>> Speaker A: Uh, I mean, I still ate it, of course, but, like, I'm sitting there and I'm like, what in the heck did they do to my popcorn? Like, I stood there and watched the guy, like, onto the popcorn. Welcome back to privy. Privy is a podcast about bathrooms recorded this week. We're back in my home bathroom. Uh, it's good to be back. Uh, but it was a delight to get to spend some time, uh, in a friend's domain last week.
So thank, uh, you again, Gavin, for having the show and for, uh, enlightening us on the woes of law enforcement and bathrooming. Um, I've shared, uh, on the show that I am an, well, I'm going to say enthusiast, uh, of the beautiful black beverage coffee. Uh, it is so good, and it definitely changes the makeup of what is going on, like, downstairs, specifically back
door. But it primarily does that through, again, the laxative properties of the coffee, which, again, our friend Gavin last week so graciously, uh, discussed how it is an organic laxative, and so that's why we choose it. And before we get into the show, I want to just take a brief note here. And I got, first fatty sunburn. Not, um, really bad, but it's there. And, um, so might need to get some aloe or something. Probably not, because it's not that bad yet. And did wear my wife's sandals to
school. I, uh, work at a school. I did wear those this week and stretched out the straps. So she hasn't figured that out yet, but she's probably hearing me from the other room and is discovering it in real time, so that's fun. But, yeah, this week on the show, um, we're going to discuss coffee. But this isn't the coffee extravaganza. Um, but we really want to, uh, come at looking at a wild function of human phenomenon, uh, and ask and answer one of those age old questions. We've all been in this
situation. You're over at family dinner, or maybe you're staying the night at someone's house, and you're having dinner, and dinner is served. And what's that? That is plated before you. Your favorite friend, asparagus. Asparagus is there. And while you might love asparagus wrapped in anything or just straight up, I'm a straight up guy myself. I know some people got to wrap that noise in bacon just to feel okay about themselves. But just eat the asparagus. It's pretty good. But you
know what's coming. As soon as you numb m down those little tree friends, you uh, know that there's going to be some wild smells coming from the urination station later on. And so this week on privy, we want to ask, and hopefully answer the question of why does our pea smell? And more importantly, why do certain foods make it smell weird? And so to look at this, uh, um, I did another one of those cursory, like, hunter searches the Internet, because
here's the deal. Y'all could just pop onto the Internet and hit up google and find all of these answers yourself. But I think why you're coming here is to just maybe listen to a crazy guy just go on too long about the things that happen in the bathroom. And if that's the case, I'm glad you're here for it. So why does our pea smell? Well, the default smell of urine, which, um, never, if you're out on a date, those words should never, ever be said.
Never use the phrase, well, the default smell of urine, if you're ever out with someone ever. But the default smell of urine basically depends on how well a person is hydrated, as well as their diet and any sort of medical concerns or conditions they may have. There is what I like to call a lot of variables here. Uh, and the default smell of urine has kind of like an ammonia flavor. And we kind of discussed that on our
weird uses of urine episode. And we're not going to get back into the ammonia compound situation here, but that was due to primarily the fact that it has been used for cleaning and the ammonia. And they've used that. But the way that that ammonia compound gets in the urine, because you might be thinking to yourself, well, know, I got up, I had my cuff of Joseph or two, and I snacked down my lunch and, uh, went about my day, maybe had a snack, bunch of water. I mowed a lawn today.
So, you know, I supp down some water real fast. You put down one of them 20 ounce water bottles in less than 30 seconds when you're thirsty enough. Yeah, I watched this kid on TikTok, like, slam four of those in a row and then bottle flip the last one, and every one of his friends lost their freaking mind. It wasn't the best things I've ever seen. Um, but the flavor, that smell, that ammonia just wash, gets in there as your fluids and other waste products is passed through the kidneys.
So the kidneys is the part that does a lot of the cleaning. Most pee, if you want to know what it's made up of. So, on. Um, SpongeBob, you got plankton, right? Plankton's got one of those, like, you stick the thing in the thing, and it tells you the breakdown makeup of what it's made of. And he sticks in, like, seaweed. And it said 50% sea, 50% weed, which is. That's a
funny joke. But, um, if you were to waz into Plankton's, uh, tell me what's inside of it machine, they should make a character that's a mix between Dr. Dufensmurtz and Plankton. That would be an interesting mashup. I actually might be into that. Um, but if you were to pee into Plankton's, what's in it? Inator, if you will. Um, what's in it? Rp is primarily made up of water, salt, electrolytes, which, as I understand it, is just, like, super salt. Um, that's just
Gatorade. Like, gatorade is electrolytes and urea or uric acid. These are often, like, a protein compound. More on those in a little bit. And those two, the urea and uric acid, those are produced in the kidneys when they're filtering out all the yucky stuff your body doesn't need. And so if you're a person who's hard on your kidneys, just drink a bottle of water. Like, do your kidneys a favor and drink yourself a big glass of water. Right now,
dump one down for your kidneys. And think of your kidneys as, like, one of them Brita water filters. And, you know that top part that I think it just has grit in it and it filters the water down. But that top part gets all of the nasty stuff. It traps it all up there. And then sometimes it gets, like, that weird black, like, hoogity boogity up there. That black hoogity boogity is the urea and uric acid that is passed through your pee. The badness. The badness
and the sadness. And so your kidneys are doing a lot of the heavy lifting of, uh, filtering out the 40 ounce coffee and that big gulp you drank for lunch. You know what I'm saying? I see these people that, like. So I start my day with, um, between 20 and 40oz of coffee. I know it's fine. It's over the course of, like, four to 6 hours, but still. But, uh, here's the deal. There's some people that start their day, like, prior to
lunch, prior to 10:00 a.m. They start their day with a huge soda pop. And I'm not trying to talk you out of that if that's how you start your day you do it. But get off my chuff about my coffee. There is no sugar in my coffee. It's black. It's blacker than sin, so just cool it. And you know, those, like, those are going to generate some wee, like the big gulp soda and a, uh, big old fatty coffee. Those are going to generate some uric acid.
I'll tell you what, and the more of that uric acid in your pea, the more likely that we get that weird pea smell. Or as the layman would say it, the more dehydrated you are. What a world. So here's the deal. If your pea is extra stinky, it could be some sign, like, I'm talking extra stinky. It could be some sign of a condition or possibly an illness. And chief amongst these, and probably the most common, would be some sort of bladder or urinary tract infection. Uti. Not to be. Um, yeah, uid,
that's a different thing. Um, ied. Ued. We're not going to talk about that. Uh, it could also be a blood disorder. Like if your pea has a wild stank, could be something blood disorder, such as diabetes or a metabolic disorder where your body is not absorbing or breaking down things, as it should. Your pee can get stinky from all of these. And before we move on to the like, why do some things
make my pee smell a certain way? I, uh, need to share something very weird here, and this is going to tie into and hopefully pay off later on the show. But for now, it's time for a mid episode segment of hunter's anecdotes to keep you afloats. This short, hunter's anecdotes to keep you afloats is called p wires crossed. So when I was in middle school, and as I thought back on this, after writing my notes down, I, uh, think the. The catalyst of this happened. We're gonna get to that in a minute.
Uh, because I put that, I don't know when this happened, but I smacked my head pretty good when I was in late middle, early high school, and I think that's the catalyst of when this phenomenon began. Um, but in middle and high school, something happened. And one day, uh, me or my parents or me and some friends, I don't remember who, but we went to the movies, and we got some popcorn. You get your big old bucket of popcorn, and the
dude's like, do you want butter? And, uh, up until now, because I'm too old to put butter on my popcorn otherwise, it gives me what we call a tummy ache, because my tummy is fragile to popcorn, apparently. Uh, but he's like, do you want butter? It's like, yes, sir. Load me up. And m he's getting the butter all over there. Uh, and he hands you this giant box of popcorn. Like, if one person ate this large popcorn, they should be hospitalized. Um, like, it's bigger
than most people's heads. Uh, and so you get your popcorn, and you trundle into the movie, and you plop it down. You're sitting there, and I always try to wait to eat my corn before the movie, until the movie starts. Otherwise, I'm going to blast through that bucket before we're halfway through. So you're sitting there, and the movie's going, and I reach for that movie corn, which, again, tears me up something fierce. Nowadays. I think it's the butter. It has to be
the butter. I'm an old man stage of life, but I reach for the corn, and as I raise my fist full of poppid corn to my mouth, I smell you take that big draw. That big draw. That's the sound of allergy nostril, by the way. Um, you take that big draw of poppet corn into your face hole. And most people are like, my goodness, I love the smell of popcorn, and I do, too. But when I did it this time in the movie theater, I got the overwhelming
smell of urine. And, uh, I mean, I still ate it, of course, but I'm sitting there and I'm like, what in the heck did they do to my popcorn? Like, I stood there and watched the guy, like, onto the popcorn. And so I ignore the impulse and I just eat the popcorn and finish the movie. It's like, okay, it's just some weird thing. Maybe some little kid is in the movies and they had an accident. You just smelled the pee a little bit. Who
knows? But you never know. Um, and so a month or so later, we're sitting around the house, and my dad will regularly pop. Just randomly. He will just show up on scene with a bag of popped corn. And it is one of his greatest credits. Uh, nobody's ever upset by it, I'll tell you that right now. Um, but my dad shows up with just a bag of popped corn, and I go and rip that colonel delight right open, and you get that first whiff of a fresh bag you're just getting up on there. And I hit
it with again. The smell of pea meets my nostril holes, and I'm going, what is going on right now? And as time goes on, I notice that it's interchangeable. I find that sometimes when I pee or even like, uh, there's been times where I've been pooping and I've been sitting there and somebody comes in and blasts a rigorous stream. And I smell it, and I'm like, my goodness, it smells like popped corn. It's uncanny and unsettling, if I'm going to be honest.
And then other times, I rip open a box of corn or a bag of corn, and it smells like pea. And I don't understand it, but it has made for some weird moments. Like, I remember the first time I explained this to my wife, and she was just like, what? Are you serious? I was like, yeah, it smells like pee. I, um, know it's
not. Um. And when our kids were both in diapers, there would often be a moment where popcorn would be popped in the home, and I would smell it, and I would think that one of our children had an accident, only to be reminded that my nostril is a freak nostril. And it is made for some weird moments because coupled with the fact that my nose is broken in this very specific way, I also don't have a filter. Um, and so one time
in college, shared bathrooms. Gotta love it. I've shared about the shared college bathrooms before. Someone had just blasted off team rocket were blasting off again, big stream of wi. And it smelled so strongly of wi in the bathroom. Like, not Nintendo's wi, but like trucker Dave wi. You know what I'm saying? Big urine. And I swear I walked into the bathroom and I just began asking people if there was fresh popped popped corn in the bathroom, because my brain was convinced that it was
popcorn. Like, it smells like popcorn. My brain p wire is crossed. And it hasn't always been. Uh, sometimes I smell my pee. Not in a weird way, but you know how when you pee and you just do catch a whiff of it? Sometimes I do that, and it doesn't smell like popcorn. And sometimes I enjoy a bag of popcorn, and it doesn't catch me with my brain thinking it's urine. It's not a consistent thing, but it is a thing that happens. And it's freaking weird because I love
popcorn. So when it does happen, it can be unfortunate because it's like, well, man, I kind of wish it didn't smell like a little bit like pea, but I can't be that grossed out because just last week, I drank, like, 16oz of orange juice that was over 40 days past the date. And so, uh, this pea smelling popcorn, it doesn't really matter to me. I'm going to snack it down because it's delicious. And that is a brief hunter's anecdotes
to keep you afloat. Uh, this week we want to discuss the many things that makes pea smell weird. What does it, and why? And so some famous quote, famous foods that will rank your bank include, and we mentioned this at the top of this show, asparagus. Asparagus. You know, it would be a wild episode of vegetable tales where they explore like, hi, I'm junior asparagus, and I'm coming to grips with the consequences of my actions. And they use the smelly water
as a consequence. And that way it's just like a joke for the parents. It's like, hey, parents, you know what this stuff does to, you know what I'm saying? Uh, I think in my riffing on that vegetable tales show, I may have just accidentally wrote the synopsis for the fake book and the publishers in elf that they talk about writing about with the self conscious piece of asparagus, who has the smelly pea. But anyway, wow,
what a wild tangent. Um, asparagus makes your pea smell weird when the asparagus fluids in your kidneys, uh, meets up with the kidneys, and it's broken down into a compound. And that compound is called none other than asparagusic acid. Yes. Uh, the asparagus p produces what is called asparagusic acid because why else would it be named asparagusic acid? This acid contains sulfur compounds, which is what cause the unpleasant smell. This phenomenon can also be observed
sometimes outside of asparagus. If you eat natural sugars, such as dried fruits, it can make your pea smell sweet. Um, and if this happens, like, if your pea smells sweet too often. I'm not a doctor. Big disclaimer here. I'm not a doctor. But if your pea smells overly sweet too often, go see a doctor. Because it could be an early sign of diabetes as the sugars have not been broken down appropriately in your urine.
This phenomenon, this sweet smelling pea, can also be observed if someone consumes too much honey. Other things of note that cause some rank waz are fennel and brussels sprouts. You may have heard of garlic breath. Like, it's what SpongeBob and Patrick ran around with when they weren't really ugly. We're, uh, not ugly. We just think you take your date out for a hot round of all you can eat pasta bowl, and you're three deep on a garlic loaded pasta, buddy. And now you have bad breath problems.
Well, garlic can also hit up your golden streams. It's not just a bad breath problem, it's a bad pea problem. When it's broken down in the kidneys, garlic produces the same chemical that makes you less kissable. Allele methyl sulfide, the culprit here being again, the sulfur compound. But this time with the garlic smell. I've never done a garlic pea, and I wonder if it's like my popcorn thing where sometimes it makes you want popcorn. After the experience.
Did you know it's possible to get too many vitamins? Yeah. Vitamins, if you didn't know, are rocks that make your body powerful. If you gobble up too many of these power rocks, it's going to do some weird stuff to your pee. The flintstones yummy vitamins. They're delicious. But if you eat half of the container, it's going to do some weird stuff to your pea. That's a lot for your pea to break down. And
it could change it. Not just the smell, but it could change the color to kind of a peaish shade of green, which would freak my beans so hard. If I peed and what looked like lime Gatorade came out, I think I might pass out. Like, if I'm standing there, zip, drop, sploosh, and the sploosh just looks like some sort of weird, like, green shampoo. I, um, think I might pass out on that or think I was an alien.
I'm not sure which. If you get too many b vitamins, it's reported that your pea can smell like fish. Uh, that's such a terrible image to me. The worst smell in the universe is nothing that comes out of a bathroom. The worst smell in the universe is the smell of tuna fish that has been soaked and sitting in a container in the sink in warm water. And it has sat for more than 1 second in that water. So bad. Stinky tuna fish water is way worse. I would rather somebody rip
beef square into. Well, no, I wouldn't, but, like tuna, uh, fish water is way worse than any fart on this universe. But we're really getting into the weird zone here. Like fish smelling pea. That's wild. As I noted, there are a number of medical concerns that can be related to the smell of pea. And in short, if you're concerned, call your doctor. Go see your doctor. A couple that I have shared, um, as far as weird things that make your pea smell weird, one, uh, that I experienced is coffee, that
beautiful brown bean brew. If you're sick of the chemistry part of the episode so far, strap in, because we're not done. Coffee contains the compound hydroxynamic cynamic. Run at it again. First try. Here we go. Hydroxynamic acid. That has to be it. The hydroxy cynamic acid is what makes coffee smell so good and is responsible for why coffee is considered to be good for you. Do you hear that? It's considered to be good for you. So drink up here on
privy. We drink the coffee, pour yourself a beautiful cup of bean juice, and if you don't like bean juice, that's totally fine. I'll let you marinate on it. You know what I'm saying? This acid, the hydroxy cynamic acid, when it is broken down, but when it is broken down, it can't get rid of all that acid. And so the more coffee that you have, the more likely that some of that hydroxy ceramic buddy is getting
through and going to sneak through. They're like, um, no, actually, it's more like, dear lord, there's so much here we have to let some through. And sometimes there is so much that, as I have shared, your pea will just smell like a cup of coffee. This, coupled with the caffeine dehydrating, you may make the sensation even worse. When more than one cup is consumed and, you know, more than one cup is consumed, another that I have experienced is Cheerios. Or more
specifically, honey smacks. Ye oldie Diggum's frog is serving up the smacks. And sometimes when you eat two men of old diggum's oat cereal, puffed rice, I don't know if it's puffed. Whatever. It's puff something. Puff the magic puff dragon. You know what I'm saying? Hoofity puffity. Show me the woofity. You get oat juice in your pee. That's what you got to know. Old diggum's frogs getting your weird pee.
Or at least that's what my brain does. And these phenomenon are usually when the thing is consumed or was consumed in way too high of quantities. You overdid it. Last for me, and as I shared earlier in Hunter's anecdotes, is the popcorn. After the fact, I went and did some self validating research, and it turns out with the power of the Internet and the googling this nonsense, I'm less of a freak than I thought I was. Because here's the thing. I've never felt more validated in my entire life.
It's real. This is real. I've decided to share the quote directly as it is written on healthline.com. Healthline.com writes this quote. Some common foods that may cause your urine to smell like popcorn include. Drum roll, please. Popcorn. There you go. But wait, it gets better. Large amounts of protein, which is high in ketones, and coffee, which contains large amounts of chemical compounds that leave the body through your urine. This is it. If you know me, you know that
I will consume three things. This dude loves popcorn. He will eat some meat, and, you had better believe, guilty as charged. I love, love, love that beautiful brown bean juice. Love coffee. It's the, uh, popcorn. Urine triforce has been completed and has blasted itself out of my nether region. I have my answer. There's one more thing that is kind of wild and can make your piece smell different. And I saved this one for the end here, because what in the freaking heck?
Sometimes inside our bodies, our organs can touch each other and they can rub up against each other, and they're not supposed to do that very much. And sometimes when that happens, there can be holes formed between one organ and the other. These organ holes are called fistulas. Yep, fistula. It's an unfortunate sounding term, but when this happens, things can pass between those holes. They're like weird portals or, like, ways through the upside down
from one organ to the next. And sometimes a fistula can form between the bladder, which traditionally stores urine, and the stomach or digestive tract, which traditionally stores dookies. And when this happens, sometimes the pee system can get infected with poopy particles, and you're going to have a fart pee. Love you. Love you, too. Yep. Uh, wife just came in. Clutch with the drink. But you get a pea fart, fart pee, much like the green pea
thing. If I'm peeing. If I'm peeing and I get a big draw of that pea smell and it smells like a fart, I would be so freaked. Our bodies are amazing. Yeah. So what's happening on this is some of the poopy matter is getting in your pea stream, and it's making your pea smell like a fart or a turd, and it's just wildly disturbing. Um, our bodies are amazing. That's what you got to know. Um, and sometimes the systems we have in place produce smells we would not
expect. And I think what is uncanny is when those smells match up so well with the way the food went into our body that it hits us like, oh, my gosh, this is weird. And for the most part, it seems like it's totally okay unless it smells sweet. Pretty much everything I saw, if your pea smells sweet, to you. Go to your doctor and let them know about that. Uh, just do that. I want to take a moment before we get to the end of the episode and we close out here. I, uh, have a
review to read. We would love for you to leave a review on the show. The reason we ask folks to do that, the reason podcast asked it if you didn't know is it helps folks find the show. Uh, so that way when they get on iTunes, I've switched back over to net. We're not important. Um, but when they get on whatever their podcast catcher of choice is and they start punching in, like, bathrooms, potty toilets, the things people search for
all the time. The higher rated a show is, the more likely it is to pop up into somebody's suggested bar. And so if you would please go into your podcatcher that you're listening on, and if it's Spotify, hit that five star. Five star is preferred. If you're no, just rate the show. We want to hear from you. Um, the downside is Spotify does not let you write a review. And so, uh, you do not have to write a review on Spotify. But if you are so inclined, we would love for
you to write us a review. And if you do, we will do our best. Write us, uh, uh, an Apple podcast review and we will read it here on the show. And we have a review to read this week. This was a five star review. Thank you for that. Uh, left by J. Swizzle McNiner. Uh, thank you, Jay swizzle McNiner. I have a guess at who this is, but Jay swizzle McNiner writes, kyle Anthony sent me here. He told me to tell austin Kent hi. So I'm pretty sure I know who you are,
Jay swizzle. And we're not going to get into that. But, um, hey, first of all, I want to say shout out to Kyle Anthony. Papa Kyle, you're in my phone as papa Kyle Anthony. Thank you for sending Jay swizzle this way. Love, uh, you. And, uh, also shout out to Austin Kent, previous guest on the show, who is swiftly approaching fatherhood. So shout, uh, out to him again. Love you guys. And, um, yeah, thank you, Jay swizzle McNiner, for writing the review. If you
would like your review, read on the show. Uh, and you can make me say nonsense words, leave us a review. Apple podcasts also, one last thing before we get to the closing, the cintus, America's greatest restroom competition, which we covered, um, in part, last year. And this year we will be covering it in full. Uh, is currently back underway, and they are taking submissions for the greatest bathroom of 2022 until June 17. So you have until
June 17. If you are listening and you know of a stellar bathroom that is clean and awesome to look at, it's super dope. You can go to the, uh, uh, cintus, America's greatest restroom competition webpage and we're going to put a link in the doodley bopper here. Uh, but go and nominate the rad bathrooms that you know. Yes, we'd love to. And send us an email, say, hey, I nominated this bathroom. It's going to be awesome. As always, thank you for
listening. Uh, I appreciate you being here and listening to me talk about p for too long. Uh, as always, we want to thank Kevin McLeod for the use of barroom ballet as our intro and outro music. You can find Kevin's music@incompetent.com and his music is licensed under creative commons license attribution 40. Thanks, Kevin. We would also like to thank Pottington bear for the use of all the colors in the world as the hunter's anecdotes, intro and outro music.
You can find Pottington Bear's music@pottingtonbear.com thanks, Pottington. Follow the show on social media at privycast. Rate and review all that stuff. Thank you guys for listening. Love you guys. And now, as always, don't forget to flush.