Testing 1-2 three testing 1-2 three. Welcome back to queer woman rising. I'm your host Sophia Spellino. This podcast is for the lesbians who are looking for love, who are inspired by the love stories in lesbian world. Except that I don't have one for you today, but I do have a dating life update. Loki scared to be posting this with my hair like this and it's natural state because the last time I posted with natural hair I had comments like what happened to your hair?
Are you OK? And what happened to my hair is God made me with curly hair and I just blew it out everyday and like what hurt my feelings except I've been a human of the Internet for a while and I don't know if I have feelings anymore. Whoa, my pop filter fell off. If you're not watching this podcast on YouTube or Spotify, what are you doing? You can now watch Queer Women Rising and it's just more fun that way. So checking in, how's everybody doing? It is March 26th on the day of
recording this. I'm about to go on my first ever Queer Country Club retreat. I've got some packing to do. I've got my suitcase ready to go. I'm so excited. I have never been on a luxury queer anything. In fact, I've never been on like a luxury group trip in general. Typically that's something I do only with a partner. And since I'm a single girly now, I was like, I need to plan a trip. OK, I'm going to do that by myself.
And then I was like, wait, I could invite the women inside of my lesbian dating club, the queer Country Club, to join and turn it into a retreat. And I've been planning like a mad woman. And it is going to be beautiful. I cannot wait to share everything that we're doing. Actually, I should probably pull up our entire schedule and read it to you guys because that would be fun. Wouldn't it be fun? OK, I'm going to do that. I'm going to turn the camera around.
I don't know, literally pull up the retreat schedule because this makes me happy. I've been working so hard to make it so beautiful. OK, Obviously I would not put out this episode until the retreat happened. So nobody's I didn't, I don't know, like nobody knows our schedule, what we're doing moment by moment until after. But OK, when we first get there, I planned a beautiful lunch. We're going to be eating lunch at Canyon Ranch's like beautiful
sit down place. It's just going to be divine. And we're going to have Kundalini yoga right when we get started. So freaking excited to do this, but do it with lesbians who are just so there for the right reasons. Everyone here is like ready to spiritually up level to become the woman that they want to be, to call in their future wife. Because we really can't call on someone that we aren't already, aren't already. Oh, I don't know if it sounds right.
If we aren't already at that energetic level, how do we call in that person? OK, so that's the first thing and we're going to be doing like sauna and cold plunging and having snacks together. Then we have a meditation plan and then we have a dinner outside. I'm so freaking pumped. And then hot tub chat until 10:00 PM. Can't freaking wait. I don't know. I'm baby grandma. We're probably a lot of baby grandmas. We make it till 10:00 PM. I'm not sure, but we can stay
out there till that time. So I'm really excited about that. The next next day, we're going to go on a beautiful morning walk that's led by a Canyon Ranch guide. And then we're going to have breakfast together outside and we'll start doing spa services. We have a collagen facial scheduled. We've got a massage scheduled. We have spiritual guidance, private spiritual guidance scheduled with a Canyon Ranch spiritual guide. Cannot freaking wait.
Then then Canyon Ranch called me and was like, we have the craft for you guys. So I was like, I really want to do a craft that we get to take home and that we could all remember our time together on this first queer Country Club retreat and Canyon Ranch. My my girl calls me and she's like, I have just the thing and I'm like what?
And she's like, we're going to be making rainbow crystal sun catchers, which, OK, I get it. A lot of the women that I help in private platinum matchmaking or come to these retreats, they're not fully like defined by their sexuality. Like they're very successful. They don't wear a ton of rainbows in the courtroom if they're a lawyer, you know what
I mean? Like, but everyone can use a little sun catcher to put in their window or put in their bathroom window and have like a little rainbow glue. OK. So I felt like this was a very subtle queer piece of art that I'm just so tickled pink. It was like a little God wink. That Canyon rancher would be like, yeah, we're going to do this for you guys.
That was really exciting. And then we're going to do a stretch and relaxation class together and then we're going to do some solo time for journaling and then just prepare for our dinner. We're going to be doing dinner outside again and then of course having some time just to chat and me ask some guided questions and just get to know each other so much deeper. And then the next day we have sunrise yoga and then breakfast. And of course they'll be some of
us getting more services. And then we have 11 AM sacral chakra hip opening. I cannot wait. I cannot wait to do hip opening yoga that is linked so much with letting go of past things. If you do any research about your sacral chakra, that is where as women, we hold the most pain, the most resentment, the most trauma. And so when we open this up, we're actually allowing new things, good things to come in and letting go of old resentments. So really pumped about that.
And I'm queen of studying letting go. I don't know if you have heard my song, My Healing. If you haven't yet, you can listen to it on Spotify. But I play the harp and it was something I wrote a long time ago. And it is about that, that deep release. So I'm really excited that this is something we all get to experience together. And then we're going to do key gong at one after our lunch. And lastly, A drumming circle. I've never done that. I'm so freaking pumped. So drumming circle.
And we'll say our goodbyes. And that was our three days of retreat. It's just gonna be beautiful, beautiful, beautiful. I think I may do another one in August. I'm not quite sure yet at the time of filming when that will be. But if you're like Sophia, this is something I want to be a part of. I want to know more. You want to get on the wait list? Right now we have a lot of women on the wait list, so get on it.
But we'll be giving you more updates to like, hey, I'm going to be releasing this thing because when I do, we only have 5 to 10 spots per retreat and it's gonna go fast. So DM me wait list if you haven't gotten on the wait list yet or e-mail the word wait list to [email protected] so we can make sure you're in. Should we lead another retreat? I keep telling everyone I got to go on this one and see like
energetically how I feel. And then we'll go from there because I'm such a little homebody, OK? I made notes. I made notes for this podcast episode because it's so low. It's just me. And I went on my first date post breakup. I broke up like on the 4th, 5th of January. And I went on my first date at the like mid middle of March. And I have to say that it went really well. And everyone's like, are you like dating this woman exclusively? No, I'm not dating this woman
exclusively. Honestly, I'm not sure if I'm dating anyone exclusively right now. It is my job to help you guys find your future wife. And my heart, I just want it to stay really open. It doesn't mean I'm not open to seeing where something could go. It doesn't mean that I'm shutting anyone out. It just means that I'm open. And for a long time, especially with the religious trauma that I've had as a woman who grew up in the South, didn't know she was gay, Wait until marriage,
have sex. Like all these things that makes you really afraid to start relationship or to give love. And one of the things that I learned, there's three things I learned as I went On this date and as I opened up my heart again and as I gave someone a real shot is that giving someone your time, giving someone your attention, giving someone your affection, giving someone your love, or even giving someone sex is not taking anything away from you.
If you want to give to that person, if you feel like your cup is so full, you have so much to give and you have a connection with someone, for the longest time, I was taught that you shouldn't do these things till marriage. And we've broken every boundary because according to people who believe in the Bible verbatim, they don't believe that women can marry women. I beg to differ.
But, And if you are struggling with this, I encourage you to watch the film 1946 so you can learn about the gross mistranslation. That actually was the year 1946 that the word homosexual was strategically politically placed in the Bible. So yeah, they're bad motives. With that being said, as a girlie who went through that indoctrination, religious trauma, there's a part of me that still like feels guilty whenever I have any connection with someone. And I'm like, oh, it's not like
a serious thing. I'm not saying I didn't take this woman seriously at all 'cause I did, but I am saying that I knew, hey, we're probably going to have sex. I would not call it a hookup. I would not call it a one night thing because it was not a one night date. It was like a very long week long date. And we went to Disney together. We had a great time. But I knew in my heart this may or may not lead to something else. It may or may not.
And I knew that I was in a place, a grounded place, enough to be like, yeah, let's go there if we both want to go there. I'm really big on doing my STDSTI check UPS between partners. Highly highly highly recommend WISP. I've worked with them for three years. I'm not getting paid to say this but they are a partner of mine on other posts on Instagram and I do the test. I have my partner do tests and yeah, like why not to grown consenting adults.
This is the first time in my life where I feel like I can say that because I've always been like this has to a turn into a relationship or else. And I didn't feel that. So yeah, that's one of the things I wanted to talk about is love expansion, open heartedness multiplies. We are taught that like having sex is popping your cherry or giving someone your virginity or whatever. You're not giving anyone anything but love and you are
receiving. And as long as it's to people in mutuality, knowing what it is, knowing what it isn't, and being open to what it could be and being truly like, yeah, this could turn into something more that felt right for me, that felt so right for me. So that's what I did for the first time ever because otherwise, every other time that I've ever slept with someone, it was truly with the intention of this will be my long term partner. And this time I'm not playing games in my head.
I am married to my work and it is my purpose and my path to help women find their future wife. So right now I'm extremely focused on that. I work crazy hours and yeah, that's my number one priority right now. A lot of people tell me, Oh my gosh, your marketing is like so good it goes viral. Other people tell me your marketing is too much about yourself. You're always trying to find your future wife. In reality, yes, I am trying to find my future wife. If she comes along through his
process, awesome. If I meet her and she's a private matchmaking client and I'm like, wait, I ain't putting you on the market. I'm taking you for like, yes, that's always in the back of my head, but my priority is helping you find love. So yeah, super vulnerable to say like I am looking for my future wife. Yes, I mean it when I say it, but at the same time, I'm really creating effective content to help you guys find your future
wife. Because when I attract in those ideal top tier lesbians, I'm able to put them in the queer Country Club or if they're more private, they come to me for private matchmaking and then I'm able to match them discreetly. I'm attracting the right women, the kind of women you actually want to date. By me saying I'm looking for a future wife doesn't mean I'm not. I am, but it's not my focus right now. I am very, very focused on my career and helping you.
So with that being said, I had an open heart knowing what it is, what it isn't and what it could be. And I don't regret anything. I had the absolute most best time. Sex was so good. It was pretty spiritual even, like she's very spiritual and like sensual and have to say, probably best sex of my life. Yeah. So good times, good times. 10 out of 10, highly recommend. Meet yourself, someone that you feel safe with and enjoy the ride. The number 2 thing that I learned is dating is data.
It's we think of it as data about them and then we're going to make a decision on if we're going to go on another date or not. Yes, but it's also dating is data about yourself. Like I learned so much more about myself and so much more. I looked at this person and was like, oh like there's these things that you energetically give me that I didn't realize that I need it and that I would crave in a long term relationship. I wouldn't have known to put that on my list unless I would
have been with you. Oh, I love the way that you have sex. Like I am never settling for sex that isn't as juicy and beautiful and full and long and like deep as this. And then there's the things you see that you don't love. Maybe I don't know. And you just go, OK, I see why. Like maybe this thing wouldn't be compatible with me long term. So then you talk about it or you just knowed it and you know what to tell Sapphic.
So if you are AI matchmaker in the queer Country Club or you just keep that data for yourself and know how to update your own standards. I want to show you guys this. I keep looking at it on my desk. I got this cup when I was in Disney World. I mostly bought like little souvenirs for my niece and nephew. I buy them like big, big sets of Disney characters and then I break down the sets. Of course I couldn't like pack
those big boxes anyway. But I break down the sets and then every time I see them I give them like 1 character and they feel like it's like the best thing ever. But in reality it was like, I don't know, like if you pay for a $30 set and you split it 10 different ways, each character is only three bucks. So every time I see them, I give them this little toy, but they think it's like $1,000,000.
Makes my like single lesbian childless life happy when I see those kids light up. So that's what I got. I got like enough presents to provide for them breaking down sets for like literally a year and a half and it was so fun. The only thing about myself was this mug. And if you're watching it, you can see I've got my little lipstick stain on it, this mug, and it says love. And it's in my favorite shade of like Mauvi pink. And it's got a little Mickey on it.
And the reason I got it is to remind myself that like, it was really the first time in my life, I'm 32 where I didn't let religious trauma get in the way. And I just, like, had consensual, safe, beautiful fun with somebody that, yes, I would not go out with this person if I didn't think they were compatible. I'm literally a matchmaker, OK. And maybe it goes somewhere in the future. I don't know. But what I'm saying is I knew it may or may not go somewhere. I was willing to have that fun.
And yeah, I don't know that that just meant a lot to me. And that that brings me to my third and last point, which is, yes, we're looking for our future wives, but we can't forget about the present. We can't forget about now. We've got to be here now because all we have is now. And if we live in the future, we're going to feel deeply unsatisfied every freaking moment of the present. And I can honestly say that I felt so happy in the moment and
I felt so happy after. And I can look back at that and be like, I'm so happy that I did it. So yes, we're looking for a future wife, but we are going to live present. OK, Life is short. Like God forbid, but if something happened tomorrow, like don't you want to know that you Live Today? I know I do. I've spent a lot of my life not living, overworking, worried about what other people think I'm living. And this weekend I'm going to truly be living. I'm so excited for this retreat.
I could literally cry. Like I need it so much. I planned it when I was going through the depths of despair and my breakup. But like I need it so much. I just need to tap out and like connect. I can be such a loner and I know other women out there too. I know a lot of queer women are also a neuro spicy like me. And like I love being alone, but like alone isn't always good for
me, right? I'm really excited to challenge myself to spend so much quality time with these women and women I actually want to spend time with. The women on the retreats are women who have been in my DMS like I'm very clear on who they are and their values and actually want to hang out with them, like let's chill together. So that's what I'm excited for. I think that's really it. I think that's all I wanted to share.
I just want to encourage you. If you've gone through a breakup and you feel like you have to date again, but you don't know where to start, start by finding someone like yes, you could align, align with forever, but like take some pressure off and just like enjoy. Just enjoy your freaking life. And if you think like you have to be a certain level of healed before you ask someone on a date, screw that.
If you if you have come to the reality where you're not wishing you were with your ex because you have had the rude realization that your ex is not who you thought they were. Or you had the rude realization that you and your ex will not work together and you're able to see the future that you don't want to have. You're very clear that you no longer want your ex in your life. That is enough healing. There's nothing else that you need. Just start dating again.
You were torturing yourself by thinking you need to be alone unless you truly don't want to go on a date and you're just enjoying life by yourself. But you can do both sis. You can hold the nuance of I'm in my healing era, I'm in my me era and also go on a date and also get back into dating. And if you need help with that. I'm here for you. I'm here for you. It's very, very clear.
The three ways to work with me. One, private coaching to join the Queer Country Club, my lesbian dating club for monogamous women. Or three, my Platinum private matchmaking for my private, discreet women who don't really want to go on the dating platform and want their matches handed to them on a silver platter. Go on the date and go on the date. Take care of yourself, take care of your heart.
Be very clear with your boundaries, physically, in your own mind and in your own heart and in your own body before you want. Go on the date, but go on the date, OK? I think that's all I'm going to say. Thank you for listening to Queer Woman Rising. If you enjoyed this, please by all means send it to your lesbian friends. Send it to your lesbian friends who are like I just want to find a lesbian with the job. This economy is crazy and I
can't be someone's mom. I think it's a short point, but seriously that is like my mantra lately. That is what I am looking for. Those are the women I'm looking for to help match you with and those are the women I want listening to the show. If you know a lesbian who has their shit together, I still feeling lonely. This is the podcast for her. Send it her way and I hope you have a great day. Thanks for being here.
Thanks for doing life with me. This is weird to share your whole life with the world, but also it's been my way of doing life for, gosh, like 10 years now, so I don't know another way. You guys are my friend, except that I'm making real friends this weekend at the Queer Country Club Retreat. I can't wait because making friends as an adult is hard.