Renée Zavislak, a licensed psychotherapist, counsels callers, teaches holistic wellness principles, and talks a lot of shit
WE'RE BAAAA-AAAAAACK! Well, almost. For now, Renée is back with an update. And, as with all episodes in which Renée is the guest, this one is unplanned, unedited, and a little unhinged. It's exactly what you're used to! Support the show
You know the drill: unplanned, unscripted, a bit unhinged. Renée has big news about some big changes. We'll let her explain... Support the show
Claire found a glass pipe at home when she was 10 years old and brought it to school. At that age, she had no frame of reference for her parents' addictions. "When other people were like, ' Dude, what's your mom on?' it really started to sink in," she explained to Renée. The violence and instability at home led Claire to a lot of risky behavior as an adolescent, and at 16 she was a pregnant high school sophomore. Spoiler alert: Claire is now married to a supportive partner; she found her career ...
"Things started to get hard...when I realized there were beauty standards," LJ told Renée. LJ was adopted from South Korea by when she was 6 months old. Growing up in Vermont, she found herself paradoxically situated between the progressive political spirit of the Northeast and its pervasive, problematic whiteness. LJ is a mental health counselor and smart as a whip, so she is able to explain beautifully the complicated intersections of her racial and sexual identity development. As she does, sh...
Megan's earliest memory is of being abused, and that abuse remained a defining feature of her childhood, along with significant neglect. She spent part of her childhood in foster homes, part with her grandparents, and part navigating her mother's mental illness and addiction. Her history is so traumatic that Renée can barely control her reactions (and, you know, she barely tries), but Megan is remarkably resilient and ready to sort out the horrors of her upbringing and the abusive relationships ...
Imani came to the show to talk about America's favorite symptom: anxiety. In the last few months, the anxiety that Imani has suffered since middle school has increased significantly, and she has no idea why. The question is particularly tricky because Imani has much less content than our usual guest. Renée is up for the challenge, though! She investigates, combing through Imani's childhood and adolescence, ultimately separating her functional anxiety from her dysfunctional anxiety, her trauma fr...
The laughter starts at the very beginning this week. Mike is a brilliant storyteller with a particularly compelling voice, and he makes Renée laugh - a lot. But don't let his buoyant humor fool you: Mike has been through it. "I would just sit at home and cry," he explains of the long stretches of time in his life when he has been lost in emotional pain. To make matters more difficult, Mike cannot pinpoint the exact source of his distress. He and Renée sort through the delusions, depressions, and...
When Hannah was seven months old, her parents sent her to live with a foster mother, and it would be four years before she was reunited with her family. The strangest part about this is that it wasn't strange at all; at the time, this was a common arrangement for Nigerian families in the UK. Hannah's story continues to be unpredictable and unique: she went from military school and the Merchant Marines to earning an MFA in Creative Writing and hosting a cannabis literary club. She comes to the sh...
This episode talks in detail about rape. "I've actually been really scared to talk about these things," Paige told Renée as she started to tell her story and lose her breath. Paige had a relatively happy childhood and an appropriately "boy crazy" adolescence. Unfortunately, her first boyfriend was so abusive and controlling that, until recently, she kept the details of the five-year relationship buried far away from her consciousness. Now a happily married, 32 year-old mother of three, Paige fin...
"It's an abusive relationship sometimes," Chad told Renée. He wasn't talking about his love life - he was talking about his job. Chad, who brings equal parts strength and sensitivity to the conversation (not to mention a seriously soothing voice), works as a 911 Dispatcher, and, as he explains, he often wants out but just can't leave. This relationship with his job is a big part of the reason Chad has come to the show; he is hoping Renée can help him let go of the stress he carries not only beca...
Jess was raised in the Mormon church and was a perfectly happy child - until she was sexually assaulted by two neighbors at 11 years old. Even at that young age, she had the self-possession to report the incident, only to be told by the church that the assault was her fault. This was the origin of Jess's "bad picker," as she calls it; she found herself drawn to abusive relationships before extricating herself from the church and its dogma. The journey from oppression to autonomy was dynamic and ...
Chris had a happy childhood. He has an aspirational marriage. He loves his job. So what the hell is he doing on the show? Well, Chris had a happy childhood, but his brother did not, and this difference has strained their relationship to near estrangement - and that is what Chris is doing on the show. Not only does he want help navigating the conflict with his brother, but he also wants to protect the relationships he has with his brother's kids - without betraying his own boundaries. Fortunately...
"I remember dieting a lot," Tatiana explained to Renée about her childhood, recalling that her mother regularly told her "You'd look prettier if you lost twenty pounds." Her mother's constant criticism corrupted not only Tatiana's relationship with food but also her relationships in general - with herself, with partners, with her body. Tatiana is startlingly wise for her age; her insight, intelligence, and vulnerability make her story even more compelling, and the content is compelling enough on...
Hey everyone; this is Renée. The first thing you need to know about this week's episode is that it's not a real episode. It's a long-form placeholder. There was a bit of a disaster with tonight's episode (hint: the disaster's name starts with R and hosts the show), and you know there is no way I was going to skip a week of content without at least letting you know what's going on. So this was intended to be a brief explanation, but as usual I kept talking. If you are looking for the engaging gue...
"Well now you've made it much more complicated!" Jesus told Renée when she offered an explanation for his social isolation. Indeed, Jesus came on the show hoping to promote his comedy and have a quick conversation - but you know Renée can't let him off that easily. Instead, she took Jesus on a deep dive into his history of self-proclaimed "not caring." He didn't care about school, he doesn't care about socializing, and he doesn't care about not caring. What's going on? Well, Jesus didn't really ...
"I can't move past it," Kimberly explained to Renée, referring to the loss of her closest friendship. The loss of the friendship was complicated by the loss of a baby, and now Kimberly finds herself dealing with what she can best describe as "survivor's guilt." When she and Renée dug into the situation, it became clear that Kimberly is still, years after the friendship fracture, in deep pain - and as they dug even deeper, they found that there is lot more going on than just this break-up. Kimber...
"I was just born sponge-y," Jaye told Renée, explaining her exquisite sensitivities. These sensitivities made for a challenging childhood, one that would have been difficult for any child given Jaye's emotionally neglectful and conflict-ridden home. Now a 37 year-old therapist in the UK, Jaye has healed many of her old wounds, but there are still some pain points that traditional therapy has not addressed. Specifically, Jaye struggles with boundary setting, is plagued by persistently negative se...
Sami brings an issue to the show that no other guest has: he desperately wants to get a dog. Doesn't sound like a problem, right? It is for Sami, because when he thinks about becoming a pet parent, his mind immediately goes to the inevitable loss he will face when the dog dies. He is having the same problem with dating. He isn't pursuing love because he is too scared of what he anticipates will be an inevitably messy breakup. And here's the thing: Sami really wants a dog - and a girlfriend. What...
Ally, a former middle school teacher turned professional artist, has come to the show to talk about two of therapy's favorite topics: parents and boundaries. Specifically, Ally needs help setting boundaries with her parents - the trick is, she wants to do so without confrontation. Renée accepts the challenge, and as she formulates a plan for Ally, they make a few stops at other topics: toxic teachers, teenagers, bullying, anxiety, friendships, money, and more. Ally has a lovely voice, a fast dry...
When Renée asked Torie what she does for work, Torie responded, "Ugh. You're going to hate this. I'm a lawyer." This was only one of many times that Torie made Renée laugh out loud. Hilarious and whip-smart, Torie grew up in an "enmeshed" family that survived both her mother's brain tumors and her father's catastrophic car accident. She navigated severe anxiety as a child, postpartum depression as a new mom, and, most recently, an existential crisis. She comes to the show hoping Renée can help h...
"I'm the mediator...I'm the oldest everything," Layla told Renée. While she is the oldest child in her immediate family and the oldest cousin in her extended family, Layla is the youngest guest we have ever had on the show. You'd never guess that from listening to her, though; she is wise beyond her years and lovely in every way. She is also carrying a timeless burden, one that most of us unpack much later in life. Layla brings all the podcast favorites to this episode - fragile ego responses, e...
Christy reached out to Renée in a Q&A with this question: "My skin gets red and blotchy whenever I'm around cis men. What's going on?" Since Renée needed a lot more information before she could formulate an answer, she and Christy and decided to sort it out on the show. They look at Christy's childhood, her marriage, her experience as a parent - all of it - ultimately arriving at a fascinating explanation, one that both Renée and Christy are quite excited about. And get this: it's NOT trauma...
"I don't really want to talk about this at all, but let's do it," Deena told Renée when they started talking. Deena, a performing artist, has a brilliant dry wit - but in this case she was only half-joking. She has a bunch of painful content that she'd rather ignore; fortunately, she's too smart for that, so she has come to the show for help unpacking the knot of depression and trauma she has been carrying for years. And that's not all: she and Renée talk about ADHD and how it can complicate fri...
Our first guest of the year is here to blow your mind. Haley was sex trafficked as a young child - by her mother. Now 31 years old and a mother herself, Haley comes to the show to tell her story and deepen her healing. She has done so much work already to break the many cycles of dysfunction into which she was born, but, as any cycle breaker will tell you, the work can feel endless. Renée gives Haley potent supports to keep her life force spinning as she finds leaves behind the deeper trauma sca...
Renée is back with one more episode of storytelling and psycho-education to kick off the new year. This week, she narrates the series of disasters that hit just as she was leaving Italy and makes meaning from the madness. Then, she answers listeners' questions about domestic violence, the ego, and defense mechanisms. Next week, we return to our usual format with some amazing guests. Until then, sink your teeth into some meaty content delivered with Renée's characteristic unfiltered, unedited, un...
Renée continues last week's series of episodes from Italy in trademark style: unplanned, unedited, and with a lot of words. This week, she talks about being a gluten-free vegan in the land of pizza and pasta before answering a few particularly interesting listener questions. Topics include why so many married couples are breaking up, how to tell your partner you're upset without causing a fight, and the best ways to intervene on panic and anxiety attacks. Plus, there's a bonus section at the ver...
We take a break from our regular programming this week so that Renée can catch up on some juicy questions from listeners. Topics include fractured relationships, EMDR, phobias, and Body Dysmorphic Disorder. And as always with Renée-only episodes, it's raw! No editing, no breath work breaks, just a whole lot of information. If you have a question for Renée that didn't make it to this episode, don't despair. There will be another, longer Q&A episode coming very soon, so keep those questions co...
Mickayla is a stand-up comedian, which makes her an excellent storyteller, and she has quite the story to tell - one she has never told before. She decided to come to the show after realizing that the trauma of her marriage is interfering with her new single life; she is constantly triggered in her new relationships, and she feels her depression creeping back to full strength. To make it more complicated, Mickayla does not currently have access to therapy or EMDR, though she has done both in the...
"I call it my 'splat from grace!'" Michelle told Renée. "My entire life turned upside down with my divorce." She isn't kidding. Michelle's marriage started out "fairy tale-esque" and devolved into an abusive nightmare over the course of 18 years. She comes to the podcast hoping Renée can help her deal with the worst consequence of her family's fracture: her broken relationship with her adult son. In order to get it sorted, Renée follows Michelle through the dramatic narrative that begins with Mi...
Travis was diagnosed with both depression and ADHD as an adult, and recently his symptoms have intensified to the point that they are creating problems in his marriage and sabotaging his satisfaction with life in general. "I've stopped trying to pursue things that I want," he explained to Renée. Travis came to the show in the hopes that Renée can help him manage his executive dysfunction and recapture his initiative. And so she does, clarifying the relationship between ADHD and depression before...
