If you pee in it, like it's fine. It's gonna stink if it sits too long, but like it's gonna run down eventually. But if you poop in this noise, it's gonna chill up top and begin to do what Dookie does and that is be stinky. Welcome back to Privy. Privy is a podcast about bathrooms recorded in a bathroom. I'm Hunter Hoover and I love bathrooms. ah It's spring break. If you're hearing this, you are right at the end of spring break. So congratulations, you've made it.
ah This year definitely feels different than last year. Last year there was a lot of... What's this COVID thing gonna do? And this year there's a lot of, you know what? I think I know what this COVID thing is gonna do now. enough of that. You know what comes after spring break? Actually, it just depends where spring break falls. So there's no controlling that.
But. April Fool's Day. April 1st is a completely made up holiday where punks and ne'er do wells go out and they play tricks on their parents and their friends. And this is what I'd say. uh This week we're talking about bathroom pranks. ah So happy April Fool's Day. And you can treat this as either what to look out for or it could give you ideas for things that you could do to terrorize the people that you know and love. yeah, tricks and gags.
And I would just remind you that if you are going to pull pranks that you need to do things that are one, intelligent, two, not harmful to people, don't do that, don't do stuff that does damage or bodily harm or things like that. That's no good. Also, Just be aware that when you begin doing a prank, you are probably entering into a ongoing social contract wherein you will receive a prank in return at some point in the near future. So just be ready for that.
Know what you're getting yourself into and be okay with it. So for some folks on April Fool's Day, they simply can't wait long enough to just roast somebody they love. And you know, know these people where they just like, they're always looking for a way to, yeah, just get you. And I think I did that for sure.
When I was a kid, in my brain, particularly those middle school years where there was a little more punkishness involved, I definitely think that I was one of these people that just loved to pull a prank. And so if you are that person, this week will serve to give you maybe some ideas to work with in the bathroom areas of your life and pranking. If you are not that person, or if you are regularly terrorized by one of these type of people, this is what I'd say.
This week is giving you knowledge and information to be on guard against such things. And as GI Joe says, knowing is half the battle. The other half is implementing that knowledge so as to guard yourself against the awful pranks that could be coming your way during this time of year or all times of year. But For some reason, April Fool's Day is something that gets brought up. I don't think it's something that people actually do, but whatever.
When it comes to bathroom pranks, there's only a few different types. And the two main types are the categories gross out pranks, which I bet you can't guess what's going to happen there. Somebody is going to do something weird or heinous in order to get you that. Eww, face and feeling. Gross out pranks. You know them, you love them. Gross out pranks. The other are... what I like to call scare the life out of you pranks. And these are pranks that are designed to do exactly what the thing says.
Scare the pants off of you, which is good, because you're in a bathroom. And when you're scared that bad, you might be nearby a facility that you need to use. So first we're going to look at some honorable mentions on the uh gross out. Yeah. So a few honorable mentions. The first are spiders in the toilet bowl. You buy these little like plastic spiders and you can put literally anything that a person's afraid of. Cockroaches work real well. You can even throw a little rubber snake down in there.
You know, it'll do the trick. But. Yeah, this is self-explanatory. You put something that the person is afraid of in the toilet bowl or on the toilet seat or around the toilet area so that way when they get ready to approach and do their thing, they are met with this disaster thing and they, and they freak out and they do that. The next honorable mention is the practice my art on the toilet paper prank.
So essentially you take what you did in the previous prank and you pull it over to the toilet paper. you draw a spider or a cockroach or whatever you need to draw on the toilet paper in order to get a rise out of the person who's gonna go in. And if you're really good, I recommend drawing it like a few sheets down so that way as they unroll it pops up and then you get more of like a scare factor on the deal. This is an upgrade from the previous one.
But yeah, the next is what I call, spent money for a toilet seat that scares you and I probably will get to use it one time prank. So you can go online or into some of these like gag shops and you can find things that you can put in or on or around your toilet. to make it look like a dookie monster or like a whole bunch of spiders or something that is going to pop up or pop out or be there when you open the toilet seat. And so, ah you know, what's going on here is pretty self-explanatory.
You are purchasing an item. And as noted, I don't know how many uses you're going to get out this unless you live with a few people. But like, you know, say you spend 20 bucks on one of these and you set it up and homey Attenborough, let's call him Donna. Donna rolls in, she lifts the seat, she gets the hoogity boogity scared out of her, and she screams. Everyone who is in the home at that time is going to hear that scream. It's gonna be like, hey, what's Donna doing?
She's scared, I wonder what Donna's scared about in the bathroom. Maybe the next time I go in the bathroom, I will be on guard against whatever the hoogity boogity was that scared her. So. If you are a person who's looking to purchase one of these items, just know that you might not get a lot of resale or replay value and that's fine. Just be okay with that. Like you might not get to use this more than one or two times and that's okay.
A couple more from the scare you silly is this next one is called creepy thing placed in my shower or creepy thing placed so they see it in the mirror. And this one's pretty self-explanatory, you know, you get some sort of weird cardboard cutout of something that the person's afraid of. I would argue it doesn't even have to be something that the person's afraid of.
You could do any human-shaped cutout and if you situate it right to where that person is only going to see it when they are getting ready to wash their hands or like pull the shower open and it's standing there like It doesn't have to be like Sasquatch or the Boogeyman standing there. You can just stick like Nicolas Cage or Black Widow or whoever. It doesn't really matter. The presence of a person and a person's shape and figure where you did not expect one, that's gonna do the trick.
The other one is to situate this. It's the same thing, but you situate it so that way they don't see it. until they like go to wash their hands and they look up and it looks like there's somebody behind them. You can do this the same way, but like do it on the back of the bathroom door so that way, you know, they come in, they shut the door and like my current situation when I'm sitting on my sweet old throne here, ah I'm looking directly at the back of my bathroom door.
And so You know, if I was to situate something to where it was sitting there to where when I shut the door, it was staring at me and I didn't pay attention, I guess you could scare somebody with the back of the bathroom door. You could probably get away with that. ah So that's another one. The next one is an honorable mention only because the amount of rigging that you have to do to make this guy happen is considerable. And so it's not very practical.
And so it doesn't get into the like, cool, you should try this prank zone. So it's called the blow horn under your blow hole. And essentially you rig up a blow horn with duct tape and other stuff so that way when a person sits down on the toilet seat, it honks them and it scares the crap out of them and hopefully they're already in place for that to be a beneficial thing.
But it's scary and Some glory spots, glory spots, for bathroom scare pranks include modified put something where it scares you. Again, this is the back of the door where you really, really think about your placement, more so than just sticking it where you would expect. And like, this is gonna get a bigger scare and hopefully it's something that you can move around the room to make the life of the prank last a little bit longer.
The next must try for scare city pranks comes with a big time disclaimer. You probably won't ruin your toilet list doing this, but if you do ruin your toilet, be prepared to replace the toilet. So in other words, do this at home if at all. I would suggest not at all. This one is called poop goes the weasel.
You know those throw down fire poppers that you just throw them in like friction makes them go pop. Well, and you know, if you lived in my neighborhood, you always had the dug kid that's like, I'm going to stick it in your shoe or I'm going to throw it at you or whatever and may try to make it pop on you. Trolls. That's not cool. Don't do that. But you put a couple of these throw down poppers under the contact points of the toilet seat where the contact point meets the bowl.
When a person sits down, you get that pop, pop, pop. if you're not expecting that in the realm of your pooping area, it's gonna stand out to you. That's all I'm gonna say. Yeah, if you're not expecting it, it's gonna get you. It's like a Whoopi Cushion meets explosives, I guess. From here, we're going to move into the gross out zone. Some of these are gross because they are crass, and some of them are gross because of the end result they produce.
For honorable mentions in this gross out zone, there's the litany of just gag disgusting items. And what I mean by this are your fake poops, your fake vomit, your semi-translucent piece of rubber to make look like fake urine. You can get spray that smells like farts, fake yeast famine hygiene products, fake dookie diaper. The list goes on for some time.
Like if your body produces it and it's yucky for other people to come in contact with, somebody has probably made a fake version and sold it on the internet. These aren't good because they're not cost effective to the result they produce, in my opinion. If you want to send somebody one of these as like a gag Christmas gift, that's totally fine. But like, don't be just rolling around with like rubber dookie in your pocket just to see if you can get a rise out of the people. yeah, don't do it.
I will note that they also sell something called no tear toilet paper. I've never heard of this. I've only seen it on the internet, but that could be funny. Like the frustration of your toilet paper not tearing right or not tearing at all. Like that could be a good gag. However, if you can't rip the toilet paper, that makes me think that like you're gonna pull a whole bunch off and then you're gonna try to wipe with that noise.
And if it's got a situation enough to where it's hard to tear, then it's probably not gonna flush well. So you're probably looking at maybe some toilet damage. Yeah. Another disgust though is called the Saran Wrap Disaster.
Now, this is in the honorable mentions category because while this prank is it works for a wee or a do, if you wee on this prank, like if you set this prank up, And the person who is getting ready to go bathroom does a liquid bathroom, which is code word for going urine, which is code word for peeing. which is, nevermind, um it hits that saran wrap. So I didn't describe the prank. You spread saran wrap over the surface of the bowl.
So that way, hopefully if you've done it right, they lift the thing. You can't see, because saran wrap's clear. And they do their business onto the saran wrap. And yeah, you do your business onto the saran wrap. And the goal of this is for it to kind of like hit weird and. But if you're peeing and you pee on to stretch Saran Wrap, that is where you are supposed to be peeing, it's gonna splash and go everywhere and nobody wants that.
And the puddles do all the things that no person ever wants pee to do, to go outside the toilet. So, be ready to clean up this prank because it could get filthy, but with two T's, but if it's a do, which is code, nevermind. uh It's pre-choice because if you can get the Saran Wrap to stay, it's going to be in the, it's gonna, the sensation is going to be applied to the person's undercarriage. And that's code word for the poop is gonna touch your butt because the saran wrap won't let it go down.
And if that's the case, that's awful, but like. I mean, that would be very unpleasant, but it's also like you're in the room of the house where you're going to deal with that. So it's like, it's not the worst thing. This is what I'd say though. You can't flush Saran Wrap.
So if you do this prank, like you have to like retroactively try to stop somebody from flushing their toilet, which is kind of the log line for a lot of these pranks is like, if you stick rubber snakes or plastic spiders or whatever in your toilet to scare somebody, And then they decided that you can't let them flush that. So a lot of these pranks allow like they require you.
to like get in there and shout out like, hey, no, please don't flush, I will deal with it, like, no. Which you don't wanna deal with that because if it's actually their stuff, you just don't wanna deal with it. Another internet prank that gets stuck in honorable mentions is essentially what I would call the toilet bowl science project. you rig up, and this one's again, honorable mention because it's a long walk to the store.
You rig up a toilet bowl with a bunch of vinegar in the top and, you put a whole bunch of baking soda in the tank of the toilet so that when they flush, it overflows the bowl and it is likely to contain a lot of what they just deposited. Again, there is a cleanup factor. unless you want to be cleaning up some whack noise, don't do these ones. There are better pranks to scare or disgust your friends with or yeah, just watch out. Check the bowl before you go. Foolproof.
I will say I'm not convinced this prank will work. Like I say a couple spots where they're said to roll a big roll of TP and shove it in the S bend of the toilet to stop it from going down right away. But yeah, if this works, you will have a dookie volcano. If it doesn't work, you will have a somewhat cleaner toilet. That's cool. Some gross out classics include expo brown streaks in the toilet. You grab the expo marker.
You just like unroll a little bit and you just make like brown streaks on the toilet and you roll it back up. And then the person thinks they've got like pre-dukey toilet paper when they go to wipe their bum. Got you sheet. Classic prank. Next is the greased bum. You spread some Vaseline on the toilet seat. Middle school fodder, but man it's unpleasant. This also unlocks the Vaseline on fill in the blank handle, corridor handle, faucet handle.
Put Vaseline on stuff, people will get annoyed with you. Another classic is the upper deckard. And I had it pointed out to me by a friend last week, I was chatting about the podcast, and he was telling me that to them, the upper decker is when you spread ham and you like balance on top of the bathroom stall and you try to like from six feet plop a turd into the toilet. Let me set the record straight, that's not an upper decker.
An upper decker is when you remove that like thing from the top of your toilet and you just shoot poo in there. m bad. If you pee in it, like it's fine. It's gonna stink if it sits too long, but like it's gonna run down eventually. But if you poop in this noise, it's gonna chill up top and begin to do what Dookie does and that is be stinky. So you have two options. If somebody does an upper decker to you, you have to remove it or lesson learned.
If you perform one of these and somebody catches you and then like makes you deal with it, which they should, um You have two options, remove it the old fashioned way, is rubber gloves, snap, get the hand in there. ah Or wait until it breaks down enough to pass naturally. I don't recommend this option. Cause if it's, if it's taking that long to break down naturally, it's going to produce some weird stink. An upper decker is cold blooded and you can kind of opt out.
Like if you don't want a brown into somebody's top deck, You can take a big mess of Swiss Miss hot cocoa mix and I'll tell you what, the smell won't be a problem and you might have a sugar problem, but like it looks real bad. It'll probably pass sooner. It'll have the same desired effect where it's like they flush and it's like brown is coming through and they'll look up there and it'll just look like a booty swamp of Swiss Miss and it's a swamp tank. Get rid of the upper decker.
The next prank here is called Nutella disaster. And this one is choice. You scream for a TP reload. I have run out of sheet. I need sheet. And you call out to the outer realms of your bathroom domicile. And while they're getting it, you sneak a little bit of Nutella spread on your fingies. And you get just enough. And then when the person reaches the toilet paper, back into the bathroom, you, air quotes, accidentally smear Nutella on the back of their hand while you grab the toilet paper.
Of course, they're gonna perceive this as poo poo and they're gonna be frustrated and it's a good prank. It's a safe prank. Nobody is hurt, it's Nutella, it is all about perception. And here's what I'll say, don't do this to strangers. There's like YouTube videos where people go out and they're like, ooh. I pooped on somebody's hand. First of all, if that's what you're doing on YouTube, uh, no, stop that. But do this with people you know. This is a funny one.
People, you know, it's not funny with people you don't know because I would argue if, somebody like got upset enough to where like they got authorities or like acted on something because again, they, they perceived that you pooped on them or spread poop on them somehow. It doesn't matter if you actually didn't do it. Like you still have to deal with the consequences. There is such a thing as a prank going too far. And if you're being a jerk to people you don't know, it's gone too far.
That's what I'm So the last bit of mention here is what I would call bathroom adjacent pranks. ah And these include the XLax disaster as featured in Dumb and Dumber. You feed a homie too much XLax laxative. They produce insane dookie. It is what it is. uh spray brown, head down. like a clown. The next is heinous, but it's very funny. If you have access to someone's undergarments, then you have access to what I would like to call the crotch bomb. In this, you can choose your material of choice.
Itch powder, chili powder, icy hot, whatever. But the idea is, is you are going to wipe or spread some of that desired material on what I would like to call the zone. And the zone is that area where you would say in your brain, you know where I would least like to have any of those materials spread? I'm gonna spread that on this area of that person's clothing. Yeah, more on that in just a second. you can also put on, Icy Hot on someone's deodorant for a similar effect.
You can replace people's soaps and suds for other things. Hair dye if you wanna take it too far. Strange liquids if you wanna keep it safe but weird. And now for... One new prank and two examples of how I've used these pranks, I take you to a special prank filled edition of Hunter's Anecdotes to keep you afloat. Couple of pranks here that we have pulled back in the day and I don't want to share too many because you know I want to spread out some Hunter's Anecdotes.
But so this one's not really a bathroom prank but it's just like I thought about it earlier when we were talking about the uh Air Horn. I remember we were out on this youth trip. oh You know it's one of those things where it's like you're staying overnight you know guys are in one half girls in the other half and I just remember one of the guys had an air horn for some reason. I don't know why we had an air horn. I don't know why we're allowed to keep the air horn.
Looking back and now having working with teenagers, I probably would have done more to police this air horn in some way. ah Which what happened was we in the middle of the night, like one or two in the morning, which you know you're staying up late when you got the situation, we grabbed some duct tape. We taped like the air horn horn thingy down.
So that way it would not stop going off and like we did it just so that way we could tape it down and we threw it into the girls sleeping area where they were all asleep. You know again it's 2 in the morning and we just stand outside the room as there's just like mad scramble to figure out where this awful very loud terrible sound is coming from. We got in trouble is fine.
The other the next prank is one again where I have delved delved into bathroom pranks and this is not one that I I necessarily was involved with myself, but man, I got to see the end result. So there's this kid in high school. We'll call him. Dereme and Dereme, you know, he is who he is. Like, he's a cool guy and people are like just razz in their friend.
The way that I enter into the observation of this prank is Hunter is sitting in geometry class and as he's sitting in geometry class, uh our teacher is just doing his thing at the front of the room and You know, he's instructing and he's doing this thing and and and Dereme is like getting twitchy on the other side of the room, like just obviously discomforted. Obviously there's something going on and our teacher even calls him. I was like, hey, do you need to like step out and go to bathroom?
He's like, no, no, I'm good. And I just remember these two dudes in the class just dying laughing because they're like, and it comes to find out like they had spread Icy Hot all over in his like I don't remember if it was his like jockstrap for sports or if it was his like underwear that he was currently wearing. But whatever it was, he had Icy Hot all over his ding ding and it was causing some problems in geometry class. And this kid was like incensed that this happened.
It was a good laugh and it was funny. And it probably wasn't funny for him, but it was funny for everybody else in the room. So check your undergarments. PSA in the middle of hunter anecdotes here. Check your undergarments before you go throwing those things on, especially if you're like in a gym or around other people who are ne'er do wells. yeah, just check on that stuff. The last prank here, and this is not a real prank, but it comes to you by way of a hunter's anecdotes.
And it is what I like to call the poop volcano. And the poop volcano is this, and you're gonna need a few buddies or much time. So first of all, I'd say if you care at all or have any respect for any custodial person in your life, you won't do this prank. If you do this prank, you're jerk to custodians and they would have every right to make you deal with this yourself. But essentially what the poop volcano is, is you and some friends poo into the toilet.
You defecate and you don't flush and you leave it. You wipe, you leave it and then you do that over and over. You have another buddy, you tag in, you tag in, you tag in and you start to fill the toilet with brown. And you do this long enough to where you start to have to like squat on the toilet seat and like hover hover ham and like plop it to create a further volcano.
And I just remember in high school some of the kids who were like underclassmen did this in our boys bathroom toilet and the dookie volcano as I remember it came up and out of the bowl to where like if you looked at a level line of the toilet bowl there would be just this little brown mound that was protruding up over that line of like level. I remember like somebody like said they did it and they made them clean this up and that was sweet prank justice.
And it is another reminder from Hunter's Anecdotes that if you're gonna pull a bathroom prank you need to be ready to deal with the consequences and the cleanup of what that prank is going to have for you to deal with. It's just that simple. So this has been Another Hunter's Anecdotes to keep you afloats. As always, we probably missed some pranks and some prank classics. If you have bathroom pranks that you want to share, feel free to post those and use the hashtag privypranks.
We would love to see those. Send us and we will try to keep you anonymous if you would like. We'd love to hear from you. But yeah, share your pranks. If you pull a bathroom prank this time of year, we'd love to see those. Those are fun. Make sure the person's cool. As always, we would love to hear from you. Connect with us on social media at privycast. You can email us feedback, suggestions, pictures, whatever you need to email us.
We would love to hear from you as you build this community privycast at gmail.com. We'd like to thank Kevin McLeod for the use of Bar Room Ballet as our intro and outro music. You can find Kevin's music at incompetech.org and his music is licensed under copyright 4.0. Thanks, Kevin. We'd also like to thank Don't forget to flush.