Hi, Anne Corbin, your Mind Body Spirit Mentor. I'm here with this week's episode of the mind body spirit connection. You are a complex being composed of 3 parts, mind, body, and spirit. Just get those 3 parts working together in harmony Anne upscale your life. I'm here to show you how. Well, hello again. And I'm delighted to tell you that I have another guest this week. And her name is Dawn Risha.
She's a licensed professional counselor, But she's now a restorative love coach, and she helps people to let go of their past heal their heart, find love, and intimacy, whatever they desire, their heart's desire. She's an international empowerment speaker. And she has a podcast as well. So give that a listen. It's called wake up to real love. So, Dawn, thank you so much for being my guest. Thank you so much for inviting me, Anne. It's a pleasure to be here with you. Thank you.
Thank you very much. And we met, actually we've met on a couple or more courses that we've done together, but one of our heroes is Dylan DeNeecher because we are so on his wavelength. We are. We are. Anne someday Dylan will be one of my guests. He's he's all about the mind, body spirit connect. Oh, absolutely. Absolutely. And, Dawn, your specialty is emotions. Right? So I thought we could perhaps start by talking about getting in touch with one's emotions.
Yeah. This is, really interesting because I've found through my own personal journey as well as my work, my professional work, that many of us, probably the majority of us, were not taught to express our emotions. We were taught to keep them quiet. Don't talk about them. Sweep them under the rug. It doesn't matter.
Ignore them Anne they'll go away, but all of the people that I have seen in my private practice as well as, you know, I've talked to clients around the world that all of their issues are related to unexpressed emotions. You are so right. Firstly, in what you say about, we were never encouraged to give way to our emotions. That was just a moment. Anne you certainly didn't bring your emotions into work with you, did you? No. Oh my goodness.
No. And there are, you know, there are certain places where it is more safe to express them. You know, I I don't say just go in and express your emotions all over the world. But there are ways to express them in healthy and constructive ways. And so a big part of my work, both personally and professionally has been to learn how to, first of all, become aware of your emotions Secondly, to become curious about them as opposed to judging them or ignoring them altogether.
And then thirdly is learning how to express them in healthy and constructive ways so that it creates opportunities both for conversations about them and for connection with the people that you're sharing them with. Yes. Yes. Absolutely. I find that that helps us create more intimacy with each other. You know, when we share our emotions, it helps me feel more connected to you when you're sharing something openly with me.
And I I'm gonna My kids my kids are like, mom, why do you talk about all that stuff?
It's embarrassing, but I feel like the more that I share it the more that I normalize it, then I also give other people permission to do the same so that instead of instead of this world full of depression, anxiety, Addiction, trauma, you know, all sorts of trauma walk, you know, people are walking around with all these mass on where as inside, they're really lonely or hurting, or in despair Anne I think that the more that we learn to be open about this human
experience of emotions because they're all they're human. They're part of our human experience. We all cry. You know, we all shed tears. We all feel joy. We all know what it feels like to feel cared for and and be loved or to give love to other people. Anne so they're part of our human experience. So to ignore them is to disconnect from that mind body spirit connection. Like the it's a big part. I mean, I say mind, body, heart, and soul. We're all four of those. Mind, heart, body, and soul.
So our emotions are an integral part of our whole system as a human being. Alright. What I wanted to pick you up on a point that you may just know about your kids, say to your mom, you're so American, but I think the Americans are several years ahead of us in the UK because we're we're learning. We're learning because you're so proper. Well, it's the stiff upper lip, isn't it? Falling away at last, I think, to a large extent, but certainly it was the Americans who showed us the way.
Anne and not I mean, trust me, it's not all Americans either. I mean, I I still think it's a very small percentage of people but you see you've you often see people expressing their emotions in destructive ways, violent ways. You know, like, what's on the new? What's on the new? They break out, don't they? The Yeah. They haven't had a chance to express them in a healthy way. Correct. It's like a volcano erupting. Yes. Exactly.
So what you suppress eventually gets expressed in an lotion like a pressure cooker like a volcano. And that's not healthy for anybody either. Oh, and also it leads to illness I mean, it it's something which we say in the trainings that I do. My body spirit trainings, your issues show up in your tissues. Exactly. So many cancers, and things perhaps less serious than cancer, they start with suppressed emotions. You're right.
Cancer, heart attacks, diabetes, I mean, you know, are you familiar with Luis Hay? Oh, yes. Yes. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You can heal your life. I mean, I she was she's been my bible. Anne of my bibles for the, you know, last 30 plus years. And, you know, there's there's a connection between the thoughts that you tell yourself, the emotions that you feel, and what's expressed in your body because we're all energy, Anne so all of that stuff is stored in at a cellular level.
So the more that you keep in, It's affecting your cells like that. Was it Masimoto that did that study about the water? Water. Yes. Water and memory. Yeah. Water Anne, you know, they put words on the bottles of water. They're the containers of water. Hate Anne. Fear, you know, distrust Anne the and then the molecular composition of the water changed.
Yes. As compared to love, peace, compassion, appreciation, and they're and they then you have these beautiful, crystaline, cellular, you know, molecular cells. Mhmm. And you see the difference, dirty, dark, mucky, and clear pure light. Oh, absolutely. Yes. Because we're just vibrations. Everything is vibration. And there's another experiment that they've done with children growing Anne, where if the plants are just ignored, Mhmm.
Or they could be spoken kindly to and nurtured and looked after, or they could be subjected to vitriol and hate and similar negative vibrations. But Right. There's a normal difference on how these plants grow. Anne, obviously, the ones we've just spoken to kindly will thrive. Right. But even the ones that are ignored, they don't do so well. And of course, the ones that are, half he's spoken to, they die. They wither and die. They've got no chance.
No matter how much water and other nourishment, sunshine, whatever is given to them, they just die. I mean, think of the plants as our children. Our children, how we speak to them, how we how we treat them, how we nurture and nurse them, versus not Anne not even our, you know, not even just our children, but it's people in general. You know, how do you treat the people around you?
Are you treating them with that energy of love and compassion and support and encouragement, or are you treating them you know, like they're stupid. Well, exactly. But the way you treat other people, it reflects back to you, doesn't it? Because if you want a result, if you want a relationship, I'm not talking about a romantic relationship. I'm talking about, Anne kind of relationship. Yep. 2 souls working together, whatever. You get back what you give out, don't you?
Mhmm. Anne like attracts like, mhmm, which that's really fascinating because in my own marriage, my I got divorced 3 years ago after 27 years of marriage, which is ironic because I'm a marriage and family systems therapist. I mean, that's my work. My that's my training was helping people recognize the systems that they came from. You know, how and how that impacts how they show up in relationship today. And so, you know, I had a hard time saying, I help people.
A lot of people do this work, and yet I'm find myself stuck in this situation. And and I said, you know, how did I attract this energy from my partner because he had a lot of anger issues that he never really dealt with. And, you know, some childhood trauma that he experienced that he never really dealt with. And I felt like because he didn't deal with it because he just suppressed and said, I'm fine. I'm fine. But his his actions were not, I'm fine. It was the volcano thing again, wasn't it?
Exactly. Too much. Exactly. Yes. Exactly. I suppose when he was younger Anne maybe, there were other distractions in life. It didn't show up so much. Anne then, of course, 2 people will grow at different rates anyhow, right, Anne compound that along with this volcano effect. Anne, yeah, it's why should you stay in an unhealthy relationship just because it's expected of you. Yeah. I mean, it was really hard because I, I mean, I still love him. He's a he's a good person.
But we were not good together. And I felt like I felt like for my kids, I didn't want them to think that our relationship, even though it's probably normal for a lot of people to fight and argue and have these power struggles, I didn't want that for me. For him or for my children.
And so I said I want to to let my kids know that there are better ways of being in relationship up, you know, that you can create a sense of peace and harmony Anne love and acceptance Anne, you know, like, you feel safe to be at home. And and I don't think that any of my kids that you never knew what you were gonna get when you walked in else? Oh, that's no way to know. No. And so I, you know, I think all my kids now.
They say you're a good person, and he's a good person, but y'all are not good together, and we're all better off Yeah. How it is right now. Great that we have the freedom these days, with society and also with throes of confidence that we can actually separate. Yep. Yeah. Because a lot of people stay Anne a lot of people stay together and just, I don't know, live separate lives, live in separate bedrooms, don't You know, they're not a partner. It's not a partnership.
I really wanted a partnership. Like my parents who've been married almost 60 years. They have a partnership. They drive each other crazy sometimes. They drive each other crazy sometimes, but you know that they always have each other's back, and they always have each other's best interests at heart. That's wonderful.
So, you know, to me, it sometimes it begs the question that in those days, when divorce was a disgrace, I mean, just going back a bit, My parents could quite happily have got divorced. It wouldn't have been a disgrace, but they still people of their generation worked really hard. To make a relationship work. And given that my folks were compatible in the first place, they had a great platform to start from. I think they chose each other carefully. They were they were a team like yours.
But I do think in the past, there was more pressure to stay together. Either for the sake of your reputation. That Right. Was a big disgrace when people divorced at Anne stage, which is wrong. It shouldn't be, but society has moved on from those days. Well, I think because they recognize, you know, when people say, oh, I stay together for the kids.
So you're setting the example of being miserable and accepting, you know, mistreatment or accepting disrespect or, like, what is that teaching the kids that they should accept that as well? Like, I didn't want that for my children. None of them. You're right. Wanted them to say, you know, if you're not treating me in a way that is loving and kind. I mean, my daughter said, mom, I really learned that your partner needs to be kind to you. Oh, yeah.
You would think that that's basic relationship 101 treat others the way you want to be treated. It should be. It should be. So tell me about this new project, women worthy of love. Yeah, it's been something in the making because because of my own struggles. Honestly because of my own struggles. Like, I came from a really solid background. You know, my my dad was in the military. We moved every 3 years.
We only had each other oftentimes, you know, and then we get integrated slowly in the community. Anne then we were it was time to leave again. And so, and because my parents came from 3 alcoholic grandparents, my parents worked really hard at creating a different kind of family unit for us. So we were all about stretching our emotions and helping in constructive ways. We would never be judged or ashamed. You know, I mean, they were pretty strict disciplinarians, but everything was allowed.
Everything was allowed. And so, in my own marriage, I've always been a very strong independent person. And I would have a lot of power struggles. My my former husband was a, like, a big, physically big Anne with a big voice, and he could be very intimidating because he's so big. And so, you know, he had a lot of, like, power physical power. But there was because of all of our issues, I kept asking myself like, what's the matter with me? Why doesn't he treat me better? I know that I deserve more.
I deserve to be treated with respect Anne what's wrong with me? Because something something's gotta be the matter with me if he's not treating me the way that I think that I deserve to be treated. And so far We do Anne. Don't we? We blame ourselves. Always. Women's. We blame ourselves. We do. I and I kept saying, what do I need to do differently to make him treat me better? And I was like, well, he's choosing the way that he treats you. It's a choice. It's always a choice.
You choose to be loving and kind or not. And I'm not saying that you can't have emotional, outbursts, or reactions because that's part of our humanity, but you always take responsibility or you should take responsibility and be accountable to the people you love. You know, with my kids, for instance, there were times when I was like a crazy, you know, crazy woman, and I'd react and not well. Anne but every time I did that, I would always go to them and say, I'm so sorry.
I shouldn't have yelled Corbin shouldn't have said those things. You know, this is something that I know that I need to work on because I do love you, and I want to be loving to you. And I want to make amends Anne please forgive me. And so through my own healing journey, I recognized that there were times in my life where I felt unworthy of being loved in the way that was meaningful to me. And I do this work.
And so I thought, I mean, this was the impetus start my podcast because I thought if I struggled and I'm the relationship expert, there must be 100,000,000 of other people who don't have any of the tools, don't have the education, don't have the resources, don't have the access to the to the experts like I do. And so that's why I wanted to start podcasts wake up to real love where we share stories of struggles and triumphs in love with sex and relationships.
So I wanted to normalize people's emotional and relational experience and to recognize that no matter what heartache or pain or trauma that you have experienced that you are worthy of love. Well, sorry. Get up very, very true We'll put the link to your podcast in the show notes, of course. And, it's a really good podcast. Highly recommended everyone. So Please do give it your time and attention. And so this so this women's circle, basically, when I was in the midst of my marital chaos.
I kept I I mean, I cried hundreds of times in my marriage, you know, to him or by myself. And I say, why is this happening? I don't understand it. I know I'm a good person. I know, you know, I should be treated better. I know I'm loving and kind. I know, you know, I have a good heart, and yet it's not being reflected in my marriage.
And so I thought you know, when I was going through my divorce, I thought I have this wealth of experience of how I figured out how to heal through my own, you know, through my own journey Anne recognize my own worthiness of being loved and lovable and recognizing that whatever gifts and talents I have that I bring to whatever relationship table even if it's not an intimate partnership is value is valuable is valued.
And so I wanted to help other women because I know from all the women that I've talked to, women struggle with this sense of value in their relationship, especially when they're mistreated, especially when they're not receiving the love that they desire, especially when their their partner is completely disconnected from them. And they think What what did I do wrong? What's the matter with me?
And so I wanted to create this circle for women to help them recognize that you are worthy of love, regardless of how you've been treated, regardless of what you've experienced in your past, that right here right now, You are enough, and you are worthy of love. You are the worthy of the love that you desire. Mhmm. But you are right because numerous women who are outwardly very successful Mhmm. Have personal lives, which are actually a complete mess. A mess. Yes. A mess. A mess.
Yeah. You you, you know, you're crying and you're struggling inside Anne you walk outside, you're like, hey. How's it going? I'm fine. Oh, it's, you know, it's great. How are you? Oh, I'm fine. Thanks. Yeah. How many people? Oh, I'm not Anne. I'm not fine at all. Yeah. Anne, you know, I think as we're growing up, we're told to be honest. And yet, we're not Right. To be honest about how we feel. Right? We're told to be honest, but only only when it makes other people feel comfortable.
Yeah. Right. So I have to sit in my own discomfort in order to keep the peace and make you feel more comfortable. Yeah. But it's true. That's the way we were raised. We're women. It's our job to look after other people. Make sure they're okay. Exactly. Make sure everybody else is okay when you are not okay. So I wish you the very best of success with this women worthy of love. I think it's a very great initiative. You think there are a few women who can use this? Oh, there might be a few.
I'm sure you'd Anne on both sides of the pond. So, do you have, a link or anything of that nature where people can get in touch with you Oh, sure. Yeah? Yep. Yeah. I have, I'm mostly on Instagram. I used to be on Facebook a lot, but Anne clubhouse happened. I started speaking because I'm a speaker. I like to talk about these things and share all of this wisdom. Information, opinions, advice. Okay. Council. And so, that connected more to to Instagram.
And so I just started showing up on Instagram more so I can share my Instagram link with you and also on LinkedIn. LinkedIn. Thank you. Oh, yeah. I can share that with you. Alright. We'll put that in as well. Yeah. So we can put that out. And if you have any still doing Clappas? Oh, yeah. Alright. Yeah. Yeah. I have several rooms. I have several rooms that I co facilitate, about conscious relationships, relationships, divorce, emotion club. Yeah. Wow. I talk about I I like to talk.
Well, I'll have to invite you back someday because there's clearly a great deal more to talk about, but this is about the average length of my podcast now. So I think as a starting point, we've covered everything that I wanted to say, and It just remains to thank you very much for You're welcome, Anne. You're welcome. Anytime. Anytime. Great. Okay. Many thanks, Dawn. Thank you.
So friends, If you enjoyed this content and would rather not wait until next week for more of the same, you are warmly invited program. It's called Awaken Dot Plus, and the Enquirer level is open now. If you join as a founder member, the price for you will never rise.
My book, The Mind Body Spirit Mentor, is available on Amazon, and please leave me a review for the podcast or the book or both, and connect with me on social media Anne keep sending me those suggestions for subject that you would like me to discuss