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Quantum Refuge

Nov 14, 202548 minEp. 668
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Summary

This episode features Qasem Waleed, a 28-year-old physicist from Gaza, who describes his reality through the lens of quantum mechanics. Amidst devastating conflict, starvation, and personal loss, Qasem finds refuge and a unique language in concepts like superposition and quantum tunneling to explain the unimaginable conditions. He likens his existence to Schrodinger's Cat, trapped in a box, simultaneously alive and dead, and calls for the world to "open the box" of Gaza, revealing how counter-intuitive scientific ideas offer a visceral understanding of his profound suffering.

Episode description

Qasem Waleed is a 28-year-old physicist who has lived in Gaza his whole life. In 2024, he joined a chorus of Palestinians sharing videos and pictures and writing about the chaos and violence they were living through, as Israel’s military bombardment devastated their lives. But Qasem was trying to describe his reality through the lens of the most notoriously confusing and inscrutable field of science ever, quantum mechanics. We talked to him, from a cafe near the Al-Mawasi section of Gaza, to find out why. And over the course of several conversations, he told us how this reality-breaking corner of science has helped him survive. And how such unspeakable violence actually let him understand, in a visceral way, quantum mechanics’ most counter-intuitive ideas. 

Special thanks to Katya Rogers, Karim Kattan, Allan Adams, Sarah Qari, Soren Wheeler, and Pat Walters

EPISODE CREDITS: 
Reported by - Lulu Miller
Produced by - Jessica Yung
with mixing help from - Jeremy Bloom
Fact-checking by - Emily Krieger
and Edited by  - Alex Neason


EPISODE CITATIONS:

Videos - 

Articles - 
Read a selection of Qasem’s published essays about his life in Gaza and the quantum world: 

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Transcript

Intro / Opening

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Opening: Many Worlds and Gaza's Reality

I guess where I really want to begin is actually just because so much of this is about reality and different realities and inquiring about realities. I wonder where you stand on the many worlds interpretation, this idea of many worlds, parallel universes. What do you think about that? I think it's very interesting because...

For a person who lives this madness in Gaza, imagining that there is another world, another peaceful world that is away from all this madness, away from all this horror, where I have another version of me. living peacefully just living a life is very intriguing but scientifically speaking i don't actually believe in it so much you don't okay yeah i don't believe in it

This is Qasem Walid, a 28-year-old physicist who has lived his whole life in Gaza. And over the last couple of years, as Israel has dropped bombs all around him, as he's lost friends and family. Like many Palestinians, he's been posting videos and essays trying to show the world what's really going on. Only he has been doing it using quantum physics.

And I wanted to understand why. So I called him up. And we talked many times over five months as more and more groups, including the UN, declared that Israel was committing genocide in Gaza. as ceasefires were called, and then broken. And he told me the tale of how quantum physics entered his life, how it has helped him to survive the unthinkable chaos. And how that unthinkable chaos granted him access to perceive that confusing quantum state at the bottom of our physical world.

Gaza: A Daily Reality of War and Scarcity

If that makes no sense, I promise it will when Qasim explains it. So I'm going to pick up with our very first conversation, which we had back in July of 2025, when Israel's restrictions on aid had created mass starvation. all around him in Gaza. I wonder if you can just start by describing your reality right now. Okay, so today is July 29th, Tuesday, and right now it's 6.16 Gaza time. I live actually in Khan Yunis, which is in the south of Gaza, Gaza Strip.

I'm actually in a cafe, which is in Al Mawasi area. Just a few people are here. If I move outside, there will be like a zillion people because I'm right next to the tent camp. When is the last time you ate? I know you had to cancel last week because you wrote that you'd spent three days looking for flour and hadn't found anything.

And unfortunately I couldn't take anything because there was like a zillion people. It was so packed and we were being shot at and I was just taking the floor, taking a shelter. And there is no shelter, it's just open land, you know. I'm sorry to say that, but the only shelter you can take is the guy in front of you. And luckily we got like some help from relatives and from friends to kill those flowers.

You can't survive on them for the last two or three days. What is that sound that I hear? Is that a plane? Yeah, this is actually a warplane, I think. f-16 or something we hear this on a daily basis and we actually can't right now till which kind of a pump is going to hit the ground, if it's going to be a drone, if it's going to be a helicopter. Are you less safe by being here right now talking to me? Is this a risk?

Well, you know, living in Gaza is a risk. Every place here. Whenever I go out from my tent, I pray for myself. Whenever I entered any place, I prayed for myself, for my safety, for my family's safety, for everyone's safety. Just a couple of days ago, actually, they bombed the college right behind me, just about like 30 or 40 metres. So, but you know, I don't have another choice because I don't have access to the internet. So I have to go to cafes to get a better access to the internet. Okay.

Very good, actually, but, you know, this is what I've got in here. So, yes. So, from the noise of that cafe, Qasim told me where his story with quantum physics began. Funny enough.

Stars, Childhood Dreams, and Father's Legacy

The first time I really got intrigued by physics, it was due to the stars. I don't want to say I was a romantic kid, but I was spending a lot of time on the rooftop just looking at the stars and the night sky. You know, Gaza isn't the best place that you can view or observe the night sky from because we have, I think, more than 90% air pollution.

because of the density and the, you know, bomb based from time to time. But I remember I was in the eighth grade. I was 14 years old. I remember at what night it was, there was a heavy rain. I think it was around midnight that when the rain had stopped I decided to go to the rooftop just to look at the stars and the scene was Absolutely magnificent, Lulu. I still remember the scene. It looked like pearls. Pearls? Yeah, exactly, pearls. But that night...

I believe that some angel just sweeped up the whole sky and the view was like full HD. The first thing that my eyes... was laid on what was the three dots in the sky, which later on I found the name of them, which is called the Orion Belt. And Kasim would wonder about those twinkling pearls in the sky. what they are made of, why they are pulsing. You know, when you look at the stars, they have this pulsing light on and off. If this was some sort of a language or something.

Like a Morse code? Exactly. And there was someone in his life he could take these questions to. My father, who was a genius engineer, he worked actually as the manager of the engineering unit of the Palestine. Broadcasting channel. My father was very generous. He actually gave a lot of free lectures to my neighbors and my relatives in mathematics and physics.

From time to time, I was intrigued by the stuff he was saying and lecturing about. So I said from time to time, not every time, I'm not a geek or something, but you know. Okay. I don't know, man. You're writing about quantum mechanics like all the time. Are you sure you're not a geek?

No, I can assure you I'm not agreeing. But you know, I was intrigued. It was out of curiosity I wanted to listen to what he was saying. And I had to slide in between the students he had and sit around and listen to what he said. It was very beautiful, you know. He would romanticize even, you know, engineering, physics and stuff. He would compare like the electric current.

for love or something between male and female and between spouses and stuff. He was a romantic guy, yeah. Kasim says he thinks his dad wanted to be a poet. But, you know, being a poet or a writer wasn't something like plausible. My mother's uncle used to write poems and insulting the Israeli occupation, and he was locked up in jail for months. And I don't think my father wanted to be in jail for something, so he was like, um...

writing diaries and stuff and keeping it for himself, not publishing it. Qasim's father died in 2016 when Qasim was 19 years old. Maybe in another universe where my dad is alive, I could be like still learning from him. But in my world, I believe my father said to me so many times that if he want to choose a field to major on, he would choose physics.

He was a brilliant engineer, but he was so interested in physics. That's how he actually inspired me to continue with the physics field. Did you see it as honoring him, like living the life he didn't get to do? You wanted to, to have access to those ideas and those classes? I believe my father won't let me to be his second chance because my father was very strict that...

I am my own story, you know? Everyone had his story from this life. He had his story with all the difficulties he had from the poverty that he actually took his family from.

University Life and the Quantum Realm

And he wanted me to decide what I want. And what he wanted was to study physics. So he did, at the Islamic University of Gaza. I don't know, it was the most beautiful place in the whole Gaza Strip. The canvas was like a painting. It was all tree covered with trees, big trees. And maybe my best place and my favorite place in the university was the library, because the library has this panoramic window where you can see different sides of the campus.

You can see the whole university from there. You can see the students interacting with each other. You can see... professors and students circling around each other because you know there's many lectures actually happening outdoors and you can see like casually a professor would take a bunch of a student and sit under a tree to to teach him about something.

It was a perfect scene for a student. It was the perfect place for a besieged student that is trapped in Gaza to study in. Because you can feel the freedom there. And that's when I stumbled into quantum mechanics. He took a few classes his first years, but it was his junior year that he met the guy who had changed the course of his life, Dr. Sufjan Taya. a renowned physics professor and president of the whole university. What did Dr. Taya look like?

Okay, he was a catch, if I can say that. A catch? Exactly, he was a catch. He was the most elegant. person I have ever seen, you know? His suits were so like tied up and clean and the way he actually do his hair. How did he do his hair? He actually flip it over like to the back, you know, and he has this silver hair all around his head and he was so like elegant, you know.

We don't have this type of professors much in Gaza. You just have the shirt and the pants and some sort of shoes, but he was... so dressed up every day, so elegant, so polite, you know, he would never raise his voice. He was like... I don't know, like a walking book that smells nice. Do you know these old books we have and they smell unique? He was an old book that smells nice.

Understanding Superposition and Quantum Tunneling

And this old book that smells nice, he opened the door to the quantum realm. This place where the particles that build our world, that build each and every one of us, and every tree and every wall and every bomb and every moon are in this maddening, shifty state called superposition, where they are impossible to pin down.

They are not in any one concrete place, but they are also not quite in multiple places at once. But they are also definitely not nowhere. I know this is a little misstep. It's real. But, Dr. Taya explained, that's just how it goes and you can't fight it. And to add just one more messed up layer to this whole superposition state, particles are only in it when you're not...

Looking. As soon as you look at a particle, when you measure it, it collapses out of superposition, back down into one thing or the other. What? Richard Feynman, which is, in my perspective, the most brilliant physicist ever been. He's the goat of physics. He's the goat, yeah. He was like so puzzled by it and he said that if you think you understand quantum mechanics, you don't really understand it. The point isn't to understand it, it's just to accept it.

That the math and all the fancy experiments say that superposition is a fact of life. And Dr. Taya explained that this creates all these wild effects. Maybe one of the stories I remember when he talked about an experiment where the physicist collided two protons together near the speed of light. And from the debris of the collision of the two protons... Two photons have emerged, which was super weird. It's like crashing two cars and a bicycle came out from this collision. It was so bizarre.

And sitting in Dr. Taya's classroom, Qasim was hooked. He was so subtle, so poetic, if I can say that. He was like, you know, he can, like... Projectize the physics concepts into life. If you had to pin, like, one thing that really grabbed you, which one would it be? Like a quantum tunneling? It's like, you know, you know what the quantum tunneling is? Kassam explained to me that quantum tunneling is this real thing that happens when electrons can just tunnel through a barrier.

that it doesn't seem like they should be able to, almost like teleportation. Whoa. So what Dr. Tayyia was trying to establish there is that we can make our own version of tunneling. Because here we are living our life here in Gaza as besieged people, besieged civilians. Like, if I want to move from Gaza to Egypt, I can't. Why? Because there is crossings or borders that Israel has set.

I can't break through that barrier. But we are also created from subatomic particles. So how about to imagine ourselves as electrons and go to the moon? Yeah. When we're talking here emotionally, spiritually, not in actual sense, then why not looking out? And looking up to the sky, looking up to the one beautiful thing that is available to us for free, you know, because nothing is free in Gaza. And so Qasim began tunneling.

Astrophysicist Dreams Interrupted

deeper and deeper into the quantum world, where he began to see a future for his life as a physicist. What? What did you start to, like, what did you want to find out? Or what did you start to sort of imagine your life as a physicist could look like? I think I would, like, go for a scholarship. It would be most likely France, the UK or the US. I'm more into astrophysics. Oh, really? I wanted to visit NASA. Space Ecstasy, the Rockets, the Falcon and stuff.

To have this involvement with it, to capture it from my naked eye, not just from the screen of my laptop or my mobile. It would be quite something, actually. And that is a life I imagine myself. So you, OK, so you had these dreams of maybe like getting a scholarship and becoming an astrophysicist and maybe going to NASA and looking through this telescope with your naked eye and seeing stars in huge detail.

And then for you, when did you know that was changing or that that possibility was eclipsing for the moment? What? Are you okay? No, no, no. I don't know if you hear it. They stated the generator all over again. Do you hear it? I hear it. This is a really interesting question. I really... I wanted to answer but I don't know if you can hear my voice clearly. I'm actually running out of battery. My battery is up to 22%.

No, not at all. Not at all. I'm really having fun. Me too. I'm having a really great time with you. Yeah, I really don't understand. Could we do, I don't know, could we do one more someday this week or is it too dangerous for you? No, it's not dangerous, I think. You know the situation, but I don't know. I don't think it would be dangerous. We can do it tomorrow if you would like. Yeah, I would love to do it. Can we do it tomorrow? Can we do it tomorrow? Of course. Yeah, yeah, of course.

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October 7th: The Unprecedented War Begins

October 7th, 2023, shortly after sunrise. At first, I'll be honest with you, I thought that was thunder. You know, sometimes we get some thunders in autumns in Gaza and some drizzles, you know, from time to time in autumn. So I thought at first that's a thunder sound. But then I went out to see what's going on and I saw like countless rockets.

launching every single area from Gaza actually has these stripes of the smokes that the rocket left behind. This was, of course, the Hamas attack that would kill over 1,000 Israelis. And within hours, Israel would begin its counterattack, which at the time of this recording has killed over 69,000 Palestinians. You can ask every Palestinian in Gaza and would tell you that from October 7, we knew that...

Something unprecedented is coming, and something we have never lived before, even our ancestors. Just days later, Israeli jets fly toward his university. All I see is was a nipula of rubble, ash and dust, a thick nipula that covered the whole camps. It was nothing that I have seen before. Two months later, Israeli tanks push into his neighborhood.

Forced Displacement and Personal Loss

We were in the middle of the streets when the bombshells started to fall upon our heads. The resonance, the sound of it, the high-bitched sound of the bombshell is still bouncing on and off between the walls of my skull, you know. I still remember that sound. It was really, really loud. Did you think you were going to die that day? I mean, did you think that was it? I think yes, because the nearest bomb was actually 20 meters or 30 meters away from me. And I was like...

Just startled and just stopped and just waiting for my fate, my destiny. Until my mother, who's tempted to be braver than I do. Really? I swear, she bowed me from my back of the chair, the back of the shit, and just aggressively bowed me towards the wall. This is the mother instinct, you know? Yeah. I can't remember much, actually, because it was all happening fast. Once we saw people going south, we just followed the crowd. And people were walking towards Rafah because it's the southern Gaza.

They were walking like drunks, swaying, staggering like drunks, you know? They didn't know where to go. What was that sway, do you think? Do you know the bendolyn movement? Yeah, pendulum? Pendulum, exactly. They were swaying like they didn't have the energy to walk. So they were swaying because they didn't know where to go. They didn't know where the road would end. They didn't know where their feet would land.

Qasim and his family joined that procession of people flowing south. I actually hold under my arm one mattress. My brother hold the other. My other brothers were holding, you know, clothes. and other luggage, and we took it on foot. It took us actually more than three hours that day to reach to the point where we saw all people just sitting on the ground, didn't know what to do.

others were starting to build like makeshift tents and stuff and i have never built a tent before so it was the time for me to to move into a new world, a new world of tents. And yeah, it's my world now, which I've been living in since that day. At some point in all the chaos, Qasim finds some internet, checks his phone. and sees a picture of Dr. Taya, brown eyes warm, silver hair flipped back. I saw this post, you know, honoring Dr. Taya and announced his killing.

His house was bombed by an Israeli aircraft. Wow. When Israel issued the massive displacement orders, the majority of people there took refuge in the southern Gaza. And Dr. Sofiane, amazingly, and I don't know what was going on with him, but he decided to go even further in the north because I believe his family. a home is located in there, and he took refuge in there. I don't know if took refuge is the right choice of word, but that is where he was killed. Yeah.

When you heard that news, what did you feel? What did you think? I don't know. I stopped there for one minute or two. I don't express myself more loudly or something. I keep it to myself. So I just stopped holding my phone and just stopped looking at the post at the time and I couldn't believe it. Then, a month later, the Israeli government prevents Qasem's aunt, Samar, from traveling to Egypt for medical treatment, and she dies. And all the while, in the outside world...

The UN's International Court of Justice is convening and deciding not to call what's happening inside a genocide. And the U.S. is continuing to send billions of dollars in bombs and other military aid to Israel.

Quantum Physics as a Refuge and Voice

And in the spring of 2024, Qasim hits a kind of breaking point. Despite being a pretty private person, he begins publishing pieces describing his reality. To speak up, to speak loud, and to scream. at the world to take action. He started with a poem about his aunt. I miss you. I miss spending time with you. The memories keep buzzing above your couch. Then he wrote an elegy to Dr. Taya. Life feels different now that Israel has killed my professor. Knowledge feels trapped behind unopened gates.

He wrote about bombed pharmacies and schools and life in a tent camp. Fires burned and checked. Garbage piles rotten the sun. And in nearly every essay, As he describes his surroundings in excruciating detail, at some point, he casts his light on the quantum world. Recently... I have noticed that my movement is similar to the quantum harmonic oscillator, QHO. In the QHO, electrons can also use a kind of stairs. It's called the ladder operator.

and it's how electrons move between energy states. When I imagine myself as an electron, it is not the stairs I'm climbing that are the creation operator. It is the water. Because it creates the ability to move from a lower energy state to a higher energy state. From being more thirsty to less thirsty. I mean...

There's all this stuff that you write about so beautifully, but it is, quantum is so hard to understand. And like, I see you posed with this frustrating circumstance that you are in hell. And it seems like a lot of people, much of the outside world doesn't care and isn't seeing it and isn't acting. And so you're trying to scream out by describing reality. But then you're using these...

Quantum terms, which are so hard. Do you worry that like that could confuse it or confuse people? Or have you ever found it fall short? I guess I just still wonder about the choice. to bring in all the quantum stuff, which is hard to understand. Well, I come from a scientific background. I'm studying physics. I studied physics. You know, when you study something, you just live by it and you see everything from its perspective. If you are a writer, you would see like...

People like stories or like poems. If you are a doctor, you would see people like, I don't know, like cases or something. If you're an engineer, you start picturing people like machines or something. So that's me, a physicist, a student of physics, trying to live a genocide. And my haven, my only haven that I can take refuge in is the world of physics.

Because when you love a place, when you live in a place that you love, you feel comfortable, you feel like you own it and you feel like you can be out of reach, like a whole universe that is just built for you. And surprisingly, you built it for yourself. I'm actually building this place on a daily basis, even inside my head. I'm not joking here physically. It's actually, it's all in my head, but...

If I can escape inside my head and if I can escape inside the path and the maze of physics and quantum physics and this seemingly arbitrary and randomness of physics. Well, so be it. If they can offer me a safer place, if they can offer me a refuge, if they can offer me some comfort, then I'm lucky, I think, to have this while two other millions in Gaza.

suffering on a daily basis. And I'm not saying that I'm not suffering, but I'm at least using something that I love as a safe zone, if I can say that. In May of 2024. Israel invades Rafa. Which now lies not in rubble. It lies in sand. You're saying it's beyond rubble. Exactly. It's beyond rubble right now. It's become a desert. In July. One of his best friends is killed in an airstrike. Israel can come for the houses, they come for the hospitals, they come for the streets and for the schools.

But I was thinking, can they reach an atom? If I was living inside an atom, if I'm picturing myself like an electron, that would be my save. Haven, my safe refuge where Israel or the Israeli army can reach me. And in December of 2024, he realizes something.

Schrodinger's Cat: Alive and Dead in Gaza

Like Schrodinger's famous cat, I'm trapped in a box. I have been stuck in this box since the beginning of Israel's genocidal war in my homeland, Gaza. So many people know I'm inside it. But none can tell if I'm alive or dead. He writes about this realization in an essay using one of the most famous and maddening quantum thought puzzles called Schrodinger's Cat.

I'm going to cliff note it just so we can get back to Cosim's writing. But basically, Schrodinger's cat is an imaginary experiment that this Austrian physicist Erwin Schrodinger dreamed up as a way of... thinking about superposition, that shifty, annoying state that all subatomic particles are in when we're not measuring them. So it goes like this.

There is a cat in a box with a radioactive atom that could decay and kill it. Or not. But you can't know whether the cat is dead or alive until you open the box. And since the fate of the cat is tied to the atom, which is itself in a superposition of being decayed and not decayed, does that mean that the cat, before we open the box, is both alive and dead?

And scientists love to fight about this. Schrodinger actually posed the whole thought puzzle as a kind of snub at quantum physics, saying like, OK, there's no way that a cat can be both dead and alive at the same time. So we are misinterpreting what the math is. saying about reality. But other scientists say, no, you know, I think maybe the cat is both dead and alive. So, back to Cosm's essay. Like a Schrodinger's cat.

I'm locked in a box that will eventually kill me. Luckily, I'm not dead yet. But am I alive? I'm writing this, surely. But I can't leave the box. The only outcome available to me is death. So I am afraid I can't say that I'm alive either. Seemingly, my existence has now become identified. by the superposition of the states of being simultaneously alive and dead. I'm alive in a lifeless life and all the possible paths ahead lead to my death.

Is what you're saying, like, you're trying to picture not the moment of collapsing when the human measurement is involved, but what's going on in that box the whole time? Exactly. Exactly, because I'm living it. You know, I'm living it. So the whole point of it is that I feel sorry for that cat. I'm not talking here about the physicist in me. I'm talking about the human, about the Palestinian who's stuck in Gaza.

Not only for two years, because this is misleading. I'm stuck in Gaza for 20 years. I have been locked in this box for two decades. Or I can say for, I don't know, like seven decades? I don't know how to describe it. I was satisfied. I was content with the books I used to have before this work. You know, we were like, so...

I don't know. Adjusted to it. It wasn't perfect, but we adjusted to it. We know the schedules of electricity. We know the schedules of water. We know the schedules of everything, actually. We adjusted to it. We cope with the life. We just like, you know, life goes on and we have to go with it. But right now it's taking place in an ever shrinking box. So I'm sympathizing.

Living Superposition and a Call to Action

With the cat, I'm empathizing with the cat because the cat is me and I am the cat. Everything in life seems to follow a certain binary system. From electrons, which spin. in one direction or the other, to human beings which can be either alive or dead. Still, this doesn't seem to apply to me, because whether I'm living or dead at any given moment is unknown. I'm no longer part of this binary of life and being, it seems. So what am I? It's like you're saying you are experiencing superposition.

This duality, that superposition concept is something that, again, the brightest minds in science can't quite fathom. They just say, just accept it. Like we can't even, you can't imagine it. But you're also saying. You are physically living superposition. So report back from superposition. What is it?

feel like to be so many states at once? It feels like if, God forbid, someone had pointed a gun to your head, like you're walking to your life with someone like walking behind you with a gun pointing to the back of your head. So yeah, that's what it feels like. It's horror. It's a horror. We are horrified on a daily basis. If I go to grab food for my family, I'll be dead. If I went to the sea to catch some fish... An Israeli boat can target me if I went back to my house to grab some wood

An Israeli drone might kill me. If I went to the market, I might be hit. If I was in the car, I might be hit. Anywhere in Gaza I might be hit and targeted and killed. So yeah, it's... I don't know, I can't describe it actually. I'm so sorry. It's insane. No, you didn't. It's insane. No one can live like this.

Before the war, I was trying to see how we can get a knowledge about certain dilemma or certain problem in the physics world or mathematics or any other field of science. But right now I want to show... the world, the reality as is, you know, the reality as it is, to show them, like, here, look, this is the reality of Gaza. And you, you, the one who need to investigate this time. Do you feel the shift in here?

It's like you went from scientist to object of study. Exactly, exactly. I am the one who is inside the books. I am the one who is trapped. I am the one who is... I'm stuck and can't. I'm out of reach and out of resources and I'm out of knowledge and I'm out of everything that could help me to climb the ladder to open the box. It is not up to me. I tried, I failed, and it's your turn right now. In the Schrodinger's chaotic experiment, everyone asked,

whether the cat was alive or dead, but none actually opened the box to see. If they had, the superposition would have collapsed and the cat would only be dead. if they didn't open the box in time. We're not cats. Please open the box.

Ceasefire: Quiet But Still Trapped

Is my sound cutting off or anything? No, you sound great. Can you hear me okay? Yes. So we're recording this. It's October 16th, 2025, six days after the ceasefire. officially went into effect. And I guess with the news of the ceasefire spreading, how has the box changed for you in the last week? It's the same box, but it gets only quieter. But it doesn't change that I'm still trapped inside this box. Like from my own point of view, when I hear the ceasefire announcement.

I thought the first question that popped into my mind was, what is my options right now? I don't have a house. I don't have a job. I don't have a life. I don't even have clothes to protect myself from winter. I actually tried to sneak out to my neighborhood a couple of days ago to save some clothes. Winter clothes and some books are from underneath the rubble.

And I went with the first light of the morning because, you know, we take the whole distance between Al-Mawassir to Eastern Khanunis on foot. and we were shot at by a helicopter. Really? Israeli drone, yeah. And this was after the official ceasefire? Yes, that was a day after. It was actually at the last Tuesday. So we're not going back to my house until further notice from the Israeli army because it's a bit dangerous in there. Okay.

The ceasefire doesn't mean the genocide has stopped. It just transformed to other shapes, other forms of it. And the only difference is just the rate of killing. the civilians in Gaza because, you know, the rate of killing is decreasing. But it is the same tactics, it's the same reality. Yeah. Yeah, we're trapped more than ever right now. And I don't think it will change anytime soon. I don't just want to exist like inside this box. I do want to live. Yeah.

We always want something that is beyond our physical world, something metaphysical, something imaginative, something that can give us a reason.

Stargazing in Darkness: Enduring Hope

Shortly after you said this, the call dropped. Oh, I think I lost you. Hi again, I'm so sorry. I didn't turn it as usual. No, no, not at all. I was going to say, how's the electricity grid? How's the internet? Is that still... Well, you know, the sun is going down actually, and so it's getting like slower and slower by battery. Is it like every night you can't... escape, you get cut off from the world? Yeah, because at night we don't have electricity anymore because it's all powered by the sun.

You know, actually, there is nothing more beautiful than the stars, especially like you don't have electricity at all, because that is when you can see stars all clear. My first ever question about cells is why there are pulsing, you know? Yeah. I learned about it like... many years later, why the pulsing happens. It was always because of our atmosphere.

because of how the wind changes its direction through the layers of our atmosphere. It had nothing to do with the nature of the star itself. Oh, interesting. The more I learn about that. You know, it's always like it's not a toxic relationship. It's always like when I know. Because, you know, when in the relationship, when you know more about your partner. you'll start having some sort of a problem.

It happens. You're so right. I mean, sometimes knowledge can extinguish magic. It's true. Exactly. It's not the same with the stars because the more I know about them, the more I fell in love with them. Me with the stars is more of a feeling, an everlasting good feeling that it actually makes me feel good even about myself. Can you see any stars right now? I can't walk outside. Just give me a second. Okay.

So I'm actually sitting outside right now, but I can't recognize any buttons unfortunately, but I know for sure that The Orion Belt would be on the southern side of the sky right now. But you can't see them. You know, yeah, because Gaza, with this war alone, produced more greenhouse gases. I'm trying really hard. I'm so sorry, but I can't recognize any button. It seems like foggy up there.

This episode was produced by Jessica Young. It was edited by Alex Deason. Fact-checking by Emily Krieger. One little update. As we were getting this ready...

The Nobel Prize in Physics was announced for 2025, and it went to scientists for their work on quantum tunneling. They had done experiments which took it from the... quantum world to the classical world to our world, meaning not just tiny particles, but big groups of particles, can tunnel, can make it through barriers that it doesn't seem like they should be able to.

We had a ton of editorial support on this one, so big thanks to everyone who weighed in. Katja Rogers, Sarah Kari, Kareem Katan, Soren Wheeler, Pat Walters, and Alan Adams. Also, if you'd like to read Qasim's whole essay, it's called I Am Stuck in a Box like Schrodinger's in Gaza. And it was published on Al Jazeera, December 19th, 2024. There are also links to more of his work.

in the show notes here. And finally, if you just have not had enough quantum physics for your day, our producer Jessica Young had a wonderful conversation with the physicist. Alan Adams at MIT to sort of help us understand our quantum physics as best we could. It's really great. It goes into how there's like actually quantum stuff going on in our bodies, in our proteins.

And you can listen to that if you become a member of The Lab, which is the way that you can support Radiolab by heading on over to radiolab.org slash join. Many, many thanks for listening. Catch you next week. Hi, I'm Basit Kari and I'm from Somerset, New Jersey. And here are the staff credits. Radiolab is hosted by Lulu Miller and Latif Nasir. Soren Wheeler is our executive editor.

Sarah Sandback is our executive director. And our managing editor is Pat Walters. Dylan Keefe is our director of sound design. Our staff includes Simon Adler, Jeremy Bloom, W. Harry Fortuna. David Gable, Maria Paz Gutierrez, Sindhu Niasambandam, Matt Keelty, Mona Medgavker, Annie McEwan, Alex Neeson, Sarah Kari, Anissa Veetze, Arianne Wack, Molly Webster, and Jessica Young. With help from Rebecca Rand. Our fact checkers are Diane Kelly, Emily Krieger, Anna Pujol-Mazzini, and Natalie Middleton.

Hi, I'm Maddie, and I'm from Frederick, Maryland. Leadership support for Radiolab's science programming is provided by the Simmons Foundation and the John Templeton Foundation. Foundation support for Radiolab was provided by the Alfred P. Sloan Foundation. Radiolab is supported by the National Forest Foundation.

a nonprofit transforming America's love of nature into action for our forests. Did you know that national forests provide clean drinking water to one in three Americans? And when forests struggle, so do we. The National Forest Foundation creates lasting impact by restoring forests and watersheds, strengthening wildfire resilience, and expanding recreation access for all.

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