down from their parents.

You know how many people I know that have like parent issues you know what I'm saying, because their mother wanted them to be skinny, or you know what, they wanted to live up to their parents expectations and stuff. So so yeah, I mean social media definitely. You know people on social media, they're not and I would say most most of us are guilty of it. We're not going to post the ugly pictures, but no I don't.

I don't want y'all see that, right, Yeah, I mean, but you know, it is like the filters and stuff, like, you know, you have to be mindful that if you're posting a picture and you look nothing like that, you don't post that, right that. Yeah, that's an issue. Yeah, yeah,

but yes, we we. I would love to be back to real nous because because I do feel like if you look at what people look like today with with or without filters and stuff, versus what they look like in the eighties, you know what I mean, people in the eighties were just more raw and more like now it's just like, I don't know, we're so like overdone. I agreed, agreed, Yes, yeah, And I want to go back to having like real conversations with people. Yes, yeah, I used to do that a lot. Yeah, I agree.

All right, let's see number five. Anything that costs you your mental health is too expensive look elsewhere, Like what give me an example. I mean, anything that's stressing you out to the point where you're like, you know, you're feeling depressed or yeah, I mean ship that can be a whole lot of stuff. So it's pretty much saying like there's nothing out here, that's worth compromising and you know, weakening your mental health, right, So so yeah, just keep

that in mind. If something is bothering you to the point where it's consuming you and you can't think straight and you're depressed, and let it go. Agree Number six. If they don't know you personally, never take it personally. Oh that's not good on that And that's good for people that are in business. Of times, if you're in business and something happens and you take it so personally, it ain't personal. It is business. That's true. That's true,

but it's it's like so important. It's like even if you know someone like in passing, people still might not know the real you, Like if you don't spend a lot of time around someone, um, you know, like, still don't take that stuff personally personal. Yeah, And I always like flip it on a person. I'm like, well, that's they issue, that's their insecurity, that's there, you know, whatever,

their their mama drama that they're putting on you. Yes, and if and I just want to put this out there, if you want a reality television show and you're getting a paycheck, it's business. That's very true. Yeah, just saying very true, it's hard, it's a little it's because we are, you know, friends, we want to be friends. We want to nurture our friendship. Very true. It is definitely a fine line. Number seven. Never assumed that loud is strong or quiet is weak. It's often the other way around.

Very true. I would I would agree with that. Yes, my grandfather like barely spoke, but when he did, you listen, you listen, and even when he was quiet, it was like just his presence in the room spoke volume. So yeah, I want to stop talking. But then there are some people who who you know, they walk in and they're like, you know, they they want to be the center of attention.

And it's like you can just tell like, okay, you're not you're not comfortable where you are, you know what I mean, Like it's it's it's yeah, so never soon all right, if you're happy alone, you'll be happier together. So I guess it's saying, like two people, if you're happy and content by yourself, by yourself, then in a relationship, that that makes for a better relationship. Facts, yes, yeah, and then like you might even like being alone better

than the relations Just send them home. The yep that was it. Those were good. I think people can learn from all of those. I mean, something you can speak to somebody. Yeah, I think I think that sometimes we just have to stop and like really think about what's important and what's what's valued, what we're valuing, and what we should like get rid of. Yeah, yeah, absolutely, And I just like one of my I think people seeking per affection is like the root of a lot of

issues that people have in life, you know. So it's just like, if we can just let go of our desire to be perfect, in our desire to be perceived as perfect, so much will just you know be better. Like you know, everyone you're just afraid to fail or you don't want to disappoint someone or or you know, afraid you don't want to be judged, Like so what Yeah, And I don't even really And I tell my this to my kids because I'm raising three teenage daughters and

so that whole perfection thing is huge right now. So I always tell them, like, I don't even understand what perfect means, Like what does that mean? Right? Who defines perfect? Right? Just be yourself and that's the perfect whatever that is flaws and all so um, But yeah, I think that that's what we're given to the people. Yes, if you are, if you are something called perfect, don't be perfect. No, that's not you, don't exist. Just be yourself, damn it.

Figure out what that is. Figure out what makes you happy, what makes you sad. Just be yourself. Yes. Reasonably Shady is a production of the Black Affect podcast Network. For more podcasts from our Heart Radio, visit the I Heart Radio app, Apple podcast, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows, and you can connect with us on social media at Robin Dixon, ten, Giselle Briant, and Reasonably Shady