Ethical Non-Monogamy

Hey y'all, this podcast contains potentially disturbing content.

Our show includes graphic references to topics such as sexual abuse, self-harm, violence, eating disorders, explicit language, and sexual acts. Listener discretion is advised. This show is for mature audiences only. Good morning and welcome back to another episode of the Queer LBC Podcast. I'm your host, Nino. My pronouns are he, him. Thank you for asking. I have with me here my fabulous cohorts. Yo, it's me, Christophe, your city top liaison. My pronouns are he, him, and dad, motherfucker.

Dr. Mikey here, your local, licensed, and practicing therapist for entertainment purposes only. My pronouns are he, she, all of them. So what's the T, sis? The T is... Today in Gay. Department of Homeland Security has removed language and internal documents that prohibited the surveillance of individuals or groups based solely on their sexual orientation or gender identity.

Today in Lesbian. Cis woman confronted by police officers in Arizona Walmart restroom for looking too masculine. Today in Trans. Democrats defeat Republican transgender sports band Bill in U.S. Senate. Today in homophobia, the U.S. federal websites scrub vaccine data and LGBTQ plus references. Today in transphobia, Trump administration admits to judge it doesn't know how many troops are trans or why it's banning them.

Also in transphobia, a South Dakota bathroom bill could force trans inmates into solitary confinement. Today in YAS, Illinois schools will teach LGBTQ plus history despite federal pushback. And also, we discuss economic blackout, ongoing protests, NYC dream movie. We also discuss economic blackout, ongoing protests, trade war, stock market crash, and Canada tells the U.S. to suck its dick. Do any of you queens know about any of these things? That whole Zelensky shit

was, like, too much for me. That was ridiculous. Can y'all school me on what that is? Trump spoke with Ukrainian president. Oh, that shit. Yeah. Man, what in the entire fuck? That made us look very fucking stupid. Oh, my God. You talking about his fucking dress? Dude, you talking about how he dressed, and you got this motherfucker...

Dressed up in a fucking t-shirt and a blouse because they don't even like a suit jacket it was all big and i was like that's not people don't care about what the fuck this ain't the 70s i don't know why that even pissed me off more than like them demanding rare earth minerals like him telling him about his suit not wearing a suit i was like what the fuck yeah who the fuck are you and why the fuck are you saying this shit yeah fucking ridiculous person

but it started as soon he got out the car so you knew i heard you knew it was on the bullshit so i seen the clip where he was like oh okay oh welcome ah you're dressed up today it's like what like catty as fuck exactly and also he wasn't even really that dressed up he just had like a colored uncolored dress shirt and some black pants i know i was like you can't handle also like who the fuck cares what a prime minister of some other country is wearing like that's

what they're fucking wearing right like if they're wearing some other shit like their cultural outfit are you gonna say something too now he could have said like i would i could have came in here like your wife did when she played pause for playboy like that okay so let's stick to the fucking topic that was that was marjorie taylor green's boyfriend who said the the suit comments the what oh really that literally literally fucking literally nobody fucking buddy right who the fuck

are you why the fuck are you here this dumb bitch's boyfriend right are you so he wasn't even fucking no reporter. No oh my god just a white trash piece of shit comedy on suits how many on suits. I don't know why that pissed me off so bad but i did like i did like his response he was like oh maybe next time i will maybe it'll be more expensive than yours. Right yeah he said maybe it'll be better than what you got on yeah, Because this shit looked like he worked out a...

Old school funeral home or something don't you fucking tell paddington bear goddamn shit.

But it just like boggles my mind that they went down this route of like you're being on grateful and you show appreciation like it was so weird that was so gross pure narcissism on display you know you need to be grateful for being here the american people are mad that you're not even wearing a suit like what the fuck no we're not let me oh you know what's so weird is like recently we have like a lot of ukraine listeners and i want to tell you people directly in ukraine

we do not give a fuck that he was not wearing a suit what the fuck that was horrible and stupid as fuck it was ridiculous what a shame what a fucking shame oh oh yeah that was that was ridiculous every single day i'm looking up the tesla stock and i'm like just like watching it fall and i'm happy and i'm sad when it goes up like by like two dollars i just heard that canada is putting a hundred percent tariff on everything that's tesla okay because they

want to put pressure on the white house or a candidate actually a candidate that is running for the prime minister position wants to do that to do a hundred percent tariff on on tesla did you see how they're like oh we're just gonna cut off your power yeah oh yeah when he was like i'll do with a smile on your face i was like you know what boy i mean you gotta do what you gotta do.

And it's like dude you see trudeau talking when he was like donald blah blah blah blah telling him directly no you didn't see trudeau talking oh my god trudeau was talking directly to i guess the american public and donald trump and basically was like you're fucking us up and you're fucking yourself up and you know what we're fucking this is it we're definitely seeing everyone like protesting america right now like mexico canada yeah it's pretty interesting keep us in our prayers.

This is only three months and then the stock market crashed literally yesterday today's we're recording this on march 5th yesterday the stock market crashed 600 points which was interesting so i don't like i know what that means but i don't know what that means like it just means like i don't know what it means because obviously nothing's happened yet but i guess it just shows i mean i don't know where these where it's crashing from i mean

it's it's crashing from all these big corporations because amazon is down target is down oh good tesla is down all those meta is down so we're overthrowing capitalism is what you're saying i'm totally down for this and so i'm like watching this i'm literally like watching this tesla suck every day now and i'm just like yay just suffocate it let more come out so obviously that's impacted by the economic blackout right i'm assuming

so because the way that the the way that the news is reporting it they're just like they're just saying shit like consumer faith in the markets are down and it's like. Yeah it is but like the whole it's like we're fucking literally protesting on purpose it's not we're not just faithless and like oh i should save money maybe it's like no bitch we're taking the money out yeah we don't want to we're shopping local shop local i haven't shopped in target.

Since they did the whole way with the dei me either i haven't even walked in there yeah i had like a craving to go in to see like if there's foot traffic but i was like i don't want to give them put traffic either yeah i don't think i shopped with them motherfuckers since last year when they tried to fall back on pride oh yeah like you know what kudos to you motherfuckers yeah i was definitely already over them but yeah it's interesting watching us turn into

a third world country overnight good yeah did you hear about this kidding we're always one right for real about the department of homeland security oh my god and what they did no i know so it is reported by bloomberg that the dhs updated their policy manual to remove gender identity and sexual orientation from a list of protected classes that prohibited surveillance based solely on being in one particular group these changes were made in the wake of trump signing

orders that stated that DEI was discriminatory and that there are only two genders. What does this mean for you queers? Well, it means in theory that DHS can spy on you just for being gay and collect data on just for being gay. It's giving lavender scare. I feel like... Are we being recorded? Are we being watched?

Probably. I mean, we're LGBTQ plus propaganda. straight up so I mean like why wouldn't they just happen to just keep tabs have some files on us already just make sure that our searches aren't illegal, that our conversations in our in our inboxes are on the up and up, could be you they could be stalking us I know they pretty much is, But for them to say, like, two genders, that's just, like, I'm like, where y'all go to school at? Where did y'all go to? Where did y'all go? To America school.

Because it makes no fucking sense. Oh, yeah, yeah. But that's. Yeah. So I think people should look for, like, apps that protect themselves. Like, Signal, I think is a good one, I heard. Getting some VPNs so they can't, like, track you would be some good options.

I remember somewhere it was just like I saw something it was just like shut up just shut up just like stop talking to anybody on your phone basically don't say anything about anything about anything yeah anybody ever see that makes sense because they're just like watching it mm-hmm yeah but like like I said earlier like it's giving lavender scare which happened around like the y'all hear about the lavender scare know what it is

no so it's like in the 50s when McCarthyism was around and they're looking for communists, they're also going after queer people and putting out their business, outing people, trying to get them out of their jobs for being queer in the government.

So I feel like this is kind of setting up for another one of these situations. I wonder how... I don't know if they're going to follow... I think they're just trying to scare the American people so much that they're just like throwing all this... Fucking shit our way and we just don't even know which way to fucking turn our head. And I know they don't even have, one, they ain't gonna have the manpower to do shit because they firing everybody.

Secondly, it's just feel like they're just trying to distract us from the real bullshit that they're doing in the White House. Right, that's another thing is like they're having all these like, like, ideas that they're doing all these things against criminals, but it's like, you fired everybody in the FBI. Right. Who's gonna do it? Who's gonna do it? I know I can't be the cops, because those motherfuckers can't even tie their shoes through. Oh my god.

You know what I'm saying? So, like, what do you go, how is this gonna fall out? And how's this gonna play out? If everything turns back into, like, I feel like it's gonna turn back into, like, the 1980s, like, the bad parts of the 1980s, where, like, everything's super boring and straight, and it's just, like, a really, like, unfun world. Well, I think it was probably more just underground. It was because the queers was living, but it wasn't in the up front.

Spotlight. Right, exactly. Ugh, it's just, I hate to think at it. I hate to think that we will go back like that, but you're right. It might, but I'll... It's almost like, what are you trying to do to us? Like, what are you really trying to accomplish besides destroying, like, number one, like, a low-income class? Mm-hmm. And then turning the middle class into the new poor. And then turning the upper middle class basically into the middle class.

And then the upper class becomes, I guess, stays where they are. Yeah. Just like killing more people. It's like, are you trying to just kill all the humans? Right. I mean, that's what capitalism is. It's not sustainable. Right. And then they don't think of that part. But it's like, I guess they have enough money until the end of their lives, right? Yeah. So it's like they're just fine destroying everything else Just doing living their best lives, I just don't understand what,

Trump is getting from Putin that he is like his little fuck boy. That dick. I see something on Instagram where somebody was like, oh, they are fucking. Because there's no way that they are that much into each other. Something they say. I was like, that's kind of funny. I was like, ugh. Imagine? Hmm. I cannot. And I won't.

So, according to The Advocate, an article by Christopher Wiggins, a black 19-year-old cisgender lesbian from Phoenix is demanding accountability after she was confronted by two male sheriff deputies in Tucson Walmart women's restroom last week.

So arizona resident kayla describes herself as a stud masculine presenting woman says the deputies were called by a store employee who allegedly assumed she was a transgender woman so she basically detailed this humiliating distressing encounter she said that she had entered the restroom with her ex-girlfriend who handed her a tampon when two male deputies stormed in shining flashlights into the stall and demanding she exit. Oh my God.

Right. Morden still used the toilet, was stunned while still using the toilet. She was stunned. There were flashing lights on her feet saying like, hey, you got to get out of here. You have to come out. We need to talk to you. Morden said, I'm telling them like, I'm still using the restroom. I'm sitting down. I'm peeing. Like, what's the issue? When she finally entered the stall, she said she lifted her shirt to prove she

was not a man, expecting the ordeal to end. Right? So instead, One of the deputies continued to question her appearance, insisting that you look like a man. Morton stated recording later posted a nine second clip to TikTok. And she was just like, hey, they came in here in the girl's restroom because I'm a girl and they don't think I was a girl. So they tried to come take me away.

Only man that is in this restroom is you two motherfuckers. And so she didn't file a suit against Walmart or the police department yet from when this issued happened. The sheriff's department, they indicated that the department has not gotten a complaint, but the authorities are aware of the social media video. Walmart is still trying to figure out from this employee, like, what was the reasoning for them to call?

I'm wondering that this person called the police and then the police drove all the way from the station to the Walmart in the time that she was in the bathroom. Exactly. So she also said that she noticed that this employee kept looking at her like, you know, scouting her and just like she was she didn't think nothing of it. So I don't know if the person thought that she was going to be shoplifting or

whatever, but that's not the fucking case. She said, I've noticed this employee looking at me while we was throughout Walmart. And then all of a sudden, so she must have pre-called and said some shit. And then probably when they got there, because they're still doing the investigation. Nobody really said... Walmart hasn't replied in regards of why this employee did that. What was the reasoning for the call? Either she's racist or transphobic, and both are neither good looks.

The reality of the situation. She was being racist and was profiling her and then used the excuse of the bathroom bullshit. Yeah. Because, like, is that even a law in Arizona? No. So Arizona don't even have a law dictating who can use which restroom. Okay. So yet the incident come amid growing, you know, Trump is putting all this shit in people's heads. So there's even no law. So I don't even know. So that's where the problem come in.

Why was the police called? Because if there's no law for anybody to use a restroom, a particular gender to use their particular restroom, then why the fuck did y'all come out? This is why this makes no sense, this whole bathroom shit, because it's like. Well, obviously it doesn't make any sense. Right. I have the fucking genitals that I need to have. And then for this motherfucker to flash your ass and then you still get fucking questions. Right, right. Like what you wrote. Right.

You should have threw your tampon, your tampon, whatever the fuck, at that motherfucker. So let's just pretend that this lesbian person was transitioning to be male. Let's just pretend, right? That she's a trans man. If she actually went into the women's bathroom, she's still going into the fucking correct bathroom according to you fucking transphobes. So it doesn't make any fucking sense no matter how you slice it. Exactly.

It don't motherfucking matter. So you want this lesbian to go into the men's restroom now? Unless this stupid-ass employee at Walmart don't even know how. Well, of course they don't know how because maybe they assumed that this was a man transitioning to a woman. Which would make no sense because.

So what worry about the motherfucker who's at the self-checkout fucking ringing up a fucking television for a limit so it's literally just it's not even about your gender anymore it's about that you are transgender and you're in a bathroom like it doesn't matter if you're even complying to your genitals, that you require to be in that bathroom like this lesbian well I think it's even and this is why people were so outspoken against these restroom bans because

they're written so broadly where it's not even about being trans. It's about your gender expression now. So if your gender expression is not something anyone likes and does not fall within the category of what they think a man and woman should be, then this shit is going to happen more and more often, right? And like... And then it's going to get so extreme where people are going to feel the need to expose themselves to prove who they are.

Or there's going to be mandatory body searches to confirm this bullshit. Like, that is, like, how bad it can get. And then these, even if they did have the fucking genital inspection, they'd still be fucking confused. They'd be like, well, why do you have a vagina? They're so fucking stupid when it comes to this shit. Yeah. Oh, my God. Yeah. So, yeah, now you're policing fucking masculine lesbians. Mm-hmm. Told y'all. It's going to affect everybody else. Yeah. But I hope she makes a complaint.

I hope she sues. Yeah, hopefully she gets... I think she stated in the article that she's going to get a lawyer, and she's going to go and file suit against the sheriff's department and Walmart. I mean, you have to, like, flash your tits. Like, that you have to feel so, like, degraded that you have to do that. Mm-hmm. Like, it doesn't even matter if she didn't give a fuck that she had to do that because she, like, had balls and was like, you're a bitch.

The fact that you have to be at this, like, animalistic level. Right. Because anybody could, like, I still know straight women who's masculine presenting. Like, it don't, like, what the fuck? But one thing that also stood out in that article, she was like, she usually, she gets this all the time. So it don't really bother her, right? So she said, if someone mistakes me for a guy, I usually just correct them or let it go. But this was different. This wasn't just someone calling me sir.

This was law enforcement trying to remove me from a bathroom where I had every right to be. I'm afraid now. It's already enough being black and facing discrimination. Now I have to worry about being harassed just for needing to pee.

So I was like, damn, I can't get a fucking break. Like, why am I even going to ever go into the bathroom ever again? Right. That's what she said. She was like, I feel I haven't used a public restroom since that incident. Remember, y'all, these men are not your friends. At all. Now, that was fucking stupid. But hopefully. I mean, yeah, you could sue Walmart, right? Because your employee is the one who did that to you, like falsely calling the cops on you for no reason. Yeah.

And then also, could you sue the police department then? Yeah, right? Yeah. Because they're harassing you and you fucking doing these genital searches or whatever. Because even if, even if you assume that this individual, her name was Kayla Morton, but if you called the police and said, oh, I think. There's a man using the female's restroom. You should already have either a male or a female because you could be 50% wrong or 50% right.

So why the fuck you send two motherfucking dudes to go into a women's bathroom? First of all, you shouldn't even be in there. Because usually women police officers have to pat down the female unless they give consent that is OK for the male officer to do so.

Yeah if you're gonna actually be forming performing genital inspections you should probably well right but figure out who's not about who's performing them i'm just saying you gotta i mean gotta get some but kayla i hope you go for the next yeah but in in the same vein south dakota is passing a bathroom bill as well so nico lang wrote in them that south dakota bathroom bail could force trans inmates into solitary confinement.

So House Bill 1259 would decree that all restrooms, locker rooms, and changing areas in state-ran facilities be limited to members of the same biological sex but allows for a reasonable accommodation. Concerns were raised by State Representative Erin Haley how this law would apply to state prisons and jails.

Bill sponsor brendy scroff from brower however you say that name responded to concerns by saying there's a room that i hope nobody would have to go into but it's called solitary confinement the bill is awaiting signature for the state government i'm like is this they just don't have another room like is that the only room available for the trans people well because no there's no public restrooms in. Non-public restrooms the private restrooms? yes, private restrooms so it's like one big trough?

Yeah, so the reasonable accommodation is solitary confinement now wait I feel like I'd prefer that I mean but so you mean to tell me there's no ADA individuals that's in prison? Right so you mean to tell me that the only people that's in jail is two-handed, two-legged motherfuckers? Yeah, I mean... To have to just be put into solitary confinement. It's wild. Yeah, so this is all I was going to bring back to the bathroom thing too.

What do they do if it's an intersex person? They don't believe in intersex. So when you do this general inspection to put them in the proper prison or bathroom when you do discover a magical intersex person, Because, I mean, I would assume that those people are also using a bathroom that you probably aren't going to assume they're going to use. Right. You're going to probably come across that. And what are you going to do now besides freak the fuck out, I guess?

Yeah. And have a conniption? And be like, I don't know. And then your brain breaks because there's only two genders. Right. I was told there was only two. But, despite all the transphobia, Democrats defeat Republican Transgender Sports Ban Bill in U.S. Senate. Democrats in the U.S. Senate on Monday evening blocked a Republican-led attempt to enshrine discrimination against transgender athletes in federal law. The lawmakers rejected the Protection of Women and Girls in Sports Act.

The bill, part of a more considerable conservative effort to roll back LGBTQ plus rights, failed to garner enough votes needed to advance. Shocker. For real. Senators voted to confirm President Donald Trump's pick for Education Secretary, professional wrestling magnate Linda McMahon. The upper chamber considered moving forward with the anti-trans legislation. The bill was stopped by a cloture vote. I've never heard that word.

Which is a procedural motion that requires 60 votes to end debate and move forward. The vote was 51 to 45. The legislation introduced in the House of Representatives by Florida GOP Representative Greg Stubbe, Stubbe, something, and passed by Republicans earlier this year with support of two Democrats, sought to rewrite Title IX protections by defining sex and athletics solely based on reproductive biology and genetics at birth.

If enacted, the bill would have effectively barred transgender women and girls from participating in federally funded school and college sports.

But not against trans men just the trans women trans women the bill also called for federal studies on the impact of transgender inclusion in women's sports and potential adverse psychological and developmental effects on cisgender athletes your already brain is already broken bitch does not have anything to do with there is no evidence that transgender athletes are a danger to cisgender peers while it did mandate

physical examinations to determine an athlete sex critics warned that its enforcement could lead to intrusive scrutiny of all female athletes just like this lesbian at Walmart. Mm-hmm. Sigh. They should do a study on how cisgender people affect transgender people. It's called gender dysphoria. Thank you. Human Rights Campaign President Kelly Robinson applauded the Senate's rejection of the bill, emphasizing the damaging impact of such policies.

Every child should have the opportunity to experience the simple joys of being young and making memories with their friends. But bills like these send the message that transgender kids don't deserve the same opportunities to thrive as their peers simply because of who they are.

And they are impossible to enforce without putting all kids at risk of invasive questions or physical examinations just because someone doesn't look or dress like everyone else, Robinson said in a statement to the advocate. Amnesty International's USA Directors of Gender, Sexuality, and Identity Programs, Carla Gonzalez-Garcia, also praised the senators who blocked the bill in a statement to the advocate.

Thank you to the lawmakers who voted against a bill that promotes discrimination and stigma, bars transgender youth from forts, and spreads disinformation about what it means to be transgender. Your votes ensured that this bill, an attack on human rights, failed to pass the day, she said.

Fantastic. But then I saw some random shit on Instagram that was like, these three, these fucking states are still doing it so i'm like what doing what the like doing like bands on sports well the this one was for the uh the federal recognition of a band so now it's just state level oh great states get it to choose right, You should just have kids playing sports regardless.

If you go to an elementary school, do you think that you see them separating the girls and the boys to play fucking dodgeball or motherfucking... Monkey boots? Clam the fucking rope and all that other bullshit? No. Like, it doesn't fucking matter because you can still get a female to whoop a dude's ass in any kind of sport. So it don't even fucking matter. why don't we just all make every single sport co-ed period? Right. We all, right. NFL. Everything should be co-ed.

No, no more women's basketball. It's all gender inclusive basketball. No more NFL with men only. There's chicks there too now. Why not? The only, it's like the only real fucking reason they do that is so they can go into the locker room and take a shower. Right. Take out, take the locker rooms out. Everybody go home and fucking take a shower.

Why do you need to be in the locker room right take a shower at home bitch that's what i do the fuck anyways like what the fuck but i feel like the these bands are obviously emphasizing really terrible science because i feel whenever they talk about this it's always a focus on, testosterone and it's like oh testosterone is the reason for this athleticism and it's like no it's not cis like there's so much that goes into that and and

a lot of their hormones are responsible for people's development. And testosterone isn't the only thing that builds strength and gives athletic advantages. And it's like, there's lots of men who have low T. Right. Does that mean they're not actual men? Are they just ladies? Or cis women who have higher levels of T. Yeah. It's a variation. It is a spectrum. Come on, y'all. What else we got?

So speaking of that band, that's just why you need to, Vote and like get the people that you want in these offices and cabinets and things of that nature. So. In Illinois. So this is an article by Exos Chicago. Illinois schools will teach LGBTQ plus history despite federal pushback. So despite the Trump administration persisting attacks on transgender people, Illinois public schools are not changing their curriculum that includes transgender history.

Studies have shown that create more exclusive environment for lgbtq plus students through history lessons professional development for teachers and gender and sexual alliance groups for lgbtq students is very important right so they are not taking the curriculum they're not changing it at all they're going to keep it and they're going to basically this will allow the teachers and some of the student-led groups feel more comfortable going to teachers and staff because everybody's

going to be trained on how to interact with this type of curriculum. I love it. So the study of this role and contributions of the lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender people in American history, the Chicago public schools, and I think it's just Chicago public schools. I was going to keep it because Illinois is a big ass state. So Sullivan is what I think his name was Thomas Sullivan. He's the. Where did it go?

Yes, the superintendent. Tony Sanders has promised that Trump's executive orders will not affect transgender inclusion in the state's curriculum. So the whole state, I guess he ain't he ain't backing down. So the whole state is going to keep the curriculum.

And although that study shows that when students have that, there's less suicide rate for transgender and LGBTQ students, and they're more able to freely speak with their teachers about other issues because now the teachers are informed and don't feel uncomfortable talking to students about these issues because everybody's on the same curriculum and everybody has been trained. So kudos to you, Tony Sanders, Illinois superintendent. Ah, well, that's good. Go Chicago.

What else we get? We have Trump versus trans service members. Oh. So Christopher Wiggins wrote in The Advocate that the Trump administration admits to judge it doesn't know how many troops are trans or why it's banning them. The article states the administration justification for the ban has been riddled with unsubstantiated claims, with officials arguing that trans people pose a threat to unit cohesion, honesty, and integrity, while failing to back up these assertions with data or evidence.

Court documents show that the government uses a 2006 RAND study to estimate the number of trans service members. In fact, they do not track service members by gender identity. They also admitted that gender-affirming care is only a fraction of the DOD budget.

Lambda Legal CEO Kevin Jennings stated, this is proof that the trans military ban is a solution in search of a problem if trans people's presence was somehow disruptive to the military there would have been data to prove it and they do not this proves that this order is motivated by animus rather than reason animus i've been hearing that word a lot lately animus yeah so animus is is making like passing laws or making rulings,

decisions based off a feeling of hate or anger towards someone or something. So literally, yeah. The legal word for being a fucking bitch. So it's like, I'm going to not let you be in the military because I don't like you. Not because you pose an actual issue with... Pure animus. Pure animus. I still don't comprehend it, but that's just me.

Well, but I think it's great to see that these things are getting blocked in the lawsuits and updated so like this is a great update and and win for trans people because it's like there's no evidence they have no reason to do this so it's very likely if we get a judge that isn't a bot or part of the trump scheme or not even trump scheme let's not give them that credit republican scheme oligarchy scheme, that this can not go through and

they'll we'll be able to have trans people who want to be service members yeah it is weird like i wasn't expecting that the what is it the trans sports one i wasn't i wasn't imagining that that was not going to not pass or whatever get get banned get banned so maybe yeah i mean but that sucks like the entire time that you're just thinking like it is over and then it's like well it's not again like you're just yanking us up and down Yeah,

because he's trying to distract us and shit From his fucking what? Fucking idiot. U.S. federal websites scrub vaccine data and LGBTQ plus references from the BBC, Kayla Epstein. The Trump administration, hopefully no relation. Right. I will say that's another fucked up last night. Epstein. Anyways. The Trump administration has scrubbed references to LGBTQ plus LGBT health and information on certain vaccines from federal websites, including top public health agencies.

The move follows a Wednesday memo instructing agencies to end all programs that use taxpayer money to promote gender ideology and disable related information from websites by Friday afternoon. Trump has already issued executive orders that ban diversity, equity, and inclusion in the government, as well as one that recognized two sexes, male and female.

Asked by reporters on Friday if websites would be shut down to remove diversity-related content, he said, If they want to scrub the websites, that's okay with me. Okay. Because it wasn't your order. They're just going to, okay, it's okay with me. Saturday, leading public health agencies appear to have culled webpages that discussed gender, sexually transmitted diseases, and LGBTQ plus health. Several webpages for the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, CDC, now display error messages.

The agency's website contains a yellow banner that reads, CDC's website is being modified to comply with President Trump's executive orders. Bitch, just take it down. Dang. I don't even say anything. The CDC webpages that previously contained such data on youth, transgender, and LGBTQ plus health contained page not found messages on Saturday morning. The CDC serves as a critical repository for official government health data and research.

The National Youth Risk Behavior Survey seems to have disappeared from its landing pages. The ongoing study focused on topics such as nutrition, mental health, physical activity, and sexual activity for high school students. The tool used to explore the data is now offline. A version of the page captured by the internet archive The Wayback Machine shows the page was live as recently as mid-January.

The archived pages show that one aspect of study included children who felt that they were ever treated badly or unfairly because people think they are lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, or questioning. Another page dedicated to supporting LGBTQ plus youth was also not available on Saturday morning, though the page was archived by the Wayback Machine. A page that collated data related to health disparities among LGBTQ plus youth also appears to be gone.

Uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh. Wow. They're getting rid of everything. Right? They're really trying to erase us. Good luck. A page for recommended vaccines was temporarily unavailable but returned Saturday without mention of M-Pox vaccine. The Washington Post reported. The M-Pox vaccine is recommended for, among other individuals, gay and bisexual men, as well as people who identify as transgender or non-binary, according to New York State Department of Health.

CDC page with recommendations for M-Pox vaccine displayed an error message on Saturday. The Department of Health and Human Services, the umbrella agency that oversees the Centers for Disease Control and other U.S. Public health agencies, also took down pages relating to diversity and inclusion. A key page from the agency's Office of Civil Rights no longer appears to contain any information.

The website for the office remains, but a reader who wishes to click on the Civil Rights page of the site will see nothing but an error message. All changes to the HHS website and HHS division websites are in accordance with President Trump's January 20 executive orders, HHS spokesman Andrew Nixon said in a statement. The executive orders are also causing upheaval at the United States Agency for International Development, USAID.

The entire USAID website did not appear to work late Saturday afternoon. The agency is responsible for dispersing billions of dollars to USAID annually around the world. Well, wait, for the website not to work, but you got the smartest man in the motherfucking America in the whole office? I'm confused. You got the smartest motherfucking interns that you had at fucking Tesla and all your other fucking companies, but websites is going down?

Okay. On Wednesday, the Office of Personal Management sent a memo to agencies directing them to comply with an executive order dedicated to defending women from gender ideology, extremism, and restoring biological truth to the federal government defending women. It instructed they should take down all outward-facing media, websites, social media accounts, etc. That inculate. Inculate?

Inculate. They instructed that they should take down all outward-facing media, websites, social media accounts, etc. That promote gender ideology. The memo also instructed staff to review agency emails such as Outlook and turn off features that prompt users for their pronouns. Earlier this week, a supplementary grant from National Institutes of Health that helped research institutions to hire staff from diverse backgrounds abruptly expired 24th, January 2025, long before it was set to close.

CDC did not respond to BBC's request for comment. Wah, wah, wah. Well, so y'all just trying to make AIDS happen again, too, or what?

Well to be honest i don't think like how many people go on the cdc to get information i was thinking that too um but that doesn't make what they did right you know like i want to i use cdc extensively when i did my dissertation like i like i got so much data from them the information from them on their websites but like i don't think a lot of people like the american people yeah like most people are going to go to like their medical doctors or get information from like,

see but then some of some of these doctors don't really know much like if you so because for instance, when i changed my primary he didn't really know much about prep so he has this like you know what i'd rather so like some of these doctors don't really know yeah shit about gay people either right no it's true so they may go to cdc that's like okay let me just see what this is about like oh what the fuck they don't exist right what is this inbox you're talking

about yeah right The CDC doesn't have it. Yeah, so definitely concerning, you know, definitely. To be honest, I didn't think, like, eliminating DEI would have, like, go, like, this deep, you know? Like, in my head, I just, like, thought of work, you know, in the DEI programs. Right, you didn't think, right. I didn't think it would be, like, this seeping into, you know? Scrubbing us. Mm-hmm. Ugh. Yeah, that is a trickle effect. Like, scrubbing the tea off of the Stonewall fucking shit.

Like, girl, bye. What the fuck are you talking about? Yeah.

Welcome to the LGB community. Bitch, if it's like that, why are we even adding the B? I'm just kidding. Just kidding. Bisexual. You're loved. Is that all for these fucking quick tees? Oh, but no, wait. Remember, I used to tell you guys about Eves Mathis back in the day. Well, no, Leslie, like, he's a social media... Trans and gay advocate. Do y'all remember? No. So basically. What was their, what was their main hits?

What you mean? Oh, like on. What am I going to remember them besides their name? Cause I don't remember names. Oh yeah. Unfortunately, when trans women get murdered in the fucking streets. Oh, it's a murdered person. No. So they. Girl, wait in the sin. Calm down. Since you remember, I'm trying to remember. So, Eves Mathis is a model in every sense of the word. Even his designer namesake is saintly.

He's an Afro-Asian-American, independent musician, freestyle dancer, male model, was born in Brooklyn, but raised by his adoptive family in Florida. Growing up, Eves always knew that he was gay and he hated himself for it. As a teen, he was bullied and used drugs to fit in. But by the time he turned 17, he got sober and he stayed clean ever since through the grace of God. After attending college for dramatic writing, Eves began to pursue a career in modeling.

It was during the 2018 Women's March in New York that he really stood out with a sign that said trans women, too. The world was introduced to Eves, the activist. In addition to volunteering at homeless shelters, LGBTQ plus runways, centers and senior citizen homes, he also foster rescue pit bulls. So his Instagram is at the underscore eavesdropper and that's Eves with a Y-V-E-S. So I've always watched him on social media because of his advocacy for trans rights and the LGBTQ plus community.

But I didn't know he was an actor. So I was going through Tubi. And I've seen that he was in a movie called NYC Dream. Oh, now I know exactly what you're talking about. Right. So, you don't have to lead up to it. So the NYC Dream movie was a Tubi movie. Well, it's probably an independent movie because he's an independent dancer, model, advocate, I mean, activist and all that other good stuff.

But i checked it out and it was actually like a good movie in the sense of the message that it was sending okay what was the message so the message was you know shit. Don't sell yourself short right go for what you know and even though your childhood and your you have obstacles that you had to overcome, it's best that you continue to just go for it. So in this movie, he, you know, his father kicked him out when he was young because he was gay.

And then it was a shocker later in the movie that, like, his father is in a relationship with a trans woman. Gasp. So, right. I was gassed. Because, like, it's a very artsy film. It's not like your typical dialogue and this, that, and the other. You really have to sit there and pay attention and just, like, try to piece this together.

It makes you think. but that threw me for I was like wait what I had to rewind it I was like wait, what's going on but it was actually a good film but to know that he is an actor as well as an activist for trans and queer rights and for pitbulls because he is a pitbull rescuer his pitbulls are pretty cute too but yeah it was a good film but I hope to give him his props, but you didn't see it though, right? I couldn't get Tubi to download it was downloading my damn TV come on, Wi-Fi.

I will next time I will attempt to watch it because I was also looking for it under the wrong name because I was looking for it under NYC Dreamer not NYC, was it Dreams? Yeah, NYC Dreamer I saw it, I liked it it was very artsy and I felt like Like a lot of the story was told to like visuals. Visual, yeah. And like you did have to pay attention because whenever there was like a trauma flashback, you could tell by the style. The style changed a little, got a little like shimmerier. Yeah.

Yeah. So I appreciate it. But let me ask you this. Do you remember? So now one thing that I was confused about in the movie is was the other dancer his ex or his future partner? Because at the end, they met up outside of the theater or something. And I was like, but wait, was y'all dancing collectively and you just... Because they was never dancing together. They was dancing side by side or far away. So I was like, were they just two dancers that was just like...

Using New York as their background and their muse, I didn't get that part, but I guess they are lovers because at the end, they walked away with each other. So yeah, that was... Yeah, I don't know. You're right, I didn't piece that together. But it was a good film, but it was a very artistic film.

And like every gay film, the gay tragedy story. you know well nobody died but it's always like your trauma well right oh yeah the trauma was there I'm like how you gonna give your son so like and that's another thing I was like so the trauma couldn't be that your son was gay the trauma had to be like you were not being true within yourself so you saw yourself within your son which made you, not want to have a relationship with him,

but then it also was weird because the his wife or his girlfriend. Said to him was like your father like he would drag me to these ballet shows and it wasn't for me because i could care less but like he we would go and he would just be so in tune to it because when he was younger his father would tell him quit dancing like that or like you know i'm saying because he was self-taught repressed gay exactly yeah but then after he was estranged from his father.

I mean, from his son, he would go to ballet shows and shit. Oh, because he was looking for him. Right. Laughing my ass off, not a man liking ballet being the tell. He liked ballet. And we all know what that means. Right, it was modern day. He was doing modern day. He was doing modern day. But yeah, I liked it. But also, I want everybody to check out his Instagram because he keeps you informed and he's very fascist times yeah.

Well one last thing before the break a lovely listener asked, That they've been living here for four years, not really into bars, but looking for night, late night spots. Do you guys know any late night spots? No, because I don't go anywhere. Late night spots with no alcohol, not a bar? Yeah, non-alcoholic, LGBTQ plus themed. Is the library still open? So the library on Broadway is still open. I don't know their hours.

So I'm not sure if that's late night. I don't understand what late night is because I'm a little bit older. So late night is 8 o'clock for me. So I'm like, after 8, the street lights come on. At least that I know of, there's not any place that's open late that is just a non-alcoholic place or a non-drug place or event. Right. But you can still go to some of these places. I mean, I'm not sure where you are in regards of not wanting to be around alcohol or drugs.

But there are a lot of venues and a lot of gay bars that do like trivia night and i know unfortunately i mean they sell tea and coffee as well but you know yeah trivia night and things of that nature bingo yeah oh that's true i love bingo maybe maybe checking out the lgbt centers because sometimes i know especially the la one they have night events where they do like movie screenings or special programming.

I know that's not in Long Beach, but maybe the Long Beach LGBT Center does something, so I'll check in with them too. Oh yeah, LGBT Center does do random gay events. Yeah. They have workshops too. So I know when I first moved here, I would go to the Long Beach LGBT Center and do a man's focus group and just talk among, black queer men about, you know, just the struggles that we go through as black queer and gay individuals.

So I'm quite sure the LGBT Center should have some of those type of resources and events that you may be suitable for. Or they also mentioned low-key queer spots. If there's any that you know that's just low-key, not even... I said they're not really into bars. I don't know. I don't go out. The most low-key thing that I can think of, I mean, not even low-key. Well, you were just telling me about Dr. Mikey Vogue class. Oh, yeah. Long Beach did a free Vogue class over there on the promenade,

and I did that. That was a lot of fun. And they said they're going to do free voguing classes starting in April here in Long Beach. So check out House of Albie, which is the house that Instructor belongs to. Her name is Destiny. She's part of House of Ninja. Destiny. Mm-hmm. Also, there is sports. So there's. I really don't want to drop the name, but you can Google Long Beach Sports. Why did you want to drop the name? I mean, because I mean, no, I need that moolah, moolah money. Oh, I see.

No, but seriously, I'm a part of it. But so I will say that if you go to outloudsports.com, you will most definitely find a community where you can stay active, as well as it's not always driven around alcohol and partying, even though sometimes after parties and things of that nature happens. But you can most definitely find a community in regards of you staying active as well as being around LGBTQ plus community members.

So I will most definitely check that out as well. And maybe you build up a community in the daytime and then, you know, you can host like game nights, you know, once you build a community and do things that don't revolve around a bar.

Alright so is that it for a quick tease? that was quite a not quick one but, I think that's it for these queens I think they deserve to break see you later. Music.

Hey y'all Christoph here and we just wanted to say thank you for all the love and support but don't forget to go ahead and give us a 5 star review a like, a heart, a comment you know they all help the podcast a lot from all of us here at the Queer Up You see, we greatly appreciate you. Now back to the show.

And we're back. So today I wanted to talk about open relationships or ethical non-monogamy. Music. In an open relationship ever? No. No? Only been in one relationship, so. Was it discussed? Monogamous? It was, yeah. Mono.

Monogamous. I wouldn't, I'm open to being in an open relationship because I just don't feel like that's, now I can love one person and I can be with one person, but I also know that, you know, individuals may want to venture out and who always want to eat the same dessert you know i'm saying so i mean your taste buds evolved so like.

So i'm open to it but i have not personally been in an open relationship i wouldn't mind being in an open relationship because one if it seemed like it's more accessible but i also know that it has to come with a lot of work and understanding, trust, and honesty. Well, trust and honesty is the same thing, isn't it? No, because trust is... Yeah. Right. You need honesty to get trust. Exactly. And if you're honest, you might not necessarily keep someone's trust in your... Hey,

come on. Knowledge and toxic people. So when you were in your monogamous relationship, did you ever discuss, like, Oh, would you reopen to be open? Now, granted, yes, in a, in a way. Cause we'll go to the bar and shit and I'll be like, Oh, like, Hey, like he checking you out or like, or like I was like trying to get this individual out of their shell. So maybe I was like trying to push them onto other people, but just to be like more outgoing, but it wasn't even, that wasn't even successful.

So that or the relationship. So next, I don't even want to talk about that, but yeah.

Are you, have you and your partner been in a, no. Open relationship before y'all got engaged? No, I have not been in an open relationship. I have asked him if he wants to be in one, and he has not wanted to. And did he say why? No. Oh, you just said no. Yeah, I was like, do you want to open up our relationship? First of all, that's not even the way. Yeah, I guess, because I would feel like you would need to come with a reasoning,

on why this needs to happen. Well, the reasoning was that I wanted to have sex with as many people as I could. So, yeah. I'm just a slut. I'm just a horny guy. Yeah, so I would shut that down, too. So, the reasoning is I'm just horny and I want to fuck, like, as many people as I want to fuck. He wants multiple desserts. I want multiple desserts at the buffet. But gluttony is a sin, so, you know. Well, you were going to hell already.

And I was like, I basically was like, do you want to just open up the relationship? And he was just like, no. Because even before we were together, when we were like barely talking. I had invited him to an orgy. Oh, yeah, I remember you telling me. And he was like, no, you can go do that. So he was never really, like, into the idea of, like, I guess being with more than one person himself. Like, he'd rather be monogamous. Okay.

And, like, I am like, I guess. Like, it also doesn't bother me because I can do whatever. Well, I've never been in a non-monogamous relationship because I've been in relationship with people who are very, like, basically traditional.

And even if like i had a boyfriend in the past like who i believed might have like gone around on me like they i feel like they are also still like saying like they don't want to open it up either so they even though they were cheating on you yeah okay so or maybe i just maybe they never were cheating on me and i was just paranoid and thinking that but like i had was i had been led to believe that i did get cheated on by this person so but i had also asked them if they wanted an

open relationship and they were like no see but you have to also realize that jealousy is a thing because that person could have most definitely been cheating on you but they do not want to see you with anybody so that could have been true so don't second guess yourself, that's true i mean yeah because then my other my other ex was like always like accusing me of cheating on him. And then I had found out or not. It was like, I'm not sure, but I think that he might've been cheating on me.

And so I'm like, I don't know, but I did get hit on at the bar with this couple before. And you know, me, I'm happy. Go going. I'm going to go with the flow until the flow ain't flowing. Right. So we leave the bar, go to their place. And, you know, I think we have a shot at shit. So, One, the taller boyfriend went into the living room. And so then I'm just, you know, I don't know what, I didn't really think that this was going to happen.

I just thought we was going for like, after I was in just chill, oblivious, oblivious. Right. So the other, the shorter boyfriend, like it's like a studio. So like I could still see the living room from the bedroom or from the bed.

And so they're like we was just like sitting on the bed and some shit and he was like, pull it out I was like what pull what out like I'm at this point like I, cause none of this conversation was leading there was no conversation leading into what was gonna happen when we got to the house I just thought we was going back to chill you know I love a good afters, you know what I'm saying and if it leads to something then I'm cool with that too but we gotta at least you know shit

smoke a joint let's have a drink or something like damn and so then he was like and i was like what i was like damn can we talk first like damn i don't even think i know y'all name he's like wait you can get out i said well adios y'all have a good one then and i just fucking left so i'm open to it but you got to be kind with the shit yeah and like they didn't even ask your consent like they had this idea of what it was

gonna be and they didn't even conclude you like right exactly i'm like i didn't even know this was going down yeah that's so funny your boyfriend in there playing a video game like i'm we just walked in the door like what about you doctor i'm actually in a open relationship now.

Pearls how has that been it's been fun i mean it's been a journey it always hasn't been like rainbows and sunshine right like i think when you open up a relationship you have to face a lot of parts of yourself especially kind of like the darker parts so i think it's definitely been a journey to get to where i am today and then for us to get to where we are today. Now, how did that come about? Like, who ideal was it? Or was it something that was, like, mutual?

Yeah, well, it came up because we were chatting about, like, fantasies, right? I love a good fantasy. Right? And we're talking about, like, oh, like, what haven't you done that maybe you want to explore in, like, our sexual relationship, right?

And for me like i always wanted to try like a threesome and i was like and i i pushed it like this i was like well you know like one thing that i always want to try but like i'm not sure if it's like possible now you know since i'm in a relationship is like to have like a threesome because like in my mind like a threesome was like with three single people back in that day you know yeah like you don't think you're gonna have a threesome with like your

partner right because were indoctrinized with monogamy. So I just said that. And then my partner was like, oh, okay. He was like, well, I need to think about this because I'm not sure how I feel about it. We kind of sat with it and then we chatted about it for a little while. And then it started by us bringing in a third person for sex and having threesomes. Oh, okay. But then y'all also told that individual. Like y'all didn't spring

it up on that motherfucker. Yeah, no, no, no, no, no. Come over for pizza. Yeah, go repeat that. And it's just like, hey, right in a box, right? No, it's not that. No, no. It was like, we went on Grindr. We shared both our pictures, said what we wanted to do. Like, it was very intentional. And everyone was included and consented to the practices. Good. Yeah. So that's how we kind of started. And at that time, it was like,

we only played together, right? So if you want to ask someone else, it had to include the other person. And I think that's where it had to kind of start to evolve from there, because over the course of time, we found that.

That that wasn't always possible because it's like finding a unicorn right like finding someone who's put into both of you at the same time who want to do what you want to do and that's just like look wise and think about like position wise and like sexual acts and stuff like that like like that's a thing with like non-monogamy relationships this idea of like people searching for the unicorn especially because even when you're not looking for something extra like

a threesome it's already as hard as it is like everyone's so fucking flighty as it is right like i know this motherfucker gonna show up any guy yeah yeah yeah yeah so yeah that's how it started and then over the course of time i was like exploring that and i think that's where like the the not rainbow sun shines came through was like that growth process of trying because even though we were practicing non-monogamy right like the idea of like us having sexual

acts was like a complete rip from the non-monogamy and i think and i'll admit it like i think i i struggled the most with with that process and i think that's where that's why i brought the idea of like you have to be ready to face some of the things that you haven't addressed because as we're opening up and and evolving into not just playing together that's when my own stuff came up like fears of abandonment, fears of rejection, like my child trauma really started to pop up and it was.

It was then providing me work to do personally because I think, yes, some of that work had to be done within the relationship. But I think a lot of that had to do and that addressing those things was like my own personal work. I had to to work through. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, because I remember when I was when I would like do threesomes because I did a lot of like group sex, I guess it's called.

And even though i was not even attached to any of these people i've when there was alcohol involved i'm pretty sure i would get randomly really jealous like i don't i'm not even with these people yeah i remember there was this one guy who i wasn't even like into like that but then i guess i don't know if it was alcohol or what but it was like i was like getting mad at him and i was like oh you're more into him than me or some shit and i was like what the fuck and

then like after the fact after you know i get sober up i'm like oh my god gross why did i act like that like i noticed that i was really prone to getting jealous yeah do you consider yourself to be the jealous type i don't consider myself to be but i guess i was like in my mind i think that i would be like really cool because i'm obviously the one okay like i mean i would be pretty cool like i think because i'm the one who's like asking my partner like oh let's.

Do an open relationship like thinking like i would be fine with it right but then i feel like if like it was to actually play out i would probably end up having a lot of issues yeah i'm getting like really jealous yeah like freaking out yeah but like i think that's a normal reaction because we're like i said indoctrinated with monogamy right so i think that comes with it when we're trying to on on learn that i had to face a lot of my jealousy in the process right in my job my jealousy i felt

was like a lot more intense because of what I've gone through in my life. And it's a normal part of the process. And it's a normal feeling. Even when you quote-unquote undo the idea that you're monogamous or dedoctrinate yourself from monogamy, that's still a feeling that you're probably going to have, right? And what changes is how you navigate it and what you do with that feeling and how you respond and react from it. Mm-hmm.

Yeah yeah because it now in my part of my open relationship like we've definitely been open more than than closed like i think we were two years just monogamous maybe not even the full two years and then we've been this is gonna be the 11th year that we've been together oh okay.

So let's say your partner goes off alone to be like bye i'm gonna go fuck some rando you do you still you're like don't feel anything like negative like you ever get like little spikes of like or like it's all like by this time you're it's all gravy i think that that depends on like my capacity i would definitely say that has shifted and changed i think now i am like a lot more likely to be like oh cool just do your thing but to say that i'm 100 at that time like

no um the day yeah it depends on the day it depends on my capacity where i am with like my feelings and what's happening in my head you know because those things weather down you know your your ability to like think differently or feel differently you know so but more often than not that i'm really kind of like just just do your thing you know so then i'm trying to think of some questions yeah but it wasn't always like that you know like i definitely had like behaviors

in which like made it difficult for my practice my partner to practice their their non-monogamy they wanted to okay and so sometimes that that led to kind of like arguments or disagreements you know.

Conversations you know and that's figuring out like what this look what this looks like and i think those conversations allowed us to kind of inch towards to where we are now but that also allowed you guys to have like those honest and honest conversations that would have not taken in place if this wasn't on the table.

Oh, yeah, of course. Right? Of course. So I feel like it's very important to say that if you feel like this is something that, you are interested in with your partner, that you have that hard conversation with an open mind and a loving heart to just discuss and see, one, why.

Secondly, if this is doable for both of us, and if it is, that we give each other that, space and opportunity to find how that works for both of us yeah yeah no of course of course yeah and this requires a lot of communication and vulnerability too right if you're not willing to do that then like this isn't something for you to do yeah that's also true like you gotta be you have to communicate and you have to be like you have to open up you have the vulnerability is gonna have to play out

oh yeah yeah definitely yeah i haven't been in it But I know those two things for sure. You know what I'm saying? Because I love to communicate anyway. I'd rather you be more informed than misinformed. You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, yeah. But yes, you need to be vulnerable in order for that to make it happen. Yeah. But I think the reality is I think more people are practicing non-monogamy than people recognize, right?

You think of non-monogamy as not having the same partner and only having sex with his partner. All the queers who are practicing hookup culture are non-monogamous, right? For the time being. For the time being, right? you know blisbee realizing posts most of them are still after they get with someone you know so.

But so like i said a lot more people practice it than than people like to admit that's true and i think that the queer community has brought it more to the up front because now i hear a lot of straights well i hear a lot of straights talking about non-monogamy relationships and Well, ethical, I don't want to say, I love the word non, but ethical non-monogamy more because I feel like the gay culture.

Now, granted, I know a lot of straights used to do this in the past, but they used to be behind their partner's backs, their wife's backs. Like they had different families across the quarter, the country line and shit. You know what I'm saying? Now people are having these conversations. And I think it's because of the queers that we're able to have these successful and loving relationships and still be able to not be prone to monogamy that is being it's coming to the forefront.

I think a lot of more non-queer couples are practicing this and talking about it up front more because of the queer culture. Yeah. Actually, my first exposure to open relationships was through the straight community. Like, hate to admit it, but like swingers, I knew swingers were since I was. But they still do their shit. Well, they're usually underground still, but... Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, it's like, swingers parties are underground, right? You're not just gonna invite everyone in, you know?

But I think that that was definitely my first exposure, and it came... Like, my connection to it was, like, that's what straight people do. They swing, you know? How was that experience?

I mean i didn't participate but but i knew of swinging when i was when i was younger and knew of that right but it wasn't until like i stepped into like my own queerness and had a relationship and explored like an open relationship because like swingers is it's kind of you do this at particular time you know like go to these parties and it's where we do it but i feel like the i have now is like hey like if the opportunity pops up you know like i'll take it or if you're busy i you know i'm

gonna do what i'm gonna do you know i've always been because i don't know any swingers straight people swingers so i'm like are you guys engaging in full-on like group sex orgies where the men are where the heterosexual men are watching the heterosexual men naked fucking i feel or are they just swapping partners and privately fucking the partners probably depends right there's probably like separate or together or like in a big room

i think it probably just depends on on the party but like to me that feels a little bit more in the vein of like cucking you know because it just feels like it matters to me. It does oh i'm like because i always like question like when guys when straight guys are like having like a group sex with a woman and i'm like so you see the penis what do you think about it like i I want to know. Straight porn is all focused on the details, too. I'm like, you're still hard.

There's a naked man right here. It must not be that bad, huh? Just touch it. That's why I always get sussed out. Right, because you can't let the human body just explore. I can't. Label it. Label it. What are you doing? What are you heterosexuals doing? Would you ever so because even without open, but what about would you feel like I will be in a throuple like have a primary second individual in the relationship? I guess I would be down to the idea. Yeah, because I've been seeing a lot of

means of like, you know, with the way the economy, everything is so expensive. It's time to get a third. No, you know, it's so funny. Actually, I forgot that what had happened.

So we actually did have like a not that we didn't have anything but so basically the idea of us having like a threesome with another guy had come up at like a friend's wedding because this random guy had like basically was drunk and we i thought he was we both think he was straight but then i guess he was like so drunk that he had like basically came on to me and i'm not even like I'm not even his friend.

My fiance is his friend. But he hit on me. And he was basically saying that he wanted to have a threesome with me and my man. And so I was like, okay. You got to tell him, though. He's the gatekeeper. I'm not the one convincing. But I told him. And my fiance thought he was just joking. Because he thinks that this person is a straight person. Go ahead. And so he was like, he's just joking. And I was like, no. Because I don't know him like that. for a straight person to be making a joke

like that. Because I would have been like, come on, both of y'all come here. We're leaving now. We're about to figure this shit out right now. But the next day, because nothing happened, but the next day, I actually pressed him on it and I was like, if that was real though, would you be down? And he was like, yeah. Oh. So maybe he is actually more open to it than I think. Right. He's got to find a drunk night. He's got to find the unicorn. He's got to find the unicorn.

Yeah. Catch him slipping. Catch him slipping. But as far as bringing another actual partner, permanent partner, like a thruple, it's funny because I always remember seeing those gays where there's a random thruple, and I'm always like... Looking at the third partner and being like, feeling bad for the third partner. Not the two that are in the relationship who brought the third. And I'm looking at the third person being like, what's going on with you?

And are you being fulfilled third? Is it just the two couple that is now being super fulfilled by you? Or is it like you're actually in love with them both also equally? I always look at it that way because I am a judgey bitch.

I don't know how else to put it what do you think do you think there's like a third who's always like I am committed just as much as all are all three all, committed to all I would love to think so I believe that they're all committed to each other yeah I think if you should enter a throuple then there should be like a like a egalitarian-ness to it, cause it's like what's the difference are you like equality.

Because I'm just like thinking like if you're already in a thruple where the third person is like in your romantic relationship yeah does that even like mean anything about your sexual relationship anymore like are you it's like everyone's included at all times what would be the point of even closing it off at three well, well I would imagine I would imagine that like, even if you're in a thruple like people still need to consent to have sexual

acts right and i think in the throuple like everyone should hopefully be fine with like everyone just doing their own thing as long as like no one's going without you know like as long as needs and are being met that's my idea brother brother husbands brother husbands that sounds hot.

But i think full of men but i i think that if you're in a throuple and you find that you're not equally into like, both people or are not into like one and you're just doing it to kind of keep on to the one person you're attracted to then you shouldn't be in a throuple right you should explore like solo poly or like explore a relationship with that person on their own and not involve the other person you know that makes sense because at least from like all the the

throuple like people i've heard about or known like i've always felt like the third person has always been like kind of thrown around at the convenience of the actual original couple. I remember there was this one that I knew, this one throuple that I knew, and it was like, you know, the original couple, it was like a drag queen and some gay guy, and then they had a random third person, but it was always like, they were just kicking him around like the dog. What? It's so sad. Well, well, the...

When we talk about throuples we're also talking about like poly right like and poly is under the non-monogamy umbrella and there's different structures that you can have within your poly relationships and what you're talking about is really a little bit more to like a hierarchical structure in poly relationships which means that like i have a primary partner and have a secondary partner and you're not going to treat them differently like we're going to say we are but

we're probably not you know i mean that this primary partner is going to have like certain like privileges over this third right and that's where like couple privilege becomes like really prominent in poly relationships you know couple privilege yeah couple privilege is a real thing even outside of like poly relationships i would probably think i would think that because you feel like you're the primary couple so like you're the two power i want to say like this yeah so.

That other individual matter in the relationship itself. But they know that they have to take a backseat when major issues arise. You know what I'm saying? That's what I would think would happen. You can't be the third and come here and try to wreck shot. Because it kind of feels like sometimes the king, the queen, and the concubine. Right. Where it's like, bitch, you better sit down because you don't know your place in society. See, but when you say that, back then, the Comerbine wasn't in...

A poly... They wasn't communicating with both parties, just with the young. So now, in this sense, it's the king, queen, and the joker. The top, the bottom, and the... In the verse. In the verse. In the verse. And while, like, that type of structure is non-monogamous, like, I just... That doesn't feel very ethical to me.

You know and like there's another structure with impali which is relationship anarchy and it's the idea of completely kind of like reframing what relationships are so it eliminates the hierarchical aspect of relationships so like there's no primary or secondary partner you just have partners and like a free fall like hippies not free for all but like let's say like an example like. You may plans with one partner, another partner comes in and,

and maybe it's a partner you dated first, right. Comes in and be like, Hey, like, let's do this thing together. And it was like, Oh, I can't like, I'm doing this other thing with my other partner. If that primary partner comes, I'm going to do primary partner. Cause just from reference, that original partner, primary partner comes in and be like, no, like, no, I need you to come with me. Like you're always spending too much time with that or, or whatever.

Like, and you pull ranks like that is not, that's hierarchical.

That's not, ethical it's not ethical you're not like not everyone's needs is being met and that's the part of the relationship anarchy is that like everyone is equally and everyone's needs are being heard and met you know and and there's no pulling ranks in in these situations i feel you have to be really detached from people what do you mean like to be like i don't know i guess everybody is just like people i'm not i'm i'm so unattached to you i don't

know i guess the jealousy thing is probably what is like keeps coming back up for me yeah i mean i think that's the hardest part for people to do and there's this great resource that i love they're like on instagram or tiktok it's called decolonizing dot love decolonizing love essentially and what they talk about as like hierarchical polyamory is really a form of colonialism this this idea of possessiveness because jealousy comes from this idea of like i possess you you are mine and

if we look at the messages we get around love it's that it's very possessive as you you're mine what are the little hearts on the valentine's day say like legit like and we're giving kids these candies and they're reading them you know so it's the idea of like this possessiveness creates this jealousy and if we can deconstruct the idea of like I don't own this person this person is themselves and they have their own needs and wants and.

And it and I can't like fulfill all of them and that's okay and that other people can and that's okay like that is. What like this anarchy relationship really emphasizes damn, be my valentine all of you be mine be my possession. It's true yeah and then the idea is very colonial right like they come over here and and it's theirs it's possessed you know kidnap your wife in a sack mm-hmm kidnap multiple wives mm-hmm, Is Mormon polyamory okay? That's polygamy. Yeah, what is it?

But it falls under polyamory. Okay, so what is like polygamy specifically different? It's just like one man gets to choose all the women? Well, that's how Mormon polygamy works. But polygamy in general is just one person having multiple marriages. That's not polyamory, yeah. Yeah, I mean, it is. It's polyamory, right? Because they're having a relationship with multiple people. but it's not it's how how is everyone's needs being met? Is everyone feeling need?

Is it always like is that ethical? Is everybody like happy with that?

Yeah. I mean you can say that about every relationship too. You know not just non-monogual relationship but like how ethical our relationships in general. That's right. That is true. Tell the truth the same devil. Gotta get your husband to sign your credit cards or what is it?

Damn hmm how do you separate emotional and physical connections or do they overlap, well i think anyone's gonna answer this one like i for me i don't think i have to be like emotionally connected to have sex it like for me like sex is like i just need to get off right i need to like i need to feel this pleasure or like i need you know i just want to do this because it's fun you know whatever it is like and i feel i don't need like emotional connection

to like achieve that with someone but there are people who i have had like sexual encounters with and like we've developed like an emotional connection okay after the the d after yeah after because you know we chatted or we like we met up multiple times or like we chatted in between meeting up like we became like friends benefits and stuff like that and i will say the sex is better when there is emotional connection, but, like, you know. It's not necessarily needed.

Yeah. Because I feel like the way my brain is wired to get off subject is that I feel like I need to have an emotional connection before I do have, a sexual relationship with a person. And that's fine. That's what demisexual is. I mean, but I still go to the bathhouse, but... You're like, how are you? You've never boned anyone you hated? No. Have you? My exes. Oh, okay. But you hated them after the bed. But, I mean, you can be mad at someone and

still end up having sex with them. That makeup sex? And that's, like, definitely a disconnection between your emotional... It's not a disconnection. You're just not thinking about it at the point. But, I mean, you can disconnect it. So, I mean, I am the same way where, like, I'm not, like, I don't need to have, like, an emotional connection with someone to get off. I don't need to know your name sometimes. I don't need to know your name.

You don't even need to say a damn thing. Right? You just need my address. We just need to release some tension. I prefer when the masseuse doesn't say anything also. Oh. Because he consented. But I did ask this question to a friend of mine about the intimacy, I mean, like the sexual and emotional aspect of it. And their reply was like, I'm going to read it verbatim for you guys. I don't know if it's actually possible to separate them, at least for them.

I need to like someone as a person if I'm going to be physical intimately with them. But my partner and I share details about the experience with other people, especially if it's a new or newer person that one of us is seeing. It can be a big turn on to hear what your partner did with someone else. Sometimes it leads to me wanting to do the same sexual act with my partner that my partner just did with someone else. I don't know what to call that phenomenon.

But I guess the sexual and emotional part of it, that you share with your partner can bring a whole new ray of encounters into your relationship. New experiences. Right. New experiences, new tactics, per se. A little arsenal. Right. You know, something to add to your repertoire. Have you ever, with your partner, experienced something from a third person that added something new to your guys' sex life? Like, this person introduced poppers to our relationship.

Actually, we did get introduced to poppers during, I think it was, it wasn't an orgy or a threesome. Like, before, like, we've had hooked up with people who use poppers, and we're like, nah. Like we wouldn't want to do that and then we're in origin. We're like, oh, like what is this? Like everyone's doing it, you know, and then so that has been added when we first started inviting people in like we use condoms way more consistently and I remember the first time.

We didn't use condoms with someone that we invited in. And it was like, oh my God, are we going to do this? We're doing this. And it was mind-blowing. So I think that kind of allowed in some of that as well. Some risky behavior. Both poppers and unpredictable sex. Just some wholesome things. You're like, just math.

Jesus. but yeah i used to do a lot of group a lot of threesomes it was fun wait so question like obviously i only had threesomes with having like already a person next to me already in like i like and i feel it's hard enough to get like a third person in like how do you manage to find like two other people who were down oh you mean like for the group thing yeah i have no idea because the one time where it's like there was like multiple people i didn't set it up it was like there was one

guy and me and we were talking and then we decided that we would like to get into a group thing together with multiple people and then so it was basically like on our own before the date happened because he he got a hotel room and so we both were essentially just had each other's photos and were soliciting guys on the apps and we're like okay we're both doing like basically on our own before the date came setting up a party basically like hey i'm gonna do a group thing you're down with me and

this guy and then he was like basically doing the Same thing with my picture. And then so I had eventually found one guy. And then me and him were like talking. So you know how when you're single, you're literally juggling multiple guys at the same time. So it was like that. And you're all just kind of like... Okay, hope everybody shows up like they say they will. Now you're just sitting there with your dick in your hand.

So the one guy who I was talking to did show up. And like I had said, this is the one I was talking about where I have invited my fiance. So I had invited him. And he didn't want to come. And then I was like, it was that night had finally come. And I'm like, shit. Like, I really didn't get any guys except for the one.

So like during that night, like, it was like as time is building up to the, i'm supposed to go to the hotel room i'm like still on the apps just like, soliciting guys like when i come to this like hotel blah blah group thing come here this time alcohol will be provided and then so i get to the place and then the guy who's there is there and then we're like doing our own little thing together for like a hot second until like knock knock and then a guest comes in and then a guest

and then like another guest comes in and then also it's kind of like not everybody is always like active you know so i feel like he was also we were i feel like we were also like searching in between like acts at the same time like we're still like we still had our profile open you know because you know how people will always still message you while you're on yeah online so guys will message you kind of like that so it's just like a big.

Open party where just come to this room at this time and we're all fucking and these are the one picture you have and i guess you gotta hope everybody else is to your liking hope you make good choices hope you make good choices tonight i remember my first one that i well i don't think i'd like planned it myself but it just happened naturally like i was out with a friend and we was just out drinking and then this was when i was in cleveland and we were leaving

the bar it was like hey so like we should probably go hit up the bath house let's go hit up flex flex. So flex or flux flex what i say flux no flex flex and so then like we i'm driving in there, boom, boom, boom, pal, we still, you know, chilling and shit so they was like oh like one of my friends is gonna meet us up here i was like oh okay cool same thing me not putting two to two together that i will like i'm like all right cool.

Okay you know i'm gonna get us a room so we could just like put our stuff in here we already brought a bottle in and shit so we could just like chill and just this would be headquarters so i'm walking through the Beth house and you know we all left and so then I came back I was fucking somebody in the room and so then it was like oh we'll come right back and shit I was like all right cool so then finish that do another lap then I come back they're in the room um so at

this point they're just chilling my friend and his friend and so then they start making out and then And I'm just like, do, do, do, do, do. Like, I don't know. Like, I was like. Third wheel? Right. Exactly. And so then they started fucking. And so now I'm like, okay, maybe I should just go ahead and do another lap. But I'm like, I'd rather just watch this shit. And so then my homeboy was like, fucking old dude. And so then he was like, he just like called me over.

And then like, so he just put his arm around me. And so then, like, we just started, like, making out. And so then I started, like, then I went down to go, like, have old dude. So, wait. So have you had a sexual experience with a guy before? Yeah. Oh, okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So this wasn't, like, my first time. That was my first time having, like, a threesome. Like a, yeah, like a group intimacy with more than just one person. So I was like, oh, I kind of like this.

But no it was it was a good experience and the bathhouse has never been the same, that that one clearly hasn't the whole being watched thing is kind of fun because like i remember when i was in i went to mardi gras new orleans and single as fuck and i went to like the gay bars yeah and then me and this guy we had met and then he was because you know in the in the gay bar that they have in new orleans it was like it was like a trough yeah like everyone's pissing the same thing and so whatever

so the guy who i'm with he's like sucking my dick like right there and there's this old ass dude just like watching us and then he just like takes his dick out and starts drinking off to us but i'm like that's fine you can be over there and you can watch and you can enjoy the show just don't come close.

So i like that i like having showing the show doing a show doing a show is that i guess that's still monogamous that's just voyeuristic i mean it's a kink yeah yeah but like i still again it's still not monogamous because you're not not going to see that one person there's another human involved in a sexual kind of way well i think it's more not a monogamous because you're not I'm not going to see the person sucking you off. I remember there was this one time that I went. But he was single.

Yeah, exactly. It was like this like dirty ass hotel. Not even a hotel. It was a motel. And there is this like bottom who was trying to get fisted. And there is he was already there with another guy. But you could tell by the fisting bottoms attitude that he was like not happy with the guy who was already with him. And like he was basically ignoring the other guy and like getting mad at him. Because he didn't know how to fist this guy properly.

And it was an interesting experience where I was moderating this sexual experience and trying to tone down this angry bottom while helping this other guy who was, I guess, not satisfying. Not doing it properly. That's a Sing Out of a Gate documentary. It was so funny. And then the guy messaged me on the app after, and he was like, you were really cool.

Because i told you how to fist yeah you're a teacher oh yeah yeah if you guys had to give any pointers to anyone who might be opening their relationship or their thought process into poly or an open relationship or things of that nature what kind of, input would you give to them go to therapy y'all damn off the jump do some do some reflection like some reflection work yeah do some reflection work do some child work like know your triggers know,

know how to regulate yourself know how to communicate properly like those are all the key features you need to step into open relationship go read the ethical slut great book published in the late 90s, still widely regarded, lays out a very good introduction and foundation to how to undo the monogamy mindset. But there's definitely a lot of other books to read. That Instagram I mentioned, decolonizing.love. Check that out. They have a bunch of books that they suggest on this topic as well.

Mm-hmm, nice. Ethical slut, I want to borrow your copy. Mm-hmm.

What about you well i mean i haven't successfully okay well you know what that's true, but i would say probably try to trust your partner more try to believe them when they say that they still want to be with you even though you're like and that probably goes back to you saying put in that work huh self-reflection go ahead i'm sorry no yeah so like i guess, work on yourself work on your insecurities of like why you're jealous about things,

if you get jealous I mean I don't know what are the problems that they're having I mean there's only two problems either you're having an open relationship and you're jealous or you're not having it and you're mad that you're not having it. So either deal with it that the other partner don't want to open it and realize that if it's not going to happen for you then maybe you need to revisit some things or deal with it and say, okay, well, I guess we're monogamous. And then the end.

But also if you, I don't know, if you're jealous, don't be jealous. That's hard. That's kind of hard to do. Don't be mad. I would say to anyone looking to open their relationship, get comfortable being super vulnerable with your, I guess, your primary partner and make sure you've built a lot of trust with them before diving into that open relationship.

Also, you got to be clear about your expectations and your boundaries with anyone involved and also be open to those expectations and boundaries shifting because people change. Environments change. So like nothing is very direct when it comes to queer love. That's true. Make sure you consent through all the evolution. That's also true. Consent is what? Sexy. Consent is key. Oh, look, consent is a lot of things. But yeah, that's what I would say. Are there any other... Polly thoughts?

Polly thoughts? Or non-monogamous thoughts? Oh, right. The umbrella? Just keep talking about more threesomes that I had. I had a threesome where I came to this guy's house and it was like, probably like 4 a.m. Who knows what they were doing before I got there. You know what they was doing.

But they were in ecstasy oh god and when i walked in the door i guess they were happy and then we all had a very nice time and this guy put like electrical nipple clamps on me it was the first time and i was and it shocked your nipples i guess yeah it like give you like a little shock and i was like actually i don't like this i was like thank you but that's a little too painful and not fun and then we fell because this guy uh he was like on ecstasy i guess and that's

what he told me and then so after i left the little threesome we were like texting like for fucking like five hours and then we were like fell madly in love and we were just like texting texting texting and then because where he lived was in hollywood and there was no parking.

I tried to go meet back with him and there was no parking so i couldn't see him again he was also too lazy to come to my house because i also had no parking available, and we no parking in this city is leading people to lose lives to miss connections. That's facts though i literally what happened our beautiful love was destroyed by the fact that there was no fucking parking. And also that he claimed that he was a top. And I was like, no, you're not.

Anyways, that was another great threesome experience. Awesome. There was also this guy who used to go, I guess he lived around my place and he was always going on his daily morning run. And then he would come over to my apartment and then we would procure another gentleman. And so it was like me and this guy, we had at least like three or four threesomes together. It was nice. He was always sweaty, but I didn't really like that. Because he was on his run. I was like, I really don't like that.

That you're so sweaty and gross. But you did it three more times. But I still did it more. And then, who else? Was there any other good threesome stories? Probably. Probably. Oh, but the one threesome where the guy, like, fucking held me hostage in his house? Oh, my God. I already told you that one in a previous episode. Go find it. Go find it. So many threesomes, so little time. I guess that's it. I can't remember any more.

Well, from all of us here At the, Ethical Non-monogamy headquarters From all of us here at the QLBC I'd like to thank Myself, Nino Dr. Mikey, Kristoff And our sound editor and engineer Chelo Azul And all of you listeners I'd like to thank as well Stay strong, Long Beach, That's all I can say You've never said that before Band down the hatches The storms are brewing Mr. Bruce Wayne How does she say?

There's a storm coming Mr. Wayne What does she say? Do you know what I'm talking about? Catwoman? I don't know what she said She said something That was back in the recession too Anyways, from all of us here at Queer LBC You're good enough, you're smart enough And doggone it, people like you. Good night. Night time. Don't let Trump bite. Trump, Trump.