Harnessing the Power of Soft Skills: A Guide to Emotional Intelligence and Leadership Development with Art Snarzyk

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He has considerable experience in corporate America and spent nine years running a successful painting company , which provides him with an understanding of the challenges involved in hiring quality employees . He advocates for a scientifically tested method to attract , hire and retain top talent , moving away from reliance on intuition and subjective assessments .

Welcome back to the podcast Art . How's it going Really ?

I wanted to get you back on and talk about personal development and developing those soft skills and emotional intelligence which I know that I severely lack , and so this is mostly just a therapy session that I'm recording and putting on a podcast , but hopefully it might be useful for someone else as well . But yeah , I'm excited to get into things .

I like to say that all of my research is just me search , so hopefully all the stuff that I found out about people I can bring to your guests .

He has a lot of creativity and he can develop products really well , but he can't run a team and he ends up getting kicked out of Apple . And he runs a couple other businesses . One of them doesn't go too well .

He ends up coming back to Apple many years later and he had learned all these lessons about managing teams , mostly done at Pixar , where he worked with someone named Ed Catmull who was really good at managing people and creative teams .

And he came back to Apple where he had still his skill for product development , but he also had the skill of team development and running high-powered teams and that's where he really just took off with Apple and developing the iPad and the iPhone and all that stuff , that great stuff that came out of Apple while he was took over that second time and I think

the one of the things that changed the big things was although he was still abrasive in the end , he's a very intimidating person . He did learn how to .

He learned some soft skills that allowed him to to take take a team and get the most out of them , which I think , as entrepreneurs , that's really what we need to be able to do is take a team , lead them and take them to another place .

In the DISC model he's going to be a high D , probably some C for anyone who understands that stuff , but that's very direct and fast moving . And when we talk about skills and bolting on soft skills , we're not talking about softening a person or that the skills are soft .

We're just talking about the distinction between hard skills and soft skills , hard skills being program that computer or paint that house or estimate that job . Soft skills being talk to Mrs Jones about how things are going right , or some of the ones that we specifically measure that are soft , that are super hard and heavy hitting are things like empathy .

How about personal accountability ? Do you take accountability when things go wrong or do you blame you know , the world around you ? So when we're talking about these behavioral styles and a high D , a very direct person like Steve Johns , he bolted on skills such as understanding others , teamwork , probably diplomacy intact .

Those are just some of the 25 soft skills that we measure in our assessments and interestingly , I think that our DISC styles we form those when we're young . We have a behavioral preference of how we like to show up and we can kind of make little shifts throughout the day .

We don't want to adapt hardcore for a long period of time but we can bolt on skills . And skills are like going to the gym , so the more you use them , the more you build them . If you want to increase your negotiation skills , go negotiate more , and if you stop going to the gym and you stop negotiating , then you get flabby in your negotiation skills .

So know that there are things about you that won't change your preferred style and there are things that can change , and those are those soft or even hard skills that you bolt on to your style .

And , as we talk about personal development , I really think that the key takeaway from all development is first you have to know yourself , having an assessment done of certain things , whether that's a self-assessment or one of those cool online tools that I use , or if it's a therapist or your wife's assessment of you understanding where you're at with things first .

So first know yourself , so then you can grow yourself yourself and then you show yourself to the world and it's kind of a continual process . Disc is one of those assessment tools that I use a variety of those and it just measures how we like to interact with the others . And DISC is D-I-S-C . Just for really quick reference the D is about being direct .

High D's like being direct . Low D's not as direct . They like to kind of wait on things or be more reflective .

I's are very influential or interpersonal , fun-loving , and the S is about being steady and the C is about being compliant .

So we all kind of have our own styles that we enjoy or that we prefer to show up being styles that we enjoy or that we prefer to show up being and we're not locked into that , and I think another good example of a behavioral style with cool skills bolted in is a high I .

A fun-loving , exciting , optimistic , talkative person who has the bolted on interpersonal skills is a fantastic human being , just somebody . You want to be the megaphone of your company , somebody who is great and engaging to be around .

But I've met high eyes with low interpersonal skills and I often say that they remind me of a puppy who pees when the doorbell rings . It's like I want to be with people . I'm just not good at it . I'm going to lick your face and you know . So my preference , and if I'm good at it , are very different things . Sometimes it shows wisdom .

You know a high S on a lot of flexibility skills and adaptability skills . Those are soft skills onto a style that says I don't like to have to change . That shows me somebody who's aware of themselves , bolted on some skills to adapt when things don't meet their style . So that's why we need to just add more skills onto who we are .

Let's be a more skilled version of the person we want to be .

He was talking about this on soft skills and he was saying that , using your distinction , the distinction between soft skills and hard skills , soft skills are hard to define and they're not as hard so and he was saying that soft skills you could actually define them . You know .

You could say , you know you could train someone to , for example , stand up every time someone comes into a room , smile and shake someone's hand whenever they meet somebody . It's just there's a long list of those little micro things and interactions that could improve your soft skills .

So , even though they are soft , like we call them soft skills , they're actually specific behaviors you could . This is this is what he was arguing you can specific behaviors that you could identify and and learn and and repeat , you know , in your interactions with people .

If you want to learn some interpersonal skills , you go find some Dale Carnegie classes and learn how to win friends and influence people , right . So I think it really comes down to first know who you are , take an assessment and find out which skills would you like to build .

You know , I measure 25 skills in most of the assessments that I use on a given individual and not everybody develops all 25 . Most people don't , and we don't need to beat ourselves up for the skills that we don't have developed .

You know , sometimes it's about leveraging your assets or your superpowers , the skills that you're already good at , instead of trying to like beat yourself up about some skills that fall at the bottom of your skill hierarchy . And there are some skills you don't need to have in order to be successful in your day-to-day life .

So it's important to go through that list , say what is it that's important and I'm not good at , so I can focus in on that and when I learn which skill it is . If it's interpersonal , then I'm going to Dale Carnegie courses . If it's planning and organizing well , I might go take some more strategic leadership courses or something like that .

There are some thinking skills like conceptual thinking . Are you good at learning ? There's some people that are very passionate and driven to learn . They're curious people , but they're not continuous learners . They're not good at it , so they might be curious and they ask you the same question next week .

But people who are curious and have bolted on continuous learning skills , they learn those things and retain them . So other things like futuristic thinking . Steve Jobs scored very high in that Imagining the iPhone before you know the iPod was even created . So really creative thinking . And then the last one , thinking achieving .

And then people skills creative thinking , and then the last one , thinking achieving . And then people skills , soft people skills , such as empathy , understanding others , coaching and development , negotiation , persuasion . Those might even sound like salesy things , but negotiation and persuasion .

For your admin assistant , can she present , you know , an idea and persuade the team into doing that ? Or can she present and persuade the owner into a fantastic new cost savings idea . So it can be pretty helpful . And my favorite , of course , is emotional intelligence , which kind of fits almost into a category of itself , and that's really EQ .

Or it's the ability to control your own emotions , understand what's happening to you , control that and understand what's happening to other people so that you can help moderate the conversation . People , so that you can help moderate the conversation .

It's really when we get hijacked throughout the day with all the things that happen to us can we settle down and get back to making good decisions . Everybody in every business needs this . You need this at home . I'm the super advocate of it because it's so helpful .

The more EQ you develop , it's proven that leaders at higher levels all demonstrate that they have higher levels of EQ . So , even though it might sound like emotional intelligence and a little bit fuzzy stuff , it's really just awareness . Do I know that I'm stepping on your toe ? That's it .

And there again , there are hard tactical things and easy practices to put in place to increase those things .

So he got kicked out of Apple and then he ended up starting Pixar or buying Pixar and growing that and leading that team and Ed Catmull was actually kind of running the day-to-day operations with the Pixar team . He was the creative . Steve jobs was kind of just funding it and providing a little bit of feedback and doing negotiations with external parties .

And I think Ed Catmull had said that Steve jobs didn't realize how he was affecting other people . He would go into a room and he would just say obscenities about If it's something that he saw that he didn't like , about the product or whatever it was . He would just say , oh , that's explicative , that's whatever XYZ .

And then he would afterwards wonder why that person was like upset with him or was acting weird . He didn't realize oh , cursing someone out , as you know , that will upset somebody and they won't want to work with you anymore . So he kind of figured it out eventually .

I guess his time at Pixar he saw Ed Catmull kind of handling a team the way you're supposed to do it and he kind of learned that and went back to Apple the second time and he did great things , like I said before . So it seemed like he was probably pretty low on that emotional intelligence , which I think I'm also kind of low on that .

I'm not naturally high on that and it sounds like from what you're saying this is having a high emotional intelligence is crucial for leaders because they got to know how are things affecting them emotionally so they can regulate themselves and then also understand how their actions or how other things are impacting others , so that they can make sure things are going

on keeping , keeping on track with

their team and they're aware of what's going on .

He didn't care to regulate that and say , whoa , I just got triggered off of that phone call and now this is going to happen and it sounded like he scored low . In step three , which is understanding the emotions of others , you know so . And then step four everybody was angry with him .

He had to score low because he wasn't good at like , making everybody kumbaya . So it's not um , these soft skills are really about understanding and regulating your emotions . They we found that there , more and more studies are showing that a team will never increase beyond the eq level of leader .

So it's super critical If you want your people to be able to sober up from stressful events really quickly . You want them to have less analysis , paralysis or anxiety because they're worried about things that are going to happen , or if they're too controlling . You've seen those people .

I don't want to give you all the data in there , just they won't move because of that . These are all the hijacks that happen , that make us dip into our EQ bag , and if they're equipped to do that and deal with these emotions quickly and effectively , then your whole team runs a whole lot better .

But it's never going to exceed the you know the limit of the leader . So developing your own as you develop your team is really critical , and I think that's maybe what happened with Steve Jobs . He had that good example , that leader that showed a different , higher watermark of how you can handle people and your own emotions better .

And then you know , and especially in this type of business , the painting industry is all about people . You know you're not selling widgets , you're selling a service that people are executing . So , even more so than you know Steve Jobs is running , he's selling iPhones .

Obviously , people are involved in that , but you know , in our , in the painting industry , you're actually people have to do the work , do the service , so it's even more important . So what ? What are some uh like red flags that we should look out for in ourselves or that we need to improve emotional intelligence ?

Is there any kind of things that you typically we can flag in our mind , like as we go through today , or typical pitfalls that maybe what you see entrepreneurs make the folks that you work with ? I don't know . Yeah .

I have to pick up steak for dinner tonight on the way home , all the , all the things . Um , so the the higher your eq goes , the better you're going to be able to deal with those all those different kinds of things and the red flags that come up . Is you're dealing with those stress , those stresses , for too long of a clip ?

You know , I got stressed out and I . It took me three hours to sober up . I went home and had to kick the dog Right . Strong EQ is almost going from , like you know the old Jedi term , the dark side to the light side . We call it sage perspective .

Haven't , when you're clear about who you are and what you want and you're feeling good about yourself and you're making great decisions , and it's before you get a horrible phone call from a client who's upset , that's sage perspective . What would they do before they got hijacked .

So how often are you outside of that sage perspective and how long are you out there ? Those will be good indicators of how you're feeling about your EQ . Also the feedback you get from other people .

If people often are acting confused around you or you hear wind that maybe people are upset after meeting because you said it the wrong way , well , those are some just opportunities for you to check out the tools that it takes to learn a little bit better EQ .

Or a painting problem , you got to fix that . But the internal , the intrinsic problems to solve is how do I not let this screw up my day or make me have bad decisions ? Or , you know , fire off and do the wrong things . So the real tactics are understanding when you get triggered . What are the your specific saboteurs ? There ?

We've identified about 10 or 10 that trigger us . One of them is like the hyper rational , like everything has to make sense . If it doesn't make sense , then I get a little bit anxious right . Or a lot of business owners are hyper achievers . It sounds like a good thing . All of these things have served us in the past .

I wanted to achieve things to you know , build my future and to have good self-worth . But now if I didn't do everything on my list , I feel like a bum . Or if we didn't hit those numbers , are we worth it . Are we a good enough company ? The self-doubts . So we each have these saboteurs that we kind of I don't know that we gravitate toward our favorites .

So understanding which ones those are , so you can arrest them really quickly , can kind of help you understand your emotions , understand how to regulate those really quickly . But really just arresting those mean old saboteurs that pick on us in our head , you're not good enough , you're not achieving enough . This is too boring .

Go find something more exciting , get distracted . You know those kinds of things . But it's really going to be too much on my plate not being able to say no , not being able to effectively handle my challenges and problems , because these saboteurs are bothering me .

And maybe for Steve Jobs , maybe it was a hyperachiever trigger he had , like where he because he was so meticulous about every little detail , about whatever product it was it it was every line of code , every you know surface , the color , the font of everything . It is just ridiculous .

So I think he had that and maybe that controller , like he needed to make sure that it went his way , or else , you know , things are going to go wonky and you know , our guys in the field have these triggers happening to them each day , just like Steve Jobs . Go on . Sorry to interrupt , no , no .

So now that I know that I'm going to get triggered when we're not hitting our sales numbers because I'm hyper achiever , you know , trigger triggered . So from there I can kind of down regulate my emotions and and just take a breath and let that emotion pass before I start reacting to whatever happened .

I'm judging myself pretty strongly about that . So now we're just going to go into this perspective of transition . Do I want to accept this situation I didn't get everything done on the list or do I want to change it Really ? These tactics are simple . Didn't get everything done on the list or do I want to change it Really ? These tactics are simple .

There's a lot that goes in underneath it , some really cool tips and easy tricks to make it come together for you . But it's do I want to change it or accept it ? And if you accept it , I only got eight out of the 10 done on my list today .

Then you go home , you close your computer , you don't think about it the rest of the night , you just fully accept it . Or if you want to change it , I really wanted to get those 10 things done . Now there's five sage approaches attacks , tricks , tactics on . How am I going to figure out how to get ? What are the ways I could change it ?

Maybe I'll explore different ways to change it . Maybe I'll use the innovate . I won't explore ways that I know in the past . Maybe I'll innovate a new way to get this done by morning . So I'll call a VA to have it done or a friend I know . So there are different tactics . Those are two tactics we use when we want to change .

But , like you said , identify so you can arrest , then regulate your own emotions and then switch into these PQ tools , which is accept or change , and then , if it's change , do one of these five things . I'm making it sound very simple , but like everything that's simple , it ain't easy , it's a practice , and yet you'll have to do it a few times .

But I think that's what's cool about the program that I'm offering and having a great time with is there's a cool app that reminds you to take a quick PQ exercise throughout the day . So instead of one long meditation in the morning which are fantastic for folks it reminds you , like , after lunch , why don't you take a 30 second PQ break ? Do two exercises ?

You'll handle your next sales call much better with those ongoing reminders .

Of course we assess all sorts of things , but a really cool program about what are your top saboteurs and then how do you arrest those and learning those techniques to keep those at bay , and it's a week kind of a boot camp program to go through and learn some of the fundamentals , while an app guides you and kind of gamifies it a little bit so it says you

know you get some points for doing that . You get some , some muscle built to show that you're increasing your eq . And I'll tell you what it's . Um , every time I use it more consistently than I do regularly , I see just betterness in my relationships , really my ability just to deal with life .

The same money problems don't bother me as much when I'm very skilled and routine with my PQ exercises .

Or , hey , give me that free PQ assessment you offered to Daniel's group members and I'll send you out an assessment where you can identify your top two , top three saboteurs that are getting in your way , and I'll send you some tip sheets .

I love that idea of know , grow and show , measure who you are and where you're starting from and then decide who do you want to be in life and then build that , build that and then go show that off to the world because you're wonderful the way you are and just keep continuing to look at that again and then build even more and then go show that to more

people and inspire them and do life on your terms .