R18+ We Hate Public Transport

The following program is rated R eighteen plus, may contain coarse language, sexual references, drug references, and a bunch of other shit. So if you're under the age of eighteen, get the fuck out. Can you go fuck yourself? Welcome back everyone. Welcome back. Let me tell you fucking Yeah, we say welcome back for a reason because Well they watched last week, that's why. Yeah, well I'm saying for a different reason. Or they don't yeah, they're never gonna see the other reason.

Yeah, they should have. We have just gone through hell and back. Hell hell and back. Hella hell and back. Hell and back. Absolutely. Uh so basically not sure we're not exactly trained in all the tech side of this shit. Uh I've done a little bit. But um thought it was pretty cut and dry, had a couple of sessions where it went decently well. Yes or no? Yeah, yeah, I'd say. I'd say. Decently, decently.

Uh, this episode we recorded probably about twenty five, thirty minutes off. Yeah, yeah. And um um Someone knocked my door, which actually linked up perfectly with the episode so far. Yeah, it actually and I guess it it kinda went well that the knock came at that point instead of just uh yeah. Well when we came back to listen and then continue from the point in which we had does it make sense?

Yeah, that makes sense. We we were listening to the uh We were trying to link it up so we we could cut it all at once, make it perfect. But straight up. Um Yeah. So it was just me talking to myself for about twenty five minutes. Okay, it was like this. It was like this. It's like if I was talking to the U.S. Yeah.

And I was just replying to no one. And then so now I'm back, right? Exactly. It was like that. And if you couldn't hear me, haha that's what it was like. Yeah, so for twenty five minutes of um me talking to myself and in that twenty five minutes Caleb admitted to And other things. Twenty five minutes. The best podcast you never saw. Exactly. It started by me talking about Florida, man. Yeah, and like we got out of that and we somehow moved to somehow got to Ted Bundy.

How how creepy teenage girls are into that. Yeah. And then we talked about how much it would cost. Yeah, in terms of payment to kill someone. Yeah, you would have learnt that and been able to hire him. You would have, but now you'll have to overestimate and pay me hundreds and hundreds of millions of dollars. Don't tell'em what I said. Uhhuh. Promise? Okay, well I mean twenty bucks, twenty bucks, but whatever. Oh that's for a dick suck and not a murder, bro.

Yeah. So we've substituted um them missing out on figuring out how much it would cost for you first someone and now we've got to make it. I gotta tell him, dude. It's so funny. Florida man kills two people having sex in exchange for four hundred and eighty dollars. And we joked that Oh see it just doesn't feel right. No, but I'll tell'em. It just was so funny because

We said he'd come to Australia and double his money. Well well we just said we have to be fair to him. This is US dollars. To be fair, it's US dollars. That's a lot of money in Australia. That's probably eight hundred, but it's worth more to kill someone having sex is basically

It's gone now. We have to move on. Fuck everything. I'm so angry. It was so good. We need a sound guy, and um for that I need to be rich. So I mean we need to be ready. Uh huh. We did test it and it worked and I'll just if it doesn't work this time Fuck it. We'll have to skip this week'cause Fuck it. Uh I'm still hung up. I'm so tired. Yeah. Guys, and uh when I'm usually tired, I'm pretty judgmental.

Oh see, if you were able to listen last podcast he did a very bad transition. Yeah. And this one was better. Better. I gave him a three out of ten last time. Give me a four at least. You probably fucked up the recording because you're like fucking so bad. I fucked up. This was this was a little better. I'll give you that. What give you rating out to. Uh probably a si six point five. Ooh, that's much better than a two or three. Yeah.

So also if this is shorter, you know, we we just don't wanna go through what we've already said, what we've already recorded, what we've gone through. Yep, yep, yep. Fuck trying to recreate shit. Yeah, it's not it's not authentic anymore and that and the computer sorry, the the camera battery is low, so we're just worried about that. It's red. No, that means it's recording. Good. We don't want another fucking mishap.

I we honestly couldn't figure it out. The only thing I've done is just switched it to a mono channel and I we've never done that. Yeah. Who knows? Yeah, I don't know what to tell you. I think in this stage we've tried for like Setting it up, doing it all for a little a little while. So it's at the point where it's just like fuck it, if it doesn't work right now, my bad I misunderstood. See ya, yeah, you did. I ain't trying to end the whole thing but

Anyway, let's hear some of these judgments. Yeah, so basically I'm on the internet looking at things uh people are judging people for silence. And I guess they're just like what are they what do you call them? A pet peeve? Yeah. Yeah. I've got so many. So yeah, basically this whole podcast with people. You ranting.

Which is fair, I don't I'm not that type of person per se. Like I don't you're not a rant guy. I mean it I have little ticks but I couldn't tell you them to be honest. Like they're not like Sure. Like I know one of yours It's passing gun. This man has a problem with me passing him things.

Oh true, I forgot. Yeah. No, just passing like I just I just don't like to be handed things. It's weird. What if I have other plans for my hands? What if I have plans for my hands he's done doing the thing I pass him his shit. See, I've already got into it. This is gonna be the whole whole podcast is him reading.

Okay, this is how this started, right? I swear to God. See this is how the podcast is gonna go. We have the perfect thirty minutes before. It's just gonna you're gonna be like, but why? And I'll be like, this is why So like I feel like this is where it started, right? So like I imagine I'm typing, right?

on my computer having a shit old fucking good old chat on Facebook and you come in and there's a perfectly huge table, the rest of it is empty. It's just me and my laptop. And you hand me a mug of tea. And I'm typing and I'm just like Except in this situation We're both driving back and I'm holding his drink and my own in my hands. He stops driving. There's no counter for me to just put it on.

occupied with other shit, so I'm holding his thing. As soon as he's parked, as soon as he's about to open the door, I pass him his motherfucking drink. Get the fuck out. That's a counter. You could just have put it. How did you just compare

You on your laptop doing something to me walking in and That's an example that's genuinely happened to me. I'm not saying you've done this I'm not saying you've done this to me. All I'm saying is that's I feel like that's where it started. Okay. Is when my parents would just say to my Just let me type and don't don't pass me mark. Except in my situation you're not doing anything.

I'm getting I'm I like just wait at least You're getting out of the car I want to get out of the car as well, but I got your drinking. Like let me open the door and then come back. No, you park, you take your cars out your keys out. There you go. Okay, but then okay, uh keys in left keys in right hand, drink comes from the left hand. Now I have to fumble around with keys in my fucking hand. Yeah, it's better than me having to fumble around with two drinks in my hand. Or you could just wait.

A five second period just to open the door, bust it open, get my leg. Now this has become my pet peeve. Your pet peeve is dealing with my my single pet peeve about holding Yeah. I mean I'll just make sure that See maybe this won't be a rent, it'll be us figuring out resolving our issues. Yeah. Resolving issues. Anyway, so you you found some online and some of your own. I found some online. I might I might talk s about some of them before I give

Okay. It's not all about Um the lack of spatial awareness on public transport. They just like won't like be effective. They'll stand in the way of other people. I mean some people on public transport are also like they're so brave. They don't care about anyone else but themselves and it's kinda crazy. It's courageous of them to be that well I as someone that's been on buses their whole life That's how you had to do it.

I'd like you gotta deal with that shit. Oh my god, dude. I used to take like multiple buses. Oh yeah. And just to get home quicker than just the one bus. So I would go from like one place to another place and deal with a bunch of new people. Oh, it sucks. Especially from for my buttons. It's worth getting home cooker though. Yeah. Every time. St standing up. So it was like It was like luck of the draw if you could get in first and find a seat.

Ma'am, starting with strangers. I used to I used to not I mean like when you go into school though you kind of get out. School school's fine. Like you find your your busmates. Yeah, yeah. You know, and it's it's I used to try and be late to school so that my parents would drive me instead of taking the bus. I did that all way too often. My brother would just go catch the he'd walk away, go catch the bus, and my parents would still Wow.

I there there was times where my bus would leave in ten minutes and I would just run. I I'd be sprinting getting clothes. out the door. Like I wouldn't miss it. Yeah. And I'd have to wake up and get to my bus by like seven, seven twenty. Dude, it's too early to get to to w what school it it starts at nine. Stop was the first stop.

So it was the first stop in the morning and last stop at in the afternoon. You spent so much time on the fucking bus. So I I waste of your life. Did you ever do homework on the bus? No, I wasn't that type of b like I did it like I did it once when like I had something due that day going into school and I was like, Yeah, oh on the bus I wasn't that type of person I rather than on the bus or not, yeah. I was more just like

on playing a game with like a friend sitting next to me. That's it. But even then that person gets off. And I'm always last and always on the bus the longest. So it was the worst. Like Dude, that sucks. Man, imagine so much time like spent on the business. It was like fifty minutes. Fifty minutes back on the bus.

Just to get to w school at what? Like eight thirty nine? Yeah. You get there at like eight thirty, go straight to school. Straight into the classroom. That's fucked. Yeah, it's sucked. No time to do any shit. Did you Fuck that. I know, dude I was lucky though. I got a job pretty early on in my high school days so like my parents would pick me up. So going from like I didn't have to catch the bus basically what's what I'm hearing from you is Your parents just fucking drove you everywhere.

Yeah, but I had reasons. And I had to at one point. Well if I had to go to work took bus to work. I couldn't no because the bus was back. That's what I did. My shift at work started at four and school s ended at three thirty. When did you have to first start catching the bus? Uh what year? Well I mostly walked until like year five and then I caught the bus.

Oh, maybe it was like I caught the bus in like year three and then I could walk from another from another period until like later on. But like at high school Yeah, I would I used to have to walk up hills to get to my bus like four or five blocks to get up to my bus. Yeah. That that was also the problem. It wasn't like my bus stop was close, I'd have to walk so I'd have to leave. And I'd sometimes have to run to the bus Oh my I yeah, I I lived in Bathis, which is quite comparable.

Yeah, it it was bus buses in general and dealing with we've just gone on a massive tangent. Fuck buses, man. Yeah, essentially what we're saying. Fuck public transport public transport, having to deal with people And if you're shit on public transport Transport is bad enough. You're a piece of shit if you fuck around with the fucking space on the bus. You know what? I'm angry now.

Yeah, man. Fuck that person. See this what I'm like and the rants started. Yeah, it's up. Man, I think I went into that a little too hard. Yeah, you you went into it.

What happened? This one's uh a little judgy. Well that's what they all are. If someone gives their child an iPad in a public area with the volume turned all the way up, I immediately I can say that. Oh yeah. But I work at Telstra and um kids just come in and use our iPads anyway. I imagine you have to like And I just think show them attention. Like you can't just Man, if it's kids, like I'm just like If you're not gonna buy an iPad don't come and play with my iPhone, I'm not gonna

I mean all kids have iPads nowadays. They probably have their own at home. Low key iPads are pretty sick. But don't don't play with mine. Fuck fuck off if you're not gonna buy one. That's fair enough. Yeah. Don't touch them. I have to wipe all these fucking dirty fingerprints off. Okay. That doesn't seem that hard.

It's annoying. They're a display model for a reason. I know, but people are gonna touch them nonetheless. Yeah, well kids should fuck off because they don't have the money for'em. I think we're going into a a different path. You're just hating on kids. They're annoying. They're dirty. Remember how this started with just iPads? Yeah. Volume. Yeah. And you've just gone on to kids. Don't touch my fucking iPads, you fucking bitches.

People do who don't budge or move at all in the shops in the supermarket when they see you approaching and go past them. We had that last recently. Last night. Last night? Last night. But it wasn't like it wasn't just like that. She also like stared us back. Yeah, it was more as if like you have a part. And she like Stopped, made a scene, gave us a look. Yeah. It wasn't like she moved one mil. There was plenty of space and she stopped and acted like there wasn't any

Yeah. But that also gets on my nerves. Just people with shopping carts that just in general, but some people don't Check and I know that we only know about head checks because of cars. But it's absolutely applicable. I see people in the shopping center. Just fucking turn and push a new direction. They won't check behind them and see if they're cutting someone up. What if someone runs into your cart because you haven't checked? So

Have a look. Oh, I can fucking turn and not run into someone. I see that all the time. Or every day at least. I think people just in general walking it's like if you walk into someone it's not like a car crash. Yeah, just like it's not, but just fucking make sure you don't run into someone in the first place. It's polite. And stopping in the middle of a walkway.

Be aware and and and fuck off. Never stop in the doorway if you're my friend. Oh I'll fucking kill ya. Yeah, I hate also people having conversations. Yeah. And just decide to have it in the worst spots. Yeah. Like Just fucking move. Yeah. If you're gonna have a convo, don't do it in a hallway. Yep. Please. It's the it's pretty bad at parties, but I c I guess I get that'cause you're drunk and and

You know, people be chilling. But just in general, like I've had people having conversations just in a doorway, like your pet PV, and they're all spread out, so it's not like The only way through is walking straight through that conversation. Oh, you're talking about raping a child? I wish you had just fucked off instead of being in my way. Oh.

Whoa, w where'd you get that topic from? I'm just saying, whatever they're talking about, I don't want to know about it. Okay. No matter how disgusting it is what the point was. I know but still. Imagine that my problem is that they're in the way and not that they're raping a kid I go, I don't care, get the fuck out of my face. Yeah, I don't give a fuck. Get get out of my way. Oh good one. Oh man. Get the fuck out of my way. I don't care about right.

That don't put words in my mouth. I mean you said them. Nah I did not say it. People who park like shit. Oh you must hate that. Yeah. I mean you wanna get into it? Yeah, we are a reverse boy. I'm not a reverse You're a reverse parallel boy, which is I could, but I'm not going to Oh well I do it everywhere. I reverse everything. I n people say I do it for retention and they're not wrong, but also it's usually easier access to leave. Is that not true? Yeah, but sometimes it's

Yeah, Dabella. That's probably quicker. No. I mean I I judge it and then I do what I feel like. It's fair. But you you love parking in general, so I assume Yeah, I take pride in my parking. Yeah. People do. And people don't. Yeah, well that's the weird thing. People people are brave. They don't care about others. And they're brave. They're brave. No, they're self.

Yeah, but you gotta have some balls to just be a dick in public like that. Well that's interesting'cause someone just said how greedy someone else is with food that isn't theirs. I hate when someone takes too much food of something out of potluck or somewhere else with I mean...

Depends on for me it depends. These are kinda like everyone has'em. Yeah. These are basics. These judgments are like everyone kinda has them. For me that situation kinda depends though. If it's like a fucking massive feast. Well I'm assuming the person that's written this is like Talking about someone that they didn't just fucking want them to have all their

Yeah. Like like if you buy some fries with your meal and your girlfriend be like, Hey, give me some of that and I was like, Hey, I offered you some of that and then like Well if if you offer someone one ch like, do you want a chip and they grab a hand? Oh yeah, they can fuck right off. Fuck them. Fuck right.

Littering, leaving shopping carts all over the place and motorcyclists revving up in tunnels with pedestrians around. Why are there pedestrians in a in a tunnel? In a traffic tunnel? Also I don't think motorcycles are necessarily doing that on purpose. In Australia it feels like more cars. You know what I mean? I mean I didn't see a problem you know what? Fuck that bitch. I don't see a problem with you reving up. Enjoy your sh I mean I'll make fun of you.

If you're parked and shit doing it, sure, fuck off. But like a motorcyclist in a tunnel, like Just let him live. He wants to hear his fucking thing. That's how he fucking gotta go. Yeah, it's a good thing. It's just gonna be louder. I'm sorry. Don't you speed up. Don't you speed up in this tunnel. Pretending as if a motorcycle's like a bike. It makes no noise. Don't don't ring your bell in this tunnel. Yeah man. The last twenty five minutes. The the last recorded one was just my judgment.

I know, but like I look back and I'm like what could have fucking be The jokes we made were so good. Oh god, this is the worst one. Oh no. Fucked it. It's all over. We've made the best one and we can't show it to anyone. It's dead. It's a dead meme. Um okay that one's two in depth. Talking on the phone while being rung up by No, I used to be a What was the what was the rhyme I used to have for it? You had a rhyme? Yeah, it was weird. I used to just be a cashier. Check out the

That's what it was. It wasn't a it was a rhyme because it rhymes with checkout chip. It wasn't actually a rhyme, it's just a play on words. That's fair. Again, these are a lot of things where I sh I just wouldn't do. Yeah, well, I used to have to deal with that all the fucking time.

I'll tell you what, if you're the kind of cunt that talks on the phone while being run rung up by a cashier and then you act like it's their fault when they ask you something about it. Oh yeah. Fuck yourself. I feel like I only see that in movies, but I've yeah, it's happened to me multiple times in real life. Yeah. People come into the store. On the phone and I don't know whether to approach it.

'Cause you're here I can stand that if it's at Woolworths and they're just walking in. No, but I mean my current job, people walk in with it. And it's like such a personal thing at such a quiet time that it's just like Well it's just you awkwardly standing at the register like How can I help? What do you want from me? Yeah, when it's just you alone but like Yeah.

And they know what they're looking for and it's almost like Even if they don't know like if you're the kind of guy that wanders into my store on the phone just because you're wandering around and you wanna give yourself something to look at, don't fucking do it in my store. Fuck off.

Ah. They don't listen to this, don't be silly. They're not supportive of their stuff, don't be silly. Oh God, you're dicking yourself off. Oh actually they wanted me to stop work they wanted me to work on Fridays. God. Are you able to do any other day but Friday? For the podcast. Yeah. Is this your birthday? I mean I can do whenever. Whatever suits. I wanna just say no. That's fair. Man, it's hard because

Friday's the day we do it. I know. It's it's become a thing I guess. Yeah, and now I'm gonna have to change everything? What yeah, this is probably a weird word I just have on a pod, but Yeah, but I mean I They want me to take on they want me to start doing Fridays and have split days off. We're really taking on the aspect of this being just a rant pod for you.

Which is fair. Anything else you want to round about? Well I mean I'm still on this because they want me to have Thursday off, work Friday. Oh so you don't have a weekend. Yeah, I have a day, then a day on, then a day off. Maybe I should ask a one day Thursday off. Then have Friday on and then have Saturday off as well.

I'll ask I'll ask them. Yeah, you do you, man. Which ever works. Anyway'cause you have do you have Wednesday Wednesdays off from fucking sorry guys. Wednesdays off from uni and stuff? Yeah. Yeah. Well maybe we can do Yeah, whichever works, I mean I'm currently in the unemployed unemployment life so Yeah, if anyone has a job for Turbes. Yeah, don't hit me up. Don't hit him up.'Cause he's a poor little poor he's a he's a poor little rich kid.

What? I am. Not bitch. Bitch. Man Back to buses. I just have a random thought about like his how it ties into high school. Embarrassing high school stories. Once once me and my friend both used to play drums and we used to sit next to each other on the bus and we have the drumsticks, right? And the tips feel like small things. And so we used to lean across rows. And double tap people on the shoulder with our drumsticks and then put them away.

And so people wouldn't know Was this a school bus? High school bus. Uh well I mean no, but but you were doing it too. We never had we never really had other people. But it like it wasn't It basically was. And we would only really do it to p people from our school. And we were just like jokers. We were just always having a fucking laugh and just chilling out and having

Well, fair enough. I got a I just r remembered a story about buses that I've done. Well, let me finish this one. Because this is not done. Uh oh. W uh I did it to a guy that I thought I knew that I just mistook him for someone else. And we also talked about Oh yeah. So he's like, Who the fuck was that? And I was like I just gave him some smart coming comment and we all laughed at him. And he got really And he's like, Do you always talk shit like this?

Hilarious. I'm just having a good time. What about you? You actually do as well. Yeah. I can imagine you just push. Well I was just like, I'm having a good time, what about you? He's like, Nah, I hate you And then he's like, We're gonna talk about this after we get off the bus. I'm like, How do you know where I get off the bus? He's like, I don't know, but I'm gonna wait

He did. But we we all lived in different areas. Oh, so this is afternoon. Okay, so Yeah afternoon he's like I'm gonna get off the bus at the same place as you and we And luckily I have my brother. Yeah, he gets off the bus. He Yeah, the guy. The guy with us, with me and my brother. Shit. He does. He does it. So he goes through Did you get up at the correct spot? Yeah, I got off at my fucking spot, dude. Here's where Atl is. I'm not even fucking he he I I'm certain he didn't.

nearby. Nowhere even close. That's firstly this guy's got some fucking balls to fuck it. I was in like Oh, so maybe uh w even still like he was gonna call someone up to pick him up. I don't know. I'm pretty sure he walked away and then I don't know what happened to him after that. Anyway, so he gets off the bus. Bro, crazy shit. He's like Are we gonna talk about this? Or am I gonna fucking fight

Like holy fuck. And your brother's older, obviously. Yeah, he's a big boy too. That's it. So the guy pulls back. swings. What the fuck? Yeah, he fucking swung me. I ducked and I like spin kicked him in the leg and my brother grabbed him. I my kick was so infer like uh it was um Hey, Ralph.

Yeah, I good. I thought you were gonna say it killed him. I like I kinda just like flicked it out and like tried to back heel him in the leg or something. But like it was too late. My brother had already grabbed the guy. Just fucking he grabs him and Under my brother's hands.

Yeah. It was so weird. But anyway my brother's like, You better calm the fuck down Oh, you just go in and start punching him while it's fucking held up. I'm like to him, I'm like, Hey bro, listen, I'm sorry for pressing your buttons but

Like we were just having fun and now you can go. And my brother's just like you better fucking leave my brother alone and then he like'cause my brother was like in his year but like they weren't mates or anything. But the guy was really angry. I think he was new too. He was pretty new. And so my brother like pushes him like in the direction.

Between me and the guy and then so the guy's like yelling and he comes at me again but my brother's in the middle and he just pushes him and he he like the guy's

freaking out thinking, Right I've gotten off the bus'cause this kid made me angry now I'm angry and I didn't get to do what I wanted to do. And where I have to walk for Where the fuck am I? So he's like Looking around and then my brother's like, You better fuck off and I start w him and I just start going home and this kid just just is like

Where the fuck am I? Yeah. You must have fuck pushed that guy's buttons. Oh dude, so much, dude. I was pretty hated or loved. Like it was like either you on my side laughing at someone or you like you were just everyone hated you. Nah, it was like a b it was definitely a big mix. Everyone that wasn't laughing hated you. Yeah. Yeah.'Cause I was like I was pretty rough too, like pretty mean. I

I would roast people and sometimes roast the people that loved me and then like they would just be like, Ah, that's so funny, but I'm like angry, you know And then they'd be fine the next day. That's crazy. I mean that wasn't as embarrassing for me as it was for the guy that had embarrassing for you at all. But he had to walk he got off the bus and everyone wanted to like

Kinda see I guess'cause it was Yeah, did it happen while everyone was watching or was it? I mean I he he the bus drove off as he was like yelling in my face. So I guess it was hyped. But like it would have sucked getting on the next day and everyone's like, What happened? He's like, I walked home. I walked home. It took me three hours to hold. Fucking across the fucking city.

All because I have anger issues. Yeah, he was an angry guy. I bet. Yeah, do you have to have a bunch of anger to get up? He's got balls to be fair. Yeah. That's fucking.

Do you have some? I don't. I was gonna just talk about the bus story of how Basically I've told you this recently. But we were Yeah, yeah, I don't remember. So, um you know the big buses nowadays, like they've got like a middle thing. Like makes it like it's a flexible spot. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like a pivot spot.

I think they call them double bus. I can't remember. It's just like extra long. With like a turning bit in the turning bit to make sense. Yeah, it's too because you can't like It can't turn. Yeah. Anyway, one day this is a short story and I don't know how it ends. One day this isn't an embarrassing story either. It's just I was on the bus story um kind of at the back, you know, this is in the later years. And that's how buses work. Yeah. You know, the more senior

At least in the back the further back you get. Yeah, okay, sure. So I Mine wasn't exactly like that. Get the fuck out of here. And then all the rest filters through through the grade. It was pretty crazy. I remember sorry just going on a tangent but like every year you'd be like, Fuck, now we can sit further back. Yeah. And it was like and like I remember first year I'd get on first so I would assess I'd be like, All right, I'm a year year eight now. I can move.

to these kind of back rows. This is my my new home. Anyway, so this was kinda in the latter area, so I'm I'm kind of at the back area but I it near the window at the back obviously behind the uh the middle part turning circle. And we're going through a turn and the front of the bus does the turn and we're obviously behind getting it. And the bus I mean a cycle

Is on the side. Yeah. And with the turning circle, how it turned, we take this kid out. Like completely fucking take the kid on the bike out. Yeah. And do you say he doesn't get run over at all? You just get it. No, it's just like getting sides. Shoulder bumps like a but a bus.

Completely smashes over. Falls over. Like hard? Was it did it look like it hurt a lot? No, it didn't look like it hurt. Did he wobble off or it was yeah, it was just you saw him like s like get Yeah. Like basically Mashed in to the side of it and then just fall on the ground. And um yeah, because obviously how it is. We drive off and everyone that's in the back part'cause the front part, like even the kids Didn't know.

And the bus driver didn't know at all, so there's cars behind turning off to make sure this kid's okay. And everyone's looking back just like waiting for this kid to move. But yeah, he he moved fine, but like we just drove off. The bus driver like I think Kim didn't didn't see it. Oh didn't yeah. Yeah, he sees it, just like fuck we gotta go kids. Get the fuck out. Get the fuck out of here. No one say anything. But yeah That's near my house, huh? That's what you said.

How good is that? I love bus drivers. I mean they can't but that that's just balls. I've had a bus driver when someone's pressed the button like When when no one has done it and has just pulled over and said, I'm not leaving until someone gets off Oh fuck. We legit one day we sat there for like five minutes until one brave soul was like, I'll go and everyone like cheered him off. I've also had one where like he's turned the bus around and gone back to the school after picking everyone up.

And got like the principal to get back on the bus and yell at everyone. Ah no. He was just that mad at the whole group. We've had plenty of bus dri I had plenty of bus drivers stop to yell at people for littering and like littering. Yeah, there was like fight. Yeah, we we never like we had like some but it wasn't like serious and most shit would happen before the bus. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Dude I remember getting videos and shit and just rewatching that shit but it was so

I loved high school fights though. Th there's a thing like nowadays where like there's like there was like a street school fight. Yeah. Canberra page. Oh really? Just filled with fun. Damn. Kids fighting in a few. Dude, I wanna see it. It's a little fucked up to be fair. Like some of it like when you look back at some school fights that's everyone ganging up on one. If it's a legit fight, yeah. If it's one gang just fucking up a kid that I don't

Yeah. That's fair enough. But that's a great place to like brag about your fucking win. Check this fucking shit cunt that I snapped. Yeah, but it'd also be the worst thing on life if you lost on camera like that. Dude, let me tell you something, you definitely I definitely have not been in the best fight proper school fight. Well, I wasn't in a school fight ever either. I've never even been punched in the

I've been punched actually by a mate, but I have been awkwardly punched by like the the the the weirdest kid just straight up punched me out of anger. And I was just like Oh it was the worst punch and like it was just like so out of the blue. Like I was just talking shit with my mates and he just he had a twin brother as well and they were both just like fucking They were years a few years older than me as well. And and he was like this like they were just like

They retarded. No, they were super smart. Oh. But it was like they were just Well I don't know, but they Were you teasing him? No. Oh. I we got off at the same thing, so we would always shit talk together. I don't really remember. Oh, that's fucked. But maybe you were shit talking like I was shit talking. Probably was. Like this is why I was younger. Well they would always go a secret route home.

And we would live kind of on the same street. Yeah. So I would go the normal way, the way you'd walk home and they would be like fucking four hundred like two hundred meters ahead of me. And I'd always be like, How the hell did you get there? And they'd never tell me. Dicks? Yeah,'til one time I followed them. I stalked them and I figured out there's like a whole lane way.

Yeah, they and they used to run away so that they wouldn't that so that I wouldn't know. What that's how fucking petty it would be. So dickley dick. Yeah, anyway, so one of these So when you followed them they hit you in the face? No no no. This was just uh another day on the bus. I don't know if it happened before or after. But yeah, he I guess something I said.

made him mad and he punched me and it was like the weakest punch. And like only a few people saw it but everyone that saw it w and he was so like emotionally like he was Stop like as and I was just like I just took it and I was like, Man, okay, that's what a punch feels like From pussy. It's not. It's not. It's not like if I ever get punched again I'm gonna be like Whoa.

Oh yeah. Fuck. But it was the most weak punch. Oh man. Dude, I as I was trying to say, I forgot, but I've never been punched, you were saying not only that, but the best fights in high school were never between boys. Girl fights were fucking crazy, dude. I went to an all-boy school so I never saw that. Yeah. Yeah. Guy guy. And the guy ones got broken up so much quicker it felt.

The girl ones probably my build up people kept quiet and because I went to kind of a a little bit of a ghetto school, like a little bit, there was a drive by the day I was supposed to School. Three AM in the morning. B on the street. Yeah, on the same street. Anyway.

I remember this girl fight that went on for at least five to ten minutes. Like a long time. Just down at the lunch area. I don't know where the teacher was supposed to be,'cause they just weren't around. And that was the most common area for people to be. I was I swear to god. Fucking long, dude. They were massive videos.

It was charged up as fuck, bro. They were just like banging each other's heads on tables and pulling hair and shit. That seems like out of a movie. Dude, I swear to God, it was at my school. It was fucking crazy. I bet. And we kept it like so quiet. There was like a little huddle and there were people all over the I guess maybe that's why.'Cause it like there was just like a huddle instead of like people just like fucking going crazy. And it just

It went forever. It went for c it was so absurdly long for a fight. Anyway, that was my favorite fight of all time. Well we actually at our school like did something similar where everyone like ate a mob or Yeah. And like everyone yelling like Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah And we had a teacher like running and thinking there's a big fight and w everyone was just playing rock face. So the teacher came running and like Stop Stop. And these guys were just doing rock fabric.

It's so funny. Shows the difference between our school. If there's a mob a teacher comes running you guys gonna watch a fucking feature film fight. No, but it it was like quiet. It wasn't like a big mob, it was like a small Small mob. It was very small mob and we're just like, Oh fuck. I remember I was really young when that happened too. I was in like maybe year seven or eight. It was like my first like year or two. Yeah. And so it was like and that would never really fight.

A at primary school. But at Calso High, which is where I went to High. That was fucked. No legit fights. Once once I um forgive. Died. Whoa, you deserve to get another fight, sounds like. Fucking dude, crazy. But like I I wasn't his friend, I didn't really know. And people like had said that his dad had died, but like I didn't really know it anyway.

So for some reason he really wanted to sit like so for some reason I just said fuck your dad to to his face. Nah. Nah nah nah. He was like yeah, nah that W what happened was for some reason he really wanted to sit with my friends. Oh let the kid sit. Yeah, but why can't I Let the kid sit? I was already sitting I was already sitting. Stand up. And he like I I like left my stuff there, it was all there and like I just went. And I come back and he's in the spot that I was in. Dude, how recent.

I don't know. I don't know. Like it could have been a year, I don't know. It wasn't like the weekend before. You're dead dead, bruh. No. And then like if for some reason he gets up and goes somewhere and I just move his shit and sick back where I was sitting.

I was like, There's no reason, there's no problem. He's like why you in my spot? He comes back, he's like why you in my spot. I was like, Man, you took my spots like it's so chill. I just sat back down where I was before. It's chill. Like I don't know why this has to be thing. Anyway, so he fucking yells at me and then goes and tells on the teacher. And I get moved by the teacher. As you should. Fuck up. Anyway I'm on this kid side. So I like a move. I I get moved

You're crying. You fucking but you go home and cry to your dad every time. After school every day. I said that to him. No I was like, I bet you go home and cry to your dad every fucking day. What? I thought you were joking. Like I didn't know his like I just didn't realise his dad was dead. Anyway, so he gets really mad and like shirt as he should grab my shirt. I'm like, get the fuck off me. Cause he was like a little bitch. His name was Jeremy Gibbs.

Did he was such a little bitch. He was just like an annoying guy. Um anyway. And he wasn't even friends with my friends. Why did he want to sit with them so bad? Anyway. So later on this this fucking Nuis named Tom. I can't remember his last name. Yeah, don't say their full names. I don't give a fuck. I do. That's just fucked up. What are they gonna come for you? Yeah. No. Anyway, so this new

Tom's dragon. Name drop people you hate. Yeah, fuck that. That's not good. I'm gonna I'm gonna end up in a ditch for four hundred. Four hundred Damn, the reference doesn't make sense. I don't know. Anyway, so this nuisance basically gets in Jeremy's ear. It's like

should fight him at lunch. And he should. Should have fucked you up. No man. He should have fucked you up. No. Anyway. After this pod we're gonna talk about it. We're gonna talk about after this pod. No, no no get your brother hold you hold me back. No, so no that doesn't happen.

And he grabs my shirt again. And I'm like Man, you can either hit me or fuck off'cause I'm busy right now.'Cause I was playing basketball. I hope he knocks you out. He didn't. Oh damn. He didn't do shit. Damn it. He was just stood there and he's like, Why'd you say that shit about my dad? I was like Man, you're just being a bitch. I said that to him.

He didn't do shit man. He didn't do shit. I didn't know I didn't know how recent it was and I had forgot we weren't friends, like I didn't know I don't fucking know what the fuck he's struggling with. Anyway, he doesn't hit me. His friend also then like pushes him out of the way and grabs me and I'm like

He doesn't hit me. Fuck. Dude, I there was pretenses. I said I've never been here. No, but maybe in the stomach just it Nah. So I fucking push him off. Dog. By then there's a like they brought a whole crowd with them to see me like fight this guy. To see us fight. Yeah. And nothing happened. And everyone was so disappointed. But I'm disappointed. I wanted him to drop you. He didn't drop me. No one dropped me. But the teacher comes'cause there's a like a there's a legit the biggest mob I'd seen.

come to the spot that I was.'Cause it was like we'd just go to the basketball courts there's never like at that point, by the time I was in like you nine or ten, there wasn't really people. And Bob comes, teacher sees it, he's like one of my the good teachers that I'm kind of mates with, you know when you're kind of mates with a teacher.

Takes on the whole mob. And he just stops it. Like'cause they've shirt fronted me, they've grabbed me on the on the collar and I've just like nothing's happened. At one point my friend threw the ball at the guy's head and it hit. It bounces off his head. It was so fucking good. I laughed in his face.

It was so good.'Cause we're playing basketball, that's all we wanted to do. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. And like it wasn't the same friends that I was trying to sit with when when he sat with my friends. Oh yeah. It was just like They're part of the mob, they're all against you now. Still no, big no. Anyway, so I get it my fucking first in school suspension, but I'm part of the SRC.

Sh so I get kicked and I have a full day of in school suspension with friends of mine from the SRC. We just spent the whole day doing SRC shit even though I got kicked. Yeah. I got kicked, but I still did the shit. I spent the whole day doing shit all in the SRC. Floating with th this girl that I'd been flirting with forever because she was also in the SRC. We were just chilling out, having a good old time. Damn. Sick, sick. I wish you got punched. Me too. I'd probably be a fighter.

Anyway. Or would have been in the hospital. I haven't even talked about these in b do you want to hear some? Let's hear a few. I accidentally texted my choir teacher, I love you, babe, instead of my As you are texting with your fucking teachers. Why? Who does that? Yeah, it's weird.

What the fuck? A tissue fell out of my shirt in front of a g girl a popular girl who really saw it. I was a really late bloomer after years of being teased, I decided to stuff tissues into my bra hoping that I'd get some relief. Oh Nope, tissue fell out of my shirt in front of a popular girl who saw it, saw it, grabbed it off the ground and ran out. Oh man, poor girl. Damn. Damn, that sucks.

Uh when you try and cover something up and you probably make it a million times worse. Oh man, just to try and fit in. Yeah. This is crazy. My most embarrassing moment may have been that one time I was dozing off in class during a reading session. And just when I hit the point of actual sleep, I moaned so loud it woke me up. The class was quiet. Everyone was staring at me wondering why I made a sexual sounding noise like that. I coughed and tried to cover it up to no avail.

Oh God. Isn't that funny as fuck? That's like unexplainable. What she drew it up? Yeah. Obviously me getting shot. Yeah, hopefully punched. I got up and my friends let me know that I had a pants wedgie. The fabric was getting stuck in my butt. Wow, that sucks. Oh my god. That's not that bad, really. Wow, I'm glad he posted that online. I was two steps away from the toilet door before I shit myself in school. That one's genuinely bad. That one sucks.

Imagine how before people have done this running it. Yeah. Well I haven't shut myself at school. What I'm saying is that close. People have done I bet you have too. I bet you've done this. I probably have. I h I hugged my teacher from the back because I thought she was No, what? Are you fucking nerd? I've never done that. Mum, what are you doing here? Oh Mum, why are you in my y year four class? It's like, no, that's where your teacher is.

You didn't do that? Fuck me. You were nerd, I thought you would have done it. It was my I thought it was my dad. So it was like oh I didn't Why is my English my woman English teacher reminding me of my dad? I don't know. Uh there's more. There's more. I'll read like two or three more. Yeah, get the good ones. When I laughed fuck that's not a good one.

We had to do a wrestling gym class. While fighting a friend I tried to shoot my hand between his legs to pin him down. Unfortunately I shot my hand right up his shorts. He wasn't wending wearing underwear and I spent what seemed like an eternity groping around. What the hell is this? Before I realized I was feeling his bowl his bowl. Man, that's they never spoke again. They were see wrestling or shit like that. In Australia, that's not a thing. Especially at schools, that's not a thing.

But like in America that's a thing. Like wrestling's a school thing. Yeah, but grope in your mate isn't a thing. Well, I mean, it always looks so weird. Yeah. When you see people wrestling. So it's like I'd never be able to do that, that's for sure. Yeah. Fuck that. This one's good. About two weeks into freshman year I decided to wear an adorable knit top with a short jacket over it. I didn't wear a bra because it would show plus I had tiny worms. Thanks for clearing that.

I was informed the shirt was too low and I would need to button up at least two two buttons. I buttoned up and thought nothing. When the day was over I walked outside and a gust of wind caught my jacket and it flipped up. Decided that since school was over I'd just take the jacket off. My left boob was hanging out and I had no idea until no idea until the jacket was off. I was mortified and I don't know who

Ooh unlucky oos. Imagine just having your tits out. I I wish that happened. Yeah, imagine your friends. As a kid I would have loved that. As a as a kid in high school, just like tit out. I would have loved that. Yeah. Any high school boy would've liked that. Yeah.

Right, well that's there's yeah I'm I'm I'm looking and there's no really no good ones. Sometimes the internet fails us. Yeah, it does. Sometimes the fucking sound software fails us. I mean most of them are just about to be a little bit. Yeah. Anyone can do that. I'm I've gotten so good at like far. Not loudly. I have it. People don't know. I learned at Woolworths when I used to work there, I used to practice fighting silently in front of customs.

I just would always be fine. I bet your your station would have stayed Like everyone knows. Oh that's the stanky. I had regulars, man, I don't know. Maybe they liked I I didn't fart heaps. Yeah, but since I worked heaps, like if I didn't know, no one's gonna call you out and be like, Oh, smells too random. But also they w just wouldn't hear it, so they could have thought it was a previous

Yeah. Otherwise if they're if they're always my guy and I'm just farting all all the time'cause they know they come back f just for the farts, man. Hey man, thanks for the farts. Alright. Well I'm gonna end this one here. You got anything else to say? Yeah, you missed the best podcast ever recorded. You missed it. You did. And it's your fault. It's your fault. Not your fault.

It's theirs. It's their fault. Audience, you fucking suck. You missed out. You're the fucking one. It's over now. Yeah. It's gone. It's deleted. Alright, well thanks to uh Sohan. Thanks for the music, my guy. Um so this is going on YouTube guys and I I think I'm gonna ask you to like and subscribe but also share this.

Let's try and make some ad sense and some money. Um anything else, uh if you want to go to my Insta it's R eighteen underscore podcast and on Facebook it's R eighteen plus podcast. Um I think it's R eighteen Pod. On Spotify. Spotify. Apple Music. Let's just double check that. Hold on. Pretty sure you should just search it up. You'll be able to find it. It's not hard. I'll double check just in case. I can't. Anyway.

Thanks for coming. Uh thanks for having me again. It's been fun. I've had fun. Hopefully we record the right shit next time. Yeah. Would have had a banger for you. But you're left with this shit. Yeah. 'Cause you suck dick. Goodbye. Adios. Um have some spatial awareness and look before you turn with the cart with the shopping cart. Yeah, I think that's what I can do. If you don't, you're a bit of a cunt. And like you know what? If you're on a bus, just

Just be respectful. Yeah. Yeah. This is wholesome. This has been a wholesome one. It has. Because we missed out on the best. Also, what we really should take away is make sure both marks are recording. Yeah. Triple test before you start that shit. I don't know, I think this was probably the best one. Like this this is the second best one after the best one disappeared. This is the the second best podcast, but the best one will ever post.

One this is the worst. Because we missed out on the best one. You missed out. Uh they can't help that. Alright, let's wrap this bitch up. Yeah, I'm just trying to set it up so I can turn off the recording properly. I wonder if it's dead. It says it's recording.