If we expect love to "happen to us," or to "come from" someone else to make us whole, we are setting ourselves up for a lifetime of disappointment. Love comes from within, from our own soul-felt connection to life, and when we find that feeling within ourselves, we attract others who want to share it. Many people believe they need something outside themselves, a relationship, or a person, in order to love and be loved. Coming from "need" with others is coming from insecurity, and misunderstandin...
Dec 03, 2022•28 min•Ep. 105
Gratitude is a deep and beautiful feeling filled with love and appreciation for life itself. We all learn as we grow up to be grateful for people and things, to say thank you for presents, to express thanks for our blessings on special occasions, to link our gratitude to special things and people and places. But true gratitude is a profoundly spiritual connection to the joy of just being. In the words of Sydney Banks, " Gratitude and satisfaction have wonderful effects on our souls. They open ou...
Nov 12, 2022•28 min•Ep. 104
We are all vulnerable to "experts" promoting their advice, whether it be lifestyle coaching, investing, parenting, stress management, breaking habits -- and on and on. We tend to think if we're struggling with something, the best solution is to turn to someone who is smarter/wiser than we are and ask them. The catch in that is, even when they DO give us good advice, most of us don't follow it. And we get more frustrated. That's because the one true "expert" in your life is YOUR OWN WISDOM. When ...
Nov 05, 2022•30 min•Ep. 103
People get confused by the term "free will." Things happen that are out of our control! How could we have free will? We can't make the world conform to our desires. But we can make the best -- or the worst -- of our fate. Everything in the universe is part of the infinite energy of creation. So things are always in motion, changing, creating. We have a gift, free will, the ability to think any way we want to about anything we want to think about. We are constantly creating our personal experienc...
Oct 29, 2022•29 min•Ep. 102
It's a challenge for people living in a world where people keep saying "Think about it," "Keep working on it, you'll figure it out;" "You just need to give it some more thought!" to resist the temptation to work hard at figuring everything out. Figuring out what's wrong with them, figuring out HOW to DO rather than looking to SEE and KNOW. The effort to keep on trying to figure things out keeps us from quieting our minds and realizing the wisdom always accessible to us. When we find our inner, s...
Oct 23, 2022•26 min•Ep. 101
Ego, as we use the term, refers to beliefs and ideas we have about ourselves and life. They define who we think we are and how we describe our individual preferences and opinions. We would not have identities without Ego, but without understanding Ego and the misuse of that thinking, it can become a curse and a burden, creating self-judgment, shame, anxiety, disappointment, disillusionment, etc. If we know that our thinking changes, and our thinking about ourselves is within our control and can ...
Oct 09, 2022•27 min•Ep. 100
The theories and techniques in traditional therapy tend to focus on details of people's problems, and how to find resolutions for various aspects of problems. Because people focus on the details, problems expand as they think about them, remembering more details. Sydney Banks wrote (in Second Chance ) "The details are simply proof to the ego that the problem exists. They perpetuate the situation you are trying to get rid of." Details are memories, stored in the intellect. The answers to all our ...
Oct 01, 2022•30 min•Ep. 99
When we speak of psychological innocence, we are not excusing bad deeds. We are explaining that the world looks very different to us in different states of mind/levels of consciousness. So in a deeply insecure, negative state of mind, things make sense to people that would be unthinkable to them in a secure, peaceful state of mind. Each of us is always acting from the state of mind and quality of thinking that we are generating at the time. That's why awareness of the importance of noticing ours...
Sep 24, 2022•30 min•Ep. 98
Realizing the Principles allow each of us to create our own experience of life moment-to-moment has a further implication. Each of us, looking at the same situation, creates our own entirely separate, unique experience of it. Our own reality looks absolutely real, so it's easy for us to forget that others are not thinking what we do, but their reality looks just as real to them. This leads to schisms and misunderstandings unless we look deeper to realize we still have common ground; we are all t...
Sep 17, 2022•28 min•Ep. 97
Anything that pulls us out of the present moment, when we are creating our life, is memory. Memories can be powerful, beautiful, touching, or horrifying, upsetting, sad. No matter what, the past tricks us and keeps us from living life in the now, moment-to-moment. We can recall past joy and think the present can never measure up to it; we can remember past upset and think it is ruining our lives. Understanding the past is not about sorting out the content of our thinking, but recognizing that th...
Sep 10, 2022•24 min•Ep. 96
The field of Psychology, with the intention to end suffering, has fostered suffering inadvertently by focusing on people's past. Because people suffering mentally in the present tend to be focused on thinking, thinking, thinking to try to find relief, they are caught in their intellect and using their memories to try to understand themselves. When we are processing thoughts from our intellect, all we have to work with is the past because the intellect is all stored thoughts. So without an unders...
Sep 03, 2022•24 min•Ep. 95
We think about the past as "real" and important, the personal story of our life that has power over us. Or as memories that haunt us, or delight us. Or as the history we learn about in school. Really, the past is just thoughts, stored in our memory. Just images we can bring to mind. The past is the sentence you just read. The past is everything behind us that isn't happening right now. It is as easy to forget as to remember. It is not a "thing" that we have to deal with or figure out. It has no ...
Aug 27, 2022•27 min•Ep. 94
The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders is a huge volume of symptoms of mental illnesses organized into many hundreds of Diagnoses. We see it more as a collection of observations of the creative ways people in low states of mind come up with to help themselves feel better or quiet their thinking. The Three Principles explain that there is only one underlying mental illness -- innocent misunderstanding of the power to think. And there is only one cure -- understanding our spirit...
Aug 20, 2022•28 min•Ep. 93
While there is no excuse for doing harm to others, an understanding of why it makes sense to the people who do it would improve treatment and rehabilitation for them. We all live on a sine curve from low feelings of insecurity to higher feelings of security and peace of mind. For most people, the feelings come and go, just changing moods. But some people get deeply frightened by low mood, negative thoughts. In an effort to understand or fight them, they hold on to them and think about them more ...
Aug 14, 2022•29 min•Ep. 92
When violent events occur, the quick response often is, "Society has a mental health issue." In truth, people experiencing mental well-being do not harm other people. But most people who are experiencing mental health difficulties do not kill or harm other people. There is a psychological path to violence: as some people experience extended periods of extremely dark, negative, insecure thinking and see themselves as alienated from others and hopeless about who they are or where they fit, they fi...
Aug 06, 2022•26 min•Ep. 91
Principles are discoveries of eternal truths that allow us to understand life more deeply. Principles are at work behind life whether we know them or not. In the case of Mind, Consciousness and Thought, the Principles explain where beliefs come from: Mind, the formless energy of all things, empowering thoughts, which Consciousness brings to our awareness as "reality" (experience of life). They explain why our own thinking looks so real and important to us -- and why we can change our minds. Beli...
Jul 30, 2022•28 min•Ep. 90
We tend to see ideas we have often as "things," -- baked into a reality. We do that with our life stories, our training, our political or religious convictions, our personalities. In our minds, they are "the way it is" or "the way I am." Understanding the inside-out nature of Thought, of the fact that each time we bring a thought to mind it is transitory -- either a memory drawn from our intellect, or a new idea altogether. Thoughts appear real in the present only while they are on our minds. Th...
Jul 23, 2022•30 min•Ep. 89
It's easy to confuse "FEELING" with what people commonly understand as their "feelings" -- what we would call emotions. When Three Principles practitioners talk about listening for the FEELING, we are talking about what Sydney Banks called "the silence of our minds." The FEELING that comes when our minds get quiet and we are open to wisdom is peace of mind, contentment, ease, a sense of connection to the energy of life. It is not an emotion; it is quietude. Paying attention to our ever-changing ...
Jul 16, 2022•28 min•Ep. 88
Most of current psychology focuses on the details of people's thinking -- paying attention to negative thought content, encouraging positive thought content; suggesting journaling "important" thoughts, etc. Working with the details of our thoughts is after the fact; once we've thought something, we experience that thought as real, and the more we think about it, the more "real" or significant it seems. Understanding the principles focuses people on their power TO think. When we see that we are a...
Jul 09, 2022•30 min•Ep. 87
The "information age" has pulled society into the intellect and the pace of life has lessened our respect for quiet, for reflection. As a result, we are divided by beliefs into rigid groups, or separated from family members, friends and colleagues by the ideas we like. Humanity feels fractured. We can reconnect with the understanding that the gift of thought we all have -- to create our own ideas from the energy of life and then see them as real, allows us to experience our thinking, but recogni...
Jul 02, 2022•28 min•Ep. 86
Because we have become accustomed to mental illness being difficult and complicated to diagnose and treat, the idea that all diagnoses arise from a common problem, the innocent misuse of our power to think, seems ridiculously simple. But the Principles reduce the complexity of all the thinking that has been done about our psychology and ourselves to the simplicity of creation: we are born through the energy of creation and we use that energy to create thoughts that consciousness brings to life a...
Jun 25, 2022•25 min•Ep. 85
There's an expression in the Mental Health field: "Flight Into Health." It describes a sense that dramatic improvement in a person's level of mental well-being can't last. People are often confounded when others have an insight that results in a shift in consciousness — for example, realizing that they are spending a great deal of time analyzing their negative thoughts, thus becoming mired in them. If they set themselves free from that habit as a result of that insight, their level of well-being...
Jun 18, 2022•25 min•Ep. 84
As we understand more how our thoughts create our moods, and how our moods are a barometer to the quality of our thinking, we are less and less frightened by our low moods. Although it appears as though they are "caused" by people or events around us, they are actually just the shadow of our thinking. Moods lose their importance when we see that they are just as illusory as our ever-changing thoughts. As our thoughts change, our moods change. Being afraid of our moods and thinking about them mor...
Jun 11, 2022•28 min•Ep. 83
Therapists working from the assumption that external events create our anxiety and suffering take it upon themselves to help clients solve problems, change their lives, or figure out new ways to adjust to circumstances. In the process, without meaning to, clients can become dependent on their therapists to deal with their lives, and therapists can become exhausted as problems pile up. They feel they have to help clients get stronger. Three Principles therapy helps clients see that they are alrea...
Jun 04, 2022•28 min•Ep. 82
The common view of therapy is that people with problems seek therapy to get help solving their problems. Three Principles practitioners are unique in that the goal of our work is not solving particular problems or helping clients get over them, but rather, finding happiness and peace of mind regardless of external circumstances. We assist clients to find their innate resilience and power to address any life situation. The Principles elicit understanding of states of mind/levels of consciousness ...
May 28, 2022•23 min•Ep. 81
Most of us got the message growing up that success is an outcome of making and adhering to careful plans. A deeper understanding of how our minds work, of the Principles, leads us to realize that having a direction, or intention, is helpful, but detailed plans keep the intellect busy and judgmental. That holds wisdom at bay. Deep listening, and patience to wait until an action or decision arises from wisdom, take us down unexpected paths towards our destinations, and often protect us from poor c...
May 21, 2022•22 min•Ep. 80
Sydney Banks always told people, "Just be you. Just be ordinary." Many people thought he was advising mediocrity. But he was not. He was advising understanding that each one of us is born with the power to think our way through the life we can imagine; no two people are alike. It doesn't help us to compare ourselves to others or to aspire to be more like x-person we admire. Just relaxing into our own being and understanding that what we all have in common as human beings is that we are each crea...
May 14, 2022•24 min•Ep. 79
Understanding the Three Principles leads to mental well-being and allows for it to be sustained and strengthened throughout our lifetime. The Principles explain a universal fact: we all use the power of Mind to create our own Thought, and Consciousness enables us to experience our perception of our life as real. Once we recognize that we are the creators of our individual realities, we can navigate life's ups and downs. Knowing that our feelings are the barometers of the quality of our thinking ...
May 07, 2022•27 min•Ep. 78
Much is written about personality disorders. With an understanding of the Principles, we can see that what we call personality disorders are the best efforts of extremely insecure people to define and control themselves. They either create a fantastic idea of themselves and present to the world as perfect, always right, and better/smarter than everyone else or they create a victim story in which their life is far worse than anyone else's. They think they are always mistreated, misunderstood and ...
Apr 30, 2022•24 min•Ep. 77
Some people get upset with life or disappointed in themselves if relationships don't turn out the way they hoped or planned. People get locked into bad feelings and find they have trouble "getting over" the relationship. In fact, as soon as a relationship ends, "it" is over. From then on, we are locked in a relationship with our own memories. It helps to see how easily we can be tricked by our own thinking. If we dwell on what we've lost, or what went wrong, or why our plan went awry, we are inn...
Apr 23, 2022•27 min•Ep. 76
