True personal growth ultimately will lead to fulfillment, and it's my intention with these podcasts to connect more deeply with you. Thank you for joining me, Anne Corbin, and my guests, and welcome to this episode. Today, I have an exciting guest to welcome. Her name is Sarah Welband. She's had, a number of different occupations in her life.
She was a mortgage broker at one stage, but things are much, I should think, calmer and more pleasant these days because you are involved quite a lot with horses. You probably tell us about that in due course. And, also, you you offer a particular type of hypnotherapy which I'm definitely interested in hearing a lot more about. So over to you, Sarah. Where shall we start? Probably let's start with the horses. They are a huge part of my life.
Even though they are all pretty much retired now, they're in their mid twenties. But, they still give me an awful lot of joy and reason to get up every day. No matter what the weather is like, they have to be fed. They have to be looked after. So they're a a a great leveler in life. Yes. Well, listeners who heard a podcast of mine, which is not very old, it's just going back a few weeks. I had a lovely experience with horses in the Netherlands.
So I absolutely understand the wavelength that you're on and how much horses have to teach us. Yes. Yes. Absolutely. So, I got my my first horse at the grand old age of 48, having wanted one since I was about 8 years old. And, of course, you start with one horse, and then you have to get another horse to keep the first horse company. And to cut a long story short, we had 10 at one stage. And we were running a fairly successful riding school and trail riding here in Portugal.
But I didn't like the way the horses were being treated by by tourists. So I thought there must be another way to to work with horses rather than just sitting on them. And I did some research and trained in equine assisted therapy or equine assisted training, I should say, which is all based on the ground. Horses are have been called the the mirror to our soul. So a horse will, replicate what what you're feeling, how you're behaving.
If you're calm and relaxed, the horse will be calm and relaxed. If you're pretending to be calm and relaxed, but inside you are a seething cauldron of nerves, the horse will pick up on that and will react accordingly. So horses are fantastic at reading, non verbal language, body language, and responding to that.
So we did that for 3 years, and hugely enjoyable watching people, have penny drop moments as to how they were being perceived by the horses and how a small change in their own behavior resulted in a a a big change in the horse's behavior. And then they could therefore take that back to their work life, to their family life. It it was very, very profound changes. It is very astonishing, isn't it? I'm new to this, but Yeah.
I have this experience in the Netherlands, and I've done a little bit of, work as as a student with the horses, not as a trainer. And I I relate completely to what you're saying. Horses are amazing. So sensitive. So sensitive. Yes. And the the the great thing about about them is that they don't judge. So if you try to do an exercise, which is to build your confidence and you get it wrong, the horse will you go you regroup. You go back, and you try it again.
And if you get it right, you get it right. The the horse will not say, well, you got this wrong last time. I'm not going to trust you. So it's it it really is a very, special and very effective way of of training people. The other thing is you're in a very neutral environment. You're not in a in a hotel or an office or somewhere where somebody will have done it before. So even if somebody is a rider, they will not done this type of of exercises, type of work with horses before.
So it's a very it's a it's a great leveler. And we we still do it occasionally, but really pretty much on demand because, as I mentioned, horses are are getting a little bit older now and enjoying their retirement. Yeah. Lovely. Lovely. Lovely. So tell me, how did you get into the the special name for the type of hypno hypnosis that you do? It's no trance. It's no trance hypnosis or remedial hypnosis, interactive hypnosis.
Basically, it's when you say the word hypnosis, a lot of people think of stage hypnosis of Darren Brown, of people being asked to do stupid things on stage and making a fool of themselves. The other the other word that's used a lot is hypnotherapy, where in the same way people are put into a trance, but it's done for therapeutic reason. And you will be put into a trance into a sleep, and the hypnotherapist will talk to you.
No trans hypnosis is where we use hypnotic techniques, but the person that we're talking to, the client we're talking to is awake and alert and can participate in the conversation, can give immediate feedback. And it's very practical. It's very non woo. So people can be they know that they're in control. They're not being put to sleep. They're not going to be asked to do stupid things. They can close their computer lid. They can get up and walk out of the room at any time.
So it's it's this word control is quite quite, controversial, but actually the the control always lies with the client. Is this an acronym for the particular brand of hypnosis that you're practicing? It's actually an acronym for the the the process that you go through. So it's create the space, open the negotiation. And I can't remember the the the all the letters, but the the step, it describes each step of the process as you go through.
Okay. It really, it's it's not important to describe the the words 1 by 1. Yeah. It's just that the idea of control can be a little bit off putting. You you know what I mean? It Yep. We mustn't give the wrong impression. No. Exactly. The the best way to describe it is that the person is regaining control of whatever it is about the way that they feel, the way that they think, or the way that they behave that they're not happy with. Right.
So guess the issues that you've fixed for people in the past? Yep. It may sound a little bit strange, but I I love working with trauma. Trauma is the the the way best way to describe describe trauma is if something happens to you, let's say a a road accident. And once the accident's happened, you can say, okay. Well, the other driver was drunk or they were texting or the road was icy. There was a a reason that this accident happened.
That most likely isn't going to be traumatic because the brain knows, the mind knows that, okay, it wasn't my fault. I couldn't have avoided it. If, however, something happens at the same road accident and the other person dies or or there's no no clear cut reason for it to have happened, the subconscious mind will set off a a program if you like. Say, okay. I need to find out exactly what happened here for the express purpose of avoiding it in the future, to make sure this doesn't happen again.
And to make sure that doesn't happen again, I need to know every little detail. Was I at fault? What happened? Could I have done something differently? So that's when you get the trauma response, and you get the flashbacks. You get the nightmares. You get the intrusive thoughts. You get all this going on simply because the mind is trying to fix an unsolvable puzzle. Sometimes random things just happen, and we there's never going to be an answer.
So when somebody comes to me with with suffering from trauma, and it could be recent, it could be in childhood, basically, we connect with that part of the subconscious which is still running that program, which is still going around in the hamster wheel trying to find a solution and just say, Look. There is never going to be a solution. You can stop. You're not adding to this person's protection. You're not adding to this person's happiness by keep rerunning this event or these events.
And subconscious subconscious mind always wants us to be happy and safe. Safe. Yes. I'm I'm aware of the safe bit. I have not been told before that it wants us to be happy. Well, if you think there are 2 ways of looking at this. We often do things which are unsafe, but which give us great happiness, horse riding.
A lot of people, jumping out of a plane with a little bag attached to your back, skiing off pace, deeply there are so many things that if the subconscious was just concerned with our safety, it would stop us doing it because it is inherently dangerous. But the happiness part overrides the safety. And in a darker way, the the sad case is when somebody decides to to end their own life, you would think that the subconscious would stop them because again, you know, it's very unsafe.
It's the ultimate unsafety. But if the mind says, I can't imagine ever being happy again in the future, if if happiness is not is never going to be available to me, then that ultimate act follow can follow. You know, again, it's that overriding. So there there there are the 2 two, two sides. And, generally, we we can't feel happy unless we are safe, but, you know, there there are different degrees, of of safety and happiness.
Okay. So does the the patient or the client engage in a lot of conversations? Is it like a talk therapy? It's similar to a talk therapy. In terms of the amount, we we we always start with an initial consultation, which is generally about an hour hour long. That's always free, and it's always no obligation because it's really important to make sure that the issue that the person is bringing forward is something that we can help with and that the subconscious will communicate.
There's about 10% of people who we would describe as as super responders, whose subconscious is dying to talk. There is 10% at the other end of the scale where the subconscious just won't engage, and then it there's no point in going any further because it's not going to work. Not the person's fault. It's just one of those things. So that's why we always do the initial consultation. In terms of the amount of information that the person gives, it's entirely up to them.
Some people will want to tell the whole story. Some people just say, look, this is something I really don't want to talk about. And that's fine. Because the subconscious mind, again, I don't know if you've seen the the diagram of the subconscious. You've got, the iceberg. Oh, yes. Uh-huh. Yeah. The the small part sticking above the the sea that's that you can see, that's the conscious mind. Then if you've got this mass under the sea, which is the subconscious.
And that's where your your memories are kept, where your imagination, your emotion, your creativity, all your automatic thoughts and actions, they're all under the surface and you can't normally readily access them. So if somebody comes to me and says, look, I have an issue. I can't best talk about it, but I want to fix it. Then we will just talk directly to the subconscious and say, do you know what this problem is? And a part of the subconscious will will respond.
And I'll explain in a second how we do this. And we'll just say, look, you're not this person is very unhappy. Can you stop this behavior, this sort pattern, this whatever it is. And generally, that part will say yes, because you know, the person's in the room, they they're they're actively trying to make themselves better, and I don't necessarily need to know what it is. They know what it is. Right. So is it muscle testing that you're referring to?
No. The the way we use it is called IMRs, which is idiomotor response, which is basically the fingers. So the subconscious the subconscious mind, if you think about it, it it it's moving your body all the time. I'm talking with my hands at the moment. I'm not consciously doing I am now, but not I I I'm we we we talk with our hands. We walk. We we drive our cars. We do so many things without needing to have a conscious input.
So, basically, I would ask the client so from Zoom, I'll ask maybe to put the hand on the shoulder like this. And I'll say to the subconscious, can you move a finger or a thumb? I'll say to the client, you don't do anything. And the subconscious will literally a finger will move. And we'll have one finger or a thumb for yes and one finger or the thumb for no. And when the client says, what's happening? I I'm not moving my hand. It's moving independently of me.
Then we know it's a subconscious that's talking. Then we have a a a question and answer with a yes and no, because that's all we need. And at some point, I'll say to the subconscious, will you change this? Can you change this behavior? Can you stop this person feeling this pain, for example? They don't need to have this pain anymore. The original injury or problem in the body has been resolved, but you're still sending pain messages to the brain, can you stop? And he goes, oh, okay.
Yeah. I'll stop. And the person will turn around, where's my pain gone? Where's my you know, I I couldn't move my leg without pain, and now it's it's fine. It's it can be quite magical at times. Yeah. So many of these therapies can be magical. Yeah. It's a question of getting to hear about them. Is it not? But what you're talking about is new to me, and I've I dare say I've come across a number of interactions with the subconscious using various modalities over time, but this one's new.
Very interesting. Yep. It's, it dates back to parts therapy, and there's something called the internal family syndrome or internal family system. I've heard of that under a different name, I think. Yeah. I IFS. It was, written about in the book in the 19 eighties. And again, I can't recall the name of the chap who wrote the book. I think Robin or Robert, doesn't matter.
But the the the idea is that we're not just one homogeneous lump of of, you know, person, that there is different parts of us which are responsible for different feelings, different, emotions, different actions. One of the things I've been working with quite a lot at the moment is, emotional eating. People who when when you're a child and you're you're angry or you're upset or you're crying or whatever, a biscuit or a chocolate or a piece of cake will always magically fix it.
And when you're a child, you don't think you it's it's just there. Mhmm. So, again, a part of the subconscious will always have that, well, I'm upset. Therefore, as a child, food was the answer. Therefore, you're upset now. Makes automatic sense to go and get some chocolate because it used to make us feel better. And consciously, we we try all these diets. We try all these these mad methods to try and stop this.
And all you actually need to do is talk to that little bit of the subconscious and say, you did that great job. It was it worked perfectly when we were a child. It's not working now. We would need to just stop doing that. And, again, the subconscious is very childlike. It sees things as right or wrong, black or white, good or bad. And if you just say, can you just stop doing this now? It'll be, oh, okay. Yeah. Yeah. It's just fine. And I'm living proof of that.
On 12th March, I did a little bit of work with my own subconscious because I was eating too many biscuits. I was eating too much chocolate. And I've had 4 biscuits and 2 pieces 2 squares of chocolate since 12th March. Just that emotional connection, that that automatic reaching for the biscuit tin, gone. Gone. Wow. Well, congratulations, obviously. But I I have a very strong suspicion that what you've been talking about is going to be of great interest to a number of my listeners.
So naturally, I'll put details of how to get in touch with you, website, anything else that you've given me, it will all end up in the show notes. I just wanna ask you, how many sessions would a typical client need with you to achieve these results? Generally 3. So we have the initial consultation. If the client decides to go ahead and they they don't have to make a decision there, there's no hard sell.
We have, one session which is the main change session, and then we have 2 follow-up sessions just to make sure everything's okay. And in the 3rd session, I actually teach them how to do how to use the method on themselves, which is a little bit putting myself out of a job, but I can teach people Yeah. I actually teach people how to speak to their own mind so that if something crops up in the future, they can just have a little chat, and and resolve things.
They can always come back to me if it you know, they can't resolve it. But once people learn how to to not be afraid of their own thoughts, how to listen to their thoughts, and how to get to know themselves, which is basically what this is all about. It's it's a, talent, a a a method that they they can use all the time. It's something that they, I hate the word, that they're in touch with themselves, which sounds too woo for me, but, that's effectively what it is.
But all this, self self knowledge and Yes. Connecting with the subconscious, it is what woo is all about really. Yes. And it's the people who don't understand what's going on that, I don't know, call it miraculous, call it manifesting, whatever, but the subconscious is responsible for a great deal of it. Yeah. Yeah. It's it's hugely powerful. And once you you can understand this and and and talk to it, again, the subconscious is all about you being happy.
This is it doesn't mean to say that you won't lose your job or or, you know, things won't happen, but the best way I can describe it is people can wake up being happy that they are them. I'm I wake up and I'm happy being me. No matter what else is going on in my life, no matter what challenges I'm facing, if people can say that, then that is a brilliant way to to start the day. Absolutely. Well, Sarah, it's been such a pleasure talking with you.
I'm really delighted that we recorded this session. I hope you get a lot of contacts from it. Thank you. And, thank you very much. It's been such a pleasure. That's that's very great. Thank you, Anne. Lovely talking to you. Thank you. You can set yourself up to win the game of life. Become familiar with the laws of the universe. You have infinite potential. You can influence reality.
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