Happy Holigays!

Hey y'all, this podcast contains potentially disturbing content.

Our show includes graphic references to topics such as sexual abuse, self-harm, violence, eating disorders, explicit language, and sexual acts. Listener discretion is advised. This show is for mature audiences only. Good morning and welcome back to another episode of the Queer LBC Podcast. I'm your host, Nino. My pronouns are he, him. Thank you for asking. I have with me here, my fabulous cohorts. Yo, it's me, Christoph, your city top liaison. My pronouns are he, him, and dad, motherfucker.

Dr. Mikey here, your local, licensed, and practicing therapist for entertainment purposes only. My pronouns are he, she, all of them. So, what are we talking about today, Nino?

Well, today, I wanted to talk about the holidays. Yes, folks, it's that time of year again. And we just wanted to go easy today and talk to you about the joyous cold winter season and what we're up to and how we'll be celebrating. So tell me, what was your Christmas economic experience? How's that been this year? Are you spending any money this year? Are you spending money on people?

Do you do that? No, I'm not. No. Nope. Unless it's like, you know, sometimes at work we do like a white elephant gift exchange or some shit like that. Or like, you know, stuff like that. So, or we do like Elfster. What the fuck is that? It's like another website where you get people in together and then you can make your own like wish list.

And then people draw names and you get, instead of like doing an old school where you just pick out a name out the thing it's just automatically not Elfster is it without the ER is it just R like Grindr I spelled correctly.

Gross that sounds so gross I hate that I hate white elephant why, I hate white elephant so much i think it's because i never grew up doing it and i just would like see people doing it and be like what the fuck are you doing and why are you stealing presents from people and why is this is not fun and this is shit and of course it's fun like yeah you must be playing with people who don't know how to do a white elephant that's what i say i don't play i just look at it from

afar and oh so you haven't participated i have never been i don't think i've ever been part of oh yeah ever so yeah you wouldn't you wouldn't find it amusing because you ain't getting shit yeah i guess i don't know but it's fun because you get like a little knockoff gear for like they give you a limit but i always see it when it's like somebody has like a playstation and it gets stolen from you okay anybody bad fucking playstations or are you going for christmas.

You, you're trauma bonded cause ain't no way nobody played a playstation inside of a white elephant right girl the ones I go to are like a $25 limit right okay, it's usually a candle or a butt plug yeah.

And maybe it's the same thing maybe it could be a dual you know dual situation but I like white elephant I didn't grow up with it I did it more as an adult with like friends and.

Um and my family did it as we got older as adults too so we can buy the gifts because they weren't gonna buy gifts for the cousins to give out in the white elephant like that um but i learned to like it it was cute but i hate it when you have what you want and then someone steals it exactly it makes me so mad that's why i'm like fuck that yeah i would fucking probably leave christmas and ruin the whole thing just flip the table no thank you um i also hate it when

you do like a gift exchange with and you'd like draw elfster names out of a hat and like i was just going back to this one time in high school where like it was a 20 limit and i went to the 20 limit for the person who i had and i actually spent a lot of time trying to figure out what they liked and then the person who got me like didn't like spent like not even like eight bucks and like got me some random bullshit and i'm like what the fuck is this fuck

you oh yeah i would be pissed yeah so i was very pissed and i never wanted to be a part of any of that shit ever again where i'm like getting like monetarily screwed that's true i that i could understand yeah because that did happen to me once too i it was like a limit of like 30 bucks you know i did a nice little cute little you know So went to the adult store and got like a clone your willy and like some condoms, some loo, doo doo doo boo boo boo.

So we going back and forth and changing this shit, and I end up, I'll bullshit y'all not, with a pound of pink Himalaya salt. Oh, my God. A pound? That's it? I said, I don't even fucking cook. Wow. Especially not with a pound of salt. Everybody was like, you might as well got a bag of coal. What the fuck?

Close enough. That's dirty. Right. people said that but i was like you know what it is what it is i don't i don't i'm not gonna use salt because i really don't use salt when i cook so it's like i could just leave it at the house that i'm at now i got a margarita so i got a lifetime supply of pink himalaya salt see now you're putting all the effort and getting a used bag of himalaya salt i was fresh it was it wasn't open yet that would be even worse imagine like it was already used it's

like oh i'm not a fan of pinkamalaya so you just remind me what i had got it wasn't even a gift it was a gift card and it was like a fucking off number it was already used or some shit and it was like probably some place i didn't even go also oh shit that is ridiculous that's why you gotta play with people who yeah, who takes it seriously yeah and see but that's what i like about this little fster website because it literally,

you put in, you go shopping and you put the limit in. This is where you get it. Exactly. Dude, that's what you put in there. That's what you put in there. So dirty. I like that. You know, the new Christmas game that I don't like is the one where you have to unwrap the present in mittens and it's wrapped in ceram wrap and gift wrap.

And then one person's unwrapping it with mittens on, like the kitchen mittens and then someone else is flipping something and you have to get it a certain position if you get it, then you have to swap, is this white people stuff yeah it's one of those white people things that went like viral yeah because i think they had like it was like a big ball of gifts yeah so you while you unraveling it a gift will fall out and that's your gift yeah until somebody else get the ball and then,

see that's a lot of bullshit see but i guess it that brings you know families well it could bring families together or it could bring families apart you know but i think it's mostly like you know for teens and adolescents i don't think a lot of grown people is playing that type of game you know unless it's just like you know shot glasses or like you know something like cup right you know a joint or two or like you know who knows i want a smoking game that'd be cool.

Like how i don't know, My lungs will be. What are you guys going to do? Do you guys have plans for Christmas or the season? I don't know. I don't know if it's another day above ground for me because I have to work that following Friday. So, like, it's weird that on Thanksgiving you get the day after off. But on Christmas, you only get Christmas Day. You only get Christmas Eve or the day after. So it's just like.

I feel like you should get Christmas Eve off. I know, because I've noticed that a lot of Hispanic families usually do everything on Christmas Eve. Like, Christmas Day is not, like, really important. A lot of families spend it on Christmas Eve. That's true. I feel like Christmas Eve has more juice than Christmas Day. Like, Christmas Eve is, like, you're fucking, and then once midnight comes, you orgasm. And then Christmas Day is just, like, ugh.

Like, I'm just, like. turn of like who the fuck is it right post nut post nut regret post nut clarity you're like shit now I gotta clean all this up, it was a great idea 20 minutes ago right that's how I felt Christmas is that's funny Christmas is a post nut clarity. No do I have any plans I'm supposed to go to my fiance's mother's house on Christmas Eve because that is what they do. Oh, okay. It's accurate? Mm-hmm, it's accurate. So we spend a little evening over there.

We have dinner and I'm usually the only one who will have anything to drink. And then we... I think toast, usually, to his dad, who's passed away. R.I.P. And then we open the millions of presents that his mom gets us. And it's like, I thank you so much, but it is a little overwhelming, the gifting. What do you mean? It's like there's so, like they, like she and his brother, because they live together, they will give us so many gifts.

It's like multiple bags of like and in the bags there's like multiple items wow and it's like while it is nice it's also like overwhelming and it's like oh my god you got us like all of this like stuff and then you kind of feel like well girl now i need to like re now and now i need to pay you back somehow oh the obligation yeah that's not what christmas is about right appreciate your gifts right and give them what you can give what you give because you want to give exactly so it kind

of feels like yeah kind of like overwhelming and like oh thank you thank you a million times, and then it's like well i only got you like one main thing here's a one sorry so it does kind of feel like like like obligationy like oh well just don't go.

Just don't go to your hispanic parents house for a holiday that's what i i haven't gone to my family's holiday in i don't know how many years but they are also like i have no idea, we're we're the generation i'm third generation see he's first he's first a little different right yeah so you might as well like yeah yeah but i also think like i think that's the pressure of christmas is to give and i think people feel obligated but i think that's just very like capitalistic right

like that's what this holiday has really i mean has probably always been but more recently it definitely has been more capitalistic driven you know yeah i always feel that with like my family they always want to do like gifts all the time and i'm just like, why don't we just spend this money on ourselves and we all get what we actually want let me what i want because like they always ask you what do you want for christmas and then you

tell them and they don't get you that right so i'm like bitch can i just like not spend money on you and you won't get whatever you didn't want and then i won't get whatever i didn't want and we both didn't waste our money. How would we do that? Nobody is down for this idea ever. But I mean...

I don't know i mean giving gifts is cool if it's like in your heart and it's like oh i saw this and i thought of you and i'm like i'll get them that yeah yeah like when i buy my friends gifts i feel like that's what it is like i see it like i see the item and i'm like oh that person right like oh this person will enjoy this yeah yeah you know what and i'm thinking of you but i feel like when it's his mom getting us gifts i almost feel it's

like she has this like i need to buy shit i need to buy crap all the fucking time and i'm now like using you as my excuse to buy the crap, so now you get to have these items that i like had the splurge on because i have like this weird addiction of shopping oh yeah that makes sense and i have to say this every year because the people need to hear this one day one day but the true meaning of christmas, why did that make me laugh because I mean in reality what even is Christmas,

you know what I'm saying I mean we all know the I guess the.

The Christian or religious aspect of Christmas you know what I'm saying but what is actually Christmas to you, more like what even is Christmas because it's not even his real birthday no it's not what even is this and it has pagan foundations, right because that's like what like the winter solstice yeah the winter solstice see this is crazy because look this is how they probably came across this the winter solstice is the day that light returns to us,

so they always say like in religion God is light. So, is that why they chose the 25th? Is that why they chose December Christmas to be Christ Day? Because of that? I don't know. Things that make you go, hmm. I guess we can just Google it. But they ain't going to tell you that because they ain't write the Bible. You know what I'm saying? Like, why, in that sense, choose the 25th or the winter solstice as the return of Christ?

Because you wanted to convert the pagans into being christians so you're going to introduce them to this new religion but then take elements of theirs and mix them together and brainwash yeah exactly so it's like hey you celebrate the same day that we celebrate but we celebrated for this reason but you get to go to heaven if you celebrate it with us under this disguise so it's just a way to convert people and make it easier to get them to be christians or

them to be christians yeah i guess they had an actual holiday called saturnalia um and sol in victus the unconquered sun yeah they were very extremely popular festivals and so they just decided they're like rebrand yeah because i'm reading that the the saturnalia the one in rome that it was like gift giving role reversals which sounds like they're doing drag, Merry making I don't know what that means That sounds sad.

But like it sounded like It sounded like a party It sounds very familiar It just became more of a Just like you said earlier Like a capitalism type of holiday Where in reality It's being festive In regards of just being joyful That light has returned to us And. All of a sudden, I was like, buy these people anything and everything they want. Yeah. For doing nothing. Speaking of buying, there's this Christmas winter festival, I think. Capitalistic festival.

I think it's and I need a park. I definitely want to go to this Christmas festival. It's just like, I think booze with shit you buy.

So what is it? it's just like a capitalistic christmas experience i think it's like little things like little booths of like food oh okay like vendors and all that so like a big ass flea market like a big ass christmas flea market essentially no thank you i'm down that's wild i was craving i was craving hot chocolate so fucking hard the other night and i i literally looked in the cabinets and i had nothing i didn't even have milk anyways i was gonna literally make it from

scratch but i have shit maybe i'll go to the grocery store and get some shit tonight, because i make a good ass hot cocoa from scratch. She's a housewife i'm a housewife what do you guys do for the holidays to make you feel warm uh i make tamales yeah okay that's a good tradition what kind yeah i'm gonna make up again this year um last year i made uh chicharron tamales oh, No, thank you. You're like, oh, yeah, sure, God, you don't eat meat.

I think that year I also made, like, squash. Ooh, I never had a squash. Yeah. Tamale. So I make, like, squash. Well, I say it like that. I do not know. Racist. Canceled. But you can't say, like, you can't say tamales. Can I get a tamales? Tamales. I was watching, so somebody said, somebody called Vaseline Baseline. Not the white accent. They were black. Oh. Even worse. Base line. If you make some, can you make some red pork ones? Red pork ones? Okay.

I'll do that. Or green chicken ones. Oh, you like the green chicken ones? Okay, okay. I'll make some green chicken ones. I don't know why. I do not care about that. Well, can I get some corn? Then I want some squash, some veggies. Oh, yeah. When I do that, I do squash, corn, tomato, and then some onion and garlic in it. And then just put in the tamale. Yeah, yeah.

I got you. i'll make you some yeah um i i like the the green tamale i like the ones with the cheese oh yeah and jalapeno and jalapeno yeah but the one i make is i get like the chicharron with the meat on it and i chop it up then i may make the green sauce and i soak it in the green sauce let it cook a little bit so it's like chile right there kind of bitch now i want tamales they're go to north gate or some shit they have them they do y'all should come over and make some it's fun,

it's an experience never have you ever made them and so one of my friends they that's a tradition too they make tomorrow tomorrow tomorrow now i'm gonna call them tamales tamils uh. And no, I've seen them, the process. And I was like, you know what? I don't think I got the patience. Because I think it's a lot of work. Especially with the masa. Then you got the, they had like the, and I think they make their, well, I guess you have to make your own masa.

Right? Oh, you can get it prepared. You can go to the grocery store and get it. And then it's prepared and ready. They make their own masa. That's more. For sure. But it'd be so good. I'm like, what masa do you use? I go to Northgate. Or Northgate. I get from there. There's another really good one. I forgot what it's called, but we wanted to get there last year. And the line was around the corner. It was ridiculous. I feel like my grandpa used to get the one from Diana's. Or what the fuck is

that? Oh, yeah. I heard of that place, yeah. I've heard that that actual restaurant is not good. I don't know. I've only had the tortillas from the grocery store. That little curl. Yeah. Yeah. yeah but whatever so that's your tradition your tradition is going into your in-laws.

And then are y'all have to work the next day or do you usually take it off well my job, actually gave us that day off oh nice yeah that's good they give us a 24th and 25th off and we were supposed to work the 26th but then they were like on a saturday no the christmas is a Thursday. Oh, this year? Oh, the 24th and the 25th. Yeah, I got off. Oh, okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then 26th, they're like, oh, we realize the day after Christmas, we'll give it to y'all off.

Oh, shit, nice. Yeah. I work every day and just off on Christmas. Oh, dang. That's mean. What about you? Are you off or y'all know yet? I. I know I get Christmas off. I think I get Christmas Eve off. Do I? I don't think I do get Christmas Eve. But... I hope they don't have this work. I had a job that gave us the week between Christmas Eve to New Year's off. Oh, nice. That was the best. I used to have a job like that. And it was paid. Ooh. It was like, ugh.

Definitely just for the next. Those were the days. I know. Before. What is this called? The downfall?

Uh-huh. uh-huh um but yeah christmas um do you know anything about kwanzaa do i know anything do you fuck with kwanzaa in real life i mean i don't really celebrate i don't really celebrate holidays like i mean i would participate um but like i'm not like when i was growing up we did celebrate, Kwanzaa as a family, oh my god please tell me about that what you want to know about it I mean we I mean it's just like what kind of traditions did your family so it wasn't even

a tradition you know like motherfuckers get that moment when they want to be you know, culturally appropriate exactly and like, fuck the white man we gonna do Kwanzaa this year like it ain't nothing but like celebrating and knowledgeable and being and knowledgeable about Kwanzaa and the eight principles. So it's just like, I think we did it like twice in my childhood. So it wasn't nothing more of like, cause even we'll celebrate Christmas still, but Kwanzaa is the day after Christmas till what?

I think like the first, so it's just like, did it really feel like a part of you it wasn't like really like culturally, instilled ingrained in you did it kind of just feel like why are we doing this no cause, representation does matter it was like you know I took it as getting back connected to culture and like you know. Ancestors and what not And that's how that's usually how our family took it as, especially my aunt.

So it was more of like, you know, getting back into our ancestors and like just having that type of energy and vibe. Oops, sorry. But yeah, other than that, it really wasn't like I remember we were just like light the candles at night. It's almost like almost like Hanukkah.

Because i i'm actually really interested in it because i i only ever get to see like, pseudo depictions on tv like oh yeah that i don't even like they don't even really get into yeah and like it always kind of like i never really knew anybody who celebrated it right because it's just basically like because i know it's like a recent invention like you know i mean not as old as, the Christmas. Right. Yeah. Because I think it came like well from according to Wikipedia.

I believe like a I didn't know it was like a it was developed in 1965. Yeah. Like a professor or somebody a doctor he like invented it to like get us or get y'all get us back to our roots. I know my 12% coming out. To get us back to our roots And I always thought that was really cool and interesting. I feel like we should have like a gay Kwanzaa. Isn't that what pride is? Oh, no, I mean Christmas time. But in winter, yeah. It's going to be the same thing as Christmas.

But we have a whole different day and a different name. Totally. And put some rainbows on shit.

Call it Quizmas.

But yeah, I don't have any like, we didn't really have traditions. Because it was all a fucking struggle in any goddamn way. Be glad to get... We rarely got like gifts. We had got essentials. So you're getting underwear, socks, thermals, boots, a coat, and sit your ass down and watch this Home Alone and get out of my face. You unwrap something, right? And dinner will be ready. And sit in front of the TV and be happy as hell and call it a day.

So it wasn't like, you know, I mean, granted we did get toys and whatnot, you know. It's giving Christmas in the Bronx in the 80s. I mean, shit, and that's what it should be now because motherfuckers is out here asking for way too much, especially in this economy and kids don't know what the fuck going on. But they want they laptops, they this, they that, the drones or whatever the hell is out here nowadays. But it's just like, you know, that's not the meaning of Christmas.

Oh my God, I couldn't imagine having an Edgar haircut kid ask me for some stupid bullshit. Oh my God. Shut the fuck down. You would've dropped the money. You getting nieces and nephews? No, I did not. Okay, well that's good. You? Mm-mm. Yeah, I have like literally zero child types in my life. Okay, and I think that's different because I think you want to give them, you want to see the joy on their face, but also that's not the fucking meaning. You know what I mean?

Yeah but i what we did it what one thing that we done two years ago me and a group of friends we, donated like we went in like okay everybody go and spend fifty dollars to get toys and we're just gonna have a party on like the right before christmas eve and wrap all these gifts it was like 10 of us so it's like 50 gifts and we just donated it to a children's clinic and he's like you know what i mean we we don't see the joy on their face

but we know like somebody in need got something that their parents probably couldn't afford at that time so it's just like those are the type of things that like a tradition that i'm now that we're now starting to um.

Embrace that's cool so they need to be unwrapped no no because why do you need to be unwrapped it's going to ask for that don't see but that's only see and i don't like that because well and well some people do that because they're that's a massive thing this was one doctor that we had relationship with and we was like these is going to his clients so like we we like did it for like, like we try to get non-gender based gifts. I like that. You know what I'm saying? So something that anybody,

if they pick it, they could utilize it in that sense. You know what I'm saying? So we try to stay away from gender norm gifts. But I do understand why people want people to unwrap it because people are sick.

You know what I'm saying? Cause I don't want you to, I need to know if this child, can get this gift or this should be going to a teenager you know what i'm saying like i don't want a two-year-old to get a 13 and plus age group gift so in that sense i can see why if it's a mass donation it's for the safety of the child to make sure that they get a proper gift it's so that the person who's wearing the scam can pick out the best for their kids no, That's a really cool tradition. Yeah.

That is cute. Well, you know, times is high now, so I don't think we... It's a little short to pull that off. We are the poor now, girl. Look, okay, can somebody go ahead and do this for me? For real. Right. So it was fun. It was a good time. So... We didn't do that. But yeah, that's the only thing as far as tradition. I remember as a kid going to those little toy drives like that at the park where you had to line up and they give you a Christmas present. And there were always terrible presents.

They never had anything good. What did you get? One time I got a cash register. Another time I think I got like a truck. Not a truck. Oh my god, at least it wasn't a football I know, But I remember that That was fun I remember I got a football one time And I was like I was like offended I was like, fuck, do you even know That I'm a little queer ass Little fucking faggot boy What am I gonna do with this Have you ever met me? What the fuck is this? Who did it? Who said it?

Stand up right now escort yourself out i mean i felt bad even though i was like three and i was still like judging the gift but i was like you you failed you failed three four football that's stupid right what you want me to just fucking use as a teether right i don't even know you was teethered i'm sure it was like a nerf one but oh okay regardless they're ready for you what was i supposed to be nice did you ever sit on santa's lap i mean as a everybody parent put their fucking

kids on a fucking stranger-ass lab. Right. Which is fucking weird, but... Yes. I also went to the Silver Fox, what, a couple of years when they had Santa, which was like a little cute little go-go boy in a Santa suit. Nice. I sat on his lap. Lovely. So that was about the last time I sat on Santa's lap. I'm trying to think. Am I doing any traditions? I just do like an ornament exchange with my family. Oh, okay. Do you put a tree up?

I put a tree up, yeah. Oh, yeah, my tree. Wow, fraud. My tree is fake. My tree is fake. Fake like me. But all my ornaments on my tree are like food ornaments. Oh, okay. That's cool. They're like glass ornaments, but like the theme is food. Okay, so it's not like really a Christmas Christmas tree. It's just like a, you know. There are like some random Christmassy themed ornaments, I guess. Okay. Like there's a Christmas tree ornament on my Christmas tree. Meta. I know, right?

That's so stupid. All these Christmas trees on my Christmas tree. But yeah, my fiance gave me a gift of, it's a hamburger and fries.

Uh ornament and then i gave separately or together it's like a it's like a yeah they're in a tray oh and then i gave him actually i gave him a beyonce ornament oh shit nice because it was like um our beyonce you're basically with all the we went to cowboy carter three times so i was like i saw this one it's literally of beyonce glass blown so i bought that because she has some ornaments on her website uh-huh for the cowboy quarter but like themed as like ornaments uh but he

i already knew that he was gonna just go and buy them anyways which he did um and so i bought him the beyonce one but then i also bought him a different food one which is a salad bowl it's like a salad okay this is you gotta take a picture of the tree i want to see it because that's that's a nice tradition like you know gift gift changing for different um ornaments that's cool as fuck that's a nice tradition yeah i give my friends some too yeah they're always so cute

nice i think i've given you a couple like rainbow gay ones yeah rainbow and then i think you gave me a frito one.

Nice do you put a tree up uh i yeah i used to i haven't done in a few years um just because there's not a lot of space anymore um but i think i might get a little one and decorate it but i also did ornaments i used to have a tradition where we drove to this ornament store like in the valley because it was a huge store and with a bunch of different trees and each tree was a different theme what is the name of that store because i've been there too traditions okay that is the best store

ever yeah i love that you get to purchase or you just go to see different trees No, you get a purchase That's how they display the ornaments that you can buy Oh, so like once we have all the same ornaments Yeah, or the theme This is the sea theme This is the Halloween theme This is the animal theme Yeah, that place is sick, So yeah, I used to go every year And buy an ornament that kind of represented That year Oh, okay.

Yeah we actually have so many ornaments that i actually have two separate tiny christmas trees that i just have like like silver ones and we actually have like overflow ornaments on them, oh so y'all decide on like okay what's gonna go on this tree this year and then the overflow just go on the small ones yeah so like we also have like a couple like ocean themed ones, like that's cute i got like a seal and then i have like oh we gave you the merman one right Yeah.

Oh, yeah. I have a construction man merman. Yeah. But I actually don't have him in my Christmas stuff. I have him in my all year. I have him up in my room. Oh, okay. So he's not on the tree. Maybe I should just take him out and put him on the tree since he is merman. No, treat him. Right. Put him in this Christmas space. Yeah. I was going to say the only tree I put up that I don't even know what happened to this tree. I used to have a Charlie Brown tree.

Oh, that's cute. All right. You know, just a little, just one little stem and good to go. I don't know what the fuck happened to it. So no treat us here. It committed suicide. He was like, this is yuck. Is there anything out that's Christmas? Not fairly new that came out like in movies. I mean, like at the theaters. However, I've been watching a lot of, so this is my time to get into like a lot of Christmas movies and shit.

Um, I was just had this conversation. What's your favorite Christmas movie? Top three. Mine that I stated was Elf, Home Alone, and Die Hard. I love you, Alyssa Diehard. You go after I think so. Home Alone 2. Oh, okay. Wait, as in the number two or also? No, Home Alone, the second one. Yeah, the second one. I actually like the second Home Alone better than the first one. Oh, okay. Yeah. Home Alone 2. I like... What's the one with... I'm going to shoot your eye out. a Christmas story.

Yeah, a good Christmas story. And the only reason why I think I ranked that is because... Ralphie? Yeah. Ralphie, crazy ass. Yeah, it was something I grew up watching every year. Yeah. And they always showed it on this cable channel, like 24 hours. Oh, yes, it's back to back. Back to back. And it was just, I don't know, it's just part of my childhood, that one. And then I also liked that hard, but I think I'll probably go with The Grinch. The cartoon. You know what?

That'll be a tie with my third too yeah cause I like Dark Heart I would say that's my favorite Christmas one to piss people off also.

To piggyback off that I'll wait to yours cause I don't want this to be one of yours just in case it is I don't want to touch it so I think, I don't know who's in the number 3 spot I think the number 3 spot either might be like you said The Grinch also but I feel like I can't think of all the Christmas movies that I actually right you would never get them all, damn that was another good one but I also there's one on Netflix called Alien Xmas it's a cartoon.

And it is a little alien and I don't even remember what the fuck the premise of the movie is but it was so cute and it's about an alien and he's I don't know doing shit with Christmas, he's a little santa is it a movie or is it just yeah it's a movie it's like a cartoon movie, Um, and then I also really like, um, what is that fucking movie called? Oh, duh. Charlie Brown Christmas. Oh, okay. I think that's like my favorite Christmas thing. That is a good one.

I know I got to think of like, what other Christmas? I also like a nightmare before Christmas. I count that as it. So that's what I was going to say. A nightmare before Christmas is also a good one. Uh, what other one do I like? I like the stop animation ones they did back in the 60s oh yeah, that's nostalgic I used to watch those whenever we would watch those were all so like. Made me feel like shit for some reason. Like, I don't know why, like they were like melancholy-ish. Yeah.

And like, especially Rudolph the Rendos Ranger, like I took that allegory like way too hard. Oh, yeah. That was way too much like, I was like, bitch, why do I got to watch you getting bullied? And I'm getting bullied at the same time. And like, I already know this is about me. I'm a freak. And everybody who I would like, I'm sitting here watching this movie with people and they're like, I'm like, I know y'all know that I'm fucking this.

You know, I'm Rudolph. You know I'm Rudolph the Freak that nobody wants to be around. Fuck this movie. That's all I felt about it. And then in the end when they're like, oh, we need you now. We need you because we're going to all fucking die if we don't. And so now we accept you, faggot, because we need you. We need you. And it's like, yeah, you need me. Oh, my God. So it didn't make me feel good. Right. Oh, my God. Two on the nose. Two on the nose.

I can imagine if you're rudolph you're like fuck y'all bitches die right go fucking do your own shit from my stupid ass nose this whole fucking time um and then what was the other one uh with the abominable snowman that would kind of make me feel funky the one with the blonde elf right is it the blonde elf or is that rudolph yeah he was also kind of queer yeah right i think all of them are a little queer code remember the guy with the red hair what was his name oh he was kind of like burly bear

oh no that's the axe man yeah who are you talking about there's like a villain in one of those stories where he has like this like fuzzy red hair and he wears like this very like drag outfit let me see if i can find it i'm trying to see i don't remember much of i remember those two but, Gumbo Christmas. Gumby? Gumby. I'm going to say gumbo. She's hungry. You know it. And then what was the Nightmare Before Christmas? And then there's also Jack Frost. Oh, yes. Who was that fire guy?

I don't know. yeah i also didn't like the burger meister i didn't like though i they never made me feel happy see now exact exactly so are you watching any new christmas movies though i want to but i don't know where to start you just start anywhere not anywhere i look put on any streaming yeah you're gonna get something that you ain't never seen before like i this is where i'm like in my Christmas movie era like I think like the right after Thanksgiving so I was like okay I put

everything that I've been watching on pause nothing but like Christmas lovey dovey, stuck at the airport meeting my new boyfriend's parents for the first time motherfucking I'm trying to find some queer ones there's not a lot of them out there, I did find one on Tubi with Jussie Smollett but I haven't watched that one yet because I feel like that may be a little bit too dramatic I need loving Christmas stories That fake fake criming bitch There's one on Netflix that's gay It's

a gay Christmas movie I've probably already seen it Is it old or is it new Oh yeah I've seen it. I like to watch a lot of Christmas cooking shows, like Christmas-themed baking. So sick of them gingerbread houses. I like watching Rosanna Pacino. Do you know who she is? She's this little girl, and she makes shit. Anyways. Have you seen those Grinch fries? No. Or the Grinch meal at McDonald's or whatever the fuck it is?

Yeah, I heard about it and saw it. That was like the weakest promotion I've ever seen in my life. They like give you a bag of salt with dill and you're supposed to shake it in a bag with the fries and that's it. That's like, that's the whole Grinch thing. Dill fries? Yes. The Grinch would be very upset. I'm like, really? Wow, they did him dirty like that? That was pretty lame. You couldn't have made a green hamburger? Well, I think they took all the food coloring away from everything, so.

Oh yeah, Hot Cheetos aren't going to be red no more. I know red, but I don't know about green. Wait, what? Yeah, Hot Cheetos aren't going to be red no more. When is this happening? This month. There'll still probably be red Cheetos on the shelf for now until everything gets sold. But everything starting to get shipped this month is red free. Is it because it's like cancerous or shit? Yeah, they're getting rid of red dye. Was it red number five? Because even if you see like Trulies,

they not even like get... Remember they used to have that faint color of red. They're just straight clear now. you know what's also weird is they found out it's really cancerous is taurine which is like, in all the energy drinks but all the energy drinks are still there with it in it so I don't know what the fuck, but that's crazy don't be drinking taurine people it feeds cancer tumors or something that sounds like it'll kill you I used to drink a lot of it.

But what else oh Love Actually is a Christmas movie that I like with Keira Knightley the cute little one, But it's very straight. Oh. So the one I've seen on Netflix that I want to watch almost brings me back to, like, nostalgia just because it's... What's the Legally Blind Girl? Reese Witherspoon. Reese Witherspoon and Alicia Silverstone. Oh. But it's like a... It's an X-mas. So I think they, like, divorcees or some shit. And it's like a comedy.

So I'm going to check that out. Oh, I'm going to see that. But other than that, yeah, that's that's that's only Christmas period I get into. And then my work event and then in the streets. One of my friends, we're going to do a elf crawl. That's cute. What the fuck is that? So on her. It's just like the elves are off for that night because Santa is working. So they just go drink. So are you going to dress up as an elf? Yep.

I'm going to be an elf supervisor. You're the tallest elf I've ever seen. He said his favorite movie was elf. Right. Yeah, that's my uncle. No, when we're not at the North Pole, we have to be human size just to make sure everybody is comfortable. Oh. It's in the bylaws. Do you have any actual Christmas foods that you eat? I feel like not really.

There's no traditional christmas food that i have other than possibly hot chocolate, but i think that's more like a winter thing i don't even have i haven't had uh like a, hot chocolate in a minute mexican hot chocolate somebody else seen somebody post something like if you get uh a packet of hot cocoa and put fireball in it it tastes like a mexican hot chocolate but i was like what is a mexican hot chocolate anyway i know i've had one it's just chocolate made with the mexican

chocolate you can get at the grocery store it's like the ybara or what's the other one i don't i don't remember ybara but it's like this little hexagon kind of shaped chocolate and it it does spicy or something it does taste a little different okay um it does kind of have like a cinnamon taste but i wouldn't say like too cinnamon but it does have a good flavor oh okay yeah so you like melt it in water and then you add milk and then

we add uh this plant called ruda in it and it adds like a little extra little flavor to it i remember i did like me and my friends went somewhere specifically to get a quote-unquote mexican hot chocolate and like some hipster place and i think it was like cinnamony but it didn't it wasn't giving. Delicious. It was giving more like I'm doing this to do this for Instagram. To get you to buy this. So I'm like, when I was in Diversity. The Midwest, they a lot of,

Puerto Ricans used to make coquito. Coquito. Coquito. Yes, it was. It's fire. It's nice and warm. So good. Have you had it? I don't think so. So it's like a, yeah, it's a Puerto Rican thing. And it's like coconut milk and condensed milk. And they put rum in it. Oh, no, I definitely not had that. Yeah, it's so good. It's sweet. You can't taste the liquor. It's dangerous. Put your ears, boy.

Yeah. I made that a few times with my friend and making it is so much fun because by the time you're done you're toasty, because you have to sip it and try it and so you're just like the experiment so it's a lot of fun and it's really delicious now I feel like getting a bottle of rum chata I mean that's the weak version of it just add some tequila to that yeah I'm pretty weak though.

Yeah I used to I used to like eggnog well I still like eggnog I just don't buy it as much as I used to cause it's just like heavy I never got into that it's just like raw eggs and milk or cream or some shit I mean I think so, it's in the name but I've never really seen nobody make it homemade, I'm quite sure this motherfucker's making it homemade what's it taste like, um like egg no no um i would describe that as more cinnamon it's nutmeg nutmeg

nutmeg it's like a nutmeg creamer yeah think of like a thick whole milk okay but a little thicker than whole milk, Like a melted milkshake. You drink it cold? Yes. Yeah. Like a hot milkshake, but with that same texture. Yeah. You know how you go in and out and your milkshake melts and it gets a little frothy type of thing? Like that consistency. But warm. Yeah. And with nutmeg. Well, you don't have to drink it warm. No, it's cold. You serve it cold.

Yeah, yeah. You just add the whiskey to it. Oh, okay. That's what makes it hot. That's what makes you hot. Oh, they add whiskey to it. Yeah. Yeah. So you can add whiskey to it. Yeah. I thought people were just drinking it straight up. I drink it straight up. Some people do. I mean, kids do because they can't. They can't hang. Right. Not legally, no.

Oh, another one I used to like was this dessert my aunt used to make. Like it was like cornflakes, but she would coat the cornflakes in peanut butter and butterscotch. And then like put it in the fridge to harden. That's so good. That kind of sounds good. Yeah, it's really good. I've never heard of this creation. Does that have a name? No. Dang. That's just, that's the ingredients. You can make it. One of my homeboys back in Cleveland used to make like.

Puppy chow. No, something similar like that, but it's just like spicy, maple spicy pecans. Ooh. Interesting. Oh, my God. I'm like, dude, this shit like just. Like with just like maple syrup drizzles on them? He never wanted to. He never shared this recipe. He'll just make it for the office. But he's like, I was like, damn, this shit is good. That sounds good. My fiance just texted me a picture of the new tree skirt we got, which is. Tree skirt? for the Christmas tree. She's got to be decent.

And it's got a little black dog on it, which is our dog. It's a dog. I was trying to see what it is. Oh, that's cute. I'm like, oh, it's our thing. It looks just like your dog. All right. I have a couple, I have a Christmas pillow that is like, has a black dog on it that's supposed to be my dog. And it has like a candy cane. Oh, so that almost matches. Mm-hmm. Nice. I like getting like things with like. So y'all get your dog Christmas gifts, huh?

Oh, yeah. I just got her a gift today. But I'm not going to give it. I'm going to give it to her now. I got doggy stares for her. Oh. So she can get on the bed. She's a woman of that age. She's getting old, so I got to prepare her joints now. That's smart. I don't want her damaging them, jumping up. Because the bed is actually pretty high. And she has to do a little, like, jump. Like a jump. Just got to put her back into it.

I'm trying to see what other Christmas stuff. I'm going to try to make it to the Naples Lights this week. Oh, yeah. I like that. To check out that. We should go. Have a good time. It's cute. I always want to. Do they have like a boat ride or something? Yeah. I don't know. The paddle board. Or is it just people with their own personal? No, you can rent them. There's one with the water bikes. It'd be so dark, though, in the water.

That don't feel safe. Well, I think with everything lit up, it's pretty good. No, because sometimes I'll be like, God damn, you can't see. Because most of the lights are on the outside of the docks. So it's not really lit in the water. Now, some people do be out there with their boats. And some people do have their boats lit up. But I'm like, just be safe. It's fucking packed out there, though. I know. That's why I usually do it during the week versus the weekend.

Because parking is crazy. Walking is crazy. Two motherfuckers. Yeah. Because we used to try to drive out to Naples to go look at the lights. And I'm like, oh, my God, girl. Yeah. This is not worth a little light show. This fucking insane traffic. It's like, it stops being cute. Oh, yeah. See, that's why you want to try to get there before, like, see, that's why I want to go this week versus next week or the week of Christmas.

Because the closer it gets, the crazier it gets. Everyone gets in the mood. Because once some kids get out of school for Christmas break, game over. Yeah. There's a tram that runs down to Belmont Shore from, like, downtown LA. What? Yeah, there's like a shuttle. The fuck? Nah, we don't need all that now. But if you don't want to deal with the parking, there's options. Stay in LA. Y'all go to Beverly Hills and see their life. Do they be coming down to Long Beach like that?

Yeah. You think so? Yeah. Long Beach is what? They can't get you to say to you, though. In the universe. Yeah, see, yeah, the LB circuit runs from downtown LA to Alamitos Bay. Damn. Yeah. So can I get a ride up there? No. You can get a free tram. So you can, like, park in downtown LA, take a slow show. Oh, downtown Long Beach. Oh, yeah, downtown Long Beach, I mean. Child, I'm about to say. Did I say LA? I was like, what? I'm going to say shit.

That's what's up. Yes, that's perfect. I use that a lot during the weekend. Because it's actually perfect. Another thing I use. Oh, sorry. Go ahead. No. And yes. I already know what you're going to answer. I'll say another thing I like to do during the holidays, or used to at least.

Was um all these like botanical gardens have light shows and they're pretty cool not shows but like light displays the la zoo has a really fun like lights at night thing i don't know if they're still doing it but they had a they have a lights at night thing at the la zoo which is right cool but i don't think they do it around christmas they do it just off of no they had a christmas one, that me and my fiancé went to.

And then I feel like Disconsole Gardens all these places, they all have little light displays at night. Disconsole Gardens one was cool. That's cute. Artistic Christmas lights in the garden at night freezing your ass off. Any other Christmas thoughts? You know what? I don't have any more Christmas thoughts. Did your non-binary Santa get you everything you wanted? Never received the list. You naughty or nice? Naughty. Neutral. Neutral. I want a neutralist.

Didn't help no one. Didn't help no one. I guess I want nothing. Any more Christmas thoughts on your guys, Ian? I don't think so. I think I'm all Christmas-ed out. It ain't even here yet. Bah humbug.

No, I'm not Christmas doubt yet. I'm excited to be cold. I don't know. I mean, global warming, child. It's 80 degrees today. I know. It's so hot. I know. I was looking up for like rain and I was like, oh, there's no rain coming. Right. It's going to be warm. I think it's rain that might come like right after Christmas. I don't mind. I don't mind. What rain? Or the heat? Both. Yeah.

You don't mind nothing he's neutral yeah i'm neutral well from all of us here at the neutral christmas hotel you're cheery enough you're jolly enough and you're, what's the other one not getting shit you ain't getting shit not this year no one's getting shit this year. Not from Santa Claus. The elves are on strike. Now you're drinking the bars. Okay. That's what it won't be. Well, you'll be seeing Christoph in an elf suit at the bars.

Well, from all of us here at the Christmas headquarters, you're... Well, we already said that. Good night. Good night. Merry Christmas and happy whatever. Leave out the cookies. Happy Kwanzaa. Feliz Navidad. Hey y'all christoph here thank you so much for all the love and support don't forget to hit us with a five-star review a like a heart or a comment all that good stuff really helps the podcast grow from all of us here at queer rbc we appreciate you, Bye.