The Holderness Family - ADHD can be a Superpower?

Now really, really.

Now really hello, and welcome to Really Know Really with Jason Alexander and Peter Tilden, who remind you to.

Please subscribe to our show. Wait what what was I saying? What was I thinking? What are we doing here? Oh? Yeah, please subscribe?

And that my dear listeners, was a somewhat stereotypical example of attention deficit hyperactivity disorder or ADHD, a medical condition with symptoms that include difficulty focusing and staying on task, the inability to sit still, and various.

Self control issues.

Worldwide, over three hundred and thirty six million people live with ADHD, including our very own Peter Tilden. Many view it as a daily burden that makes simple tasks difficult and anxiety ridden, and personal interactions often challenging, but not today's guests. Kim and Penn Holderness are best selling authors, and their most recent book is ADHD Is Awesome, A Guide to Most Sleep Thriving with ADHD, Really No Really.

Don't tell me you have attention to disorder. You spotted that, Just do that. I work at it all right, So this is a good place to start. This studio must make you crazy, because honestly, to sit here and do the show, I'm distracted. We've got two three for five cameras, We've got people that we see so last.

We only pay for Yeah, we got papers, we got things. There's the fact.

How do you The hardest thing for me, I'll break the wall is not doing this because I've interviewed people for years. What break in the wall is is that we have four shut We do multiple shows in a day.

Changing my head to not have.

All that noise inside about the other shows, you know, and be able to focus on this. I try and then go, Okay, we got the wholeness. I'll give an example of this. The whole news families come in and I start to agonize about how do I present the really no really, So I got to get in my head there really no really is that? Emir, who's our publicist, and more alerted me to this family because they wrote and I have ADHD. They wrote a book and have

That's the entire United States.

No, that's worldwide as of twenty twenty. I don't know I've had this discussion before. It's because we were more aware. So there's more or diagnoses, but there are a lot of people who go undiagnosed, kids who don't have parents enough money who can't get them diagnosed. Around six and ten children with ADHD also have at least one other mental emotional or behavior condition. Now you know which anxiety depression. I suffer from some depression of anxiety, although it's not crippling.

But here's just so people understand when we say ADHD. These are the things, Peter. I'm going to read a list, Peter has I'm going to say ninety of this list has.

Trouble laughing, and that's horrible.

Right, has trouble listening and paying attention to me needs lots of reminders to do things I don't.

I don't. You don't know. I'm really I've ever been later forgotten something that I don't have.

All right, I'll take that out. Gets distracted easily, absent money. You don't seem absent it to me. If anything you're you're I remember you remember a lot of stuff. Yeah, yeah, yeah, disorganized and lose things. I don't think that's true of you either. No, you know you might not have ADHD. You can't sit still wait their turner, be patient.

Bang bing bing bing bang bang bang. Things like that's a big one.

Rush through homework and other tasks and make careless mistakes.

No, but I do rush. I want to get through it. Well, that's that's I have nothing.

I have no letters attached to a diagnosis of anything in my life, and I rush through things to interrupt a lot and talk or call out answers in class.

This is about students. But yes, but in class, Hey, I wanted to hot. So that was what everybody wants to do?

Do things they should so impulse control doing things they know they shouldn't even you know.

How much do I say, hey, we should do this, we should do that to avoid having to sit.

Yes, gets upset, easily, restless, fidgety, frustrating, s c r O.

There's a body part of you always always have been moving going. Yeah.

Interesting, it's it's it's seriously, what is interesting to me is very little at any given moment. Sure, I can be absent minded, or I can get distracted, or I can need reminders to do it. But it's not a chronic condition. So most of this feels like a little alien to me.

Now I understand why the late night hosts, some of them are a bit crazy.

Yeah, because doing it every it never ends. You're like Larry David. Larry David, I would always I thought he was doing a bit. He was not doing a bit.

But you know, by the time we started shooting a season of the show, they basically had twenty two episodes at least worked out, thought through, you know, if not outlined, at least thought through. Here's our major storyline, here's what we're going to tackle. But and and by season four, we're a hitch after every episode. As we were filming we go, that's a wrap. On episode four oh four, Larry David would cry out into the into the void, it.

Can't be done again. It's impossible. No one can do this.

And I'm going, you've been doing it for four years. You kind of know what we're doing next week?

Could you really be this crazed about?

And I've come to believe absolutely, you know, for him, he did not think. He felt he had set an impossible bar. I understand that and that it just you know, and Jerry would be right. But they create together, side by side, holding hands. Jerry would be like, that's fine. Why do you have to be something? And I was like that too, Sure, sure, well it is a superpower

I am coming here on my on my down days. This is my first stop, my ego. I'm like so full right now. This is amazing this The two of.

You look like fitness models. They also they also did something we could not do. Well, maybe you could do it.

They won the amazing right, I could not do that for reasons that have nothing to do with your.

Could you You've talked lovingly about your wife and the connection you have.

You guys would be amazing, amazing.

Let me just tell you. Let me just tell you how wrong that would be. We'd be in the car, my wife. We we we flip gender stereotypes. Okay, I pull out of the driveway, I go, let's that's directions, and she.

And we have to go north. That's north. We'll get there. We'll get there, And I go, would.

It kill us to find this is great TV? Though it doesn't may not get there first.

I mean, that's what happens to us in real life.

But then when there's one hundred a million dollars are on the line and everyone's filming, you and you just agree not to yell at each other. You let someone be the navigator and someone the driver. It sounds like you guys would be perfect.

No, no, no, I don't like heights. Oh yeah, I'm not a heights person. Yep, I enjoy frequent bathroom stuff.

Yeah, things like that. Yeah, I'm just not cut out. And if I may million, I just threw up. I will say there's been a lot of Yeah.

Well, if someone says I'll give you a million dollars, walk on that two inch board and now I don't need a million dollars as opposed to you, I read.

Hot cold, Well, I will say we did, we are. We were just huge fans of the show as a family. So it's one of those things that you know, for some people, if Survivor was an option, they would go on.

For us, it was the amazing race.

So yeah, are my cousin who did Survivor many times many and I I but because I.

Know you probably can't talk about it now the sausage is made.

There are many things about reality, very real, and so.

I wish I wish that.

I wish they would lift the veil in that some too, And some of it's even kind of fascinating, like the photographers are in better shape than we are.

Like there until a few.

Years ago, they were carrying like those old news cameras, those giant news cameras running backwards at the same speed we were running forward.

I'm curious with your amazing race and then we can move on to the awesomeness that is HD. Did you are you the kind of couple right in the beginnings that we're going to win this and you never wavered on that or did you just were you just in it and kind of navigating it each day going oh my god, we should drop out, Oh my god, they're going to win it.

Well, we're competitive as hell. I think that.

Outwardly, we told each other we're going to go there and have a great time and not let it bother us if we don't win. It's really about the experience and about you know, learning.

It would be a fund story to tell your grandkids. I was on the amazing race.

Yeah. Inwardly, do you want to take that one?

Well, I have suffered from anxiety depression, so and also I'm very competitive, so when we didn't do well, I would get really pissed. So so inwardly I thought we could win, but I outwardly never said it.

It's an amazing, amazing thing to do. When they showed up, did the other teams go, oh god, damn it around.

Yeah, we're the oldest combined couple. Uh else everybody else do? They were shredded. They were in their younger twenties, and they looked like they had just worked out for eight straight years just to Yeah, so we were Is.

That is Is that sort of being in top physical shape a real boost on that show or is it?

I think it was like a strategy, Yeah it is. I mean I think we won because we knew how to read a map. Yeah, yeah, yeah, and so just being a little older help.

Which, by the way, that's a big thing. I don't think my children can read them.

More people had ever used a map like the twenty somethings. They don't have to.

They have phones, right, and normally the show doesn't require too much self driving. But we stopped after the third episode because we were in Scotland as COVID was making its way over to the United States, and so we flew home. I think we brought COVID with us and you're welcome, but we said we sat in our rooms. And then eighteen months later they came back and found a way to restart the race, but they couldn't put

That's crazy.

I know that this podcast is not about reality TV.

She just gave me the okay. That means I've been talking a little bit too. If you did you notice solve the book.

Among other things that we talked about winning the amazing race. But you guys, I here some co authored ADHD is Awesome. A Guide to Mostly Thriving with ADHD, which was an instant New York Times bestseller came out last April. And this this is your area, this is this is ADHD is where do I sign up? I mean, just so I understand the world that we're going to be talking about. I could have asked this of Peter, but I'm not

No?

Uh, well, a d D is attention deficit disorder. ADHD is attention deficit hyperactivity disorder. But there's three different types of ad whatever. There's inattentive, there's impulsive, and there's a combination of the two, right, hyperactive, impulsive, and a combination of the two. So what happened was I think they made ADHD to catch all term for everything.

I'm a combination.

There's a lot of people who are just in intentive and they would call themselves add But I think it got to the point where doctors were talking about it so much and it was becoming a buzzword that they just let it go and said it's ah.

It's an umbrella term, so we could effectively just lump it all into ADHD.

Yeah, yeah, okay, great, so now I understand where we are. Well, the name sucks, so I'm glad that you brought it up.

Yeah, it's a bad stake and it's a negative, and I know that's for me. Like I said, I couldn't wait for you guys to come in because ADHD is awesome?

Is f you okay? Because I fought with this my entire line?

And then I read about athletes who it's a superpower for them because they can singularly focus on stuff. Talk about your diagnosis. Look, give us the backstory on how you find out how it impacts you, so we can get some insight on how you got to the awesomeness of something negative.

Well, as a kid, I had some of the same issues that you did. I tapped my feet a lot. I shredded every single napkin I ever had in my hand. When I was trying to eat, had a ring of Everyone thought it was sweat, but I would chew on my collar. These are all ways that you deal with trying to stave off distractions. Actually, like those, these like takes.

It's a way to regulate.

Actually, so I had I would it's saliva.

I would shoe on my shirt and I have a ring of saliva all the way around like this.

As I was a kid.

On top of that, as I'm sure you know, it's it's not like, okay, you do you, it's what's wrong with you? Like you're you're a total weirdo. You are a freak. You are different. You're you're saying things that are coming to the top of your head that make no sense. You can't make it to the end of conversations, can't sit still. And so while I think I was a fairly highly functioning person mentally, academically and all those other things, socially, it was difficult. I got really upset,

It saved me, Yeah, it really saved me.

How much do you think because you talked about the medication was beneficial for a year and then that you could lean off of it. I know people in my life who have both anxiety and depression situations and some degree of I don't think quite as pronounced as perhaps what you were dealing with. But do you think that hormonal changes as you go through different ages either helps or compounds this condition?

So the theory is, and this is just scientific studies. Obviously, when you get older and you get hormones and you maturey, I think it's more about getting older and your executive functioning catching up. Like scientifically, your executive functioning doesn't fully develop until you're twenty five, but certain parts of it, you know, kind of slowly make their way there. It's just our pre federal cortex is smaller. I know, I'm not a scientist, but I've heard this from other people.

So you know what it sounds like when one of my kids, when he was younger, had some of these is I mean, I don't know that we would have necessarily categorized it like this, but there was a book that we read that was very helpful called The Highly Intelligent, Easily Frustrated Child, and it always and what struck me about that is at the time the indication was my

So one of the best things about ADHD is if you think of your your executive functioner, it's like your CEO, right, it's your part of the brain that's your CEO, and it decides what to take in. And one of the reasons we're so distracted is because we take in everything we take in. We have more attention than other people. That's why it's the worst name.

Ever.

We don't know where to focus it or how to manage that attention. But because of that, I've always felt very creative because of all of these things I'm taking in and how much input and how much we're processing, maybe even compared to the neurotypical brain. Just turning it around and getting it back out of your mouth or

You know, it's so funny that you say, I've never really talked about.

It except Peter, by the way, I just take yeah, I love you, okay, not when you you did call it. I do feel like I'm taking in tons of information all the time, and I'm juggling forty of those things at any given time. And my wife knows to say, did you hear the story about? And I go, yeah, and what's that about? And I'll tell her And it's not because I want to know it, it's because I

Yeah? I do.

And I'm so so lucky to have a wife who understands that this is how my brain works. And a lot of it had to do with the book that we wrote, that we understood because she could be saying something really important to me while I'm curious about these things, and it would because I have to know about this. Whatever she just said never entered any part of my working memory. So I want to thank you welcome and ask if you'd like to chime in on this a little bit.

Does he also do this? My wife's working we both work from home. She's an editor and stuff. I will tell her something important that's apropos or linked to nothing else in the world, so she's used to getting these disparate pieces of information that are fascinating, but does be unrelated.

Does he do that?

One hundred percent?

What I love about him is he is a very naturally curious person. But the curiosity just doesn't have a boundary. So he's going to he walked into your studio space here, and he wants to see and touch and feel everything, which is a great energy to have. But at some point it's like time to go to bed, dude, Like, let's let's wrap it up.

Yeah, now you don't have it.

I do not know, so I have my own bag of tricks. So when you're talking about the hormones part so famously underdiagnosed or the highly intelligent. So if your son was highly intelligent, they don't get diagnosed because they're not problems right and academically.

And women and people of color also get underdiagnosed.

But the issue with women is because our hormones are so much more fierce, and it happened very different periods in our lives. It is exacerbated, so your anxiety and depression. If you if you're going through perimenopause, it's like you put a blowtorch on it, adhd. If you're a woman and you're going through puberty, you've just had a baby, menopause like you, it's it's a struggle.

It's it's super duper hard.

What about meds for you? I think I know the answer. I took, dude. It's called dexidron.

That's like a diet pill, and I love, but honestly, I wonder if it wasn't dexadrin because I lost a ton of I lost weight. I didn't want to. I don't want to lose weight, and especially in college, but uh it it got me through college. I had Oh I mixed it with alcohol. That's stupid.

A little bit that everything was with a mixer.

Well, yeah, he chased it amazing in college, so I don't I'm sure I should never recommend that to anyone ever in history.

But I was able to graduate.

I think the biggest thing that I noticed was that I I didn't feel like personally, I did not feel like my self. I was getting all of these tasks done, but the core of who I was, and this is just me, was was that CEO that let everything in, that allowed all of these ideas to come to him and was okay if sometimes I got a little bit sad because also I would get like this brain that

I was like my stay was a little further up in the plane, so I would have been safe from this.

Yeah, I was like those moments, those highs, those lows, and just that life to me. I didn't feel like I was feeling it the same way when I was on those meds.

Again, Okay, Also, the medicine does work for nine to nine percent of the people. Our son was on medicine, and he it's the summer he's not on he may go back on it. And the So I don't want to shame anybody you wish.

Do you wish he was still on the medication? Do you wish he was still on the medication?

Sometimes sometimes no, But I would say I love his brain, and because right now we have a really strange job or on the internet and singing and dancing and making comedy, So I love the way he sees the world. And I think his unmedicated brain is the reason why we are successful at this. And I think any ADHD person would tell you, if you're in the right job, you don't notice your symptoms. He doesn't notice his symptoms as

I love his brain.

Sometimes I really need to like have a conversation with him, and I know he's trying so hard, Like his shoulders are squared. He has the phone down and he's like tapping, He's like trying to listen. He's like, I'm in it, I love you, I got this, And he's like he's trying super hard so that it's hard to see him like struggle with like basic marriage stuff.

So ye fair, Yeah, you mentioned your children, though I don't want you to talk about your kids in any way that you don't want to. But is any part of this condition seemingly genetic or hereditary and are they dealing and if they are dealing with it, would they agree with you that it's.

Kind of a superpower.

Are they having more struggles because of their age and where they are life?

My son has ADHD.

He was diagnosed about a year ago, two years sorry, two years ago. I think he's happy to have someone who walks the journey with him. It is one hundred percent hereditary. That is that science says it. In fact, we've had a lot of people who have bought this book who and they've bought it for their children, and they've offered to read it with their children, and halfway through they slammed the book and they say, oh crap, this is me.

Yeah, this is research base. So we'd been doing research for about five years. And our son, I was the one who took. I took both our kids to get you know, dammined you do it.

Like three days?

Evaluated, Yeah, evaluated, Sorry, words are hard.

My daughter, no, she does not.

And then my son it was like flaming, scorching, but again academically gifted, not hyperactive, but think some things were

Like all the guys made it a brand.

But I'm laughing because I just want to point out something because this is there's a subject of comedy here. The sensitivity of that piper disability is all negative. And you just said, oh, we took him and he's flaming.

You have a scorching case of ADHD. And because of his dad is who is who he is. But I have to say, even sitting in that doctor's office with the psychiatrist going through everything, the way that the diagnosis was delivered, it felt like my son was being diagnosed with like a life threatening illness. So like, okay, there's a treatment option, you can do this, and like it was and I already knew better, but I came out I was pretty fast.

It's a thing in front of the kid and in front of.

My son, and so he was really rattled on my Okay, yes there are when you have ADHD, you are more likely to X y Z. Like all of these statistics are out there, but you have to do the work. But there is a great life out there, so he's really owning it in a way that I'm very proud.

You now have two people you love in your life who are very different but suffer have are dealing with the same thing. Do you find you have to deal with each of them different. I'm always when I meet people who are caretakers for people who have chronic illnesses. I'm fascinated by the person who's dealing with the chronic illness, because I think that's a whole journey out of itself. But I'm so fascinated by the caretaker. You're not a caretaker, but you are a mom and a wife to these gentlemen.

And what does it cost you or give you to play that role?

Well, thank you for the question.

In our house, ADHD is an explanation, it's not an excuse. So it might explain why my husband leaves the house without shoes on and gets to the place and realizes he has it explains it. But I'm not his executive functioning, nor my son, so they he has to come, I'm not going.

To bring him his shoes. By the way, this happened like last month.

So I so they still have to take responsibility for their actions. Again, I think that it's a what is the term, like it's a delay, not like it's my son is just more delayed.

So I have to say I have.

To offer a lot more grace, like the I still have to remind in ways you wouldn't think you would have to remind a fourteen year old. And my son or my husband has done the work and takes all responsibility for his stuff. Like we came to la and we had some stuff to do yesterday, but then we also we staying at a hotel with this great pool.

He didn't bring a bathing suit.

But he's like, oh, well, like here we are, so like he figured that out.

I wasn't going to be my problem.

So I I would say, in the beginning, actually looks it looks so good naked.

Everybody wins.

So I would say in the beginning, it was people would joke, oh, it's like you have three kids.

I never found that was funny.

But I did take on the executive functioning role for everybody in my family. And then I had to do my own work and stop that. So and so I'm much more. I think I'm in a better place now.

It's it's super important that if you're able, if you're an adult, and you have ADHD, and you have someone who loves you enough to work with you on this, to just acknowledge, like anything you can do to help lighten a mental load that you probably can't even fathom how heavy it is, especially if you're raising kids. I think it does wonders to help that relationship out. So I'm trying to do that. But I also yes, I had to walk barefoot into a restaurant to get carry

Like, we're littered with these sort of nightmare stories of what's going on.

And but in fairness, you deal with my crap.

Oh yeah, yeah, that's the next part.

So diagnosed my crap but so I think that that's so I on my high anxiety days like and when you when you walk with anxiety. Some days are like I'm in the middle of the grocery store and I see spaghetti sauce and I'm like, I have to abandon the car because I'm like, I don't know why, but I'm this is like And so I call him. I'm like, hey, dude, we're You're gonna have to pick this up. And he's like, I got it.

I'm on it. So I think that we match each other's crazy.

You figured you figured it out. So I want to get a couple of thingsmer. Is this on a spectrum? I think you're probably gonna say, yeah, as a spectrum of ADHDD.

Oh god. Yeah.

And not only that, they're they're snowflakes, right, There's just so many different types of ADHD and types of people.

It gets along super well with other disorders.

Yeah, yes, yeah, the moon fases lineup with autism anxiety.

I mean, like you can have ADHD and then a lot of times you'll have other stuff as well, dyslexia sometimes.

If we may to the awesome part, yeah, so awesome.

We chose that word carefully and we chose it intentionally, knowing that it might get some attention and it might have people say, what the hell are you talking about the first page.

Of the words I said when I met you few.

Exactly And yeah, there's been there's been some of that too. They're like, this is not this is remarkably unawesome.

How dare you?

Yeah, if you open the first page of the book, it has the definition of awesome, which did you know it means inspiring, great admiration, or fear? It could it means the way that awesome used to be used in the English language was freaking terrifying.

Yeah, Goliath was awesome. Yeah.

I think that ADHD is powerful. I think that it's incredibly impressive. When you are able to perform in certain ways, your brain gravitates toward creativity and things that interest you, and it makes its way onto successful content because of the same thing that causes you to fidget. Okay, all of those things you talked about as a child, fidgeting, having trouble focusing. It's what makes you creative. But it was survival, not not like, oh boy, am I thank you?

It sucked. It sucked. ADHD sometimes sucks.

Most of the time I told you my story, it sucked, but I realized, and this is really the crux of the book, that that same type of brain is prone to phenomenal outside the box thinking, creativity, pure joy from time to time, and great potential. But yes, it is scary. It leads to things burning down inside the house. And so the true sense of the word awesome, I think it fits. But sometimes I have to explain that to people so they don't throw the book at me.

And can you tell I know they're in the book Ways to Maneuver that you found to Maneuver and trick it that somebody listening may now say, oh, that was actionable for me, but save me.

Yes.

So, whether or not you're on medication, there are behavioral interventions and systems that everyone who has this type of brain need to put in place. Any doctor will tell you that whether or not you're on medication, and most people just do them organically. Like I'm sure you have some systems in place in your life that you're not even aware of, Like do you let's see, like do you have a specific place where you have to put your keys?

Are you a forgetful type of person?

I'm not forgetful on the opposite. But OK, yes, I'm not forgetful because I do have systems in place.

Right, so you've been putting them in place, like I have weird stuff. I so I for the longest time, and I know I did this last night, so I'm not perfect. But for a very very long time, I just forget to put the toilet seat down.

It's gross.

I'm sorry, but like guys like they one way, and so I just started sitting down every time I peed. I'm like, forget it. I'm just gonna sit down every single time. It's a long trip for me. But I'm going to go down there and I'm going to guess and.

It's quite tall, but those of you are not launching on YouTube and I'm going to get back up. And that's like, that is a system you put in place because I love you.

Yeah, because the super loves me.

Also, he has a magnet on top of his car because he's also a giant.

He could see the top of his car.

But he was walking out every morning and putting a coffee cup there and then getting into the car and then splat goes like the plate of eggs of the coffee cup. So the magnet doesn't hold anything, but it's just that visual interaction.

You can I ask you dumb questions because I did this and I'm not proud of it a couple.

Of weeks ago, and I was cognizant. I wasn't rushing and I don't forget stuff and I pulled out of the gas station with things still in the Yeah, so that didn't interduce to the second time I've done it.

In ten ures.

So you never told me that I walked out of the gas station. This time it popped out and I ran and put it back in and left. The last time before that, I didn't know. They're made to break off and then they will charge you. Unfortunately, I know that.

Too, because.

Well, Jason, you are brains.

We get to the gas station and we like, remember we put the thing in, and then we maybe we clean out the car while it's filling up, and we use the hand sanitizer and we take it out. But their brains, they they're so busy, they're on to next step. Yeah, So it doesn't enter your working memory the way it

When you began dating, though, I'm not just being sweet A very good looking, so handsome, and you seem as lovely a human being as I've met.

So obviously you go on a date and you go, this is great, amazing.

Then this stuff starts to hear and at some point you have to go, I can't handle it. It's worth it, It's worth it, It's worth it. What was that moment where you went.

Oh, I see what the whole package is here.

I will say all of the things that I fell in love with if you, if you unravel it, are as adhd He The first time I saw him, he was doing the worm at a dance club on the stage and into a backspin and he landed like this, and I told my friends, I'm like, stand back, that's my husband. Like I was like, that's him, I'm sorry and so and then very quickly I'm just the conversation, the impulsivity, like all of those things are why I fell in love.

But then, but unfortunately, the answer to the question is it was when we were engaged and we had to live in a New York apartment with like one room.

In a lot more than that.

I mean, this is a very small space. And so yes, we got there, but I found it to be incredibly charming. And then once you we had to work out our stuff. It is and and we got there, but it was it was an adjustment.

I think it's great before we got a run. But I want to ask you the final question about influencers. Every kid wants to be an influenced today. Everybody wants to be an influencer. How big the podcast, how you guys are sensation. But it must be the amount of work to do that successfully. It has to be a full time and you're churning out stuff and you have a staff and whatever. Because you're putting up videos were you're doing parody songs, you're doing.

Shich by the way, you're singing and driving at the same time, and with a person with a d AHD.

I'm not sure.

I want to condone very very happy to say that those are those are either on closed roads or I'm not actually driving and we're making it.

Look if you can just.

Wrap it up by explaining people what it takes to have a success, be a successful influencer, and have other revenue streams, because right now everybody at home is trying to be an influencer and find the thing.

Was it organic? Did it just happen and then you figured out how to build it?

Yeah, So we both started in local news, and so if honestly influent video influencing and YouTube didn't exist when we started, we made thirteen thousand dollars a piece, and we were one man bands. If you guys ever knew anybody who used to be in the news, we all I wanted to be Matt Lauer, not anymore.

She wanted to be Katie Hurrik.

And so we would haul a camera and we would go home, we would edit it, and then we would throw in a tie or make up or whatever and go and do the news. And then for years and years we did that, hoping that we could get to the point where we'd be like the anchor sitting at the desk talking like that, and that was sort of the brass ring. But as it turned out, we quit

Yeah, and so I convinced him to quit his job in twenty thirteen. I said, I think we have enough clients. We had two kids, two months in savings, and I said, I think we have enough clients with like a real estate, a bank, or a dentist that we could offset your salary. And we had to like buy benefits in the whole thing. But we were so miserable. So I'm like, or we'll go work it in the grocery store like we're There was no ego in it. I said we should do a video to kind of announce this, and then we

Is that a song? Is that a sketch? And so we get to make stupid videos every day and yeah.

But the the part about it that's crazy is that like starving local news job where we had to do three stories a day and shoot our own stuff and edit our own shot stuff suddenly became valuable again in the influencer space. She can shoot, I can shoot, we can both edit, and you know, like we have people help us do it right now. But for the most part, if you want to be an influencer, you're asking that question. Learn how to edit, learn how to write, and be yourself.

And I also hate the word influencer. I think that word you like to call it. I don't know. Like content, I don't know.

I think we are content creator, but you're influencing people in a way. So how big is your audience at this point?

Like, well, there's like five million on Facebook and a million something on Instagram.

Do you ever worry to you? Do you guys sit down and go, oh, the numbers drop. We've probably got.

Two more years and this is going to be another co No, We're constantly worried that people are going to be sick of us and then we'll just go work at like Starbucks.

I think the reason it works is because we were reluctant influencers, if you will, like this wasn't the dream, and so I think we we get to do these cool things and if it works, it works. If it doesn't, that's fine, Well, you.

Know what your stuff is dorable? Check out the website.

I hate it's just a word adorable because it's smart, it's funny, and there's another part of it that's just the fact that you too, work at it people get to see that that this is not a solo mission.

There's also I was going to say what I get from hanging with you guys a little bit is you're not only showing you know, kind of how do you make your way dealing with any kind of a condition, But you too are very serious about having a working marital relationship. And I think that you know, there's not enough emphasis on that's a huge thing. Yeah, to you know, being with somebody and being dedicated to that and making it work. You have to put some thought and effort

Come me tack podcasts, all the all the things, all thank you. That that means a lot. And we say it all the time. We'd rather be married than do whatever it is. This is, so that is being married is the priority.

We came up with the dumbest idea ever for a video and we shot it yesterday and we had so much fun in Los Angeles, and I think we may be recruiting Jason to be the button on the video.

Okay, well that's great if you could be in the dumbest video I have ever on.

It's not done.

It's really done by dumb I mean, it's really fair. Okay, all right, check you have to check it out there.

Said yes, we'll get the attorney wid negotiation. I know you can hear me because you can hear a lot of things at the same time.

So just put in the word. By the way, you have to call the lawyer, the agent, the whole bit. Yeah, yeah, of course.

Okay, thank you, because I have a different kind of condition called additional people that I carry.

Penny Kim holding the stank somebody is really a pleasure and it resonated. This one resonated for me in such a big ways to think, thank you, thanks for having us.

Well, they were what a lovely what a lovely couple? Literally yeah, stunning and also just yeah, wonderful. It was a really interesting thing.

And for me, I don't know, it's just with you, but when somebody's talking about something that you are you have, it's it's wow. And I would see I tell the story or something, and he would light up because.

You go, well, the first time that you've been sort of seen by someone else who's in the I mean, you must.

Have met people who suffer from me.

I never talk I've never talked about it. I've never I'm kind of a private person and I've never talked about the ramifications of my day and how I have the function to do stuff and why I have stuff written and highlighted and it really is that.

Yeah, So it feels good. So is that sort of reaffirming for you?

It's comforting because it makes you feel like I'm not nuts, you know, in certain aspects.

Yeah, David Googa tme. How are you, sir? Doing very well? Doing very well? How are you guys? You guys are good.

We are living they as far as we can tell, with our limited capacities and our initialized conditions, we are fine.

Well, that's good enough for me.

Jason, you had mentioned earlier, I'll question about hormones and ADHD and is there a correlation there. I just want to step one bit back before I get to that, because there is a discrepancy in the who hasn't the percentages as far as between men and women. Now, men are three times more likely to be diagnosed with ADHD than women. Now there's a lot of speculation and discussion

Well, thank you for that, But I wonder why, you know, honestly, I do wonder why.

Brain chemistries, which is basically I guess what we're talking about here because I don't well, but if there is a genetic factor to this thing, I wonder what the gene is that you know wires our brain chemistry to.

Them, Well, we don't know the gene.

We do like, we don't know the gene with a lot of things genetic, but we do know the brain chemistry you're liking because as soon as they give you the right medication to restore that brain chemistry, like for me, it was instantaneous.

It just worked, It just worked, and it was wow.

Yeah, thank you Dave, thank you our friend, thank you Laurie, and thanks to everybody, Kim and Penn Holderness and check and luck to you on your ever, ever more profitable journey to help and wellbeing.

Peter Till, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, as.

Another episode of Really No really comes to a close. And now you're wondering, who are some other famous and successful people who navigate life with ADHD And I'll give you that answer, but first let's thank our guests, Pen and Kim Holderness. You can follow the Holderness family on Facebook, YouTube, Instagram, TikTok, and Pinterest where they are the Holderness Family. Their website is the Holderness Family dot com and you can hear

Nothing life changing, obviously, but it's the thought that counts.

Check out our full episodes on YouTube, hit that subscribe button and tick that bell. So here updated when we release new videos and episodes, which we do each Tuesday. So listen and follow us on the iHeartRadio app, Apple podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts. And now the answer to the question, who are some other famous and

Can surely deal with ADHD.

Hotel Eiris and media influencer Paris Hilton might say that's hot to ADHD. Tom Cruise does not believe ADHD is a mission impossible. Both Michael Jordan and Magic Johnson can sink a three pointer with ADHD.

Walt Disney never.

Got distracted in his theme parts due to his ADHD. Beethoven, Mozart, and Handel could all write a gorgeous ADHD sonata. Whoopi Goldberg surely has a view on ADHD. Muhammad Ali could float like a butterfly and sting like an ADHD. It's no wonder. Stevie Wonder could play every instrument in the world with his ADHD. Van Go and Picasso could paint a rosier picture of ADHD. Steve Jobs and Bill Gates

Look like child's play.

Really no, really is the production of iHeartRadio and Blaise Entertainment h

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