Pete Davidson

The guy did, like, stunt work with you from The Punisher. He did, like, I had to do this one stunt in my show where, like, they put you on this thing, you get pulled, you go flying, all that stuff. I've never done that stuff before. And I...

I have huge balls, so I couldn't get it into the... He's like, go in there, put it on, and you know, fucking, you know those guys. The harness. The harness. Yeah, that's a motherfucker, bro. I was like, yo, I was like, I can't get it in there. Yeah, yeah. It'll pop. Like, I'm afraid you'll pop one of my balls, and honestly, like...

The stunt's not working. Like, I don't care. Like, but I can't lose my balls. And the guy goes, that's ridiculous. I got Berndthal in this thing for the Punisher for two seasons. There's no way you can't fit it in there. We had Berndthal flying everywhere with his giant cock. And I was like, oh, okay. And then I tried to put it in front of him and he went, I don't believe this. He goes, it doesn't fit.

And I was like, Bernthal's the man, dude. Dude, that's a great story. I was like, that was like braggadocious, like strong, like stunt guy. I was like, Bernthal got a huge job. We got to lose the part that goes around the balls. Hey, what's going on, everybody? It's John, Bam Bam the Dog. First, on behalf of both of us and everybody from the Real Ones team, I just want to sincerely thank you guys for tuning in. The folks that I bring on the show.

They're family to me. And being able to tell their stories and bringing you into their world is something I'm just super proud of. And again, grateful that you guys tune in. We've decided we want to take things just a step further to Patreon community. And basically what that means is if you become part of this community, look, I already bored Bam Bam.

If you want to become part of this community, you're going to be able to hear episodes early and all that, ad free and all that good stuff. But there's all this behind the scenes footage, all this stuff that we've shot that really brings you into the folks that we've had on the show, really brings you into their world.

with me and the folks that I bring on the show to talk about their world, talk about the issues that they're dealing with, about their triumphs and their tragedies. Just go to Patreon slash real ones on this website that you see. right there, right on the screen, that's right in front of you. This whole idea was something about building bridges and bringing people together and bringing folks that...

often don't get the mic and giving the mic to them. So the fact that you guys tune in means the world. Anyways, again, thank you. Be good to each other out there. Rock and roll. There's like a boldness.

and a bravery in making shit that's personal to you. And there's a boldness. Like, I can't, like, I've always been so... Just envious and, you know, honestly jealous of stand-ups because it's like all you motherfuckers need, like all you fucking need is to like go and like stand in front of people. Like you don't need to be fucking cast in nothing. Like you don't need to fucking like make a song and hope somebody fucking...

and plays it on Spotify. Like, you can show up, get in front of that mic, and you can just fucking throw the fuck down. And I think that's so... cool i think it's the bravest thing you can do and and i know with you like so much of your art it is it's it's like it's it's it's it's personally driven and and um

you know that comes out of cost like I like that comes out of cost expose yourself that way and I think that there's it's different than you know playing a role it's different than like doing a sketch about something else you know and I understand that there must be like a real feeling of betrayal if then people who, you know, you throw that out there because you think you want to reach somebody or you think you're in sort of like a nurturing environment where you'll be supported by that.

like people turned? I think what happened was I became more known before the work was there. But I was always working. And, you know, because I've, you know, look, I'm in my 20s and I've dated people. And for some reason that is... very crazy and interesting to people i don't think it's that interesting i've been in show business for half my life almost for like 14 15 years and uh on a national tv show and i am in

12 years, I've dated like 10 people. I don't really think that's that crazy. But to some people, it seems very interesting. That became sort of like all anyone would talk about. And it was confusing because like I'm not on Instagram. I'm not like on social media. I'm not like flexing. You know what I mean? And these people that I've dated, like I met them at work.

Like, I wasn't in anyone's DMs. No one was in mine. Like, I worked at one of the five Hollywood epicenters of meat, where you meet people. Of course, yeah. and that's just who i was working with and who i was around and like that's how it happens and i don't have control over you know like a dude who's a paparazzi guy who's trying to you know feed his family that's trying to snag a pic like i even get i get what he's doing and because i could i could be on instagram and be like

to this article actually cosmopolitan that is not true you see my mother and i live in the same house but i have an apartment in the basement i don't live with my mom but like who the wants i don't gotta defend i don't feel like i owe that to anyone but it affects the people around you and then all of a sudden you're in this fucking zeitgeist and everything that's spoken about you has zero to do with the work and that is a really shitty

feeling like look I think for an outsider like when I'm looking I'm looking like wow here's here's this kid man who's like got it all he's on the show and like On that show, his life is just like it's bigger than the show. And he's becoming this unbelievably talented comedian. But now he's also becoming like the butt of his own jokes. And I always like didn't like I imagine that that.

got like fucking frustrating after a while. It was confusing. Confusing. Here's the thing, like, hey, man, I'm cool with the joke. I'm cool with my friends do it. I get the late night jokes. Like, you see, Pete, it's fucking, I get it. When it's your own show. And, you know, like, I'd be sitting in the back watching the cold open. And, you know, the cold open is topical political humor or whatever, whatever's in the culture. And then making fun of you. And then you got to walk out.

do a sketch next and hit your mark and the show just made fun of you so why are they gonna laugh at you like they just dogged you in front of everyone and then you're you step out there and you're like wearing a fuck you dress like a clock or something you're like you're like i'm a fucking loser man and like these are people i've been with for almost a decade like i grew up in front of these people they've watched me through the most difficult times in my life and they've been there for me and

And nobody's ever shown more love and grace and leeway than Lorne Michaels. And I owe my life to that guy. But like it was fucking confusing because it's the nature of entertainment. It's the nature of this business that like at the end of the day. You know, that's what it is. And it just was a really difficult thing to do. You feel small. You feel super insecure. And I'm already a very insecure person.

And now I'm insecure in the place I'm supposed to feel the most safe. And like it, you know, luckily we squashed it, talked about it and fixed that part of it. But it took me a while before I felt comfortable to even say that. Yeah. And yeah, it was fucking weird. And it's still weird, you know.

to to make your art super personal like you you you go up there and and and and you reveal yourself like you you do that you know it's like this fucking cop from fucking la like gives you a fucking sweatshirt with your

pops his initials on it like that's heavy as fuck that's super heavy like it's heavy as fuck and like the fact that like he knows this like intimate fact about like that's some shit that i can't even really begin to process i'm trying to grow into the man i want to be but i think you're doing i'm being watched

For sure. And I can't even begin to understand sort of the magnitude of that. But I think, I guess it's like you have these two things. It's like these two things at play, right? Because like... massively fucking like successful right and then like you have these like giant fucking like public relationships right where like you know every fucking man in America is like

you know jealous as fuck or whatever they think and so I think there's also part of it I imagine where people think like wow this dude is operating

It must be so fucking good to be Pete Davidson. Like, motherfuckers are probably... And you're sitting there, like, throwing all this shit out here. Like, crying, looking at my old yearbook photos. What happened to you? What happened to you? i literally was crying i like uh this is really funny this is the perfect this is what it's like to be p davidson yeah please i finally get this place right okay and like i've been trying to get a place forever i'm always like i'm kind of like

I don't know. I'm a nomad. I'm just always in, like, different pockets of places or whatever. And I finally get this place. I'm all excited. I got it all jacked up, the works. I had, like, a guy come in and do it, like an adult, and, like, figure out how to, you know, do manly stuff around the house while I sit there in my bathrobe. And smoke cigarettes and drink chamomile tea. And, you know, I just like I couldn't get the fucking TV to work.

And the blinds wouldn't close. And I couldn't. And I just started hysterically crying. Because, like, it's all I wanted was just to watch, like, Family Guy. And that's all I wanted, John. Like, just so badly. I've seen the episode. I just really wanted to watch it. And I was just... on the floor hysterically crying and laughing going, I have everything and nothing. I have everything and nothing. And that's what it's like.

But it is But I'm great I'm so great Because you're right I mean I get street love Which is like Honestly That's all that fucking matters The internet's not real Fuck all that But you gotta learn How to like Yeah

Yeah, yeah. Like you said, you were starting as a kid. But I want to ask you, man, because you're laughing and crying. Yeah. And back in the day, would you say... you were just crying? What is the laugh? The laugh is like, I can't fucking believe I did this shit. I lived in the same room with my mother and my dad until I was four. None of us are in the entertainment industry.

My mom was begging me to take the garbage man test every year. So I was like, still when I was on SNL, she was like, you might want to take it. Might not work. You know, I read a lot of those cast members. They just, one and done. Just fizzle. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They're fizzling. They're fizzling. All of a sudden, my mom's working at CIA.

Yeah. And so I laugh going just like, man, just like, oh, man, my dad would laugh, dude. My dad would be just like that fucking funny dad on set. And I just laugh because, you know, my family, my dad and his dad. my grandpa got me really into movies and i just that's what's so funny what kind of did you watch with them uh so my dad made me watch all stallone my dad was stallone nut so i was my parents got divorced uh i was

He was like five, six years old. My dad would come over his house. He had one bedroom. We would be in his tighty-whities, one sock on, smoking a cigarette, the filter, and just like, hey, what's up? And then we would watch Rambo. And he'd be like, this is Stallone. like he was fucking just badass dude just old school just didn't give a fuck like the best and then my mom would walk in and be like Scott like what the fuck he's five and he would just go stole up he stole up and like you know I just

So I knew all the Rocky movies growing up, and I wanted to be Rocky and knew all the run times, and Carl Weathers was an athlete. I just knew everything about Stallone. I was so inspired by his story because he was like... You know, his famous story is they didn't want him to play Rocky, and he was like, fuck you.

He was right. And that's like, I just love that. His story in itself. Did your dad tell you that? Yeah. And he taught me that. And he was like, that guy, he's fucking cool. He believed in himself. And then my grandpa just. He's super like autistic in like in a movie way where he so he's actually I think the first bootlegger. So my grandpa has so his dad owned a.

a movie theater in Brooklyn growing up and he was obsessed with movies and he has, I think, I don't want to get it wrong because he'll call me. He knows everything. He's so, he's 84 years old so he'd be like, I read on the Instagram. That you're dating Ice Spice. And I'm like, it's a rumor. He's just like, all right. So he knows everything. But I think he has like 4,000 or 5,000 VHS tapes that he personally sat on.

Watch the tube and record the movies. So we'll have like 8,000 tapes with five movies on each of them. has a full Leonard Moulton's guide, his own reviews, so he'll be like, yeah, pick a, he's proud. He'll go over and he'll be like, pick an index card, any movie, go ahead, whatever. And I remember, because he's old, so it was like. He goes, pretty good movie, pretty good acting, movie about dinosaurs, Jurassic Park. That's what his review is.

Pretty good movie about dinosaurs. Like he's insane. So I was just obsessed with film and Abbott and Costello and all slapstick and he made me watch all that shit. you know that's where all that love for that so that's where that laugh comes from just like I can't believe my insane grandpa who would bootleg movies and like he would LimeWire he would he'd call me and be like Peter

You heard of LimeWire? And I'm like, yeah, what's up? He's like, I got the town. I was like, what? He goes, I got the town. He goes, I give it to you for like $3. He goes, seriously. He's like, I give it to my friends for five, but my grandson, my 12. He's like, give it to three. And I'm like, I think you're going to go to jail, dude. He's like, what? And so there was, he's just a movie nut. So that's where that laugh comes from.

Wow. Did you meet Stallone? I don't think I've ever met him. I'm pretty sure I've never met him, but weirdly, my grandpa went to school with Harvey Keitel, and he'll tell everyone that we'll listen. like a waitress who'll be like what's your order he'll be like i went to school with harvey yeah so when i was a kid when my dad my my pop passed he called harvey and was like he's a big stallone fan can you get

Can you get an autograph or whatever? And Stallone wrote To Peter, Keep Punching, Sylvester's song, on like the great Rocky III where he was just like golden god, commercial rock, like perfect. And yeah, that was like the coolest thing I had for a really long time.

That's great, man. Fucking Salone just texted me last week and he signed it. No bullshit. Keep punching. Yeah. No bullshit. I love it, dude. It's so dope, dude. That's awesome. Yeah. Dude, and I will. Yeah. I remember reading that being like, okay.

Meanwhile, he was probably taking a shit, just like, who's this for? Peter? All right, whatever. But to me, it changed my life. Fuck yeah. Fuck yeah. And that's what people don't realize, how much that means to people. That's right. You know? That's right.

Yeah, I fucking, the same thing with Stallone, man. I love the shit out of him. And then we ended up doing a movie together and it was like cataclysmic. It was just like a complete fucking disaster with him. You know, it was like my second son had just been born, and it was a boxing movie. It was like he was fighting De Niro, and I played De Niro's son. I love that movie. You love that movie? Travesty to you.

Heroic to me. Dude. I loved it, dude. Kevin Hart is the promoter. Fucking Kevin. I got a story about that, too, bro. I was so bad, dude. I got four for you. Bro, that movie. So I'm doing fucking Grudge Match. I had just done Wolf of Wall Street. And so Marty had, they knew that I boxed. So they were like, hey, look, we got this idea. You're going to play De Niro's son. It's like fucking De Niro. Like I'll do any, you know what I mean? And you're going to play De Niro's son, but.

since you fight, we're also going to do this flashback fight and you're going to play like the young De Niro and do all the boxing. And I'm like, fuck yeah. So fucking, just on Wolf Wall Street. So Marty gives me all these tapes of Jake LaMotta and De Niro as a young man training. So I'm like, I'm like.

I'm, like, learning his technique. I'm, like, I'm copying his shitty fucking technique, and I'm, like, learning all this shit. And, you know, man, I love De Niro, right? Like, I fucking love De Niro. And, like, I love Stallone, too, you know. But...

So when I go down, we're like go down for fittings or whatever it is down in New Orleans. And my son was born super early. Like he was like almost eight weeks early. Like he spent like his first two months in the NICU. And like he wasn't getting out of the hospital. He was healthy. to work out but like he was like three pounds it was like all fucked up and

I was in New Orleans for the shit, and then I flew home basically. My son was getting out of the hospital. It was going to be the first time I was actually going to be able to really get to hold him and be with him. And when I landed in L.A. from New Orleans, I get this call being like, yeah, Sly wants you back.

in uh new orleans for boxing rehearsal i'm like for what and he's like for boxing rehearsal and i'm like the fuck is he gonna like tell me about boxing like you got to get back on a fucking plane you got to go back for boxing or something like I didn't leave the airport I'm like motherfucker I'm like okay cool so I go back and I like get my ticket I go back to fucking New Orleans I get there I take the button like we go to this like warehouse gym Right. And we go to this gym and there's like.

posters of sly like all over like he had posters of himself all over the wall like like murals and shit and he's in the the ring and De Niro's in the ring with him and like you know fucking sly's in like great shit and like De Niro's like you know he's green Yeah, he put in an effort, but these guys are in their 70s. I walk in, I just have my boxing bag, and as soon as I walk in, he's like, yo. And I was like, what's going on? He goes, yo, you're next. And I was like, okay. And I start like.

wrapping up my hands, you know, whatever. And I just, like, fucking, I start beating on this fucking bag. And they get done in the ring and fucking Sly just calls it. He's like, all right, everybody go home.

And I'm like, what the fuck did I come here for? And he goes back into the back, right? So I'm just like sitting there. I flew all the way back here for no fucking reason. But his stunt double, this guy, Greg Rementer, is now like a huge fucking stunt coordinator. Great guy. He's like, hey, man, you want to spar? He's like, we're here.

You might as well, yeah, let's fucking spar. Like, we're here. So we start going in the room. We start sparring. This woman comes out of the back, and she goes into my bag, right? And, like, there's, like, rules in a box. Like, you don't...

touch other people's fucking changes in life. She's like, you're just like, don't touch. Fair enough, right? Hey, lady, don't touch my bag. She's like, going in my bag. We're like sparring. She's like, going in my bag. And I'm like, what are you doing? She's like, you have this boxing liniment in here. I had this like Thai boxing liniment, which is like.

this shit you can only get in fucking tight end super hard to get i would rub it in my knees before i would like spar some like if i really need it like numbs your knees so you can move good and she's like sly loves this shit i'm gonna take in the back i'm giving him a massage i want to rub it on his back i'm like he just went into my bag

And she's like, yeah, but he loves this shit. Yeah, but he's a billionaire. Yeah, you know what I mean? Exactly. So, like, I'm fucking like, all right. You can get 40 posters in here. You can go get that fucking lotion. The lotion. It's like a little fucking jar, bro. Yeah, dude. So I'm like, all right, fucking take the lotion, right? So I go back in like I'm. sparring fucking Greg and we're doing our thing. He's beating the fuck out of me. And then...

And 45 minutes later, Sly comes out. He's like in a fucking nice-ass suit and a top hat. And he's like, yo, see you guys later. And he like walks by. And then the woman comes out. She goes, hey, by the way, we're just going to go ahead and keep that lotion because Sly really likes it. I'm like, what do you mean you got to keep it? Yeah, he really likes it. I'm like.

fuck this i sell my mouth car i like my headgear i like ran out and like chased someone on the street and i was like hey sly man like you know where i'm from if you want to borrow something from somebody you'd like ask them yourself you know what i mean and he's like yo and i'm like no man you took my shit he's like

I love you boxing my gym. And dude, he's like, well, fuck it. I'll give it back. And I was like, no, keep the fucking lid on me. You know what I mean? I'm like, but show me some fucking respect, man. It was so bad, bro. But I will say, I will say that after that, like me and him did really bond. He gave me a...

I have lots of different stories. But he, you know, man, he's great, man. He's great. And I reached out to him recently just because, like, I see what he's doing now. You talk about working. I don't know if you feel this way too, but it's kind of apropos of what we were talking about in the beginning. Like, you know, man, it's like there's certain people in life like I love.

fucking people in their 60s 70s and 80s who are still like fucking trying like just but like are just trying like are failing and like admitting that like are still like i really do look at at howard stern that way like like who who has like gone on to like

like keep evolving, keep pushing, like being happier in their personal life, keep like looking for change, keep trying to grow. And like, you know, Sly like put this interview out earlier this year, man, where he like just like kind of talked about.

His sort of, you know, you know, his failure with his failings, you know, with some of his family commitments and, you know, doing too many of his own fucking stuff. Like he's still looking at himself that way and he's doing great fucking work. And like, I don't know, I just I have a lot of respect for that. No, I love that dude, man.

I loved, as soon as I saw Tulsa King, I was like, when I saw it, I was like, I hope this is what I, in my wet dreams, this would be. And it was. It's just him being like, this is a doobie. Oh my God. I'm like, this is all I want. I'm going to fuck up everyone in this room now. It wasn't, like, serious. It wasn't, like, it's, like, it's playful and fun. And, like, I'm happy to see him being happy and fun. And that means a lot. Because you see somebody's dude getting a check, super checked out.

Okay. Banging out shit. Okay. And he still gives a fuck. Yeah, he doesn't have that. I don't think he's got that gear, man. No, he's writing, producing. That's right. He's everywhere. That's right. You gotta respect that. That's right. And he's mad as fuck about, like, the Creed stuff. Like, he's, like, still, like, you know what I mean? He's, like, calling out Earl.

and Winkler who's like 97. He's like, motherfucker stole my shit. You know what I mean? And it's like, it's true. Like, he created Rocky. Like, he did that. Like, that's fucking huge, man. Yeah, that's his legacy. Yeah, fuck yeah. That's his fucking shit. Like, I think fucking Copland is like fucking genius. You know what I mean? It's like fucking...

You know what I mean? And like, that's like probably Sly's best movie. You know what I mean? You know, I mean, it's fucking, yeah. That's a super underrated, slept on movie. Totally. Anything Mangold does, like that, he's a fucking, he's just a fucking gangster. He's just a fucking gangster.

So, so let me, man, I was thinking about, I was thinking about, uh, I think it was like your last Netflix special. And by the way, man, I hate fucking asking questions. Like I was watching your fucking, because like, but, but, uh, you do it in the best way. I don't know, man. I feel, yeah, I don't know. By saying I suck at it. Like that's, you know. mean but like I do suck at it but I uh it was really a joy for me man to to watch that and to me from like an outsider it seems like

That's easier for you, making yourself almost like the butt of the joke. Yes. But that's also, I think, what you're saying has caused you... a shit ton of fucking pain or shit ton of like feeling betrayed or feeling like anger, whatever that is. Um, I started doing comedy and you know, I didn't have many friends. I had like two that I would hang out with or my mom.

I think I was like, I can make fun of myself better than all of you. Like, like, you know, and it became sort of this, like, it made me feel like Teflon because, you know, I was just like, whatever joke you say.

I have a better one about myself. And also you're doing it on station. You're getting some sort of positive feedback. Some sort of positive feedback. And just like, you know, I'm the first person to laugh at myself. And when you do that, it opens up the crowd to, okay, so he's not taking himself too seriously. It's just like an approach for comedy that I think I like. Like, my favorite stand-ups do that. Like, Burr, Chappelle, Eddie. Like, all these guys, they tell personal.

I love one-liners, I love Rodney, but like, you know, I don't know anything about him after the thing. Right. Aside from like, and I love that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But like my, the people I, I like to like know them and I'm like, that way you hear their next special, they're talking about their wife, you remember from the other one and like.

You grow with these artists, you know, same with like music. You love their story or whatever. So I always loved that style of storytelling. And I felt that you could not get away with more, but you can if you, you know.

shoot yourself in the foot first and then it opens up for you to have you know people are more receptive to hearing what you have to say because you're not you know coming from an ego standpoint it's an egoless standpoint it's more of just like hey this is an idea this is fun i'm just trying to have fun

So that's why I always took that approach. And then, you know, because of the way my career turned down and the things that happened, it just opened the floodgates and it turned on me.

and now the last couple years I've just been trying to dial it back where, like, I don't want to not be open. I love talking to people. I love connecting with people. Some of the best conversations I've had have been at, like, bus stations with random dudes that are like, hey, I saw this weird thing you spoke about, whatever. And then...

that's like why you do it you know that's like what makes you happy like oh i'm so glad i did that i don't know why i was questioning myself for doing that um but you know now i'm trying to just share when it feels appropriate or or to share I don't feel like I have I owe anyone anything sure but um there is that certain element of like you know now because of the internet you sort of feel like you do have to kind of defend yourself a little bit where you're like, Hey man, like.

No, you know, so it's a tricky situation to be in because you don't want to come across as whiny or not grateful because I'm very grateful and I didn't change a fucking decision I made because I love the lessons I was taught the people I've met I'm not mad at anyone. I don't hold anything on anyone. I think everyone's just trying their best. And, you know, so that's just how I'm trying to live my life. But it's a hard thing to navigate.

you'll do something and then somebody will do something you'll be like hey and they're like well you fucking did a movie about your life that's right that's right and you're like all right yeah i get it i get it you know so that's why i'm trying to like you know just act be an actor if in something and not just be what people think is me the right like you'll show up to set and you're playing yourself and they're like

hey, I'm a big idiot with a dick that smokes weed. And you're like, Jesus Christ, this is what Oscar winners think of me? Oh my God. Like, that's humiliating. Like, oh my God. Like, you do it because you want them to like you and you want to work with people. That was my thing for a bit, but it doesn't have to be my thing.

forever and as i grow and learn it was one of your things bro yeah it was one of your things yeah like it's not one you're right and i mean like i think that like the genius was like oh it's like but i get i guess it's like to think that that doesn't come out of cost and what i really like it's like that 9 11 thing john like people

Oh, he's probably just talking about his dead dad all the time. It's like, yo, I made two jokes about my dad in a span of like 15 years. Like to act like I'm just like this, like feel bad for me. My dad, like that's just such. bullshit and it makes me feel like so small and shitty and like i'm trying to share little jokes here and there about them because like i like to keep that memory alive my dad was a great dude like why is that a fucking problem okay and like it

I get defensive. It's my family, you know? Anybody who's like fucking risked anything as a fucking artist, like to understand the boldness again and the bravery to fucking do that, like going to that, going to that spot, it's like, like I really fucking...

Admire and commend the fuck out of you for doing and you when you do you you're still going to go inward, right? I mean like always gonna go inward, but I think I I think there's a place for everything and now i learned that like okay me on stage with a microphone where i have full control and i could tell what i have the way i want to tell it that's the spot because that's my stand-up that's what i that's the outlet i want for it and i guess the

the struggle or like where i'm dealing with it and i'm getting better at is like you gotta just let people talk until you get you get to and your moment will come and it's about patience and that's like something i'm not good at it's like being patient and you can't

please everyone you can't fix every little thing some people are gonna think things that they heard on a website or saw on a fucking thing or someone's brother told them or whatever and there's nothing you could fucking do about it yeah the only thing you can control is like

who you have around you, what you put your energy into, and who loves you and who you love back. And that's something like, it's a hard thing to, it's like a weird thing for me to even grasp now because I've lived in discomfort for so long where that became comfortable.

So now I actually have people around me that love me, and it's weird. And that's like a whole new thing I never thought of. It's like, oh, it's weird being happy. Can you explain that weirdness? It's weird being happy. It's weird being like, I was at home the other day, and I was...

talking to my girl and my friends and I was like I feel fucking like weird like something like wrong and they're like what I'm like nothing's wrong yeah what is that is that like a peace of mind is that what you I don't know what I think I just like

Look, I hate to be that guy that's like anytime something looks up, because everybody gets kicked in the dick, and everyone gets kicked in the dick, it's the biggest to them because it's their life. So no one's struggle is bigger than anyone's because it's theirs. You know, no matter what the magnitude or who you are or whatever, it hurts just as much. Okay. So, like, I believe, like, everyone's struggle is very big to them. And I just...

I was just like crying. I was just like, I always feel like the walls are going to close in or something's going to be ripped out. And I've been doing a lot of therapy, like trauma therapy, trying to figure out why. I think there's obvious reasons why. PTSD from childhood or whatever. The sentence that my therapist and I have agreed on is my dad told me he was going to pick me up from school on 9-11.

I got picked up by my mom. She didn't tell me what was going on for like three days. And she kept telling me, Dad's at work, coming home, whatever. I had no idea.

And then I watched, I wasn't, my mom was like, you're just grounded. You're not allowed to watch TV. And I was like, what? Like, I didn't do anything. And then one night I turned on the TV and I just saw my dad on TV. And I was like, oh, okay. And they're like, these are all the firemen that are like dead and all that shit. So I was like.

And then I had to talk to my mom. It was weird because, like, we didn't know he was dead for, like, three weeks. They were finding people, you know. They were pulling people out of shit. And there was just some sort of hope. And, like, it was just up and down. Nobody knew how to deal with it. Like, my mom was fucking, like, 30. Like, she doesn't, like, I'm about to be, I wouldn't know what the fuck to do. And I, that's why, like.

as i get older i'm like man my mom was awesome i was like she really loves me like damn like that was like rough so nobody knew the right way to deal with it and you know whether or not that's right or wrong it still fucks the kid up or whatever so I have this and I also have BPD and a little PTSD mix which is borderline personality disorder and

So the definition of that is fear of abandonment. So, you know, dad says he's coming to pick you up. He doesn't. For life, I'm just like, I don't believe anyone. And I'm trying to learn how to believe people. And Hollywood isn't exactly the greatest place.

to learn that skill dude yeah you know so like and you've been in it for a fucking minute at starting at a young age so i went from like traumatic life to like new created high school traumatic life because like Hollywood's like high school where it's like the cool kids and the dicks and the fucking but the cool people are actually the quiet people it's like fucking weird and um it's you know so now you know it's the worst place for me to grow but I'm

I love this shit. I'm going to do my best I can and just keep doing that. But that's, I think, where it comes from. And that's why I have a hard time trusting and believing people. And it's been an issue throughout. my whole life like it's it's it's you know because I just someone will tell me something and I just it doesn't register it's starting to with some people because they've been around long enough yeah and can you give me an example of that

Like something that's working, like a technique that you're using or like something or just, I mean, I just like, I look at people's character and, you know, I've never had to. I go, do you have to question this person? Has this person fucked you over in any way? Has this person lied to you? Has this person ever been anything but whatever? Or if you had anything with them, did you work it out? Is this guy a dog? Is this your dog?

And that's you got to fact check yourself. And if the facts check out, you can't let yourself think that way. You actually have to trick your brain because your brain. after a while becomes used to trauma, becomes used to being hurt, becomes used to being fucked over. So you'll have that mentality and have that attitude. You might even like make it happen.

Because you're so insecure and you might create a problem out of nothing. And that's a lot of times that's what's happened. How do you check yourself on that? Like, how do you how do you become how do you become aware of that? Well, it's just growth, man. Like I used to.

I've been self harming since I was like a kid you know I used to like cut and up until a year ago I used to cut and used to bang my head against walls because like when if i couldn't deal with something like if someone told me something sad or like i something i couldn't deal with i would like bang my head against the wall Hoping I would pass out because I just didn't want to be in that situation because I couldn't handle that and like over

Years and years and years it's it becomes less and less and less and you have to use these skills And this is great workbook that I recommend. It's called the DBT workbook It's dialectical behavior therapy and it teaches you these skills like Okay, you want to cut right now? Go take a cold shower. Listen to your favorite song. Jerk off. Watch a movie. Go call your friend. Do anything. Do anything you can.

that feeling most of the time goes away after like 15 20 minutes it's just you get this surge you get this like feeling and you got to know it's not real you got to you have it's fucking mind fucker because you got to trick your brain into being like No, you're wrong. You're trying to make me feel bad. You know, I'm actually good right now. And it's like it comes from this BPD has is very in common with black and white thinking, which is like something.

I still struggle with them. I've gotten a lot better, but it's still pretty bad where like everything's either all amazing and everyone, you're rocky, people throwing you fruit while you run or it's the worst thing in the world. And I had to learn that like. If one little thing isn't going the right way, that doesn't mean the whole ship sinks. It's just like, okay, remove that part, and you're okay, everything's fine. But you have to learn that. I would just lose it from little things.

And you have to learn how to... you know work through that and the impulse like the the impulse to do something like cut or bang your head or something like that do you pay attention do you sort of like in whatever way you kind of keep account like of the kind of situations or the kind of triggers yeah what it makes you want to do

specifically how I mean I had to do a bunch of shit like when I met John I was just coming out of like a lot of shit working on some like real anger stuff I had like real problems with violence growing up you know you never lick it

You know, you never lick it, but, like, you can. You get a handle on it. You can, man. You can. And you can actually, I think even more so, man, I think what's so, like, exciting and inspiring about it is I think you can make it work for you. I think you really can. I think you can make any. I think. Any crisis, there's a huge opportunity. Fuck yeah, man. And that's like, it's what.

kind of growing up but I mean shit man one of the things that like really worked with me was was really taking account of when those urges would come in what was setting it off what specifically it made me want to do how long did that duration how long was like the duration of like the impulse

to do that and like what could I do to sort of like quell that and what kind of situations like what kind of like even fucking environments were putting me in that do you feel like you have that sort of yeah well you're you're blessed and that's like a blessing to be able to like

to be able to call yourself out on stuff. Cause that's like a hard, it's like a hard thing where like, but I, yeah, you gotta own your shit. Like, you know, it happens to me a lot when I feel really helpless or I'm embarrassed or I feel ashamed. What makes you feel helpless?

You know, like if I upset someone, like, or if I accidentally say something the wrong way, because I know what it feels like to feel like shit. Everyone, you know, you feel like shit. You don't want anybody to feel like shit. And I had to learn that it's okay if you accidentally, like... make a joke someone doesn't like or like say something that triggers someone or like that doesn't mean they're even mad at you it's just like pause a second and like move on and

What I would do is like I would think, OK, I just ruined everything, whether it be in a relationship with a girl or my friend. Like, OK, now I have to fix that. And I keep talking about it and talking about it. And now it's a week long thing when like.

If you're in relationships or you're an adult or you have like coping skills, you're like, okay, that wasn't cool for five seconds. We're cool, whatever, like whatever, you know? And usually the other person is being cool. It's me that's like, I'm sorry. I'm like, I'm an asshole. You know?

And, you know, you get to a point where I have been getting a lot better, and it's a tough thing to watch yourself get better through because you feel really ashamed, like, if you hurt yourself in front of people, or I have boys that have, like, you know. That's why I have the best boys in the world just come up. They're like, all right, man, let's figure this out. This is scary. And they call me out, man. They're like, this ain't cool.

I have people that call my mom and they show I'm very blessed to have people like that. And I don't get mad. I always think like, man, I'm lucky I got friends like that. And it's because once you start to spin. Is that what it is specifically? I've been really open with my group. And they know me to a T. And if shit ain't right, they're the first to be like, hey, man, you good? What's going on? And you've got to build your group.

You have an amazing group. The people that look up to you and follow you, I think a really great reflection is people who like you. People who like you are fucking dope, hardworking, cool, amazing, bright. talented, interesting people. Like, all of them. And that's like, that just speaks so truly. That's how I knew you were dope.

Oh, shit, thanks, man. Because, like, the people who fuck with you, they're like, yeah, that dude. I tell you a really funny thing. That's funny. I thought you were talking about yourself. I didn't know you were talking about me. I was like, thanks, man. So this is, like, this is how. I knew you were my favorite actor, so me and my boys were watching a show of yours, and you were...

So I get me and my boys and I always get this feeling when I see a sex scene in a movie or a TV or whatever Maybe it's because I just grew up Catholic and you're going to go to hell, whatever. But I always get that feeling I'm watching it with my mom. Even if I'm with my boys, I'm like, I don't want to watch.

you know i don't want to see you large stroke like you know what i mean like i'm like i don't know but with you i'm like yeah yeah dude yeah get in there dude like we're rooting for you we're like yeah get get get it man like

That's how I knew you were my favorite actor. I was like, I'm watching you. That ugly motherfucker's fucking like, we can all fuck. You know what I mean? There's room for all of us. That dude's an animal and he deserves that right now. And he works really hard. And I'm so appreciative that he's getting some ass right now.

ears but yeah no but like yeah like that's the you're the only person and my boy was like yeah i do want to see you succeed in the bedroom like it's like that's hilarious like it's so fun it's so fucking funny and then you did the perfect show for me to watch That is so funny, dude. I don't know how I got there.

You know, you are known so much for you and you're extraordinarily like well known and shit. And I get that. And I get I get the pressure on that. I just I hope that I hope that that's easy. You know, I hope that and if it's not easy, I hope it gets easier.

Oh, thanks, man. It's getting easier because I'm starting to get, I guess, the game a little bit. Yeah. Yo, who are these guys to you? Some of the people that are here today? So Simon is my brother from another mother. We're just the same person. I met Simon 10 years ago on the Happy Madison lot, Sandler. When he had a Sony deal, he had a house on that dude. Talk about a dude who does it right.

That dude had a fucking house on the Sony lot with his boys in there. And I remember I had, like, a general meeting with, like, Alan Covert or one of his, you know, producers. And I was just, like, in my head, I was like, I wonder if I'm going to get to see the Sandman. Oh, my God. It's so crazy. And I'm sitting there, just like, just picture like, because I look this person, but like 19 just like fucking just like geeky, like my shoulders are up to here, just like so nerdy, just like this.

This is my idol. I auditioned for Big Daddy when I was like fucking four years old. So excited. Didn't know he was there. He just comes out giant. t-shirt with like a little bit of pizza on it and like basketball shorts and high socks and he's just like goes into the fridge gets a gator and he just goes hey did my wife send you here to make me seem fat

And I just went, huh? What? He goes, you're going to be all right, kid. He just walked out. And I was just like, what the fuck? So I just like went up to the top, the blacktop of that parking lot and was just sitting there chilling. And he had a, he's a basketball nut. So he has hoops everywhere. Simon's up there.

and Swartzen and we just played ball and we like kind of connected and then like weirdly like couple years later we we became friendly and now you know pretty much roommates and Alex I met uh I used to have social media and I wasn't really good at social media. I would post like just pictures of Tony Soprano in like the pool and be like Monday. Like I was like such a little thought.

like a little like thotty girl on Instagram. And I was just obsessed with The Sopranos. And I did this show in D.C. at the Arlington Drafthouse. And it was at the time I used to do meet and greets because, you know, there'd only be like 100 people, whatever. And Alex came. I think he was like 18 or 19 in college. And he just came up and he HBO back in the day before it was like streaming or whatever to get people excited. They would send like care packages in the mail.

And they sent, like, new season of Sopranos was going to come out, so they sent a Sopranos globe. It's actually a super rare globe, and it's hard to find. And I met him after, and he didn't ask for a picture or anything. He just was like...

He gave me this globe, and he was just like, hey, I stole this from my dad. I figured you would really like it. I was like, well, we just became best friends. And now he could ruin my life with a press of a button. And I trust him with everything. And he's, yeah, he's. He's my best friend. We just, yeah, it's a great, we got a great group now. And John, man, we're working on this Ramones script.

with uh netflix and we were introduced and just immediately we're just like oh yeah you get it you know and and we we worked together on uh on my show and just you know organic cool people meeting cool people that have very similar interests and uh and but more importantly like i respect them all as amazing human beings and i look forward to hanging with them so it's always a treat when you hang out with these guys fuck yeah

Yeah. Okay. Do you want to talk at all? I mean, it's up to you, but you want to talk about the new show at all? Oh, yeah. I mean, like, I'm excited. Well, why are you laughing? That's how you can tell it's good, though. When you're like, oh yeah, here's that. Me and my buddy Judah Miller and Dave Cyrus, who I've known for my whole time doing stand-up.

We were just like, let's just write something stupid and silly and, like, have fun. Like, who fuck cares if it goes anywhere? Like, we're just, let's exercise. And just so we do something. We wrote this really insane thing. And, like, as a joke, we were like.

Imagine Edie Falco is like my mom and like we'll get like Pacino or like a Pesci to play like the great. This would be insane. And then like it all just like happened. And it was really just like I wanted to work with my friends. You know, it's like. the people you love the most in this business, you don't get to see them as much because they're doing their own thing and it's hard and the people that are available mostly suck. That's right.

and wanna be around you and suck your energy and you know so I was like I just wanna work with my fucking friends and have fun one time and just tell it my way and we went to everyone and

We had a bunch of options, but Peacock was just like, yo, you can do whatever you want. You've worked with us for a long time, and Lauren got behind it, and I had a fucking blast, man. I'm in editing now, and when I see shit, I'm just like... oh wow that's cool we did that that's so cool it's like honestly like i don't mean to ever slight anything i've ever been in but this one i'm like it's the first time i've ever been like yo you see that like i want to tell i'm like

calling my buddies and being like, yo, you gotta come see this. This is insane. And if you know me, I've never been that guy. If someone would be like, hey, that was good. I'd be like, yeah, it was cool. But you're always like, I could have did this. Or I could have did this. And there is an element of that.

with this but I'm just overall just so touched that like anyone would do it let alone like legends like them like you're just like and it also gave me like this sort of like Pesci like the timing of this so like we didn't have a show because we wrote this version of a show and we had this actor attached and the last second he bailed out and we were shooting in like a month and we rewrote the whole show for this guy and

I was just fucking disheveled and I was shooting this thing in Australia and like I never shot a thing not in New York Atlanta or LA away from people and like that was a whole new experience where I was like oh you really alone in this shit and that's when I had like a new respect for actors

and people who work on a movie set like like yo this shit is fucking hard you gotta leave your family you're alone in the town you're stuck with your fucking thoughts all day you know you're lucky if you have one set friend like and It was at a time where it was like the internet was especially hot and I felt really low and this guy just bailed and I was like, fuck, I'm not doing this show. I was like, this is fucked.

Lauren called me and he was like, what about Pesci? And I was like, why did you say it like that? He was like. He's like, what do you mean? I was like, why'd you say it like, what about, I was like, the guy hasn't worked in fucking 30 years. Famously hates working and probably people like me. So like, why, what, he goes, well.

all that actors are waiting for is like a good part. And I was like, okay, cool. And then we set up this like conversation, this like meet and I like, you know, he's a very private guy. So like, I'll tell you.

stuff about him later so I don't I don't like to because he's like those memories are like for me and like I worked really hard to be able to get those memories and like I don't think anybody else should have them but but like Dude fucking changed my life, and he saved my life, and he liked the material enough to do it, but we had a really great conversation.

it was really honest and organic and we kind of hit it off and like it was out of love that he did it because he doesn't need to do anything and it like just it was I really needed it I needed that validation from someone like that like so badly like because like you know like I said when you're like going online and you're like I could deal with trolls but you're like Oscar winners you're like president shit you're like damn I'm a fucking loser and you're like

I got the guy no one could get. And like that fucking changed my life. Yeah. And I owe him everything. I owe everyone involved with it. And like, yeah, dude, I can't. It's the coolest shit. Every time he comes on, we're in the edit. We're like. We're like, holy shit. We're like, dude, that's fucking. You're like, holy shit. Even the outtakes where he's like, wait, what am I getting? You're like, you're just like a kid. I felt like a child. It was a really magical experience, and I'm excited.

Fuck yeah, dude. I cannot wait, man. Congrats, bro. Thank you, man. When did you start knowing that this was something that you were going to be enormously proud of? The first block, I was like a shit show because I just got home.

uh i didn't have any time to chill before like the i didn't have any time the process would just happen which i think was actually kind of great because i had to dive right into work but also i just like you know i wish i had a little time to figure stuff out so the first block was like kind of rough but then during the the second block as we did the first two i was just like oh my god like these are all my friends we're all working together everyone

We have an egoless set where it's like best joke wins. The best take wins. Whoever's ideas best wins because I want the best product. And like everyone I have here, I am a fan of. And they're my boys. doesn't get better than this does it and I like just had this moment where I was just like just enjoy this yeah because like I don't know when you get to do shit like this again you get to and I got to tell a story my way finally and like I'm comfortable with it and I don't

i don't watch anything where i'm like ah i'm like okay yeah yeah that's like you know and uh i just really wanted an opportunity to do that and close like not close a chapter as playing myself because i do want to do that but like I just did it right once. Yeah. And, like, I'm really happy about that. I'm so happy to hear that, man. Thank you, man. That's so cool. I'm stoked. That's fucking so cool, man. Yeah. It's exciting. Yo, who's that? Is there anybody else in there? Okay, good.

Alright, good. Demon's back, dude. He's back. No, no, I just didn't want him to get eaten by Bam Bam. Because he walked in like, well, if he wasn't in there too, yeah, he might have eaten him, bro. Yeah. So I was like, I might have to run over there real quick, bro. You know what I mean? I'm going to straighten Bam Bam out, dude. I'm going to bring his ass out here and straighten him out.

Did you see that, dude? He had him up against the door. You know what I mean? Hey, come here. Huh? Come here, dude. Uh-uh. Let's go. Come here, dude. That's awesome. Do you still have your balls? That's awesome. Oh, it's just that big. Of course, Berthal's dog has the biggest dick I've ever seen in my life.