7 Lessons I’ve Learned from Life and Business

So grab a coffee , sit back and let's get ready to blast off . I'm your host , frans van der Toij .

So , as I said when I started off , today's episode is that , you know , we often feel life is hard , things are difficult , it's really tough , and it feels like things are becoming tougher and tougher , and then , for people who are in business , they will definitely tell you that business is even harder .

It's definitely not something that's easy , and it does become easy at some point when everything is in place .

It does become easy at some point when everything is in place , but in that early journey when we're building businesses , and when we sort of get to those specific stages where things now suddenly , you know it's either just flatlined and we've got to do something else to go to the next level , or even we think like this is where we are .

We just want to maintain . There's so many sort of different phases in a business , that every time , we will be faced with challenges and things that we haven't done before and things that we just don't know actually how to how to approach them .

But all of this has really brought uh , you know , a lot of insights , I think , over the years , because I've been doing this for for a very long time . You know , some people think I only started back in 2020 , because the only time that they learned that we even existed was when we started the show , and it it's not really the truth .

I've been around for a long time , I've been doing my own thing for a very , very long time , and it was a long , hard journey because of certain things I did not do .

And those are the things that really stand out for me , because once you start doing them , everything changes , and then you get to a point where you go , okay , I should have done this a long time ago . Have you ever said that in your business , I should have done this a long time ago ?

Well , there were quite a few of those for me , and this is also not just about how fantastic the successful the outcomes were , because , trust me , most of them were not . This is about . You know how do you take a situation and look for actively . Look for what's the lesson in this .

Actively look for how can I use this to learn from , how can I use this to be better next time ? You know , what did we take away from this ? Doesn't matter how bad or how good the thing is that happened , because often we won't focus on the things that are good right , we only go and focus on the things that are bad and like why did this happen ?

What did we not do ? But when things go well , we don't go and sit and say , well , what are we doing ? That's actually causing this to go well . So those are some of the things that I just want to sort of start off with , to say just have that as a background and a context of where this is coming from . I've got down .

I'm going to share seven with you . I think last season I shared seven or five others with you as well , so today these are seven different ones that I want to share with you , just sort of from that point .

Now , there was a period of time in my life where I think people thought that you know , it's like , oh , he's jumping around , he's moving from here and then he's there . He doesn't know what he wants to do . Or it's like oh , he's jumping around , he's moving from here and then he's there .

He doesn't know what he wants to do , or even things like you know , you can't depend on him because he's only going to be here for two years and then he's going to move on .

And there's something that those people don't understand usually , and often for us that finds ourselves in that place , it's very difficult to also say , well , you know , why am I doing this , why is this happening ? And to also say , well , you know , why am I doing this , why is this happening ?

And there's something inside of you that you simply can't explain to people , and sometimes you can't even explain it to yourself . But the one thing that I've come to realize is that when you are sort of jumping from one place to another , it's not because you're not dependable or that people can't depend on you .

It's not because you know of anything other than you still searching . So for me here , the big thing is that you know , if you don't know whether it's , you don't know what you want to do , you don't know what clients you want to work with .

You don't know if you want to be a financial advisor if you don't know whatever it is that you do , whatever your role is at the moment , if you just feel like you know , this is fine but it's not really the thing . This is fine but it's not really the thing , and there's something inside you that's really driving you towards something specific .

You know the job is to go and find out , because this is what happened , right . So back in , I mean , there's quite a few things . So . So I was at one of the insurance companies for a very long time of 2004 to 2012 . I then left .

I was nine months at the next place and then I went into building a practice with somebody else and six months into that I was just like I don't even get up in the morning in bed . You know , 10 o'clock in the morning , I would still be in bed . I'm not doing anything . And that's not me .

For those of you who do really do know me , that's definitely not me . And I realized at some point like something's right as well . So there's , there's all these telltale signs . Then my wife also came and said like yeah , that this isn't you like what's going on , and I know what you need . You need a life coach .

Now , back then I don't even think in 2014 life coaching was a big thing , uh , but it was becoming something . And then I landed up with someone that was everything but a life coach .

I I think she was more of a psychologist Anyway , worked through some stuff and then the one big thing that I realized during those 10 sessions was that I don't know what I want . I just know that the thing I'm doing now is not the thing , but I don't know what the thing is . That makes it very difficult . And this was the big one .

Yeah , like , if you don't know , then the job is to find out . That becomes the job . It's the same like when you're unemployed , when you don't have a job , the job is to find a job . That becomes the job , right ?

So the same thing with this and this applies to anything , not just what it is that you want to do in life and what you want to pursue and all of that , anything in life if you don't know , the job is to find out . So the big thing is to just try , just do the next thing . Fail , be happy with that , be okay with it , to say you know what .

I've been here now for two years . I'm sorry , this is not for me , because ultimately it is about your happiness . It is about the things that's driving you .

It's about the things that get you out of bed in the morning and that year or two years or three years or five years or 20 years , if you've been around , you've been feeling like this for 20 years , but you think you can't move , so you've got to stay .

You've learned a lot during that period of time , so it's never time lost and people did get value from you being there , so nobody can really complain . But this is important . So if you don't know , the job is to find out , so that's sort of number one .

So in 2015 , when I sort of started realizing that you know , like , maybe this training thing is a thing that I want to do and that it really speaks to me , it really excites me , and it took somebody else to point this out to me , which was an incredible thing , because I didn't get it the first time when he said it to me , and then only like three

months later , when he said it again , that it really struck me what he was saying and the way that I got started . That's a whole story for another day , but it's incredible and to sort of then realize like this is the thing that I want to do . So in 2015 , I started figuring that out , 2016 , I sold my practice and then I went full into this .

But it was really really hard to get going with this . The one thing I learned here is that it doesn't matter what you know and being able to do the job is completely something different from building a business .

Like being able to do the job , you can be the best at what you do in the world , but if you don't know how to build a business , you know it's sort of a little bit difficult in the world . But if you don't know how to build a business , you know it's sort of a little bit difficult , but anyway .

So what happened year after year after year , when it comes to October or so , like the cash flow just dried up . There was nothing , nothing , nothing , nothing . Because why ?

Well , everybody stops training in October and they sort of push for the end of the year and it's like we got to get to the next level , we've got to make targets and we don't worry about training anymore . It's now year-end functions and targets , that's it .

So I found myself in this . And then what happens inevitably is that I it really got me to do nothing . I was so like I didn't know what to do and I'll talk about that a little bit later as well .

I had no clue what to do , so I did nothing , and also I was so stressed about it because it I sort of assigned a specific meaning to it and because I assigned a specific meaning to it , it made me like feel like I don't know if this is going to work . I don't know if I'm meant to do this .

I don't like you question all of these things and , uh , sort of what then happened was I , uh , was it 2018, ? Again in October , it was exactly the same story and I just decided , well , actually 2017 , so 2018, . So actually , then I decided , like next year , this is not going to be the case .

So there are certain things that I need to do , and this is the big thing . It's not about knowing what to do , it's not about having a list of things that you want to do . It's about actually doing them . So it's about taking action . It's the . Acta Non Verba is a book that it's a Latin expression for action , not words .

But Acta Non Verba is a book also that Eric wrote . I can't remember Eric's surname now , but anyway . So Eric wrote this book and it was actually just made up of his emails that he was sending to his email list every single day .

The South African guy is absolutely phenomenal and I got to see him speak at SME Africa roundabout in 2018 somewhere , and something just sort of struck a chord with me . It's not about knowing these things . It's not about saying let's see if luck is in my favor . This time . It was about taking the actions .

It was about making the call , doing what's necessary . So , making the call , asking for help because often , like , we don't ask for help , right , so I'm not just bundling a lot of things into one year .

Sometimes it might mean that maybe you got to take on a second job , you know , or temporary job or something , but do what is necessary to get you through this and to get you to the next level and plan in advance .

That's the big important thing , because I was so busy with the day-to-day things , like all of we are , and then , before you know it , it was October and I'm screwed . Okay , so now what's next ? So the second one I want to share with you is act on non-verbal action over words , and it , for me , is do what is necessary .

Uh , don't , don't , yeah , no excuses , right , so we've got to do what needs to be done and things changed , um , for 2019 , because I did some things differently . And then , uh , beyond that , obviously , after we did some other stuff , a lot of things , because there's another lesson in there that I'll share with you in a moment , also back in 2016 .

Now you must , you must think about this that things are tough . Cash flow is erratic . It's up and down , up and down , then there's money , then there's no money , because what typically happens when you have a small business ?

You look for clients , you find clients , then you do the work , then you're not looking for clients , and then you're done with the work and they show crap .

I don't have clients and then I go look for clients , like it's this start , stop , start , stop , start , stop all the time , and you move almost from from one uh , I couldn't put this like you move from a one high to a low and from a low back to a high , but it's these , these values of things that are like , just as you think .

Uh , and then the other problem that I had was like , oh , when there was money in the bank , I would actually relax , because I I deserve to , to relax a little bit , right . And then you sort of don't do the things that you were doing when you weren't at the top , and then it was a really bad snowball effect , anyway .

So in 2016 , I'm in Bloemfontein and I'm driving . I was doing training there , doing people that were going through the NKF5 , I think and we were doing some training there and I got this call from my wife and we had this massive sort of thing on the phone because , like , when am I going to get a job ? And when is this ?

And she's tired of this and that . And there was something else that triggered that . It's not like she didn't support me or anything like that . There's something else that happened that caused her to react like that , because she always has to answer questions for other people and things like that .

So I totally got it , but in that very moment , I just decided I don't need anyone . I will prove to everybody what can be done . And that was a big thing for me because , you know , often so many people have told me that your business is difficult . You know you're not gonna be able to do this .

There's all these reasons , because people are inherently risk averse , right , so they don't want to take on risk . They can't see it working . So , unless they are paid a salary , they really not comfortable . And I saw this in COVID as well .

I had a few friends who lost their jobs , or at least their jobs were at risk of losing , or they reduced their salaries and things like that . But they would just sit there , you know . Or people who did lose their job was just like now I've got to find another job . Okay , so , but there's so many other things you can do .

So , at the end of the day , it's about , you know , you've got to listen , not listen rather , to other people . You've got to listen , not listen rather , to other people . You've got to listen to the right people , and even if that person is just you , because in that moment in 2016 , I was like screw this , I don't need anybody to believe in me .

I'm going to do this because I know where this is going . I know why I'm doing this , because this is finally something that connected with me and I will make this work . And at some point , somebody is going to go like oh , now I see it . And inevitably that happened . It took a long time , but we got there . But that's not the moral of the story .

The big moral of the story here is that even when family , friends , loved ones , it doesn't matter when they tell you like no , no , just go do this because this is not working , just go do that because this is not working . Just go do that because this is not working .

If you can see where things are going because that's often the thing , like you and I can see where things are going that nobody else can see it , and often we have more patience than they do , because all they see is what you don't have and what you're not achieving . But you've got to think long term .

You've got to think about where are you headed , because it's these little things we do every single day that moves us closer and closer and closer , until it's just sort of a waterfall where things just start happening . So that's the big thing , right ? So listen to the right people , even if that person is just you .

Now there's a thing that I want to end off today with not now , but when I get to the end . That's also going to talk to that , because there is something that we need to look out for in that it's not as simple as that . So you really need we all need that one person .

How many of you have said , you know , just because that person believed in me , that's what got me to take action ? Because that person believed in me and it usually was a good manager or it was a friend or a loved one or somebody who said you can do this , I believe in you because of that .

You did that , but I still believe that often that one person could just be you as well . So so don't think about all of this other noise as well , but you've got to do the things that needs to be done right . So the the . The other thing that is quite , quite interesting um , I don't know if people think I've got discipline . I absolutely don't .

On my strengths finder , discipline is number 32 of 34 or 31 of 34 , um , so it's way at the bottom .

So one of the things that I really realized is that and this is something that came directly from doing my clifton strengths and working with you , working with Johan Westhuyzen and that the one thing that I learned was that just because there's something , because everybody you'll see Tom Bilyeu and people like that talk about discipline , discipline , discipline .

That's what gets you to be healthy , that's what gets you to build a business , that's what gets you to be wealthy , is the discipline , but sometimes , for some of us , discipline is not a natural thing . Is the discipline , but sometimes , for some of us , discipline is not a natural thing .

Now , the one big thing that I learned was that I could use other strengths in order to hack myself into being , or at least to seem , disciplined . So I am very strategic , I am futuristic ideation , those kinds of things , responsibilities , some of my top five , and that has caused me to say , well , if I can do , what could I do ?

From that point of view , that would just take away the fact that I don't need to be disciplined because I can automate some of this stuff , or I could give it to somebody else to do , or we could do other stuff to make sure that this happens . And that was the big lesson for me is that you don't need to be able to do everything .

You don't need to be great at everything , but the things that you are really good at . Use that to hack the bad habits or the weaknesses

you know . For too long we've been in a game where I remember back when I was a consultant and also even when I was a manager , you would ask people like you know what are your weaknesses ?

And then that's what we need to develop , no nonsense Like what are the things that you're really good at , because that's the stuff you want to spend a lot of time on .

You love spending time on it , you want to get as great as you can and for your call it weaknesses or development areas , as we used to call them just either get somebody else who can do that , who's better at that , for whom it's a strength . That's what we should be doing . So think about your business .

There are a lot of stuff that you don't want to do , but you do it because they have to get done . But find somebody else who really love that stuff . There's people who love compliance and there's people who love operations and there's people who love all of these things . It is their world . Your world is probably seeing clients . So go focus on that .

Don't focus on these other things and don't let money be the thing that stands in your way , because it's an investment into , into that , because if you're not spending time there , you're spending time on things you love and you're definitely going to make more money because of that and on that note , um , so , just so you know .

So so that lesson was use your strengths to hack your bad habits and weaknesses . But , on that note , the biggest thing that I probably learned , there's something I talk about a lot in the seven habits to build a legendary practice , the very first thing that you and I should do . It doesn't matter what role you're in .

So whether you're in admin , or whether you're financial advisor or planner , or whether you're a sales manager it doesn't matter what it is you do You've got to go and identify in your role , what are the three top things that you've got to be doing every single day that will generate revenue . So think about this . Right , there's loads of things .

So , if you're a financial advisor , there's I need to write a newsletter for my clients because that might result in revenue . I've got to issue the invoices for the work that I've done or that I'm about to do . So that's revenue generating . I've got to make that video . I've got to do that social media .

But are they your responsibility and is it the thing that you should be doing in your role ? For me , it's if I should think about , if I'm a financial advisor , what are the things that generate revenue ? Well , seeing clients is the very first thing . Building a network or networking , that's the second thing .

So that's what I should be doing every single day and then decide okay , what are the other things that I do ? So unless I've done those things , I shouldn't be doing the other things . So it's just a matter of bringing focus as well .

You know , for me , in our business , it is literally about seeing people doing sessions and creating content , because we need all three of those in order to generate revenue . And even the content is is is maybe debatable , could outsource that to somebody else , and I could still deliver that . But be this may .

What are the three things that you need to be focusing on every single day that generates revenue directly , not indirectly , directly , so that that is a big one for me . Um , as well , I don't know . Often , you find yourself in a situation where you find yourself where I know exactly what the end outcome is that I'm looking for . I can see it .

This is how it's going to be If this works , this is exactly what it's going to be , but hell , I don't know how I'm going to do it . I have no idea what the steps are . You know , because everybody says starts with the end in mind and then work backwards . So it's almost like like okay , so this is the end outcome .

Before that I had to do this and then I had to do this , and then I had to do this , and then I had to do this until you get to the beginning and then you just start doing the stuff . Now that sounds fantastic when you're doing some kind of a course , but in reality we often don't know .

We might know the big things , but even within the big things , we don't know the exact steps that we need to do . Now , because we don't know the exact steps , it often leads to inaction . It often means that we don't do anything because we first have to figure out every single thing that we've done , and I don't believe that that's really useful .

There were many , many cases that I can give you examples of where I just did something . You just take that first step and then the next step happens and the next step will show it , and then sort of I've done this quite a few times .

And then I also read this in I think it was the Entrepreneur Revolution by Daniel Priestley where he was actually saying the exact same thing . Just make that first call , just take that first step , just have that one meeting , just do this , do this , and then the next thing will reveal itself , even if you don't know how you are going to do this .

Just do something , I think is often the better thing , because that's something more than not will lead to the next thing , and it will just reveal itself as you go .

So you know , sometimes I know that we really love having certainty and that we know , we want to know that we're going to get this outcome , but I also don't believe that that's how life and business works . You know , there's too many things . The only things we can own are the decisions we make . So why did I make this decision today ?

The outcome I've no control over the decision I do and if the outcome is different from the one that I hoped for doesn't mean that I made the wrong decision . No , because that decision I made was actually done with the information at hand and the way that I viewed the world at that time . So it's not a problem , it is what it is , it's fine .

So we shouldn't get all onto like I didn't get what I want , so I made the wrong decision . No , there was nothing wrong with your decision . Things changed after you made the decision , which made the outcome . Maybe there were information that wasn't available at the time . Maybe some of the things changed after that . There are many things that you can't control .

It's almost like when you do a plan for a client today , you know , you know tomorrow it's wrong , right . So that's why we review it every year to sort of adjust and do things like that . So that's important . Just take that first step , it will be okay , and often that's exactly what happened with the show . I had no idea what to do .

I think some people had a massive 20 point plan for how they're going to get through COVID . I had no freaking idea , no idea . All I did was see a guy go live on YouTube every day . I said , oh , I can do that . I did was see a guy go live on YouTube every day . I said , oh , I can do that .

I did it and I mean there was a lot of grace and a lot of luck . I think also the timing was right and things like if I were to do that when there wasn't COVID , probably nobody would be watching still . So there's a lot of things that came together , but there was no , no foresight or insight , or like the only inspiration I had was not to go insane .

So that's why we did the show , but this is the thing that changed everything else in our business and in my life . So it's really incredible what something like that can do .

And that's the most incredible when you look back and you go like this is the one thing I should have done a long time ago , but I don't think the time was right a long time ago , so everything will unfold the way that it has to . I don't think the time was right a long time ago , so everything will unfold the way that it has to .

Then , you know , one of the things that I see a lot of people do and I was also one of those where we think that this is , let's say , this is the status quo , but we want it to be different . So we want to change it and we've got a different view of the world and we say like this is what it should be . You know , one case in point maybe fees .

So there's this debate between commission and fees and some people say no , you know , commission , just there's a conflict of interest , can't do that . There's no relationship between the product and the advice and like all of these kinds of things and you know , advice don't always lead to this but then you don't get paid . Like none of these things make sense .

Get paid . How much you get paid doesn't make . Like you know , there's a lot of conversation going on but then we have , like people who are on on the extreme that will go like fees is the only way to go , because other people say I can't build a business unless there's commission , and you've got all the different permutations .

Um , in between , the biggest thing that I've learned , uh , you know , is that , or the one danger that we have is that we get so romantic about an idea and there's a difference between being passionate about an idea and believing in an idea and just being romantic about it . So if you're romantic about it , they say love is blind .

So you really , you talk so much about it and it can't be any other way . And this is what I believe in and it's fine . You must have a philosophy and you must stand for something .

But when you realize that this thing is not going to work and I'm not saying that fees , I'm just saying whatever that thing is if that doesn't work , then you must be very careful that you don't not let go , because you've now spoken yourself almost into a corner with everything that you've said about how bad this other thing is and this is the way that it

should be . So that will leave you in a position where now you feel like you can't stop because you've now set these things out into the world but in fact that's exactly what you should be doing and to rather go from a point that look , I've learned this throughout this process .

I still believe that this is the way where we need to get , but we'll get there in time , but it's not going to happen today . So don't be romantic about ideas , because if you're romantic about an idea , it will often cause you to hold on to an idea .

That's bad for you , and holding on to an idea that you know it's causing you , it's holding you back , it means that you're not going forward . Remember , in the end , everything is about doing the right thing for the right reason , with the right intent . That's it . And if you can tick those three boxes , everything else will be fine .

So we shouldn't overthink it and all of that . So , again , you know , be confident about your idea , be passionate about your idea , but don't romanticize that , because you might not see the wood for the trees . So those are the lessons I wanted to share with you . I'm keen to look at the comments just now . So thank you very much , righty . So let's see .

Let me just go . Thank you very much , neil . Neil says very real words . Terence says yes about the version and the why , or the vision and the why . Tanya is saying Shofran , thanks for sharing so much in terms of your personal life journey . One thing I realized as outsiders we often don't know what people go through .

We just see the success but never the rest of the journey . As you say , see the hard work and the struggles , and it is just like that . And also people think it happens overnight . Right , it's a long journey that we go through and all of us like it's not no one's special in that regard . We all have a story .

That's the amazing thing that I really always think about . Neil says Ben Hardy's book who , not how , is excellent , absolutely . That's brilliant . Thank you very much for sharing that . Liana says be open-minded and not miss opportunities . And fantastic . Quibus ends off here with saying profound sessions today . Yes , I think all the sessions really hit home .

So thank you very much , really appreciate your being here . Thank you for joining us live . If you haven't subscribed yet , please do subscribe and like this video , share it with others , help us get the word out . But on that , have a fantastic weekend . We'll see you back next week , same time , same place , and stay blessed , stay safe

and prosper . I forgot my own words . Now , anyway , have a fantastic weekend . Love you lots , bye , bye , alright , folks . That's a wrap for this episode of Propulsion . I hope you got as much out of this as I did remember to tune in every Friday at 8am South African time for our live show called Propulsion Live .

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